Cannabis can reduce spasticity in multiple sclerosis (MS) patients. A systematic review, published in the open access journal BMC Neurology, found that five out six randomized controlled trials reported a reduction in spasticity and an improvement in mobility.

Study Confirms That Cannabis is Beneficial for MS
(author unknown)
Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:40:04 GMT

     With only a few weeks left to this year, I’m afraid I won’t reach my 50,000 hits goal.  (More would be even better.)  Well, so far it looks as though I won’t make it, at least, not without your help.  Hurry dear readers; tell your family, friends, and blog buddies to pop in for a peek.  Bribe them, sweet-talk them, and lie to them if you must.  I have a bet with Dear Hubby, there’s a dinner out riding on this.  Help me please—we don’t get out much. 

     How can I induce you?  Cuter dog pictures?  More talks with the editor on my shoulder?  More serious discussions on writing?  Arguments with my muse?  More dog stories?  Life with Dear Hubby and his MS stories?  Stories of me the super klutz and life with two BTs?  Have you any suggestions?  

     There are only two things I refuse to comment on—religion and politics.  I’ll leave that to other people since I created this blog for fun and I consider both subjects private.

December 5, 2009 – Cannabis, otherwise known as marijuana (or marihuana), has been a topic of debate for many years, not only in Canada, but also in several other countries including the U.S. and the U.K. However, while marijuana for recreational use has not been legalized in Canada, medical marijuana use can be granted for medicinal needs.

The Definition of Chronic Pain

Although “chronic pain” seems all encompassing and thus easily used as a reason for medical marijuana use, the organization of Health Canada very clearly defines what can be considered severe enough pain for medical marijuana. With that said, there are many suffering from chronic pain – due to a variety of reasons – with grants for the medical use of cannabis.

Arthritis, headaches and back pain are the most common, but fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrome, neuropathy and phantom limb pain are also common reason for chronic pain. Continuing pain can also be caused by debilitating illnesses such as MS (multiple sclerosis), scoliosis, osteoporosis and others.

Original Treatments for Chronic Pain

For many, medical marijuana use is a “last resort”, used only after several pharmacologic treatments fail. Typically, the first treatments include pain relievers such as aspirin or ibuprofen. Unfortunately, long-term use can cause serious side effects; even if there is pain relief, it can only be in short periods due to the need for short-term use of the “first line” of treatments.

Should the first treatments fail, narcotic opioids such as codeine, morphine and oxycodone are generally prescribed. Although often highly affective, the concern for these types of narcotics is that they have a high possibility for addiction and abuse. As well, their use is also limited, due to possible side effects in higher doses. The withdrawal symptoms for addictive pharmaceuticals can be mild to painfully severe.

Medical Marijuana for Chronic Pain

For those that don’t respond to the first or second line of treatments, medical marijuana may be prescribed. As well, there are those who prefer not to use man-made pharmaceuticals that have a high rate of addiction or serious side effects.

According to Health Canada, “Dependence is unlikely to be problematic when cannabis is used therapeutically, although withdrawal affects may be uncomfortable. These include restlessness, anxiety, mild agitation, irritability, tremor, insomnia and EEG/ sleep disturbance, nausea, diarrhea and cramping.”

Relief from chronic pain, however, far outweighs the possibility of addiction for many:

- Migraines – Severe, incredibly painful and often lasting as long as 72 hours, migraines can cause serious debilitating issues such as nausea, vision changes, vomiting and a high sensitivity to light and sound. Many of the pharmaceuticals used to either stop or lessen the amount of migraines cause the same issues as the onset of the migraines themselves. Often, sufferers stop treatment because it doesn’t work or because the side effects are too severe.

Medical marijuana, on the other hand, has been a well-documented treatment for many years – even throughout the nineteenth century. Cannabinoids have often demonstrated anti-inflammatory effects, as well as dopamine blocking. It is believed by some that one of the causes of migraines is the lack of natural endocannabinoids in the body, which might explain why cannabis works to decrease the pain as well as the symptoms.

- Multiple sclerosis (MS) – MS is a degenerative disease that attacks myelin in the brain and spinal cord. If you imagine nerves to be like electrical wires, myelin is the insulating, protective sheath around the nerves. The autoimmune system treats myelin as a foreign invader, destroying patches of it and leaving nerve fibers exposed, interrupting their normal function. It is debilitating and painful, causing such symptoms as tingling and numbness, painful muscle spasms, tremors, paralysis and more.

Prescribed pharmaceuticals can cause severe, debilitating medical issues such as seizures, abdominal cramps, dizziness, mental disturbances and other problems. Many MS sufferers prefer to self-medicate with marijuana, and have noticed that cannabis helps them control tremors, spasms and bladder control. Tests have also shown that THC helps reduce pain intensity and sleep disturbance significantly.

Although these two illnesses are common for the use of medical marijuana in relieving chronic pain sufferers, the same can be said for rheumatoid arthritis, spinal cord injuries and even phantom limb pain. While more studies need to be performed to explain exactly how cannabinoids and medical marijuana work, the fact that they do work is clear. Source.

Even my cells have signed on for this fight.

You’ve just got to love medical researchers. They discover, or prove, workings of our bodies and environments and thereby give us knowledge to live better. This is one thing I’m not too cynical about. I’ve lost count of the research findings that have led to a healthier me. I’m happy to make use of the info myself and help pass it along to others.  (It also doesn’t hurt my attitude that my oldest son, Derek, is a medical research graduate student at Rice University.)

Here’s the latest, “Well, yeah,” story I’m latching onto: According to this piece in WebMD Health News, researchers found that telomeres, DNA at the end of chromosomes, are longer in people who exercise regularly. It means on the molecular level, cells last longer, delaying the aging process and the effects of aging.

