Please click here to reach City Arts magazine’s site where my love letter to Albertsons is posted — or, read it below!

I love running. Especially if nothing is chasing me.

Since April I’ve logged about 600 miles or so, though I’m finding it harder to get the miles in since Daylight Saving Time ended.

This year I’ve run in temperatures from 26 degrees to 99 degrees, in stifling humidity as well as 35-knot wind. I’ve run through fields, in neighborhoods, on the beach, and around cities. I’ve run in sunshine and rain and a storm. I’ve been chased by a dog and run off the road by a car.

The bulk of my miles have been in sync with the tunes of Coldplay, Natalie Merchant, Imogen Heap, The Decemberists, The Weakerthans, Hawaii Mud Bombers, The Killers, Automatic Loveletter, Bat for Lashes, and Eric Clapton.

Of the 115 runs since April, each has been comfortably similar yet completely different. I’ve debriefed the day, written poetry, planned sermon series, and engaged in imaginary conversations with people I love and people I don’t love. I’ve dreamed and thought and prayed and regretted. I’ve mentally relived episodes and conversations and interactions impossible to physically relive. And I’ve thought long and hard about the “what ifs,” the “could have beens,” and the “perhaps.”

As I’m gearing up to log 1,000 miles in 2010, I’ve been reflecting on some of the more memorable runs from this past year.

Four miles along the Susquehanna River in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania was cold but invigorating. Twenty miles along Atlantic beach during a week in June was hot, hot, hot.

An Elizabeth City run at 10pm in the dark in 26-degree sleet was, well, suffice it to say I was glad when it ended. And I remember one particular five-mile run following a day at the office during which I came home, changed clothes, grabbed my shoes, and shaved almost two minutes per mile off my best time; nothing like a dose of regret and reality to help you kick it into high gear.

However, of all my runs since April, the last three have been most memorable. The first was a short run of no more than a mile through the dusty dirt streets of San Juan de la Maguana in the Dominican Republic. It came on the heels of eight hours of painting concrete walls around a school in ninety-plus-degree temps.

As we finished painting and gathered our supplies for the walk back to the compound, me and three of my friends, who were missing their running as badly as I was, decided to at least get a mile in. It was quite an experience running in the midst of extreme poverty, dodging Dominicans, livestock, motorcycles, kids, and puddles. But we were glad we did it.

On the day before we left the Dominican Republic, six of us logged about four miles along the edge of the surf of the Caribbean Sea at sunset. Wow. Seriously, wow.

And then my first run upon returning to the states was once again through my neighborhood in 55-degree wind that all but drowned out Imogen and Juliet. Welcome back to reality.

This Thanksgiving I’m most thankful that I can run and see and hear and experience God’s great creation, not from the sidelines, but from being smack in the middle.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to grab my shoes.

Whenever I’m alone, I sit and wonder precisely how you do what you do.  I wonder how you find such kindness within in a world so filled with anger and selfishness.

I wonder how I drew such incredible grace and inner beauty to me, for all of my flaws and failures.

I wonder when alone.  When you’re near, I waste no time in wondering.  I simply exist in a state of wonder itself, fascinated by you.  You’re a puzzle, an enigma of the best kind.  Somehow, you are mine, and I am bound to spend my days thanking you for it.

Day Seventy-Five:  Kind and Generous – Natalie Merchant

Is it coincidence that I am reading two books that center on the events of World War II (Last Lion by William Manchester and The Apple by Penelope Holt), I am watching a history channel program on World War II (a five-day series!) and Natalie Merchant in a BBC interview mentions the devastating effects the Holocaust had on a conscious objector sent to sketch the war? The convergence of these things are allowing me to open my eyes to a time I have avoided, skirted around, with great fear. Is it any wonder?

It wasn’t that I had a dislike for history. It wasn’t that I was bored to bedtime by the past. Not when it came to World War II. In my mind the Second Great War didn’t happen all that long ago. Practically yesterday in our young country’s history. As I child I fretted about bombs dropping over Monhegan. I worried constantly about war erupting on our soil. Even to this day, I nightmare about ominous black planes, flying in formation, on a mission to annihilate my island. They come so close I can see the hatred in the pilots’ eyes, their hands on the trigger, every one of them twitching to start the destruction. I have no idea where this deeply planted fear first germinated, but it is there.

