Neighbors are the worst, they are constantly offending at least 2 or 3 senses with their loud talking, ugly kids, shitty barbecues and even their smell can be awful.

Instead of waving off Monday night’s flatulence attack, Daniel Collins of Teaneck pulled a .32-caliber revolver and threatened to “put a hole” in his gassy neighbor’s head, cops said.

The stink apparently stemmed from an ongoing dispute between the two men over noise, police told The Record of North Jersey.

Collins told cops his 47-year-old neighbor cut the cheese so loudly in his vestibule he heard it inside his apartment before he smelled it.

Collins was charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats. He was released without bail.

Terroristic threats? What was this a vow against all farting neighbors or was this guy’s flatulence to maintain national security? Who hasn’t wanted to do this to their neighbor?

The important thing is to keep you cool and release your anger in small passive-aggressive toots, don’t just let your anger rip like you just had an emotional Taco Bell binge.

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Artist Pian Shan Kong knelt down in front of the dead animals confessing for people’s sins as he apologised to the dead animals during the demonstration [when he could have easily just apologized to the ones still on death row]. 

China is yet to make animal cruelty illegal and end the grim tradition [because a place that lacks human rights will probably have this low on the list].

Pet lovers’ associations have sprung up in Chinese cities over recent years[, but in Communism 'springing up' is likely to be followed with disappearances and new 'mystery meat' to hit the market].

While many Chinese enjoy rich dog meat, especially during cold winters, some object to the practice in some regions of beating dogs to death to release the blood into the meat.When food is scarce, dogs are eaten as an emergency food source around China in a practice which is seen as socially acceptable.

As the country becomes more affluent, a growing number of families are buying dogs as pets fuelling the growing campaign against animal cruelty [still, their government probably doesn't appreciate its pets buying pets].

In April, more than 500 dogs set to be slaughtered were saved when the truck they were being carried in to the slaughterhouse was intercepted by activists.

Many of the 505 creatures had barely survived their terrible ordeal, having endured cramped conditions and a lack of water during their near 1,000 mile journey by road.

But rescue came too late for 11 dogs which had succumbed to dehydration and exposure.

[Queuing Sarah McLaughlin ... is it weird that I think I'd eat a person before I ate a dog...?]

*any racist feelings you may have after watching this video are no fault of mine. My job is to show  the racist reports, not make you read them.*

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Planes and airports bring the worst of the worst out of society, crams them into a metal tube and shoots them through the atmosphere and the only thing worse than flying with the public, is flying with the public post-mortem.

Lena Pettersson, a reporter for Radio Sweden, says her fellow passenger, a man in his 30s, appeared to be sick when she boarded a Dar es Salaam-bound Kenya Airways flight during a stopover at Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport, The Expressen reported.

“He was sweating and had seizures,” Pettersson told Radio Sweden. “Air hostesses were there all along, but the plane took off anyway.”

The man reportedly died a few hours into the overnight flight, despite efforts by the crew and passengers to revive him.

Pettersson, who was headed to Tanzania on vacation, was compelled to sit across the aisle from the corpse for the rest of the trip.

“I asked to move, but they said there were no other places,” she added.

It’s not surprising that there is no other place for her, but was there really no other place for him? You couldn’t seal off the bathroom or put him in a luggage carrier or something? It’s disrespectful but the body’s not going to be asking for a refund, now is he?

Talk about the most awkward flight ever. Don’t even bother asking me how I’m doing or if I want more soda, because unless you either move him or I can eat both of our in flight meals, I have nothing to say to you.

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After 15 long years of not seeing your own flesh and blood it becomes hard to bear. So what should a mother do? You got it, poke him on Facebook, then poke him in real life.

“It appears she hadn’t had any contact with the son for 15 years, and now he’s 16,” the source told The News.

“She contacted him late last year via Facebook and was sending him messages inappropriately,” the source said. Police in Napa, Calif., were serving a search warrant in early March when they found Mistie Atkinson, 32, and the son in a hotel room, authorities said. She was arrested and charged with four felonies including incest, oral copulation with a minor and contacting a minor for sex using electronic communication.

