Ow,Merry Christmas Everyone..the day had finally arrived..to be frank, I’m not excited to celebrate Christmas this year. Why? Because I’m feeling that something is missing and it is not okay to celebrate Christmas if you are not happy right? I’m aware that this gloominess and sadness were due to me not having my family and friends surrounding me at this particular time but deep down in my heart this uneasiness feeling is because I knew that I wasn’t able to fulfill my duty as a Catholic for the past months…(okay, years….) and that gives me a big reason not to celebrate Christmas this years..

Let me get this straight. I didn’t know whether there’s such thing as if u failed to be a good person, then you are not allow to celebrate Christmas. But me finding excuses not to go to church really annoyed me and for this reason I won’t be celebrating Christmas this year. I failed to go to every single masses on Sunday here and I failed to go to both Christmas Eve and Christmas masses and hey what’s left to celebrate right? When I was little, I recall Christmas as the time where the whole family members will gather together and we(the kids) will unwrap our presents and we will be laughing and eating the whole night and that’s it. Well, what are you expecting? Didn’t we all thought Christmas was the ‘presents day‘? And as I grew older, I discovered the real meaning why we celebrate Christmas. I learned how important 25 Dec is. And truth be told, for the past years I celebrate Christmas because I really appreciate it and because I’m aware about the real reason for the celebration(this is when I used to attend masses and pray a lot).

Sadly enough, I started to skipped church and I started not to pray and blame God if I encountered any difficulties. And I’m not afraid to admit that in recent years, the celebration is merely just for fun. Just to hang out with friends, karaoke, eat till i drop, and get drunk because I was out of my path(I am still now but at least I’m aware of it right). Remember my post about me not wanting to study at Newcastle right? And my friends told me that Things-Happened-For-A-Reason. And I think I know what the reason is. Me not studying with my friends at India or not near to my family(hey, at least if I study in India I will still be able to go back to KK during Christmas time right?) will then makes me realize that all this while I’m missing something really important in my life. God!!

I knew about this because I have no one to celebrate Christmas with here and since the flight ticket to Malaysia is damn expensive, I will have to celebrate Christmas alone. And by being alone, I get to think about all this stuffs and I finally able to understand the connection between one event to another. And ow, will I be right back on track?? I will, but it will takes time(and it’s a damn long one). Plus, I need my determination and patience to guide me. Thank God..

Here’s my story of how I beat a drug paraphernalia misdemeanor charge…

April 2008:

I was on my way from Phoenix, AZ to visit my good buddy from college in San Diego, CA.  He also had a big bag of “goodies” for me and I could not wait to sample some of  So Cal’s finest.  Why drive all this way for a bag you ask?  Well, I just moved to AZ and didn’t have a hook up and it gave me a chance to hang out with a friend.  My drive is going well, I’m puffing and passing to myself with a pipe I brought (I usually have it rolled, but I was in a hurry).  Then…”oh shit!”  I see a sign that says must stop at border crossing check point.  Border crossing check point for state to state travel!?  AZ is still in the f-ing USA the last time I checked.  Anyway, I kinda freak out (given my current state)  and stashed my bowl.  I get to the front of the line and they let me through no problem and I am relieved.  I continue my journey to CA and guess what?  Another f-ing border crossing check point.  I have the same sick feeling and then they let me drive through.  Guess I wasn’t what they were looking for.  FYI…there was a total of three border crossing check points going in to CA.

So, I get to San Diego and get to my buddies place.  I tell him what happened and he is also surprised by a border crossing check point.  Anyway, I get on the internet and google ‘AZ-CA border crossing’ and an article from the Phoenix New Times comes up about a group of middle aged women hippies that tried to bring a bag back from San Diego and were busted on their way back when they got to the check point in Yuma, AZ.  I was pissed and said well I can’t bring any goodies back, and I’ll have to abandon my lovely pipe.  We go on with our weekend and chill out in San Diego.  On Saturday I decide that I will soak my pipe and clean it out so I can take it will me.  I figured a clean pipe is not illegal.  Sunday rolls around and I ready to leave.  Here’s where the fun part of the trip begins.

