Bitte schlagen Sie mich. Schlagen Sie, treten und beißen Sie mich. Sie brauchen das. Und ich liebe es. Nur dann werde ich bleiben und wissen, dass ich bin. Was ich bin. Ich bin das, was Du von mir verlangst zu sein.

Deine Geliebte, Deine Schwester, Deine Mutter, Deine Freundin, Deine Hure.

Deine Hure sein.

Schlag mich. Und gib ihr dann das, was ich will, was ich brauche, und wonach ich lechze.

Umarme mich erst dann, wenn Du mir das gegeben hast, was Du brauchst. Für Dich selbst, und zum Leben. Ich werde Dich dafür lieben. Schlage mich, denn ich bin Dein Spiegel, Dein Echo. Nur anders.

Prostituiere mich. Rette mich.

Ich warte auf den Moment, in dem er der ist, den ich will. Und auch nicht. Es geht mir besser. Ich werde bleiben.

Schlagen Sie mich, es ist besser als das ständige gefickt werden. Vom Leben, von Anderen und von sich selbst. Aber tu es. Für Dich. Ich werde so lange bleiben und lieben wie ich kann. Lass mich diese verschissene Leere füllen. Nur kurz. Und nur halb. Er kann es nicht. Niemals ganz. Und sie wird nicht aufhören leer zu sein. Und wenn ich sterben sollte, dann lass mich bitte in Deinem Arm sterben. Einfach so. Es hat nichts zu bedeuten. Keine Angst. Es ist unverbindlich und geht ganz schnell. Es wäre nur schön.

Für Dich. Egal.

Er sucht sich eine neue Nutte. Sie ist zu betrunken.

Ich will es nicht. Und doch. Ich werde gehen. Also schlag mich, fick mich! Noch ein letztes mal, Baby.

Bevor ich gehe. Ohne zu wissen, was ich bin. Für mich, für ihn und für die Welt. Unbezahlt und abgenutzt.

Du bist der Leidende. Malträtiert. Geschlagen. Aber Gott. Ein Versager.

Du wurdest ausgekotzt in die Welt. Wie ich und wie jeder Andere. Andere schaffen es, darüber hinweg zu sehen. Ich sehe es. Und er. Sieht es nicht.

Um nicht mit sich selbst alleine sein zu müssen. Weil er armselig ist, weil er traurig ist, weil er weint und lacht und auch nicht. Weil er ein kleiner Junge ist. Ein weinerliches Baby…ein geschlagener Köter. Weil er ein Mensch und ein Wixer ist.

__________________________________________________________

Being your whore.

Please smack me. Smack me, kick me and bite me. You need it. And i love it. It´s the only way to make me stay, to let me know I am. What I am. I am what you ask me to be. Your lover, your sister, your mother, your friend, your whore.

Being your whore.

Smack me. And then give her what I want, what I need, what I crave for. Only hug me when you gave me what you need. For yourself, and to live. I´m gonna love you for this. Smack me, cause I´m your mirror, your echo. Just different. Prostitute me. Save me.

I´m waiting for the moment he´ll be the one I want. And not be the one. I´m better now. I´m gonna stay.

Smack me, it´s better than being constantly fucked. By life, by others and by oneself. But do it. Do it for yourself. I´m gonna stay and love as long as I can. Let me feel this shitty emptiness. Only for a short while. And only sort of. He can´t. Never to the fullest. And it won´t stop feeling empty. And if I shall die, please let me die in your arms. Just like that. No big deal. No worries. No strings attached, and it will go fast. It would just be nice.

For you. Nevermind.

He´s looking for a new whore. She is too drunk.

I don´t want it. But then again, I do. I´m gonna go. So, smack me, fuck me! Just one last time, baby. Before I go. Not knowing what I am. For me, for you, and for the world. Unpaid and battered.

You are the one who suffers. Maltreated. Smacked. But god. A loser. You´ve been puked out by the world. Like me, and like the others. Others manage to ignore it. I can see it. And him. He doesn´t.

To not have to be alone with oneself. Because he´s pathetic, because he´s sad, because he cries and laughs and then again he doesn´t. Because he´s a little boy. A crying baby… a beaten dog. Because he´s a human being and a wanker.

~ S.

“Babies are soo cute, I want one!“

The Breeder Reality Oath (via)

I understand that when I breed I accept the following conditions. I agree that these conditions are not “unfair,” that they may, in fact be the result of my own deficiencies as a parent, even if I am not aware of those deficiencies, and that I have no right to complain about them. I further agree that I will not expect the taxpayers to fund the consequences of these events:

1) In the modern developed world, breeding is a choice I make to fulfill my needs. I will not pretend that it “just happened” or that I am a victim of the consequences of my own decision to breed.

2) I understand that a child is a minimum $200,000 commitment. I have done the math and agree that I have an average of $11,000 a year after taxes for each child in excess of what I need for myself. I further understand that colleges are only getting more expensive, and that I probably need an additional $2000 a year after taxes for each child to invest towards my child’s education if I expect them to go to any college at all. Even though I have additional expenses, I will not be entitled to extra pay, or to preference for jobs, time off and promotions and I will not be exempt from rising costs of resources, no matter how much I need those resources. If the price of a barrel of oil goes up, I can expect my driving costs to go up.

