Here’s what we know about John Edwards: A Fool and His Pants are soon parted. What’s the lesson? Lust Clouds your judgement!

It’s hard to imagine, but John Edwards is starting to make Paris Hilton look demure! Although they have a sex tape in common, she wasn’t arrogant enough to think she could run the free world.

I’ve got this many sex tapes being watched by the FBI!

About the sex tape. The truth is, no one over thirty should make a sex tape! Time and gravity are not kind! Remember, the camera adds ten pounds! (Of both fat and body hair, incidentally.) It also subtracts muscle tone, and good judgement.

This is a man who spend more time working on his hair than his marriage! This is a tragic story. I don’t think there is a person out there who doesn’t feel horrible for Elizabeth.

But this isn’t just about infidelity – the reality is, life is complicated, and sometimes infidelity happens. It’s how it’s handled in the long term. It’s about the audacity of someone who thought he could pull off an affair while running for President.  While his wife was suffering from cancer, and media were following their every move. Someone who thought he could make a sex tape and it would never slip out of his hands. Lust and power can blind you … it can cloud your judgement  – convincing you you’re invincible!

To commemorate Valentine’s Day, this week we’re taking a look at LOVE LESSONS, CELEBRITY STYLE! Some of the good and bad lessons we can learn from celebrities!

First up: MADONNA!

Lesson Learned: There are plenty of pretty faces out there… but after a while, you’d better have something in common .

MADONNA WROTE THE BOOK ON LOVE – AND APPARENTLY IT’S A CHILDREN’S BOOK.

Madonna is seeming less and less like a cougar and more like a spider that eats her young!

Having allegedly split from 23 year old Jesus Luz, (she had gotten everything she could from him, like learning about ‘texting’ and how to use ‘the facebook’) she’s reportedly got her eyes on a new guy – a 24 year old model. What’s the lesson? They’re always another pretty face out there… but after a while, you’d better have something in common. What can she learn from these guys? Sure, they can learn about history from her: she can explain that once there were black and white tv’s and phones had cords.

Before:

And after.

What do you think?

Recent reports claim Kim Cattrall is so ‘wrapped up’ in acting that she can’t maintain a relationship.

I’m sure this dress has nothing to do with her love troubles.

Okay, to be fair, this was for an ad back in October.

That said, she’s getting her fair share of tail in the upcoming “Sex And The City” movie. The flava of the film that seems to be exploding onto the scene is fashion model Noah Mills. He’s got little to complain about in the looks department. You may remember he was seen making GAP jeans actually look worth buying in their store posters.

Do you feel so bad for her now?

London’s Daily Mail Online is reporting that Madonna has set her eyes on a new boy.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jon Kortajarena. He’s 24. (her old flame Jesus Luz is 23.)

He’s a model, and if the below picture is any indication, he enjoys being paid to look ridiculous. Which is good! Because his bedside chats with Madonsy about their respective life experiences will be a bit ridiculous too.

Picture it! Madonna can talk about the past five presidencies or so, and he can talk about the night he drank alcohol for the first time.

Mind you, this is all speculation. And I’m not saying May/December romances never last… just Madonna’s.

More hookers are headed to Miami! Why? The Super Bowl!

This is not a real hooker. This is Mischa Barton. She is playing one on TV. (Specifically Law and Order.) PS – if you’re playing a hooker, do not let cameras catch you sucking on a lollipop. Have some sense, will you?

According to NBC Miami, “Circuit Girls” (as they call them) can thank technology for making it easier than ever to ‘go down’ down south! Simply buy a pay-as-you-go cell phone, advertise your services on Craiglist a week or so in advance, and before long you’re an easy girl on easy street!

bon voyage!

It’s another week of goodies from the treasure trove of fun that is Sherby57:

Sunday 24th

When a Man met a Woman – A touching modern love story about when two people completely misunderstand each other.

Monday 25th

Skirting Board Girl – A Story – It’s a kind of updated version of Cinderella, in which a lovely but put-upon young lady is forced to sit on a skirting board.

Tuesday 26th

Bernard and the Conkers – A Story – A haunting tale about a man and a big pile of conkers.

Wednesday 27th

Dainty Feet – A short daydream about what I’d do if my feet were less caveman-like.

Thursday 28th

Paying Attention – A Story – Another moving story about a man, a woman and the perils of paying attention.

Friday 29th

There’s no post today.  I know.  It’s absolutely shocking.  Sometimes even I need a rest.

Saturday 30th

The Dog Ate It – A somewhat florid explanation of why there was no post yesterday.

If your track record of dating failures has you lowering the bar, why not try someone BEHIND bars?

FriendsBeyondTheWall.com is sort of a ‘match.com’ for the incarcerated… where you can search for someone to start a healthy relationship with the old fashioned way – through written correspondence, and if things work out, monitored phone calls and eventual visits.

Natch, most of the folks inside are ‘wrongly imprisoned,’ but the Chicago Sun Times reports that even murderers get a chance to find friendship, maybe even love, through the written word. (Although there are some checks and balances put into place, and you can’t really send a steel file in a care package.)

This is part of the page – I could show some inmate profiles here but I value my safety.

The Sun Times article mentions three marriages that have come out of the site, but notes that not all stories have a happy ending:

Jimmy Moore, serving an 18-year stretch for burglary, said he knows of three marriages that grew out of a letter-writing relationship, but he’s never received a visit.

