Hey yall. Do yall know how yall can b smart and not be dumb? Yall can listen up to Poppa Spezz when yall are thinking what yall should do next. Oi oi como va?

Do:
Get a big ass turkey or bird or turducken or some shit. Like, 1 whole day before you want to eat it, brine it. To brine, put it in a bigass bucket full of salt+sugarwater + various seasonings. Google brine recipe. Keep in fridge for like 8 hours.

Do Next:
Make a dry rub. Take bird outta brine. Dry off. apply rub. Google rubb recipe or go to hell.

And Then:
Smoke the motherfuckin bird for like 8 hours in a ~200-degree smoker. Hickory, oak, whatever.

If you do it right, it will be the BEST TURKEY YALL EVER HAD. If you do it wrong, oh well, at least you did some shit. No one can take that away from you. Not never.

So, I was watchin My Name is Earl with my friend Tiny Tony. And then, I renembered Tiny Tony hates My Name is earl and he only likes Dr. House.

I’m like “you know, maybe you can just kinda buck up and groove on it and maybe I’ll give u a taste of the good stuff.

CATNIP CRUSTED turkey bits?

yes, bra. yes, bra.

Or do:
Fresh shrimp. Never frozen. h20 + old bay + a lil vinegar + boil it. Drop in shrimps 2 – 3 minutes. Pull out shrimps. Put on ice. Enjoy. Dont never eat froze shrimp or goto hell.

Maybe for Thanksgiving yall should have oyster roast instead of turkey and bullshit. It’s easier, tastier, and less racist. Put em on the grill a minute and pop them shits open. Put a lil lemon, hotauce, cocktail, horschradusch, whatev on it and slurm down the hatch. Repeat X 20+ w/beer. For popping them shits open, DO use screwdriver.

Tiny Tony will sniff the garbage for like 50 minutes and it’s ok cuz he’s a nice cat and my best friend.

Have a happy holiday.

I love you,
Spezz

Spezz Meckman

¿Qué es el karma? Este concepto oriental que hace referencia a una ley metafísica de retribución, causa y efecto de nuestros actos, se ha venido difundiendo en Occidente gracias el interés que ha generado la espiritualidad oriental. Una de los ejemplos más claros de esto es la serie norteamericana My Name Is Earl, su argumento se basa en que un delicuente que ha jugado la lotería está apunto de ganar cien mil dólares al raspar un billete de lotería cuando lo atropeya un auto se siente mal por eso sin embargo al escuchar sobre el karma en un programa de de televisión es que decide hacer una lista de las cosas malas que ha hecho para tratar de enmendarlas con la finalidad de que su vida pueda cambiar. El karma se convierte entonces en el hilo conductor de la historia el tratar de acarrear buen karma con sus acciones y evitar generar un mal karma evitando cometer los  mismos errores. Un real cambio representa en su vida la creencia en este concepto que si bien es usado con varias significaciones  y explicaciones en el hinduismo y el budismo también es un término muy difundido gracias esotérico movimiento New Age. La necesidad de creer en algo creer aunque no sea una religión hace que la gente trate de darle un sentido a su vida mediante la configuración de un sistema de creencias personal es entonces que el karma al igual que otros conceptos orientales empiezan a difundirse. Lo peligroso del karma es que al igual que el concepto del pecado cristiano es que nos impida actuar libremente y nos sintamos culpables por el pasado, si algo hay que rescatar es que una creencia como esa refleja la búsqueda del hombre de encontrar un equilibrio en su vida.

Bart rasieren ist Schwerstarbeit. Überhaupt wenn man die Haare im Gesicht schon wochenlang wuchern hat lassen und schon wie ein kubanischer Revolutionär ausgesehen hat. Wobei, er war schon länger im Spätsommer nach unserem Kuba-Urlaub. Hätt also noch länger wachsen können. Aber: Hilft nichts, der Bart musste ab. Aber ich hab probiert, ob mir verschiedene Bart-Varianten stehen würden.

Der Ausgangspunkt – der Fidel-Castro-Bart. Zumindest ansatzweise. Wobei einige gemeint haben, das stehe mir gut. Trotzdem. Her mit dem Rasierer, denn: Es zwickt, fühlt sich auch wenn man den Bart pflegt ungepflegt an und: Für ein schönes Aussehen muss man den Bart trimmen. Nicht mit mir, das ist ja anstrengender als rasieren!

Rasierstufe Eins: Hier ein bisschen weg rasiert, dort ein bisschen weg rasiert und fertig: Koteletten mit Klobrillen-Bart. Wär mal was anderes, aber so ganz war ich dann doch nicht überzeugt. Macht einen doch älter als man ist so eine bärtige Mundumrundung.

Darum bin ich zur Rasierstufe Zwei gekommen: Der “My Name is Earl”-Bart. Sehr fesch. Würde wohl gutes Karma bringen. Schaut doch gleich nach Strizzi aus und hat was von einem Zuhälter-Look. Fast wär ich dabei geblieben, aber ganz zufrieden war ich damit doch wieder nicht. Wer weiß, ob der Zuhälter-Look wirklch so gut ankommt da draussen…. Also wurden die Rasiermesser wieder gewetzt.

Rasierstufe Drei: Der klassische proletarische Oberlippenbart. Fesch, aber nicht ganz auf der Höhe der Zeit. Da ich nicht in Simmering oder Favoriten wohne, hab ich auch davon Abstand genommen. Obwohl ich damit fast so fesch bin wie der wunderbare Austrofred. In einem ersten Schritt hab ich noch probiert, obs ohne Koteletten besser ausschaut, dann wieder ein bissl was wegretuschiert vom Bart.

Ich habs weiter probiert >>

Rasierstufe vier war ein Experiment: Wie sieht man mit dem Hitler-Bärtchen aus? Anfang des 20. Jahrhunderts war diese Oberlippen-Verzierung noch gang und gäbe. Heute nicht mehr denkbar, dass man den Bart so stehen lässt, wenn man nicht deutsch-tümlerisch herumlaufen will und nicht Karlheinz Essl heißt.

Damit also wieder zurück zum Ausgang: Rasierstufe fünf ist die Rückkehr zum Ausgangspunkt: Der Bart ist abrasiert, glatt wie ein Babypopo. Aber der Bart kommt wieder. Er wächst und wächst halt immer nach.

I really don’t watch a lot of TV, anything with Anthony Bourdain, Mike Rowe, Mark Harmon, or Hugh Laurie gets always my attention when I hit the remote, but if I come across My Name Is Earl, that sonofabitch wins hands down. Have y’all seen this show, hell, have y’all seen Joy? Hell, I’d fuck her. Please play the link, this bitch rocks.