3) I understand that a child is a minimum 18 year commitment. I understand that sweet little babies turn into active, independent toddlers, and mouthy, hostile teenagers. I have done the math and I know how old I will be when my last child graduates from college, and what the probabilities are that I will be disabled or unemployable by then.

4) I may have a child who is severely physically, mentally or emotionally disabled, even if I do everything “right.” I know that I will probably spend the rest of my life catering to that child’s needs at the expense of my marriage, my hopes and my expectations for my own life. I will accept that my child’s physical, mental and behavior problems are entirely my responsibility, and most likely are also my fault, even if I don’t recognize the root of that fault. Even if my child’s problems are caused by a genetic factor, I will still acknowledge that my child suffers because I put my own needs and wants ahead of theirs and so I gambled with their potential suffering and lost.

5) My child will not be special, unique or in any other way deserving of extra consideration and resources above those available to everyone else. It is extremely likely that my child will be quite average and will never do anything remarkable. I understand that in a world of six and a half billion people, another human being is not a gift to everyone else – it is just another burden.

6) I will probably have a child whose values or lifestyle diverge from what I would prefer. If my minor child decides to behave in a way that violate my values or standards I will, nonetheless, have the responsibility to deal with the consequences of that behavior. I understand that my adult children may use drugs, end up in prison, join a cult, abandon their religion, abuse their own children, cut off contact with me, or otherwise disappoint me and anger me.

7) I accept that once I breed, whether and how I have grandchildren is not under my control. If my minor child decides to have a child, I will have no say in that decision, but I will have financial responsibility for my grandchild, perhaps for the rest of its life. I know that my child may decide to abandon or abuse his or her children, and that I get no say in their parenting or in the outcome if the authorities become involved. I know that I may have to choose between raising my grandchildren and never seeing them again if my child proves to be an unfit parent. I am aware that my children have the absolute right to prevent me from seeing my grandchildren.

I further understand that my children have the right to decline to breed at all.

She violates your boundaries. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there.

Whatever you say is met with smirks and amused sounding or exaggerated exclamations (“Uh hunh!” “You don’t say!” “Really!”). She’ll then make it clear that she didn’t listen to a word you said.
If she visits you or you visit her, you are required to spend all your time with her. Entertaining herself is unthinkable. She has always pouted, manipulated or raged if you tried to do anything without her, didn’t want to entertain her, refused to wait on her, stymied her plans for a drama or otherwise deprived her of attention.

It’s your [narcistic] mother.

Do you know her, too?

Before you read the following text, think of how your mother may have acted similarly. Think of friends and their mothers and how common this mother is and what effect it has on our society or, how it portrays the general mental health of our society.

Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

She’ll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you’ve also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you. She has let you know that you’re no good without saying a word. She’ll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably. It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or they way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you’re always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why.

Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her.

Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness (“I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)

You have never known what it is like to have privacy in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings, particularly painful ones and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently. All of this is done without seeming embarrassment or thought.

Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you’re punished for your insistence (“Since you’re old enough to date, I think you’re old enough to pay for your own clothes!”) If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your “independence.”

If you complain about mistreatment by someone else, she will take that person’s side even if she doesn’t know them at all. She doesn’t care about those people or the justice of your complaints. She just wants to let you know that you’re never right.

She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): “You were always difficult” “You can be very difficult to love” “You never seemed to be able to finish anything” “You were very hard to live with” “You’re always causing trouble” “No one could put up with the things you do.” She will deliver slams in a sidelong way – for example she’ll complain about how “no one” loves her,

The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law. They’ll attempt to forbid their daughters to wear makeup, to groom themselves in an age-appropriate way or to date. They will criticize the appearance of their daughters and daughters-in-law. This envy extends to relationships. Narcissistic mothers infamously attempt to damage their children’s marriages and interfere in the upbringing of their grandchildren.

She has to be the center of attention all the time. This need is a defining trait of narcissists and particularly of narcissistic mothers for whom their children exist to be sources of attention and adoration. Narcissistic mothers love to be waited on.

Older narcissistic mothers often use the natural limitations of aging to manipulate dramas, often by neglecting their health or by doing things they know will make them ill. This gives them the opportunity to cash in on the investment they made when they trained you to wait on them as a child. Then they call you (or better still, get the neighbor or the nursing home administrator to call you) demanding your immediate attendance. You are to rush to her side, pat her hand, weep over her pain and listen sympathetically to her unending complaints about how hard and awful it is. (“Never get old!”) It’s almost never the case that you can actually do anything useful, and the causes of her disability may have been completely avoidable, but you’ve been put in an extremely difficult position. If you don’t provide the audience and attention she’s manipulating to get, you look extremely bad to everyone else and may even have legal culpability. (Narcissistic behaviors commonly accompany Alzheimer’s disease, so this behavior may also occur in perfectly normal mothers as they age.)

A peculiar form of this emotional vampirism combines attention-seeking behavior with a demand that the audience suffer. Since narcissistic mothers often play the martyr this may take the form of wrenching, self-pitying dramas which she carefully produces, and in which she is the star performer. She sobs and wails that no one loves her and everyone is so selfish, and she doesn’t want to live, she wants to die! She wants to die! She will not seem to care how much the manipulation of their emotions and the self-pity repels other people. One weird behavior that is very common to narcissists: her dramas may also center around the tragedies of other people, often relating how much she suffered by association as she cries over the horrible murder of someone she wouldn’t recognize if they had passed her on the street.