While the words on the pages and the images on the television are still just as frightening and devastating as always I am facing the fear. Head on, eyes wide open I am looking my childhood demon in the face and staring the ugly truth down. It has been over 50 years since WW2 came to an end. Veterans of the war are dying away but those who still survive cling to their memories. They lived the war and survived it. I can learn from that. So, in a weird cycle of things I am nibbling on the history which, as a child, scared me so. The Nazis of my nightmares are being confronted and conquered. The wonder of it all.

Say you were a reclusive and enigmatic artist, currently on an extended career break and working on your first album for seven years.  Wouldn’t you want your comeback gig to be on a Monday night in the middle of nowhere, held where you can buy banana bread but not a beer, on a stage which bears more than a passing resemblance to a school assembly hall from the 1960’s?  Oh yes, you would.  Hurrah, for my long-lasting obsession was this evening fully justified.  Natalie’s new album is a series of poets of all sorts set to music – though as far as I can tell, all in 3/4 which did get a bit sing-songy for me.  Old stuff was amazing though.  She is more than a little bit mad, obviously.  But in a good way.  All songs acoustic, many with a cello.  Though she forgets the words.  A lot.  As in, could not remember any of Carnival.  I seriously was this close to storming the stage and screeching ‘I know them!  Let me sing with you!’  Except of course I am too cool (scared) for that.  And apparently there is going to be a tour!  So I can go again next year!  Yeah.  So Natalie makes it on to my list of “Top Ten Women I Most Want To Be (Living).”  Only eight places left, oh ye women of the world.  Who else deserves one?

I have mangled my typing finger on a can of chick peas.  What an incompetent bourgeois I am.

#185 – 10,000 Maniacs – “Because The Night (Live: Unplugged)” – (1993)

The Patti Smith version was pretty good (co-written by her and Bruce Springsteen back in ‘78), but when you take the punk element out of it and add Natalie Merchant and a super-smooth acoustic/orchestral band – you get a killer song and album (the last Maniacs album with Merchant on vocals). I also feel I should mention the song “These Are Days” from their 1992 album Our Time in Eden.

Sunday, driving back from visiting my best friend and her fiancé in Jacksonville, I pulled out some old mixed tapes I’d made years ago and listened to them in my car Very Loudly. One of those tapes consisted of music by women who appeared at the original Lilith Fair music festival and I thought about how I titled this blog “Lifeissweet16’s blog” for months until I finally figured out how to change it. That is also my e-mail address and remains the web address for this blog.

But it’s not self-explanatory, I guess. I’m sure most people wonder about the origin. So, here it is:

Life is Sweet by Natalie Merchant

It’s a pity
It’s a crying shame
Who pulled you down again?
How painful it must be
To bruise so easily
Inside
It’s a pity it’s a downright crime
It happens all the time
You wanna stay little daddy’s girl
You wanna hide from the viscous world…
Outside
But don’t cry
You know the tears will do no good
So dry your eyes
Your daddy he’s the iron man
Battle ship wrecked on dry land
Your mama she’s a bitter bride
She’ll never be satisfied
You know, and that’s not right
But don’t cry
You know the tears will do no good
So dry your eyes
They told you life is hard
Misery from the start, it’s dull
It’s slow, it’s painful
But I tell you life is sweet
In spite of the misery
There’s so much more, be grateful
Well, who do you believe
Who will you listen to, who will it be
Because it’s high time that you decide
In your own mind
I’ve tried to comfort you
I tried to tell you to be patient
That they are blind and they can’t see
Fortune gonna come one day
It’s all gonna fade away
Your daddy the war machine
And your mama the long and suffering
Prisoner of what she cannot see
For they told you life is hard
Misery from the start, it’s dull,
It’s slow, it’s painful
But I tell you life is sweet
In spite of the misery
There’s so much more, be grateful
So who will you believe
Who will you listen to
Who will it be
Because it’s high time that you decide
It’s time to make up your own
Your own state of mind
They told you life is long
Be thankful when it’s done
Don’t ask for more, be grateful
But I tell you life is short
Be thankful, because before you know it
It will be over
Because life is sweet
Life is all so very short
Life is sweet
And life is all so very short
Life is sweet
Life is sweet

Natalie Merchant

This is one of many songs that inspired me both in life and in my writing. I try to live out the words of this song, the philosophy behind it. I hope that I do as much as possible, although I know I don’t 100 percent of the time. No one can. I do feel, though, that life is indeed sweet and far too short. I’m not concerned with what comes after death because I enjoy living in this world far too much. There’s beauty everywhere. Just look around. Slow down, stop and smell the roses as much as you can.