So now I am on my way back to AZ and I am pretty confident that I will be fine at a check point.  My bowl was clean and stashed in the trunk in a shoe with nothing else on me.  I get to a check point and see that there is a closed sign posted.  Whew!  At that point I am thinking I am in the clear and am pissed I didn’t grab that bag.  And then I hit the AZ border, and sure enough there is another check point in the Yuma area.  I slow my car down as a officer and her drug dog stroll past my car.  They let me drive up to the front and I think I am all good.  The officer asks if I have ID, I say “yea” and he takes it from me and says “move your car over there under the tent.”  So now I’m like ‘f*ck!’  What could that dog have sniffed?  Then female officer gets up to my window and says that her dog smelled something and that gives her cause to search the car.  I cooperate and let them search figuring there was nothing they could find.  They do a search and the dog can not find anything.  I am smirking the whole time because I figure if they find the pipe they will let me go and maybe take it away.  So, the female officer talks to me again and says “my dog did not find anything but we are sure you have something.”  Then she threatens to tear my car apart if I don’t give her something.  After she mentioned that I gave in, because I knew that they could basically destroy my car searching for drugs and it was totally legal for them to leave it that way too.  I told the officer I had a pipe in a shoe in the trunk.  She grabs the pipe gives it to another officer and they still proceed to go through my shit even after I told them I have nothing.  Anyway those “keen” officers find nothing.  I still find the whole thing humorous because they are wasting my time and their time for a clean pipe.  So, the female officer takes me to the trailer and explains she is giving me a ticket.  I ask her questions, because I have not had an offense like this ever.  The ticket is like $200 or something like that.  I am pissed that they wasted my time, took my clean pipe, and gave me a drug paraphernalia ticket.  So I leave the trailer and get in my car that has all the doors and trunk wide open with everything turned over.  Thanks border patrol!  I bet the tax payers of AZ will sleep easier knowing that you are protecting the state solidly.  I call my girlfriend and anyone who will care and tell them what happened.  No one can believe it.  I am bummed because I have to pay for this ticket and show up to the court house in Welton, AZ. to plead.  Welton  is like 4 hours from where I live.   I decide to look for a lawyer in Phoenix to take care of it.  I am thinking it will cost me a $200-$300 to get this taken care of.  Boy was I wrong!  These crooks posing as defense attorneys wanted upwards to $3500 down to $2000 to take my case.  Unbelievable!  I wised up and called a law office in the Yuma, AZ area and found a jack ass of a lawyer for $1500.  It was expensive, but at least it would be taken care of.

June 2008:

My lawyer calls and asks me if I have been contacted by the court.  I tell him no and he said they have no record of my charge.  He says eventually it will get through, but it is taking a long time to get to the court house.  He tells me to check back with him in two weeks.  I call back again and he tells me that there is still no record and I may be the luckiest man he knows.  He thinks the ticket is lost, but tells me there is a possibility it may pop up down the road.  He agrees to reimburse me $1200 and says there is a year statute of limitation on misdemeanors.  So by April 2009 I will be in the clear.  If the court should contact me he said he will take the case.  So, I paid ended up paying him $300 for peace of mind I guess.

May 2009:

Not a damn thing ever came!  I check the AZ Supreme Court website and there was nothing serious attached to my name except some camera speed ticket.  So I got over on the system!  It cost me $300, my favorite pipe and some sleep, but not having a drug paraphernalia charge on my record  is most important thing.  F-U Border Patrol!  Next time do your job and stop real criminals.  I can’t believe my taxes go to their salary.

June 2009:

Moral of the story…stay clean when going from AZ to CA.  Bring a J, but make sure it is completely out before the check points.  On the way in to AZ they are looking for illegals and the way back from CA to AZ they are looking for drugs.  Also, the border patrol may waste your time!