She’s selfish and willful. If you tell her she cannot bring her friends to your party she will show up with them anyway, and she will have told them that they were invited so that you either have to give in, or be the bad guy to these poor dupes on your doorstep. If you tell her she can’t come over to your house tonight she’ll call your spouse and try get him or her to agree that she can, and to not say anything to you about it because it’s a “surprise.” She has to show you that you can’t tell her “no.”

She’ll make it clear that it pains her to give you anything. She may buy you a gift and get the identical item for herself, or take you shopping for a gift and get herself something nice at the same time to make herself feel better.

She’s infantile and petty. Narcissistic mothers are often simply childish. If you refuse to let her manipulate you into doing something, she will cry that you don’t love her because if you loved her you would do as she wanted.

he shed her responsibilities to you as soon as she was able, leaving you to take care of yourself as best you could. She denied you medical care, adequate clothing, necessary transportation or basic comforts that she would never have considered giving up herself. She wouldn’t buy your school pictures even if she could easily have afforded it. You had a niggardly clothing allowance or she bought you the cheapest clothing she could without embarrassing herself. As soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with “Now that you’re making money, why don’t you pay for that yourself?”

Above all, you were always her emotional caregiver which is one reason any defection from that role caused such enormous eruptions of rage. You were never allowed to be needy or have bad feelings or problems. Those experiences were only for her, and you were responsible for making it right for her. From the time you were very young she would randomly lash out at you any time she was stressed or angry with your father or felt that life was unfair to her, because it made her feel better to hurt you. This includes her children, of course. If she set up a bank account for you, she was trustee on the account with the right to withdraw money.

Sometimes the narcissist will exploit a child to absorb punishment that would have been hers from an abusive partner. The husband comes home in a drunken rage, and the mother immediately complains about the child’s bad behavior so the rage is vented on to the child. Sometimes the narcissistic mother simply uses the child to keep a sick marriage intact because the alternative is being divorced or having to go to work. The child is sexually molested but the mother never notices, or worse, calls the child a liar when she tells the mother about the molestation.

From the perspective of ability, narcissists are extremely empathetic; indeed they have a gift of telling what other people are feeling and thinking. Their skill at discerning and guiding the emotions of other people is the basis of many characteristically narcissistic interactions. Narcissists are very socially adept which is why no one ever believes their children when they complain of their mothers. They know just how to make everyone think that they’re delightful.

As a last resort she goes pathetic. When she’s confronted with unavoidable consequences for her own bad behavior, including your anger, she will melt into a soggy puddle of weepy helplessness. It’s all her fault. She can’t do anything right. She feels so bad. What she doesn’t do: own the responsibility for her bad conduct and make it right. Instead, as always, it’s all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. As so often with narcissists, it is also a manipulative behavior. If you fail to excuse her bad behavior and make her feel better, YOU are the bad person for being cold, heartless and unfeeling when your poor mother feels so awful.

Read the full text at http://www.geocities.com/zpg1957/narcissists.htm

Blogging! Blogging a Blog!! Woah!!! Well this is the first post and i’ve made myself finally sign up for a WordPress (WP) account. The only thing that i am regretting right now is that i would have liked it if i knew about the (Awesome) option that WP gives you. Yes! you can totally transfer your blog from any other provider to WP. If i only knew this before i pushed the delete button. Hmppph!!! anyways thats life. Atleast the name of the blog remains the same. Yes the name is taken from KOL’s latest work. There is some depth to these words. This comes at a time when i find myself and the world and at a point where, well everything seems ‘lost’. Well i am supposed to be finishing my dissertation by now, but that seems nowhere in sight. Well here’s to hoping i manage to even finish it on time. I shall be coming to blog again once i’m done with that. ……………………….. Arghhh!!! Blogging is boring aint it?? What do you think??

“Von so vielen Seiten her wird dem Eros zugestanden unter die ältesten zu gehören.

Wie nun der älteste, so ist er uns auch der größten Güter Urheber.

Denn ich meines Teiles weiß nicht zu sagen was ein größeres Gut wäre für einen Jüngling als gleich ein wohlmeinender Liebhaber, oder dem Liebhaber ein Liebling. Denn was diejenigen in ihrem ganzen Leben leiten mus, welche schön und recht leben wollen, dieses vermag weder die Verwandtschaft ihnen so vollkommen zuzuwenden noch das Ansehn noch der Reichtum noch sonst irgend etwas als die Liebe.

Was meine ich hiermit? Die Scham vor dem schändlichen und das Bestreben nach dem schönen. Denn ohne dieses vermag weder ein Staat noch ein Einzelner große und schöne Taten zu verrichten. Ich behaupte nämlich, daß einem Manne, der liebt, wenn er dabei betroffen würde daß er etwas schändliches entweder täte, oder aus Unmännlichkeit ohne Gegenwehr von einem andern erduldete, weder von seinem Vater gesehen zu werden soviel Schmerz verursachen würde noch von seinen Freunden noch von sonst irgend jemand als von seinem Liebling.  (…) Gar aber den Liebling zu verlassen oder ihm nicht beizustehn in der Gefahr ; so feige ist wohl keiner, den da nicht Eros selbst zur Tapferkeit begeistern sollte, so daß er dem gleichkäme, der die beste Anlage dazu hat von Natur. (…) So wollen auch die Götter den Eifer und die Tüchtigkeit in der Liebe vorzüglich  ehren. Orpheus aber den Sohn des Öagros schickten sie unverrichteter Sache aus der Unterwelt zurück, indem sie nur die Erscheinung der Frau ihm zeigten um derentwillen er gekommen war, nicht aber sie selbst ihm gaben, weil er ihnen weichlich zu sein schien wie ein Spielmann, und nicht das Herz zu haben der Liebe wegen zu sterben.”

