Being keen gardeners and expats living in France, we found it hard to buy the more unusual varieties either online or locally. With the advent of the new auto-entrepreneur scheme, we decided now was the time to start a business. Importing stock from Holland, we provide a low-cost source of some of the lesser-known botanical varieties of bulbs such as tulip acuminata, calochortus, scilla peruviana to name just a few. At present we have over 30 different bulbs to choose from.

These are only available to French residents as the cost of sending them to other European countries would make our prices uncompetitive (however, we’ll reconsider if you don’t mind the postage cost)

Kata narsis diadaptasi dari mitologi Yunani tentang seorang dewa yang bernama Narcissus. Narcissus adalah seorang tokoh dalam mitologi Yunani. Narcissus diceritakan sebagai seorang dewa yang memiliki wajah tampan. Dia adalah anak dari dewa sungai, Cephissus. Ibunya adalah seorang bidadari bernama Liriope. Ketika Narcissus masih kecil, seorang peramal (Tiresias) berkata kepada kedua orang tuanya bahwa anak mereka akan berumur panjang apabila tidak melihat dirinya sendiri. Akibat ketampanannya banyak yang jatuh cinta kepada Narcissus. Salah satunya bidadari tersebut bernama Echo yang jatuh cinta kepadanya.

Tidak seorang pun yang dibalas cintanya oleh Narcissus. Demikian pula Echo. Echo hidup dalam kesendirian dan kesedihannya. Dewi Nemmesis mendengar doa Echo yang cintanya ditolak tersebut. Nemessis mengutuk Narcissus supaya jatuh cinta kepada bayangannya sendiri. Kutukan tersebut menjadi kenyataan ketika Narcissus melihat bayangan dirinya di sebuah kolam. Dia tak henti-hentinya mengagumi sosok yang terlihat dari pantulan air di kolam itu. Sampai matinya dia terus memandangi bayangan dirinya tersebut. Tidak seorang pun yang dibalas cintanya oleh Narcissus. Demikian pula Echo. Echo hidup dalam kesendirian dan kesedihannya. Dewi Nemmesis mendengar doa Echo yang cintanya ditolak tersebut. Nemessis mengutuk Narcissus supaya jatuh cinta kepada bayangannya sendiri. Kutukan tersebut menjadi kenyataan ketika Narcissus melihat bayangan dirinya di sebuah kolam. Dia tak henti-hentinya mengagumi sosok yang terlihat dari pantulan air di kolam itu. Sampai matinya dia terus memandangi bayangan dirinya tersebut.

Ada sebuah versi lain yang mengatakan bukan Echo yang jatuh cinta kepada Narcissus melainkan seorang pria bernama Ameinias. Kesal “dikejar-kejar” Ameinias, Narcissus mengiriminya sebuah pedang sebagai hadiah. Kesal karena cintanya ditolak Ameinias bunuh diri di hadapan Narcissus dengan pedang yang dihadiahkan kepadanya. Sebelum bunuh diri, Ameinias mengutuk Narcissus bahwa Narcissus jatuh cinta kepada bayangannya sendiri dan dalam keputusasaannya Narcissus akan akan bunuh diri.
Narcisuss adalah subyek yang sangat popular dalam Roman art. Dalam psikiatri Freudian dan psikoanalisis, terminologi narcissism merujuk pada tingkat self-esteem yang berlebihan, suatu kondisi yang biasanya adalah bentuk dari ketidakmatangan emosional

narcissus

narcissus

Double paperwhites in January

Is there anything as cheerful as a daffodil in spring? As the weather turns cold and blustery, I’m on my knees looking forward to spring as I plant daffodils and narcissus in our backyard.

paperwhite narcissus bulbs

Vic and I began our backyard makeover in earnest last January when we had a misshapen magnolia dug out. That was the last of the original trees in our backyard planted by the original homeowner over 30 years ago. All but the magnolia had become diseased and were long gone. While the magnolia had pretty blooms, it constantly dropped big leaves that were hard to compost, and it interfered with our plan of converting the backyard to food production. My citrus trees were too shaded to produce fruit and growing veggies in the shade of the magnolia was difficult as well. So out it went.

All that was left of the backyard magnolia after our tree guy left was this stump, which our gardeners dug out.

In place of the magnolia tree and an oblong herb garden, I installed three raised beds for veggies and reduced the size of the herb garden to a small circle. I’ve finished resetting the pavers and am now planting both single and double paperwhites from bulbs I salvaged, as well as some new Geranium Daffodils and Tahiti Daffodils.

Package photo of Geranium Daffodils

Package photo of Tahiti Daffodils

In reading about narcissus and daffodils, I learned that narcissus is an older word that is being supplanted by daffodil for the common name. But the Latin genus name remains Narcissus, so I figure we can call them by either name.

I also learned that daffodil bulbs contain calcium oxalate, a poison that is found in the sap of daffodil leaves and that can cause skin rashes. What is it with plants and oxalates, anyway? Seems that everything I’ve written about lately has oxalic acid in it (rhubarb, sorrel, and even a tad in chard).

