One special day. That is the title of the blog post of my dear friend, Philip, who gave me this year one of the most personal and touching birthday gifts I have ever received.  An early present because Philip is 15 hours ahead of me in time.  He marked my special day by sharing his musical talent with this special rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  Thank you, my friend, and, God willing, we shall meet someday somewhere over the rainbow.

I received this wonderful early birthday present, but my actual birthday, when it came for me 15+ hours later, went something like this:

It began as an ordinary day.  I woke up late, as usual, sped to the McDonald’s across the street for the #9, a Sausage McGriddle Meal with OJ, and an iced Hazelnut Latte.  Starving, I crammed it down hurriedly in the car and then ran upstairs to hit the shower, missing the traditional early morning birthday song call from my parents while I was gone.  They had to leave a song-a-gram.  Aside from that, I didn’t expect much from my special day as I was to spend it working and then after work getting my long overdue hair color touch up at the salon.  No birthday presents, no cakes, no candles for me, and, honestly I was okay with that.  I’m not big on celebration and ceremony.

The morning came and went with nothing spectacular but a few pleasant smiling  birthday greetings from co-workers.  At lunchtime, I wandered on over to Subway to grab my standard lunch these days, a meatball sandwich with two cookies and a Coca Cola, and headed back to the break room to eat with my boss and another co-worker.  It was during lunch that my day passed from ordinary to extraordinary. 

As I was gobbling down my sandwich, my sis and niece and nephew arrived unexpectedly bearing gifts and birthday wishes, transforming my table into a birthday party.

From my niece, an adorable handwritten note and a bunny Webkin, a girl bunny who is meant, I’m sure, to be a companion to my male rabbit, Bubbles.

From my nephew, a card that calls me old (waaaaaaaaaaah!) if I pick up the remote control and hold it to my ear and listen for a dial tone—fortunately, I rarely watch TV—and a sweet floral arrangement.  Hopefully, he’ll excuse my phone cord winding through the back of the photo.

And last, but certainly not least, a giant birthday balloon from all along with a Christmas CD I had been wanting from my sistah, who, being an adult, surely will excuse the fact that I was unable to get a good photo or scan of the CD (on second thought, probably, NOT).

Following on the heels of the departure of my sis and crew, came my hair stylist with a gynormous piece of carrot cake that had three layers and was therefore perfectly suited to divide and share with the three of us who were at the table.  What are the odds of that, eh?  And then, not too long after lunch, I was surprised by my co-workers, with a rousing rendition of the birthday song and bunch of cupcakes iced all together into a giant cupcake during our Monday afternoon meeting.  It looked like a cross between a mushroom cloud and a cupcake.  Wish I had been carrying my camera with me.  Not only that, but I was absolved of being MOD by two of my co-workers who generously took over for me in honor of my special day.

The best part of the mini party with my work buddies was the note left on my card by the store manager.  It made my day, especially because I know she meant it from the heart.

But that’s not all.  After a relaxing trip to the salon, I spent some enjoyable time leisurely shopping and while doing so received a call from my mother who was disappointed that she was not going to get to see me on my birthday.  What could I do but make a trip over to mom and dad’s house for a nice visit and some more lovely gifts, one of which was a lighted, magnified makeup mirror which I need desperately now that my close vision is deteriorating.  My parents also gave me two nice warm tops and a beautiful purple top that I was able to wear to work the next day where I received several compliments. 

And so………..all in all, this was One Special Day.  I am blessed with wonderful family, friends, and co-workers!  Thank you to everyone who helped make my ordinary day extraordinary!

Jen finally released the professional Wedding photos to the public. They came out stunning.

I still can’t get over how amazing that wedding was. It was like a movie.

Best Gay Jewish Wedding EVER!

(look closely at the pic of Jen in the chair during the Hora, I’m carrying the chair!)

Hava nagila

Hava nagila

Hava nagila vi nis’mecha

Hava neranenah

Hava neranenah

Hava neranenah vi nis’mecha

Uru, uru achim!

Uru achim b’lev sameach

Uru achim, uru achim!

B’lev sameach

5 things

1. how much this Camera Obscura album sounds like a cross between Neko Case and my favorite Everything But the Girl album.

