listen here.

July, July! :: The Decemberists
4th of July :: X
Stars N’ Stripes :: Grant Lee Buffalo
Automatic Systematic Habit :: Garbage
Dirty Little Secret :: The All-American Rejects
Never Gonna Leave This Bed :: Maroon 5
Fourth of July :: Galaxie 500
Paradise by the Dashboard Light :: Meatloaf
Fell in Love with a Girl :: The White Stripes
I’m Like a Bird (acoustic) :: Nelly Furtado
I’m Not Sleeping :: Counting Crows
Sunset in July :: 311
All Summer Long :: Kid Rock
Boyfriend :: Best Coast
Young Folks :: Peter, Bjorn & John
Deeper Shade of Soul :: Urban Dance Squad
Sex and Candy :: Marcy’s Playground
Eternal Flame :: The Bangles
4th of July :: Aimee Mann
Santa Monica :: Everclear
Re-Offender :: Travis
4th of July :: Ani DiFranco
I Belong to You :: Lenny Kravitz
Orange Sky :: Alexi Murdoch
Lost Cause :: Beck
4th of July :: U2
Just Like Heaven :: The Cure
Firework :: Katy Perry
July Flame :: Laura Veirs
Sixteen in July :: The Avett Brothers

Listen here.

Payphone :: Maroon 5 & Wiz Khalifa
Somebody That I Used to Know :: Gotye & Kimbra
Nothing  Better :: The Postal Service
Pacific Coast Highway :: Hole
Cough Syrup :: Young The Giant
Dance Again :: Jennifer Lopez & Pitbull
Tonight (I’m Fuckin’ You) :: Enrique Inglesis & Ludacris & DJ Frank E
Talk That Talk :: Rhianna & Jay Z
Rockaway Beach :: Ramones
You Make My Dreams Come True :: Hall & Oates
Live to Rise :: Soundgarden
Just Breathe :: Pearl Jam
Leather & Lace :: Stevie Nicks & Don Henley
Video Games :: Lana Del Rey
Sail :: Macy Gray
Move Along :: The All-American Rejects
All I Want :: Toad The Wet Sprocket
Into the Ocean :: Blue October
All Your Life :: The Band Perry
Ours :: Taylor Swift
Drive By :: Train
Dear Jessie :: Madonna
Club Tropicana :: Wham!
Put Your Graffiti On Me :: Kat Graham
Love Removal Machine :: The Cult
Ladyfingers :: Luscious Jackson
Rosie’s Lullaby :: Norah Jones
Iris :: The Goo Goo Dolls
Wide Awake :: Katy Perry
Never Surrender :: Corey Hart

Listen here.

Last Request :: Paolo Nutini
Come Away With Me :: Norah Jones
What You Know :: Two Door Cinema Club
Halo :: Beyonce
Glitter & Gold :: Rebecca Ferguson
Diamonds on the Inside :: Ben Harper
Blue Jean :: David Bowie
A Real Hero :: College & Electric Youth
Only in my Dreams :: Debbie Gibson
Maybe I’m Amazed :: Jem
Island in the Sun :: Weezer
Pictures of Matchstick Men :: Camper Van Beethoven
Teardrop :: Jose Gonzalez
A Horse with No Name :: America
Turning Page :: Sleeping At Last
Sailing :: Christopher Cross
The Sea :: Morcheeba
Who’s that Girl? :: Madonna
California King Bed :: Rihanna
Just the Way You Are :: Bruno Mars
When You Were Young :: The Killers
Coles Corner :: Richard Hawley
California Girls :: David Lee Roth
Better Together :: Jack Johnson
Beyond the Sea :: Bobby Darin
Love Story :: Taylor Swift
Big Sur :: The Thrills
Queen of California :: John Mayer
(Sittin’ On) the Dock of the Bay :: Otis Redding
The Boys of Summer :: Don Henley

Listen here

Rainy Days & Mondays :: The Carpenters
Northern Downpour :: Panic At The Disco
Walking In the Rain :: The Ronettes
It Will Rain :: Bruno Mars
Rain King :: Counting Crows
Waiting for the Sun :: The Doors
Dry the Rain :: The Beta Band
I Wish it Would Rain Down :: Phil Collins
November Rain :: Guns N’ Roses
Kingdom of Rain :: The The & Sinead O’Connor
Why Does it Always Rain On Me? :: Travis
Shelter From the Storm :: Bob Dylan
Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain :: Willie Nelson
Dirty Rain :: Ryan Adams
Famous Blue Raincoat :: Leonard Cohen
Fire & Rain :: Birdy
Raining in Athens :: Azure Ray
So. Central Rain :: R.E.M.
Only Happy When It Rains :: Garbage
Box of Rain :: The Grateful Dead
Here Comes the Rain Again :: Eurythmics
Rain :: Madonna
Rain City :: Turin Brakes
I Am the Rain :: Peter Doherty
I Wish it Would Rain :: The Temptations
Rain in the Summertime :: The Alarm
Calm Before the Storm :: Fall Out Boy
It’s Raining on Prom Night :: Me Fist & The Gimme Gimmes
Rain :: The Cult
Umbrella :: Rihanna & Jay-Z