It gives me more intellectual backup for my intentionally oversimplified mantra, “keep moving or die.” I’ve convinced myself for 10 years that staying active might help me fend off a cliff-dive push from MS. Now I know that millions of little cell troopers inside me are working right by my side as I huff and puff on the treadmill.

     Dear Hubby’s MS truly kicked his butt this past week.  DH had a rough week.  He wasn’t able to walk too far from the cabin to hunt.  He’s over tired and not getting around well.  I think he was glad that they cut their hunting trip a little short.  Instead of hunting all day today, they packed it in around noon.  They decided to head home, rather than stay another night, and drive home in the morning.  The weather was beginning to turn and they had a long drive ahead of them. 

     R called me to tell me that DH’s driving was sub par and DH was ten minutes away from home.  He asked that I please have DH call him so he knew he made it home safe. 

     It will probably take DH a week to recover from the hunting trip.  I do wish he’d been able to get a deer on this hunt because the way things look so far, it was probably his last one.  This is something he’s done since his father handed him his first rifle as a child.  For a few years, he went hunting with his father.  They weren’t close.  The only thing they did together was hunt and even that didn’t last long.  He spent many more years hunting with R.

That ain't a bear!

     A neighbor near the cabin where Dear Hubby and his friend are hunting had a wildlife camera set up behind his place.  You know, one of those out-door cameras with a motion sensor.  Two weeks before they left to go hunting, the neighbor sent the above picture to DH’s friend. 

     Wow, we had no idea they had mountain lions in the area.  DH’s friend takes his two dogs along with them, both are large, but I somehow picture them back pedaling when confronted by a kitty big enough to drag an eight-point buck out of the woods.

     We know they have black bears up there.  They had one on the back deck last year and the dogs barked at it through the door.  The bear “Frankly, didn’t give a damn” and moseyed off after staring at them for a while.   The two dogs would probably have to discuss the large kitty situation.

     Male: “You go ahead.  You’re bigger than I am.”

     Female: “I dunno I’ve never seen a kitty that big.  Hell, it’s bigger than you.”

     Male: “You know, I think it might even be bigger than you.”

     Female: “Did I hear the food dish rattle?  I swear I heard Dad put some food in there.”

     Male: “I think you’re right.  Let’s go back inside.  We can bark at it from there like we did that bear.”

10 weeks 5 days postpartum
Breastfeeding “almost” exclusively and taking no medication.
Symptoms today: slight weakness in arms and legs – bilateral, right eye twitching
Overall good day, didn’t notice fatigue today.
I forgot to take iron and prenatals last night and have not taken ANY vitamins at all today.

December 4, 2009 – Cancer patients, glaucoma patients and others can benefit from medical marijuana, and now a new analysis shows that it can help multiple sclerosis (MS) patients find relief from the muscle spasms that are the hallmark of the debilitating autoimmune disease.

“The therapeutic potential of cannabinoids in MS appears to be comprehensive, and should be given considerable attention,” said lead researcher Dr. Shaheen Lakhan, executive director of the Global Neuroscience Initiative Foundation.

“Spasticity, an involuntary increase in muscle tone or rapid muscle contractions, is one of the more common and distressing symptoms of MS,” the researchers noted in their review. “Medicinal treatment may reduce spasticity, but may also be ineffective, difficult to obtain or associated with intolerable side effects,” they added.

“We found evidence that cannabis plant extracts may provide therapeutic benefit for MS spasticity symptoms,” Lakhan said.

Although some objective measures showed improvement, there were no significant changes in after-treatment assessments, Lakhan said. “However, subjective assessment of symptom relief did often show significant improvement post-treatment,” he added.

For the study, Lakhan and his colleague Marie Rowland reviewed six studies where marijuana was used by MS patients. Five of the trials showed that marijuana reduced spasms and improved mobility, according to the report published Dec. 3 in the online journal BMC Neurology.

Specifically, the studies evaluated the cannabis extracts delta9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and cannabidiol (CBD). These studies found that both THC and CBD extracts may provide therapeutic benefit for MS spasticity symptoms, Lakhan said.

Although there was a benefit from using marijuana there were also side effects, such as intoxication. This varied depending on the amount of marijuana needed to effectively limit spasms, but side effects were also seen in the placebo groups, Lakhan and Rowland noted.

The careful monitoring of symptom relief and side effects is critical in reaching an individual’s optimal dose, Lakhan said. “Moreover, there is evidence that cannabinoids may provide neuroprotective and anti-inflammatory benefits in MS,” he added.

“Considering the distress and limitations spasticity brings to individuals with MS, it would be important to carefully weigh the potential for side effects with the potential for symptom relief, especially in view of the relief reported in subjective assessment,” Lakhan said.

Dr. Moses Rodriguez, a professor of neurology and immunology at the Mayo Clinic, said that “the idea of using cannabis to treat MS has been around for a long time.”

Rodriguez noted that the effects of using marijuana have been mixed. “It has been difficult to know whether the effect has been just a general well-being or whether it has a direct effect on muscle fibers and spasticity,” he said.

If drugs could be developed that take away the intoxicating effects of marijuana, it could have a direct effect on spasms without the high, Rodriguez said.

The Obama administration announced in October that it will no longer prosecute medical marijuana users or suppliers, provided they obey the laws of states that allow use of the drug for medicinal purposes.

Rodriguez said he is often asked by his MS patients about whether there is a benefit to using marijuana.

“What I tell my patients,” he said, “is if they want to try it they should try it. They should understand that there is a potential for it to be habit-forming and there may be a potential that they are fooling themselves.”