Saya kebetulan termasuk agak katrok dalam hal per-facebook -an, karena baru punya akun facebook belakangan saat yang lain sudah merajalela dan malang-melintang di dunia persilatan per-facebook-an. Pertama saya kira facebook kurang lebih hanyalah seperti friendster yang njelehi dan hampir tidak pernah saya tengok lagi . Namun setelah sign up, tengak-tengok, tolah-toleh dan aduk-aduk dalemannya, ternyata lumayan mengasyikkan juga. Sayapun langsung asyik bagai  anak kecil dapet mainan baru

Dan ada satu aplikasi favorit di facebook yang 2 minggu belakangan ini mulai saya mainkan, yaitu Mafia Wars. Pertama gabung gara-gara direkrut si Aan, temen waktu kuliah. Join pertama juga belum ngeh, nggak mudheng dengan cara permainannya, jadi saya biarin aja. Sampai suatu saat yang mboseni bin njelehi menebar ancaman Mati Gaya , tergodalah saya untuk meng-klik notifikasi Mafia Wars-nya si Aan dan terjerumus di dalamnya hingga saat ini

Cara mainnya ternyata sangaaaat mudah, pertama kita tinggal memilih nama dan karakter kita, by default kita ditawarkan nama dengan awalan Don, sebuah sebutan khas di dunia mafioso, pilih aja nama yang sangar serta memberi kesan bengis & kejam untuk menjatuhkan mental lawan. Seperti Don King Kong, Don Ryan Jombang, Don Robot Gedhek atau Don Sumanto

Ini skrinsyut karakter saya di Mafia Wars:

Dan ini adalah koleksi senjata, armor & kendaraan,

Pada game Mafia Wars yang dirilis oleh Zynga ini, kita bisa memilih karakter antara Mogul : Mafia Mata Duitan , Fearless : Mafia Tenaga Kuli dan Maniac : Mafia Tukang Pukul . Kebetulan saya pilih Mogul yang katanya pinter nyari duit, karena waktu itu saya berpijak pada filosofi, “money can buy everything”, cukup make sense saya pikir, terutama untuk konteks berkarir di dunia hitam ala mafia. Tapi setelah berjalannya waktu, ternyata karakter Maniac lebih ganas dan merajalela di pertarungan jalanan, sementara Mogul pandai dalam mengumpulkan uang hasil kejahatan namun rawan dihajar dan dirampok oleh si Maniac, dan Fearless yang paling apes, doyan beraksi karena punya tenaga kuli yang tak ada matinya, namun dengan hasil jarahan seadanya plus juga kerap jadi sasaran permak oleh si Maniac maupun mafia yang lebih kuat lainnya.

Tapi ya namanya juga pilihan, semua kembali ke selera masing-masing. Saya yang Mogul dan katanya kurang jago bertarung nyatanya sering meng-KO Maniac juga. Dan yang asyik dari bertarung (baca: Fight), selain bisa meng-KO lawan juga bisa menjarah uang dan barang-barang dari mulai pisau, senapan mesin, bodyguard, mobil sampai pesawat. Masalah nyari uang, Mogul saya akui paling jago, saya yang baru 2 mingguan main aja sekarang sudah bisa ngehasilin earning sekitar 10,8 million dollar per jamnya. Hasil dari bisnis Money Laundry Kasino, Hotel Bintang 5, Komplek Perkantoran, Apartemen, Toko Souvenir, Supermarket, Rumah Kontrakan dan Bar.

Buat yang tertarik bergabung ke Mafia ku, silakan Ketik Reg Spasi Mafia, kirim ke 081-MAFIA-000. SMS yang anda terima langsung dari hape saya! Hehe… Yang mau join ber-Mafia Wars ria  langsung aja  add Facebook saya (titoreds@yahoo.com ).

  Selamat ber-Mafia Wars ria! Dijamin tidak bakalan Mati Gaya ! 

It has been quite sometime since I updated this space.Though I don’t need to justify my actions here,I might as well tell everyone how screwed my browser is and my computer is in shambles.I wish someone would show some compassion and buy me some speakers.Headsets get irritating after a while. I may not be as verbose as the first blog that i have tagged nor do I blog as frequently as the second person.But here is who I am.

The day is 22nd January 1998.I am watching TV.I see a rather short man tearing apart which can only be called the best bowling attack ever seen.He scores a blistering 134 and wins the match.The man is of cource Sachin Tendulkar,but He is not the person I would want to talk to about.
Everyone at home is happy,I am emotionless.I might be too immature to understand the sport some would think.

Let us go all the way forward to 2007.India travel to the West Indies to play the “World cup” in the Carribean.Supposedly the longest World Cup and the most boring one might I add.India Lose to Bangladesh.They fail to defeat the Lankan tigers.I do not shed a tear.It doesnt affect me.