Apparently some people have confused daffodil bulbs with onions and eaten them by mistake. Not a good idea. Narcissus/daffodil bulbs also contain lycorine, a poison. Don’t confuse lycorine (poison) with lycopene (a good compound found in tomatoes that may help prevent macular degeneration, a cause of blindness). Lycorine is a toxic alkaloid that is found in narcissus bulbs as well as the bush lily (Clivia miniata).

It’s hard to believe that anything that pretty can be so hazardous. I’m planting the narcissus bulbs where I’m not likely to confuse them with food, and plan to just enjoy their beauty next spring. With roses, irises, Nemesia, nasturtiums, and allysum blooming under our fruit trees (peaches, nectarines, apricot, plum, apples, and citrus), I’m looking forward to a spectacular spring in our backyard.

For more information on planting and care of narcissus and daffodils, see http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/HO-11.pdf/.

(To read more of Lou Murray’s environmental writing, see her weekly column, Natural Perspectives, in the Huntington Beach Independent at www.hbindependent.com/blogs_and_columns/)

[Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) - ABBA]

Ugh. I miss sex. It’s been far too long.

To be fair, I’ve made some excuses. I told a very interested man at a club that it couldn’t happen (despite him being very attractive) and, well, it was mostly because my room wasn’t clean. I couldn’t bring a guy home to a dirty room! Okay, well, maybe. I mean, I  have before. It would be hard not to. My room is rarely clean…

And obviously, I could have fucked Narcissus despite his potty mouth. But I feel like the standards have been raised. Less one night stands with guys like Narcissus, more recurrences with gorgeous bodies like London Guy (please!).

Though if that hottie behind the piercing counter wants to come home with me next time I stop in, he is absolutely welcome. Or the guy who got pierced after me. Or Danyl off the X-Factor (I know, I know, but the flatmates got me hooked!). Or that guy who was probably with his girlfriend in the shops yesterday, but was a delicious piece of manly meat. I’m so hungry…

Oh, wait, I do see London Guy on Thursday. Hooray!

From ‘Comus’
ii. Echo

SWEET Echo, sweetest Nymph that liv’st unseen
            Within thy airy shell
           By slow Meander’s margent green,
     And in the violet imbroider’d vale
           Where the love-lorn Nightingale
   Nightly to thee her sad Song mourneth well.
   Canst thou not tell me of a gentle Pair
           That likest thy Narcissus are?
             O if thou have
           Hid them in som flowry Cave,
             Tell me but where
   Sweet Queen of Parly, Daughter of the Sphear!
   So maist thou be translated to the skies,
 And give resounding grace to all Heav’ns Harmonies!

Encouraged by my host Suzuki Makoto sensei at Tokyo University of Agriculture, I recently visited the Edo Gardening Flowers exhibit being held at the Ukiyo-e Ota Memorial Museum of Art until November 26,2009. The exhibit has spectacular colorful wood block prints showing flowers and plants in a variety of urban settings including kimonos, at festivals, commercials nurseries, educational materials, Kabuki actors, and Noh dramas.

The exhibit theme is that the Edo period experienced a “gardening culture” in which a passion for gardens and flowers permeated all social classes, including court nobles, shoguns, feudal lords and the common people. According to the catalogue, “the Japanese people’s passion to flowers surprised the American botanist Robert Fortune as seen in his diary upon his visit to Japan in the late Edo period.”

An interesting comparison is also made between between the widespread practice of Edo gardening and also the interest of common people in wood block prints. It is wonderful to see the use of flowers and plants in both high culture realms and in depictions of everyday life during the Edo period.

Two of my favorite prints are collections of plants used by children to learn the names of flowers. The one below, from the back cover of the exhibit catalog, has the names in hiragana. The exhibit also includes Edo era ceramic plant pots.

Some more images after the jump, and also a list of plants seen in the wood block prints.

Plants and flowers I noted from the November exhibit included “Adonis flower” (fukujuso), potted plum tree, narcissus, Chinese lantern, cherry blossoms, pine bonsai, morning glory, chrysanthemum, clematis, hydrangea, iris, peony, azalea, and rose.

[Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper]

Tomorrow I intend to look hot and sexy and get drunk and flirty. I need to have a night of absolute wild fun, which I haven’t done in too long. If I don’t, I am in danger of crushing on London Guy and I think I better avoid that mess. I made a Freudian slip to the flatmates the other day about wanting to impress him. Not just impress him, but make him like me.

Isn’t the point of having a lover who lives in another city to NOT get attached? It worked with the Engineer, Performer, Super Hot Amazing Club Guy who I never wrote about… Then again, they didn’t offer to take me on a Whirlwind Weekend in London…

It’s just the accent, it’s just the accent, it’s just the accent… I need to find someone to make out with tomorrow night! I’m not really worried. I’ve made it pretty clear to him I don’t want something serious and so I will take this Whirlwind Weekend as just another chance to party and sex his gorgeous body up. Fun, fun, fun!

By the way, I never mentioned it, but I’ve stopped seeing Narcissus (though he hasn’t stopped inviting himself over). I ran into him at a club a couple weeks ago and, after excusing myself to go home early (read: avoid him by getting a good night’s sleep), I received the ‘booty call’ text.