Worse, Moore said he was involved in a serious, yearlong relationship with a woman who concealed her true identity. Moore said the woman, who claimed she was 33, wrote almost daily, addressing her letters, “My Sweet Jimmy.” She also made thousands of dollars in phone calls to Moore, which she paid for, he said.

The woman wanted to get married, but Moore said something didn’t feel right. His mother advised against it, saying he didn’t even know her.

Then he learned the truth: she was the 66-year-old wife of a car executive. When her husband found out about the phone bills, the relationship was over. “She lied about everything!” Moore said.

Love is so damned hard!

While the New York Times online is still free, see Leah Carroll’s poignant account in ‘Modern Love’ of a child left behind. This story is local, the Providence Journal is part of it.

I felt a nervous flutter at finally seeing him, but my tension was not romantic. He wasn’t a love interest but rather a journalist who had written years ago about my mother’s murder, and about the men who murdered her. And about the economic decline and culture of despair in early-’80s Rhode Island that contributed to her dying as she did, at the hands of crazed drug dealers who suspected her of being a police informant instead of the mere addict she was.

A crime like murder kills more than an individual. It kills relationships and leaves a hole in a family. Leah Carroll makes it real.

Every week I read the New York Times’ Modern Love column. Not because it’s about love (although that helps). I read it because it’s often a good story. Occasionally it’s written really well. And since a different contributor writes the column each week, it always has a different voice.

In other words, reading this column is not only enjoyable, it makes me a better writer.

This week falls into that occasionally category — it’s written very well. This woman’s words are simply pasted together beautifully. And to top it all off, she tells a great story, mixing background into a scene in a way I’ve grown to appreciate since I started writing my book.

But the best part — the reason I’m sharing this story with you — is that I’m betting each and every one of you will relate to it, particularly the last paragraph. And that’s what good writing is about. It’s about telling an awesome story (check), pasting your words together beautifully (check) and weaving together something that will make the reader say, “Wow, I totally get that.” (Score!)

Read it here.

Thoughts?

Is my posting this the equivalent of setting a brushfire? News Of The World has the exclusive on a story that is spreading like crazy over the interweb. Brad. Angelina. Splitting. For real. Allegedly. Maybe. No really, for real. Their sources tell them.

Remember when Jon and Kate’s split made headlines? You won’t after this week.

Per the News of the World:

Preparations for a split began in early December when “Brangelina” visited a top Los Angeles divorce firm to begin thrashing out the deal.

An announcement of their separation is expected to be made soon – ending months of speculation that the five-year relationship is on the rocks.

A source told the News of the World: “The document was signed in early January. Both Brad and Angelina had signed it.

Sure, Jennifer Aniston might be doing a little happy dance, but she’s going to have to fight through a huge gaggle of photographers for the next month or so, each seeing if they can catch her cracking a smile so the tabs can run the headline “Aniston Ecstatic!” or a shot of her on the phone so they can run the headline “Brad and Jennifer Plan Secret Reunion!”

Sense of Place. It has been a while since I last wrote something on this subject. “The glass room” is the perfect novel for this tag.

The novel is set in 1928 Brno, Czechoslovakia. It’s the story of a couple (actually, three couples) and of a family. But also the story of a house, which still exists: Mies van der Rohe’s modernist masterpiece, Villa Tugendhat.

The novel is a truly immersive experience: architectural adventure, hectic Zeitgeist, intertwined passions, technologically advanced Czechoslovakia, a country in between the German and the West Slavic cultures. And of top of this, Simon Mawer plays with the delights of the German and Czech languages…how Mitteleuropean.

Turning the page 40 years later, California: “A single man”. I haven’t read the novel yet, by one of my absolute favorite authors, Christopher Isherwood. But I’ve seen Tom Ford’s movie. Mawer’s novel set in 1930s Brno and Ford’s movie set in 1960s California have two things in common: they are both set in magnificent glass houses and dive into intense, difficult – and modern, for their time – love stories. Modern love.

So, that mistress that former Presidential Candidate John Edwards had? You know, the one he denied having for a while? He totally got her pregnant. And how he’s admitting it. Why is he admitting it? Out of a moral commitment to the American public? hahahahaha No. Because a book is about to come out from a former aid who was asked to help him cover up the secret affair and subsequent baby.

So, I think we should have known Edwards was a narcissistic, um, not so lovable guy, when this video came out of him preparing for a satellite video. Who fusses over hair that is combed to the side this much?

Dear Lola,

I’ve just gone through a traumatic experience that changed the way I’m looking at my life. Changes need to be made, and I’m realizing that I don’t have anyone to share it all with. I guess you could say I’m the kind of guy who has everything and nothing at the same time.

This realization has also come with great power. There isn’t anything I can’t do now, but I am worried that my tough outer shell will do more than deflect gunfire.

Thanks,
Shellhead

Dear Shellhead,

I’m sorry I got to this so late. I’m packing to go somewhere, but I really felt you needed my help. This seemed to be ongoing theme in a lot of the letters I’ve received lately. This is a “growing trend” amongst my friends and colleagues.

You say you have it all, but you also have nothing. This is basically where you need to figure out where your priorities lie. In our rush society, personal relationships can easily be set aside in the drive to do other things. After it seems few people are remembered for being a lover not a fighter.