The fourth charge involves Atkinson sending naked photos to the teen, a prosecution source told The News. Atkinson has pleaded not guilty and faces up to five years in jail if convicted. She is due back in court May 10.

Napa police said in a court filing that videos taken from the teen’s phone show Atkinson allegedly performing oral sex and engaging in sexual intercourse with the boy, the Napa Valley Register reported.

The videos were dated Feb. 3 and Feb. 4, the paper said.

“Atkinson and the victim are aware they are biological mother and son,” police said in a court affidavit.

It really doesn’t matter how long it has been since you have seen your child, even Freud would think this is a crazy bitch.

This is not what Facebook is for, people. You are doing it wrong. Facebook is for pretending you are more important than you actually are and showing all the assholes from high school that your life is better than theirs and now because Mormons are getting internet access Facebook is either going to have to rewrite its terms and conditions or we’ll have to go back to Myspace, which I’m pretty sure at this point is a more convenient form of those MegansLaw websites

[Update]:

Mistie Rebecca Atkinson, 32, was sentenced to four years and eight months in prison on Wednesday in Napa County Superior Court, according to the Napa Valley Register.

In May, Atkinson, of Lake County, Calif., pleaded no contest to incest, oral copulation, lewd contact with a minor and distribution of lewd material to a minor, the newspaper reports.

But in a letter to the court, Atkinson said she doesn’t consider what she did as incest.

“I don’t feel like I should have the charge of incest because there is something called genetic attraction that is a very powerful (phenomenon) that happens to 50 (percent) of people becoming reunited with a long-lost relative,” she wrote … Last month, ABC’s “Good Morning America” ran a segment about genetic sexual attraction (GSA), the alleged phenomenon Atkinson may have been referencing in her note.

I don’t know about all of that non-sense. I don’t want to be judgmental, but I’ve better excuses from NAMBLA members with duct tape on their mouth. If this was a 16-year-old girl, no one would even care what the man has to say, because we have heard it all. Yes, yes, we know where this is going, “blah, blah …  Ancient Greeks …  blah, blah … I didn’t choose this … blah, blah … Gays used to be ‘deviant’ … “

I don’t understand that ‘phenomena.’ Maybe I lie in the other half of your ‘statistic,’ but I tend to gravitate towards a bread of a different flavor than my own, if you catch my drift … A beverage of a different flavor, so to speak. One could even say a race of another color.

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This is the ballsiest man to walk in public in a long time. He’s not only not ashamed of his 100lb testicles, he’s proud of them.

An extraordinary condition that ballooned Wesley Warren Jr.’s scrotum to a massive 100 pounds made him feel like “a freak,” and the Las Vegas man set off on a campaign to raise $1 million for corrective surgery.

But given the chance to have the surgery — even at no cost — the 47-year-old remains reluctant to go under the knife, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported Monday.If anything, Warren’s new-found fame may have gone to his head, according to the newspaper, which said he appears to be enjoying his celebrity status. “I’ll make a decision when I’m ready,” Warren said. Doctors said Warren suffers from scrotal lymphedema, which causes the scrotum to swell with watery fluid.

Without the extra growth, Warren would weigh about 300 pounds, he said. His large size makes urination difficult and a normal sex life impossible.

He attributes his condition to a painful episode in 2008, when he was turning in bed and accidentally squashed his testicles.

 

That’s rather convenient that you decide to push off surgery now that you are a media-magnet millionaire who made all his money from people who sympathize with the struggles of large testicles.

He looks like an urban legend people in the east would spread about Americans to stress the perils of over-eating and obesity, but apparently he likes that attention. He must be more deprived for attention than I was when my ex-girlfriend discovered a series of porn starring a more well-endowed version of me.

Is giving up sex and urination worth having these huge balls? I mean, he’s already black, can you just take that and call it a win?

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This Lemur may not just be the cutest mammal you’ve seen, it may also be the meanest.

The gray mouse lemur is featured in a new study in the American Journal of Primatology, which describes what may be the first case of adult cannibalism in this species and possibly of any nonhuman primate species, the report said.

“It has been thought that primate cannibalism only occurs in the context of infant eating, and adults do not consume the flesh of other adults,” according to the report, which comes on the heels of bizarre cannibal behavior among humans.