Here is “The Really Mobile Project” interview with 4 of the 6 teen panelists from the youth insights session that I put together for Heroes of the Mobile Screen Conference.

I am delighted that the session was so well received and that it met my objectives of providing an insightful and entertaining experience for the industry group and a relevant and engaging learning experience for the young people. I will publish my key insights over the next few days.

First, i write about her…last Sunday, I asked her ìf she want to be my girlfriend…and she said… “no”! I feel nothing then…but now, i’m very said. I decided to forget her, However i realize that i can’t do it….i think of her every time….although she ignored me…..we haven’t contacted to each other since last sunday..
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I’m so busy this week, we’ll have an examination from this thursday..and one of the first subjects we have to complete is Biology….i’m not good at this subject…so nervous..=.=”"
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My parents were in conflict with each other…. That was so bad… Now i hate my father very much! Not only useless he is , he is also very bad…..my mother cried….I hope that won’t be happen…again…

My little beauty princess Sherrimae

I didn’t really plan to do it but as I was leaving for our Orphanage Decorating Party, I grabbed my bag of fancy jewelry and my little toy tiara which I had bought a couple months ago for Halloween. I had this spark of an idea – to turn the little orphan girls I was about to visit into beauty queens and take photos of them next to the Christmas Tree.

When I got to the Shepherd of the Hills Orphanage in Project 4, the targets of my kikay plot did not make it too difficult for me; they allowed themselves to be turned into Barbie Dolls although they did seem awfully shy and not used to THAT kind of attention. But in the time we had together, I reminded them how special they were.  I said over and over again that they were SO amazingly beautiful and had the prettiest smiles and the sweetest eyes…

…and I wasn’t lying either.

My darling beauty queen-ette Rodalyn who will soon be adopted by an Aussie couple

You see, I truly believe that there is a princess in every little girl and a queen in every woman but many of us lose our royalty because of poverty, lack of education and maltreatment. Just the other day, I was walking through a toy store looking for Christmas gifts when I heard a Dad (who was struggling with his crying baby son) yell at his 10 year old daughter saying, “P-ng-mo! Kunin mo ‘to!”

I wish I could translate that into English for those who don’t understand Pilipino but let me just tell you that he used the most vulgar swear words while ordering his daughter to take the baby. I wanted so badly to stuff my foot into that man’s face but I have to admit that my WWF days are over and when I sneaked a look at the little girl she did not seem scared and was even rolling her eyes at him! I decided not to intervene; she looked like the type who would one day give him a few karate chops of her own.

Me with my sweet angel Maridel and my lovely friend Frances

But in all seriousness, words like that  rob our little girls of whatever beauty they have inside of them. I remember fondly referring to my children as ‘the brats’ or ‘pangit’ until one day, a good friend suggested that I stop using negative words on my kids, even in jest. I took her up on the advice and started saying ‘my darlings’ every time I spoke to them. And whaddaya know?!! They sort of stopped being brats and starting being… well… my darlings. Words are INDEED powerful ha?

So, now that I had these little orphan girls in my temporary possession I knew that I had the chance to undo some bad stuff and perhaps build some confidence. And so I crowned them with lovely words and showered them with my complete attention and prayed to my Father in heaven above that they would ALWAYS remember that HE MADE THEM BEAUTIFUL!!!

My sweetheart Allyson

Finally, I could tell u that i love you, the secret that i didn’t dare to tell….But i wish i hadn’t tell u about it….u made me sad…very sad….why u had accepted but after that u denied it..i really don’t understand…However things are, I still try to dissimulate…although it seems i can’t try anymore…i don’t have to let u know about my mind… u shoudn’t know about it…..:(.. (But i still love u…u are in my heart…forever, believe in my love!)