I know it’s cliché to say this, but, really, what do you want to be remembered for? Working 80 hours a week and having a big house, fancy cars, $300 purses? Not me. Not ever. I want to be remembered for making the most of my time here, for loving my friends and family and enjoying all this precious planet has to offer.

And so, that is why Lifeissweet16.

The Natalie Merchant bit is spot-on.

Playing at the Grammy Museum…

Hope you are doing well. This is going to be a busy week. I’m heading out to Los Angeles to perform at a private screening of Coal Country at the Grammy Museum on Thursday. Diana Jones and Jack Clift will also be performing. It should be a fun evening!

Coal Country comes to Bloomington, Indiana…

After a quick couple of days in L.A., I’ll be heading home to play at the Coal Country screening and CD Release party at the Buskirk-Chumley Theater in Bloomington, Indiana on Sunday November 15th. For more info on how you can attend, go to their website: Buskirk-Chumley Theater.

And the rest of the U.S.A!

The Sierra Club is organizing screenings of Coal Country nationwide, to find out how to host or attend a screening, visit the Sierra Club online. If you aren’t familiar with the story behind this powerful film, please visit www.coalcountrythemovie.com to find out more.

The Coal Country Music CD

As you may know I helped put together the companion CD for Coal Country, and you’ll be able to get it soon. Among the artists joining me on the CD are Willie Nelson, Gillian Welch, John Prine, Bonnie Raitt, Jason and the Scorchers, Natalie Merchant, Tom T. Hall, Kathy Mattea, the Cedar Hill Refugess with Ralph Stanley,  and many more. It’s really a wonderful collection of music and all of the proceeds go to the Alliance for Appalachia to help in the fight to stop Mountain Top Removal. So please plan to pick up a copy for yourself and consider giving the CD as a holiday gift. You can pre-order both the Coal Country DVD and the Coal Country Music CD before the release date at Borders, Barnes and Noble, Best Buy, Amazon, and FYE.

John Prine Heads to Arizona

Later this month I’ll be heading out to Arizona with John Prine. We’re playing Phoenix, Tuscon, and Flagstaff. I hope you can join us. For more info visit: www.johnprine.net

Thank you for reading your WilberNews!

-Jason

#197 – Natalie Merchant – “Carnival” – (1995)

“Carnival” was the lead single from Tigerlily, the album that also produced two other hits – one more of which is on this list. Hint: it isn’t the imperceptibly more upbeat- but slightly less melodic “Jealousy.”

“Taylor Swift”

November 7th, 2009

There was one question on everyone’s mind when it comes to Taylor Swift’s hosting stint on Saturday Night Live: Kanye. It’s really the only thing of any note, and to be honest it’s probably the only reason that she was asked to host in the first place. There is no question that Swift is charming, and that her confidence behind the microphone is beyond her years, but she isn’t a comedienne. While she is the kind of musical artist who could easily be integrated into a single skit (or even two), she’s not the kind of artist who could go beyond the typical list of hosting gigs (playing a celebrity with vague resemblance, playing herself, etc.).

So, as such, what works about this week’s episode is when the show plays to Swift’s strengths, placing her behind a microphone or in settings which don’t have the pressure of live comedy. When the show asks her to do much more, the stilted cue card reading rears its head, and you realize that beneath the glossy exterior she really is a teenage girl with a beautiful voice but without acting training.

Which isn’t a huge problem if the show around her is even the least bit funny, but that’s asking a bit much of SNL these days.

There are some hosts who create legitimate characters, people who are allowed into sketches as their own individuals. However, you can tell when a host is largely being protected, like in The View sketch. There is nothing really funny about her portrayal of Kate Gosselin outside of the hairstyle, which isn’t much of a joke, and the lines Swift are given are forced and never really connect. Instead, the sketch becomes a grab bag of bad jokes, excuses for Thompson/Armisen to play women, and a chance to get in a “Nicholas Cage is poor” joke in the end. There is no activity in the sketch, no moving parts that could alter our expectations: we were given The View with Kate Gosselin and Nicholas Cage, and by golly that is what we were given.