The researcher collared a sample of lemurs in the Kirindy forest of western Madagascar in late 2010.

In a surprising discovery, an adult male lemur was found chomping away for 20 minutes on an adult female found hanging from vegetation.

Not our animals! This really is the beginning of the end for us, if even Lemurs are taking bath salts. And they aren’t even the only one’s! It seems the epidemics is swarming to all cute animals!

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We all learned that oral sex doesn’t get you pregnant, well, when you’re partners a human anyhow.

After the victim of the ‘attack’ was hospitalised, doctors removed the baby cephalopods from her gums, tongue and cheek. It was only then that the pods were formally identified as ‘squid spermatophores.’

The Center’s paper says: ‘She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity.

‘Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva [gums] were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa.

Not only do we have to be afraid of toilet seats and New Jersey mouths for fear of the STI’s, now we have to hide all of our mucous membranes from ocean water. That means mouths, vaginas vaginae and even penises (penii?).

This woman is never going to live this down. It’s one thing to get knocked up with a bunch of different kids, but you can’t even limit it to one species. At least there’s a lesson to bust that myth “Spitters are quitters.”

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What are justifiable reasons a cop could use to come to terms with taking a life? Whatever they may be, cannibalism is most likely among them.

A Miami police officer on Saturday fatally shot a naked man who was chewing on the face of another man on a downtown causeway off-ramp, police and witnesses said.

The Miami Herald reports that gunshots were heard at about 2 p.m. on the MacArthur Causeway off-ramp, which is near the newspaper’s offices. Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon a naked man mauling the other man. The newspaper quoted witnesses as saying that the officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he ignored the demand, the officer shot him. Witnesses said that the naked man continued his attack after being shot once, and the officer shot him several more times.

Police said the other man was transported to Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center. The newspaper said he had suffered critical injuries.

This was probably just a cultural miscommunication. In some cultures, it’s a sign of affection and admiration to gnaw on another’s body. That’s also my theory on how French kissing began. Plus, if this man wasn’t parading his supple and plump face around people wouldn’t be likely to try to eat it.

You think it’s crazy now, but just wait until you see his Defense.

The naked man shot by police after being found eating another man’s face may have been under the influence of an LSD-like drug called “bath salts,” according to Armando Aguilar, the president of the Fraternal Order of Police, reports CBS Miami.

The nonprofit organization Neighbors 4 Neighbors is also accepting donations on Poppo’s behalf and can be reached at (305) 597-4404. And finally, Jackson Memorial is also accepting donations via check at the following address:

Jackson Memorial Foundation
Park Plaza East
Suite G
901 NW 17th Street
Miami, FL 33136

If you really want to help this man, don’t throw money into some charity scam, write him a personal check and me a small cut for having to endure these pictures. It also wouldn’t hurt to draw up a pamphlet about how not all blacks are zombies; he looks like he may have previously had a predilection to racist sentiment and this is only going to fuel that tire-fire.

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Usually, when a killer wants to dismember his victim he takes special care of where he leaves the body parts, but not all of them are so attentive.

Los Angeles County officials are investigating what appeared to be a pair of lungs found on a sidewalk in unincorporated South Los Angeles.

A citizen called to report what she thought were the organs about 8:30 p.m. Sunday in the 13100 block of Avalon Boulevard, said Sgt. Robert Dean of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

Deputies responded and called the coroner’s office to the scene. Additional testing will be done to determine if the remains are in fact lungs and whether they are human, Dean said.

How much death is there in one place that body parts are just found on the side of the road. I get we are dealing with the lower tax-brackets of America, but what is this Rwanda?

This may or may not be zombie related, but there’s no reason to take chances. Compton is already known for its drugs and gang violence, who’s to say that it wouldn’t be a perfect feasting ground for zombies? I know if I were trying to hunt for food, I would aim for dark meat that runs in hoards.

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Need more proof that we are beginning a zombie apocalypse? What about this guy who murdered and ate another mans organs?

The 21-year-old college student allegedly told detectives that he hadn’t just killed the man who’d lived with his family for months, but had eaten his heart and portions of his brain. The victim’s severed head and hands were found in the men’s Harford County home; more remains were left in a trash container outside a church.