And have seen it happen again and again. I blame the go, go, go pace of these times. I’ve seen people choose career over love a lot. That there’ll be time for love or family after you’ve worked yourself to death. This is a regret for many working people today. You look around and you see, yourself alone and that’s scary.

It may be scary, but that doesn’t mean you can’t turn your life around. You can make your life turn towards the better. This is going to sound cliche but its true. You Shellhead, need to stop and smell the roses.

Well, today’s Modern Love has me sobbing into my coffee.

“When the loss is fresh, we immerse ourselves in details of what we think the deceased would want, in order for us to get through the horrific truth that they are gone, dead, and soon to be buried. Unthinkable. Unimaginable. And yet, it is so. Even today, nearly a year later, I continue to wake up each morning to confront the same unrelenting truth.”

Here are two life-snippets from the last few weeks or so that have been worrying me senseless.

Life-Snippet Number One: just before Christmas and keen to buy a new sun-hat – I’m at an age when these things matter – I walk into a surf/street-clothing store in the very guts of this modern and supposedly progressive city I live in (it’s not yet 100 years old, and it’s the only state or territory that voted for a republic in the 1999 referendum).  As I scan the shelves and racks for what I’m looking for I watch as two women walk into the store.  They’re middle-aged and might have dyed blonde hair.  They walk up to the shop assistant, a youngish man, and say they’re looking for a Christmas gift for their thirteen-year-old nephew – a kind of cool school bag, they request.  The shop assistant dutifully takes them to a display of bags hanging on the wall.  He points one out.  One of the women, who has a very broad Australian accent, says, ‘Oh not that!  We don’t want him to look gay!’ She isn’t joking.  ‘Yeah,’ says her friend, ‘we don’t want him to look GAY!’  The shop assistant, obviously taken aback but still keen for a sale, returns the bag to the display and then suggests another that might be suitable.  ‘Nah,’ says the first woman, ‘that looks gay as well’.  Again the shop assistant looks bemused, at best.  I walk out, hatless.

Canberra's not anywhere near the beach but it's the thought that counts.

Life-Snippet Number Two: on the Wednesday night just gone I visit my mechanic to pick up my car, a shitty little Barina thing that I don’t use that much because I like getting around on my pushbike (more on this in a forthcoming post).  My mechanic has his workshop in the Chinatown district just down from where I live, an inner-suburb that’s filled with students, public housing, and groovy young families that also get around on bikes, or in Subaru stationwagons, or environmentally-sensitive hybrids.  As my bill is being tallied up, I turn around and look out the workshop window.  Two women walk past: one is tall, the other shorter; the shorter woman has short dyed-red hair.  There is nothing particularly unusual about these women, except they’re holding hands, actually it’s more like they’re holding fingers, the way people who are very comfortable with themselves and their surroundings can often do.  Walking behind the women is another couple, an older man and woman; they’d be in their late sixties or early seventies.  The older man taps the woman – his wife, I assume – on the arm and points out the women ahead by doffing his head in their direct.  As if it’s the freakiest thing he’s ever seen.  I have no reason to think that the older couple is about to abuse the women – they look friendly enough.  But why is the sight of two women holdings hands remarkable, notable, even worthy of any comment whatsoever, even on this blog?  I return to the mechanic’s counter and settle my bill.

So what’s it all about?  Were the women on the hunt for a sports bag for their nephew truly worried that a particular design would have an impact on their young nephew’s sexuality?  Or were they already worried about their nephew’s sexuality – was he displaying signs of ’sensitivitiy’?  Or were they just bogan women who themselves had the sensitivity of a punch-drunk moron?  And what of the old couple following the lesbian couple who were daring to hold hands in public?  In effect, were they saying to each other, ‘Look at those freaky lezzo women?’  or ‘Why do they have to do that in public and shove our faces in it?’  Do either of these stories give a hint to what modern love – or sexuality, which are so closely related they’re almost the same thing – is all about in 2010, now that the infamous naughties are finished?

Based on the two stories presented above, my conclusion is that despite all the societal advances since the Second World War, we’ve not really pushed the whole issue of sexual diversity, expression and freedom that much forward at all.

The poll below is a start, but comment however you see fit…

You know how it is. I took a much needed hiatus after my last relationship.  The one I thought was “the one.”  I was excited for my best friend from So Cal. to meet him.  She and her husband were coming for the weekend  and we were meeting the b.f. for dinner.  I thought the evening went great and the reviews would be the same, but at the end of the night my girlfriend  looked at me and said “K, what are you doing?  “You’re dating your dad.”  As soon as the words left her mouth I knew she was right.

All the things about him  I didn’t like but that seemed so comfortable and familiar.  You know what I am talking about, the things you are so drawn to yet almost immediately work to change.  All the things I didn’t like about my dad, all the unfinished, unhealed pieces rolled up in one guy that I was totally crazy about.  And I do mean crazy.  I loved him but didn’t really like him that much. Sometimes I even resented him.  He was just being himself having no idea that a critical comment or observation he was making left me feeling like I was 6 or10 or some other point in my childhood when my father made a similar statement.  Back then I just filed it away someplace in my body, like an unwanted gift to be opened later, or never.  Well, I guess the time was now.  Ahhh, unfinished business, don’t you love it.

