I have not watched Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) in a while but this time I started watching late in the season.  I love the Osbournes and routed for Kelly the whole way.  Until I watched Donnie Osmond’s first dance on Monday night.  Well I fell in love.  He won, Kelly came in third.  I am happy and well I will see how it goes with Season 10…  Watch or not to watch that is the question!?

Went to see New Moon this past week-end…  Not impressed.  I loved the book it was my fave of all four I read it in one day at the cottage.  The movie just didn’t do it justice!  Jake all the way for me peeps!  Not contest in my mind!  Love me some werewolves! 

Have been skimming through blog roll here some really good blogs and writing you should do the same when you have some time.

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat, please put a penny in the old man’s hat if you haven’t got a penny a ha’penny will do if you haven’t got a ha’penny then god bless you!  Picture Miss Piggy and John Denver!  I love it.  Gotta break out the CD!!!!  I am so very excited, I am sure it is going to be a good year for us!  I have done most of the shopping only about two more to go! 

Work have been good nothing too much to report.  I for the first time actually enjoy coming to work. 

 Cell phone is busted.  Every timeJames calls it hangs up on him!  LOL!  I think it’s hilarious and it just really ticks him off!  Oh and I busted my Parking break in my car and with a manual trannie it ain’t a good thing!

 Love, happy to be in it! 

Was going to do a pic of the day but found this on YouTube instead!  And they say dogs are dumb!

Here’s a quick recipe too!  They have a new Budget wise section on Kraftfoods.com and a big Potluck section for Christmas and US thanksgiving coming!

http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/recipes/chicken-parmesan-bundles-107338.aspx

So, I am going to the One of a Kind show with  my Mother-in-law and Grandmother this Sunday!  I have not been in years, should be fun! 

Along with the One of a Kind we used to go to the Sugar Plum Fair every year at Casa Loma, it was the National Ballet of Canada’s major fundraiser.  Kinda miss it.  We always got these chocolate and caramel covered apples from a place called Treemendous apples.  I don’t know if they still exist!

I am really very sad that  Eastwick has been cancelled it was really the only new show this season that I liked. 

Jon and Kate plus Eight signed off on Monday night!  I am really sad!  I am going to miss that show quite a bit.  STOOPIT  Jon.  Criminal Minds and Vampire Diaries have moved into my fave show category although I am really leaning towards Table for 12 as a replacement and in the end I still have 18 (soon to be 19) Kids and Counting! 

It’s kinda funny that this season I didn’t watch too much of the reality TV, I have not watched Survivor, missed a few of the Hell’s Kitchen, got board with ANTM to the point I PVR’d it and skipped to the end every week so I could just see who got kicked off!  I am getting back to the dramas except when it comes to TLC.  Oh who am  I fooling, still watching the Housewives and Tori and Dean.  Still watching Canada’s Worst Driver!  I love it!  My newly discovered Rescue Ink is GREAT too!

Had lunch with an old friend and her puppy last Friday!  It was nice!  This time of the year is always good to reconnect!  

I miss my best friend we don’t see nearly enough of each other.  Lives are too busy!

A shout of Sympathy to my long time friend MAB.  You have an angel watching down over you know.  Just know that Snoopy is with Tiny and Mowhawk now!  You will always have him in your memory! 

The loss of a loved and cherished pet is devastating especially when they are nearing their 20s.  Here is a website that helps with this…  http://www.pet-loss.net/index.shtml However you need to remember that you have to go through the stages or grief the same as you would with a Human being!  Don’t let anyone tell you any differently!  http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

Well that is me done!  Going to sign off now!  Have a good one!  I won’t leave it so long in between next time! 

Para millones de personas la canción de 1975 Bohemian Rhapsody de Queen es simplemente una obra maestra, que como una muñequita rosa, tiene tres canciones en una, ya que la canción se divide en una parte en ópera, otra parte a capella, y por último, un poderoso solo de rock. Y parece que a los Muppets de Jim Henson también les encanta, por eso, esta vez se han encargado de hacer un cover del tema musical escrito por Freddie Mercury para el album A Night at the Opera. ¡Ver cantar a unas gallinas o ver gritar a Animal es toda una joya!

Simple y sencillamente… ESPECTACULAR!

It’s been doing the rounds on Twitter, but if you haven’t seen it yet…

There is nothing about this that ISN’T full of WIN.