Narcissus: What’s up? Why’d you leave?

Coquitten: Just tired, wasn’t feeling well.

Narcissus: Can I come over?

Coquitten: No, I don’t think so. I want to get some sleep.

Narcissus: C’mon, I’ll just come stop by.

Coquitten: I said no.

Narcissus: Well fuck off you piss head!

…

That’s what he actually wrote to me. “Fuck off you piss head!” What made him think he would get laid by me after that? He’s called twice and texted me twice since then. I don’t intend to answer. Never mind that I can’t believe a word out of his mouth, I will never let a guy talk to me like that and get away with it.

What a jerk. Ruining all the lovely sex he would have had with me had he not had that rudeness problem.

At least there’s LG to cheer me up! Wait, no! Must. Not. Crush. Must get silly drunk and tongue-wrestle with someone to rid myself of this sappy silliness! Wish me luck. ;P

Obrazy i fotografie będące ilustracją do wpisu na Wizji Lokalnej pt. “NARCYZ” .

Benczur Gyula ("Narcyz")

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Photo: Brandon Herman ("Narcyz")

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Photo: Brandon Herman ("Narcyz")

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Naśladowca Leonarda da Vinci ("Narcyz")

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Adolf Joseph Grass ("Narcyz")

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Francois Le Moyne ("Narcyz")

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Placido Costanzi ("Narcyz")

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Nicolas Poussin ("Echo i Narcyz")

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Narcyz z Pompei

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"Narcyzi nimfy"

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Pat Brennan ("Przekleństwo Narcyza")

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Richard Baxter ("Echo i Narcyz")

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Salvadore Dali ("Metamorfoza Narcyza")

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"Narcyz"

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Liz Schamehorn ("Narcyz")

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Photo: Michael Zavros ("Narcyz")

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"Narcystyczne bliźniaki"

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Yayoi Kusama ("Ogród Narcyza")

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Paul Dubois ("Narcyz")

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Crash Dive

Viral lightening burnt this shirt green
for a second a day.
Radar stations recorded
a six thousand feet per second descent.
The wounded in the damaged boat
a rope dragged under water
at night past Japanese enemy guns
to a beach.

Narcissus bleeds the darkest blue,
platinum carpet and overcast.
Divorce,
son in tears,
until you see a lawyer.
At dark
over a bay of water
lost control
in the haze.
“…. another student to court,
a bad influence on his ’son’.”

Assay the shade when it alters your arms.
He’d heard the words,
an urge as a phrase,
so the impulse must be pulled
by the CIA.
Silence yourself,
shrivel,
an all afternoon session,
five a week with Jeff Goldberg
who orders small, and no answers.
“I’m not qualified.
I don’t really want to go.”

Served papers
have locked your child’s breast
behind a lawsuit letter
two hundred a piece
and words you break.
Pots and pans weep chrome roads.
Gongs slash screams and bells.
Staircases circle.
The sky piles stone.
Insults cut the skin away
to eat the meat
stomach and bannister radium.

If guitar with the guy over the intercom
changed body or arms
they stopped to reeducate
until he disowned
and reported their version.
Go for, jam out,
any drama role
can cause restless and impulsive
and then the flank
ulcers kiss purple and rove down.

The scorn of God
if film star Peter Lawford
who listened to
and stared at the butler
was weak and false.
Then come the dark and unsure
with feelings.
The Navy robot
salvaged the broken fuselage.
Military law will deduce the causes
and transcribe the duress,
lessons
he had to not look aside during.

He saw with the wholeness
of the alone
when love hasn’t smashed it.
Focus on him
immobilized eye and ledge
like the spine of a tame cat,
even him who hated
the shallowly scooped angles.
His feet lifted gnawed latex
by the tongue and cloth laces
to pound up wires to loudspeakers.
Above the banquet tables and seat rows
unnoticed cathedrals shaded the ceiling.

Unspoken self
to be washed off
drained not even by phosphorous
until mute upon muteness.
The breathless add a wall
as the door to your cellar.
Stand, you can steal each skin cell
through stillness to listen.
Have no knowledge of what comes next
like paint on your pants
when you must not glance at a guest.

When the morning moisture is glazed off
the ripest green grapes
are the first seen,
hands full over the wagon side.

Reply Forward

Barry Titus is a 71 year old poet and writer born in New York City. His publications include: the novel, Masks and non fiction,The Dalai Lama Caper. Barry has spent the last seven years in Holland.

If thou of fortune be bereft,
And in thy store there be but left,
Two loaves, sell one, and with the dole,
Buy Hyacinths to feed thy soul
~Muslih-uddin Sadi

It’s always a thrill to see the tips of daffodils and tulips and other spring bulb flowers poking through the still-cold earth in the spring. But enjoying spring-flowering bulbs requires some advance planning. You have to get the bulbs in the ground in the fall before the big freeze-up!

