Moe, Curly, and Larry try to raise $830,000 to save their childhood orphanage.

If you asked me who were the greatest comic troupes ever, I’d tell you the Marx Brothers, the Monty Python gang, and the Three Stooges.  The Three Stooges has been funny to me my entire life.  I remember watching them when I was a few years old, and laughing out loud at their hilarious slapstick humor.  And still today I love them.  In fact, my most anticipated thing for New Year’s day isn’t the ball dropping down or the resolutions.  It’s The Three Stooges marathon on AMC.

Some critics dislike their humor, and call it dumb, and would wondering why I would consider the Stooges to be in the same ranks as the Marx Brothers or Monty Python.  Maybe it’s because I saw them on an early age, but I’ve always loved their humor.  Despite their constant fighting and eye-poking, the Stooges really did care for each other.

So my first reaction when I heard the Farrelly brothers were planning a Three Stooges movie, my thoughts were negative.  The Farrelly brothers do a lot of slapstick, but to a really low-IQ.  I thought they’d make it like a sequel to Dumb and Dumber.

But what really surprised me was that I actually did like The Three Stooges.  Maybe it’s because I went in the movie theater expecting to hate it, but I actually did laugh a considerable amount of time.

I’ll have to give credit to Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, and Chris Diamantopoulos, who do make good Stooges.  The casting before had called for actors like Benicio del Toro, Sean Penn, Hank Azaria, Johnny Knoxville, and Jim Carrey as the Stooges, but the Farrellys wisely picked three smaller actors instead. I just can’t see Sean Penn as one of the Stooges.

The story starts with the Three Stooges, as babies, being thrown into an orphanage (founded in 1934, a reference to the original formation of the Stooges).  The Mother Superior of the orphanage (Jane Lynch) accepts them in, but the boys get on the other nuns, particularly Sister Mary Mengele (Larry David, yes I’m being serious, and he’s good too).

The Stooges grow up to 35 still living with the nuns, and discover that the orphanage will grow broke due to the economy.  So Moe, Curly, and Larry decide to raise the $830,000 necessary to save the orphanage.

During their travels, the Stooges get involved in a murder plot against a millionaire, who was a former friend at the orphanage and actually has a close relationship with Moe, and even make it to reality television.  During this, the Stooges push a man in front of a bus, nearly kill a dolphin, jump off a hospital, play with peeing babies, and do those famous Stooges gags (eye poking, sound effects, etc.).

The film is divided into three segments, a smart decision since the original Three Stooges films were shorts.  And the film’s not that long either, only 92 minutes.

Listen, I liked the film more than I probably should.  The story isn’t that original (the saving the orphanage was already done in The Blues Brothers), but the film does retain much of the humor of the original Stooges, not quite as great but good enough.

Their are some relentless cheesy parts the film could have done without, such as a very small sub-plot involving a few kids at the orphanage.  Plus, there was some of the Farrellys’ usual gags.  But overall the movie was pretty funny.  I would have preferred a biopic and would recommend watching the original Stooges instead, but hey, it’s good and it’s funny.  Maybe I’m saying this as a Stooge fan, but I think you’ll get at least a few nyuk nyuks out of it.

The original Stooges in their film debut, "Soup to Nuts"

HOLLYWOOD

FACT: The Three Stooges were founded by a vaudeville performer named Ted Healy – a man who ended up being beaten to death in 1937 outside a Hollywood nightclub. It was a shocking crime that has never been solved, although allegations have surfaced in recent years the beating was ordered by a studio head, and carried out by three assailants – who might have included an Academy Award winning actor and a legendary producer of James Bond films.

What really happened? Read on.

In the early 1950s, in television’s infancy, I used to watch Stooges movies. They were hysterically funny, I thought.

Then, one day, after seemingly endless reruns of the Stooges, they were gone from TV. No explanation. A few years later, however, the Stooges were back on TV. But something was different. These idiots weren’t funny; they were just stooges.

