Modern-day poseurs in the fraudulent '80s

“If you remember the ’80s with anything resembling fondness,
kill yourself.”
— Dr. Francis L. Scurvy

Every few minutes, some wisenheimer trendhawk with voids to fill pontificates on the question “Are the ’80s back?,” oblivious to the rash of similar articles written a few years earlier, which were themselves oblivious to the ones published a few years before that. Truth is, with the exception of a glorious half-decade or so in the early ’90s, THE ’80s HAVE NEVER LEFT. That nostalgia mill kicked to furious life around 1995, pumping out a veritable bounty of decade-related ephemera to cloud the malleable young minds of a generation too young to know better.

I must admit I fell prey to it, too. Most of my hard-fought cabbage went to funding sonic examinations of the Way We Were, primarily the multi-volume various-artist barrel-scrapes that transported Herr Listener (i.e., me) for one blissful afternoon away from the studio apartment he could barely afford on a pauper writer’s salary to the teat of irresponsible, irrepressible youth, when he had a rent-free bedroom under his parents’ roof and a head soaked in testosterone. Ahhh, yes: Standing on your momma’s porch…you told me that it’d last forever…hey, d’ja pay your rent? Got enough bank for Cheetos and Pepsis through payday? Those were the best days of my…mid-life crisis at 23.

But ponder the sentiment, fellow survivors. Were they the best days of our lives? I can only speak for me, and I say hell the fuck no. The more I contemplated that flimsy decade, the more I came to realize how bland and dull (more adjectives to come!) the ’80s were, how tawdry, how banal, how trivial. If you celebrate the ’80s, then you long for a time of hollow mediocrity in a country wheezing on the rusted fumes of a collapsing old boy’s network, those corrupt geezers poisoned by a senile tyranny informed by archaic adherence to paranoid Cold War ideology. Yeah, there were oodles of super-cool neat-o shoulder pads and blinding colors splashed everywhere, but what lay beneath the surface? Not a goddamn thing. Empty suburbia. Mindless pursuits. Endless layers of synthetic materialism. It was a good, long sociological nap, and we drooled fluorescent neon gobs of bloat all over our Pac-Man pillows. What’s that you say? Reagan’s sticking it to the poor again for the amusement of the bourgeoisie? That’s nice; have you heard the new Mr. Mister?

Welcome to the Get-Real World

I can’t fault the kids for perpetuating this ongoing charade. They’ve been slapped with this aggressive revisionist horseshit so long it may as well be peaches and cream. They can recite by rote all the signposts in the hoary narrative we’ve fed them. And, oh, how we’ve spewed. The ’80s were so much tubular bitchen trickly fun! A ceaseless hullabaloo of hedonism and style! Boy, did you young’uns miss out on some killer silly shit! Jellies shoes! Hair metal! Vuarnet sunglasses over an OP shirt over shrink-to-fit button-fly 501s over official Frankie Goes to Hollywood ankle socks stuffed into checkerboard slip-on Vans! Woooo! No. No. No. No. No. All of this iconic claptrap was stretched over a ten-year period of excruciatingly vapid tedium. But it’s typical of what we do: handpick a few images, then insist they represent the entire decade.

Here’s a fun exercise: Build a time machine, travel back to the bestest wowee decade ever, poll a random teenager by asking, “Isn’t this awesome?” then hope to John DeLorean he ain’t packing a bicycle chain. Luckily, of course, you don’t have to go to all that trouble. Remember the years 2000-2008? Shitty, right? ’80s, with a cartoon twist, a similar wardrobe and similar bands. (Remember that ever-so-brief sliver in the mid-mills when we finally acknowledged there was more to ’80s music than a couple of Dexy’s Midnight Runners and Soft Cell singles? The seven minutes we appreciated Gang of Four again?)