Karma of Jesus by Mark Herringshaw

Karma of Jesus  is a new book from Baker Publishing by Pastor Mark Herringshaw. Obviously the title will grab you but it’s the content that matters.

As a point of background, Mark was being “heckled” during a presentation at a church so he invited the young man to speak with him at the conclusion. During the subsequent conversation, Mark took the concept of Karma (which the man brought up) and applied it to communicate the concept of Christ’s atonement.

As I interviewed Mark for a radio program, I was reminded of Paul in Pisidian Antioch and then later in Athens. How do we communicate the Truths of Scripture if we don’t speak the same language? Mark then said something I found very interesting.

We have to know what the question is before we can give the answer.

I know that is Evangelism 101, but it really hit me in the context of our conversation. Bottom-line? In our pop culture word of “My Name is Earl” and other places where the word “Karma” is used w/no understanding of what it really means, how do we effectively communicate God’s Truth? The book is worth looking into as a resource for doing just that!

Remember, if we really received what we deserved (karma), we would be in a mess of trouble. Thank God for the gift of grace!

Yours in Christ,
Marty

Ünü artık tüm dünyayı sarmış, Wow oynamış ya da alakası olmayan çoğu kişi tarafından bilinen, bizim Malkoçoğlu’nun yabancı versiyonu Leeroy Jenkins yakın zaman önce ünlü dizi My Name Is Earl’de işlendi. Bu bölümü izlemedim banada imba priest dostum Uğurcan söledi. Video’ya bakılırsa Earl’ün moron kardeşi Randy, 30 kişinin arasına giriyor. Tıpkı Leeroy gibi. Buyrun dizinin o kısmı.

Et nous voilà de retour pour un survol rapide de ce qui est arrivé dans nos petites malles magiques ! On sent les fêtes approcher, les livraisons semblent plus généreuses…

Pour commencer, deux “grosses” sorties, et non des moins intéressantes !

“Millénium, Les hommes qui n’aimaient pas les femmes“ : Alors, Millénium, c’est une trilogie de romans policiers écrite par le suédois Steig Larsson et qui a eu un succès mondial. Vu le nombre de gens lisant ces romans dans le métro ou dans le train, vous ne pouvez pas être passé à côté. En voici donc l’adaptation cinématographique qui, aux dires des lecteurs, est assez bien réussie, très fidèle au roman et très bien construite, vu la complexité de l’histoire.Pour avoir vu le film au cinéma sans en avoir lu le roman, je peux vous dire que l’histoire est captivante et très bien interprétée. On y retrouve un côté froid propre aux films nordiques. A voir (sauf si vous venez d’entamer la lecture du premier tome).

“Coraline“ est adapté du conte noir pour adultes et enfants de Neil Gaiman. Si vous connaissez « L’Etrange Noel de Monsieur Jack » de Henry Selick, un petit ‘déjà vu’ vous aura surement traversé l’esprit en voyant la jaquette de « Coraline » et c’est normal puisque c’est le même réalisateur.  Magnifique animation en stop-motion et en 3D (une première). Une jolie petite fable sur une jeune fille attirée par un autre univers sous prétexte qu’il y fait bon vivre (ce n’est qu’un leurre bien évidemment) et qui nous rappellera sans doute bien d’autres contes ou histoires pour enfants : “Pinocchio” attiré dans une fête foraine, “Alice” découvrant le pays des merveilles ou encore “Charlie” dans la chocolaterie… mais je vous en ai déjà trop dit ! Une chronique de la musique de film ici.

Si vous avez envie de vous donner des frissons (c’est Halloween pardi!) voici un bon film d’horreur : “La Dernière maison sur la gauche“ de Dennis Iliadis. Les spécialistes du genre se souviendront de la première version de Wes Craven de 1972 qui fit scandale à sa sortie à cause de la violence gratuite omniprésente. Pour avoir vu les deux versions, je peux vous dire que ce remake est fort proche, beaucoup plus moderne (j’ai trouvé que le film de 1972 avait pris un petit coup de vieux) et assez expéditif. Âmes sensibles, vous voilà prévenues!

“L’Autre“ de Patrick Mario Bernard et Pierre Trividic est un film français avec l’actrice Dominique Blanc. Elle  y interprète le rôle d’une femme maladivement jalouse. Un drame psychologique annoncé comme palpitant.

Après ça, et pour se calmer un peu, voici une comédie romantique tout en douceur et qui réunit deux grands acteurs (Emma Thompson et Dustin Hoffman) : “Last chance Harvey“ de Joel Hoppkins. Ce réalisateur m’avait déjà surprise avec “Mariage et conséquences“, une sorte de road-movie sur le thème du mariage, très agréable et inattendu. Les critiques de presse de “Last chance Harvey” étaient assez prometteuses.

Toujours sur le thème du mariage, mais à mille lieux des comédies romantiques auxquelles on peut s’attendre, “Rachel se marie“ de Jonathan Demme. Il s’agit d’une chronique d’un week-end en famille qui va révéler de nombreuses vérités. A comparer avec un « Festen » de Thomas Vinterberg (mais en beaucoup moins trash) ou « Anniversary party » de Alan Cumming. Jonathan Demme a fait le choix de filmer caméra à l’épaule, ce qui apporte une petite touche originale supplémentaire. Au scénario, on découvre les débuts prometteur de la fille de Sidney Lumet. Un film intéressant, énervant parfois (j’ai eu un peu de mal à croire à la famille bourgeoise américaine musicienne multiculturelle) mais il y a pas mal de moments forts émouvants.

Pour rire (ai-je envie de dire), voici le dernier opus de X-Men. Loin de moi l’envie de dénigrer cette série de films, le premier était d’ailleurs fort bien réussi, mais les numéros 2 et 3 m’avaient beaucoup déçues. Ce “X-Men origins : Wolverine“ explore, comme son titre l’indique, les origines du personnages Wolverine. Uniquement pour les fans inconditionnelles de cette saga et de Huh Jackman toujours aussi sexy dans son petit singlet moulant.

Deux séries-télé pour terminer ce survol de la semaine : “Burn Notice“, l’histoire d’un ex-espion devenu indésirable aux yeux du gouvernement qui va devoir faire sa propre enquête pour découvrir les raisons de son licenciement. “My name is Earl“, Earl est un escroc à la petite semaine mais un jour il gagne au loto. A partir de ce jour, il décide de racheter toutes les fautes qu’il a commises dans sa vie, une par une. Un style qui n’est pas sans rappeler Kevin Smith. Pour ma part, la série est déjà dans mon lecteur…

Qu’on se le dise !