Late in the summer, Veseys Bulb catalogue arrived in my mailbox. What a wonderful display! So many beautiful varieties to choose from! Tulips in stunning shades. Sunny yellow daffodils. Hyacinths and crocus and snowdrops and more, much more! I find enchantment on every page. But day after day goes by, and I fail to get my order in. Before I know it, I’ve missed another planting season. *sigh*

I had been planning on planting some bulbs around my daylily plants. Before the opportunity had completely passed me by, I finally picked up a few bags of bulbs at a local department store. Probably the quality of the bulbs is inferior to those purchased from specialty stores, but hopefully, they’ll still brighten the garden next spring.

The selection of bulbs was limited, but I was able to purchase a few different varieties of narcissus. I have long had a fondness for narcissus. While tulips offer vibrant colours, they are a bit more problem-prone. Squirrels love tulips. And tulips don’t multiply the way narcissus bulbs do. Narcissus are a good investment in a future filled with their dainty, fragrant blooms.

Narcissus jonquilla ‘Bell Song’ was introduced in 1971 by by the late Grant E. Mitsch. It features very pale yellow, almost ivory, petals and a trumpet fringed with pink. Jonquils are generally more sweetly-scented than daffodils.

Another pack offers a combination of Spring Green tulips and Narcissus ‘Hawera’. Hawera is a dwarf narcissus, developed in New Zealand and introduced in 1938. Spring Green is a creamy-white tulip with pale green feathering at the edges. This should make a very pretty combination.

Narcissus tazetta paperwhite is often grown as an indoor forcing bulb. However, the package assures me that these bulbs will do fine in the outdoor garden, so I hope they’re right.

Finally, I got a few tulip bulbs. They are labeled simply “Rembrandt Assortment”, which should mean the flowers are streaked with colour. Hopefully they will avoid detection by squirrels and it will be interesting to see what colour they are next spring. On the last few sunny days, I’ve got my bulbs nestled into place and can sit back now and anticipate spring.

With New Moon about to hit theaters, all that I’m hearing about lately is vampires (luckily not from my wife). Now, I realize that romance is the largest selling genre in the book industry and I also realize that millions of tween girls are going crazy for the movie. What I just can’t stand is the mass of people trying to jump on the vampire band wagon. Let’s just list off some of the new vampire media since Twilight premiered:

1. Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant
2. Lesbian Vampire Killers
3. The Vampire Diaries (CW)
4. True Blood (HBO)
5. Day Break (2010)
6. Rosencrantz (2010)
7. Gildenstern Are Undead (2010)
8. Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (2000 Disney show that’s been rerun since Twilight premiered)

Sadly, vampires have lost a lot of cool point with me from all of this. All I can see that this is doing to sending a message to tween girls that they won’t get with any hot guys unless their broodingly emo and wear far too much black eyeliner and eyeshadow. As if twelve year old girls didn’t have enough to deal with, now they have to do it all while being depressed. I don’t see a very good combination here…

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If you hadn’t noticed I updated the header picture on the blog! It felt a little self serving to put my ugly mug on it, and more than once I wanted to quote Disney’s Hercules by proclaiming loudly, “I haven’t seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself!” I think it looks good regardless of my inclusion, and it helps to make this blog uniquely mine.

Because my friends and I had so much fun doing this, I’ve added a slide show to this post so you can check out some of the other pictures that we took. They may end up as banners later on too. Also, make sure you keep an eye out for my completely inappropriate pose with a handicapped Bloomsday participant.

-Rich

!!!

Amarillidaceae. Se diferencia de Narcissus assoanus por sus flores blancas, que suelen ir en grupos de 2 o más flores, mientras que en el N. assoanus son amarillas y van solas o en parejas. Florece en Marzo. Protegido en Álfes (Lérida) Decreto 328/1992, de 14 de Diciembre de la Generalitat.

Narcissistic Rage in the White House.

By James Lewis

A “New Kind of Politics”

Sore kemarin selepas menyelesaikan pekerjaan kantor, seperti biasa saya menyempatkan diri untuk melepas penat di kantin. Ditemani dengan keri, dini dan secangkir es teh manis kami berbincang-bincang.

Topik yang dibahas sore itu adalah mengenai tulisan saya yang sebelumnya, mengenai seberapa terkenal kah anda di dunia maya?. Sebuah topik yang menggelitik di era sekarang ini. Adanya situs jejaring sosial friendster, facebook, twitter dan blog membantu kita untuk hadir di perselancaran di dunia maya.

Perkembangan teknologi internet dan sarana-sarana pendukungnya seperti pc, laptop, wifi, bahkan handphone semakin memudahkan kita untuk saling berhubungan dan membuat kita menjadi terkenal.

Saya sempat berucap dengan sangat bangga sekali bahwa bila nama saya di cari dengan menggunakan search engine yahoo dan google, akan menempatkan saya berada di posisi paling atas. Saya memang menganggap kalau diri saya adalah orang yang sangat gaul (hahahah darah congkak saya mungkin tertular dari film-film Inggris yang saya tonton). “Ketik nama abi irawan, maka kalian akan menemukan abi irawan yang ini” ujar saya sambil menepuk dada.