I was looking for a scene from Elf at the suggestion of my girlfriend, but my friend Norm posted this on his FB at the last minute, and…  well… sorry hon…  Norm wins.

Noun: Miss Piggy.  Opinion: Worship.

This is some fucking pig.

That’s what Charlotte would have had to spin on her little web had she met Miss Piggy, a force so inimitable and awe-inspiring that she doesn’t even have a first name and makes the world address her by title.  “Some Fucking Pig.”  I would like to have seen this meeting happen, between two exceptional ladies from the annals of my childhood’s artistic education, though it seems a foregone conclusion that Miss Piggy would have pretended to be afraid, scream, then eaten the over-articulate arachnid.

Well, Charlotte is dead, but thankfully Miss Piggy lives on.  She is currently starring in a video that comes from who knows where (YouTube, birth mother to all things worth wasting life watching) but landed and splattered all over my Facebook homepage.  Yes, she only shows up at the end, but steals the entire fucking show from those other pussy Muppets.  They need to get their headshots in order and polish up their audition routines in the hopes of getting some work way off the Strip, since Miss Piggy is Muppet enough for five universes.

She is also the author of one of my favorite books from childhood/now, Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life.  I guess it was meant to be funny-haha, but I took that shit seriously.  I learned the ways of sporting feather boas and broad-brimmed hats, a habit I will reacquire as soon as I figure out where my family buried them to keep me from bringing shame upon my kin.  She wrote nothing but sense—given the choice between a pastry and an artichoke, for example, she shrewdly advises to opt for the pastry.  It weighs less.  There is no arguing with such impenetrable logic.

Here’s the thing that is so goddamn inspiring about this talking porcine lady.  Her self-assurance goes against all odds—fat (by magazine standards, not Midwestern street fair standards) with oversized nostrils, she has resisted the pressures of her show business environs to own the fuck out of what she has.  As opposed to some.  You know those two pink Mahna Mahna background bitches had work done.  No one has lips like those without the help of a syringe filled with hyaluronic acid.

But enough about those fraudulent hos.  Miss Piggy, in all her zaftig glory, snorting up pastries through her snout then karate-chopping scrawny, emotionally-unavailable frogs into next Wednesday, is a role model for women everywhere.  She’s crazy affected, delusional in her self-confidence, and obliterates the French language like it’s the Parisians who have it wrong.  Yet there is a serenity to her that is enviable and admirable—the zen of self-love and acceptance.  Never do you see her caught up in the tangles of existential angst or driven by the need to validate her being.  Get over yourself, Kermit. It’s not easy being yellow, either (just ask Scooter, diligent and near-sighted, the most Asian of all Muppets).  She glides into a room like the gift to mankind that she is, tossing her flaxen weave, fluttering her fake eyelashes and pronouncing her presence in a singsong voice.  Attention must be paid!  Take THAT, Sam the Eagle!  She has more charisma in one of her eight fingers than you do in your entire bald head!  Try running for office against her and your thinly-veiled Republican ticket will be effing ANNIHILATED in swing states by the margin of the number of closeted trannies who live there!

There is no better source of wisdom than Miss Piggy.  You need a guide to life?  Look no further than to the only Muppet who looks like it could teach you a thing or two in bed.  Bitch is fierce.

Since I’m off and I will probably not post from NC – dude, its going to be in the 30’s – my fingers will probably freeze off!!!

Then I will leave you with this (if you already seen it, then see it again, its well worth it) – you are welcome.

File this under: Things we’ve always wanted, but never knew it until it was dropped on our foreheads.

So glad that we can still get to see original content from The Muppets. My generation grew up with them and I’d find it very sad if future generations didn’t have them around. This is classic Muppets at their best!

- Jason

Holy shit it’s Miss Piggy singing Peaches’ “Fuck the Pain Away”! Wow, that’s seriously awesome.

Flazzummed by Coilhouse.

So I’ve decided instead of a regular post on Fridays why not help you get the weekend started with some words you can live by.  Today’s inspiration comes from Miss Piggy.  (Yes, the puppet.)

Never eat more than you can lift!

(Classic.)  See you all on Monday for the music madness!

This so good. Peaches’ aching, bass hungry Fuck the Pain Away as done by Miss Piggy. Amazing AV concept.

Miss Piggy with Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem – Dr. Teeth at vocals and keyboardist, Janice on guitar, Sgt. Floyd Pepper on bass guitar, Zoot on saxophone and Animal on drums. Music by Peaches.