Swift was better when she was given more material (like in the Penelope sketch, where the June character was more simple but still clearly different from Swift’s personality), or when she was allowed to be either far away from her comfort zone (like her crazy eyed Scared Straight Counsellor) or directly within it. Her monologue, which was the real danger zone in terms of a tired Kanye West joke, was charming because it let her have her guitar on stage, and it had her singing as opposed to reading. “Monologue Song (La La La)” was self-aware (acknowledging the former loves of her life along with her current rumoured one in Taylor Lautner), charming (both in the self-awareness and in the cute joke in the opening about staying up late at night to watch the show during the era of Bill Hader and Andy Samberg), and legitimately catchy (La La Laaaa). And when they got to the Kanye joke at the end, she delivered it with just the right balance of being above the event but also wanting to get in a dig at the fact that the joke was necessary in the first place. It was a sharply written piece to open the show, and was perhaps the episode’s (live) highlight.

Meanwhile, the episode’s other highlight (as per usual) wasn’t live at all. The Digital Short, “Firelight,” was only one joke, but like many Digital Shorts it separates itself by being entirely committed to that gag. The integration of Taylor Swift and Bill Hader (in Frankenstein monster getup) into Twilight was legitimately impressive, and as someone who just recently watched Twilight (it was on, I was bored) the way they took the various lines and only made them funny by changing vampires to Frankenstein monsters was clever. Swift was also really impressive here, really capturing the breathlessness of Bella and the false romanticism of many of the film’s lines. It was simple but well-executed parody, which is more than I’ve come to expect of SNL these days.

As for Swift in the rest of the show, playing herself was where she seemed most comfortable, but that sketch (Hollywood Dish) was largely Hader and Wiig overacting and Swift reacting, which seemed more comfortable for her. Similarly, the TRAAAPD sketch was a fine example of a scenario where she was more a narrator than an actress, although she got to play the physical reactions to the various gags as well. There was no moment where Swift made a bad SNL host, but there was also no point where she was able to fade into the cast other than in the “Firelight” Digital Short. There was just no point where it wasn’t Taylor Swift playing a part, and no point where she was able to exude the sort of confidence that makes her live performances so engaging (if not that close to the original recordings). She’s got enough energy to fit in with the comic setting (the final skit was silly and unfunny but she was totally game), but she’s not going to sustain the show on her own.

The rest of the show felt about as limp as SNL has been as of late. The opening sketch had some great line readings by Bill Hader and the clever mouth-shift (from left to right) from Kristen Wiig, the Swine Fever gag was overdone but clever enough, and Weekend Update had the always welcome return of Amy Poehler for “Really?! with Seth and Amy,” but nothing felt even close to fresh or relevant. Kristen Wiig is still able to sell Penelope (who always needs to out-do everyone), but the character has been played out to the point of actually frustrating me as opposed to not just not making me laugh. The one sketch that I thought was actually pretty clever was the “Scared Straight w/ Movie Plots” skit that at least had a fun concept even if the execution was a bit uneven (and got repetitive around Back to the Future). Plus, I won’t lie: it wasn’t a sketch, but “Bunny Business”‘ collection of musician parodies worked because of how perfect Kristen Wiig’s Natalie Merchant was and how a few (like Armisen, Hader, and Swift) gave it their all even if the impressions were uneven.

Overall, though, it’s just another episode of SNL: generally uneven, highlighted by a Digital Short, and failing to reverse the show’s continued irrelevance in a non-Election year. But yet, who can’t help but be warmed by how darn earnest Swift is when she talks about how this is the best week of her life? I can’t hate the show now. Thanks a lot, Taylor.

Cultural Observations

• Weekend update had a couple of good jokes (the opener about the Yankees and Bloomberg stimulating the economy by buying a World Series and an Election was clever), but it was dragged down by two legitimately terrible guests in Fred Armisen’s stupid headline guy and an awful Sarah McLachlan impression.
• I think my favourite thing about “Firelight” is how it actually makes sense: if you extended the parody out, you’d find a Doctor at the center of the family of monsters who is in some way different from the rest. So it was even more logical than it might have seemed at first (although I’m kind of ashamed to know enough to discern this).
• I know Swift was likely in heels, but she really does Tower over people – Andy Samberg looked really short by comparison.
• Speaking of Samberg, he had a busy night, playing straight man in two separate sketches and pulling the Nicholas Cage impression off.
• On a completely random aside, since it was brought up on Twitter that Swift sort of reminded them of Lauren Graham, considering that Graham is starring in Parenthood in the new year NBC’s synergy police would be smart to get her a hosting gig on SNL: irrelevant or not, I’d be watching.