My work is all in a stir and a jumble now…..I’ve

too much things to do…maybe tonight i won’t sleep…

so tired…..i need a place for my head….@>@

Just started my blog….I didn’t use to use blog… However, i’ll try

Just Want To Share Something I’ve Read From Men’s Health Magazine(I swear,this isn’t my mag…I just happened to read it somewhere…)

SING A SONG FOR YOUR BOWELS – If you’re in the 33% of men who will suffer from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) at some point, pick up a microphone. Stockholm University scientists have found singing once a week halts the cramping and pain associated with IBS. It releases feel-good hormone oxytocin, which in turn helps relax the body and prevent spasms and diarrhoea associated with the condition. Just don’t sing MIKA, it’ll make the pain worse.

(Okay, the last part was funny but now that study has proved it, people can’t stop me from singing anymore. Well, that pretty much explains why I don’t face any problem when I’m doing my business in the toilet. I mean,I don’t eat vege right, so you might be expecting me having a hard time in the toilet..but I don’t…and now I know why)

TALKING IS ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO LIVE LONGER, ACCORDING TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN SCHOOL OF PUBLIC HEALTH. MEN WHO BOTTLED UP FRUSTRATION DOUBLED THEIR RISK OF DEATH FROM ALL CAUSES BECAUSE OF THE ADDED STRESS HORMONES IN THEIR BODY.

(Wow, I’m gonna live longer than you guys who is so lazy to speak up or talk..I talk non-stop even before I knew about this. And now that I’m aware of the benefit, please don’t be afraid of talking to me. I promise I give you 5 minutes to talk for every hour of my speech..)

Ow, I think I should subscribe the mag now. I wanna know what other benefits will I got from all of my behaviours. Sadly enough, they didn’t mention anything good about non stop eating *damn it*

Geumgok

I stood outside a dreary, two storied, gray, stone-clad building in Geumgok.  The windows of the upper floor were plastered with smiling and eager western students. A welcome of sorts; it was the only one I would receive. There was no sign of the owners or the teacher I was replacing.

I had arrived in Busan for my second teaching contract in South Korea and as I entered the building and climbed the dusty, cobweb-adorned stairwell the doubts that had arisen the previous year began to surface again.

The door on the second floor landing was unlocked so I gingerly peered into the darkened corridor. I switched on the light and was surprised to find brightly painted walls embellished with representations of various western countries. New Zealand was not included but my gloom had faded a little.

Any optimism I may have drawn from the bright and welcoming corridor was quickly dispelled after I opened the doors to the rooms that I guessed were my living quarters. They were nothing short of uninhabitable. So that night I bunked down on the floor of a classroom and was up bright and early the next morning, ready to commence the colossal task of getting the place into adequate living and working shape.

I decided to try out the shower but it failed to produce even a drop of water. Having no idea about who to call or what I would say if I did, I had no choice but to attempt to fix it myself. So I began by following the cheap plastic water-hose from the boiler as it snaked its way through the toilet window; up the outside wall and onto the roof.

On making my way to the roof I discovered a great pile of rubbish that included everything that had been discarded from the school over the past years. There were broken desks, chairs, buckets and books. There were discarded lamps, fans, heaters and blankets. Represented in that heap was every category of junk imaginable.

After climbing over the pile I eventually found the entry point of the hose and began clearing away the trash. There, precariously balanced amidst the mess, covered by a soaking wet blanket was the electric water pump that supplied the shower. I then followed the power cord through the rest of the pile.

It was perhaps ten meters long and was taped together at two or three meter intervals. One of the joints had been separated by the weight of rainwater on the assorted junk, so I re-taped it and after covering as much of the electrical paraphernalia as I could, I traced its path into a makeshift roof-top lean-to where the cord was taped into a jerry-rigged light fitting.

Then I left, praying that I would be spared death by electrocution while taking a shower on some lonely and miserable Geumgok morning.

And so my weekend continued as I re-hung ill-fitting doors, repaired broken furniture, scrubbed away years of grime and tried to make sense of what I had gotten myself into while at the same time wondering what I was going to teach my students and where the school owner had gotten to.