But this had been a long time coming.  I always knew I had “stuff”  with my dad.  His anger issues made me nervous and uneasy, he always was a bit grouchy and critical and negative.  He was definitely a “glass half empty kind of guy.   He wasn’t the type who was open to talking about this, or maybe it was me unwilling to talk to him about it. Yikes. . .scary.  So I did what I thought was the next best thing, I knew my issues with my dad were affecting my relationships so I got therapy. Many years, of therapy.  Got to some good stuff and felt clear and healed.  I no longer felt fear or resentment toward my dad. Or so I thought.

After my friend’s revelation, I had to admit that I had been dating my dad for years.  I went back through all of my significant relationships and yep, there it was, a pattern.  Uggg, I hate when that happens.   I had worked on all of this stuff for years, spent thousands of dollars in therapy. I thought I had healed my dad issues. I actually really liked him even.  I couldn’t  still have stuff to work out.

So what are these lessons?  Here’s my Ken doll theory of love.  Until you get clear about your “stuff,” you’ll keep attracting the same relationship. Even though your current guy has a different job, different hair, drives a different car, he’s the same guy. You think he’s different, but he has the same issues, “your issues”, that your last four boyfriends had.  It’s the same Ken doll, you just pop a new head on. This new guy is “totally new,” right? But the reason it didn’t work out ends up being the same reason the last one didn’t work out,and the one before him.  It just played out slightly differently.  This pattern keeps repeating for a reason, so you can see that this is your issue, your fear, your work you need to do.  Bottom line, it’s just the illusion of something different.  Hi Ken, it’s you again.   Give it some thought, maybe we can figure this out together.

Well I’ve got some work to do, wish me luck, I will keep you posted. xo- K

My two cents:  When you see a pattern pay attention, there are no coincidences.

——————————————

OMG. I remember the day I realized that I had married my dad. I was in therapy because I wanted to leave my marriage and like a good Catholic girl, felt totally guilty about it. He was the quintessential nice guy. Everybody loved him. Life of the party. Stable  career. Didn’t stay out all night,  didn’t cheat. And yet I felt that I would suffocated if I didn’t go. My therapist and I talked about how we base our beliefs of how relationships should work by studying our parents. I was mortified. Not only to realize that I was acting out my mother on a subconscious level (nooooooo!), but that I had chosen for my spouse someone who resonated with me on the same level as my dad. I never had sex with my husband again after that. It seemed so wrong on so many levels, I didn’t know where to start.

Harvel Hendrix has a wonderful book called Getting The Love You Want. It’s an amazing guide that looks at the architecture of a healthy, nurturing relationship, and also looks at the spiritual health of a couple. Hendrix describes four levels of romantic love. The first is the feeling is one of deja vu — like you’ve known each other forever. In a way, you have. You are each resonating to the feelings that this new person sparks in you that feel familiar to the feelings you felt from your original love objects: you parents. The next step is a feeling of  finding something you’ve been looking for. I call this the “oh there you are” syndrome.  We look and look for someone to make us feel the way we think love is supposed to feel. The third step is a feeling of completion, of wholeness. The final step is a feeling that you can’t imagine a life without this person who makes you feel this incredible love.  When you’re in the throes of these love steps, you are blissed out on romantic love. Endorphins are firing, you feel fully alive.

If you’re exceptionally lucky, you and your beloved maintain these wonderful feelings and you live happily ever after. The rest of us go down the slippery slope of disillusionment and pain of a breakup, and look for the lesson in the chaos so we can avoid that mess forever and ever, amen! But disillusionment is tricky. It’s sticky and seductive and its easy to get stuck there.

How about this. How about once your recognize your relationship pattern of choosing the overly critical person again and again, living out a Groundhog Day kind of romantic existence, you stop and sit with it. Maybe in addition to being highly critical, your dad has qualities that are good and noble and worthy.  You maybe want to jettison the critical guy, but maybe he’s loyal, or generous, or would slay dragons to protect his family. Those are qualities your dad has too. Maybe those are worth keeping on your “man of my dreams” list. Thanks for checking in! Love, C

My two cents: Every relationship is a gift and if you allow yourself to appreciate the good as well as the bad, it will bring you a step closer to the real deal.

.

In today’s New York Times, this week’s Modern Love column is sure to elicit some nods of recognition from shallow single people who completely support the author’s quest to meet an airline pilot.  And he had to be commercial and earning a decent living, too.

The author writes about how she was on a Match.com date and a man asked her about her job as a magazine editor, then just happened to pitch a story.  Well, two could play at that game, she decided.  If he could (she assumes) narrow prospective dates by career, why couldn’t she? 

Since pilots are HOT HOT HOT, she used pilot as a search term.  Unfortunately, it sometimes trapped vermin like a guy working on a television pilot.  Damn search engine!

Also:

I expanded my search to the surrounding states and found a first officer for a regional airline based in Phoenix. But in his response, he mentioned quitting the disintegrating world of commercial air travel to fly border patrols, which would pay him more than the whopping $19,000 a year he’d been earning.

Since when does a magazine editor scoff at the same salary she probably pays her assistant, and a salary that is likely $19,000 more than what their summer interns get for making copies and retrieving coffee eight hours a day?

We suspect that the Times sometimes runs these columns just for response.  They know that there is nothing redeeming in this woman’s quest, but they will get hundreds of angry comments about this woman’s choices.  (To be fair, they have also run some very sensitive and sensible pieces about everything from adoption to widowhood to the standard broken hearts).  But with this one, they want people to react.  And the flames will surely fulminate across the net today.

