vintage-bubble-bath-beauty by MLB

Eiffel Tower Camera Hallucination edit by Missi Lynn Boness

Sometimes I forget that I am responsible for my own happiness.
That it’s not all Ben’s (the ex’s) fault for where I am at.
It’s so much easier to blame him though.
Hell, it’s always easier to blame someone else, isn’t it?!

My ex’s aren’t completely culpable for my life.
But I wish it were so, than I could be totally off-the-hook for all the dumb things that have followed thusly.

The hard part about life is the moving forward when things are rough, unknown.

Learning to be happy in a strange, new environment is not my forte.
In fact this is the first time I’ve ever lived this far from home.
The fact that things didn’t work out as planned is a kick-in-the-face and a BIG “I told you so” kind of thing that I didn’t want to own up to.
But…
MAYBE this isn’t about moving to Fifield, Wisconsin and Ben getting a new a job (which didn’t happen)?
Maybe this is was all to get me to work on me?
Maybe this all about Missi learning to live with and “like” Missi?

It’s hard to be happy without luxury items…who doesn’t like getting in their car and driving wherever they please??
Who doesn’t like being able to go out and see their friends?
The fact that my car broke down after moving here (along with his truck!) made my life an even lonelier place to be.

My moving here has felt like a “being trapped” kind of thing.
Something that I was powerless in.
The more I saw Ben being happy and doing things (fishing, joining a pool team) the more I got depressed.

But I have recently decided NO MORE letting MY life slip by!
The world is STILL “out there” and moving on while I have sat and let it go on.
While I sat and wallowed in my own misery.
So, now I am taking ownership and doing a little more of what I preach to others.
This is a hard thing for everyone and lately especially hard for me.
I have recently started a blog, joined a (brace yourselves people!) “church” worship team and decided to get involved with our local Park and Rec department to help take care of the park that I take pictures of.
These are all things that I am doing independently of Ben and even my son.
Things that are to help me be happy with me.
Even though I want ultimately to move “back home” I think it’s important that I learn to be happy in the surroundings that I’m in in the meantime.
We should all learn to be happy where we are at….help create your bliss.
Find your Bliss!
Once again…live in the now. <3