Authorities outlined the macabre circumstances Thursday in charges against Alexander Kinyua, an electrical engineering major at Morgan State University and member of his school’s ROTC program, of first-degree murder in the death of 37-year-old Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, a Ghanaian national and a former master’s degree student.

Okay, the first time cannibalism happens, it’s edgy. The second time, it’s a little unnerving, but now it’s just getting pathetic. This guy’s not crazy, he just wants to keep up with the cool crowd of kids who spend their time sniffing bath salts and eating each other. Remember back in the day when people would use recreational time to get high and have orgies? Call me old fashion, but I miss the gun robberies and window breaking that was brought along with meth.

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If you aren’t worried about the sudden rise in cannibalism and zombification, this should do it. This man says nay to guns and knives as weapons, instead he uses his organs.

Officers encountered 43-year-old Wayne Carter on Sunday morning when they responded to reports of a man barricaded in a room in Hackensack and threatening to harm himself, police Lt. John Heinemann said.

Two officers kicked in the door and saw Carter in a corner, holding a knife in his hand, police said. Carter, ignoring the officers’ orders to drop the knife, stood up and stabbed himself in the abdomen, legs and neck, they said.

Carter yelled at the officers and took an aggressive stance, and the officers used pepper spray in a bid to subdue him, but it had no effect, Heinemann said.

Police said Carter then cut off pieces of his skin and intestines and threw them at the officers.

Pepper spray hurts like all hell, but something tells me that if someone doesn’t flinch at being disemboweled, they probably won’t mind some mace in the face.

This is the third recent incident of cannibalism/zombie behaviors; therefore, I officially declare us in Resident Evil mode, meaning that you should always incorporate the rules learned in Zombieland, the most important being 1. Double-tap 2. Always check the back seat and 3. Never Trust bathrooms.

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What are justifiable reasons a cop could use to come to terms with taking a life? Whatever they may be, cannibalism is most likely among them.

A Miami police officer on Saturday fatally shot a naked man who was chewing on the face of another man on a downtown causeway off-ramp, police and witnesses said.

The Miami Herald reports that gunshots were heard at about 2 p.m. on the MacArthur Causeway off-ramp, which is near the newspaper’s offices. Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon a naked man mauling the other man. The newspaper quoted witnesses as saying that the officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he ignored the demand, the officer shot him. Witnesses said that the naked man continued his attack after being shot once, and the officer shot him several more times.

Police said the other man was transported to Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center. The newspaper said he had suffered critical injuries.

This was probably just a cultural miscommunication. In some cultures, it’s a sign of affection and admiration to gnaw on another’s body. That’s also my theory on how French kissing began. Plus, if this man wasn’t parading his supple and plump face around people wouldn’t be likely to try to eat it.

You think it’s crazy now, but just wait until you see his Defense.

The naked man shot by police after being found eating another man’s face may have been under the influence of an LSD-like drug called “bath salts,” according to Armando Aguilar, the president of the Fraternal Order of Police, reports CBS Miami.

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We are used to CEOs peddling a bunch of crap at us, but why would they be putting it in their neighbors’ mailboxes?

Bob Furnad, who ran CNN’s Headline News from 1997 until 2001, has been fined for taking a pile of dog feces, placing it in a bag and then cramming the present into the mailbox of his next-door neighbor in Covington, Georgia. A surveillance camera captured the entire event … The unlucky neighbor, however, says he is completely oblivious as to what would have sparked this feud that he had managed to involve himself in without even knowing … The neighbor adds that it has been several years since he had any interaction with Furnard.

Dameron is not pressing charges against Furnard, but law enforcement in Covington has fined the former CNN exec $181 for littering. In explaining his handling of the case, Dameron tells reporters, ”I think this is embarrassing enough for him, as well as everyone in Covington.”

We were so used to thinking of CEOs as high-class, rich and greedy sociopaths, but what do you know? They are just like you or me, if we were both drunk 15-year-olds. It’s actually surprising that this type of stuff doesn’t happen more often with news companies, seeing as they have nothing better to talk about in their 24-hours of exaggerations. This is the type of stuff they should be playing.

Just one thing. How could you be mad enough to be shit in someone’s mailbox, but considerate enough to put it in a bad so it doesn’t mess anything up?