We know that there are people (particularly from Orange County, Calif.) who date and DO have these criteria, so maybe there is nothing wrong with one of them admitting it?

The author, Tiffany Hawk, was an editor for Coast [a magazine for Orange County, Calif., of course] and Preferred Destinations.  Did we say that staffers probably earned $19,000?  We probably overestimated.

Her photo on www.tiffanyhawk.com is quite fetching, so it’s no surprise she landed the pilot of her dreams.

We wonder if she realizes that if she’d been on Facebook on Christmas Eve she might have connected with a famous male novelist.

I was supposed to do a round-up on the best beats of 2009 last Saturday but I’m still waiting for a few Vinyl’s & Cd’s to show up, so gonna do it on next weeks show instead.

This show was more about digging out old classics and mixing them with a few newer things to keep it interesting.

New D&B in Hour 1 from the likes of Seba (remixing Polar), Consequence and Requeim aswell as modern classics from 2007 albums by Klute and Commix and not so modern classics from Ed Rush & Optical and Breakage (is it really 6 years since “So Vain” was released ???!)

In the second hour there’s recent material from Pendle Coven and A Made Up Sound on the house/techno tip and Instra:Mental and Martyn on the Dubstep front. Going back to 2007, I dug out personal faves from Omar S, Andy Stott and Kode 9 and travelling even further back I found B12’s (aka Redcell) 1996 album “Time Tourist” on Warp – classic techno from a production duo that recently resurfaced after a long haitus.



Future Beats with Code on Spin South West FM (Ireland) – Saturday Jan 9th 2010

Download or Stream Part 1—> http://www.divshare.com/download/10113814-700

Download or Stream Part 2 —> http://www.divshare.com/download/10113815-3d2

Tracklisting

Part 1 :
“High Voltage” (Seba Remix) - Polar // Warm Communications
“Synaesthesis” - Requeim // Outsider
“Postmodern” - Teebee, Form & Mike Engine // Engine Music
“174 BPM” - Klute // Commercial Suicide
“Titan” - Felix K // Hidden Hawaii
“New Cons” - Calibre // Exit
“So Vain” - Breakage // Bassbin
“Watermelon” - Ed Rush & Optical // Virus
“The Nomad” - Cycom // Syncopathic
“Strictly” - Commix // Metalheadz
“Metro” - Metro // Modern Urban Jazz
“Timbre” - Stray // Critical
“Long Lies” - Consequence // Exit

Part 2 :
“Chord Calculus” - Pendle Coven // Modern Love
“Psychotic Photosynthesis” - Omar S // FXHE
“Disconnect” - A Made Up Sound // Clone
“Handle With Care” - Andy Stott // Modern Love
“Scriptures” - Redcell // B12
“Dreams & Visions” (Instrumental) – Landslide // Black Acre
“Broken Dubstep” - Benga // Planet Mu
“Little Things” - Martyn // 3024
“Forbidden” – Instra:Mental // Apple Pips
“Basement” – Kloke // Entrada
“Den Of Drums” - Kode 9 vs Badawi // ROIR
“Ribbons” - Fourtet // Domino
“Cymbalon” - Max Waters // Blase

In what I’m sure is a shock to Brookstone, whose ‘massage wands’ arguably have been considered robotic sex toys for the past ten years, a scientist is saying that by the year 2011, sex robots will be a technological breakthrough we can all enjoy.

H+ Magazine has all the juicy (ew) details.

The writer raises the point that orgasms are apparently the cure for everything, and therefore, a physician will prescribe some artificial intelligence to help increase our longevity:

“Orgasms reduce stress, insomnia, heart attacks, migraines, depression, addictions, aches, pains, menstrual cramps, endometriosis, type-2 diabetes, cervical & urinary tract infections, and risk of prostate cancer, plus they improve the immune system, heart rate, blood pressure, brain chemistry, skin health, pelvic floor strength, and they clean out carcinogenic toxins.”

Geez, is there anything orgasms CAN’T DO?

I’ve always sensed sexual tension between Rosie and George Jetson.

The article goes on to explain that the climax is the key to a longer life and the fountain of youth, citing Dr. Michael Roizen, founder of RealAge.com, frequent Oprah guest and chair of Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Institute.

“…4-8 years of additional life can be garnered if we have 350-700 orgasms per year … Other studies report 2-3 orgasms per week can make us look 7-12 years younger.”

I’ve always wanted to look younger!

The article, while occasionally tongue in cheek, (ahem!) has interesting insights into how technology will evolve these androids in their skills and appearance, suggesting that they will be virtually indistinguishable from humans by the year 2050. (I hope I live that long!) Except unlike humans, they’ll maintain interest in having sex with you indefinitely.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy some vitamins. I can’t afford one of these things yet.

But Rosner does it, and the two, father and son, form a bond. And then he dies, but not before her ex-husband has said, “He is the most incredible child that has ever lived. Do you realize that?” It’s clear she’s given him a gift, and that her son, despite the pain of loss, has purely positive memories of his dad. Rosner doesn’t dwell on her own resentments, but it’s hard to believe that it’s not a difficult period for a mother who’s been abandoned and dealt with the day-to-day responsibilities of raising a baby alone. But as she says, “He walked away empty-handed, while I had Judah.” … She ends the essay with an exchange between her son and another small child who’s distressed at the thought that Judah’s father has died.”       from Jezebel

From Rosners essay,

A few hours later he reported that when he told the children what had happened, one volunteered that her grandmother had died. Another said he had a fish that died, a very old fish. The class agreed that Swimmy had been an old fish, too. And Judah said, “My daddy died.”

