30% decrease in adoption rates after this movie's release.

Spoiler alert!
Jen found out she’s not a kid.
Whoa! She’s thirty-three?!

“The information!”
We screamed at the tv set.
Call could’ve saved dad.

The first poster has been released for Iron Man 2, nothing much really on the poster . . . guess its more of a teaser poster than anything else. No names on it . . . not even the title just a number 2.

This is definitely a movie I am looking forward to in 2010.

Who else is looking forward to this movie?

I looks like War Machine will be in the new Iron man sequel. I guess Terrence Howard really does have something to be upset about! It seems Don Cheadle got lucky as the Iron Man 2 poster which was just unveiled today at Yahoo Movies shows Iron Man and War Machine back to back. Personally I get pretty annoyed when sequels arrive with new actors replacing others from the previous movies. Since Terrence Howard will always hold a special place in my heart for his perfromance in Hustle & Flow, one of the best movies ever, I am still a bit annoyed he was replaced. Either way we’ll see how Iron Man 2 turns out so far it’s looking like a pretty decent follow up to a movie that I had originally had pretty low expectations for. Lets hope Iron Man 2 lives up to all the hype…

Excited for this movie, I really liked the first one, a little bit upset about Rhodes being replaced, but whatever. Robert Downey Jr. plays a convincing drunk.

A fun interesting fan made concept poster has been let loose on the interwebs for the Stephen Spielberg horror classic Jaws. It is pretty cool and I think you would probably agree with me.

Ohhh ho man, this is awesomeness at its finest. They have revealed Mr. War Machine and boy does this look sexy. Iron Man 2 opens May 7, 2010. The film is still directed by Jon Favreau and stars Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson, Don Cheadle, Sam Rockwell, and Gwyneth Paltrow. This poster is awesome!

OHMYGOD. Only 10 days, 21 hours, 37 minutes, and 56 seconds until it’s released in the UK (well, the day that it’s released).

That is all I have to say.

Jenn

Following the release of New Moon last week, and how successful at the box office it has been so far, the teaser poster for the next installment in the Twilight Saga . . . Eclipse has been released.

After waiting so long for even one poster for Nine, yet another has been released! Which I think is just great, the world premiere for Nine is in London next week on the 3rd of Decemeber. So it will be interesting to see which of the actors/actresses attend the premiere.

Three posters have now been released for “Nine”. This really builds up the suspense of wanting to see this movie even more. I like all three of them, as they are all different, with different pictures of the actors on them.

brutally ugly
genetic mutant bastard,
like lady gaga

OK, there’s much to discuss. First, it stars Jan-Michael Vincent (“Airwolf”, y’all!). Second, it’s directed by Fred Olen Ray, who directed Star Slammer, 13 Erotic Ghosts, and Invisible Mom 2.  He also created gay vampire dramas “Dante’s Cove” and “The Lair” (mystyron = #1 fan).

The first 45 minutes of “Alienator” had us reaching for the FFWD button. I mean, there were some high points, including everything being perfectly reasonable:

Business casual, in space.

…but it was otherwise a lot of glaring and glowering about a space prison. In short, a notorious space criminal (we can tell he’s a space criminal because he has a silver ski vest and matching headband) makes it to Earth, and holes up with some unsuspecting Earthlings in a cabin in the woods. We were mere SECONDS from hitting the Eject button when this vision of love made her first appearance:

I know, right?

Looking like a late-era He-Man action figure, here comes ALIENATOR.

Alienator, or Ziggy Stardust crossed with an auto parts store.

By the way, the tagline for the movie is: “In deep space, the deadliest animal is still woman”.

The metal underpants? The thighs the size of stout German children? It's all too much to bear.

So, who is Alienator? Musclelady Teagan Clive, who is taking up space in the back of your brain as the bodybuilder in David Lee Roth’s video for “California Girls”. There’s not much on her imdb page, except for her biography, which is composed of one sentence. Please, meditate on this:

She made headlines when she showed up for a bodybuilding competition that had been canceled without her realizing it until after she entered the arena.

I wish I could deliver on the promise of that headline, but none of this week’s opening movies go anywhere near that level of lunacy.   Instead we get lovesick vampires, alien astronauts, inspiring athletes, and Nick Cage.  Now that I think about it, if anyone is going to deliver some over-the-top ridiculousness it would be Cage playing a half-corrupt, half-addict cop in Werner Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).  So, does Cage bring the crazy?

“Cage dives headlong into the madness. It’s plain fun to see the actor give himself so fully to a character after several years of mostly forgettable action movies” Jake Coyle Associated Press

Good news.  It’s a shame that this movie has the aroma of being a forgettable action flick.

“No one is better at this kind of performance than Nicolas Cage. He’s a fearless actor. He doesn’t care if you think he goes over the top. If a film calls for it, he will crawl to the top hand over hand with bleeding fingernails.” Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

“If there’s a sure thing in movies, it’s that if you cast Nicolas Cage in a role in which he goes crazy, he’ll rise to the occasion and keep on rising until he seems even loonier than his character.” New York Magazine David Edelstein

I sincerely hope that one day, Nicolas Cage is honored with a William T Shatner Over-The-Top Award for Over-Acting.  I also hope they read Ebert’s ‘bleeding fingernails’ quote at the ceremony.