“Who are these morons?” I asked my mom. “Where did the funny ones go?” She, like most folks, didn’t know.

They didn’t even look like the same guys.

Turns out they weren’t.

Ted Healy & his Stooges (1925)

In the early days of television, movies had to be at least 10 years old (or older) to be shown on the tube. Hollywood was afraid this new-fangled TV thing would put them out of business. So, in the few hours a day that TV was even on, the morning hours were filled with 1930s fare – grainy black-and-white early talkies, serials and shorts – singing cowboys, Busby Berkeley musicals, the Little Rascals, and Ted Healy‘s Stooges.

Healy started the Stooges vaudeville act in 1922, and toured the country with them, ending up on Broadway in New York. They started making movies in 1930. From the beginning there were lawsuits over who owned the rights to the stooges. Cast members came and went. More lawsuits came and went. Healy lost a few, but generally won more than he lost. Even his own Stooges sued him.

Ted Healy near the end

From all accounts, Healy was a funny guy onstage, and very popular with audiences (he made 37 films) but a hard-drinking jerk in real life. He had no shortage of enemies, and he was constantly moving from one studio to another – often with a trail of lawsuits in his wake. It all came to an end in December 1937 outside the notorious Hollywood hangout, the Trocadero, where Healy was severely beaten by “three college kids”. (Actress Thelma Todd had died mysteriously precisely two years earlier after a night at the Troc.)

Healy died a short time later; the official cause was variously reported as a head injury, a heart attack or kidney failure. The death of Healy, a rich man whose fortune went missing when he died, remained clouded in mystery for decades.

Wallace Beery, "The Champ" 1931

In 2004, a controversial book, “The Fixers” by E. J. Fleming, alleged a studio head had ordered some thugs to beat the crap out out of Healy. The enmity may have had its roots in the Stooges’ move from MGM to Columbia. Anyway, another lawsuit was filed, Healy won and perhaps a sore loser was the result.

It is alleged Academy Award-winning actor Wallace Beery was one of the assailants, along with Albert “Cubby” Broccoli and a cousin, Pat DiCicco. Broccoli went on to produce the popular James Bond films; DiCicco would gain renown as a gangster, and as Gloria Vanderbilt‘s first husband.

I also used to watch Wallace Beery films from the early 1930s, but then he vanished from the tube even more completely than the Stooges. I can’t remember the last time I saw a Wallace Beery film (his filmography is here). Make your own judgment, but the career of this acclaimed actor pretty much went in the toilet following Ted Healy’s death. After that, Beery disappeared – reappearing in Europe months later. His studio, MGM, reportedly exiled him there.

The Stooges, as I first knew them, had acrimoniously split from Healy in 1934 (they were never called “The Three Stooges” during their time with Healy; in fact sometimes there were two “Stooges”, sometimes as many as four). They went on to make a series of films for Columbia, 1935-1941, that are considered by film historians to be among their best works. After that, the quality of their films began to slip; the performers grew old and infirm; the cast of characters constantly changed. At least nine different actors have “Stooge” on their resume. Moe Howard was the one constant, appearing as a Stooge from their formation in 1922 to his death in 1975.

Hard to tell which Stooges the Farrelly brothers were channeling in their 2012 movie version of “The Three Stooges“. The movie isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

But I still remember Healy’s original Stooges as the best.

Jerry Garrett

April 14, 2012

I grew up with the Three Stooges. Hardly a day went by when before after homework I sat down in front of the television and watched the antics of Moe, Larry, Curly and the often forgotten Stooge Shemp.  Their brand of physical comedy and hysterical puns, gags and jokes was masterful While I enjoyed other greats that produced comedy shorts the Stooges in my mind were always the best.