Peaches’ official video for Fuck the Pain Away

The Muppets & Sesame Street!  I remember watching this as a child, my favourite characters were Kermit, Miss Piggy, Elmo and the Cookie Monster. Elmo’s voice was so cute (go listen to this Elmo and Andrea Bocelli it is soooo sweet!), I loved him, always wanted an Elmo teddy bear Big Bird was too big for me, so he wasn’t one of my favourites

Programma mito degli Anni Settanta italiani e americani.

Sesame Street – in Italia noto come Sesamo Apriti, e anche come il Muppet Show, ma quest’ultimo è una cosa diversa – è stato il progetto televisivo educational di maggiore successo al mondo. Mentre Sesame Street, in Nord America, si è occupato in modo più scolastico dell’insegnamento dell’inglese ai suoi spettatori bambini – con delle topiche meravigliose tipo: “Today we will learn the letter E [pron. italiana: "i"]. E, like in Elephant!” che hanno a mio avviso sempre confuso i bimbi anglosassoni sulla reale pronuncia della vocale “E” – il Muppet Show, nato nel 1976 e poco dopo doppiato in italiano, ha avuto un intento meno educational e più ironico.

Oggi si festeggiano i 40 anni di Sesame Street, questo meraviglioso programma, che ha, nel bene e nel bene, plasmato un modo di fare televisione istruttiva e intelligente in 5 continenti.

I miei personaggi preferiti del Muppet erano, nell’ordine: Miss Piggy, Statler e Waldorf (i due vecchietti), l’orso Fozzie, Kermit la rana, il Cookie Monster, Bernie e Rocco Scirocco. Qui per una lista completa di tutti i personaggi del Muppet Show. Dite quali sono i vostri personaggi preferiti nei commenti! Intanto vi ricordo la sigla, che io cantavo senza sapere le parole inglesi, ma era il 1978:

La forza di questo programma, però, era nel fatto che spessissimo anche i personaggi periferici diventavano idoli imbattibili, come nel caso delle due gemelle Kessler dei Muppet, alle prese con la celeberrima “Manamanà” qui sotto, disturbate dal rocker:

I think we have established here just how passionate I am about bringing down the Kermitocracy. Seriously, given the choice between bringing down the Kermitocracy, and, say, winning a trillion dollars, I would feel much wealthier bringing an end to the Porcine-Anuran Campaign.

That said, I am obviously an advocate for anything that will help end the reign of terror that Kermit is perpetrating against us humans on a daily basis. Any and all actions taken against the Kermitocracy are worthy of our utmost respect, even our reverence.

But some attempts at steeling ourselves against Kermit just miss the mark.

Case in point: Forterra Systems, Inc. They have apparently invented a way for workers home sick with the Miss Piggy Flu to continue to be productive through the use of avatar conferencing software, not unlike Second Life (except without the fun).

According to their press release:

The solution, based on 3D Internet technology, allows users to work from remote locations and be as productive as they would be in live settings without the risk of spreading or being exposed to the potentially fatal virus.

Using existing compute and networking technologies found in most businesses, academic or government organizations, the solution allows users to use a PC to log into a secure virtual environment where they are represented as a fully-animated avatar.

Through this avatar-based computer interface, users are able to perform a broad range of communication and collaboration tasks…They can share and present a variety of media and documents to other participants with just a few clicks of a mouse. The avatars breathe, move naturally, and perform a broad range of hand and body gestures — just as people do in the real world — which creates a more natural and compelling environment for the participants. The results of all interactions are visible and audible to all participants logged into the environment.

Avatars can easily be customized to look exactly like the real users instantly creating recognition and trusted bonds between users in the virtual setting. Users are able to talk to each other naturally through the use of integrated VOIP technology using a headset.

Users can work from home or any other location and remain connected to the rest of the organization or external parties as if they were physically co-located, enabling them to stay productive.

The ability to bring your employees and your entire business ecosystem together in a familiar setting where they can collaborate as they would in the real world is critical to support continuity of operations.

In these uncertain times where the H1N1 virus has the potential to cripple your business, this solution offers a simple and effective way to maintain continuity of operations by allowing employees to work remotely.