A few months later.A young team goes to South Africa.Led by MSD.Yuvraj Singh blasts 6 sixes in an over.We beat our Rivals Pakistan in the finals.It is a day of joy.I am more happy that class go cancelled rather than MSD lifting the trophy.My day was made when an overexcited Ravi shashtri called India the TT champions.Such is the state of commentary.Where is Harsha bhogle when you need him the most?

Now let me bring you back to 2005.24th May.The Red men go to Istanbul to face the mighty Milan.We are 3-0 down at half time.The gaffer makes a statement which I would like to achieve some time
“Lads Give yourself a chance to be a Hero”.
The second half.Captain Courageous pulls one back with a pin pointed header.Rallies the fans to raise the roof of the Ataturk.The most surprising of goal scorers then pulls another back.Vladmir Smicer-You will be a kop legend for that strike.Alonso misses that penalty but tucks it in past Dida.it is 3-3.A 119th minute save from Dudek of shevchenko takes the game to penalties.I cannot watch.
Let me share with everyone something which I have learnt-Germans and Gerrard don’t miss penalties.Pool take a lead.the boy from Ukraine fails to get past Jerzy.
Exuberance!
Might I add-that beauty against Olympiakos and that victory against Chelsea were just as sweet.

3 years on Liverpool fail to get past Chelsea.Manchester United do the double over Liverpool.Arsenal pips us for third place.I am inconsolable.

A month ago-Gerrard gets pulled down by Evra.He slots it home.I shout as if the house is on fire.

As much as I Love my country.For me it always is and always will be club over country.

****
The Champions league fever has got to me.Its only on loan.Its only on loan.The Shankly boys will go to Rome,and bring it back home .

menatap lembaran baru

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now, as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world.” (Taken from the inscription on an Anglican Bishop’s tomb in Westminster Abbey)

Kutipan yang inspiratif tersebut terpahat pada sebuah makam dengan catatan tahun 1100-an Masehi di Westminster Abbey, Inggris. Terjemahan dalam Bahasa Indonesia nya kurang lebih sebagai berikut: “Ketika aku masih muda dan bebas berkhayal, aku bermimpi ingin mengubah Dunia. Seiring dengan bertambahnya usia dan kearifanku, kudapati bahwa dunia tak kunjung berubah. Maka cita-cita itupun agak kupersempit, lalu kuputuskan untuk hanya mengubah Negeriku. Namun tampaknya hasrat itupun tiada hasilnya. Ketika usiaku semakin senja, dengan semangatku yang masih tersisa, kuputuskan untuk mengubah Keluargaku, orang-orang yang paling dekat denganku. Tetapi celakanya merekapun tidak mau diubah!

Dan kini sementara aku berbaring saat ajal menjelang, tiba-tiba kusadari: Andaikan yang pertama-tama kuubah adalah Diriku, maka dengan menjadikan diriku sebagai panutan, mungkin aku bisa mengubah Keluargaku. Lalu berkat inspirasi dan dorongan mereka, bisa jadi akupun mampu memperbaiki Negeriku, kemudian siapa tahu, aku bahkan bisa Mengubah Dunia!”

Lembaran baru telah dibuka, 1430 Hijriah & 2009 Masehi. Pesta terompet, kembang api dan konvoi bermacet-macet sampek pagi telah lewat. Apakah makna dari semua itu? Apakah cuma sekedar berlalunya waktu, bergantinya kalender, saling bertukar sms greeting? Tidak! Melainkan… perubahan apakah yang telah kita jalani? Perbaikan apakah yang telah kita lakukan? Dan… nilai tambah apakah yang telah kita raih?

Hari demi hari berganti, bulan demi bulan berlalu, dan tak terasa usia kita terus bertambah, mencatatkan perjalanan hidup ini. Namun, sudahkah kita membubuhkan catatan perubahan dalam hidup ini? Waktu jualah yang akan menguji…

Selamat tahun baru 1430 Hijriah & 2009 Masehi! Semoga setiap langkah kita di lembaran yang baru ini akan senantiasa penuh dengan keberkahan. Amin

Menyambut Hari Ulang Tahun Kemerdekaan Republik Indonesia ke 63 yang jatuh pada tanggal 17 Agustus 2008 kemarin, Palanta, Komunitas Blogger Padang, mengadakan acara Hiking Merdeka ke Pantai Air Manis melalui Gunung Padang pada tanggal yang sama. Acara yang sudah sekian lama direncanakan dan didiskusikan di forum ini akhirnya berhasil dilaksanakan dengan diikuti oleh 24 orang peserta para blogventurers Palanta Sebagaimana diliput oleh Harian Padang Ekspres pada rubrik Komunitas edisi Minggu 24 Agustus 2008 kemarin.