I have been reading about the new Three Stooges movie produced by the Farrelly brothers for quite some time and have been looking forward to seeing it. Now I had my doubts that anyone could pull off a new version of the Stooges and be true to them and their comedic legacy, but the Farrelly brothers and the three actors that played the Stooges, Chris Diamantopoulos (Moe), Sean Hayes (Larry) and Will Sasso (Curly) not only pulled it off but provided a very fitting tribute to the Stooges.

I will not give away any spoilers because I thought the movie was just too funny. The three actors that played the Stooges did them justice, I especially liked Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe. Of the other actors I loved Craig Bierko who played the hapless villain “Mac” and Larry David who played the wicked and equally hapless “Sister Mary Mengele.” Both were brilliant. Jennifer Hudson played a sweet “Sister Rosemary” and Brian Doyle Murray had a memorable appearance as Monsignor Ratliffe.

There was only one place in the movie where I didn’t think the physical humor worked as well as it should have but mostly it was something that I could imagine the original Stooges doing. That was what made it so good. These Stooges reminded me of Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard and I think that the boys would be proud.

Peace

Padre Steve+

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. Next week is Holy Week. Passover starts Friday, which is also Good Friday. A week from Palm Sunday is Resurrection Sunday, aka Easter. A very spiritual time in the life of Christians.

Here’s my confession–Even with angels singing all around us this time of year, I’m going to tell you about my love for the Three Stooges.

(That’s right. Today I’m as deep as a mud puddle.)

What’s not to like about the Stooges? Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard. Moe and Curly were brothers. And they were funny! My friends and I loved watching them after school. They made 190 short films, each one stupider than the one before. Gotta love a group who’ll act like that to entertain kids. (And adults who are kids at heart. My man laughs out loud when he watches them!)

When the shows stopped having Curly in them and started having Shemp, my friends and I were really sad. But one of our moms told us Curly had been dead a long time and we were watching reruns.

After Curly died, Shemp Howard (also his brother) took over. Shemp died next (that must have been a hard-on-the-actor job) so they hired Joe Besser who was replaced by Joe DeRita. Emil Sitka was the last man to take the third man spot.

With the Stooges, most people either love them or hate them. There’s not much gray area when it comes to slapstick fun. They made a show once where Moe played Hitler (I’ll Never Heil Again) and another where they were Civil War spies. So funny!

My favorite Stooges show has always been the one about the haunted suit of armor. The guy in the armor had peeked at Lady Godiva when she rode buck naked on a buckskin through town, even though everyone had been ordered not to look. As punishment, his spirit was sentenced to live in that suit of armor for 300 years. (I don’t remember how many years, but that sounds right.)

In the end, Lady Godiva rides up, the suit of armor hops onto the horse behind her and they ride into the sunset. And no. She’s not carrying a can opener.

Do you hate ’em or love ‘em? If you love ‘em, what’s your fav?

Peter and Bobby Farrelly

My guess is that Elly will say “Let’s stay home.”

Related articles

• The Final Trailer For The Three Stooges Is HERE! (perezhilton.com)
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• THE THREE STOOGES – Incredibly Unfunny International Trailer (geektyrant.com)
• Another Fine Mess Called A New THE THREE STOOGES International Trailer (thepeoplesmovies.com)

My younger brother and I about to get even with Moe for calling us lunkheads—it takes one to know one.

I didn’t fully appreciate the legacy I was born into until I was much older.  Being brought up around showbiz celebrity can make the experience seem less special.  When I was young, I never thought of my grandfather as a Stooge, especially as he always combed his hair back when he wasn’t on camera.  Now I’m a big fan of those legends of lunacy, those sultans of slapstick, realizing just how unique they really are, and how lucky I was (and am) to be a part of it, no matter how small.

Moe’s Corner

Mo’ Moe anecdotes to come…

I’ve been a fan of theirs my entire life. In fact, I know an astonishing amount of Stooge trivia and history. I remember the multiple inaccuracies of Mel Gibson’s 2000 film about the legendary comedy trio, so I was slightly hesitant to watch the trailer last year.