Brigitte Segers

]]> http://babyroyale.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/joy-turner-och-jag/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:54:13 +0000 Jenny http://babyroyale.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/joy-turner-och-jag/

Vi hakar på med likheter mellan GH och JÅ här nu rå, medan potatisen fortfarande är het… Oh Captain, my captain har genom åren ihärdat att jag och Joy i My Name is Earl hyser vissa likheter, jag vet inte vilka det skulle vara. Kräver härmed bättre argument och motiveringar. Blond, till synes rätt blåst men skärpt när det gäller och hyggligt uppkäftig?

So I’ve been in a bad mood this week, that’s why I’ve been away from my computer. I’ve been trying to work out a lot and get my mind off of everything shitty that has happened. Let me run through the List really quickly:

1. Notre Dame Lost a close game to USC
2. the Giants lost a blowout to the Saints
3. I left the Yankee v. Angels game on Saturday and missed A-Rod’s heroics because my dad was tired
4. The Yankees lost Monday
5. I lost the possibility to win 650$ in my suicide pool because the Jets were upset by Buffalo
6. I lost a 150$ parlay to win another 450$ because the Eagles were upset by Oakland
7. I recently stubbed my toe
8. My sister sung the Britney Spears threesome song in front of me
9. I started Eddie Royal in fantasy football and his PR TD and KR TD did not count for me but counted for my opponent who started Denver’s defense/special teams
10. I had to pay 60$ rent for the same room I lived in for 21 1/2 years
11. A year ago my friend was shot in the head by guys trying to rob him.
12. Not to mention I wasn’t nearly cool enough to be at Blogs with Balls 2.0 (via Gunaxin, via WithLeather)

And remember… It’s only fucking Tuesday. So I’ve been a little testy. Not to mention the blogging community has been rubbing in all of my sports failures. My friends rub in my betting/fantasy failures. My toe hurts… You get where I’m going with this right? Logic is not a happy camper…

So I was making jokes on Twitter and expected a funny reply out of Ethan Suplee if I compared Frankie the Enforcer from Boy Meets World with Donkeylips from Salute Your Shorts. So needless to say, he got offended. So offended that he didn’t even reply to me publicly. He replied privately so I wouldn’t gain any followers or anything. Now, I could care less if a celebrity talks to me. Ever. But if they talk to me on Twitter, I can gain followers who may or may like my humor and eventually pay me for something. But noooo. Ethan Suplee is a little Sensitive Sally.

Get Out of the Bitter Barn and Come Play in the Hay!

Now, as a self proclaimed asshole, one must assume that Ethan Suplee is very sensitive about this issue and has heard it many times before. He just Direct Messaged me again saying “I won’t be sensitive if you don’t think all fat people look alike” which is pushing the 140 character maximum but at least he’s being real and not just a douche. Or maybe I’m being a douche, like usual.

Am I even THAT far off??

Here is his Direct Messages to me, Zoomed in.

Welcome, once again, to our weekly installment of fun finds on the internet.

This week, as every week, we serve up our links with a side of cheesecake.  Today’s selection is Nadine Velazquez who played everyone’s favorite exotic bouncer, Catalina, on My Name is Earl.  With this we bid a fond fairwell to Catalina, Earl and the rest of the denizens of Camden County.  Earl was just one of the victim’s of the Jay Leno experiment on NBC.  I’m still hoping karma nails Leno and Carson Daly is given that time slot.

Now, on to the links.

• It tastes like burning.
• Best.  Contest.  Ever.
• Speaking of cartoon characters.
• Lost and Zombies.
• Meet the best sports writer in America, according to John.
• And speaking of sportswriters, Malcom Gladwell (who is always necessary reading) on brain injuries in football.
• Jack Black promotes Brutal Legend as his character, Eddy Riggs.
• It’s been a TiVo bloodbath as of late. Here’s the only show currently on TV that
  John cannot miss.
• As seen on The Ocho.
• A fine TV blog at 411 mania.
• New Jack makes a visit to NWA Anarchy.
• The Balloon Boy saga recapped on Facebook, Fresh-Prince-Of-Bel-Air-style.
• I bet lists like this one is on here.
• He must have cleared out his couch cushions.
• Question 1 - Why are you famous?
• Has The Office lost a step?
• \m/
• In honor of this weekend's Allman Brothers concert.
• Pwned.
• Man up!
• Oh those wacky Japanese game shows.
• And finally, the Lizard King can STILL do anything.

I was watching My Name is Earl (which is almost as bad as the Simpsons) tonight with my dad, and there was a great scene that I think is worth trying to describe.

Scene: there is a young boy and his mom, who is smoking a cigarette, celebrating the boy’s birthday. The boy is sitting in front of a large cake with four candles on it.

Boy (to mom): Mommy, why are there only four candles on my cake? I’m turning five.

Mom (to self): Of course I know how old you are. (to boy) See, look… one, two, three, four, (she points to each candle as she counts it)…five (she sticks her cigarette into the cake).

O cabo norte-americano A&E cancelou a série ‘The Cleaner’. A emissora optou por não renovar o rehab-drama estrelado por Benjamin Bratt, uma espécie de ‘My Name is Earl’ mais pesado e dramático.

Outra série cancelada pelo canal foi o drama policial ‘The Beast’. Mesmo elogiada pela crítica, a produção teve que ser interrompida após a morte do ator Patrick Swayze, protagonista do seriado.

‘The Cleaner’ teve duas temporadas completas de 13 episódios.

I thought I’d get you up to speed with what shows I’m watching right now – maybe someone wants to talk about one of these shows, or recommend others?

I’m in happy TV-land right now and might be overdoing it a little. But then again, when there’s good stuff, you have to take advantage of it, don’t you?