Palanta Hiking Merdeka di Harian Padang Ekspress

Kebetulan saya sudah 3 tahun menetap di Padang, namun sama sekali belum pernah menjejakkan kaki baik di Gunung Padang maupun Pantai Air Manis. Jadi kesempatan bersejarah mengikuti Hiking Merdeka inipun langsung disamber secepat kilat. Secara saya juga belum tahu rutenya, jadi dengan hiking rame-rame kemungkinan salah jalan pun bisa dihindarkan *meski kemudian akhirnya teuteub aja salah jalan *

Dan di hari minggu itu, usai menghadiri upacara bendera di kantor, dan mengisi absen, saya pun langsung ngebut dari Indarung ke Pantai Padang untuk menuju ke titik pertemuan, sekaligus tempat parkir kendaraan. Akhirnya setelah seluruh peserta terkumpul, para Hikers pun langsung tancap gas rame-rame menuju Muaro untuk menyeberang ke seberang Padang. Rute yang kami lalui adalah dengan start di Pantai Padang, menuju Muaro, menyeberangi Jembatan Siti Nurbaya ke seberang Padang, dan dari sini kita mulai menghadapi jalur tanjakan curam menuju Gunung Padang.

Jembatan Siti Nurbaya

Ada pemandangan yang cukup menarik disini, dimana di sepanjang jalur tanjakan ini banyak terdapat kuburan Tionghoa yang diantaranya berornamen cukup indah khas Tionghoa, jauh dari kesan seram. Namun sayangnya, di sela-sela kuburan tersebut banyak didirikan pemukiman penduduk yang cukup merusak keindahan di sekitarnya. Diantara sekian banyak kuburan Tionghoa yang berada di tempat itu, saya sempat melihat ada salah satu nisan yang bertahun 1891

Pemandangan dari atas Gunung Padang memang cukup indah, kita dapat melihat pemandangan kota Padang di satu sisi dan lautan serta Pulau Pisang Besar di sisi lainnya. Rasa capek dan pegel linu saat mendaki pun langsung sembuh seketika

View Pulau Pisang Besar dari atas bukit

Sementara itu kitapun melanjutkan perjalanan menuju Pantai Air Manis dengan mengambil belokan ke kiri, dimana belokan ke kanan katanya menuju ke makam Siti Nurbaya di Gunung Padang. Dalam menempuh jalur ke Pantai Air Manis ini masih sempat juga kita salah jalan. Dimana kita seharusnya mengambil belokan ke kanan kearah Masjid yang selanjutnya terus ke pantai, bukannya belokan ke kiri kearah Pantai Air Manis tapi ternyata membawa kita kembali ke jalan aspal, mana panas lagi :|

Sepasang Pulau Pisang

Akhirnya kedua rombongan yang terpisah pun bertemu kembali di pantai, itupun setelah kedua2nya tak luput dari “pemalakan” oleh oknum “dispenda lokal” Sangat disayangkan obyek wisata yang cukup potensial seperti Pantai Air Manis ini masih belum dikelola dengan baik oleh pemerintah dan dinas yang berwenang. Untuk memajukan pariwisata di Sumatera Barat sudah semestinya pemerintah mengambil alih pengelolaan obyek-obyek wisata potensial dan mengelolanya secara lebih profesional.

Sesampainya di pantai kitapun langsung makan siang dengan bekal yang dibawa maupun jajanan lotek, kepiting goreng, tempe goreng dan bakwan goreng di pinggir pantai. Setelah paruik lah kanyang dan piriang lah baserak, kitapun memulai acara perkenalan anggota baru Palanta dan diskusi agenda-agenda kegiatan kedepan.

Usai acara, kitapun kembali pulang menyusuri pantai, dengan pemandangan yang “menakjubkan”. Pantai dan lautan di sebelah kanan, dan rumput serta semak yang “bergoyang” di sebelah kiri Herannya, meski tidak ada yang jual obat nyamuk, namun cukup banyak pasangan yang nongkrong di balik lebatnya semak perdu di pinggir pantai, yang sepertinya sih banyak nyamuknya Dan sebelum pulang, kitapun nyempetin melampiyaskan hasrat ber-narsis ria dulu

Hikers Palanta Ber-Narsis Ria

Akhirnya kitapun kembali menuju pantai padang tempat memarkir kendaraan dan rumah masing-masing dengan mencarter angkot di pantai air manis. Waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 5an, ffuiiihh… lama juga ternyata… plus kaki udah mulai terasa senut-senut, pertanda minta pijit nih ntar malem

Gara2 weekend di rumah sehariyan dari kemaren, jadilah bongkar-bongkar album lama, sempet nemu beberapa poto lama, jaman SMA, kuliyah dan salah satunya adalah poto pas KKN di Prambanan, Klaten. Gak trasa udah 6 tahun berlalu, secara dulu KKN di Prambanan, Klaten pas bulan Juni s.d. Agustus 2002. Tepatnya aku dulu si sub unit Brajan II, unit Prambanan, kabupaten Klaten. Lokasinya pas di belakang pabrik susu Sari Husada (SGM).

Jadi ingat lagu-lagunya dulu…

HYMNE GADJAH MADA

Lagu : Suthasoma
1=6
3/4

Bakti kami mahasiswa Gadjah Mada semua
Kuberjanji memenuhi panggilan bangsaku
Didalam Pancasilamu jiwa seluruh nusaku
Kujunjung kebudayaanmu kejayaan Indonesia

Bagi kami almamater kuberjanji setia
Kupenuhi dharma bakti untuk ibu pertiwi
Didalam persatuanmu jiwa seluruh bangsaku
Kujunjung kebudayaanmu kejayaan nusantara

BAKTIKU

Lagu : Antonius Wibowo
1=D
4/4
Mars, Staccato

Kami mahasiswa KKN Universitas Gadjah Mada
Mengemban tugas dalam Tri Dharma berbakti untuk negara
Kami mahasiswa KKN selalu siap mengabdi
Pada masyarakat dan pembangunan desa
Untuk nusa dan bangsa

Reffrein:
Jiwa Pancasila adalah bentengku sikap ilmiah menuntutku
Rasa tanggung jawab adalah ciriku selalu menuntun langkahku

(da capo al Fine) III

Berikut adalah skrinsyutnya.