It actually looks good. And the actors portraying Moe, Larry and Curly actually resemble their real counterparts.

Judge for yourself.

Above: the actors in the forthcoming movie.
Below: the real deal.

Yep, Moe of the Three Stooges was my grandfather (the sourpuss in the middle if you don’t know). For those who haven’t heard of these three wacky wise guys, the Stooges hit the silver screen with their vaudeville act in the 1930s and together made 200 theatrical shorts for Columbia Studios. With their earlobe-pulling, nose-twisting brand of slapstick comedy, they left audiences cracking up as the Stooges poked fingers and fun at the uppity elites of society. They’ve been popular ever since proving that comedy is immortal—and that you can get walloped over the head with a pipe wrench and live to laugh about it.

Moe’s Corner

I don’t like it when greedy producers try to reboot something that was good from the start, and ruin it (my classic thoughts on the Scooby-Doo series were nearly ruined by the movie), but the Peter and Bobby Farelly, the directors of the film, seem confident.  And Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes, and Will Sasso make good Stooges, while Larry David’s appearance as Nun Mary Mengale.

I have high hopes for the film, which revolves around the Stooges solving a murder mystery.  But kudos for Moe poking Snookie’s eyes.

I think I’ll stick with the original shorts.

From The Good Folks At SpoilerTV:

“For those of you that did not know, The Farrelly Brothers are making The Three Stooges movie with Sean Hayes as Larry, Chris Diamantopoulos as Moe, and Will Sasso as Curly.”

“The Three Stooges” hits theaters in 2012.

Pressure to Perform

Lauren Bacall’s Lauren Bacall: By Myself & Patti Smith’s Just Kids

Prior to Patti Smith’s Just Kids, in 1980, Lauren Bacall’s autobiography Lauren Bacall: By Myself, also earned a National Book Award. Both publications articulately celebrate, not just the artistry that made these ladies famous, but also the intimate relationships surrounding their growth — for Smith it was with Mapplethorpe, for Bacall, Bogart. Following the acclaim, Smith is now hard at work on her next memoir. Hopefully, the title will be more creative than Bacall’s sequel: Lauren Bacall: By Myself and Then Some.

Close Encounters

Shirley Maclaine’s Out on a Limb & Sammy Hagar’s Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock

It seems surprising that a memoir with the word “uncensored” in the title would be so, well, censored. According to The Guardian, Hagar admittedly wanted to talk more about his alien encounters, but ghost writer, Joel Selvin, advised otherwise — “He’d be like, ‘Aw, people don’t want to hear that shit’.” Really? We don’t? A certain someone must have forgotten about Shirley Maclaine, who, in 1983 won her first Oscar and also garnered attention for a pretty little ditty called Out on a Limb, making not just UFOs, but reincarnation and trance-channelling, popular topics across Middle America.

Prematurely Popular

Drew Barrymore’s Little Girl Lost & Justin Bieber’s Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever

Before 16-year-old Justin Bieber could share his life struggles and torrid shortcomings: failing a driving test and the heavy rage of disappointment that followed, there was Little Girl Lost: 14-year-old Drew Barrymore’s tale of dusty cocaine nights and Studio 54 slumber parties. Penned with ghostwriter Todd Gold, Barrymore’s premature autobiography interestingly explores not just the actor’s addiction, but how this talented young lady truly came into her own– by divorcing herself from a toxic lifestyle, which included her parents, a legal move she discovered, ironically, on the set of Irreconcilable Differences.

Slapstick & Sucka-Punches

Moe Howard’s Moe Howard and The Three Stooges & Steve-O’s Professional Idiot

The Three Stooges’ antics, considered low-brow in the 1934, but warmly revered as classic gold in 2011, set a high standard for all future knuck-knucks. Moe Howard’s autobiography, published posthumously in 1977, is no different. This fan-favorite lovingly shares yesteryear memories — photos of vaudeville, on-set injuries, and the whole gang of comedic brothers– with a touch of triumphant honesty. Perhaps in 2050, the same nostalgia will be felt for the cast of Jackass and Steve-O’s recent memoir, Professional Idiot. Only time and cultural relevance will tell.