Dini menanggapi dengan dingin, bahkan kalau boleh dibilang hampir tidak ada tanggapan.
“Ayo dong din, lu cek dulu deh nama lu”, ujar saya.
“Nggak ah, ngapain juga, ngga ada untungnya.” jawab Dini dingin.
” Kan lo wartawan di dunia maya, blog punya, sekedar iseng-iseng aja”. Dini menjawab dengan hanya menggeleng-gelengkan kepalanya saja.

Berbeda dengan dini, keri lebih antusias menyambut tantangan saya ini. “Ah lu namanya cuman nama lengkapnya aja yah, coba lu cari nama gue dengan embel-embel nama band gue atau tempat gue kerja sekarang. Pasti lu akan menemukan nama gue di urutan teratas dan halaman yang banyak”. Jawab keri dengan ketus. “Gue ga bermaksud untuk menyombong loh”, selorohnya lagi.

Seperti halnya Narcissus yang sangat bangga akan dirinya sendiri, saya meragukan akan ada teman saya yang lebih baik dari saya. Pandangan mencibir dan tidak percaya saya tujukan kepada keri, kejam memang. Saya sudah merendahkan dirinya sebelum saya mengecek kebenaran dari perkataannya. Akhirnya pembicaraan sore itu selesai dengan sendirinya tanpa ada kesimpulan akan kebenaran perkataan keri.

Keesokan harinya, selepas makan siang saya pun iseng-iseng untuk mengecek kebenaran akan perkataan keri kemarin. Saya pun memulai mengetikan namanya di mesin pencari google. Yup, benar apa yang dikatakan oleh keri kemarin. Namanya, entah itu diketik dengan embel-embel nama bandnya ataupun dengan nama tempat kerjanya menghasilkan jumlah halaman yang sangat banyak. Namanya pun terletak di urutan teratas dari mesin pencari tersebut. Saya kira selama ini saya yang lebih dibandingkan dia dalam perselancaran di dunia maya. Melihat hasil pembuktian ini hanya membuat saya tersenyum-senyum kecil, ternyata selama ini keri hanya merendah di depan saya setiap kali saya menceritakan keahlian saya dalam perselancaran di dunia maya.

One of the many pleasures of the 2009 Jazz at Chautauqua was hearing Petra van Nuis and Andy Brown perform in front of a live audience, and I think the performance clips I’ve posted are solid evidence of their talents.  I was hoping that the duo’s new CD would provide the same experience.  Sometimes, of course, magic dissolves in the recording studio amid attempts to make recordings flawless.     

But I need not have worried.  Petra and Andy’s new CD is splendid.

Where to begin?  (Once we’ve taken in the picture of the happy good-looking couple above . . . )  The songs on the CD are DESTINATION MOON, FAR AWAY PLACES, FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I’LL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU, CARAVAN, BORN TO BLOW THE BLUES, LET’S DO IT, BIM BOM (a solo for Andy), A COTTAGE FOR SALE, HOW LITTLE WE KNOW, INVITATION, ME MYSELF AND I, WITH A SONG IN MY HEART. 

That song list speaks to a wide-ranging and discerning knowledge of the great songs of the last eighty or so years, a delight in itself: Porter, Ellington, Robison, Rodgers, and some delightful oddities.  I know, for instance, that DESTINATION MOON is attached to a film of the same name and it even appears on a Lester Young live date c. 1950, but how many people have ever recorded it?  (If you don’t know the song, imagine IN MY MERRY OLDSMOBILE updated to the era of fantasy rocket travel.)  And BORN TO BLOW THE BLUES is associated with Marilyn Moore — but I haven’t heard it in ages.  But this CD isn’t a high-toned musical archeology lesson, either.

Andy Brown, first: barring a half-dozen I admire, most jazz guitarists have become entranced, Narcissus staring at their own reflection in the shiny body of the Gibson or Macaferri, with the endless possibilities of their own technique.  (You could blame Charlie Parker or Jimi Hendrix for this, but we’re here to celebrate.)  So the notes pour out in what sound like endless streams; the fingers fly.  Few guitarists seem to understand the value of space, of breathing pauses, of logical solo construction — with music delivered at an intelligible rate.  Andy could cover the fingerboard, digits a blur, if he chose to.  But he knows better.  So his playing unfolds beautifully in its own song, no matter what tempo or what chords.  He loves melody; he can swing any band several steps closer to Heaven with his chordal strum, and he is an absolutely flawless team-player, never fixated on the limelight.  Accompanying a singer isn’t easy, either, but Andy is rather like a tactful, energized conversationalist at the party: he has things to tell us, he has comments to offer and support by the bucketful, but he never tries to outshine Petra.

And Petra?  The first thing I noticed about Petra (before I had heard her in person) was the focus she brought to her songs.  She isn’t one of these gospel whoopers; she hasn’t channelled Aretha or Billie; she isn’t a Broadway belter.  All to the good, let me assure you.  It means that she doesn’t overact, that she fits the word to the deed and the notes to the emotion, never smudging a lyric to appear hip, never landing in the wrong place.  She can romp very happily (her enunciation is flawless, even in fourth gear) and she has a speaking presence.  And before I had heard this CD, I would have praised Petra for avoiding the dramatic excesses I hear from so many singers.  But then I heard her version of A COTTAGE FOR SALE, and I was just about stunned by its great dramatic range, mixing ruefulness, poignancy, and loss — without overacting so much as a hair.  It was pure feeling, captured beautifully.  I might never hear that song sung so heartbreakingly again.      