Finally, twenty minutes before the first class was due to start on Monday afternoon the owner arrived with my first busload of students. There were no introductions; no discussion about the teaching program or evaluation of the students. She offered a quick hello, a perfunctory apology and an invitation to go teach. "What do you want me to teach them?" I asked. She shrugged and gave every indication that she had no idea. "Just do your best." she replied. So began my second contract.

What I lacked in my first year of teaching English in Korea I still sorely lacked in my second. Again there was no curriculum, program or text to follow. There was no guidance from the owner and whereas in my first year there was a Korean teacher to share classes with, at this school I was alone.

But now, as a "veteran" teacher I was expected to be an expert.  So acting "experienced" but feeling like a fraud, I struggled my way through six months of classes at kindergartens, English academies, private homes and public schools. These assignments were arranged by the owner of the Geumgok academy, possible under the mistaken belief that I liked to keep really busy but more likely because they expected to skim a sizeable take off my salary.

Whichever it was it didn’t matter much to me. I had become disheartened by the lack of support and the limited opportunity, help or resources I needed to provide a decent English learning experience for my students. So, after making it up as I went along and "doing my best" for six months, I left. It was the least I could do to save myself from a complete loss of confidence and self belief.

My darkest hour came when the students, without any apparent external motivation and led by one particularly nasty middle school boy, began piling the furniture in the middle of the classroom. I asked the owner to intervene and stop the stupidity. As usual she just shrugged, and looking lost asked, "What can I do?"

I decided to take action and returning to the classroom. I locked the door and sat in front of it; barring the way in and out. I waited as the students continued piling everything onto the growing mound in the middle of the room. The shabby nature of most of the classroom fixtures and fittings meant it resembled the pile of trash on the roof and I momentarily imagined it all going up in smoke in one magnificent screaming bonfire.

But I waited and once the students’ energy dissipated they began looking uneasily at the pile, at me, at the door and at the clock. When the end-of-class bell sounded they grabbed their bags and headed toward me and the door. I didn’t move. They hovered. They looked beseechingly out of the partly glassed wall into the corridor seeking rescue. And still the owner stood hopelessly by, offering no salvation to me or the students.

"Take down that pile and you can go home" I said in a quiet tone. They were in a bind and I had all the time in the world. They refused of course and the stand-off continued. Parents arrived. The owner’s husband arrived. The bus driver arrived and tried to force his way through the door. I drove him out with a mighty crunching shove into the opposite wall. Someone screamed. The owner’s parents arrived; the owner continued to look on pathetically; the students kept their resolve, and still the pile remained in the middle of the room. And I maintained my position in front of the door.

I didn’t move, I didn’t say a word and the students maintained their defiance for almost two hours more. It was now well past eleven o’clock; a tremendous effort. If I was so disposed I would have congratulated them. But as they filed out of the now restored classroom I simply said "Thank You". The entire scene including participants had been bestowed with an absolute silence and calm. Not a single word was said in the days that followed, but it was clearly time for me to leave.

But I wasn’t going to be given leave without one final fortuitous gesture. My living quarters which comprised a bedroom, small kitchen, dining area and the public bathroom with the dreaded shower attachments, looked out onto a community garden (pat). The building being on a lower part of the hillside meant that the pat was just below my eye level while standing, but I was still able to watch as the locals tended their small lots and as a variety of vegetables grew abundantly throughout the hot and moist Korean summer.

It was an idyllic scene and one that was reproduced everywhere in Korea on any patch of bare ground. Every spring, vegetable pat appeared on hillsides, roadsides and undeveloped lots. Surprisingly these gardens were safe from pilfering, so were established widely and freely; without fear that the crops would be stolen before they were harvested.

One morning I was enjoying a bowl of cereal and a mug of ginger and honey tea. As I did so I threw the curtains open allowing warm sunshine to flood the kitchen bringing with it an unexpected sense of contentment. So in happy anticipation I continued savoring the wonderful flavors of cereal, banana, yoghurt and honey.

