Now in this one, I’ll talk about my cat Sherman. He has an unknown breed, but his fur is black, brown, white, grey, with pink paws and nose. Unlike Deuce, he’s REALLY skinny. He loves eating sardines and is isane if he gets a whiff of catnip. Seriously. Insane. Period. Ok so back to the subject. His paradise is ………a plastic bag. He’s a crazy, cuckoo, cuddly, cute cat.

We all have the inevitable the snorer in our our lives, be it our dad, roommate, fiance, or … cat. Yes, you read it correctly. My cat, Jingles, has a snoring problem. It began as a nose whistle I almost mistakenly attributed to myself. It then progressed into a full fledged kitty snore, sounding like an alien from the latest sci-fi movie.

So, what do you do for the congested cat?
I’ll let you know when I figure it out!

It seems that all I ever have time for these days is a quick haiku. Here’s one from yesterday, when four eagles pulled me out of the fatigue and cold I was experiencing at the end of a tiring day:

waiting for the bus
cold stone step is a hard bench
above, eagles soar

I snapped a quick photo as the bus pulled up, but all I managed to get was blue sky (which was, itself, amazing) and one blurry eagle:

Meanwhile, unpacking and setting up my office/studio space continues:

Things that are good at the moment:

The new Defeater record ‘Lost Ground’, the fact that the new Blacklisted record is due to drop very, very soon, the Bruins winning 4 games in a row, Defeater, Dead Swans, Ruiner & Strike Anywhere tees for $6 on B9, the Chargers beating the Donks to go first in the AFC West, holidays coming soon, Ruiner show in 2 weeks, growing facial hair to keep extra warm, beanies, tofu stirfry with garlic noodles, a venti Starbucks gingerbread latte with soya milk, getting 4 month extensions on when my Uni work has to be submitted.

Things that are not so good at the moment:

The cat waking me up at 5 am on days when I don’t have to get up at 4 am to go to work, not having a warm coat when it’s freezing cold, not being able to find Tofurkey in shops, all ‘music’ that is shown on the tv, the current obsession with celebrity culture, not knowing being told about a 4 month extension for Uni work and spending hours at night getting it done.

The good outways the bad at the moment. I’m OK with that.

We tried to have our cat wear a fake bloody finger around her neck for our Halloween party, but it didn’t really pan out so well.

Oscar Lux Voltaire happens to be my cat.

Oscar = It fits him.

Lux =

(lux interior)

Voltaire = The philosopher and the musician and Cabaret Voltaire (I’m an ass).

I keep listening to the song “Lust” By Velvet Acid Christ. I’m alternating it with the Drifters so that I don’t go insane. I have eclectic taste in music, what can I say.

So I tried to go shopping today. I had $60. I didn’t buy anything aside from a milkshake and a metrocard.

Hahahaha. I definitely do not consume 1,800 – 2,000 calories in a day. So I tried on EIGHT THINGS at Buffalo Exchange, stopped at Trash to look at the shoes (I always feel poor and not well endowed when I go in there). Stopped at Gothic Renaissance (I hate that store). I also stopped at Forever 21 (bad music as usual) and The Vampire Freaks store. Oh and Joyce Leslie. Just to look at the undies.

I have come to the conclusion that I suck at shopping, just a little bit.

I’m ultra picky and ultra cheap. Maybe a visit to Williamsburg would be more beneficial but the last time I had enough money to buy clothes I didn’t buy anything. Meh meh meh meh.

Aside from me sucking at shopping I had a really nice day. I walked so much with DesiDesiDesi he’s fun I like him. I also like listening to The Cramps when I get dressed in the morning. I did that today and it made me feel so much better. I listened to “I Wanna Get In Your Pants” and I hit on myself in the mirror.

I’ve been trying to decide on a new piercing, I am CRAVING a new one.

I’ve had quite a few piercings. I gave up trying to list them chronologically, so I’ll just list them.

Eyebrow, Snakebites, Lip piercing (x3 hahaha or something like that), navel, monroe (x2), septum (x2), stretched lobes, standard second earlobe piercing, nostril piercing (x2), etc.

(Most of these are retired, x2 means I repierced it).

The only piercings that I really want right now are the ones my mom DESPISES -

CHEEK PIERCINGS.

DIMPLE PIERCINGS.

I’m ridiculously in love with them, have been for about a year and a half. She’s fine with tattoos but not cheek piercings. I guess I’ll actually have to wait until I’m 18 as to not piss her off completely. Or 17 since I’ll be in college by then.

BRIEF MAKEUP REVIEW.

That’s me wearing my new black lipstick from MAC cosmetics. I don’t care if I look like an awkward tranny here. I don’t have lipstick on my teeth Michael! Anyway, the lipstick is nice and glossy and stays on pretty well, it is prone to bleeding so I need to actually pick up a lip liner. Not for the faint of heart. I wear a couple of layers of it since I want it to be pitch black.

Would have been Lady’s birthday today, if she was still alive. Lady would have been 13 years old.