Both Petra and Andy get first place in my imagined TALENT DESERVING COSMIC RECOGNITION category!  Check out their websites — www.petrasings.com., and www.andybrownguitar.com – to find out such useful information as “May I hear some audio clips?” and, following quickly,”How can I buy these CDs?”

Psst!  Want something for free?  Go to Petra’s site and you’ll be able to see many more clips of this duo and other combinations . . . and you can listen to a four-tune demo CD of Petra with her RECESSION SEVEN, which is a sort of well-behaved small swing band (think Eddie Condon – Lee Wiley – Teddy Wilson – Mildred Bailey) including legendary Chicagoans Kim Cusack and Russ Phillips.

Doing some homework this week as part of  a sort of inner inventory. Specifically I’m looking at some of the classic myths, stories and symbols that I have taken up or been given as my own personal “sacred stories” (to use Soulcraft author Bill Plotkin’s term).

The main type of myth I realize I’ve been engaged with is the “wilderness journey” tale, with a strong dose of  rejection or “exile” thrown in as well. As opposed to a battle, a love affair, or some other self-defining archetypal model/structure, the metaphor of a journey has always had the most resonance for me. Furthermore, the isolation or estrangement (i.e. “exile”) that often accompanies such a journey has been the primary metaphor that I have defined myself against, or worked to avoid. In other words, my journey and focus is not away from “home” as a selfish explorer or conqueror, but towards it — as a friend, a family member, and a fulfiller of promises.

It is also an essential journey toward integration, since like many people I am estranged even from certain parts of myself (usually the best and worst). So I’ve spent a lifetime digging deeper, processing my experiences, trying to understand myself and my role in creation. Maybe then I’d better understood others as well, and be understood by them… or so the plan is supposed to go. Thus, this repeated “journeying” pattern has impacted my choices and relationships, my career and home life, my joys and struggles, year after year. It’s the reason to blog, and on many days, for me, the journey is the reason to live. Simply stated, I don’t easily “stay put” from a social, intellectual or spiritual perspective, even though physically I’ve always lived within a thirty mile radius of Chicago.

Below are some mythical or historical examples of  personally influential journeys and exiles (pulled off the top of my head today, …tomorrow I may cite others): 

• the original expulsion of Adam and Eve from The Garden;
• traveling and exile (in wilderness, or in another culture) in the tales of  Abraham, Jacob and his son Joseph, the y0ung King David, and Moses;
• the 40-day desert journey of Jesus and his encounter with Satan (or darkness, sin, shadow, pick your own variation…);
• my favored gospel writer St. John’s imprisonment, his travels in Asia Minor, and his purported  island exile on Patmos at the end of his life;
• St. Francis’ many wanderings through the wilds of Italy, and his concurrent journey from wealth and war to poverty and peace;
• political exile/public rejection/imprisonment of many of my modern heroes of faith and social justice, plus similar revolutionary writers, musicians, or visual artists –people like Thoreau, Van Gogh, Magritte (and fellow Surrealist Salvador Dali, who painted the above image), James Joyce, Paul Robeson, Gandhi, Bonhoeffer, Van Morrison, Bob Dylan, Mandela, etc… though some of their rejection was temporary, I will admit ;

• MOST ESPECIALLY the fictional journey of Odysseus/Ulysses, and various later work that mirrors his complex inner/outer journey of transformation and struggle, especially to overcome basic fear, in characters like Hamlet (plus King Lear and The Tempest’s Prospero), Huck Finn, the Apocalypse Now gang, Frodo,  …heck, even little Harold with his Purple Crayon and Max from Where the Wild Things Are (BTW, the current film version is excellent, but dark). 

I’m gonna have to follow up this “journey” idea, mine it for the gold I know is still there. But that’s enough to chew on for today.

However, I’ve also discovered a secondary myth/archetype which I have also been defined by, though unfortunately I only discovered this connection quite recently. That would be the myth of Narcissus, of course. And –trust me on this one– it takes a true narcissist to go forty three years before realizing what a narcissist he is, as I did during my initiation experiences last year (ripples of which continue to this day). The Narcissus myth captures the essence of what I’ve come to call my deepest “sacred wound” (to use Richard Rohr’s term), and it probably dates all the way back to my toddler years.

Again, I won’t get too in-depth about my own personal growth and challeges. Enough for now to recommend the book Deliver Us from Me-Ville by David Zimmerman, which put me back onto the basic Narcissus principle and its connection to my own psychic journey, to U.S. culture overall, and to issues of faith. I read the book along with most of our church last year, and its wise but simple ideas about human nature and God continue to shed much light upon my own personal tendencies.

And speaking of personal tendencies… I’ve been at this particular post far too long. Time to go brave the wilds of suburban Chicago on a few errands.