2. Chad made phone calls today and has an appointment Thursday.

3. My rib doesn’t hurt when I don’t move mostly.

4. The glazed carrots I made for dinner were OUTSTANDING.

5. Fancy old books repurposed as blank journals. Pretty spiffy.
Available at Blue Rectangle on Park Street in Alameda.

This one’s my favorite. My birthday is December 2.

It’s going to be my birfday on monday.

So i plan on doing a lot of this:

I also plan on creatin more dastardly creations for the Isabel Scare-a-thon 2009 which starts next week!

♫lauren

It’s my birthday, y’all. My favorite holiday of the year!

Enjoy:

and, there’s no video for this one, but still:

Me Along

Stocking the shelf full of

Future dates and crates

Full of milk are so far

Off it seems sedated

That I will never

Escape the briskness

Of the expectation

That dairy must

Be stocked for

Yogurt and dessert

I could retreat from

These obligations

Cause I can’t see

My birthday on

Lettuce bags nor

Packages of meat

But as I empty

Out these lugs

Its drugs to

Keep me in check

For I can’t say no

To time moving

Me along, I am a

Lost helpless child

In the mall of America

Searching with hysteria

For my mother and

Sister, for they once

Had me in their grip

But now I rip my

Jeans on my own

Time from box

Cutters and it

Mutters the chatter

Of the orange county

Bounty

And all it brings,

Onions and potatoes

Apples and for Snapple

You have to go to

A real grocery store

With coupons and

A discount I cannot

Recount 24 years of

Days I’ve spent

Writing to you,

Speaking of You

And standing Holy

Since the age of three

For this I let time pass

I put these products

On the shelf, against

The wall, I embrace

The fall that ends

In the abyss of

All that you cannot

Dismiss

This? Pretty much one of my favourite books of all time.

Ever since I heard about the musical I have wanted to see it. I know every single song by heart. I also have not so minor crushes on Idena Minzel and Kristen Chenoweth (seeing her on Glee? LOVED it.)

One item on my bucket list is to see another show on Broadway (Lion King was amazing). This probably stems from me being a TOTAL tech theatre geek.

As some of you may know, me and Scarlett flew to New York City to help Marilyn prepare for her wedding and Scarlettt was also one of the bridesmaids while I got roped into the catering service when the actual service was short-handed. To those of you who cater for a living, I have no idea how you do it but you are now my heroes. We had a blast with the third member of our trio and kind of ignored her when she said she would pay us back for all our help thinking it would be like sending us a thank you card or something of the like.

No.

No it wasn’t.

So today, November 11th in the year 2009 at about 10:40 AM EST I hear a knock at the door and see a Fed Ex truck in the driveway. Trying to remember if either me or Scarlett had anything on order, I answer the door for the man who is carrying two packages. One adressed to Scarlett. The other adressed to me.

I signed for them as Scarlett was at class and wouldn’t be back for hours, thanked the man, and went to the table  to open my box. Now when I see it is from Marilyn, I’m expecting something like a dildo.

Because she’s just that kind of person and knows I would find it funny.

When I opened it up, I felt like Pumpkin opening up Wallace’s package. I might have stared for a full minute.

While I always knew Marilyn’s family was rather well off, I never really understood what that meant until seeing their summer home where the rehearsal dinner would be. I find out that Marilyn talked to a friend of hers who works with Broadway productions. How it was pulled off I do not know but sitting on my table were two, not one, TWO tickets to the Gershwin Theatre to see Wicked on January 12 complete with an invitation to go backstage and meet some of the cast.

There may have been an intense desire to squee.

There was a moment of hyperventilation.

Followed by an acid-inspired improptu dance party in my kitchen.

I called Marilyn and left her a voicemail that was half-screaming in the most undignified way and half-thanking her profusely while promising to find some way to pay her back.

I’m going to Broadway. I’m going to Broadway. I’m going to Broadway.

..my day!my birthday!… Am fost eu cu ai mei si-a fost foarte misto! a fost  mai misto  decat anul trecut! a fost cel mai misto!

my cake si manuta Taniucii,nerabdatoare sa-mi cante  “a muti ani” si sa ma umple de ciocolata pe fata )….( si nu e “18″… e chiar “19″ )

See ya!

Today is  my birthday. I am finally 14. My grandma gave me $100 as a present. I also got a laptop from my parents.  Today at about 6:30 i am having guests over, I hope the get me something good!!