“Big deal, you’re happy. You’re never going to make any real money.”
Francis, She’s the One

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I wonder what is more important, money or happiness? It seems simple, right? I mean, we all want to say happiness. But, I have a family, I have children to support and a house to co-run. It is not as if I can play the starving writer because it is what would make me happy, because I would not just be starving myself.

All that said, don’t think for a moment I am not wildly and fiercely jealous of all those who do choose happiness, over money. That kind of struggling, whether realized, is a kind of luxury.

(This is how my mind works. I do not recall this song of the day ever playing in this movie, but it brought me to the movie, to this quote, and to my own inner angst about money/happiness)

She’s the One :: World Party

listen here.

To Build a Home :: The Cinematic Orchestra
Lovers in a Dangerous Time :: Barenaked Ladies
On Your Porch :: The Format
A Dustland Fairytale :: The Killers
Late at Night :: Buffalo Tom
Be Calm :: Fun.
Futures :: Zero 7
Cheree ::Suicide
Mona Lisa’s & Mad Hatter’s :: Mandy Moore
Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright :: Bob Dylan
Make You Feel My Love :: Adele
That’s How I Knew this Story Would Break My Heart :: Aimee Mann
Somebody that I Used to Know :: Gotye & Kimbra
Video Games :: Lana Del Rey
Here’s Looking at You Kid :: The Gaslight Anthem
Paradise :: Coldplay
Werewolf :: Cat Power
Flume :: Bon Iver
Lose You :: Pete Yorn
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road :: Elton John
Delicate :: Damien Rice
The Funeral :: Band Of Horses
Sugar :: Tori Amos
She Talks to Angels :: The Black Crowes
Chery-Blossom Girl :: Air & Hope Sandoval
Fake Plastic Trees :: Radiohead
Time to Pretend :: MGMT
Wasted :: Angus & Julia Stone
You Can Sleep While I Drive :: Melissa Etheridge

“The first show on a tour is like kissing someone for the first time. It’s a kind of wonderful blur. It happens in a flash of blinding light as if time has no weight or meaning and then, suddenly, it’s over. After the initial thrilling, terrifying dive into it, the experience never again has the same intensity. Some of the magic, wired energy slips from your hands – maybe because your nerves have settled – and though you strive to reclaim it every night thereafter, you do settle into a workaday routine of gig after gig.”

~ Juliana Hatfield, from her memoir, When I Grow Up

Spin the Bottle :: Juliana Hatfield Three

“Everybody’s watching,
everybody’s looking.
She is such a sucker,
he don’t want to fuck her.”

Listen here

Friday is Forever :: We Are Kings
Fuck You :: Lily Allen
We are Young :: Fun. & Janelle Monae
Piece of Me :: Britney Spears
Cobrastyle :: Robyn
Give Me All Your Luvin’ :: Madonna, Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.
Oh My God :: Ida Maria
Wake Up Call :: Maroon 5
SexyBack :: Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Suffragette City :: David Bowie
Sexy & I Know It :: LMFAO
Sugar, We’re Goin Down :: Fall Out Boy
Strip :: Adam Ant
Hollywood :: Marina & The Diamonds
I Get Along :: The Libertines
Gives You Hell :: The All-American Rejects
Ballroom Blitz :: Sweet
Fighter :: Christina Aguilera
Benny & the Jets :: Hayley Reinhart
I’ve Done Everything For You :: Rick Springfield
Praise You :: Fatboy Slim
Push It :: Salt-N-Pepa
Jeepster :: T-Rex
20th Century Boy :: Placebo
Paparazzi :: Lady Gaga
Cheers (Drink to That) :: Rihanna
Raise Your Glass :: P!nk
My Life Would Suck Without You :: Kelly Clarkson
Head Over Heels :: The Go-Go’s
Are You Gonna Go My Way :: Lenny Kravitz