Then, expecting the lush and bountiful garden scene to enhance my pleasure I turned to look out the window. Less than two meters from where I sat there appeared to be something that at first was quite indiscernible. But, as I looked closer it became clear that I was staring at the fat and exposed buttocks of someone squatting on the edge of their pat. The flowery pattern and autumn tones of the hitched-up clothing announced that the owner was a halmeoni (grandmother). The jet of steaming hot, dark liquid matter that was being forcefully ejected showed that this particular halmeoni was suffering a serious bout of diarrhoea.

The half swallowed mouthful of cereal, banana, honey and yoghurt burst forth across the kitchen table and as I began to gag I knew that my breakfast and my sojourn in Geumgok were over.

Dua puluh satu tahun aku telah tinggal di bumi ini. Setelah sang Maha Kuasa meniupkan ruh sang takdir kehidupan dalam ragaku. Selama itu pula aku telah melihat kegelapan dan cahaya yang silih berganti menemani kesepian dankebahagian. Suatu hari nanti itu semua akan kutulis dalam ingatan setiap orang, hingga setiap kisah yang telah aku

jalani akan abadi, hingga bumi tak di diami manusia lagi. Aku tak kan melupakan se berkas cahaya yang telah datang menghampiri kebahagianku, dan semua kegelapan yang hadir dalam setiap kesepianku.

Walau begitu cepat sang waktu membawaku menjauhi semua kisah masalaluku, tapi itu semua akan abadi, hingga Ia menemani ruh yang telah di takdirkan sebuah kehidupan yang bersemayam dalam raga ini, ketika Ia harus pulang ke hadapan sang Maha Pencipta untuk mempertanggungjawabkan semu kisah yang telah Ia lewati. Hingga hari itu datang kisahku akan tetap tersimpan rapi bersamanya, dan dalam ingatan setiap orang.

Aku berjalan melewati jalan berbatu untuk menjahui kegelapan yang terus mengikuti langkahku. Hingga kaki yang menopang raga yang kelelahan ini. tak sanggup lagi menahan semua beban cobaan illahi. Aku coba berhenti sejenak untuk melepas semua beban yang ku bawa, ku alihkan sejenak tatapan ku untuk menatap langit biru yang membentang indah meneduhi kesendirianku. Mencoba mengagumi keagungan indahnya ciptaan illahi yang telah lama aku abaikan. Tak terasa keindahan itu telah mengantarku berjalan pelan memasuki ruang ingatanku yang di penuhi lukisan indah masa-masa kecil ku. Lukisan- lukisan indah yang di lukis dengan tinta kasih sayang di atas kanvas putih penuh ke bahagiaan masa kecilku, begitu indah tertata rapi dalam ingatan. Masa kecil yang penuh kasih sayang telah di anugerahkan ke padaku oleh orang-orang suci kiriman illahi, yang diutus untuk melukis semua ke indahan dan kebahagian masa kecilku yang takkan terlupakan. Ibu. Ayah, Kakek dan Nenekku yang telah membuka mataku pertama kali melihat semua keindahan dan keagungan ciptaan illahi yang terbentang luas di hadapanku. Mereka telah memberi arti kata kasih sayang, kebahagiaan dan kesedihan dalam hidupku, yang akan ku ingat hingga ruh yang bersemayam dalam raga ini telah bosan dan pergi untuk keabadiannya.

Cahaya dan kegelapan silih berganti datang mengisi kisah-kisah hamba Allah di bumi ini. Hingga kini bayangan keindahan masa kecil yang penuh cahaya kebahagian, selalu datang ketika kegelapan mengisi kesepianku. Kehidupan adalah hal terrumit dan terindah yang hrus dijalani setiap hamba Allah yang telah ditiupkan ruh sang takdir kehidupan kedalam setiap raga mereka. Tapi dalam masa kecilku aku hanya melihat kebahagiaan dan keindahan di hadapanku. Sang Maha Pencipta sedang menunggu waktu yang tepat untuk menambahkan kata kesedihan, kesepian, keputusasaan dan hilangan dalam kamus kehidupanku. Nanti kata-kata itu akan menumpuk dalam kamus kehidupanku, sebagai pembelajaran untuk menemukan arti kehidupn sebagai kata terakhir yang akan mengisi kamus kehidupanku. Tapi sampai waktu ini hidupku di penuhi kebahagiaan dan kasih sayang dari orang-orang di sekitarku.