Ini pas mau pulang, nyempetin poto bareng salah satu warga. Dari kiri ke kanan: Iwan, Saya, Maya, Andri, Roza, Prima & Renggo.

Ini pas ngumpul sama temen-temen satu unit, begadang bareng persiyapan menyambut kunjungan rektor ke unit kita.

Kira-kira padha dimana aja ya mereka sekarang, tolong bagi siyapapun yg mengenal mereka harab menghubungi saya. Hotline di wewewe dot titoreds dot wordpress dot kom!

Weekend nggak bisa kemana-mana, gara-gara pembantu memudikkan diri. Secara belum dapet penggantinya terpaksa lah gantiyan sama istri jadi pengasuh tatha. Baru nyadar, ternyata ngasuh anak umur tiga belas setengah bulan itu menguras energi juga Apalagi tatha ini termasuk lasak kalok kata orang minang, atau kalok istilah jawanya ngglidhik.

Gak ada capeknya puterin ruang ruangan tengah bolak-balek, joget-joget kalok disetelin kaset album anak-anak favoritnya, manjatin sofa buwat lari-lariyan diatasnya kalok nggak diawasi, juga kebiyasaannya suka mungutin dan makan benda-benda kecil di lantai yang luput dari perhatiyan ortunya. Dan hari ini, “korban” ke”lasak”an dan ke”ngglidhik”an tatha adalah headset hape motorolaku, yang hancur speakernya digigit gigi-gigi mungilnya

Dan weekend ini pun akhirnya bener-bener di rumah sehariyan, maen sama anak. Dari mulai maen gendong diatas kepala, maen masak-masakan, maen joget-jogetan, maen sapu-sapuwan, maen kejar-kejaran… dlsbg

Berikut adalah beberapa skrinsyutnya:

maen panggul diatas kepala

maen sapu-sapuwan sambil bebersih sisa maen masak-masakan

abis mandiin…

teler kecapekan dan abis meludeskan susu sebotolpun langsung… mimpi indah

Dan “pengasuh”nya pun, akhirnya juga kehabisan energi… ikutan telerrr…

Hari Minggu tanggal 08 Juni 2008 patut dirayakan oleh Palanta™, Komunitas Bloger Padang, yang menandai eksistensinya dengan penyelenggaraan acara Temu Bloger Padang, sebuwah talk show bertajuk “Ekspresikan Dirimu Melalui Blog”, yang sukses besar. Acara yang dipersiyabkan serba mepet, dengan persiyapan yang kurang dari seminggu tersebut, berhasil dituntaskan oleh Palantaers ke dalam suwatu sajiyan yang atraktif mempertemukan para blogers Padang di halaman Gedung Bagindo Aziz Chan, untuk saling berbagi ilmu, bertukar sapa dan bersilaturahmi.

Acara ini menampilkan para bintang tamu narasumber well known blogers / ITers Sumbar sebage berikut:

1. Pak Shofwan Karim Elha (Rektor Univ. Muhammadiyah Sumbar dan Komisaris PTSP) >> http://shofwankarim.blogspot.com

2. Pak Yulizal Yunus (Budayawan Sastra Islam dan Dosen UIN Imam Bonjol) >> http://wawasanislam.wordpress.com

3. Pak Herman Natsir (Kepala Biro Antara Sumbar) >> http://antara-sumbar.com

4. Bang Yuhefizar (Ahli Teknologi Informasi dan Dosen Politeknik Univ Andalas) >> http://blog.ephi.web.id

5. Pak Wirman dkk dari Telkom Sumbar,

dengan moderator diskusi Bang Abdullah Khusairi (Wapemred Harian Posmetro Padang).

Acara yang diselenggarakan sebage bagiyan dari gelaran Minangkabau Book Fair 2008 ini pertama dibuka oleh rekan Helfi, seorang Mancunian sejati di Palanta yang kebetulan berperan sebage MC dan disusul dengan preambule singkat oleh Kumandan Palanta, Da Max yang juga menjadi Ketua Panitya acara ini. Acara kemudiyan mengalir dimoderatori oleh Bang Khusairi, yang menampilkan Buya yang berbagi suka duka pengalaman nge-blog dan berkecimpung di duniya maya. Dilanjutkan dengan paparan Pak Yuyu mengenai kebebasan berekspresi di duniya bloging dan koridor apa saja yang perlu diperhatikan dalam menulis di blog.

Pak Herman selanjutnya menambahkan pentingnya memberikan cita rasa kwalitas pada tulisan/ postingan kita di blog agar apa yang kita sajikan menjadi lebih menarik sehingga mampu menjadi alternatif berita selain apa yang telah disajikan oleh media massa konvensiyonal. Sementara itu Bang Ephi tak lupa juga mengingatkan perlunya konsistensi menulis di blog, dengan terus berekspresi tanpa ragu dan menjadikan blog sebage mediyanya, sebagemana tema acara ini, “Ekspresikan Dirimu Melalui Blog”.

