Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone paid a Lengthy Visit to the Home of American Music Star Rihanna, who has been Beset with Unwanted Publicity after skipping the Grammy Awards under the Cloud of an alleged Domestic Violence Incident with her Significant Other, Chris Brown.

Murray and Rihanna have a History Together, but both of their Publicists Insisted that the Visit was intended to give Comfort to Rihanna during this Stress-Filled Time. Murray, who is currently Linked Romantically to American Actress Hayden Panettiere, has a Reputation as a Philanderer, but is also Known to be a Strong and Loyal Friend. Murray’s Reported Trysts with Rihanna were Dismissed by Brown last Year as not Threatening to himself or their Relationship.

Still, Police are Investigating a possible Long History of Violence betwixt the Two; meanwhile, those coming to the Defence of Brown are making every Effort to Turn the Tables and blame Rihanna for Brown’s Actions. This is a Common Part of the Cycle of Violence and Denial seen in Abusive Relationships.

–The Minister of Gossip–

American Actress Hayden Panettiere was Thrown Out of a New York City Nightclub last Month, the Tabloids have reported. She is only 19, and was in a Club whose Minimum Age Requirement was 21 (due to Strict American Laws regarding Alcohol Consumption). Bouncers escorted her Out and Confiscated her Identification, making her very Angry. She eventually had Police step in to Resolve the Matter and return her ID (though she was not allowed Back Inside).

Hayden’s Significant Other, Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone had been able to gain Entrance for the young Star into the Club due to his Status, but as Bouncers had been Instructed to Crack Down on Under-Aged Access, Murray’s Influence ultimately had No Effect on the Situation. The Two instead enjoyed a Vegetarian Meal at a Nearby Restaurant.

–The Minister of Gossip

The Belgian Controller of Cat Records and Director of Benign Intentions has Noted that King Albert II celebrated Christmas today at the Royal Palace in the Belgian Tradition with his Daughter, Belgian Cat Princess Ophelia. Belgian Ambassador Armondo Blanco was also in Attendance. Chansonnier Cadenza Vieuxtemps performed Musical Renditions of Christmas Favourites at the Ceremony.

Flemish Separatist and Belgian Cat Elton Jansen Celebrated the Holiday at a Public Gathering in Bruxelles. Professor Nanu of the University of Brussels also attended the same Gathering.

Celebrity Belgian Cat and Mountaineer Rocky Rhodes dressed as Sinterklaas and handed out Gifts to Children at an Event in Brugge. Meanwhile, Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone exchanged Gifts in Private with American Actress Hayden Panettiere.

–The Minister of Culture–

Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone and his Significant Other, American Television star Hayden Panettiere, were out Celebrating the Holiday Season this Week by Ice Skating at Pershing Square in Downtown Los Angeles.

The Couple, which has been Avoiding the Paparazzi of Late by keeping to Themselves (and generating Speculation about more Philandering by Murray, who has a Reputation), looked Happy and seemed to be having a Great Deal of Fun during their Outing. Observers said that after their Stint at the Ice Rink, they couple Darted Off to Beverly Hills to do some Holiday Shopping.

-*-The Minister of Gossip-*-

American Actress Hayden Panettiere has appeared in a Satirical New Public Service Announcement which was directed by Belgian Cat and Film Director Gris Gris.

In the Spot, Panettiere, known for her Role in the Television Show “Heroes” as well as for her Activism relating to Progressive Causes, jokingly Suggests that Viewers vote for Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain, in particular because he is generally considered Elderly. She also Predicts that McCain’s Policies would not Stray from the current Policies of President George W. Bush, who is suffering from Record Levels of Unpopularity in the Country. No Mention is made of McCain’s Democratic rival Barack Obama, nor any other Presidential Candidates.

Gris Gris, whose latest Film has come under Fire with a Threatened Boycott by Right-Wing Activists in America, is known to be a Close Acquaintance of Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone – who has been Romantically Linked with Panettiere in recent Months.

**The Minister of Culture**

Belgian Cat Murray Malone continued his Wooing of Miss Hayden Panettiere last week. Witnesses say the Jet-Set Socialite landed his Personal Airplane at a Private Airstrip in the New York City area and Whisked the Hollywood Hottie away to Europe for some Sight-Seeing and other Fun and Adventurous Activities.

Panettiere, who just turned 19 two weeks Prior, is the Latest in a long Line of Ladies linked with Mr Malone. Her television program, “Heroes,” is set to debut its 3rd Season next Week. Rumour has it that Murray and Hayden planned this Getaway between her Busy Birthday Celebrations and Media Tours for her Show.

A Quote from the Pilot of Murray’s Airplane claims that the Couple would be headed to Greece, but thus far no Sightings have been Reported along the Mediterranean.

**The Minister of Gossip**

Just a Simple Link today – here is a Song by Peter Himmelman from a few Years Back, paying Homage to Belgian Cat and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone.

–The Minister of Culture.

After word spread that Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone was Spotted in Amsterdam with his Arm around Superstar Pop Singer Rihanna, our favourite recently-retired Tennis Great Justine Henin was Quick to Put an End to all Speculation about her Keeping Company with Murray.

“We waren samen, maar het is meer dan nu. Het is gedaan,” Justine stated emphatically, adding, “Hij is een lul!”

Witnesses in a Bruges Cafe said that the Break-Up was a Publick One, with some reporting that Justine even smacked Murray in the Face; others said she merely Tossed a Glass of Water on him. Either way, it was Quite a Scene.

Justine may be Heart-Broken, or just Bitter, but Murray moves on (as Usual) – he has already made Appearances at two recent Rihanna Concerts. Both of their Spokes-Persons, of course, deny any Hanky-Panky between the Two.

–The Minister of Gossip.

Tennis Superstar Justine Henin and Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone were Spotted once Again by Eagle-Eyed Celebrity-Watchers, this time on the French Riviera. Reports have them Cuddling, but not necessarily Kissing, and some Photographs have Surfaced.

Rumours have also Surfaced that the two showed up at a Party thrown by Belgian Film Director Gris-Gris in Cannes after the Film Festival there – but those in Attendance were strictly Close Friends of the Director (As Murray is Known to Be), and they have all been Quite Mum about whom or what they may have Seen.

And so, These Blurry Photos are the Best Evidence we can Give you at the Moment. Justine’s Publicist has decried them as “Inconclusive” – but you be the judge!

–The Minister of Gossip–

Newly retired Belgian Tennis Star Justine Henin has been linked with Jet-Set Socialite Murray Malone in Recent Days. Numerous Gossips have reportedly Spotted the pair Canoodling in semi-Private Locales – but it is difficult to remain Private when you’ve got Murray Malone on your Arm and his Entourage of Paparazzi on your Heels. The two apparently met at a Fancy Party late last Year and became Fast Friends, but Murray was at that time linked with the beautiful Chansonnier Cadenza Vieuxtemps. That Pair has since Split (amicably, or so say their Publicists), and Murray, not one to remain Single for Long, has apparently Moved On to the sexy Tennis Star Justine, who split from her Husband early last year. No news as to whether this new Coupling is linked to Henin’s recent Retirement, which sent Shock-Waves throughout the Tennis Community.

–The Minister of Gossip.