Long, long ago, in a far away place
Lived a big scary monster named Applecrumb Face
With eyes like fireballs, hands made of steel
Teeth made of diamonds and an old steering wheel

One night in the forest of this far away place
A fox went to find the famed Applecrumb Face
As light became dark and the moon faded black
Deep in the forest now, fox couldn’t turn back

By the river he walked when he heard something snap
“Come out” yelled the fox, “I got face punch on tap”
And out of the shadows came a dark figure, small
It was a young boy, Tommy, only four foot three tall

Young Tommy said “hey, nice to see you again Fox”
“You gave me a fright!” Fox said “Bless your small cotton socks!”
“Are you here to find the monster, so grim?” said the boy
“I am” said the fox “I’m not scared”, sounding coy

So off went the pair along the dark river’s edge
Two strong, were they now, on this fearsome pledge
When all of a sudden, a shadow emerged
The two halted fast as their blood pressure surged

“Awright?” came a call, “Wot you geezas up to?”
It was the Magpie named Russel, the duo both knew
“One guess” said the fox “why we came to this place”
“I know” said the Magpie “You seek Applecrumb Face”

“Do you know where to find him” said Tommy to the bird
“I do” said the magpie “haven’t been, but I’ve heard”
“Deep in this forest, down by the black pond”
“past the old hollow oak and the rocks just beyond”

“Would you join us?” young Tommy said, “To find such a beast?”
“Of course!” said the magpie, “there’s three of us at least”
“But eyes made of fireballs” he warned with a grin
“And teeth made from diamonds, sure trouble we’re in”

The trio set off at a quick but sure pace
To find the feared creature named Applecrumb Face
In time the stream ended in a pond black as coal
A deep shiver drifted through three a brave soul

Tall and imposing, tangled and broke
Stood the massive ancient form of the old hollow oak
The fox motioned forward, no one would respond
As they stared, frightened stiff, at the rocks just beyond

“Can I help you?” said a voice just up where they gazed
The three trembled with fear, each their eyes over, glazed
“A long journey” the voice said, “That you three have made”
“I won’t hurt you” once more spoke “please, don’t be afraid”

And out of the darkness, a small figure made forth
A cold wind chilled the sweat on their face from the north
His eyes shone like diamonds, so brightly, and kind
A creature so cute, more than any you’d find

“We seek the famed monster” said the magpie to him
“Ah the monster” said the creature “I hear he is grim”
“With eyes like fireballs” said Tommy, “Hands made of steel”
“Teeth made of diamonds, and an old steering wheel”

“A wheel?” said the stranger, tilting his head
“That’s what Gran told me” said Tom, “one story time in bed”
“Well” said the stranger, “I’m not sure of that”
“But I can tell you one thing, he wears a red hat”

“A hat?” returned Fox, “I’ve not heard of this tale?”
The stranger stepped forward, the moonlight shone pale
Through the branches and leaves came soft beams of light
A red hat on his brow, he came into full sight

“So long has it been since I’ve talked to someone”
“No one will come near since these bad tales begun”
“For so many years I yearned company”
“And today I am happy, for I met you brave three”

“You know of the monster?” Young Tom firmly said
“On his home” said the stranger “You currently tread”
“And how do you know that we stand on his place?”
“Because” said the creature, “I’m Applecrumb Face”.