• Finished Season 2 of True Blood. No surprise there, I guess. But I’m thinking about actually trying the books again because the ending of this season and what Alan Ball said about the next left me on tenterhooks and I don’t know if I can wait for Season 3. [SPOILER] Thank Goodness that Maryann is finally gone. What’s up with Annoying!Tara? And please, let Jessica and Hoyt work things out, I really liked them together! [/SPOILER]
• Started to watch Sanctuary and finished the first season. While I thought most of the stuff was pretty unimaginative and a little stuck on clichés, I somehow still got hooked. So it won’t be my most favourite show ever, but I guess I’ll still continue watching. Though I have to admit that their constant use of the word “abnormal” bugs me to hell. [SPOILER] Does anybody else think that even non-vampire Tesla has more teeth in his mouth than any person should have? What’s with Brainwashed!Ashley? And can somebody please exchange Amanda Tapping with an actress who can actually act? [/SPOILER]
• Picked up watching My Name Is Earl again. I don’t remember why, but I stopped watching in the middle of Season 3, probably for no good reason. I now finished this season and will start Season 4 as soon as I have a disc drive that actually works.
• I finished Season 1 of the Sarah Jane Adventures (in the absence of all things Doctor and Torchwood) and it is actually quite amusing, even if really for kids. I’m now getting into Season Two and waiting for a Doctor cameo.
• I rewatched Ally McBeal and remembered why I never finished it. Season 1 is very good. Season 2 is fine. Season 3 starts to drag a bit. Season 4 is good again. And Season 5 sucks great big ass.
• I finished the fifth season of The Closer. [SPOILER] Watching the fights between Brenda and Captain Raydor was pure joy. Huge props to both, Kyra Sedgwick and Mary McDonnell. [/SPOILER]
• Leverage is pretty cool. But what’s with this break right now? Why doesn’t it go on? [SPOILER] And I’m afraid what will happen if Sophie really doesn’t come back. She is one of the best things about this show. [/SPOILER]
• The start of the second season of Fringe is already awesome. I’m really looking foward to what happens next. [SPOILER] Butbutbut WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE CHARLIE??? And will there be another Spock cameo? [/SPOILER]
• Watched the pilot for Eastwick. I am not convinced. [SPOILER] Couldn’t they have found an actually attractive Devil? [/SPOILER]
• Community on the other hand, had me laughing right away. That one’s a keeper. [As far as I can say that after two episodes.]
• I watched the first season of Nurse Jackie and it is pretty awesome. I love Jackie and I’m really looking forward to Season 2. Although it does give me weird Twilight-crossover reactions. [SPOILERS] Peter Facinelli, in Twilight Carlisle the Doctor, in Nurse Jackie Fitch the Doctor, has a nervous tick where he grabs women’s breasts when he gets nervous. Everytime he does that in the show, I’m tempted to say, “CARLISLE! YOU’RE A MORMON VAMPIRE WHO PROBABLY NEVER EVEN TOUCHES HIS WIFE’S BREASTS, LET ALONE THOSE OF ALMOST COMPLETE STRANGE NURSES AND DOCTORS!” And then I remember what I’m watching… [/SPOILERS]
• Watched the pilot of FlashForward and so far, they’ve got me. I mean, how could I not like a show that has Shakespeare, Sulu, Merry and Captain Norrington? And Alex Kingston is always a plus. And the mystery intrigues me. Of course, there are some faults with the pilot and this is only a preliminary report, but…
• Glee is kind of a serialised High School Musical. It’s sweet and the music is really good. But if they won’t stop focussing solely on the white able-bodied people and keep the sassy black girl and the shy Asian girl and the boy in the wheelchair the stereotypes and the “look at us, we’re so politically correct” casts they are now, I won’t be watching it much longer.
• I’m a little behind on Numb3rs, but I plan to rectify that. And then I can watch the new season.
• Season 2 of Dollhouse started with quite a bang… [SPOILERS] So, Echo/Caroline remembers already? And Dr. Saunderson character development is pretty amazing. And I loved that we got a closer look at Topher. And also the scence with De Witt and Victor. [/SPOILERS]
• The same old awesomeness in the new season: Castle, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Eureka.
• Season Premiers I’m still awaiting: Lie to Me (tonight, yay!), 30 Rock.
• New shows I’m gonna try: V, Three Rivers (Alex O’Loughlin is all I’m going to say to that).

I was talking to a friend last night, and our discussion wandered over into a discussion about which post of mine so far is my favorite. I told her that my favorite one was the one I wrote after watching a particular episode of My Name is Earl. That particular post – and I just looked it up – it was Reason # 22, so it happened fairly early into my keeping this blog – really hit home for me, because it was such a light bulb moment.

In that particular episode, Earl hurt some guy by hurting his car. By hurting his car, it attracted many other hurts in this guy’s life. Pretty soon, this guy went from being happy to being all fucked up. By the time Earl meets up with him again, this time to right his wrongs, he spends the whole episode thinking the guy is building a bomb. And the way the guy acts, we all think so too. He’s a loner, he lives in a hotel room, and he keeps buying all these weird things that could be used to make a bomb big enough to hurt a lot of people.

By the end of the episode, we find out that the guy is actually building a rocket ship that will take him far away so he doesn’t have to be with people again. This is when Earl realized that by hurting this man like that, he not only closed this man’s eyes to all the good in the world, he also opened this man’s eyes to all the bad in the world. I feel this is an excellent representation of what happened to me – the aftermath of that babysitter betraying all that was good in my world by molesting my brother and I. I was apparently a very happy child until then. And then after that, I was someone who always looked over her shoulder, covered my head with the covers, wore so many blankets in summer, etc. This is why you shouldn’t fuck kids.

I am so afraid these days. It’s hard to leave my house, and I am afraid even in my own home. I told my friend that I feel like I am a caterpillar who is wearing a butterfly mask.

My friend had the loveliest thing to say about it though. She said: Well, for me a butterfly is what it is not because of its face, but its ability to fly. If this mask is what enables you to fly, maybe it’s not that bad to wear it.

1) Alicia Keys- Singer/ Smokin’ Aces, Please don’t have any kids just yet. Just great.

2) Stacey Dash- Mo’ Money, At 43 she still has it.

3) Keri Hilson- R&B, Not a fan of her music but I think she is very pretty.

4) Kim Kardashian- Reggie Bush, Most women hate her & I see why, she is sexy as hell

5) Jennifer Lopez- In living color, Not really a fan but nice to look at.

6) Kerry Washington- I think I love my wife,

7) Gabrielle Union- Daddy’s little girls, She has a lot of haters but not me.

CoCo- Ice T’s girl. Just eye candy.

9) Laila Ali- Boxing, To pretty to be fighting.

10) Lisa Raye- Players club, nice all around.

11) Lark Voorhies- Save by the bell, Nice all around.

12) Eva Pigford- Next top model, Very pretty.

13) Marrissa Coleman- Washington Mystics, One of the prettier women in the league.

14) Hayden Panttiere- Heroes, A fine ass cheerleader.

15) Taraji P. Henson- I can do bad all by myself, I just like her look.

16) LeToya Luckett- Destiny Child, Pretty.