Here’s the songs that are topping my playlist this week. As always, a couple of these will be used in the music round on Oct. 28. The link will take you to iTunes to hear a sample of the songs.

• Drinkin’ and Dailin’ – Darius Rucker
• Under the Bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Subterranean Homesick Blues – Bob Dylan
• The Dog Song – Nellie McKay
• Carnival – Natalie Merchant
• Dig In – Lenny Kravitz

I have been besotted with Natalie Merchant’s gorgeous voice for years.  Here is her latest, a duet with Brett Dennen called Heaven.  Lovely words and – well I really like it, maybe you will too!

Follow the typical signs, the hand-painted lines, down prairie roads.
Pass the lone church spire.
Pass the talking wire from where to who knows?
There’s no way to divide the beauty of the sky from the wild western plains.
Where a man could drift, in legendary myth, by roaming over spaces.
The land was free and the price was right.
      ~ from Gold Rush Brides by 10,000 Maniacs

The bike ride south of Race Street takes you directly to Meadowbrook Park, which has preserved 60 acres of native Illinois prairie, now all but mowed down and turned into the endless soybean and corn fields of the Midwest. But here, in this oasis of tall grass, turned golden in the dessicated air, one can still get a sense of the “legendary myth of the wild western plains” that Natalie Merchant evoked in the album Out of Eden. This tenacious enclave of rural land serves as an interesting space for the modernist sculptures that are displayed along its pathways. The ample size of the pieces are dwarfed nonetheless by the vast openness of the terrain. The pastoral setting ostensibly serves as counterpoint to the curated artifice, but is itself ironically, ultimately, also contrived. There is a heightened nostalgia for pure, unadulterated Nature by the presence of decadent bourgeois art in this patch of prairie preserve.

Cathedral window with a halo or a crown of thorns. Pat McDonald Open 2006

Brontosaurus feeding on primeval flora. Michael Dunbar Niantic 2002

This same artist did Slow and Steady at the Urbana Free Library. Todd Frahm El-Ahrirah 2000

Naked WASP woman of the prairie. The turquoise-green of oxidized bronze looks stunning against the gold of dry grass. Peter Fagan Marker 1998

One of my favorites, these Jazz Age totem poles and talismans. Love the cocked derby hat! D. Bill Folk Art 1997-1998

Surrealist creature. Ed Haddaway From Night Daddy’s Book of Dream 2001

One of the more comical pieces. Love the red and the hammer heads. Ed Benavente Minimal Response III 1999

Fun with Keith Haring iconography. Peter W. Michel Fathers & Sons 1999

A piece difficult to photograph. It was in a shady corner at the foot of a walk bridge, looking suspiciously scatological. Cecilia Allen and Roger Blakley Southern Passage 1998

The piece that most looked like it belonged there. Michele Goldstron Here and There 2000

The sheen of steel, the precision of lines, contrast with its organic environs. Ron Gard Position #1 2006

Another difficult piece to photograph. I like the reference to the sea in the title, the barnacled texture of the phallic head, the finned tail. Cecilia Allen Prairie Buoy 2001

Looks very solid and geometrically precise, this fluke. Carl Billingsley Fluke 1998

These wings, the title implies, look earthbound and organic. Endlessly photographable with its late afternoon shadow. Alissa Negila Swift 2001

Perhaps it is my being a chemist that makes me blasé about this piece–or that it is really sophomoric, obvious, and dull. Nothing wrong with science inspiring art, done properly. I do like the more inspired ribosomal subunits in glow-in-the-dark colors at the Institute for Genomic Biology (IGB). Christiane T. Martens Molecular Reflection 1997

If Transformer robots were made of concrete… Derick Malkemus Striker 1998

Looks like a blow-up of some kitsch decor in a 70’s Miami bungalow. ‘Nuff said. Larry Young Tango 1997

The perfectly smooth sphere, and the prairie background, saves this piece from being an ordinary pile of concrete rubble. William Carlson Balencia 1999

Now this is a pile of rubble. Barry Tinsley Hamilton 2002

Another comical piece. Its levity is counterbalanced by the chunkyness of the metal. John Adduci Yikes 2000

Related Links:

• Wandell Sculpture Garden at International Sculpture Center
• Complete slideshow of photos at my Flickr website

This years YWCA Woman to Woman event was a huge success!  Last year I was on the Hospitality Committee so I helped with the display and centerpieces of all the tables for our guests, but this year I was able to take a place on the Production Committee.  That was truly a great experience because I got to have a hand in developing the actual content of the show… which led to me have a part in it as well!