The friends stood aghast as the three words sunk in
“But the legend?” Said fox “and the tales within?”
The stranger laughed hard, so much he did tear
It’s funny how people believe everything they hear

Perbedaan sejatinya merupakan fitrah manusia dalam kehidupan. Perbedaan sudah menjadi ketetapan Allah swt. Walaupun Hawa diciptakan dari tulang rusuk Adam, tetapi keduanya berbeda. Bahkan bayi kembar siam pun pasti memiliki perbedaan. Namun realita kehidupan menunjukkan bahwa kebanyakan orang justru menghindari perbedaan. Sebagai makhluk sosial, manusia merasa lebih nyaman dengan kesamaan, sehingga muncul banyak kelompok dan perkumpulan yang pada dasarnya bertujuan untuk mengakomodasi ketakutan manusia akan perbedaan.

Ya, kita kadang takut untuk berbeda, sehingga kita terjebak dalam posisi kita sebagai makhluk sosial, dan melupakan posisi kita sebagai individu yang unik, yang berbeda satu sama lain, yang memiliki DNA khusus, berbeda dengan yang lain. Mengapa? Karena dalam kesamaan, kita merasa aman, nyaman dan terlindungi oleh kesamaan itu. Kesamaan berarti kita tidak sendirian, kesamaan berarti kita memiliki teman atau kelompok yang berbagi, kesamaan berarti kita memiliki tempat berlindung. Lain halnya dengan berbeda, berbeda berarti kita melepaskan diri dari kelompok, berbeda berarti kita meng-expose diri kita, berbeda berarti kita sendirian.

Perbedaan tidak semestinya disikapi secara ekstrim dan dijauhi, tapi harus dilihat dan direspons secara lebih arif. Kesamaan dan perbedaan merupakan dua sisi mata uang yang tidak bisa terpisahkan dari manusia. Manusia diciptakan sebagai makhluk individu yang memiliki kemampuan dan kebutuhan sosial, maka dari itu harus memiliki kesamaan dan perbedaan untuk bisa berfungsi secara optimal.

Bahkan bintang-bintang pun indah karena perbedaan sinarnya.

With Christmas coming we know that New Years isn’t far behind and that means New Years Resolutions.   I try to make resolutions each year but they’re usually so lame or unreachable that I fail by 12:01am on January 1st.  I decided this year I would not make resolutions I can’t keep but try to set goals that I can aim for instead.

My New Years Goals:

1. Make more time for Don.  We have a great relationship and I love my husband with all my heart but I do think we could do better on the 1 on 1 time.  I know there’s only 2 of us 2 legged creatures in the house so it’s usually 1 on 1 but there are so many daily distractions that WE get forgotten about.  I will try to be more attentive and shut off the computer each day or evening to give Don my full attention
2. Update my seven, YES THAT’S 7, blogs more regularly.  I love writing and there are you can’t shut me up I just get distracted too easily and I’m the master procrastinator.  Maybe they have a self help group for that.
3. I will strive to be more organized which will hopefully help me to reach my goal above easier.  I’m a very disorganized person but this is ironic, I love to organize things.  I make flowcharts and spreadsheets for organization, I just don’t keep up with them.  That goes along with my problem above, I procrastinate too much.
4. I will try to make a new dish for dinner at least once a month.  Maybe experiment some and use things we’ve learned in cooking class.  I love trying new things and we’ve found some keepers in my experimenting I just forget about it when the time comes to go grocery shopping.
5. I will set time aside each day for Quiet Time with God.  I talk to God constantly but I it’s usually on the run or when I think about it.  I need to make a conscious effort to put Him first and consult with Him when making decisions.  Have more of a WWJD attitude with things rather than winging it and turning to Him when I mess up.

I will work hard to make sure I can achieve the goals listed above.  I know I’m only human and being lax doesn’t mean I should stop trying.  If I find my desk area is cluttered doesn’t mean I’ve failed with #3 it just means I need to clean it up and try again.  Nothing wrong with that.  Nothing to beat myself up over and kick myself in the butt for.

So, what are your New Years Goals for 2010?  I’d love to hear them.