17) Meagan Good- Stomp the Yard, Sexy ass lips, not bad to look at either.

18) Toccara- Next top model, Nice all around for real men who need something extra.

19) Rosario Dawson- Seven pounds, Sexy.

20) Shakira- She wolf, Love the way that body moves.

21) Halle Berry- Miss Berry, Sexy as she gets older.

22) Nia Long- Big Mamas house, Sexy as hell.

23) Nicki Minaj- Whack rapper, Eye candy.

24) Eva Mendes- Hitch, Sexy.

25) Salma Hayek- From Dusk Til Dawn, Sexy grown woman.

26) Regina Hall- Scary Movie, Pretty girl next door.

27) Jessica Biel- Chuck & Larry, From seventh heaven to this? NICE.

28) Jessica Alba- Fantastic Four, Pretty,please stop losing weight.

29) Jessica Simpson- Dukes of Hazard, When she has weight on her she is fine.

30) Vanessa Williams- Ugly Betty, One of the sexiest woman alive.

31) Scarlett Johansson- Iron Man 2, Bad as hell.

32) Charlize Theron- Hancock, I luv this chick.

33) Keisha Knight Pulliam- Cosby show, She growed up so nice.

34) Jennifer Aniston- Friends, Sexy.

35) Denis Richards- Undercover Brother, Wild Thing, She was at her best in these movies.

36) Jordan Sparks- American Idol, Nice for real men who like something to hold on too.

37) Tamia- Singer, One of Canada’s finest imports.

38) Tahiry- Joe Budden’s girl, Eye candy.

39) Sanna Lathan- Love & Basketball, She has it all to me.

40) Roselyn Sanchez- Rush Hour 2, Nice all around.

41) Jamie Pressly- My name is Earl, Country & fine as hell.

42) Alyssa Milano- Who’s the boss, She is now.

43) Soleil Moon Frye- Punky Brewster, Surprised me ,nice.

44) Kate Beckinsale- Underworld, Sexy.

45) Tia Mowry- Sister, Sister & The game, Grew up to be a nice woman.

46) Ali Larter- Heroes, Nice

47) Adranne Curry- Next Top Model, Attractive with a Great body.

48) Catherine Zeta Jones- Traffic, Sexy, Sexy, Sexy.

49) Paula Patton- Idle Wild, Robin Thicke lucky guy. 

50) Megan Fox- Transformers, Sexy ass look just to skinny.

Fall TV is here!  Fall TV is here!  I’m a tad excited season premiers have gotten under way if you couldn’t tell.  Thank goodness for DVR and online watching because I have a long list of shows I want to see and they all seem to fall on the same nights and times – my nights being Monday and Thursday.  But I have to ask, who are these corporate people who decide which shows to cancel, which ones they’re keeping, and which ones they’re going to add?  I don’t know where I’ve been all summer but it was only last week that I read My Name Is Earl had been canned.  WHAT???  WHY???  Why, why, why would they do that??  This show was HILARIOUS, completely different, and most importantly it was working.  Geez, what the hell NBC?  As far as I know it was still pretty high in the ratings, still bringing in the viewers.

Right now in it’s place, they’re showing Saturday Night Live Weekend Updates.  Does something seem a little off to anyone other than me?  Like the words Saturday and Weekend on a show that’s being aired on a Thursday?  And has it escaped the minds of these corporate people that this show already exists…on Saturday night?  I know in a couple of weeks 30 Rock will be back and SNL will return to Saturday night.  So I guess the real show that replaced Earl is a new comedy called Community staring Joel McHale.  I watched this pilot the other day and it doesn’t totally suck right off the bat.  It does have the potential of being kind of funny but since I’m basing this off of only the pilot it very well could tip the other direction and totally blow.  I like Joel McHale, I really do.  But if it comes between Joel or Earl…sorry Joel, Earl wins every time.  Besides, don’t you already have your own TV show on E!?

Maybe NBC could put you in a time slot on another day of the week.  I for one would not be opposed of this show replacing one of the trillion new medical dramas the networks have added this year.  Or better yet, why is Gary Unmarried still on the air??  Seriously folks, I thought this crap of a show was a fill in while the writers went on strike.  Who’s the genius keeping it on the air?  Oh yeah, those corporate people.  I’ll bet they don’t even watch TV.  They’re like the celebrities that pay for court side seats and then show up wearing sunglasses and watch the game in complete silence.  Bunch of pretentious pricks.  Why not let the guy in the nosebleed section whose yelling and high fiving everyone on his row down in the front?  At least you know he’ll appreciate the seats…and that he’s awake.

There’s another new show that premiered this week called Accidentally on Purpose.  I will admit that I did not watch this so for all I know it could be hysterically funny and the break out hit of the season but I doubt it.  Basic premise is “older” woman (Jenna Elfman) hooks up with younger guy and gets pregnant.  Didn’t Fran Drescher have a show vaguely similar to this?  Minus the baby?  And didn’t it do crappy and get canceled?  That’s what I thought.  And ABC is doing their version of these two shows combined called Cougar Town (Courtney Cox).  This hasn’t started yet so again, this could also be the breakout smash hit of the season but again, I doubt it.

I’m not trying to hate on these new shows and I actually kind of like Jenna Elfman and Courtney Cox but I really want My Name Is Earl to come back.  And it makes no difference to me that they aren’t even on the same network.  Is that really so much to ask?  First they took away Prison Break and now this.  The networks are conspiring against me I know it.  Next thing I know The Office and Heroes will be a fling of the past.  Maybe I should start a campaign promoting shows I actually detest.  In the spirit of that I say, “All hail to Gary Unmarried!”  I don’t think I’d fool anyone though, least of all karma.  And if there’s one thing I learned from Earl, it’s don’t mess with karma.

- Perdonad, no nos han presentado. Soy Joy Turner, la vecina de al lado, te pasé las toallitas de lejía para el culo, espero que no te hayan irritado…

- Un poco.

- ¡Genial! Escuchad, sé que por fuera parezco muy dulce pero por dentro soy una zorra de marca mayor. Tengo una camiseta que lo dice, me la regalaron el día de la madre.

Veréis, el caso es que mi abogada me ha hecho tomar pastillas para controlar la ira. Y cómo habéis utilizado la cabeza de mi hijo como canasta para jugar al baloncensto con latas, dejaré de tomarlas y volveré en cuanto se me pase el efecto.

Fíjate, un árbol de verdad! jajaj…  Su olor me encanta.. en serio…qué hermoso.