Now, some of y’all are gonna pipe up about the slow ascent of what we called “college rock” then and an overwhelming abundance of genre names now. And while that’s true to a point, it still remained very much an underground movement. If you were a sensitive school-aged squirt and openly admitted to liking, say, R.E.M. before about, say, 1987, you were a pussy-ass faggot queer who got dragged behind the school for a right nice stomp. Depeche Mode or The Cure? Justifiable homicide. Even looking “weird” (snerk) could result in considerable infrastructure damage. For all the “kooky” era fashions we highlight today, we weren’t really all that tolerant of anything outside the accepted norm. There was a definite class structure, violently maintained. Despite the burblings that would blossom in the ’90s (a decade we pillory, for some strange reason), there was no question as to who was in charge: the children of Alex P. Keaton, the progeny of Arnold and Sly.

I control your hearts and minds.

Look no further than The Breakfast Club for a solid demonstration of the ’80s in action: Ally Sheedy’s wallflower is an unacceptable companion for Emilio Estevez’s wrestling stud until Molly Ringwald’s spoiled princess transforms her Pygmalion-style into one of Them. Ringwald uses her powers of redheaded privilege to civilize Judd Nelson’s hunky thug (taming the Bender). Anthony Michael Hall’s sexless nerd doesn’t score with anyone, but that’s OK: he gets the satisfaction of writing everyone’s Saturday School assignment for them. On Monday, he’ll return to campus the same hounded hallway geek. The Beautiful People pick up a pair of new passengers while maintaining the status quo.

That, my friends, was the ’80s. Assimilation and control, but with a decent soundtrack.

This week a double feature devoted to the disturbing and often funny Randy Krallman

E*Trade:

Starburst:

I admittedly got tired of the ‘berries and cream’ ad after everyone on youtube went through a phase of mashing up and parodying the heck out of it. It still remains one of the creepiest ads ever hands down. Which was the intent of the creator Randy Krallman, who has a sick sense of humor. Something I can definitely appreciate.

Krallman is also the director and and voice of the E*Trade baby commercials. The above being one that I probably should have gotten tired of, but never have. It’s got everything you could want in an ad. Cute babies, funny, and the best darn version of Take These Broken Wings, ever.

all or nothing sir…there is no in between i don’t want to be your friend…

Today’s Song Spotlight is “Something Real (Inside Me/Inside You)” by Mr. Mister. It’s from their 1987 album, Go On…. Most people remember the singles for Mr. Mister’s 1985 album, Welcome to the Real World (most notably, they will probably remember “Broken Wings” or “Kyrie”). It’s interesting to note in the credits for this song that it was written in 1985, so I wonder if perhaps this had originally been written during the sessions for Welcome to the Real World, but ended up not being used on that album.

Anyway, I remember hearing this song on the radio and seeing the video on MTV early on during seventh grade. I remember just falling in love with it. I loved the sound of the song and what the lyrics had to say. Of course, it also helped that I really liked “Kyrie” and “Broken Wings,” so I already had some familiarity with Mr. Mister before hearing this song.

Visually, this video was a rather stunning achievement for 1987. However, watching it today, it looks cheesy and dated, and the effects could probably have been achieved a bit more seamlessly with the technology we have at our disposal now. But this is still an interesting piece to watch, and it makes you realize just how far technology has evolved over the past twenty plus years.

SOMETHING REAL (INSIDE ME/INSIDE YOU)
Written by Richard Page, Steve George & John Lang
(c) 1985 Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp. / Entente Music (BMI)

Everyone’s looking for something real
Everyone’s taking all they can steal
Brother to sister, look at each other face to face
There’s something missing here in this human race
Hey

Inside of me
(All we want is something real)
Is a part of you
(We can make this last forever)
And inside you
(Make a world where we can feel)
There’s a part of me
(We will always be together)
Yeah

Person to person, place to place
We run from each other, lost in the race
Brother to sister, hold on to each other with all we got
Our time is coming, if you’re ready or not, if you’re ready or not
Oh

Inside of me
(All we want is something real)
Is a part of you
(We can make this last forever)
And I know inside you
(Make a world where we can feel)
There’s a part of me
(We will always be together)

Give me something real
(All we want is something real)
Give me something real
(We can make this last forever)
Inside you
(Make a word where we can feel)
There’s a part of me
(We will always be together)
Yeah, yeah