Patricia A. O’Looney, vice president of biomedical research at the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, said the society has studied this issue and does not think enough is known to recommend that MS patients use marijuana.

“Because the studies to date do not demonstrate a clear benefit compared to existing therapy, and issues of side effects and long-term effects are not clear, the recommendation is that it should not be recommended at this time,” she said.

Another expert, Dr. William Sheremata, director of the Multiple Sclerosis Center at the University of Miami School of Medicine, also doesn’t think MS patients necessarily benefit from marijuana use.

Sheremata noted that the objective measures in the study did not show any benefit from marijuana. “Those are the only valid measures. Subjective responses are subjective; they really don’t have much in the way of validity,” he said. “I am not convinced that the use of marijuana benefits patients as a whole.” Source.

For more information on multiple sclerosis, visit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Multiple Sclerosis May Be Triggered by Factors from Common Human Bacteria (Medical News Today)

Current research suggests that a common oral bacterium may exacerbate autoimmune disease. The related report by Nichols et al, “Unique Lipids from a Common Human Bacterium Represent a New Class of TLR2 Ligands Capable of Enhancing Autoimmunity,” appears in the December 2009 issue of The American Journal of Pathology.

* * *

Porphyromas gingivalis, a common oral bacterium in humans, produces a unique type of lipid, phosphorylated dihydroceramides (DHCs), which enhance inflammatory responses. These lipids are also likely produced by bacteria found in other parts of the body including the gastrointestinal tract. To determine if these lipids accentuate immune-mediated damage in autoimmune disease, researchers led by Robert B. Clark and Frank C. Nichols of the University of Connecticut Health Center administered phosphorylated DHCs in a mouse model of MS. The severity of disease was significantly enhanced by the addition of these lipids in a manner that was dependent on activation of the immune system. These data suggest that phosphorylated DHCs from bacteria commonly found in humans may trigger or increase the severity of autoimmune diseases such as multiple sclerosis…More…

Study Questions Safety of Mammograms for Young Women at High Risk of Cancer (NY Times)

For young women who have a high risk of breast cancer because of genetic mutations or family history, the radiation from yearly mammograms may make the risk even higher, researchers reported at a radiology conference on Monday.

The report is particularly troubling because it suggests that the very women who are told they need mammograms most may also be the most vulnerable to harm from them. Doctors routinely urge high-risk women to have mammograms earlier in life and more often than women judged to be at average risk.

Researchers caution that the new report is not conclusive, and that the issue needs more study…More…

Tests Find More than 200 Chemicals in Newborn Umbilical Cord Blood (Scientific American)

U.S. minority infants are born carrying hundreds of chemicals in their bodies, according to a report released today by an environmental group.

The Environmental Working Group’s study commissioned five laboratories to examine the umbilical cord blood of 10 babies of African-American, Hispanic and Asian heritage and found more than 200 chemicals in each newborn.

“We know the developing fetus is one of the most vulnerable populations, if not the most vulnerable, to environmental exposure,” said Anila Jacobs, EWG senior scientist. “Their organ systems aren’t mature and their detox methods are not in place, so cord blood gives us a good picture of exposure during this most vulnerable time of life”…More…

Western Diets Turn on Fat Genes (PhysOrg)

Those extra helpings of gravy and dessert at the holiday table are even less of a help to your waistline than previously thought. According to a new research report recently appearing online in The FASEB Journal, a diet that is high in fat and in sugar actually switches on genes that ultimately cause our bodies to store too much fat. This means these foods hit you with a double-whammy as the already difficult task of converting high-fat and high-sugar foods to energy is made even harder because these foods also turn our bodies into “supersized fat-storing” machines…More…

Can Cleft Palate Be Healed Before Birth? (PhysOrg)

In a study newly published in the journal Development, investigators at the USC School of Dentistry describe how to non-surgically reverse the onset of cleft palate in fetal mice – potentially one step in the journey to a better understanding of similar defects in humans…More…

     My muse taps me on the shoulder.  “Hey, you need to sit your butt in the chair and write.” 

     “I will, as soon as the dogs go out, the dishes are done, the bathroom is clean, the kitchen floor mopped, and I have a moment or two.”

     “No, no, no.  You need to do it now.”  She points to the desk.

     “Easy for you to say.  The dogs aren’t poking you, the dirt isn’t screaming obscenities at you, and the dust bunnies aren’t flipping you the bird and laughing.”  I stand with my hands on my hips and glare at her.  “If I sit down and work, are you going to clean for me?”

     “No, that’s not my job.”

     “Figures.”

     Gavin rattles his food dish.

     “Could you feed the dogs?”

     “Again, not my job.”

     I pick up the dog bowls.  Then I clean the water dishes, put in fresh water, carry the food dishes to the back porch, and scoop food into them. 

     “What are doing?  You said you’d sit down and write.”

     I point at the clock.  “The big hand is on twelve, the little hand is on five, it’s their dinnertime.”

     “Can’t they wait?”

     Gavin begins to scold so I have to yell over him.  “What do you think?” 

     Patty joins the chorus.  I hurry to stir warm water into their kibble so I can set the bowls down for them.

     My muse has covered her ears by this time.  “What?”

     “I said…oh, never mind.  I’ll see you sometime around seven.”

I am teaching a class on Saturday and was asked by the host to research material on MS and essential oils. So, I thought I would share with you what I found.

MS is an autoimmune disease in which the immune system attacks and gradually destroys the myelin sheath (which covers and insulates the nerves) and the underlying nerve fibers of the central nervous system. This destruction of the myelin sheath interferes with the communication between the brain and the rest of the body. Symptoms of MS include partial or complete loss of vision, tingling, burning, pain in parts of the body, tremors,, loss of coordination, unsteady gait, dizziness, and memory problems.