As you can see from above picture, my friend Kath has concreted Lady’s grave to protect it, as something, possibly a fox had been digging at it. But thankfully her resting place wasn’t disturbed, although I did find it upsetting that something tried. Kath has done a good job I think. You would have thought the concrete had been there for some time, and not just recently.

Kath knew it was Lady’s birthday at some point, so she put some flowers down for her in a pot, before going away. While rabbit sitting and looking after her place this week, I have lit a candle today in memory of her.

It is with great sadness that I am writing this post.

It is 3:41am and a short while ago I had to put my most precious, adorable, faithful, and loving cat Manface to sleep due to rapid kidney failure.

He has been with me for the last 5 years and from the moment we met to this very night he was always by my side.  He was, is, and will forever be my favorite little guy. A companion through the good times and a great comfort in sadness.

Tonight I said goodbye to one of the closest friends I ever had and I ask for you to just hold a small moment of silence for him wherever you may be.

If you happen to be a pet owner and they are still alive and with you I want you to go home tonight and give them the biggest kiss you have ever given them. Their time with us on this earth is short, precious, and should be cherished and celebrated every moment they are here.

Always hold them close to your heart and they will remain there forever.

All my best always,
Dennis Cahlo

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By Critic Jasper Pennies

Newsweek puts out some of the dumbest information I’ve ever read. The Tortured Brain is one of their dumbest articles yet.

The whole argument put forth by Sharon Begley is that neuroscience has found evidence that the brain will not put out truthful information when the person is under torture.

First of all. Do we really trust neuroscience? Sigmund Freud used to be a neuroscientist before he became a psychoanalyst. It just goes to show you that neuroscience is a gateway science to worse sciences.

Secondly, torture has been the most reliable thing I’ve ever used. When I stopped feeding my cat Chompchomp for 4 days in a row, it started meowing like crazy. Now, I knew it really wasn’t hungry and was really just trying to waste my time. So I water-boarded it for two weeks straight. After that, it stopped bothering me. I haven’t heard from it for the past two weeks. Clearly the truth came out there. The truth was that my cat Chompchomp really wasn’t hungry. It was just wanting to waste my time.

Torture is also good at getting honest opinions out of your lovers. I’ve probably water-boarded my last three lovers or was it four? Anyway water-boarding was clearly effective enough to pull the truth right out of their brains. In less than five days, these ol’ girlfriends of mine were all admitting just how beautiful, smart, handsome, and great I was. Clearly, torture was working in this department. So why wouldn’t it work against terrorist enemies of the United States?

So Newsweek is wrong again as usual. I just wish Newsweek would get its act together and praise Dick Cheney on every cover of newsmagazines it puts out. I think someday we should all water-board Dick Cheney in order to get him to admit just how great of a person he is. The guy is just too humble and holds back way too much.

Dick Cheney, admit just how great of a person you are or you’re going to be put into a dark narrow box with a weird creepy bug crawling around on you!

Cheney Previously Giving Thumbs Up To Simulated Drowning Of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed

Hairballs, as in the kind cats cough up.

Leonard, my rocky raccoon cat, has very long hair that he frequently grooms. The issue is that his lustrous locks get caught in his throat and then things like THIS show up on my floor. Okay, you may notice that in that last sentence, I fully intended to insert a link (it was a google image I found by searching “cat hairball large wet”). I have chosen not to add the link, because it is really gross and I think you would regret clicking it. If you are so inclined, check it out on your own time.

Anyway.

The point is, friends, that I am a dog owner in a cat world, and I am lost. I also think I may be allergic. I even went to the doctor to find out! She told me, “You are most likely allergic to the cat. You need to see an allergist.” But I can’t worry about that right now. For now, I need anyone with cat knowledge to reassure me that there is SOMETHING i can do to remedy, or at least reduce the intensity of Leonard’s extreme vomit hairballs.

I’m tweaking right now. Can you tell?

I’m working on an adaptation of Rocky Raccoon by The Beatles to sing to Leonard. It fits, you see, because sometimes Sarah and I are not sure if he is a raccoon or a cat or a man. Here are some possible lyrics I’ve been working on. By all means, sing along!

Leonard raccoon alone in my room

Coughing up hairballs and vomit!

Then Becca came in, wreaking of gin

She said “Leonard boy this is a show down!”

But Leonard was smart, he gave her his heart

And Becca cleaned up the barf ball

ahhhhhhh!

da da da da da da da daa da da daa da daa daa daa da do doo da dooo doo doo doo do doo doo doo do doo do do doo doo do doo

This week’s I Heart Faces has a “just for fun” category for our pets. This is a close up shot of my crazy cat, “Pixie.” I thinks she has a beautiful, intelligent face, and I am sure she was contemplating her next trick to drive my husband and I just a little crazier than we already are in this photo! I have posted stories about her here and here, if you want to know a little more about her.

I Heart Faces is a photography sharing forum that focuses on the art of capturing faces and their various emotions. Each week, people from across the world enter their favorite face photos. This week’s category for the contest is “Contemplative.”

Click on the button to check out lots of other pet faces, or to enter a photo of your own.