Brother to sister, hold on to each other with all we got
Our time is coming, if you’re ready or not, if you’re ready or not
Oh

Inside of me
(All we want is something real)
Is a part of you
(We can make this last forever)
And inside you
(Make a world where we can feel)
There’s a part of me
(We will always be together)

Give me something real
(All we want is something real)
Something real
(We can make this last forever)
Inside you
(Make a world where we can feel)
Make a world where we can feel
(We will always be together)
We will always be together

(All we want is something real)
Something real
(We can make this last forever)
Inside you
(Make a world where we can feel)
Is a part of me
(We will always be together)

Mr. Mister

Broken Wings

Mr. Mister – Broken Wings

Mr. Mister – Broken Wings

Mr. Mister – Broken Wings

Baby, don’t understand,
Why we can’t just hold on to each others’ hands
This time might be the last, I fear,
Unless I make it all too clear
I need you so, ohh

Take these broken wings,
And learn to fly again,
Learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing,
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these broken wings

Baby, I think tonight,
We can take what was wrong and make it right, mmm
Baby, it’s all I know, that you’re half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole, I need you so

So take these broken wings,
And learn to fly again,
Learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing,
The book of love will open up and let us in
Yeah, yeah,
Let us in…
Let us in…

Baby, it’s all I know, that you’re half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole, yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah,

So take these broken wings,
And learn to fly again,
Learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing,
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these broken wings, you’ve got to learn to fly
Learn to live and love so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up for us and let us in, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah, oooh

Colours and Colours and Colours and Colours

Hey Guys,

Mr. Mister – Kyrie (1986)

Rod Stewart – Baby Jane (1983)

Eddie Money – Walk on Water (1988)

The Bangles – Manic Monday (1986)

Why don’t I hear more Rod Stewart blasting when I’m out at bars. Seriously.

Pat Mastelotto, rock drummer, studio musician, Mr. Mister

Insônia, pensamento a mil.

Mais um grande clássico dos anos 80.

Enjoy!

Tradução AQUI (Essas traduções às vezes me assustam.)

Bjs e Abraços

Let’s get emotional.

Calz1.

lyrics with heart and soul in a scenic video.

Take these broken wings 
and learn to fly again
learn to live free.

“Take these broken wings – and learn to fly again – learn to live free.” Mooie woorden in een mooie mv.

Though it actually refers to itself as a “controversial cult classic,” which can sometimes be a red flag, I can confirm without hesitation that the hit underground film I’m Keith Hernandez is indeed a cinematic experience worth undertaking. Without question, if you see one pseudo-documentary this summer about mustachioed NL East superstars who may have moonlit as adult film stars, make it I’m Keith Hernandez.

This afternoon the fim’s creator announced via an e-mail blast to dedicated followers of the film that the joy of ‘The Mandez’ will now be on display for the entire streaming world to see via imkeithhernandez.com. While those looking for slapstick, over-the-top or cheap humor might be disappointed by Rob Perri’s interpretation, faithful followers of Hernandez’ work and the music of Mr. Mister will want to check this out. It is a truly great ride, and Rob deserves all the praise he’s got and more. The video is free, so realistically I know you’re not likely to go out and by the DVD. But “Mulligan’s Travels” firmly believes in supporting great art, so please, please do yourself a favor and order a Hernandez tee off Perri’s site.

You’ll certainly bag more babes…AND more bases.

Steve Farris, American musician, Mr. Mister

20. “My Hometown”, Bruce Springsteen- I wasn’t a big Springsteen fan when I was growing up, and I’m still not.  While I consider myself to be a patriotic American, I found his trademark anthem “Born in the U.S.A.” to be way too affected for my tastes.  However, I have to admit that I like some of his slower stuff.  This song has a nice nostalgic message and a cool electric organ part.  Springsteen keeps a nice tone to his vocal throughout the song.  It actually reminds me more of a Billy Joel song in style and lyrics.