Nutrition for Multiple Sclerosis (MS)

Our bodies must replace the damaged myelin with scleroses (scar tissue), rather than new myelin. Lecithin and essential fatty acids (EO Mega is part of doTERRA’s Life Long Wellness Kit) are two important “raw materials” of myelin, along with other nutritional supplements and a very healthy, and a low-fat diet.

Take high-quality, high-potency, vitamin and mineral supplements, to provide your body with the building blocks to build my overall health and to provide the raw materials needed to rebuild/replace damaged myelin.

Essential Oils for Multiple Sclerosis (MS)

Essential oils are used widely for the treatment of multiple sclerosis (MS) due to their therapeutic properties. They are used as an alternative to other multiple sclerosis treatments like medications. They have a soothing and calming effect on the central nervous system.

A massage with essential oils may give you a wonderful experience of relaxation. Due to the healing properties of essential oils they help in reducing some of the multiple sclerosis symptoms. Some essential oils have the ability to pass the blood brain barrier, making them effective in the treatment of multiple sclerosis. The essential oils used for treating multiple sclerosis include:

Basil Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Basil essential oil is very beneficial in the treatment of nervous disorders like multiple sclerosis. By clearing the mind and giving mental strength, basil essential oil reduces fatigue, one of the multiple sclerosis symptoms. By bringing clarity, it helps in increasing the concentration. Basil essential oil also helps in relieving headaches, arthritis, migraines, nausea, gout, allergies and muscular pains.

Basil has anti-spasmodic activity that relaxes muscles. It may also help with gastrointestinal problems, poor memory, and mental fatigue while helping one maintain an open mind.

Clary Sage Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Clary Sage Essential oil has a calming effect on nervous system. Due to its calming and sedating effect on the nerves, it is used in the treatment of multiple sclerosis. Clary Sage essential oil, when diluted in a bath or blended in massage oil, helps reduce muscle pains and release nervous tension. It can also be used in treatment of anxiety, depression, insomnia, menstruation problems and stress.

Cypress Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Cypress essential oil also has a calming and soothing effect on nerves. And because of this reason cypress essential oil is used for multiple sclerosis. It also helps to reduce muscle pains associated with multiple sclerosis. Cypress essential oil is used to treat variety of other conditions like asthma, arthritis, menopause, heavy menstruation, diarrhea and cellulite.

Cypress improves circulation and relieves spasms and swelling. It is used for its anti-bacterial, anti-infectious, anti-microbial and diuretic properties.

Rosemary Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Rosemary is analgesic, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and an anitoxidant. It may also help with nervous exhaustion and stimulate the immune system.

Thyme Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Thyme is highly anti-microbial and is used for its ability to support the immune system by attacking any bacteria, fungus, infection, or virus that may be present. It may also help one overcome fatigue and physical weakness after an illness.

Marjoram Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Marjoram essential oil is found to be very beneficial in cases of nervous tension due to its warming action. It can either be diluted in bath or blended with massage oil or even used in vapor therapy. Marjoram essential oil can also relieve multiple sclerosis symptoms like muscle pains due to its muscle relaxant properties. It has beneficial action on asthma, bronchitis, sinusitis, colds and flu, headaches and painful periods.

Marjoram is anti-spasmodic. It is used to relax spastic muscles, migraine headaches, soothe the nerves, relieve cramps, aches and pains, and to help calm the respiratory system. Also supplies energy during times of stress and weakness.

Peppermint Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Peppermint essential oil is also beneficial in treatment nervous disorders. It is excellent for relieving mental fatigue, a symptom associated with multiple sclerosis. It is also very effective in stimulating mind and thereby improving concentration. It can also be used for relieving headaches, muscle pains, constipation and diarrhea.

Peppermint has pain-killing properties and is anti-microbial. It is used to calm and strengthen the nerves, reduces inflammation, and is highly effective when dealing with conditions related to the respiratory system. Peppermint is also shown to reduce fevers, nausea and vomiting. It also stimulates the conscious mind and enhances mental retention. Peppermint has a synergistic and enhancing effect on all other oils.

Oregano Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Oregano is anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory. It works in conjunction with Thyme to strengthen the immune system and to attack bacteria and viruses. It may also help balance metabolism and strengthen the vital centers of the body.

Birch/Wintergreen Essential Oil for Multiple Sclerosis

Birch/Wintergreen is highly anti-inflammatory so it is great for removing discomfort associated with the inflammation of bones, muscles, and joints. It may help with arthritis and rheumatism and also help cleanse the lymphatic system.

These essential oils can be used alone or in combination with other essential oils. For example: You can apply 4-6 drops each of your choice of an essential oil listed above along the spine. You can also apply 2-3 drops each of cypress and rosemary essential oil to the back of neck.

Oils can be used in a diffuser, inhaled by hand, or applied to spine, back of neck and feet.

The oils can also be added to the AromaTouch Technique (a touch technique that aids the absorption of essential oils into the Central Nervous System).

Nothing on this page has been approved by the FDA and is not intended to replace the medical advice of your Healthcare Professional.

     First, I hate thunderstorms.  Second, a December thunderstorm is a rare occurrence here.  So not having watched the news tonight, I wasn’t prepared. 

     I’d taken one step out of the bedroom when there were two very loud BOOMS.  You know those cartoons, where the cat is frightened, and the next thing you see is it hanging from the ceiling by its claws?  Yep, if I were a cat, that would’ve been me.