18 years ago, on the night before my 21st birthday, I had a dream in which some unidentified person asked me to define God. My answer was this: “God is like playing hide and seek with your sister. You walk into the room and it feels like she’s everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.”

Now, before anyone goes thinking I am anything other than terminally agnostic, I should counter-balance this dream with the fact that my daughter asked me just yesterday what a Baby Teaser was. Turns out her friend has a favourite song about “some Baby Teasers in a manger”. Need I say more?

Anyway, I found myself recalling that dream the other day  - and not because my birthday was approaching and I was taking stock of the scant moments of profundity I’ve had in my 39 years on this planet (“There is such a thing as too much tequila” possibly being the only other one).

I thought of the dream because Mr Justice decided at the last minute that he wanted to take his remote-controlled Batman car in for Show And Tell. After a widespread search of the House That Ate Paris, we managed to only find the car but not the remote control. And in my mind, I had one of those cinematic montage’o'memories sequences as I remembered all the places I had ever seen the damn thing: languishing in a corner, at the bottom of the Barbie box, underneath Mr Justice’s bed, in “time out” on a high shelf… As Mr Justice himself exclaimed: “I’ve seen it at least four times in the last year!”

So yes, I found myself thinking that the remote control felt like it was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Just like God. Now I don’t know about God (terminally agnostic, remember?), but in the end, the remote control was mostly nowhere and Mr Justice was forced to change his S&T plans. 

Of course I managed to wander around the house the rest of the day, still searching, searching, searching … in much the way someone might wander vaguely about looking for scissors, making that scissors action with their fingers. I began cursing that the stupid remote control wasn’t attached to the stupid car, except then it wouldn’t have been a “remote” control and therefore be even stupider. And to add insult to injury, in my travels around the house, I kept finding all the other stupid items I’d recently searched high and low for without success – except now, when I no longer needed them and just the very sight of them hurt me. 

Anyway, all that aside, today is my 39th birthday. Unlike most people, I tend to make New Year’s Eve-type resolutions on my birthday. Mostly because my birthday is exactly seven weeks before Christmas and  I am incredibly unlikely to do anything rash or stupid like try to give up alcohol or butter. 

So here are my Birthday Resolutions for the year leading up to the Big Four-Oh:

• try not to use the words “ARSE”, “BUM” or “PISS” around my children or the Principal of my child’s school;
• stop wearing my maternity trousers;
• get a hair cut (since it’s been about 15 months since my last one, that’s harder than it sounds);
• keep this blog going without upsetting anyone I love or inviting legal action;
• find the perfect pair of red shoes to turn 40 in;
• stop calling everything STUPID except when really absolutely necessary;
• find the stupid remote control for the stupid Batman car. 

Happy Birthday, Me.

Hello my followers and visitors!
Last Wednesday, Ocotober 21st, it was my birthday number 14, and like you guys can read and see in my last blogs, i spended my day: first of all, i went to the school, then to my classmates to McDonalds, then to Starbucks with two of my BGFF (Best Girl Friends Forever) of the school. And after that, of curse it couldn’t be, that when i come back to my house, my bro Gasti Grin, (who turned 14 too (because we’re twins, lol) with like 20 BMFF (Best Macabi Friends Forever) and we have such an amazing time at my house!
And here are the pictures. Ps: don’t wait to more pics, beucase thats are all! Enjoy it and comment

Hi guys, here i have two pictures of me at the door of the Palermo, Starbuck with two of my biggest girl friends of the school-classmates, Cami Dorfman & Belu Ardanaz we really had fun there, i can remember that. We ordered Frappuccino’s of curse. Lol!!!!
Comment, and enjoy your visit here.

Saturday 31^st October

Real Time: 11.45am. Location: Coach Station, Southampton

 Let the party weekend begin! I’ve successfully made it as far as the coach station in Southampton, so this is a good start to be sure. I wasn’t so successful when it came to packing light – as usual, I’ve managed to weigh myself down with hundreds of bags (well, three… including my handbag so I guess it’s not too bad). I’m convinced I’ve forgotten something, but seeing as there’s not much I can do about it now I might as well not worry. I nearly forgot my shoes (not the ones I’m wearing, the ones for tonight – I’m not a complete idiot), but I remembered them thanks to the handy word ‘SHOES’ scrawled on my hand. Very handy. Ha ha ha.