Pada kesempatan ini, pihak Telkom Sumbar yang diwakili oleh Pak Wirman dkk, menceritakan mengenai rencana Telkom Sumbar yang akan membangun 88 titik hotspot di Padang, Solok dan Bukitinggi. Dengan demikian, para bloger dan penikmat duniya maya lainnya tinggal menenteng leptop dan bisa langsung berselancar riya dengan geratesnya. Tak lupa juga pesan seponsor dari Pak Wirman, yang menawarkan Speedy sebage pilihan paling tepat untuk berselancar di dunia maya. Bukan saja harganya yang terjangkau, namun juga kecepatan aksesnya yang mumpuni, hidup Speedy

Usai acara inti berlanjut ke sesi tanya jawab dan pembagiyan door prize yang disambut oleh para peserta dengan sangat antusiyas, saling berebut untuk bertanya, sungguh diluwar bayangan panitya akan antusiyasme audiens yang sangat tinggi tersebut. Dan 10 suvenir dari Tim Speedy yang disediyakan panitya pun ludes pada sesi tersebut. Pasca acara, panitya kemudiyan membuka kesempatan bagi para audiens yang berniyat untuk membuwat blog dan mendaptar ke Palanta (lewat http://forum.palanta.org) dengan pasilitas Hot Spot yang disediyakan oleh Speedy Telkom selama acara berlangsung hingga beberapa saat sesudahnya, ataupun cuma sekadar Say Hello dan ikutan ngerubungin Desti, Cici, Bernard, aw4nk, amar,  dkk di meja panitya

Dan akhirnya, selesai sudah acara pada hari Minggu siyang itu. Salut buwat tim panitya Palanta yang sudah mempersiyapkan acara ini dengan segala keterbatasan yang ada namun berhasil mewujudkannya dengan baik. Sebagemana selogan Adidas, Impossible is Nothing, nggak ada yang nggak mungkin… dengan kerja keras! Maaf jika saya pribadi cuma bisa hadir dan ikutan narses saat acara Cuma bisa ikutan masang banner bareng Anton sampek hampir ngelempar bapak2 Satpol PP yang ngantri nunggu orgen tunggal sambil nggerombol di balik tirai pake kayu penyangkol tali banner

:: Berikut beberapa skrinsyuts yg tersisa, enjoy ::

Swasana di acara yg semarak… dan… hmm.. syegarr

Tim Palanta berlomba adu senyuman paling najis manisst…

“Kontes Senyum Palanta” masuk koran di Harian Posmetro Padang… wah jadi silitbrintik

Presented by:

Hidup Palanta™! Bersama Kita Bisa! *haayaah…sby banggets*

Sesaat kulirik jarum jam di kantor, posisinya sudah jungkir-balik ke angka 5an dan siyap koprol ke angka 6, pantesan rasa-rasa low batt gini, ternyata sudah waktunya pulang    tapi tanpa dinyana-nyana, data intelejen menunjukkan di luwar hujan masih dengan teganya menghadang. Alhasil niyatan tulus untuk pulang dan ngelayap pun diurungkan, dan mata pun kembali menekuni monitor yang tak jemu-jemu dipandang dari jam 7 pagi.

Tahu-tahu bin ujug-ujug, memori tersedak oleh ingatan kalok barusan dapet hasil palakan 2 batang cerutu dari temen, langsung kubergegas mencari pasangannya… dan di laci sebelah kanan pun berhasil kuringkus sesachet kopi 3 in 1, lumayan buwat nemenin rituwal menggagahi cerutu jatah preman ini Dan acara sore hari afterhours nunggu hujan itu pun menjadi lebih meriyah ditemani segelas kopi dan sebatang cerutu

Pertama kusulut susah banget hidupnya, setelah disetarter sekiyan kali, akhirnya baru cerutu antah-berantah bertuliskan La Flor de Java di bungkusnya tersebut berhasil menyala dan langsung kuhisab dalam-dalam… *bleghug..ughlug..ughlug* agak batuk sedikit, langsung kutendang pake sesruput kopi 3 in 1 panas… wwwiiisshhh… lumayaaann… segerrr… berasa musim panas di St Clare’s

Meski saya bukan termasuk golongan ahli hisab (perokok berat), secara sudah official berhenti merokok rutin semenjak KKN di Klaten tahun 2002, tapi sesekali masih juga selingkuh dengan “tuhan sembilan senti” tersebut. Biyasanya saat-saat ngumpul bareng temen, bisa pas nonbar liga inggris di kafe warung, kumpul rame-rame maen winning di mess temen, atau cuma sekedar menghadiri hajatan sambil menikmati orgen tunggal. Dan meski saya juga bukan termasuk coffee-addicted, tapi lumayan cukub bisa menikmati kopi dan segala bentuk sublimasinya, baik kopi susu, kopi susu plus madu, kopi 3 in 1, kopi krim, kopi instan, kopi tubruk, kopi tarik, kopi duriyan, kopi setarbak, maupun kopi dankdhut

Bersamaan laju jari-jemari di keyboard menulis postingan ini, ternyata bara di cerutu ku mangkin memudar dan padam… kudhu disedot lagi… fuuffffffhh… dan sodok pake kopi….sslluurrppp…. aacchhh…