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Cannibals are popping up all over the place and the world hasn’t even ended, but how are they going to integrate back into society after being treated?

A man who beheaded and cannibalized a fellow passenger on a Greyhound bus in Canada won his bid to leave the grounds of the mental hospital where he is being kept, a criminal review board ruled Thursday … Li was found not criminally responsible for the July 2008 death of Tim McLean, a young carnival worker who was sitting next to Li on a bus near Portage la Prairie. [He] thought he was attacking an alien, according to a mental health advocate who interviewed him.

The board said the passes should only be granted if Li’s treatment team believes his condition is stable and that it would be “appropriate and safe for him to leave the locked ward.” He will have to be escorted at all times by a staff member and a security officer.

[Tim] McLean had his eyes closed and was listening to music on his headphones when Li, a stranger who was sitting beside him, suddenly stood up and started stabbing him. As the bus stopped and horrified passengers fled, Li carved up McLean’s body and ate portions of it. A judge was told at Li’s trial four years ago that Li was an untreated schizophrenic [who] emigrated from China in 2001 and worked menial jobs in Canada.

“I understand people are scared because of my behavior on the Greyhound bus. I am not at risk for anybody. I don’t believe in aliens. I don’t hear voices,” Summerville quoted Li as saying. “I take my medication … everyday. I am glad to take it. I don’t have any weird voices any more.”

So we apparently have medication to make alien-eating cannibals into normal people, but we make a pill to make the Tea Party rational..? Still that’s going to be a hard apology to accept. “Sorry I ate your loved one, but I thought he was an alien… so … we’re cool right?”

This is what those iPhone sweat shops do to people in China, turn them into cannibals. He tried to escape the horrors of that factory, but instantly flashed back to it when he saw the deceased’s headphones. This wouldn’t even be an issue if people weren’t so damn selfish. You see a guy being mauled and the entire bus clears out? It’s not like he had a gun, he just had a knife and an empty stomach, you guys could have taken him. Not to say that I would have the balls to, but that’s why I slum it in an automobile.

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Whenever you are surprised by police the first thing to do is to dispose of the evidence, meaning you flush it or in some rare cases, you can swallow it.

Police in the Canadian province of Ontario say they are holding a man who is accused of swallowing a $20,000 diamond as long as it takes for him to produce the evidence.

It has been nearly a week since Richard Mackenzie Matthews, 52, is alleged to have switched a diamond at Precision Jewellers and swallowed the real one.

Matthews has been held at police headquarters while they wait for the 1.7-carat stone to pass through his system. Sgt. Brett Corey said Thursday that Matthews has gone to the washroom numerous times, but the diamond hasn’t passed.

Corey says a recent X-ray showed a pair of fake diamonds, or cubic zirconiums, stuck in the man’s intestines but because a diamond is translucent, it isn’t visible. He says the suspect is eager to get the ordeal over with and is co-operating.

Sounds like one of those shits he took was worth more than he could make in a year at his minimum wage job.
He just wanted to live the high life and this isn’t any different that those people who eat gold flakes on their desserts because it compliments the children’s tears rich people use instead of vegetable oil. But honestly, he really low-balled this one, he should have been a real man and set his sights on something much more expensive, like this baby:

That would be impressive to see him swallow and pass. Well, it’s not really awe-worthy if he were gay, but impressive nonetheless.

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Sanitation is a big issue in the fast food industry, but it really doesn’t matter how clean your hands are if they are severed and served with the food.

Reportedly, a restaurant employee cut off her finger with a meat slicer while preparing the meal. She left her station to deal with the emergency, and other employees, who were unaware of the injury, continued to complete the order.

“Somebody loses a finger and you keep sending food out the window,” said the teen’s mom, Jamie Vail. “I can’t believe that.” She added that following the gruesome discovery, her son was “traumatized,” couldn’t eat or sleep, and had been prescribed medication Fox News reports.