 Today is Hallowe’en, and so far I’m not scared. Well, I mean I’m scared of the usual things: losing the man I love forever, wasps, a bit of murder. But generally, Hallowe’en is not scaring me today. Jolly good.

 ………………………………………………………………………………………

 Real Time: 1pm. Location: Coach

 Just left the coach station, and I got a little bit sad that I have nobody to wave to. But I’m on my way to people I love, so yay!

 Spending an hour at the coach station was far more eventful than I’d anticipated. I got chatting to a nice old Indian gentleman who told me all about his children, his fifteen grandchildren, his wife in England and his girlfriend in India. He asked me lots about me as well, and said that he has lots of land in India, is very rich and would be happy to welcome me as a guest any time. He then asked if I was a virgin, and said he’d let me stay in India free of charge and would reward me generously for any services I might provide. Aside from the fact that he was trying to recruit me as some kind of international prostitute, he really was very nice, and I helped him to find his coach and to understand the announcements. I did not give him any of my contact details.

 ………………………………………………………………………………………

 Real Time: 4.20 pm. Location: Victoria station.

 I’m in London! I’ve just met up with Heather and am very excited about tonight. I met a nice guy on the coach too… he’s from near me and we’ve said we’ll meet up some time soon. The weekend isn’t off to a bad start.

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 Sunday 1^st November

Real Time: 2.45 pm. Location: Covent Garden

 I’m fairly sure a hangover is God’s way of punishing us for having fun. Last night was brilliant (despite starting the evening by putting a chilli-covered contact lens in my eye). I just felt so free, and so many eyes were on us because we were having fun. While flirting with the photographer was fun, as was a minor dalliance with a guy called Julio, it was the fact that I was having a brilliant time with some of my best friends that made it for me (especially when Julio left me for a half-naked foreign girl; I was annoyed, but ultimately unaffected).

 Today I’ve been to Westfields with Lucy, and am now in Covent Garden to see Heather on her lunch break. My ticket to get out of the underground didn’t work, but the tube lady said, “If I was your ticket, I would let you through.” Nice people make the world go round.

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 Monday 2^nd November

Real Time: 9.30 am. Location: Victoria Coach Station

 I was filling my friends in on some recent events on Saturday, and it became clear that my life is far from dull. If I wasn’t living my life, I’m not sure I would believe it.

 Something that made me happy this morning: On a very busy underground, somebody stepped aside to let me on the train.

Something that made me sad: I said thank you, and he looked surprised.

I’ve decided to claim the entire month of November for my own this year. My birthday happens to fall just about exactly in the middle, so I’m just taking it all for me. Everything that I do this month shall be referred to in some way shape or form as “Birth Month Celebrations.”

So let it be written, so let it be done. Huzzah!

The month shall start out relatively low-key. I’m hoping to get together this Friday with my best girl Jessie to have drinkies after work. We’ll probably end up somewhere in Bel Air. Nothing major, that, but I get to spend time with my bestie, so that makes me happy. That Saturday is my next day of volunteering at the Walters, so I’ll be out and about that morning, greeting people and putting all that customer service training to the test. Also, I’ll be wearing sneakers, because my feet hurt like holy hell by the end of the day last time I was there.

I have two friends with birthdays on the 5^th and 6^th, so I imagine there will be shenanigans going on for one or the other; I’m not sure if it’ll be both, however. Maybe something Saturday evening, if I can finagle it!

The following Friday is, of course, my actual birthday.

I would like to take a moment here to point out that my birthday is on a Friday this year. A Friday the 13^th, in case you haven’t just checked a calendar and seen that. I haven’t had my birthday on a Friday since I turned nine, and I’ve been looking forward to this for years. Because I’m like that. Happy Birthday to me. And to Sarina, who is far more eeevil than I am, but clearly just as awesome as me for having the same birthday.

Also, I would like to point out that I was actually born on a Friday the 13^th. If you were looking for a reason I’m such a whack job, there it is. Hee!

I’m hoping to get a large-ish group of friends together to go out to dinner and do a bit of bar-hopping that evening. I’m thinking we’ll get sushi to eat, and then go check out some places down town. I’ve been meaning to check out Ale Mary’s for literal ages, so I think a stop there is in order. After that, who knows.