Later, another child approached Judah and asked in a worried voice, “Your daddy died?”

Judah nodded.

“Does that mean he’s not coming back?”

Judah put his hand on the other child’s shoulder. “Yes, but it’s O.K.,” he said. “I’m alive. You’re alive. Want to play?”

I found this book Sex and Sensibility: Ten Women Examine the Lunacy of Modern Love…In 200 Cartoons (Ed. by Liza Donnelly) at the Noe Valley library.  It was just hanging out on the shelf and I thought, hmm I’ll give it a try.
I loved reading the intro; a true (slightly academic, which was awesome) overview of the history of comics relating to love and sex and specifically addressing women’s place in that world.  I really enjoyed reading about all the early shakers and movers of humor (Marietta Holley, Francis Whitcher, Lou Rogers, Dorothy Parker, etc.) and I appreciate the time and effort of Donnelly’s research as it added much more depth to the entire collection.

There are five categories, each with their own introduction, (Sex, Sensibility, Women, Lunacy, Modern Love) and then of course the Introduction, Cartoonists bios, Credits and Acknowledgments.  I highly recommend this book and all of the listed people to anyone wanting a good laugh and a real jump start for their jaded hearts and lusty bodies.

Contributing artists: Roz Chast, Carolita Johnson, Ann
Telnaes, Kim Warp, Julia Suits, Marisa Acocella Marchetto, Barbara
Smaller, Victoria Roberts, Signe Wilkinson and Liza Donnelly.

Some good quotes from the book:

“Sex…it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark.” -Matt Groening

“Men are completely nuts.  Women can’t understand their behavior because men themselves have no clue as to what they are doing.” -Merrill Markoe

“Sex is God’s joke on human beings.” -Bette Davis

“Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath.  At night, the ice-weasels come.” -Matt Groening

“I just want to ridicule everything!” – Lucy talking to Charlie Brown, by Charles Schultz

“We are all sex-obsessed today, because there isn’t any decent group life left.” -W.H. Auden

And the Adam and Eve story as told by Barbara Smaller (p.206)

It is a long-suppressed biblical fact that the first joke ever heard was made in Garden of Eden by Eve.  It was yet another beautiful day in Paradise when Eve plucked a glossy apple from the Tree of Knowledge.  She took one bite, looked up, and spied Adam.  She took a second more generous bite and realized for the first time that Adam wasn’t wearing pants.  Eve made a remark and laughed.  Suddenly the sky darkened, there was crashing thunder and exploding lightning, clearly God was not pleased.  He expelled Eve from the garden and condemned her thereafter to pain in childbirth.  (He also granted her multiple orgasms, which proves that on one level he appreciates a good chuckle.)  Adam followed Eve out of the Garden like a little puppy dog.  Sadly, in all the commotion, he never got as much as a nibble of forbidden fruit.  Which is why, even today, men tend to be on the clueless side and skittish around funny women. -Barbara Smaller

[You can buy a lot of these comics here]

Water Rights Taken Over By U.S. Government

Barbara Minton
Natural News

Your right to eat healthy food and use supplements of your choice is rapidly vanishing, but every effort has been made to keep you in the dark about the coming nutricide. Codex Alimentarius is scheduled for full global implementation on December 31, 2009, and not a word has been spoken in main stream media about this threat to humanity. Yet, according to the projections of the World Health Organization (WHO) and the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), a minimum of 3 billion people will die from the Codex mandated vitamin and mineral guideline alone. As the clock ticks toward this irrevocable deadline, the Natural Solutions Foundation (NSF) and its medical director, Dr. Rima Laibow, are feverishly working to change Codex guidelines. They need your help.

Forner Nazi Hermann Schmitz "Control People Through Food Supply!"

In 1962, the timetable was set for Codex to be fully implemented on a global level by December 31, 2009. Under Codex, committees were established to create guidelines on such topics as fish and fisheries, fats and oils, fruits and vegetables, ground nuts, nutrition, food for specialized uses, and vitamins and minerals. There were 27 committees in all, creating a huge bureaucracy. Under Codex there are over 4,000 guidelines and regulations on everything that can be put into your mouth with the exception of pharmaceuticals which are not regulated by Codex.

Stop Codex

Codex is a weapon being used to reduce the level of nutrition worldwide

Codex is an industry dominated regulation setting organization, and as such has no legal standing. Participation in Codex is said to be voluntary. But Codex has risen to the level of de facto legal standing because Codex is administered by the WHO and FAO. They fund it and run it at the request of the UN. Since the WHO and FAO are supposed to be about health, there is conflict of interest. The committees of Codex work up guidelines, rules and regulations, and present them to a Codex commission for ratification. Once they are ratified and approved by consensus, they become mandatory for any country that is a member of the WHO.

World Trade Organization

Codex was accepted when the WTO was formed in 1994 as a means of harmonizing food standards globally for easy trade between countries. As a result, countries must harmonize with Codex if they want to have any standing in a trade dispute. When disputes arise and countries are pulled in to WTO, the one that is Codex compliant automatically wins, regardless of the merits of its case.