     I know I wasn’t the only who was startled too.  The two little dogs next door were raising hell.  What about my two, you ask.  They were snoring.  However, let someone walk by rattling keys or making some other trivial noise, and the pups will raise the roof.

     Then there’s the rain.  It has been pouring for hours.  If this were snow, I’d be shoveling forever.  I’m glad it’s rain.

While “visiting” an online M.S. forum earlier in the week, reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances, I came across a posting from an M.S. patient, comparing herself to a runaway “stage” coach (referencing the various stages of grief and/or emotions she faces on a regular basis while living a life with M.S.).  On another discussion thread, the following description of the stages of dealing with M.S. was posted.  I thought this was great information to share with all of you. 

Stages of Dealing with M.S.

1.   Admit–admit you have M.S. to yourself

2.   Acknowledge–disclose to others that you have M.S.

3.   Accommodate–accommodate your actions to the requirements of the disease

4.   Adapt–moves from reaction to action, and environment is modified if necessary

Opposite Reactions to the 4 “A” Stages

1.   Admit…………………Deny

2.   Acknowledge……..Conceal

3.   Accommodate…….Resist

4.   Adapt…………………Resign

In the coming days and weeks we’ll “discuss” each of these stages individually, since I’m certain readers have strong viewpoints on each.

An insight on comedy and never taking life too seriously.

Everything I do if for my Momma! She is the bestest, sweetest, most saccharine, giddy, smiley, goofy, sarcastic, facetious, fun-loving, curious, warm, sweetie-pie-gone-crazy Mom that anyone could ever ask for!

She spent a decade with MS, which ultimately put her in a nursing home, at which, we’d watch the Ellen Show! I’d dance for her on the side of, end of, and on her bed and she’d laugh. I did anything in my power to make her laugh so hard that she may forget where she was. She taught me how to walk, talk, make funny faces, and she taught me how to laugh…at everything, at the world, and mostly at myself……She survived Hurricane Katrina, new nursing home, but unfortunately didn’t survive Multiple Sclerosis. Miss you loads!

Momma always urged me to follow my dreams, and this one is one I will strive my butt off to attain!

I love you Momma!

The Afghan insurrection is a bitch and Tiger Woods seems to have some explaining to do. If he IS a cheating husband, and I’m sure the the retiring Oprah would agree, Tiger’s wife would be the only person entitled to any information from Tige. It looks like the cops have left Tiger alone and simply ticketed the allegedly errant husband. The rest of us should do the same and say, “I’d rather hear stuff about the unbeaten New Orleans Saints and hope to God that they annihilate Minnesota in the Super Bowl.

Now, I suppose I’ve already disappointed many searchers out there but even though I may have already jumped the shark, I think I’ll even pick on President Obama a bit…not because he’s irritated me at all, he hasn’t. I even got a kick out of his pardon of turkeys Courage and Carolina. Where did Courage come from? I don’t know. I just know that I enjoy Presidential Turkey Pardons and have ever since George Bush the 1rst made it a official function of our Commander-in-Chief. That’s pretty neat stuff…as Miley Cyrus and her father Billy Cyrus would say.

You know, I watched the Perky One on CBS News last night and I was amazed at how tiny her eyes were. Also, I was brow furrowed by the way Katie Couric wore her glasses…for the Republican Senator, she didn’t wear glasses but for the next guy, she did. What’s up with that? In the Emergency Department of Olympic Hospital they have TV’s that you can pull really close to your face so you would think that a big network news show could figure out a way to either, put crap closer to Couric or just leave the glasses ON and back everything the hell up. I don’t know if she has myopia, presbyopia, astigmatism or a tic that involves putting glasses on…but one of the Top 3 Networks should be able to pull that one off. They could even have the South Park show animators draw a pair of glasses on her face so she doesn’t look quite so schizophrenic.

You may have noticed that I am trying to see how many searches find their was here because of all of the iconic, social and entertainment references that I’m haphazardly stringing together here. Now I am going to bask in the land of porn so you have been warned, skip this paragraph if you want to…it’s something that Craigslist would most likely have flagged for removal (cowards that they can be…or maybe they’re just lazy, I haven’t figured it out yet.) Anyway, for some odd reason that I cannot POSSIBLY fathom…and I have given FAR too much thought to fathoming…people land on my blog by searching pussy worms. I don’t get that. I did worms on my ceiling once, but never pussy worms. Also, I get a lot of hits from people who search for “women who like to suck pussy”. I don’t really get that. The only pussy I have ever sucked is this one:

…See? Why should men or women obsessed with pussy come here? I discuss pussy’s, dicks and the late Michael Jackson almost as often as I discuss penis’s, men on men sex or lesbianism…and that’s not too often. But still, perverts of all persuasions find their way to Divorcing Rick Kelso. I get submissive, dominant, sado-masochist, great ass lovers as well as huge natural tit aficionados. Oh well, what goes on between consenting adults behind closed doors…

Sometimes I understand the searches. I get a lot of, ‘wife gets revenge on husband’, how much anti-freeze does it take to kill a man’? and ‘Lorena Bobbitt: Where is she now?’ I even understand the searches for deformed penis pictures, after all, I discussed my ex’s messed up member a LOT.

Sadly, there seem to be an inordinate number of ‘My husband left me when I got Multiple Sclerosis’ which explains the searches for ‘How to hide a dead husband”.

Anyway, That’s about it for now, but before I go, I need to annoy people who deserved to be annoyed:

Star Trek Conventions

Van Wilder 3

Greenhouse gasses, global warming and gay marriage

Angelina Jolie

Chelsea Clinton’s fiancé

Where’s Waldo?

Where is Carrot-top performing?