The rest of the weekend I will likely spend recovering. However, the following Wednesday, Amanda Fucking Palmer is playing in Philly, so I’m going up for that. I’ve wanted to see her live for, again, ages; so I shall be sacrificing precious sleep to see her. And Julie’s going with me!

After that, there’s Thanksgiving. JP and I have tentative plans to do… something that weekend. Not sure what yet. Whatever, it shall be an extension of my birthday!

And to close out the month, EA is playing the 930 Club in DC on the 30^th. You betcher ass I’m going to see her again.

I will be spending the month of December recovering from all this awesome. Except for Friday the 5th, when Rob Zombie is playing at the 930 Club. I’m planning on that concert as well. Lots of shows coming up! w00t!

And just because I’m all about the pictures lately, here’s one of the best pictures I’ve taken in a really long time:

More pics people! Here i cover up new pics, but this one are from my bday afternoon, the last wednesday October 21, 2009 when i turned on 14 years old!

First of all, of curse, i went to the school, then to McDonalds with my classmates, and then with to of the most funniest girls to Starbucks! Enjoy the pics and comment!

On this date in 1977: my mother gave birth to me at Carbondale Memorial Hospital.  I think at 7:30am.  (I need to ask her again at what time it really was.)  She was 28 years old, a new wife, could barely speak english, and was living with her in-laws.  My parents met and married in Israel a little over a year before I was born.  They traveled some after they were married and then moved back to my dad’s hometown. 

The only other interesting thing that happened on this date in 1977 was that Reggie Jackson hits three consecutive home runs, all on the first pitch, to lead the New York Yankees to the World Series championship over Los Angeles in six games.

 Darrelynn made this pumpkin for me for my birthday party.  I’ve never had a pumpkin carved just for me!   Thanks Darrelynn!  In fact, I’ve never carved one myself either.  I may just need to give it a try.  

Written in real time. Location: Home.

I hate that man. I wondered what the final straw would be. To be honest, even though I’ve been hurting there was always a part of me that thought I could forgive him and would still want to be with him. Not now. I don’t want to go into details, all I need to say is that I really can’t stand that I love him. He has made a complete fool out of me and I feel so sorry for that idiotic girl who thinks he loves her. He isn’t capable of love. He certainly doesn’t love me. He just can’t stand the idea of someone not liking him, he wants to be loved by everyone. He is a mistake, and I want nothing more to do with him. Yes, I’ve been angry with him, but this is the first time I’ve desperately wanted to hurt him, to make him pay for what he’s done. I want him to burn in hell.

Tomorrow, I turn 22, and I get to leave the disastrous age that was 21 behind me.

Today the celebrations got started! Kate took me out for lunch in Winchester, and was amazing and wonderful because she is amazing and wonderful. Who needs a complete twat of a man when you have amazing friends who really do love you? And I now have a beautiful bunch of flowers to brighten up my mood. She has given me three things to do in my year of being 22 to help to make it a great year:

1. Go somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. It doesn’t have to be far, but just somewhere I haven’t been that I want to go to.
2. Buy a fabulous pair of shoes, all the better if I decide on a pair I want and then save up for them.
3. I can’t remember what number 3 was, and I’m not sure if we came up with one, but if we did I’m sure it was brilliant!

Tomorrow, I’m going to have a really good birthday, and no evil man who wants nothing more than to control the people he professes to love is going to be able to stop me.

Written in real time (just after midnight). Location: Bed (again).

I was going to give a recap of my day, but instead I shall just sum up and then move on to the rest of the week, as this is all about looking forward, not back.

Today I went for lunch with my mum and my sister, and came home again. There you have the events of the day. Now, onto more important things…

My birthday plans are coming together! I’m very excited! On the actual day I have to go to the hospital for some blood tests, which means a couple of hours travelling (I have to go to Windsor) and however long it takes to get them done (for those who don’t know, it’s nothing serious, just something I have to do every few of months). It’s a pain that I have to go on my birthday, but it’s the only plausible day when various factors are considered. But it might be nice, I love car journeys and my mum’s taking me so it’s not actually that bad. When we get home, we’re going to the cinema, then meeting my sister when she finishes work and going for dinner. On Thursday, we’re going out for lunch with my dad, and then on Saturday I’m going up to London to celebrate with my friends. It’s starting to come together, and that excites me!