“The film is offbeat, silly, disarming and loopy all at the same time, and viewers will decide to ride with that or just give up on it, according to mood and disposition.” Variety Todd McCarthy

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the Mood Movie!  It’s only as good as you feel when you watch it. Please, drink responsibly (before, during, and after the show).

“Those expecting a return to the depravity and menace of Abel Ferrara’s 1992 notorious original will be disappointed.” Premiere Mark Salisbury

The notorious original

When people look back at the original and fondly remember depravity and menace, well, maybe we just shouldn’t look back.  And speaking of sequels, tween girls have already united to make Twilight Saga: New Moon (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic) the biggest pre-sold movie ticket of all time (at least until the next one comes out).  I saw the first one and was somewhat underwelmed, is it too much to hope that I will be welmed by the sequel?

“This is a film for the fans. Fans of the books. Fans of the first film. If you enjoyed that, you’ll enjoy this. If you didn’t, you have no chance here. It’s a New Moon, not a new dawn.” Giles Hardie smh.com.au

Fair enough.  I’ve seen the preview and know that the sequel offers ab-tastic Jacob and pale-tacular Edward moping and scowling over a girl who’s most memorable trait is her strictly supernatural dating pool. What am I missing?

So, if I watch the preview on a loop for two hours, I’ll have little reason to take a trip to a theater crowded with excitable teenage girls.  Got it.

“Considering Lautner’s acting improved so much sans shirt, I wonder if there might have been Oscar buzz had he taken off his pants.” Garth Franklin Dark Horizons

“Never has a man’s shirtlessness been so essential to a character’s development.” Jordan Hoffman UGO

Okay, Jacob is a feral dreamboat to Edward’s undead mojo, but if I don’t like staring at good looking guys, what does this experience have to offer?

“Grounded in the direct, disarming truth of their experience, the movie has a straightforward lack of cheap sentiment that saves it from being either too maudlin or saccharine-sweet.” Washington Post Ann Hornaday

“Uplifting and entertaining feel-good, fact-based sports drama.” Variety Joe Leydon

Fact-based truth book

I would imagine that truth is easier to attain when working with a true story. But it’s still a movie, which means that truth might take a backseat to entertainment.

“Blind Side the movie peddles the most insidious kind of racism, one in which whiteys are virtuous saviors, coming to the rescue of African-Americans who become superfluous in narratives that are supposed to be about them.”  Village Voice Melissa Anderson

Wow.  Are there any opponents of that viewpoint?

“Some will doubtlessly dismiss The Blind Side as another example of a heroic white person saving a black victim but, although there is an element of truth in that perfunctory description, it misses the point.” James Berardinelli ReelViews

“Ultimately, race has nothing to do with the truth of the emotions this film elicits from an audience. It’s a solid movie, whether you’re color blind or not.” Marshall Fine Hollywood & Fine

I don’t believe you can erase race in this discussion, but the movie isn’t always about the message either.  If it was, our final movie, Planet 51 (Rotten Tomatoes - Metacritic), would be desperate for a point.

“This movie, which was made by an animation studio in Spain, isn’t trying to make a social statement; it speaks in the international language of lightweight comedy.”  St. Louis Post-Dispatch Joe Williams

Hey, I speak that language too.  I also speak profanity, slang, and bad English.

“Like “E.T.” in reverse, this pleasantly mediocre CG animation tale lands an astronaut on a distant planet.” Village Voice Brian Miller

If you can review and summarize a movie in one sentence, does that mean its shallow?

“Largely, it’s a jellybean of a movie: bright, colorful, sugary, and with no real content.” Tasha Robinson AV Club

So, it’s a lightweight mediocre jellybean.  Sounds like fine family entertainment.

I hope the fumble-fingered batter signed that guy's jaw cast

PDJ stared at that bat-to-face picture for about 5 minutes straight

Nice photography-slash-use-of-Photoshop.

(via Slashfilm)

I just completed my second poster for the Campus Events commission. This poster is for the screening of “Ninja Assassins.” I tried to remove myself from the position of designer and put myself in the shoes of the ninja assassin, using a butcher knife and my fists to make much of the imagery for the poster. My hand writing was used in a frantic matter so as to communicate the idea that the poster is under attack.

The final poster for the tri-theatrical banner posters for Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland have been surfaced and here it is.

Of course, these images already leaked and were posted on /Film over the weekend, found in a scan of an AMC Theaters promotional magazine. Here is the original AMC scan we posted last week, so you can see how the three pieces fit together:

Another new poster for the much anticipated Alice in Wonderland movie has been released this one featuring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. This is my favorite poster so far, but I think more will be released.