I’m So Not Finished

Sidney Poitier’s various titles & Keith Richards’ Life

Some celebrity memoirs are so generous in length they give the term “tell all” a new meaning. Sidney Poitier’s epic trilogy includes This Life (1980), The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography (2000) and most recently, Life Beyond Measure: Letters to My Great-Granddaughter (2008)  – a title that carries the familiar dignity of the previous ones, perhaps with a slightly ghostly, disembodied feel. The last two books, if read all at once, clock in at 576 pages — the exact same length as rock star/survivor Keith Richards’ recent tome, Life (2011). FYI Sid and Keith — the longest memoir ever recorded is the 2,359 page Grove Press Edition of My Secret Life penned by Anonymous.

Muscles & Musings

Mr. T: The Man with the Gold & Hulk Hogan’s My Life Outside the Ring

Mr. T and Hulk Hogan who tag teamed it up in WrestleMania I, have each entered the ring of beefcake prose. Hogan’s most recent post-divorce memoir, My Life Outside the Ring (2009) focuses briefly on his winning wrestling days, then — whoa — nosedives into TMI-mania with details of infidelity, alcoholism, and what reads as an awkward apology for his son’s car accident which left the passenger, his son’s friend, permanently handicapped. The jacket cover alone of Mr. T: The Man with the Gold is a sharp contrast. The vintage photograph captures Mr. T at the height of his popularity, wrapped in gold chains and sporting his iconic Mandinka mohawk, his right hand curled in a confident, “okay.” A look back at this well-reviewed gem where Mr. T gruffly preaches the importance of being in touch with your roots and your conscience, makes you pity the fool who waited too long to write his memoirs.

S/he’s My Creation

Kit Culkin’s I Don’t Think So: Confessions of the Stage Father From Hell and Kay McConaughey’s I Amaze Myself!

Nineties child star Macaulay Culkin’s notorious stage dad, Kit Culkin penned the tell-all, I Don’t Think So: Confessions of the Stage Father From Hell. Currently unavailable in print, we can only assume it’s just what the title suggests. Quite creepy and notable is Papa Culkin’s follow up, Lost Boy — personal impressions of Michael Jackson, formed during the pop star’s friendship with Macaulay. A sunnier title in the “S/he’s My Creation” subgenre includes, I Amaze Myself! (2008) written by Matthew McConaughey’s mother and retired kindergarten teacher, Kay McConaughey. Styled as a self-help book, chapters such as “I Get Happy Easy,” “Listen, Listen, Listen,” and “You Always Have a Choice” are full of peppy insights like this: “I make my own happiness. Example: Playing golf and not having a good score. When this happens, I give myself permission to tear up the scorecard. It’s a game, and I’m not going to let it beat me down.”

A Story of Love, Loss and a Third Thing

Susan Ryan Jordan’s The Immune Spirit: A Story of Love, Loss and Healing, Natalie Cole’s Love Brought Me Back: A Story of Loss and Gain, and Portia De Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain

One thing Hollywood loves better than a good story, is a good formula. Crack open The Immune Spirit: A Story of Love, Loss and Healing and meet Susan Ryan Jordan — a woman who claims to have expected her 1979 breast cancer diagnosis. This self-effacing memoir is also brushed with Jordan’s regret over the estrangement of her superstar daughter, Meg Ryan. Will they reconcile? Almost as a double bill, the 2010 holiday season produced two nearly identical celebrity memoir titles. Perfect as stocking stuffers, Natalie Cole’s Love Brought Me Back: a Story of Loss and Gain and Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain hit shelves within days of each other. What’s lost? What’s gained? Get the peanut brittle.