John Gray, Arby’s vice president of corporate communications, provided Yahoo! Shine with a statement saying, “Arby’s wants to reassure customers that we are committed to providing quality food in a safe and healthy environment. We are deeply concerned and apologetic to the guest involved in this unfortunate incident….Upon learning of the incident, the franchisee’s restaurant team shut down food production and thoroughly cleaned and sanitized the restaurant. The franchisee fully cooperated with the Health Department during the investigation, and the restaurant was given the approval to remain open.”

Translated that means: “come on, you people are eating at Arby’s and just now are complaining about what’s in your food? We aren’t closing down because you fat asses will be back once you find out making food at home requires effort.”

Poor kid can probably never eat Arby’s again. That sandwich probably tasted oddly similar to that taste he wakes up with when he spends the night at Uncle Richie’s house.

The only question is that someone goes to “deal with the emergency” that is her severed finger, but figures she should leave it behind. It literally took her half a second to give up all hope of reattaching her own limb. Which means she must have thought something along the lines of:‘This is the perfect time to get that vibrator attached to my hand instead of that cumbersome finger!”

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This is a good enough set of photos to start a PSA of what happens to your dog in your car or your brain when you watch The Big Bang Theory.

Well, cars are left under the sunlight all the time, and if something like what you’re about to see (aftermath of it actually) blew up, it says more about the company that made it than the owner himself …

So what happened? Well, someone left his car to bake under the warm rays of the star we revolve around. Apparently, his GPS Receiver battery just couldn’t take it, and blew up in his the vehicle.

This poor car owner, he probably would have taken it in immediately to be fixed, but had no idea how to get to the local repair shops.

This same thing happened to me when I called my GPS a ‘dumb British ass-sucker’ because she sent me down a road under construction. Then again, I’ve always had trouble communicating with women.

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Japan has always been on the cutting edge of sex products. Whether they be slightly disturbing pornos, robot prostitutes or BDSM accessories, they have it. The newest of their sexy creations includes this robot ass.

 This is a robotic buttocks created by the University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo to receive stimulation, and to respond via its artificial muscles to express the emotion it feels. What this will contribute to science is still unclear. 

There is no way this could sufficiently be of any use, scientifically or emotionally. It’s hardly even sexy because it’s in the shape of a 13-year-old white girl’s ass and when you think “robotic ass” you think bodonkadonk, not cutting board.

Hopefully there will be some improvements by the time it gets to the United States and they will fix some of the holes in the design (or lack thereof). And I am assuming I am the only one that notices that “SHIRI” is dangerously close to Apple’s Siri (at least with a Japanese accent); coincidentally, if Apple’s Siri was more ass-interactive I may have converted, but that bitch gets so snippy when you ask her about her buttocks. DON’T DODGE THE QUESTION SIRI THIS TIME IT IS “ABOUT YOU.”

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A good amount of information on the pre-world war two era has been lost after the war, but new discoveries show that Adolf Hitler was nowhere near as cool as he thought he was.

Among the more surprising notes, he said, was that the “Mein Kampf” madman used powdered cocaine extensively to soothe his sinuses and throat, and was also prone to passing gas. Hitler was treated with pills containing strychnine, a poison, “which probably explains his stomach pains,” Panagopulos told the Daily News. Hitler also used chamomile plants as a “cleansing enema,” the reports said.

And when it came to revving up his libido, he was injected with “extracts” from young bull testicles, as noted by Dr. Theodore Morrell.

Well this explains why he was so damn pissed off all the time, but how is it that we are just now spreading the news that he used to shove chamomile up his ass and the Colombian currency up his nose? This type of information could have been crucial in turning the Germans against him during that time.

Let’s learn from this mistake and always speculate the faults in tyrannical leaders to get them out of power. For instance, did you know that Fidel Castro actually uses American ketchup bottles as but plugs? And Bill O’Reilly likes to put junior mints in his urethra. Sounds like a Fox News type of truth.

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After 15 long years of not seeing your own flesh and blood it becomes hard to bear. So what should a mother do? You got it, poke him on Facebook, then poke him in real life.

“It appears she hadn’t had any contact with the son for 15 years, and now he’s 16,” the source told The News.

“She contacted him late last year via Facebook and was sending him messages inappropriately,” the source said. Police in Napa, Calif., were serving a search warrant in early March when they found Mistie Atkinson, 32, and the son in a hotel room, authorities said. She was arrested and charged with four felonies including incest, oral copulation with a minor and contacting a minor for sex using electronic communication.

