I’ve spent the better part of the last couple of days in my car, listening to music on my iPod Macro (that’s what I call my laptop). This led me to contemplate, as I often do, the songs that make the best use of cowbell.

Without question, the winner is this Reagan-era jam by Time Zone, a Johnny Rotten/Afrika Bambaata side-project. If you can get a clean MP# of “World Destruction,” do it. This song is HAWE-some.

My next choice would be Prince’s “U Got the Look,” which only lost to “World Destruction” because of that annoying vocal effect he used on the track.  Since YouTube is made of suck, I can’t play that one for you.

I know it’s super-obvious, but “Honky Tonk Women” is a cowbell classic, whose only drawback is the howling, high-pitched harmony that sounds fine on the track, but makes you want to stab the douche in your car who tries to sing along to it.

Also obvious, and awesome, is “Lowrider.”

Cypress Hill’s “Lowrider” is awesome, too, but contains no discernable moo chimes.

In my quest for cowbell, I ran across this webpage, which lets you add cowbell to any song, along with Christopher Walken samples.  This misses the entire point of my exercise, but it is fun.

Another awesome display of bovine percussion is Miquel Brown’s ode to the Health Department, “So Many Men.”

I’d like to hear your suggestions, and then perhaps mock them.  I’ll finish up with the first entry on our next list, “Songs About Fictional Municipalities.”  Here’s “Funkytown.”

Closets are for clothes (some made out of hundreds of animal skins) and you gotta start somewhere:

Once you’ve freed yourself from the closet, don’t go crazy (as tempting as it might be):

Then again, you shouldn’t be too picky, bitch (unless you want to be alone):

Esta rolita es del 83 cuando muchos apenas íbamos en 5o o 6o de primaria. Pero de que suena, suena.

Año: 1983.
Album:ManPower

5, 10, 20, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 85, 90, 95

It’s morning, i open my eyes
And everything’s still the same
I turn to the guy who stayed last night
And asked him “what’s your name?”
This seems to happen more and more
I love those men one and all
Each new one i meet makes my heart beat fast
When i see them so strong and tall

So many men, so little time
How can i lose?
So many men, so little time
How can i choose?

They tell me i’m up to no good
I should just settle down
But i don’t wanna stay with just one man
I wanna sample what’s around
Feels like heaven every night
Being here with someone new
Physical thrill, a beautiful smile, and wonderful muscles too

5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95….

So really who cares about love?
Who wants that freedom taken away?
For fifty-two weeks of every year there’s a new man everyday
It’s too many choices to make up my mind
So many men can turn on my light
Don’t want true love
Don’t want friends
Just give me their bodies tonight

TRADUCIDA:

5, 10, 20, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 85, 90, 95

Es de día, abro los ojos
y todo se ve aún ingual
Me vuelvo hacia el chico con quien dormí
y le pregunto “¿Como te llamas?”
Parece que esto me pasa una y otra vez
Me encantan estos chicos
Cada unio me hace latir el corazón a mil
cuando los veo tan fuertes y altos.

Tantos hombres…y tan poco tiempo
¿Que puedo perder?

Tantos hombres…y tan poco tiempo
¿Que puedo elegir?

Me dicen que no estoy tan bien
que mejor me debería retirar
Pero no quiero estar un solo hombre
Quiero probar que hay por ahí.
Cada noche me siento en el cielo,
con alguien nuevo
Algo físico, una hermosa sonrisa y maravillosos músculos también
5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95….

¿A quien le importa el amor?
¿Quien quiere perder la libertad?
Hay un nuevo hombre todos los días, durante 52 semanas al año
Tantas opciones para elegir

Tantos hombres pueden encederme
No me interesa el amor real
No quiero amigos
Solo denme sus cuerpos esta noche.