I will never forget the night I first laid eyes on him. I was waiting tables at a chain style restaurant with a 50′s theme that stayed open late to accommodate the “last call” crowd. It was my “spending money” job. Tips weren’t that great but then it didn’t require a lot of brain power and I didn’t spend much. They gave you two choices for uniform, Sandy or Rizzo. I was definitely not the poodle skirt type back then so my choice was Rizzo all the way. Usually I wore black spandex pants or skirt, (Arizona is too hot for anything remotely resembling leather) white button down shirt with rolled sleeves, a red chiffon neck scarf and black motorcycle boots. Ok, so the boots were a break from the theme but they were mine, comfortable and I wore them religiously. They were my rebellion against high heels and gave me a sense of toughness I desperately needed in my younger days. I still have the bag I carried all my junk around in that said “what would you do?” on one side with “I’d ban high heels and teach the world to groove” on the other. I love that bag. The cool thing about being Rizzo is it gave you a certain amount of freedom to screw with people and flirt with the guys that a poodle skirt just did not encourage. Occasionally it even increased your tips to give people a hard time. At two am, after standing on my feet cutting hair all day and slinging hash all night, I really appreciated this strange phenomenon. You want sarcasm with that burger, you’ve come to the right place.

I had a small group of 3 guys that would always request my table. I was happy to have them. They, unlike the majority of our late nighters, were always sober. They were bouncers from a nightclub around the corner and fabulous tippers. Keep their drinks full and flirt a little bit and we all went home happy. So this one unusually slow Friday night, Larry, Moe and Curly, as I affectionately referred to them, came strutting in to get their midnight snacks. I am terrible with names. I couldn’t then and still can’t tell you what any of their names were. Believe me they gave the Three Stooges a run for their money in the juvenile department, so the names stuck. I wasn’t busy so I grabbed some menus and headed over to greet and seat them. Moe, because he was the ring leader, not because he resembled the “real” Moe, picked me up in a bear hug and spun me around until I was dizzy. He thought the part where I had to grab onto him to keep from falling was particularly funny. I was not as delighted by it as he was but it was much more preferrable than a drunken slap on the behind.

“Hey little darlin, what’s shakin’ “? he said as I waited for my head to clear. “Nuthin til now you big lug, but thanks to you my head is spinning.” I replied with a little jab to his oh so fabulously muscled bicep. Goodness but that man had an incredible body. Cute too, think Jon Bon Jovi in Mr. Universe form. He was too childish for my taste but a welcome distraction to look at. “You want your usual table big guy”? I asked with a grin. “You know it sweet cheeks”. He said with a wink and a glance to my backside making it very clear he didn’t mean the ones on my face. “Up here dude, up here”, I said making a circling motion at the level of my eyes. “I’m sorry sweet cheeks, I was a little distracted, did you say something”? he replied grinning from ear to ear. “Brother”, I moaned. “Can’t you guys keep him on a leash”?, I whined to Larry and Curly.

And that is when it happened. I looked in their direction and discovered that standing right behind them was the most beautiful man I had ever seen up close and personal. He was about 6’4″, muscular but not in a body builder sense. His skin was light tawny brown and he had a wide open face that was both friendly and guarded. His eyes were large, almond-shaped, the color of finely aged whiskey. He had just the very beginning of tiny laugh lines around the outside of them that made you question whether he really was as intimidating as his overall persona indicated. Those deep, soulful eyes drew you in, made you want to take a step just a little closer to him, dare to find out what would happen if you ventured into his personal space. I remember thinking that if I kept looking into them I would lose myself completely. I also remember not caring. He had a full Fu Manchu going on that added to the tough guy image he was putting out but even that was betrayed by the most adorable, almost shy, little boy grin. It was the only hair on his head, the rest was clean, shaved completely. I had first thought this was yet another addition to the carefully cultivated persona but later learned it was out of insecurity over a prematurely receding hairline. He unnerved me completely. Never, ever,  trust a first impression that takes your breath away.