Listen here

Sweet Thursday :: Matt Costa
Love That Girl :: Rachel Saadiq
And When I Die :: The Heavy
I’m a Loner Dottie, a Rebel :: The Get-Up Kids
Bleed Into Your Mind :: The All-American Rejects
Need You Tonight :: Liv Tyler
Sweet Valium High :: Charlotte Sometimes
DNA :: The Kills
Undertow :: Warpaint
Get Myself Together :: Robyn
Carry On :: Fun.
River :: Civil Twilight
Good Vibrations :: The Beach Boys
Girlfriend :: Matthew Sweet
If I Wanted Someone :: Dawes
Make You Feel My Love :: Adele
Pretty Eve in the Tub :: God Help The Girl
Not the Same :: Tanlines
Manhattan :: Kings Of Leon
We are Nowhere and its Now :: Bright Eyes
Payphone :: Maroon 5 & Whiz Khalifa
Orange :: Young Wonder
Call it What You Want :: Foster The People
Song of the Stars :: Dead Can Dance
I See Monsters :: Ryan Adams
Unattainable :: Little Joy
Dizzy :: Jimmy Eat World
Break My Heart :: La Sera
Madder Red :: Yeasayer
Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop :: Landon Pigg

Listen here

Wednesday :: Tori Amos
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy :: The Ohio Express
Hooray for Hollywood :: Neon Trees
Love Interruption :: Jack White
California Gurls :: Katy Perry & Snoop Dogg
Off to the Races :: Lana Del Rey
I Love You, You Imbecile :: Pelle Carlberg
Fall Hard, Part 2 :: Shout Out Louds
Love Will :: Suburban Kids With Biblical Names
Smoke & Mirrors :: Gotye
The Mixed Tape :: Jack’s Mannequin
Stitch Me Up :: Fun.
I’m Ready, I Am :: The Format
Hands Down :: Dashboard Confessional
It’s Oh So Quiet :: Bjork
Little Bit of You in Everything :: The Rentals
In Your Life :: The Ting Tings
Hot Lips :: Pacific!
These Days :: Foo Fighters
Under the Tracks :: Creeper Lagoon
Billionaire :: Travie McCoy & Bruno Mars
We May Be the Ones :: Paul Westerberg
The Guns of Brixton :: The Clash
Baby’s Arms :: Kurt Vile
All My Friends :: Pavement
Perfect World :: Gossip
Some Jingle Jangle Morning :: Mary Lou Lord
Surgeon :: St. Vincent
The Only Place :: Best Coast
Live Alone :: Debbie Harry & Franz Ferdinand

Listen here

Sun Comes Up, It’s Tuesday Morning :: Cowboy Junkies
Great Expectations :: The Gaslight Anthem
Everybody Talks :: Neon Trees
The Morning Sad :: Veruca Salt
Wild Ones :: Flo Rida & Sia
Oblivion :: Grimes
Nearer Than Heaven :: The Delays
Champagne Coast :: Blood Orange
Down by the Water :: The Drums
I & Love & You :: The Avett Brothers
5 Years Time :: Noah & The Whale
Rivers & Roads :: The Head & The Heart
Windy City Nights :: The Winter Sounds
Criminal :: Fiona Apple
Band of Gold :: Don Cherry
A Tasteless Offer :: Pelle Carlberg
I Hate Myself for Loving You :: Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Human Fly :: The Cramps
If You Don’t Love Me (I’ll Kill Myself) :: Pete Droge
Just Like Honey :: The Jesus & Mary Chain
Definitive Gaze :: Magazine
Maria :: Blondie
Shake it Out :: Florence & The Machine
Hard Times :: Patrick Wolf
Stuck Between Stations :: The Hold Steady
So Long, Marianne :: Leonard Cohen
Shiralee :: Arizona Baby
Death on the Stairs :: The Libertines
Babies :: Pulp
On Melancholy Hill :: Gorillaz

Listen Here

Monday Morning :: Death Cab For Cutie
Sugar, Sugar :: The Archies
Let It Go :: Dragonette
In Between Days :: The Cure
Du ar pa repeat :: Little Marbles
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart :: Frightened Rabbit
Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye :: The Lemonheads & Liv Tyler
Somebody That I Used To Know :: Gotye & Kimbra
Come Pick Me Up :: Ryan Adams & Kim Richey
I Won’t Give Up :: Jason Mraz
Mornings Eleven :: The Magic Numbers
Flux & Flow :: Lights
Part Of Me :: Katy Perry
Be My Angel :: Mazzy Star
Out the Door : The All-American Rejects
Darken Her Horse :: Austra
Wild is the Wind :: Nina Simone
Into Giants :: Patrick Watson
Big Jet Plane :: Angus & Julia Stone
Sweet Emotion :: Aerosmith
Your Side :: Young The Giant
Make You Feel My Love :: Bob Dylan
Pacific Coast Highway :: Hole
Alchemy & You :: Cold Cave
Love In a Strange World :: Mad Rad
I Got High :: Clem Snide
Rid of Me :: PJ Harvey
Sitting, Wishing, Waiting :: Jack Johnson
Cab :: Train
Million Dollar Bill :: Dawes