The fourth charge involves Atkinson sending naked photos to the teen, a prosecution source told The News. Atkinson has pleaded not guilty and faces up to five years in jail if convicted. She is due back in court May 10.

Napa police said in a court filing that videos taken from the teen’s phone show Atkinson allegedly performing oral sex and engaging in sexual intercourse with the boy, the Napa Valley Register reported.

The videos were dated Feb. 3 and Feb. 4, the paper said.

“Atkinson and the victim are aware they are biological mother and son,” police said in a court affidavit.

It really doesn’t matter how long it has been since you have seen your child, even Freud would think this is a crazy bitch.

This is not what Facebook is for, people. You are doing it wrong. Facebook is for pretending you are more important than you actually are and showing all the assholes from high school that your life is better than theirs and now because Mormons are getting internet access Facebook is either going to have to rewrite its terms and conditions or we’ll have to go back to Myspace, which I’m pretty sure at this point is a more convenient form of those MegansLaw websites

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What’s your favorite part of your BMW? Is it the GPS? The smooth ride? The Bluetooth compatibility? Or is it the sleek, sexy and intoxicating leather?

After 20 months, Henry Wolf decided to contact a lawyer instead, claiming that the seat on his BMW motorcycle gave him an erection lasting nearly two years. The San Francisco Chronicle reports that Wolf filed a lawsuit against BMW North American and Corbin-Pacific claiming that the “ridged seat” on his 1993 motorcycle left him with mental and emotional anguish after allegedly causing an extreme case of priapism, also known as a long-lasting erection.

Wolf “has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride,” attorney Vernon Bradley of Sausalito wrote in the lawsuit, which was filed in California Superior Court in San Francisco last Thursday. “He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”

Bradley said the alleged case of priapism began after Wolf took a four-hour ride on his motorcycle.

Who would have guessed that this was a legitimate condition and not some sort of leather fetish. It almost makes you want to feel bad for the man and feel really happy for his girlfriend.

How does any man, doctor or car mechanic would let a bike-induced boner last for a day let alone two years? What, was this fun for you are first, but it wasn’t until around month two when your dick started knocking things off of tables and completely ruined your pissing stance did things to become clear?

Maybe he just hasn’t heard of the ol’ belt & button method. For all you ladies: that is when you strap an erect penis upwards to make it less noticeable. This would have worked well enough for him to get a good enough interview that would make up for his ‘lost wages,’ unless his job was as a gym teacher, in which case you are out of luck. Still, he thinks he had it bad not earning wages? Thank god black guys don’t do motocross! Do you know how hard it is to get unemployment benefits when you show up to the office with a tree-trunk boner?

Well, if he doesn’t get all he demands he will at least get reimbursed for his fitness membership seeing that the only place he can work out now is in a West Hollywood bathhouse.

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If you don’t have them yourself, you can tell by the twisted cringes of every guy you know that ball trauma is miserable. And if you are some sort of Nazi and those pained faces don’t phase you, this man’s death will make you rethink your opinion on testes.

According to witnesses talking to China News 24, the woman was riding a scooter and tried to park it in front of the man’s shop. She was going to pick up her son, who attends the elementary school in that neighborhood.

The man went out of the shop and told her that she couldn’t park her scooter there. She protested and a the shouting match started. After a while they started to fight physically. The woman called her husband and brother, who came to the scene. But things got a lot worse than just a few smacks here and there: the woman grabbed the man’s testicles and squeezed them so hard and long that the man shutdown.

I hope this woman sleeps well at night knowing she literally killed someone because she didn’t want to move her scooter. What a great example she sets for her son and all of the other local children. She really is setting in the age-old saying of “if, at first, you don’t succeed, then grab the closest pair of testicles, squeeze and twist.” It teaches a message of gaining power with intimidation or sex.

This woman has the strangest train of thought and it’s more than impossible to follow:

1. I need park here.
2. Why he won’t let me park here?
3. Dis nigga don’t know who he mess wit.
4. ????
5. ????
6. ????
7. I tink his vagina pop.