19. “The Way It Is”, Bruce Hornsby and the Range- The keyboard part sets the mood at the beginning of this song.  Then, it gets even cooler (word?) when the drums and the rest of the band come in with a jazzy feel.  Hornsby has a nice tone to his voice and just enough grit to keep it serious.  The song has a very pretty, whole sound, but the tempo keeps it from being easy listening.  The most interesting thing about this song is that it tackles a very unusual subject for eighties pop: racism and the American Civil Rights Movement.  You would never get that from the tune and tone of the song.

18. “Stuck With You”, Huey Lewis and The News- This song continued Lewis’ string of hits throughout the mid-eighties.  The video for the song was dreadfully cheesy even though it did have a hottie, but the bee-bop style gave fans of the band exactly what they had grown to expect from them.

17. “Human”, Human League- This song reminds you of “Shout” by Tears for Fears with a forceful beginning and dark baseline, but then the keyboard comes in and lightens the mood considerably.  To call this band androgynous would be an understatement.  Tammy Fae is only slightly less made up than the lead singer.  The tone to the vocal and the DX7 keyboard make the song.  The spoken word in the middle a little cheesy.

16. “Greatest Love Of All”, Whitney Houston- Whitney Houston hit her stride with this song.  She is a powerhouse and the song is a showcase for her vocals.  The tender, positive message of the lyrics was refreshing and different from most of her love songs.  The song makes even more sense when you know that the writer was a mother with terminal breast cancer.  I chose over it “How Will I Know” which also charted the same year.

15. “Glory Of Love”, Peter Cetera- This was the first song released by Cetera after he left Chicago and was released on his Solitude/Solitaire and again on the soundtrack to the Karate Kid Part II for which it earned him an Oscar and a Golden Globe.  It is a power ballad in the Cetera/Chicago style, and features his unmistakable tenor vocals.  The piano and string parts round-out the song nicely.  The horns in the song are quite different from those to be found in a traditional Chicago song, and are much more orchestral in tone, but they go well.

14. “Take Me Home”, Phil Collins- The staccato percussion at the beginning of the song sounds like rain in a good way, but by the time the song hits the chorus it has sort of an anthem quality.  This is more easily understood when one realizes that the full sound of the vocals is bolstered by both Sting and Peter Gabriel among others.  Most people associate the song with fond memories of home, but Collins claimed that it was about a patient in a mental institution and likened it to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

13.  “Livin’ On a Prayer”, Bon Jovi- The anthem style of this song and the bass line make you tap your toes as you sing along.  It is really just a straight up rock & roll song with Jon Bon Jovi singing in his quasi rock/metal style.  This song has become the trade mark of the band, and experienced a revival during the weeks after the September 11 attacks in 2001.

12. “Alive and Kicking”, Simple Minds- It was clear from the production value of the video, that the band had a budget of about 50 cents to spend on it, but I was afraid while watching it that the bassist would fall off the edge of the cliff that he was standing on.  As for the song, it continued with the same style that their mega hit from the year before, “Don’t You Forget About Me,” delivered.  The vocal is strong and clear, the percussion continues to deliver a punch, and the piano solos are memorable.

11. “If You Leave”, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark- The vocal is very much like the one found in the previous listing for Simply Minds.  It has the same strong whole tone to it.  However, the whisper quality that the vocals take on when they get to the chorus makes the song more interesting.  The synth-keyboards drive the song from beginning to end with a nice sax solo thrown on the middle.

10. “No One Is To Blame”, Howard Jones- There are several incarnations of this song out there.  My favorite is the one that starts out with the light percussion and keyboard.  It is really nice to listen to.  Jones voice, as always, sounds great on the song.  I think that Howard Jones may be the most underrated artist of the 1980s.