Disasters, daredevil DJs, and dashing dingoes dominate this weekend.  We are emerging from the fall season movie slump and entering the holiday movie upswing.  It happens every year, but it’s no less welcome just because it’s expected.  While two of this week’s openers shouldn’t be treated as early Christmas presents, at least one of them involves blowing up the world: 2012 (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

As with the Y2Krazies, the internet is proving itself to be an invaluable resource in spreading panic. To counter the hysteria, NASA opened up a FAQ page to tell people that there’s no reason to fear the Mayan calendar’s prediction of apocalypse.  Now that you’re assured the theater will still be standing if you decide to go see the movie, let’s hear about whether it’s worth watching.

“Emmerich supposedly spent $260m to give you the biggest experience for your ticket dollar and in this regard, he has succeeded tremendously, while, intentionally or otherwise, also delivering one of 2009’s best comedies.” Michael Adams Empire Magazine Australasia

Those must be some expensive jokes.  Example please?

“Where else are you going to get a chance to see the aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy drift down the side of a mile-high tsunami and take out the White House? Big. Dumb. Fun.” Austin Chronicle Marc Savlov

Knock knock

Who’s there?

The USS John F. Kennedy.

USS John F. Kennedy who-ly crap-ton of water!

“It’s cinematic waterboarding and there was more than one occasion during the film when I was convinced it was never going to end.” Brian Orndorf Sci-Fi Movie Page

On one hand it’s never-ending torture.  On the other, it’s a lot of movie bang for your buck.

“This film that imagines the end of the world not as a whimper but as an implosion is a preposterously diverting, instantly forgettable, big-screen video game.” Philadelphia Inquirer Carrie Rickey

“The result is a state-of-the-art multiplex three-ring circus whose special effects stagger the senses and play like a video game, whose human drama aims for the cosmic and lands waist-deep in the Big Silly.” Boston Globe Ty Burr

The comparison between disaster movies and video games is disturbingly common.  Are there any video game scholars reading this who’d like to question that association?  Or is it understandable given that nearly every AAA (ie top tier) game includes exploding: people, grenades, buildings, and whatever else is around?

Does he expect to see falling asteroids or money?

“As always in Emmerich’s rollicking Armageddons, the cannon speaks with an expensive bang, while the fodder gets afforded nary a whimper. Of course, that’s just part of disaster’s simple recipe: Blow us up, then blow us off.” The Globe and Mail (Toronto) Rick Groen

Before any more critics blow a fuse, let’s move on to the mostly true story of a group of DJs who sailed a boat around the UK blowing kids minds with rock and roll in the 60s: Pirate Radio (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Pirate Radio is a great soundtrack in search of a movie. It never really finds one.” Bill Goodykoontz Arizona Republic

Where did it look?

“Pirate Radio, the new rock-saturated comedy that proves life really is better when it’s set to a ’60s soundtrack, is, to borrow from the Stones, “a gas! gas! gas!”’ Los Angeles Times Betsy Sharkey

I can think of a lot of places where that chant wouldn’t go over well.

“Writer-director Richard Curtis is about as rock n’ roll as the average great-grandmother, so it’s no surprise that Pirate Radio, his ode to the irrepressible spirit of ’60s classic rock, has all the electricity of a knitted sweater.” Nick Schager Slant Magazine

What if I rubbed a balloon on the sweater?  Would that amp things up?

“Pirate Radio is, in the end, about as rock-revolutionary as a tea break. But the choppy production floats on a great soundtrack (the real pirates are the Rolling Stones) and is buoyed by an inviting cast.” Entertainment Weekly Lisa Schwarzbaum

Somewhere between the knitted sweater and the tea break, I got distracted and sailed onto Wes Anderson’s warm fuzzy animated caper movie, The Fantastic Mr. Fox (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).  Sporting old school animation, source material courtesy of Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), and the best reviews of the weekend, let’s hear what we’re in for.

“A pleasantly cerebral experience, exhilarating and fizzy, that goes to your head like too much Champagne.” Los Angeles Times Kenneth Turan

A kid’s movie that will get you drunk?  How is that not part of the film promotion?

“Genuinely original: a silly, hilarious and oddly profound adaptation for adult-sized children.” Ian Nathan Empire Magazine

Adult-sized children sure, but what about children-sized adults?

“Anderson has pulled off the most elusive of goals: He’s made a nonchalant masterpiece, a movie that feels dog-eared and loved before it’s even reached our hands.” Salon.com Stephanie Zacharek

Dog-eared and lovable?

“Fantastic Mr. Fox is possibly the finest picture about family, community and poultry thievery ever made.” Stephanie Zacharek Salon.com

In the poultry thievery genre, it beat out Chicken Run, Chicken Little, and The Case of the Maltese Chicken.  So, what are the nay-sayers saying?

“Honestly, this really isn’t some kind of Transatlantic stand-off on our part. But how much longer are we expected to stand impotently by while Hollywood arrogantly Americanises our every British children’s icon? “ Ali Catterall Channel 4 Film

Despite the anger from purists, this film made a believer out of at least one Scrooge.

“Fantastic Mr. Fox renews one’s sense of animation’s possibilities.” Armond White New York Press

PDJ is an adult-sized adult

Just come across the poster for Amy Adams up and coming rom-com “Leap Year” which involves a tradition of a woman proposing to a man . . .