“The wide-spread outbreak of the H1N1 virus poses a real risk to continuing operations for many corporations, government agencies and academic institutions — it’s not just a warning this time,” said Dave Rolston, CEO of Forterra Systems. “The solution we’re offering is a tool that allows your employees to work remotely, stay connected and remain productive. It does not require new equipment or infrastructure. You can start easily and grow, as needed. If you don’t have an effective plan for continuity of operations with the current pandemic you need one — and it should include this solution.”

Seriously?

What happened to the conference call?

People really seem to be getting off on complaining about Wal-Mart’s sick leave policy, but at least Wal-Mart workers don’t have to do their jobs from home when they get sick. Call me socialist, but if I get the swine flu, I doubt I’ll be “logging on” to give my PowerPoint presentation on quarterly earnings from home. If I did, I would make sure to hack, sneeze, and snort my way to an awkward ending of said presentation.

This company also seems to be big on selling their “humanistic” avatar system as a huge benefit. I mean, have they ever heard of The Sims, or Yoville? This isn’t exactly an innovation.

Yoville Avatars

The reason I am so worked up about this is that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there right now trying to develop new and innovative ways to bring the Kermitocracy to its knees. Meanwhile, this company is cooking up regurgitations of classic sim games in order to keep sick people working.

Forterra User

It’s a waste of resources, and only inhibits our ability as humans to continue the campaign against the Porcine-Anuran Movement.

If this company really wanted to develop something that would matter in these trying times, they would have cooked up a combat sim that would give the user terrifyingly realistic representations of American cities being overrun by Kermit and his cohorts.

If anyone knows of any such game, please notify this blog immediately. I obviously would want to spread the word and give the developer of such a game the proper accolades.

In the meantime, please spread the word about this senseless, offensive, and pointless development.

I thought this whole hoopla with H1N1 was winding down. I check Google’s flu trends on an almost hourly basis and noticed the number of flu cases trending down. I even gave myself a week off from this blog to reorganize my thoughts and begin investigating the Kermitocracy’s next move against humanity.

Then it happened. A cat in Iowa got swine flu.

I thought to myself, this couldn’t be. It can’t. It just shouldn’t.

But after double and triple-checking I was forced to recognize that the feline beauty I was reading about was the newest target in the Porcine-Anuran’s campaign to bring the human race down.

I guess after realizing that H1N1 was not strong enough to liquidate us all in a matter of months, Kermit decided to attack our closest friends, our pets, in an effort to demoralize us. This just might be Kermit’s most offensive act to date.

But I will not be demoralized. I will remain steely in the face of Anuran adversity. We have Kermit and his disease-ridden concubine against the wall, and now is the time to finish them off for good! Join with me, fellow humans, and let’s show the Kermitocracy what we’re really made of: happy feelings and the urge to bring down anything and everything involved in the Kermitocracy!

Protect your pets, kind people. They are the newest targets of a homicidal frog hellbent to destroy the human race. I recommend going out and getting your furry friends respirators, Tamiflu, and hand sanitizer. It was enough to protect us humans, surely it will be enough to protect our beloved animals.

Down with Kermitocracy!

Watch Dawn French exploring the relationship between Beauty and Comedy

It’s pretty easy to tell when my work colleagues miss me. I was out with the flu (or something) last week, and I was sent a few telling images that both professed my colleagues’ love for me, and their dismay at my absence from work. To wit:

This was, of course, followed up with a very clear message: I am nothing more than swine.

I love the people I work with!

We went to a Chinese restaurant lounge with my sister and Tina.   It was really fun!

An unforeseen example of how the Kermitocracy-created H1N1 flu is affecting our lives is manafesting itself all over the country: kids’ toys.

An ever-growing number of day cares and kindergartens are changing which toys kids are allowed to play with or taking toys away altogether. This is a sad development in the battle against the Porcine-Anuran Campaign Against Humanity.

A Common Toy

It may seem contradictory that a character so beloved by children everywhere would attempt to take toys out of kids’ hands. But that is exactly what Kermit the Demagogue and his seducer, Biggy Piggy, have managed to do.

I don’t even have kids, and I am absolutely appalled by this. To be honest, when the swine flu first manifested itself back in the spring, I never considered that one of the consequences would be the removal of our youngsters’ beloved playthings. How could a frog be capable of such atrocious behavior?

Where did his hatred of human freedom and human decency come from?

Was he abused in some way by his human creator, Jim Henson? I suppose we will never know, but no amount of mistreatment by his human counterparts justifies the actions Kermit the Despot has taken.