Cuando se me pase el efecto no sé qué va a pasar exactamente, pero me imagino que con esta lata te romperé los dientes y tu mujer me dirá que deje de patearte y tus hijos llorarán cuando vean cómo te queda la cara.

Puede… que te corte una oreja y me haga con ella un monedero. Jaja.

¡Muy bien! Volveré en tres días para daros el regalo de Navidad prometido, salvo que decidáis que es el momento de mudaros.

- Es el momento de mudarnos.

- ¡Es una noticia fantástica! Y por cierto, ese Santa Claus que mueve el culito es realmente adorable.

- Cógelo

(Joy Turner en “Me llamo Earl“, segunda temporada, capítulo 11, minuto 13:23)

Me aburría y he recortado la escena:

With the vast majority of returning shows airing their season premieres next week, yesterday’s new TV on DVD releases offer a last chance to catch up on your favourite television shows.  My pick of the week is a comedy, but other offerings include a recently remade 80’s favourite, some gossiping surgeons, supernatural creatures, and even everyone’s favourite Canadian mutant, Wolverine.  Here’s a look at what’s out on DVD this week.

My Pick: The Big Bang Theory Season Two

The original premise of The Big Bang Theory, a brainy meets blonde odd couple scenario, didn’t sound all that thrilling and, for this TV enthusiast, the fact that it was created by Chuck Lorre, the man behind Two and a Half Men, did not bode well.  So when I caught an episode of the show during its second season, mostly because it aired directly after How I Met Your Mother, I wasn’t expecting much.  Imagine my surprise when the show turned out to be not just humourous but often laugh out loud funny!

The Big Bang Theory is certainly one of, if not the, funniest shows on television.  Although it was shut out of a Best Comedy Series Emmy nomination in a newly expanded category containing seven nominees, Jim Parsons has been nominated as Lead Actor in a Comedy at the awards, which air this Sunday.  The sitcom revolves around four brilliant but geeky scientists and their relationship with waitress/aspiring actress Penny, who lives across the hall.  While it is undoubtedly funnier if, like this TV enthusiast, you enjoy the “geeky” things in life and are able to pick up on the many references to Star Trek, comic books, and video games, even the scientific elements, which are unfamiliar to an English and History major like me, are humourous.  Each episode is titled in the form of a scientific theory, such as “The Fuzzy Boots Corollary” or “The Bath Gift Item Hypothesis”.

The second season builds on the relationships and sense of humour established during its writers’ strike shortened first season, and the show really hits its stride.  Jim Parsons plays the socially inept Dr. Sheldon Cooper, whose obsessive neatness, need for routine, and inability to get sarcasm and irony impair his interactions with his friends, while Johnny Galecki plays his roommate Leonard, the straight man role.  Kaley Cuoco (Penny), Simon Helberg (Howard), and Kunal Nayyar (Raj) also star.

So many brilliant shows are cancelled before they have the chance to fulfill their potential.  Luckily The Big Bang Theory isn’t one of them.  It has built an audience and the decision to try out the show in the 9:30 PM timeslot, after ratings hit Two and a Half Men, proved so much of a success that it will now regularly air at that time.  Last Spring CBS showed their faith in the show by giving it a surprise two season pick up, much to this TV enthusiast’s delight, so you can watch without fear of cancellation.

The third season premieres this Monday, September 21st.

Also on DVD This Week:

Kevin McKidd and Sandra Oh in Grey's Anatomy.

If you’re in the mood for something more dramatic, pick up the fifth season of Grey’s Anatomy on DVD.  Grey’s has never been must see TV for me, and this year the show had its issues.  New Lesbian character Brooke Hahn was abruptly written out of the show, and Sadie (Melissa George), Meredith’s college friend, was poorly received and departed Seattle Grace.  However, more successful changes included the addition of the brilliant Kevin McKidd (Owen Hunt), as an army doctor and love interest for Sandra Oh’s Cristina, and pediatric surgeon Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw), who will be a regular this season on the show.  Less successful was the plotline involving Izzy (Katherine Heigl) who has “ghost sex” with Denny (guest star Jeffrey Dean Morgan) before the long overdue revelation that he is a hallucination and a symptom of something larger.  The fifth season also includes the all important 100th episode of the show, which featured a wedding.

Grey’s Anatomy spin-off Private Practice, following Addison’s move to the Oceanside Wellness clinic in Los Angeles,  releases its second season on DVD today as well.

With a new movie remake due to hit theatres this Friday, what better time to release the first and second seasons of 80’s television show Fame on DVD?  The show followed the lives of the students and faculty at the New York High School for the Performing Arts and it was nominated for, and won, a number of Emmy Awards.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand people who watch and take CSI: Miami seriously, the first five minutes of David Caruso removing and putting back on his sunglasses is all I can watch without laughing, but for those who do enjoy the series, its seventh season arrives on DVD this week.  More traditionally comedic is the fourth season of It’s always sunny in Philadelphia.The show revolves around four self-centered friends who own an Irish bar and episodes deal with controversial subject matter, including racism and abortions. FX has ordered 39 additional episodes of the series, carrying it through a seventh season.  Less fortunate was NBC comedy My Name Is Earl, which was cancelled last May.  The sitcom starred Jason Lee as Earl Hickey, a petty crook who comes to believe in the concept of karma after he wins the lottery and is promptly hit by a car, losing his ticket.  He proceeds to create a list of the bad things he has done and to do a corresponding good deed for each item.  The fourth and final season of the show is out on DVD this week.

The second season of Canadian comedy Little Mosque on the Prairie is also out on DVD this week.  The Saskatchewan-set series begins its fourth season September 28th, with the third arriving on DVD in January 2010.  Although the series isn’t Canadian, its protagonist certainly is – Wolverine is one of the best loved Marvel characters and he arrives on DVD this week in the first season of animated show Wolverine and the X-men. This isn’t the only animated show to feature Marvel characters; In the early 90’s Fox aired X-men, which received critical and audience praise.  More recently X-men: Evolution, featuring largely teenaged versions of the characters, aired on WB kids for four seasons.   Wolverine and the X-men hopes to achieve similar success.

Amanda Tapping in Sanctuary.

There are two science-fiction offering this week.  One is the first season Canadian series Sanctuary, a Syfy original series starring Amanda Tapping (Stargate SG-1) as Dr. Helen Magnus, a 157-year-old English scientist who seeks out non-human intelligent creatures (known as abnormals) and provides safe haven for them.  The series was well received, with its premiere drawing in 3 million viewers to become the highest rated original series premiere since Eureka in 2006, and will air a second season beginning in October.