Donny Osmond should have won Dancing with the Stars

Will there be another Rocky movie?

Find your local KKK meeting

The new Windex is yellow, can I still use it on my windows?

Bi-sexual college sluts

Bi-curious men

OK, I’m done for now. If you happen to think of other worthy searches, please, don’t hesitate to put them in the comments section!

And that’s the way it is.

-Walter Cronkite

Oooh…I almost forgot…camel-toe.

December 2, 2009 – New Jersey is poised to become the next state to allow residents to use marijuana, when recommended by a doctor, for relief from serious diseases and medical conditions.

The state Senate has approved the bill and the state Assembly is expected to follow. The legislation would then head to the governor’s office for his signature.

Gov. Jon Corzine, the Democrat who lost his re-election bid last month, has indicated he would sign the bill if it reaches his desk before he leaves office in January. It would likely be one of Mr. Corzine’s last acts before relinquishing the job to Republican Chris Christie.

Mr. Christie has indicated he would be supportive of such legislation, but had concerns that one draft of a bill he read didn’t have enough restrictions, a spokeswoman said.

The bill has been endorsed by the New Jersey Academy of Family Physicians and the New Jersey State Nurses Association.

Some lawmakers oppose the legislation, saying they fear the proliferation of marijuana dispensaries, as in California, where medical marijuana is legal. “It sends a mixed message to our children if you can walk down the street and see pot shops,” said Republican Assemblywoman Mary Pat Angelini.

Federal law bars the use of marijuana. But legislatures in several states, including California, Colorado, Michigan, New Mexico, Rhode Island and Vermont, permit use of the drug for medical purposes. Attorney General Eric Holder said earlier this year that federal prosecutors wouldn’t prosecute people complying with state medical marijuana laws.

The New Jersey bill would allow people with debilitating medical conditions to grow, possess and use marijuana for personal use, provided that a physician allows it after completing a full assessment of the patient’s history and condition. The conditions that are stipulated in the Senate bill include cancer, glaucoma and human immunodeficiency viruses.

State Sen. Nicholas Scutari, a Democrat who has led the fight for the medical-marijuana bill, said that was not a final list. He said the Senate bill would have to be reconciled with whatever the Assembly might pass.

Support for the legislation stems partly from sympathy for the plight of John Ray Wilson, a New Jersey resident who suffers from multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disease that affects the central nervous system. Mr. Wilson is scheduled to go on trial in December on felony drug charges, including operating a drug-production facility and manufacturing drugs. State police said they found 17 mature marijuana plants growing alongside his home in 2008. He has pleaded not guilty.

The Superior Court judge who will oversee the case has barred Mr. Wilson from explaining to the jury that he uses marijuana for his multiple sclerosis instead of more conventional medicines, which he said he can’t afford, since he has no medical insurance.

If convicted, Mr. Wilson faces up to 20 years in prison. “It definitely helps for pain,” Mr. Wilson said. “Stress can bring MS on. And I’m definitely under some stress.”

David Wald, a spokesman for the state attorney general, which is arguing the state’s position, said: “We’re prosecuting the law.”

At least two lawmakers, including Mr. Scutari, have asked Mr. Corzine to pardon Mr. Wilson. “I think it’s unfair,” said Mr. Scutari. “To try to incarcerate him for years and years doesn’t serve a good government function.”

The governor’s office said it wouldn’t comment on pardons involving an ongoing case.

Mr. Wilson’s case hasn’t persuaded Ms. Angelini, who voted against it in the health committee. As the executive director of Prevention First, an antidrug and antiviolence nonprofit, she said she was concerned that the bill would open the door for more liberal drug policies.

“If the drug laws are lax,” she said, “that can open it up to eventual drug legalization.”

By SUZANNE SATALINE. Source.

     One of the reasons I look forward to Dear Hubby taking off for a week is that I can cook things for me that he doesn’t like.  Two years have passed since I’ve made tuna noodle casserole.  I made it tonight.  It didn’t taste as good as I remember.  I guess I can cross that off my list of favorite foods.  My tastes have changed and that was proof.

     The first night DH was gone I made a Crock pot Reuben casserole, now that was good.  I’d tried to interest him in it a few months ago but he turned up his nose.  After I enjoyed a good helping, I packed some (still hot) into a container and took it over to G’s house.  She couldn’t wait to taste it.  She grabbed a spoon, took a taste, and she loved it.  Since she’d already had dinner she then stuck the rest away for her lunch the following day.

     DH no longer has to worry that one day I’ll throw a tuna noodle casserole together when he’s home—he can’t stand tuna.  He’ll be happy to hear this.

I need help. I know I’m in over my head, but I’m determined to make my dream of having an education come true. I’m getting the paperwork ready to appy to Seattle University but I need to have at least $47 000 in the bank to show that I am able to pay for my first year at SU. Right now I don’t even have $100, but I can make it work with some help. I’m looking into scholarship/bursary funds with little luck. I’m not currently enrolled in any programs which  ruins my chances at applying for scholarships/bursaries right now.

I know that I am entirely responsible for my current situation and that I have no one to blame but myself, but I wish I could really start over. I really want an education. Please. Anyone out there in cyberspace have any advice?

White-coat syndrome, right? Well, that’s what I thought, too. I mean, face it: Doctors haven’t exactly been handing out good news like lollipops to me in the past year or so. I say, who could blame me for getting a case of the heebie-jeebies whenever somebody with a stethoscope slung around their neck approaches? Am I right?  

Nope. Probably not. Dammit.

See, I’ve got these pesky “risk factors” swarming around like gnats. Family history. A waistline that won’t quit. And an exercise regimen that somehow draped an inch of dust on the basement treadmill.