I think everyone would agree with the notion of putting toys back in our kids’ hands. That is why we have to stand up and fight back against the Kermitocracy. It behooves us to end his reign of terror against us. All humans: male, female, black, white, from every nation and race deserve to be in a world free of Kermitocracy.

Join the fight! And help us bring down Kermit!

David Paterson, governor of the state of New York, declared a state of emergency today due to the rising number of cases and deaths in his state.

More on this story and its impact on the Kermitocracy to follow.

China has lifted its ban on American pork.

This past Spring, China began boycotting pork from America after a successful propaganda campaign from the Kermitocracy convinced their leaders there that they and their countryman would die of swine flu were they to ingest American ham. The lifting of the pork sanctions indicates an important step forward both in international relations and the fight against the Anuran-Porcine Campaign Against Humanity.

That two countries as different as China and America can reach an agreement on pork at all is nothing short of a diplomatic miracle, and also a signal that nations the world over are setting aside their differences and coming together against the Kermitocracy.

I ask my readers to get in touch with China and thank them for their lifting of the pork ban in the name of the human race.

Down with Kermitocracy!

…It’s just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It’s just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you…
~Jennifer Paige

I had what can best be described as an opposite-gender-sheltered youth. With a father and two brothers as the true men in my life, I was conditioned to trust them and only them. Boys outside those bonds were objects of Daddy’s scorn, and boy-girl interaction was, if not prohibited, frowned upon. This moratorium on males continued well into high school, and left me inept and self-conscious in the presence of boys.  I’ve never felt truly confident in my dealings with them, and sometimes still don’t. But I’ve always loved the male species anyway, even when I was too young—or too naive—to understand the laws of attraction.

In first grade, boys were mere playmates, and I ran, jumped, and tore kneeholes in my jeans with them. I liked all of them, except the one who threw up oatmeal while the teacher led us through Dick and Jane. See Scott puke.

I couldn’t have cared less about the then-fuzzy concept of boyfriends and girlfriends.  But I soon realized Kirk was king of the boys, and to be one of “Kirk’s girls,” was a very big deal indeed.  Only problem was, Kirk hated me.  I was boisterous and unbridled, while Kirk’s girls were quiet and as decorous as a grade-schooler can be—a distinction foreshadowing the future of all my romantic encounters. After a day or two of mousy pretense, I convinced him to relent, and joined his harem.  I was excommunicated by recess, though, and as he leapt off the seesaw without warning, I slammed into the hard-packed, red dirt, busting my chin two stitches worth.

Second grade found me enamored with Ryan O’Ryan after he shared his crayons with me one day. I’d broken one of mine in some tragic waxident, and Ryan was nice enough to let me use his red-orange. I couldn’t imagine why his parents hated him enough to saddle him with such a name, but I soon found out. Upon learning of my admiration, he cornered me at recess, shouted, “I don’t like you!” and shoved me to the ground.

Having learned a lesson of sorts, by third grade I was studying the male animal with a playground’s width between us. My target for the next three years was the sandy-haired Russ, a soybean farmer’s son. My poker face non-existent, he knew. Everyone knew. And he accepted it, though he didn’t return my affection, and avoided me at all costs.

By middle school, I knew more of what male-female relations should be, though I was still more or less afraid of the y-chromosomers. I was especially fearful of Buddy, a volatile little bundle of sixth grade testosterone who’d get furious with himself if he couldn’t solve a math problem at first glance.  And he’d dispute a point with a brick wall, even if the wall had solid proof of its argument.  He was scary, but, gosh, he was cute.  Really cute.  Popped collar polo and tennis shorts way-out-of-my-league cute. We sat next to each other in English, and he told me crude jokes I didn’t understand.

“Hey, what’s worse than Olivia Newton John in Grease ?”

“I don’t know, what?”

“Come on Eileen. Get it?”

“Ha ha, that’s great.”  Yeah, no clue.

The unfortunate victim the rest of junior high was a dapper young lad with eyes sparkling like the pennies in his loafers, and eyelashes women would forever covet. I spent many mornings outside our homeroom in the company of the sweet and lovable Kermit, discussing our mutual obsession with the Garfield comic strip and related merchandise.