9. “True Colors”, Cyndi Lauper- She may have been hard to look at, but Cyndi Lauper could deliver a great song when she tried in the middle 1980s when she tried, before the drugs destroyed her career.  “True Colors” was the first single released of her follow-up to her mega album, She’s So Unusual, and was the title track.  It was the only good song on the album, but it was a very good one.  The soft guitar with percussion that is the main instrumentation throughout the song is very nice, as is the soft tone of Lauper’s voice and her ability to deliver emotion.  If you are going to listen to her version of the song, you need to know, that she has very little diction, and her dress in the video makes it unwatchable.  However, the lyrics are what make this song truly great, and I have sung it to my daughter since she was a tiny baby.  It has proved its staying power by being used in ad campaigns by seven different products world-wide.  I would like to know how much money she made off of Kodak alone.

8.  “Higher Love”, Steve Winwood- This song has an upbeat island quality to the rhythm and the instrumentation.  Winwood’s vocal is kind of a Bill Medley meets Huey Lewis sound.  It has a little edge, but still a good tenor tone to it. The backing vocals are great, and remind me Howard Jones’ back-up singers.  The music video, once again, looks like someone spent about a dollar on it, but for some reason MTV nominated it for an award, which it did not win.

7. “Your Love”, Outfield- This song has a cool rock & roll feel to it, and the vocals sound great.  The lead singer’s voice goes so high that it is practically impossible to sing along with, unless you sing an octave lower than he does, but it is still one of my favorite 80s songs.  It is the most tender song ever written about a guy who just wants to screw a girl behind his girlfriend’s back without any consequences.  How could a girl possibly say no to a proposal like that?

I have a memory that sort of goes along with this song.  The stars had aligned in the summer of 1986.  My favorite band, Journey, had gotten back together with Steve Perry to produce their last decent album, Raised on Radio.  It, of course, was no where near as good as their precious stuff, but I rushed out to buy it, and quickly knew every song.  Journey was coming to Dallas that summer, and I rushed out to buy my tickets.  It got even better, their opening act was slated to be The Outfield, my favorite new group.  Greatness.

Tragedy struck a few weeks before the Dallas concert.  Apparently, A bass amp fell on the head of a member of The Outfield, and they were scratched from the Dallas show.  Glass Tiger of “Don’t Forget Me When I’m Gone” fame was inserted in their place.  I don’t know why, but I have always been bitter that I had Glass Tiger foisted on me instead of getting to hear The Outfield.

To be honest, Glass Tiger was pretty cheesy in concert.  The lead singer had the whole 80s big curly hair thing going on, and the white, rocker, sequined-jacket worn open with no shirt underneath.  He sat down on the edge of the stage and blatantly pandered to the girls in the front row as if they were actually there to see him.

My bitterness was pretty focused by then.  My seats were on the second row on the left side of the stage, and there was a gangway for the singers to walk almost up to where we were sitting right in front of us.  I had my lighter, as all good fans at a concert did in those days, and when he made his way up the gangway right in front of me, I lit the lighter, and threw ‘the bird’ (flipped him off) up for him to see in perfect backlight.  He did not even make it to the end of the gangway, but immediately turned around, and went to the gangway on the other side of the arena where he sang for some time.  Giggle.

I still have hardness in my heart toward this band for upstaging The Outfield (even if they really had nothing to do with it), and that is probably why they did not make my list.

6. “Never”, Heart- Heart continued their dominance as the biggest female group of the 1980s with “Never.”  I chose this or over the softer, “These Dreams” because it was a much bigger it, but they are both great songs.  Anne Wilson’s voice dominates this song, as it does all Heart songs.  This is another song that can be heard yearly on American Idol, and it usually either makes or breaks the contestants.

5.  “West End Girls”, Pet Shop Boys- I had to have at least one song from the Pet Shop Boys on my lists, and that song had to be West End Girls.  The bass-line is the most memorable part of this song.  It has a funky quality to it, and the vocal, while spoken in the verses, has a nice tone in the chorus.  The song and lyrics are obviously concerned about something, but I was never quite sure what it was until I read on Wiki, that the song is a social commentary “inspired by T.S. Elliot’s poem The Waste Land.”