After another month of writing, I have enough for yet another big purchase. I’m typing on my HP Mini right now, and yes, I absolutely adore Eurydice, but now I have someone/something else on my mind. There’s something I’ve been wanting for a few months now, and right now it seems unbearable to me that I don’t have him (it) yet.

Pandora just isn’t cutting it anymore. This little square 4 GB iPod that I received for my fourteenth birthday was the light of my life for so long. But, in the past month, Pandora has seen more of the ground than she had throughout her entire two year existence. I was the first one in school to have the first video nano, but now it’s outdated and doesn’t have enough storage. She’s right next to me in her little pink leather jacket and is connected to my record player’s iPod jack so I can hear some Tilly and the Wall at a higher volume. But, at the moment I’m really craving some of The Submarines, whose music I did not have room to fit on Pandora.

For about a month I contemplated what iPod I would get after I got my laptop. My first choice was always the iPod Classic. I realized that the iPod Touch is basically for people who just want the apps and aren’t all about the music, which is the sole purpose why I want/NEED a new iPod. I considered the new iPod nano (Chromatic), but then realized that having a video camera on an iPod with so little storage would be tempting and stupid at the same time. Once again, I would be too busy monkeying around with that rather than listening to tunage. I do plan on purchasing an iPod shuffle in the future, just to have to run with or whatever, but it’s not going to be my main man.

And so, the choice was unanimous. Next week when I get my check, I’m off to the Apple store to pick up Orpheus and let him join my electronic family (Pandora, Narcissus and Eurydice; I have yet to name some other things). I will most likely end up buying the silver iPod classic, just so it’s not identical to my brother’s black one. He and Pandora will have to share my iHome, but I think I’ll put Pandora into retirement for a little while. She’s done a good job for two years and deserves a break. I’m just excited to finally be able to go from every Brand New CD to Paramore’s released and unreleased music to Vampire Weekend to John Mayer to Lady GaGa all on the same iPod. The thought of having my entire music library in my pocket is exhilarating. I can’t wait to put song after song on an iPod without having to take something off, first.

Earlier this year (2009), I started working in silverpoint, a method of drawing with a piece of silver wire held in a stylus. Silver is a soft metal (like lead, copper, etc., which can also be used for drawing), & leaves a residue in its wake, like the trace left on a painted wall if you scratch a metal nail along it. With time, the silver gradually oxidizes to a pleasing sepia-like hue. The main drawbacks to silverpoint are that a) the surface you are working on needs to be prepared with gesso or a similar treatment, to give the paper enough of a texture to hold the silver trace, & b) the end result tends to have a quite limited tonal range, so bold contrasts are really not possible (or very difficult) using silverpoint on its own. The problem of contrast can be mitigated by using a tinted ground, & also by using highlights (such as white pastel), or by introducing other media (ink, watercolor, gouache, etc.) to the mix.

Silverpoint was at its most popular during medieval & renaissance times. It became much less used after that mostly due to the emergence of the graphite pencil, with its ease of use & increased tonal possibilities.

Here is a small selection of my silverpoint drawings, which are mostly of heads:

Narcissus, the Beautiful Youth, 2009, silverpoint on tinted card, 10" x 8"

Song, 2009, silverpoint on card, 11" x 8.5"

The Cry, 2009, silverpoint on card, 11" x 8.5"

Couple, 2009, silverpoint on tinted card, 10" x 8".

Tilted Head, 2009, silverpoint on card, 10" x 8".

There are 48 silverpoint drawings from this series available from my Silverpoint a Day blog. Also, there is a gallery of silverpoint drawings on my web site.

Note: I was looking through my stats & noticed that something called BlogSurfer.us was directing people to this post, & if I give them a shout-out I will get more hits…we shall see…it’s an interesting page that automatically loads random (apparently) blogs.

narcissus…

[The Mating Game - Bitter:Sweet]

It didn’t take long, did it?

A month in and I have two amazing prospects. Not just prospects: conquests. The one I’ve written about last post and a boy who’d you’d know of if you follow me on Twitter. I suppose I might need blog names for them, even. We’ll call the first London Guy and the second Narcissus.

London Guy called me this week wondering if he could come up to my Uni and see me. I agreed immediately – he is gorgeous, charming, and witty. The memory of his body, not to mention his beautiful cock, makes me slick. He might be here Thursday, maybe the weekend after. I owe him, anyway, after his patience with me in my uber-drunken state, so you best believe, readers, he will be shown a very good time.

As for Narcissus… Well, I’m sure you can figure out from his nickname what he’s most interested in talking about. Why did I even bother answering his texts after we met at a club? I don’t know. I had a strangely good feeling about seeing him again. Despite his incessant blather about his job and his money and his car and oh, he’s got a modeling job, and this, that, and the other (all of which sound like boastful lies), I took him back to the dorms anyway and my good feeling was correct: he was fan-fucking-tastic in bed.