Considering how out of shape I’ve become, it went better than I expected. I even exceeded my goal time by 11 minutes. If I keep at it, my endurance and speed will improve. I know this from past experience. What I do not know, though, is what effect time will have on the persistent numbness and tingling in my feet.

Last summer, the initial bout of MS-related numbness consumed most of my right side. Then, after a month or so, it went away as quickly as it showed up. What remained was an occasional tingling in my right thigh (and sometimes foot), which I feel only during sustained exercise. It’s there, for example, most mornings when Roxy and I go for a walk.

And, as I’ve learned in the past two days, it’s there when I use the treadmill. After about a half-hour, both feet feel like lumps that have been struck by a tuning fork. That’s the best way I can think to describe it. Heavy and ringing.

Actually, Lorrie Moore inadvertently describes it pretty well in “A Gate at the Stairs”:

I would get out of bed with the scary meat-step of a foot that had gone to sleep and toenails that had loosened oddly, lost a firm grip on the actual toe… (p. 213)

Perfect.

Anyway, I was discouraged at first by the tingling. But I’ve decided to treat it no differently than my shortness of breath and my ponderous belly — just another wayward part of me that needs to be reclaimed and whipped into shape… one meat-step at a time.

     After more than a decade of capped rates for the generation portion of my bill, the rate cap expires on 12/31/2009.  In other words, our electric company will be hiking their rates.  “Up your’s Mr. or Ms. Average Citizen who is barely keeping your head above water as it is, we are gonna get a bigger piece of you.”

     However, even though we’ll still get two pieces of you, you can now choose who gets that third larger bite out of your ass.  Will it be us?  We guarantee you that your new rate is going to shock and awe you.  Will you go to one of the companies that we aren’t naming right now, later? 

     Later?  Come on, you are giving me less than a month to research rates of companies who I have no idea what they are even named and oh yeah, you really haven’t given me any incentive to stay with you.

     What the $%@&# do you think I’m going to do?  I’m a high class electrical power whore.  I want the company who’s gonna screw me the least.  Wine me, dine me, make me a good offer, and I’ll make you mine.

I don’t really know what I want to say, I just know I miss baby Z today. I  would have been such a dissappointment to her if she’d made it. I really want to change. I’m trying – one day at a time, right? Why is it so hard though? It’s taking everything I have not to just get into bed and cry the entire night away.

I miss her so much… I just wish I’d known before and maybe I could have changed the way things turned out.

Here’s another story about an unusual situation my wife and I encountered while traveling, that happened in part because of Robin’s multiple sclerosis.  

About 15 years ago, Robin and I took a vacation in New Mexico.  We absolutely loved it.  You have to love a state that not only has the roadrunner as its Official State Bird (beep beep!) but also has an Official State Question.  That sounds rather metaphysical, but it really isn’t – the question is “Red or green?” which refers to the color of chili that you want with your food.  New Mexicans being pretty laissez-faire folks, there is no Official State Answer, but many locals we met suggested “Christmas” (i.e., both sauces). 

We used Santa Fe as our base and took side trips to Bandelier National Monument, Taos and Chimayó – beautiful scenery and great food! 

Of course, all good things must end – after 8 days we found ourselves at the Albuquerque airport, waiting for our Southwest Airlines flight back to LA.  Robin wasn’t in a wheelchair at this time, but she used a quad cane to walk. 

When you’re disabled (or flying with someone who is), you get to “pre-board.”  George Carlin once asked, “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”  To compound the linguistic obfuscation, the pre-boarding announcements tend to use vague euphemisms for disability like “those passengers requiring special assistance.”  Hey, I’ve got your “special assistance” right here buddy. 

Anyway, to make sure we could pre-board easily, we got to the airport ridiculously early… at least by 1994 standards.  Post 9/11, everyone has to get there ridiculously early. 

Robin and I took the first 2 seats next to the gate entrance and waited.  We were talking when I became aware of a large, older man who was slowly approaching the gate.  He was about 6 foot 4 and appeared to be Indian – East Indian, not Navajo or Hopi as you’d expect to see in the Albuquerque airport.  This gentleman definitely caught my attention – not only was he tall and hefty, he had a long, flowing beard and was wearing a turban and a gleaming white robe.  An emerald-cut ruby, about the size of a deck of cards, hung from a gold chain around his neck.  He supported himself with a gold-tipped walking stick. 

All of that would have made him pretty hard to miss.  But he wasn’t traveling alone.  Far from it – he had an entourage of about 3 dozen men and women with him.  Almost none of them appeared to be East Indian.  They were Caucasian and much younger than him too – in their 20s and 30s.  However, by far the most noticeable thing about this group was their attire – they were dressed in the distinctive “uniform” of Sikh Dharma.

How did I know that?  Well, I used to be a vegetarian (why I became one in 1974 and why I stopped in 1984 are stories for another post).  When I moved to Los Angeles in 1976, The Golden Temple of Conscious Cookery – run by folks from Sikh Dharma – became one of my favorite vegetarian restaurants.  The Golden Temple was located in the Fairfax District, where lots of Orthodox Jews live.  It was quite interesting to watch the 2 groups mingling along 3^rd Street – the Jews in black and the Sikhs in white.