4.  “Sledgehammer”, Peter Gabriel- This song would probably make anyone’s top 10 songs of the 80s list.  It was everywhere in the summer of 1986.  The surreal quality of the video and the cool stop-motion animation make it arguably the best music video ever.  It has won the most MTV music video awards (nine), and is the most played video ever (according to MTV).  Gabriel sings with a quirky style, and is backed by a big band funky horn section that sounds great.  The Japanese synthesized flute solo in the middle of the song always makes me think of dancing chickens.  The R&B background singers at the end of the song are also very good.

3.  “Addicted To Love”, Robert Palmer- This was another great 80s song and video.  You only have to hear one Robert Palmer song to know his rock & roll style, and you only have to see one of his videos to understand his main marketing technique: Sexy girls in semi sheer black tights and no bras sell.  And, boy do they.  I was a pretty traditional guy growing up in the 80s.  I liked the hot, pretty girl, and I was always turned-off by the hot, dirty or skanky girl.  When Robert Palmer came along with his pseudo-gothic girls, I was faced with a dilemma.  Those girls were definitely not traditional, but they were also definitely hot.  Eventually, I stopped wondering why, and decided to just enjoy the show.

2.  “Broken Wings”, Mr. Mister- I made these lists a while ago, and have been writing the blurbs about each one as I prepare to publish them.  When I went back to the 1986 list, I immediately realized that I had made a mistake.  One of my rules from the beginning was that I was not going to put more than one song from any group on the same list.  However, when I opened the 1986 list back up, I realized that I had two songs from the same group at the #2 and #3 spots.  It was just a careless error, but it underscored to me how much I liked both of these songs when I tried to decide which of them to actually include at #2.  In the end “Broken Wings” barely beat-out “Kyrie.”  The iconic bass line with the brush on snare at the beginning of the song let you know what song you listening to from the first couple of notes.  Together with the keyboards, they give the song an eerie and ethereal feel.  The vocal has a whole and strong tone that is easy to sing along with, and when it gets to the “Let us in…” lyric, it soars (good effect in a song about wings).

1.  “Say You, Say Me”, Lionel Richie- This is my personal favorite song by Richie.  The lyrics have a positive message about people getting along and understanding each other.  It was in the great date movie, White Nights for which it earned an Oscar and a golden Globe, but did not appear on the soundtrack.  Richie released the song on his Dancing on the Ceiling album after it had already hit number one in December the year before (1985) as a single.  The music has a creepy, reverb quality that is highly synthesized, but it is the vocal that is great.  If I hear this song on the radio today, I can’t help but sing with it, and when it is over, I always want to hear it again.  Greatness.

Top 20 80s Pop/Rock Songs (Category)

Top 20 1980’s Pop/Rock Songs By Year (Criteria)

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1980

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1981

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1982

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1983

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1984

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1985 

Top 20 Pop/Rock Songs from 1987

1986 had some big songs. There were a lot of songs that I really wanted to make the list that I just couldn’t include because I liked these better. If you are interested why I started doing these Top 10 lists (and for the top 10 of 1980) check out my 1980 post. For the others click, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984 and 1985.

10. Election Day, Arcadia – After the massive success of Seven and the Ragged Tiger, the members of Duran Duran took a break from being Duran Duran and started a couple of side projects. John and Andy Taylor hooked up with Robert Palmer to form Power Station and Simon LeBon, Nick Rhodes and Roger Taylor formed Arcadia. While Power Station had a different, harder sound, Arcadia pretty much sounded like Duran Duran. ”Election Day” reached #6 on the Billboard charts and has the typical atmospheric, keyboard/electronic driven sound. There’s lots of sampling of what sounds like garbled radio chatter throughout and the chorus has a creepy spoken word part voiced by none other than Grace Jones. I had to check the title of the song twice to make sure I got it right because the chorus actually mentions re-election day rather than election day.

9. Kiss, Prince – This song was about as funky as anything I had ever heard by 1986. Having not grown up listening to pop music I had never had much exposure to Parliament or much of the Disco stuff so this was completely new to me. Prince somehow manages to sing almost the entire song in falsetto and not come off as gay (the only other completely falsetto songs I had heard were by the Bee Gees and they did sound gay), which surprised me. “Kiss” has a very minimalist feel to it with pretty much just guitar (and maybe a keyboard?) and electronic drums accompanying the vocals. The song is a little dated now with lines like “You don’t have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude”, but I think it holds up as a cool song. I remember a few years later Tom Jones covering this song but it was nowhere near as cool.