Finally, the 2008 Doctor Who Christmas special “The Next Doctor” makes its North American DVD debut this week.  David Tennant makes one of his last appearances as the Tenth Doctor, while Dervla Kirwin plays the villainous Miss Hartigan, and David Morrissey appears as a strange man with a TARDIS and a companion named Rosita. Could he be the next doctor?

New DVD’s that will be added to our shelves on Tuesday September 15th.

Fast and Furious
Dragonball Evolution
Miss March
An American Affair
Angel of Death
Bart Got a Room
Green Lantern
Fifth Commandment
Juncture
Necessary Evil
• X-Men Origins: Wolverine (also available in Blu-Ray)
• Bionicle: Legend Reborn
• Blood and Bones
• Bodyguard
• Camille
• Canvas
• Crew
• Dead Girl
• Grace
• Next Door Air
• Spinning into Butter
• Barbie and the Three Musketeers
• Diego’s Arctic Rescue
• Strawberry Shortcake: The Movie
• Big Bang Theory, Season 2
• Grey’s Anatomy, Season 5
• Heartland, Season 2
• Little Mosque on the Prairie, Season 2
• My Name is Earl, Season 4
• X-Men, Volume 3
• X-Men, Volume 4

For more information on these movies such as ratings, synopsis, reviews, and video trailers click on the movie title above. This will open the NewThisWeek.ca website.

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To Save A Network in Five Easy Steps

It’s clear by the chaos that ensued Memorial Day weekend that NBC is in total disarray.  In the span of two months the network went from resigning former NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly for more four years to having his big new hit Heroes decline hugely, his new fall line up panned and hiring self made TV mogul and wunderkind producer Ben Silverman of The Office, Ugly Betty, and Who Wants to Be Millionaire fame.

Silverman is a unique cat, he’s giving up a much more lucrative and relatively blame free post as a independent producer for the high risk/high reward world of modern day network television where all four major networks presidents have changed in the past 4 years. He’s taking a major chance at height of his powers for a once in a lifetime shot to be, as his reported idol Brandon Tartikoff was, the man who saved NBC.

Therefore I address this article to Mr. Silverman in particular. He’s taking on a monumental task in remaking the network, which has struggled to understand its place and its-self since Jerry, Elaine, George and the now infamous Kramer, were all locked up at the end of Seinfeld’s run. So Mr. Silverman for your own sake and the sake of all of us who grew up watching Must See TV here’s how to save NBC in five not always easy steps.

1. STOP rehashing Cable TV.

Its cable TV for a reason, cable shows is for small intense audiences and passive channel flippers. The networks degrade themselves every summer by hauling out cable ready reality shows for the cheapest laughs and weak melodrama.

No more Real Wedding Crashers or Thank God You’re Here or another NBC creation the upcoming Age of Love– enough! They’re nice niche shows that would be perfect for a Bravo or a VH1 but not on the network of Seinfeld and Cosby.

That’s not to say that network television can’t be a place for niche and reality TV or the next incarnation of NBC. But when you do use this type of programming please think bigger. NBC’s Deal or No Deal and Fox’s American Idol clearly say there’s a large audience for the genre.

The beauty of Idol or Deal is that the idea is not only big and engrossing but also inclusive. They’re not made for the 18 – 49 demo or some small niche they’re what network television should be a large tent where all potential viewers are embraced.

The massive hits of recent years ABC’s Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy, and Fox’s House have one thing in common they they’re not only scripted but appeal to a wide audience with their diverse characters both racially and age wise. NBC should follow that model. Worry about niches later… viewers now.

2. Niches don’t bring riches.

The highest rated niche dramas i.e. Lost don’t have long shelf lives after they’ve reached their apexes. So NBC and no other network should bet its future on the long-term success of Sci-Fi, even if they’re Heroes. I’d admit that Heroes: Origins a mini-series is a good idea but the Bionic Woman!

NBC should think broader and bigger and outside of its own walls. As tempting as it is to rehash your biggest ideas one must approach it like CBS did with the original CSI as a lead in to Without A Trace or ABC did with Desperate Housewives as a lead in to Grey’s Anatomy. Neither show was a clear carbon copy but they were clever takes that appeal to a similar audience. NBC’s new programs Bionic, Chuck where a man learns he’s a super-hero and the Quantum Leap/Sliders clone Journeyman are clear knockoffs of the originals. A note to all TV programmers YOUR VIEWERS AREN’T STUPID!

The network should continue to follow Reilly’s motto, which was coined by another former NBC president Fred Silverman, “First be the Best, than be First.” Reilly developed truly unique programs like Friday Night Lights, 30 Rock and The Office but sadly these programs because their small audiences aren’t network cornerstones. It’s clear the network needs more Heroes like successes but programs like 30 Rock are sorely needed and should be nurtured by network television. Its shows like these who serve as precursors for larger hits down the line.

3. Cut the Fat.

In recent weeks Donald Trump has whined that his show the Apprentice didn’t make the fall schedule and wasn’t even announced as a replacement and I say huzzah! Make Trump the first of a long list of exoduses.

ABC went through a similar period after the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire bubble burst in 2001, its schedule was depleted lacked an identity and hits. ABC went through a painful purge for several years but it was one that paved the way for Lost, Desperate Housewives, and Grey’s Anatomy. NBC must do the same.

As much as I adore Scrubs if the state of network comedy was 10% better it would have been canceled two years ago. ER was over the hill five years ago and has finally relented its time slot in recent years, put it out of its misery. Despite the advertising the fluffy music video like dramedy Las Vegas was never a hit and should be thrown in the trash.

NBC should also learn not to overuse its assets like Deal or Law and Order. Idol is special because it airs once a week; NBC not only airs Deal two or three times a week but twice a night on CNBC. Why watch the first run if you can easily see repeats of it without buying the on i-tunes or online which is still a herky-jerky stream for most of us.

Cutting the fat will also help the creative process opening new time slots for new shows. The only way to generate new hits is to approach as ABC has develop a dozen new shows and find slots for them all. Some will fail others will be the next Heroes. You don’t go about finding a new hit comedy by developing one comedy. Which leads me to my next point…

4. Make comedy a priority.

Reinstating Must See TV Thursday was a good start, but its just that a start. Programming 101 says if your opponents are winning going one way you go the other. Sitcoms are still strong in syndication and original ones are popping up all over cable. The audience is still there. NBC was in shambles in the early 80’s when the sitcom was last declared dead once before… and than there was Cosby.