That has been my mantra for the past half-decade, or so – the no resolution New Year’s. I think, for a good long time, resolutions only added to my own brand of self-loathing, and acted like a loaded gun under the bed, more dangerous than any kind of protection (or inspiration). Resolutions always felt like such a set-up. A long, laundry list of things we want to change about ourselves that need some kind of significant turning of tides and time to set into action. But, don’t get me wrong, I set and let fall many a resolution, anticipating every New Year with breathless anticipation and buckets of hope. I’ve always loved the New Year, the fresh starts, the blank slate to fill. I’ve always been a change-junkie that way, and I’ve always loved writing lists. That said, somewhere along the line they started to hurt to make, and invariably break. They became too loaded with disappointment in myself and too much of a reminder of the dreams I have let slip away.

I put an end to resolutions and just let myself revel in the clean sheet of paper without cluttering it up with to-do’s and to-change’s. I let myself take a deep breath and move forward without too many maps and directions.

Well, as one might guess (especially if you know me and my lousy sense of direction), I got lost.

I got lost in helping everyone around me with their goals and lists and dreams. Always one to take on other people’s projects and desires, believing in them with full-force and persistence, and delighting in helping them make their dreams come true. But, as I’m sure Miss Penny Lane (Almost Famous) would attest, sometimes you have to slip your big sunglasses on, do to Morocco, make up a new name, and make yourself your new project.

I got lost in a job that became a never-ending spiral of stress and hoops of fire to jump through (and often get singed in the process). I got lost in the day-to-day, in my commute, in my kids, in my relationship, and in the weight of financial pressure of being the breadwinner. Even though, the past year has been one of the happiest of my life, I still have found myself losing myself in all of it.I am not complaining. I am lucky in so many ways and have a good life, amazing kids, and a wonderful relationship. But, in the midst of all of it, I forgot that I have dreams, I have things I want to do and accomplish, I have a path to follow, as well.

So, bring back those resolution fanfare, I’ve decided. Break out the permanent markers and the poster boards (the one I grabbed at the local drugstore seems to be some kind of 80′s neon yellow), and give myself a push into this New Year. Maybe this year I will be kinder to myself in these lists of things to accomplish, and perhaps this year I will find the time and energy, and damn persistence, to make some of my dreams come true (or at least move a little bit forward with said dreams).

And, in my own attempt at personal kindness, let’s keep these to ten things only. So, without further ado (ado is such a keen word to say aloud),in no particular order, here are my top ten dreams, schemes, and be-your-own muse resolutions:

1. Write everyday.

2. Work on that idea for a novel (or the other two, never did finish, novels).

3. Write some real, pen-to-paper letters and mail them.

4. Discover new music and share it.

5. Explore.

6. Balance – learn to say no and/or delegate at work, decide there are limits and that at least 2 nights a week it is ok to leave on-time and be home at a decent hour. Also, weekends should be weekends, and not portable work days.

7. Eat better and exercise more.

8. Keep a running list of books and films I consume this year.

9. See more live music (and write about it).

10. As Agent Dale Cooper says, “I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men’s store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.” – give myself a little gift, or at least remember myself on the priority list, everyday.

Well, there they are, posted and everything, and here goes nothing (everything)…I will see how it goes.

And now, for a song, because Death Cab and New Year’s Day just fit so well, to me:

Turning Tables (live, acoustic) :: Adele
Full Of Grace :: Sarah McLachlan
Little Plastic Castles :: Ani DiFranco
Gasoline :: Britney Spears
The Hill :: Marketa Irglova
That I Would Be Good :: Alanis Morissette
Last Chance :: Nicki Minaj and Natasha Bedingfield
Circle The Drain :: Katy Perry
Us :: Regina Spektor
Dancing On My Own :: Robyn
Where Does The Good Go? :: Tegan and Sara
The Greatest :: Cat Power
My Skin :: Natalie Merchant
Far Away :: Ingrid Michaelson
Narcissus In A Red Dress :: The Like
Wise Up :: Aimee Mann
Strange :: Tori Amos
Bachelorette :: Bjork
I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast :: Ida Maria
Reasons To Be Beautiful :: Hole

Stars and Garters :: the Music Mix :: Volume 1 ~ here