Damn google translate…

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People have gone to great lengths to get their ‘sip on,’ as my black friend would say (she get’s bused in from LA to hang out with me), but this new trend is dropping the jaws of alcoholics and the hopes of parents everywhere.

Six young people recently landed in a Southern California emergency room with alcohol poisoning after chugging the antimicrobial gel.

Hand sanitizer contains a whopping 62% ethyl alcohol — making the foul liquid akin to a shot of hard liquor.

Dr. Young-jin Sue, a pediatric toxicologist at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, said that she hasn’t seen any cases of teens coming into the ER after overdosing on the alcohol-rich gel.

“Teens don’t have access to ethyl alcohol so they resort to crazy things,” she said. “It’s very concentrated, just a few ounces can make someone sick.”

How stupid do you have to be to do something and then ask if it can kill you? And how stupid do you have to be to drink hand sanitizer and not even try the fruity and delicious sanitizers from Bath and Body Works? The best part is that his friend reassures him that it can’t kill him, because it’s clean. What brilliant logic, all we can hope is that they took that logic and continued their game of “guess the toxicity” under the kitchen sink with all of the other ‘clean’ products.

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No one has seemed to be able to pull of a Rosa Parks since the incident, but this man came close with his act of protest and victimization of an entire airport.

According to the man, agents with the Transportation Security Administration were harassing him as he readied to board a flight. While the TSA officers’ exact actions are likely to not be debated until Brennan’s day in court, the way in which the would-be flier protested their behavior is something more suitable for a bathhouse than a busy airport.

Unhappy with how the TSA was conducting their screening, Brennan stripped naked at the security checkpoint in plain view of the airport’s other patrons. According to police that spoke with CNN, Brennan was asked “numerous times” to put on his pants, but the naked man had already made up his mind. Eventually the authorities arrested Brennan and charged him with disorderly conduct and indecent exposure.

“When interviewed about his actions, Mr. Brennan stated he fly’s (sic) a lot and had disrobed as a form of protest against TSA screeners who he felt were harassing him,” reads the police report filed for the incident. ”Mr. Brennan’s actions caused two screening lanes to be closed and while some passengers covered their eyes and their children’s eyes and moved away from the screening area, others stepped out of the screening lanes to look, laugh and take photos of Mr. Brennan.”

Some people prefer letters, some people use grass-roots movements and some people just use their sexy ass bod to their advantage.

By doing this he really just stooped lower than the TSA, because now the line is going to move slower as they deal with him and everyone in line has to suffer seeing the star of the “Jingle My Bells Santa” porno in plain sight.

The best way of really punishing this man would have been to let him carry on his way, but not to let him get dressed. After a plane ride full of hearing “Mommy look my pee-pee looks just like his!” and “Daddy, why does the pool boy dress like that man when you aren’t home?” he will have learned a lesson much more vivid than any that could be taught in a jail cell.

Now, someone on this website may or may not have proposed this form of protest, but in that person’s hypothetical defense, it really only works if everyone does it. Same thing for a protest of any type. The one-million man march would probably have lost a little “umph” if it was just one black guy shouting at the establishment.

Source

Everyone hates spiders. Whether they are microscopic or literally as big as your shoe, there is nothing cute about them. And if there is a single arachno-philiac out there, here is something to change your mind.

“A few times the snake managed to get up and attack the spider, and the spider would run back up the web.

“I would have put my money on the snake for sure, especially seeing how big it was.”

Mr Hadleigh estimated the tree snake to be around half a metre long and was alive for “an hour or more” after being caught in the spider’s web, before finally succumbing to the crafty arachnid’s venom.

“You could see the spider just chewing into it and the part which the spider was eating had gone all black and the insides were bubbling,” he said.

See, this is why no one pays attention to Australia. It is the most hazardous place on the planet. I shouldn’t have to go over all the travesties that await you in Australia, but in case you missed it: there are giant snakes, giant kangaroos, dingos, the gay capital Sydney and this creature here.

That is not a spider, that is not even an arachnid. That is a demon sent from the imagination of Satan himself to pray on the fears of Americans. If you ever have to literally worry about the spider eating you and that phrase isn’t just an exaggeration by your girlfriend who finds a one in the bathroom, then it’s time to move out.