Cosby was an alternate universe when compared to the shows like “All in the Family” who dominated before them. The success of Ben Silverman’s ABC dramady Ugly Betty and its precursors like ABC’s Desperate Housewives and Fox’s Ally McBeal say that maybe hour-long comedies are the direction to go in. Not the reality comedy hybrid direction. Every reality hybrid show such as the Punk’d rip off NBC’s The Real Wedding Crashers and CBS’s Fired have been abject failures both creatively and ratings wise.

The network is already in position to lead a comedy renaissance with The Office and My Name is Earl. Now the network as all the networks needs are broader bigger hits.

Silverman who scoured the world for Millionaire, The Office, Ugly Betty could be the perfect guy to do just that. Which brings me to my final tip…

5. Lose the Mandates.

His predecessor Kevin Reilly was handcuffed by NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker’s mandate that the network should stop programming dramas and comedies at the 8:00 hour. Zucker favored a more cost effective programming choice.

Besides ratings, cost is clearly driving forces behind a decade of unscripted programming, but it seems silly to depend shows so that go out of style quicker than I-pods especially at the expense comedies.

Comedies work best early in the evening… i.e. I Love Lucy, All in the Family to NBC’s own Cosby, Mad About You, Friends etc, all of which were 8PM shows at their height. Plus most “unscripted shows ” make poor lead-ins for dramas and comedies, just ask everyone not named House on Fox’s schedule. Sitcoms are a tried and true response.

It’s only common sense to think that surrendering a literally a third of your lineup to reality shows is insanity. Furthermore so is airing countless Law and Order reruns and Dateline repeats on Saturdays.

It’s clear that the demo-crazed networks don’t want the audience available on Friday and Saturday nights but NBC doesn’t have that luxury anymore. They’re buried in fourth place and must make those nights watchable again.

It was only ten years ago that Jack Bauer’s godfather, Chuck Norris starred CBS’ Walker Texas Ranger. Walker was a top 20 show and in this day of depressed Neilsons it would be a top ten program. While sheer brutality for brutality’s sake seems not to work on network TV i.e. NBC’s The Black Donnelleys and CBS’s Smith, but rogues like Bauer, House, CSI’s Gil Grissom, CSI: Miami’s Horatio Caine are among TV’s biggest stars. NBC could capitalize on the Friday and Saturday collapses on the other networks.

So Mr. Silverman you must demand that these mandates be dropped in favor of a more aggressive schedule, particularly on Thursdays which account for approximately a third of the networks’ ad revenue. It was aggression and creativity by NBC that made Thursdays TV’s most important night and the same that catapulted CBS past NBC and ABC past CBS more recently.  It will take the same to take back the night and all of prime time. If these tactics or similar aren’t taken by NBC, the network could be looking at a repeat life of Reilly before we know it.

Postscript: Ben Silverman failed miserably. NBC is in worse shape then it has ever been. Silverman left the network in disgrace this summer. The success or failure of the defining move of his tenure bringing Jay Leno to prime time will likely shape how he’s remembered.

Jason Lee: Hiding his fineness behind his Earlness?

APPEARANCE: 3.5

L: I thought Jason Lee was cute in a goofy, boyish way in Mallrats. I also enjoyed his outfit in that. But I realized that he was totally foxy in Almost Famous when he’s swaggering around in his tight pants, Lynard Skynard beard, and belt buckle that weighs more than he does. He was truly fine! He is much less foxy on My Name is Earl, but I just ignore that because underneath that mustache and bad hair, I know the troof.

I: I love Jason Lee! I think he’s super fine and cute and tall. I found him to be charming and foul mouthed in Chasing Amy. Of course I like his dark hair/dark eyes combo and he’s sassy (which is more of his personality but it contributes to his sexiness). He was definitely foxy in Almost Famous even though he had dirty facial hair. And I like that he doesn’t have too much of an ego to play a non-good-looking dude in MNiE.

PORTFOLIO: 3

I: I think Jason Lee has made some alright career choices. You know my thoughts and feelings regarding Kevin Smith (that he’s gross and he sucks) but JL got his start doing KS movies when they were actually decent. And I enjoyed him in Vanilla Sky and Almost Famous! Howevs, I’ve yet to see him in any real starring role in a movie. He seems to get cast as the sidekick all the time. Come into your own Jason Lee!

L: Jason Lee’s made some career mistakes in his time (e.g., Kissing a Fool) but I think that all the good stuff (MNiE, Mallrats, etc.) will fortunately overshadow that. Does Jason Lee even have leading man potential, aside from being Earl? I’m not sure. I don’t know what kind of movie I can see him in where he’s the star.

CHOICES: 2

L: What else is Jason Lee up to? Isn’t he married? I support that, if I’m not just making that up. I don’t know too much about J.Lee outside of his portfolio—and I think that’s a good thing!

I: Jason Lee’s the one who named his kid PILOT INSPEKTOR! How do you feel about that? He is married, but not to Pilot Inspektor’s babymama. I guess he’s all right. He acts his age and isn’t out being a jackass.

L: Ee! I support Pilot! I enjoy wacky bebe names. I don’t support him being a Scientologist though!

PERSONALITY: 3.5

I: I think J.Lee would be a fine addition to our Ultimate Party! He would really mesh well with the other funny guys we’ve invited. He seems fun and laid back and wouldn’t judge us for just talking about run-of-the-mill life stuff.

L: I hope he comes dressed like Brodie in Mallrats. That would be foxy. And I too think he can keep it real with Paul Rudd, M. Show and those clowns.

ROMANTIC POTENTIAL: 2

L: He seems to have a romantic life full of ups and downs (bebes to accompany each failed romance!) but he seems like he would be sweet, as in “Here’s a candlelight dinner catered by McDonalds” sweet, not the roses-and-wine sweet.

I: Yeah, if he didn’t have multiple baby-mamas, I might feel more comfortable getting serious with him. That means multiple child support payments and awkward little-kid birthday parties that, as his girlfriend, I’d have to attend even with his exes there. Sigh.. I just don’t know. I don’t know if he seems sweet and cuddly enough! I can see him rubbing his head telling me he’s just tired and then I’d feel hesitant to bother him!

SUGGESTIONS

I: Jason Lee needs to come into his own with a lead in a GOOD movie that really shows people what he can do. I think he should back away from My Name is Earl for a while because it’s becoming all people know of him. Also, he should practice safe sex.

L: LOL—yes to safe sex! It’s how you wind up naming kids Pilot Inspektor. I would like to see him in more Almost Famous-type where he’s a secondary character but not being funny. I want him to surprise me!

FINAL GRADE: 14/25 C+

Jason Lee doing his J.Mraz impression.