This perfectly coincides with the stage in moving on that I’m getting to. It’s the “I need to go out and have fun with my friends who love me and dance with men who don’t matter” stage. Yes, I am still very in love with the man who broke my heart, but I need to learn how to love being single again now and I think that’s a good place to start. Look out, men of London… Sarah’s on a mission to break some hearts next weekend! But I’m not pinning my hopes of having a good time on men. Past experience tells me there is nothing more unreliable than a man when it comes to achieving happiness. This is why the main aspect of the night, the whole reason I’m getting on a coach for two and a half hours each way in the first place, is so I can go out with my friends.

Slowly, I’m finding the pieces that add up to my happiness again. I just need to remember how to keep them in place.

I was born on the bright afternoon of Oct 2007. Before I talk about my second birthday, let me tell you that I have started learning words and spellings. I even know to count ‘One’, ‘Two’ and ‘Five’. Don’t ask me where three and four are. They are not game enough for me now. Well, I know to spell A-p-p-l-e. I can say Fish, Hello, Nay, Thank you, Plane, Kozhiyamma(Hen), Kakkachi(Crow) and many other words. I am still learning.
 
Oct 15, 2009 was my second birthday. Before that, sister aunty (elder sister of my granny, she is a nun) came to spent a few days with us. She is very fond of me and bought me some new dresses. Ah I had at least 5 pairs of new dress. On the day of my birthday, I was woken up early in the morning to go to church. I was very enthusiastic, feeling very comfortable and happy. In the evening we celebrated by giving dinner to the children at a near by orphanage. Papa and Amma are very idealistic about such things. They wanted to make my b’day meaningful. When I, Amma, Grandpa and Granny arrived at the orphanage, there were lots of innocent smiles to welcome us. They all wished me  with a Happy B day Song. We had nice time together.
 
Throughout the day, I kept on saying to everyone that it’s Allu’s Happy Birthday. I got some gifts from the nuns at the orphanage. In the evening, it was the turn of my Amma’s students. There was a big cake waiting for me. Again I was surrounded by the same music of happy birthday. Amma’s colleagues and students gave me yet some other gifts. But the big surprise was yet to be.
 
I am very fond of cars. Whenever I sit in the front seat of our car, as soon as the driver’s seat is empty I jump into it and start rotating the steering, trying to pull the gear lever and press the horn. I even know to play the music in the car stereo. Inside the room, my favorite toys are cars.
 
The Saturday after my birthday, I became the owner of a car. Yes, a toy but a Big Car, and I’m the only driver of it. Even my grandpa and pappa are not going to drive it. When I say driving, I mean it. It has got a steering, accelerator, horn and everything that is needed for car. The only problem is: I cannot drive it on the public roads. So what? It’s in my car I go to the wash room, the kitchen and the bed room. I’m a perfect driver now.
 
Papa was telling, he traveled in car only at the age of 18, but his son drives his own car when he is just 2 year old. That’s the generation gap Papa, you can’t expect things to be the same as it was at your age. Moreover Papa, you can say this story if I become F1 World Champion, LOL.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday. My birthday was very funny. My mother and my father was there and my little sibling Pat. I like my birthdays very much. I share them with Pat since mum and dads thought it was cheaper that way. Mother had bought a big cake and invited all my friends and their parent-networks. Even my far net friends came. Ludwig and her parents brought their house here. They will live near us for a week then they will fly to New Carthage for the Gun Pride Day. Gun Pride Days are fun too because you get to shoot things. This Gun Pride Day will be fun. Because I got a new Trillicon X-Anihilator Assault Rifle. It has bullpup and telescopic sight and integral laser sight and full compatibility with most C3I systems so me and my friends can us it and it even comes with a bipod for target shooting. I will have to work a bit harder at my evening work to earn the money I need to buy all the ammunition I want. I want to buy holocamera bullets so I can show all my friends my shooting. All my dads held a speech about responsibility and the right to bear arms like they usually do. Pat only got a silly little robot – ve is too young to get a real gun. Ve was very envious.

I love my dads and mom very much. Mom works at eugenix and makes great genes. My dads are greedy. And their love costs a lot. That is because George works as a time-lag corespondent stockbroker and Tim works a drugsampler for a lot of netazines, even Big’Uns. When I grow up I want to be a starship pilot, and that is why I want to study theoretical physics.