The garb worn by this entourage was, as I said, distinctive.  For the women:

• An elongated, cylindrical form of turban – let’s just say you wouldn’t want them to sit in front of you at the movies
• White or pale yellow tunics over long, loose-fitting skirts or pants
• Cowboy boots (a New Mexican touch, I presumed)
• Rings and other jewelry adorned with gemstones

For the men:

• A more traditional, helmet-like turban
• White or pale yellow kaftans over loose-fitting pants
• Socks and sandals (clearly, not a New Mexican touch – more reminiscent of pasty English tourists on the Costa Brava)
• Rings and other jewelry adorned with gemstones
• A ceremonial dagger

This dagger, the kirpan, is 1 of 5 visible symbols of being a Sikh.  It was also, even back in 1994, a visible source of concern to airport security.  The guards were firm but respectful – you cannot wear daggers on a plane.  There was a brouhaha as the kirpans were collected and inspected, and the security guards tried to reassure the men that they would return them upon arrival in Los Angeles.

I watched this scene unfold and noticed that the group had divided into order-givers and order-takers.  The order-takers fluttered around, kowtowing to the order-givers, who in turn fawned over the big guy with the big ruby, who didn’t say much.

Robin was not amused by this spectacle.  “Who the @#$% are these people?” she whispered to me.  “The women look like Coneheads.”
 

I had to laugh.  “Funny, it reminds me of something out of Gilbert & Sullivan.”  By now their leader was standing only a few feet away from us.  I motioned with my head in his direction and whispered, “He’s ‘Pooh-Bah’ from The Mikado.”

A Southwest Airlines employee made the pre-boarding announcement.  As I turned to help Robin stand up, Pooh-Bah began shuffling towards the gate entrance.  He was cutting ahead of us in line!

Robin and I looked at each other… both of our jaws dropping.  Given his physical stature, this guy was pretty intimidating.  I let him just barely pass us and then grabbed Robin’s arm.  I maneuvered her as close to Pooh-Bah as I could, cutting him off from his inner circle of acolytes.  We got some nasty glares from a few of the turbaned men, but I refused to budge.  “Not so tough without your daggers, are you?” I thought.

We handed over our boarding passes and headed down the jet way bridge towards the plane.  I tried my best to keep us between Pooh-Bah and his minions, but eventually one very earnest fellow passed us.

The cabin was configured so that the first 2 rows of seats were facing each other.  Pooh-Bah and his eager underling took the adjoining forward-facing seats.  I hate sitting backwards on anything that’s moving, but nevertheless I squeezed into the inner seat, facing Pooh-Bah, and Robin sat in the aisle seat.

This seating arrangement is not especially comfortable under normal conditions; it was much less so for me that day, being knee-to-knee with this tall, stocky man.  As the plane filled, members of Pooh-Bah’s retinue continued to scurry about, directed by whispered commands from his de facto aide-de-camp.  Luggage and parcels were being shuffled around different overhead compartments in what seemed to be a random manner, but everyone involved acted as if it were some sort of solemn ritual.  This kerfuffle went on for so long that it delayed the departure, which didn’t exactly endear the group to their fellow passengers or the flight attendants.

Finally, we took off.  I strained to get one final glimpse of New Mexico through the small window of the plane.  Robin’s attention was focused elsewhere.  Her birthday is in July, so her birthstone is the ruby and she couldn’t take her eyes off of the humongous one that was resting on Pooh-Bah’s chest.

This did not escape Pooh-Bah’s notice.  He smiled beatifically at Robin, touched the gem with his index finger and said, “This… this is just a trinket.  They,” gesturing towards his followers seated in the rows behind him, “are the real jewels.”

I found it hard to take that comment seriously… it reminded me of when a woman receives a compliment on her dress and says “What, this old rag?”

When we reached cruising altitude, Robin removed her quad cane from beneath the seat, where she’d stowed it for takeoff.

Pooh-Bah pointed his finger at it and proclaimed “No good!”

Robin was taken aback. “I need it to walk,” she said.

Pooh-Bah wagged his finger.  “4 points… no good!”  Then, he held up his walking stick.  “A single point on the earth,” he declared profoundly.

Robin gave me a slight poke with her elbow.  I turned towards her and she rolled her eyes.

A moment later, Pooh-Bah solemnly announced, “There are 3 things that you must do in life.”

In The Beatles Anthology, Paul McCartney relates the following anecdote, which occurred during The Beatles visit to Rishikesh, India:
“Once he [Maharishi Mahesh Yogi] had to get into New Delhi, and a helicopter came to the camp and landed on the beach down by the river.  We all traipsed down in our kaftans and then it was: ‘One of you can go up for a quick ride with Maharishi.  Who’s it going to be?’ And, of course, it was John.  I asked him later, ‘Why were you so keen to get up with Maharishi?’—‘To tell you the truth,’ he said, ‘I thought he might slip me the Answer.”  That was very John!”¹

So there I was, high over Albuquerque on a jet to the Promised Land, having my own version of a helicopter ride with the Maharishi.  What the heck, I thought, and leaned in – the better to hear what the 3 things that you must do in life were.

“You must walk,” he said, and tapped his stick on the carpet.

I leaned in a little closer.

“You must talk… and”

I looked him directly in the eyes.

“…you must say nothing.”

Appropriately, Robin and I sat in silence for most of the remainder of the flight.

So… what have we learned?

• Consider the source… what sort of spiritual insight would you expect from a guy who butts in line in front of a disabled woman.
• Don’t bother about “the Answer” until you figure out what “the Question” is.

When in New Mexico, that Question remains “Red or green?”

Later…

1. Copyright © Apple Corps Ltd. 2000

P.S.  For any readers who think that I’m out of line, mocking people’s religion:

1. I didn’t mock the religion, I mocked people’s behavior – what they said and how they acted.  Yes, I also took a few cheap shots at how they dressed.
2. Sikh Dharma is an organization that many Sikhs view skeptically.  Don’t take my word for this, read the following article about Pooh-Bah from Time Magazine:
   http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,915413,00.html