When I snuck the fat, orange replica I’d gotten for my birthday to school, he was delighted. And when one of the other boys grabbed the toy and threw it down the hall, scratching Garfield’s left eye in the process, Kermit retrieved it, and helped me camouflage the scuffed plastic with Liquid Paper.  He was a bit shorter than other classmates, myself included, but this did nothing to assuage my affection.  If anything, it made him more appealing—like a fun-sized candy bar.  I pursued him with no less determination than Miss Piggy, and, like his Muppet namesake, he bore my affections well, albeit begrudgingly.

The next few years saw a myriad of misdirected swoonings.  Having led such a willy-free childhood, I was quick to misconstrue any attention as “like with a capital L,” and formed a number of random, fleeting interests.

In tenth grade, standing in the lunch line, I met Brady.  He was wearing a shirt embroidered with a duck in flight, the sleeves rolled just past his wrists.  Khaki slacks, leather belt, and penny loafers completed his ensemble. (I like penny loafers, what can I say?) We struck up a conversation and became instant friends.  As time passed, my feelings grew beyond friendship, and I spent the next few years in the flux of hope and despair common to every teenager with an unrequited love.  I watched our never-to-be romance play out in every adolescent film, and did the usual bonehead teenage things, e.g. riding by his house five thousand times a day and saving the straw from his drink at Hardee’s.  In some misguided John Hughes-fueled gesture, I passed him an  I love you but I can’t wait forever note written in dramatic scrawl on rumbled college-ruled paper.  Eventually, the friend I had in Brady became more important than the boyfriend I did not, and we settled into a comfortable routine of two-hour phone calls and impromptu piano duets. (Yes, he was gay. Shut. Up. I already admitted my naiveté; I didn’t even know what ‘gay’ was.)

As Brady moved to the back burner, Jess got thrown in the frying pan.  He had the bluest eyes I’d ever seen, was good-looking in that unassuming way that makes men all the more handsome, and he was funny and smart.  And it was because of Jess my fascination with intelligence and wit began to cement.  From then on, my dalliances were founded more on brains than brawn. Again, I watched our never-to-be romance play out in films of the era, and did the same stupid things, e.g. riding by his house six or seven thousand times a day and saving the wrapper from a stick of gum he chewed. (Stop laughing.)

At the insistence of his best friend, Jess asked me on a double date to an out-of-town football game.  That afternoon, as I was planning what to wear, I realized my jean jacket—my only jacket—was doused with Brady’s cologne.  (Add to my bonehead list of teenage things spritzing my jacket with Halston Z-14 every time I went to the mall.) I presented the problem to my mother, for whom everything is solved with solvents.  She ran it through the wash with a capful of Pine-Sol.  Voila!  No more smelling of another man.  Unless he were a logger.  After the Carolina pine forest incident, I more or less gave up on any sort of romantic interlude with Jess.

By my sophomore year in college I’d had an actual boyfriend, but the next few years were not without folly. There was James, wry and lanky, who lived on a dead-end street, thereby complicating my usual stalking routine.  Then came Shane who, Super-glued to high-school sweetheart Dana, was a prime example of wanting what one cannot have.  Next was Tom, who also had a girlfriend (A minor complication, whee!) and then Rodd, South Georgia cowboy who both stole and broke my heart.  We had a failed date of our own, sans household cleaner.  For a moment, though, as we swayed to Patsy Cline in a backwoods barroom in Jenkins County, cheek to cheek, life was…perfect.  Shortly thereafter, he started seeing Campus-Slut Barbie Doll.

By now I’d earned a Master’s degree in biology, but was still a freshman in matters of the heart, though I’d had two serious relationships during that time.  My move to Athens for pharmacy school ended what was left of the last one, and I was free to again behave like a man-crazed idiot. I promptly did so with Jack, the tall, blue-eyed boy-next-door from Metter.  I was serious; He was not.  After several attempts to ingratiate myself into his life, and summer spent physically ill from his lack of reciprocation, I resigned to move on.  And it was then I met, pursued, and snagged my husband, finally beating love at its evil game.

And so ended my fatuous infatuations.

NOT.

I still love men in all of their inherent deliciousness. Though individually they are not without fault, collectively they’re divine, from the glint of a wedding band against a tanned finger, to a scruffy five-o-clock shadow, to hair that is graying at the temple.  And though I’m married now, and very much in love with my husband, I still entertain the occasional crush. It might be a celebrity (see also: Chris Meloni, Michael C. Hall, and Becks), an associate, a friend, or a co-worker.  It might be my doctor, my contractor, my lawn guy, or a Facebook pal.

Who knows? It might even be you.