Dr. Laiblow sees codex as a weapon to make every nation scurry to become compliant to the decline in nutritional standards. She points out that compliance in the U.S. will mark the end of its consumer protection laws. Codex will not serve consumers. Codex will serve the interests of the medical, pharmaceutical, biotechnology, chemical, and big agricultural industries.

Codex: Fake Chemical Food with little nutrition.

Under Codex, nutrients are classified as poisons

The Dietary Substances Health and Education Act (DSHEA), was signed into law in 1994 for the purpose of ensuring that safe and appropriately labeled products would remain available to those who wanted to use them. In the findings associated with this law, Congress stated that there may be a positive relationship between sound dietary practice and good health, and a connection between dietary supplement use, reduced health-care expenses, and disease prevention. Under DSHEA, nutrients and herbs are classified as food. There is no upper limit set, and access is freely given. Americans are allowed to have any nutrients they want, because under English common law, anything that is not expressly forbidden is permitted.

Codex, on the other hand, is based on Napoleonic law under which anything not expressly permitted is forbidden. Therefore, only what is expressly allowed under Codex will be permitted, and everything else is forbidden. In 1994, the same year DSHEA was signed, Codex had nutrients declared to be toxic and poisonous. And as poisons, they claimed people must be protected from them through the use of toxicology and risk assessment, under which scientists test small doses on animals until they are able to discern an impact. They then take the first sign of the most minimal impact and divide this amount by 100 to establish a safety margin required from these poisons. This means that the largest dose of any nutrient allowed under Codex is 1/100th of the amount shown to produce the first discernable impact.

Nutrients allowed under codex are limited to those on the positive list, expected to contain only 18 nutrients, one of them being fluoride. Dr. Laibow points out that although fluoride has no biological benefit whatsoever, it does make people complacent.

The codex proponents now have several bills before Congress designed to overturn and get rid of DSHEA. Once this is accomplished, the U.S. will have been harmonized with the vitamin and mineral guidelines of codex. High potency, therapeutically effective, significant nutrients will then be illegal in the way that heroin is illegal. They will not even be available by prescription.

Codex supports toxic food additives, pesticides and GM foods

Codex poses a significant threat to the food supply, according to Dr. Robert Verkerk, founder and director of the Alliance for Natural Health. About 300 dangerous food additives that are mainly synthetic will be allowed under Codex, including aspartame, BHA, BHT, potassium bromate, tartrazine, and more. Dr. Verkerk is particularly concerned that no consideration has been given to potential risks associated with long-term exposure to mixtures of additives.

Codex sets limits for the dangerous industrial chemicals that can be used in food, but they are incredibly high, and the list of chemicals that can be used is long. In 2001, 176 countries including the U.S. got together and decided that 12 highly toxic organic chemicals, known as persistent organic pollutants (POPS) were so bad that they had to be banned. There are many more than 12 toxic chemicals used on food, but these 12 were unanimously declared to be the worst. Of these, 9 are pesticides.

Under Codex, 7 of the 9 forbidden POPS will again be allowed in the production of food. All together, Codex allows over 3,275 different pesticides, including those that are suspected carcinogens or endocrine disrupters. There is no consideration of the long-term effects of exposure to mixtures of pesticide residues in food.

Organic food governance will be dumbed down to suit the interests of large food producers. Various synthetic chemical additives and processing aids will be allowed, and food labeled as organic may be irradiated. Labeling will permit the use of hidden, non-organic ingredients.

Global Food Imperialism

Monsanto, a member of Codex, will benefit greatly as production of genetically modified (GM) foods are stepped up and more GM plants are given the green light. Terminator seeds will be approved for international trade. GM food animals will also be on the way.

Under Codex, every dairy animal can be treated with growth hormone, and all animals in the food chain will be treated with sub-clinical levels of antibiotics, according to Dr. Laibow. She claims that Codex will lead to the required irradiation of all foods with the exception of those grown locally and sold raw.

Dr. Laiblow sees Codex as “food regulations that are in fact the legalization of mandated toxicity and under-nutrition”. According to her, the WHO and FAO estimate that of the 3 billion people initially expected to die as the result of the Codex vitamin and mineral guidelines, 2 billion of them will die from the preventable diseases that result from under-nutrition, such as cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and many others. Those who will live will be the wealthy elites who are able to somehow provide themselves with sources of clean food and other nutrients.

Codex is legalized genocide

Dr. Gregory Damato, Ph.D., writing for Natural News, has characterized Codex as “population control for money”. He sees Codex as run by the U.S. and controlled by the big pharmaceutical corporations and the likes of Monsanto with the purpose of reducing the population of the world to a level considered sustainable by those promulgating the New World Order. This would mean a reduction of approximately 93 percent of the current world population.

Once Codex standards are adopted there will be no turning back. When Codex compliance is instigated in any area, as long as the country remains a member of the WTO, those standards cannot be repealed, or altered in any way.

Natural Solutions Foundation is working to revamp Codex guidelines worldwide

Some hope remains. Over the years, the WTO has accepted Codex standards as presumptive evidence of the rules of trade between countries. However, several times in history, the WTO has refused to make Codex the single and only standard to be used in trade disputes. Under Codex’s own statutes, their guidelines are claimed to be “advisory”, and nations are able to set up their own guidelines.