8. Don’t Forget Me (When I’m Gone), Glass Tiger – A straight forward pop/rock song with a great melody, this song was everywhere when it came out. Bryan Adams was huge when this was released and I’m sure that Glass Tiger thought it was a real score that would catapult them to stardom when they got him to contribute backing vocals to the track. Alas, this was was their biggest of two hits (the other was “Someday”). Doing a quick check on Wikipedia, I found that they actually released 4 or 5 other albums and played at the official opening of the Skydome in Toronto. A good song from a spare band.

7. Your Love, The Outfield – Another good song from an essentially one-hit-wonder band (although, like Glass Tiger, The Outfield had two hits although I couldn’t tell you what the other one was). The instrumentation is pretty straight forward pop/rock – gated, flanged guitars, bass drums with some keyboard thrown in for good measure. I didn’t realize until later that the lyrics to this song are really creepy. Basically the song seems to be about a one night stand with an underage girl while the singer’s steady is out of town. It kind of makes you want to take a shower after listening to it.

6. Spies Like Us, Paul McCartney – From the movie of the same name, this is Paul McCartney at one of his coolest post Beatles moments. The vocals are washed in echo and the guitars are really distorted and dirty sounding. I remember I had to go to a specialty record store to get this single (I still have it) because the soundtrack album did not include it.

5. Glory of Love, Peter Cetera – Right after the huge success of Chicago 17, Peter Cetera decided he could probably do just as well on his own as with Chicago (It’s got to be a little annoying splitting royalties 35 ways or however many band members they had at the time). He was pretty much right, as he had a string of hits over the next several years. This song was off of the Karate Kid IIsoundtrack and pretty much sounded like any other Chicago love ballad from the 80’s; which means it had a great melody, great vocals and lots of DX7 keyboard parts in it. The thing that always frustrated me with Peter Cetera and Chicago was that it was impossible to sing along with the songs without shredding your vocal chords. How does he sing that high?

4. Life In A Northern Town, Dream Academy – I love this song. It has such an atmospheric quality to it. It makes me think of winter (I guess because of the Salvation Army reference) although I think the song is set in summer (“The children drunk lemonade”). Everything is airy and laid back during the verses and then gets really big when the choir and drums come in on the chorus. It’s really a well crafted, beautiful song.

3. Amanda, Boston – I actually “dedicated” this song to a girl I liked on the local Top 40 radio station’s Top 10 countdown show. Boston is a band with a distinct sound that they never changed. Even though this song came out in the mid 80’s, it would fit just as well on one of their 70’s albums. “Amanda” has a great melody and classic rock style.

2. Kyrie, Mr. Mister – File this one under “Craziest Misheard Lyrics Ever”. Having no working knowledge of either Roman Catholicism or the Greek language when this song came out, I thought that the first line of the chorus was “Carry a laser”. Inserting that phrase for the actual phrase, “Kyrie eleison” which means “Lord, have mercy”, gives the song an entirely different and surreal meaning. The song itself is drenched in keyboard parts and distorted, effects-driven guitars. It’s got a driving beat, and would have been a straight rock and roll song if not for the aforementioned keyboards. I picked it over the more laid back hit by Mr. Mister, “Broken Wings”.

1. No One Is To Blame, Howard Jones – My band did a cover of this song, using a guitar for the signature opening riff, and it was a crowd pleaser. This is my favorite Howard Jones song and, like most songs I like, has a great, memorable melody. This is probably Jones’ best studio vocal. My favorite version of this song is from the live album Live Acoustic America, which is just Jones on piano with a percussionist. With all of the production stripped away, the song’s beautiful melody is highlighted and you realize what a great song this really is.

Yes I’m a child of the syntho-pop 80’s, what can I say?

Not to be mistaken for Mister Misty, a popular DQ drink that I loved as a kid.