Everybody was at the party. My friend Lollapalooza and Bejke and all the Lindsay clones because it is fun to play with their horns. Bejke had a new account that he showed everybody. He brags about it but he can back it up. After eating the cake we played in our parents virtual and we got full bandwidth. We played Quickfluid the whole night. Then our parents came to get us to listen to old uncle Ernie hold one of his boring speeches. It was almost coercion, but Ernie pays good money for us to listen to his stuff. It was the same old usual stuff about that Galt character and him being very great and so.

Real Time: 2.20pm. Location: Home.

Just got in from Tesco. While I was there, I might have ruined a marriage, but never mind. Me and this man were both standing in front of the frozen pizzas, andwe were both looking at them for quite a while. So I said, nice and conversationally, “Can be a hard decision sometimes, can’t it?” He glared at me. Lovely. Then his wife/mistress/woman of note appeared behind him, looking at me like I’d just been grinding up against the man. I really wanted to say, “Don’t worry love, the Jim Royle look really doesn’t do it for me so I think he’s safe”, but they’d both pissed me off so I picked up a pizza, winked at him, and walked away.

I’m looking forward to next week. I’ve been feeling really lonely during the days when my mum and sister are at work, but next week it’s half term so mum’ll be at home. We don’t always get on brilliantly, but with it being my birthday and having things to do it should be good.

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Real Time: 7.30 pm. Location: Home (again… I’ll try to bring you somewhere more exotic soon).

Today, I caught my cat eating my toothbrush. I’m fairly sure that makes this the worst day of my life. I also got in the shower with my glasses on.

My mum and sister are both out for dinner tonight. Not together, they haven’t decided they don’t like me for a night and left me here. They’re both out with work people (actually, they’ve got very similar stories, maybe I should be suspicious), so tonight it’s just me, a curry, and EastEnders. And cider. Ah, cider.

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Written in real time (just gone midnight). Location: Bed.

God I miss him. But if he loved me anywhere near as much as he imagines he does he would never have let me go. Nob. I’m sure I’ll stop mourning the loss of our future soon… but I don’t know how easily I’ll get over how tainted our past is to me now.

I must keep looking forwards. Birthday soon!

Real Time: Midday. Location: Home.

Last night, watching The One Show with my mum, there was an article about how drinking is bad for your health.

Woman on tv: Did you know there are even places where you can get 3 litres of cider for as little as £1.18?

Me: Ooh, where?

I think this says bad things about me.

I really can’t decide what to do today. It’s horrible weather, but I want to do something. I also can’t decide what to do for my birthday. I still want to see as many of my friends as possible, which I think means going to London, but it’s difficult to organise things with no money. I know 22 isn’t an important birthday, but I kind of want to celebrate saying goodbye to 21, because it was crap. I wish I still had more friends round here, it would be so much easier.

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Written in real time. Location: Bed (ie, where I really should have stayed all day).

I decided to go to Southampton today and look for a Christmas job. I had £3 in change and was planning on getting a cup of tea, filling in some forms and maybe updating what I was going to write here. But then a charity man offered me a key ring for £3 for a women’s shelter, so I thought a contribution to a women’s charity would be a more positive thing to do than sit and drink tea on my own. So, without money, I was wandering around in the rain when it suddenly hit me… He’s got a girlfriend. Oh, I haven’t mentioned that bit before. Only a couple of my friends know this part of the story. Yep, he’s so in love with me that he has a girlfriend, and doesn’t give a damn about how much that hurts me. It really hit me and I fell apart right there in the street. A paintball salesman who’d just asked if I like playing with balls asked if I was ok, clearly worried that my inexplicable breakdown was caused by his potentially offensive question. I assured him I was fine and made my way to the station, crying the whole way, and on the train, and back through the town to my house. Thank goodness it was my job to cook the dinner tonight because it forced me to go out again to buy ingredients and not just curl up and die in a corner.

I really do hate him for the pain he’s caused me.

Oh well, onwards and upwards. I just hope I can enjoy my birthday this year – last year an ex managed to get under my skin and screwed up my celebrations. I don’t want that this year, I just want to celebrate with people who really do love me.