His narcissicism seems to dissolve the moment his clothes come off. He becomes an incredibly giving partner – licking and burying his fingers in me until I can’t stand it, then fucking me every which way. I needed to bite down on my hand to keep from moaning too loud and revealing to my flatmates what was going on. It was like this both nights – though the moment we were finished, it was back to “Chat-lie-chat-chat-lie-me-me-lie-me.” By the end of the second night, I wasn’t putting up with it, told him he could let himself out, I was going to sleep. It wasn’t as rude as that sounds, but it certainly made me feel good to get some silence in my room.

I know this is just a quick update, but I have some erotica in mind to start writing soon. I’m just so excited about London Guy coming! I’ll be letting you guys know what happens when it does.

Mothers, you are creatures that live on your own voice. You delight in drowning those at closest distance in that invisible venom of yours. When did you develop this discreet, excruciatingly slow way of dampening everyone around?

My mum pursues a lifelong interest in moaning. Unfortunately, she hasn’t managed to perfect it. Hers is a monotoned, seamless roll of sighs and grumbles that trundles out of her mouth, it always catches you unaware, wraps everyone within earshot in it before unhurriedly increasing the force and tightening the grip around your nerves then twist – pull – wring them until at last -You  Scream! WTF (in your heart), and paddle over to see what brings about this scratching in the air.

=====

This afternoon: wasted as usual.

20 of us scuffed over the footprints of a victim of crime – angry treads, unsure steps, whatever, whoever – from trial preparation, professionally lengthy Q-and-A sessions with the fancy name of examination, sentence up to the after care. When the long march finally drew to an end, our minds were already shaking with exhaustion and yawns, ready to call it a day like Liu Xiang in Beijing Olympics.

We were again and again reminded to remember that for these unfortunate folks, their own case is different stands out from the tens of thousands of cases handled in magistracies every yea; it’s never ‘just another case’ as most prosecutors, the experienced ones in particular, take it.

Advice: make them feel cared for. Translated: make them feel special. Between the lines: mollify the mob.

Before any condemnation are thrown at me, hear my defence first. Unless we’re talking about serious crimes, victims of minor offences are not as timid as we picture them, and so, instead of appearing hesitant, they sometimes see and treat without being aware of it giving evidence as their once-in-a-lifetime solo performance. For once, the spotlight is on them. Those snobs who boss them around everywhere else, every day – educated people, professionals – are suddenly all listening, taking notes of his words and interested enough that they keep asking him questions which in turn proffers more opportunities for him to encore. Within the confinement of court, these usually hateful chaps prolong the life of his spotlight.  The newly installed microphone in front of them only turns up their self-importance.

Not all witnesses are like that. But there is quite a number who are on the high when given the rare opportunity to perform a soliloquy.

Kieslowski recounted that during the shooting of one of his movies, can’t remember if it’s Decalogue or his early features,  he had to film a court scene. In Communist Poland, a permission was needed. Perhaps out of sheer miracle, he got it. As soon as he started shooting, more and more people, lawyers, families of defendants, approached him and asked him to shoot in their court because they’d discovered the miracle of the camera – judges passed unusually lenient sentence in its presence. In a way, the camera is a kind of scrutiny, the check-and-balance that Poland was denied at that time. How it works: well, it should be fairly easy to grasp. Think of yourself in front of the camera, you strike the best pose, wear the sweetest smile to look good. Under that black drape, judges are but human beings. They too want to look good. That’s just basic instincts around a camera. In the end, it got so far that it bordered on the edge of a farce cos Kieslowski and his crew placed cameras empty of films in different courtrooms, just to help during the shooting, and were elaborately thanked after that.

Camera, microphone: the most wicked instruments of inducement to ramble.

Tegnap esett meg ez eset.

Basznék is magammal, csak messze van a lyukam a botomtól, bekapni meg nem bírnám má, mer öregecske testem nem hajlik annyira.
De majd megoldom…

De nagyon szép vagyok én, és geciűl intelligens, szerintem mindenki belémszeretett mán, persze azokat említeném csak akik számítanak.
Mmm, most inkább nem sorolom.

A legfontosabb én vagyok, deszeretemmagam!

Levelezek is magammal, egyelőre még nem válaszoltam, de tervezem, fíínom illatos levelek formájában, hagyörüljeknekem.
Azt még nem tudom hogyan állana meg jogilag egy házasság az esetemben, márminthogy magammal, de szeretném, Rióban mennék velem nászútra.
Gyermekeket is tervezek magamnak szülni, 2 lányt és egy fiút, egy biztos, apásszülés lesz.

Szeretlek magam.

The drawing below from 1993 is another version of Narcissus — this time our hero escapes from the flower that bears his name:

Narcissus Escapes, 1993, brush & ink on paper, 25.5" x 19.75" approx.

I realized recently that this drawing has a verso — a drawing on its reverse side. It is entitled “Fall of the Rebel Angels”, inspired by Milton’s Paradise Lost. I had forgotten that this drawing was there — I do remember doing it in Paris at the time, but was not sure if it still existed. I remember feeling that is was a little wooden in comparison to some of my other drawings, which flowed more freely. It is a little stiff, I suppose, but I quite like it now.

The Fall of the Rebel Angels, 1993, brush & ink on paper, 25.5" x 19.75" approx.