Since compliance with Codex standards is simply presumptive evidence, and not finally determinative, a nation can opt out of the guidelines in an effort to protect its traditional foods and remedies. The Codex Two Step is a legal strategy that the Natural Solutions Foundation has developed to help nations wanting to do this. Under Step One, the country develops its own food and health guidelines that may be at variance with Codex guidelines. For example, it may be much stricter on the issues of toxins in the food supply or on the issue of genetically modified foods. It may require, for example, that companies using GM ingredients be required to indicate them on food labels. In countries that refuse to use GM foods, this can be indicated on their label too, so that people can make informed choices.

So, the first step is for a country to set up its guidelines. The Second Step is to adopt a national law that implements those guidelines on a sound scientific basis. The NSF is preparing models to be used for doing this that are available to any country. There is a model vitamin and mineral guideline, and a model of a food and health statute to implement that guideline.

Normally, in a trade dispute before the WTO, the country that has adopted Codex guidelines will be the winner of that dispute based on those guidelines being presumptive evidence. However, when countries have gone through the two step process to create their own guidelines, there is no such presumption, and the WTO will look at the science behind the guidelines.

FDA is open to Codex!

In the U.S. the door is open to Codex

In 1995, the FDA issued a policy statement saying that international standards such as Codex would supersede U.S. laws governing all food. Under the Central American Free Trade Agreement, which is illegal under current U.S. law, but is legal under international law, the U.S. is required to conform to Codex as it stands on December 31, 2009.

This is why NSF needs your help. Because the current pro-Codex stance of the U.S. is in violation of current laws, NSF has created a Citizen’s Petition in which they are asking the U.S. government to amend its Codex position according to the Two Step plan that Codex allows. This petition is a ground-breaking legal approach to compel the government to hold public hearings and move from a pro-illness Codex position to a pro-health position. If the government does not respond in an appropriate manner, the next step in the process is to take them to court.

A Citizen’s Petition is a legal means to focus a government agency’s attention on an issue of concern to citizens. Once a Citizen’s Petition has been entered, a docket to debate it is opened and public comment is accepted. A Citizen’s Petition does have one thing in common with the more familiar types of petitions. Any number of people can add their names to it and become co-petitioners.

So far, over 30,000 people have joined this petition, and three members of Congress have written a Congressional Letter in support of it. NSF needs you to read and sign this petition by going tohttp://www.healthfreedomusa.org/?pa… On this site you will also find a letter that can be sent to the U.S. Codex Manager, Dr. Edwin Scarbrough, and Dr. Barbara Schneeman, Head of the FDA’s Office of Nutritional Products.

Dr. Liabow is encouraging people to pass the word about Codex to everyone they know or with whom they come in contact. As a reader of Natural News, you are in the forefront of knowledge regarding health standards and the need to safeguard them. You are probably someone who others look to for advice on health matters. As such, you are in a special position to help this petition move forward. The new guidelines created by NSF have mandated biochemically individual determination of optimal health. These guidelines need to be adopted by Congress and also by other countries who value their traditional foods and remedies.

When Dr. Laibow was recently working in Washington D.C. to inform the members of Congress about Codex, she found that very few of them knew anything about it all. As they have become informed, some have come out against Codex. This makes writing to your congressmen on this issue critically important. Tell they about the threat of Codex. Suggest that they need a congressional briefing on the issue and suggest that they contact Dr. Rima Laibow. Remember, any negative part of Codex can be overturned by a guideline that is positive.

And while you at it, be sure to sign the Health Revolution Petition, created by Mike Adams, editor of Natural News http://www.healthrevolutionpetition… This petition highlights a series of actions critically needed to move from a disease care model to a true health care model with the goal of restoration and perpetuation of vibrant health for everyone.

For more information:
http://www.naturalnews.com/024128_C…
http://www.healthfreedomusa.org/
http://www.anhcampaign.org/

Manimal has announced the tracks that will be included on this year’s David Bowie compilation, the profits from which will be donated to War Child UK. It will feature our version of “Modern Love.” We’re excited about this one.

1. EXITMUSIC “Space Oddity”
2. VIVIAN GIRLS “John, I’m Only Dancing”
3. MEGAPUSS (Devendra Banhart) “Sound + Vision” (en espanol)
4. CARLA BRUNI “Absolute Beginners”
5. LIGHTS “World Falls Down”
6. VOICESVOICES “Heroes”
7. DURAN DURAN “Boys Keep Swinging”
8. MGMT “tba”
9. CHAIRLIFT “Always Crashing in the Same Car”
10. ASKA w/ MOON & MOON “African Night Flight”
11. A PLACE TO BURY STRANGERS “Suffragette City”
12. POLYAMOROUS AFFAIR “Theme From Cat People”
13. KEREN ANN “Life on Mars”
14. SWAHILI BLONDE (feat. John Frusciante) “Red Money”
15. MARCO BENEVENTO “Art Decade”
16. CORRIDOR “Be My Wife”
17. AQUASERGE “The Supermen”
18. WARPAINT “Ashes to Ashes”
19. RAINBOW^ARABIA “Quicksand”
20. WE ARE THE WORLD “Afraid of Americans”
21. LACO$TE “Within You”
22. ARIANA DELAWARI “Ziggy Stardust”
23. PIZZA! “Modern Love”
24. ST CLAIR BOARD “Secret Life of Arabia”
25. CAROLINE WEEKS “Starman”
26. AMANDA JO WILLIAMS “The Man Who Sold the World”
27. MICK KARN “Ashes to Ashes”
28. SOULWAX “tba”