I volunteered to sing for the program for the music being played behind the videos.  These videos show the guests what the YWCA is all about and how we are benefiting the community and helping families, while eliminating racism and empowering women.  Please visit our website to learn more or become a fan on Facebook.  I hope you enjoy my performance!  I have posted the video of the second song I performed: Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant.

First headline show in over 7 years announced for November

In addition to her upcoming appearance at the opening gala of this year’s London Jazz Festival on November 13th, Natalie Merchant will play her first headline performance in the UK in a very long time at Conway Hall in Holborn, London. The November 16th event, dubbed ‘An Evening With Natalie Merchant’, will showcase some of the songs from Natalie’s forthcoming album – her first for Nonesuch Records – as well as selections from her 28-year musical career. Tickets are priced at £25 plus booking fee and are on sale now through LiveNation.co.uk. If you can’t make that show, then clear your schedule in plenty of time for next year’s Celtic Connections festival as Natalie will appear at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall with Irish band Lúnasa on January 28th as part of the impressive lineup, which also includes Laura Veirs, The Swell Season, Angelique Kidjo, Nell Bryden and more.

Among the events are a Nick Drake tribute featuring Vashti Bunyan, Teddy Thompson, Robyn Hitchcock and Krystle Warren, and a celebration of the 40th birthday of Rounder Records, starring Alecia Nugent and more. Visit celticconnections.com for more details.

Alan Pedder

When I first starting dating the husband, he used to play “Tigerlily” all the time.  His sister had given it to him, I think when he had gone to college.  He didn’t have much music that girls might like to listen to (he takes his angst with full on electric guitars and possibly suicidal lead singers.)  He thought this would be suitable and not scare the chicks off.  And it worked.

I was like “who IS this???” ‘Carnival’ still has one of the best basslines I’ve ever heard.  ‘Seven Years’ is truly amazing (I think its about how her relationship with Michael Stipe didn’t work out, but probably some fellow obsessive can correct me).  And I’m not ashamed to admit (well, I guess I am, a bit, but surely blogging is the place for your shameful admissions?) that I may have cried a bit when feeling down and listening to ‘Beloved Wife’.  I bet I’m not the only one.

So the Husband, obviously seeing that he was on to a good thing, got out ‘Ophelia’.  I also thought this was cool, though not as good as ‘Tigerlily.’  Ophelia itself is a cracking song, fantastic lyrics.  At this point, when I began daydreaming about which Natalie Merchant song I would cover if I ever became a proper singer, it was clear that I was developing a full-on girl crush.

Then I bought her folk music album ‘The House Carpenters Daughter.’  I seem to remember this album being on a lot the first time I met the Husband’s sister – which was nice, as really she is the unwitting instigator of this emerging obsession.  We had it on in the background in Barcelona and playing cards in the Husband’s kitchen.  ‘Sally Ann’ is a really beautiful story – only got two chords though, so sounds a bit rubbish on the guitar.  “Which Side Are You On’ is also awesome and makes you want to be a 1930’s revolutionary.  I think I was training for a race at this point, and downloaded the only two upbeat tracks onto my running playlist.  This didn’t work, don’t bother.  If you are going to love Natalie, you have to accept that she is going to be a better accompaniment for your sad moods, not your happy ones.

I also really enjoyed ‘Motherland’ even though by now she has pretty much dropped an octave and it’s hard for me to sing along to.  Also I remember telling one of my friends who was having a bad time that she should listen to ‘Just Can’t Last.’  And she did, and said, “Are you saying I’m like a beast of burden?” and that was a hard question to answer….

Well, so now here’s where the Natalie fixation gets to a whole other level.  Because of course, this is not just a woman with a prolific solo career, she had this whole other life in 10, 000 Maniacs.  And man, that is some good listening.  Lead singer of highly successful band at 17!  Joan Baez of the 1980’s!  Takes a year out of her life to go and teach art to under privileged teenagers!  Writes pop songs – pop songs! – about such unlikely subjects as nuclear war, teenage pregnancy, and water being poisoned!  ‘The Wishing Chair’ is one of my all time top albums to listen to while writing and has seen me through a whole lot of speeches.  Apparently, the real and cool 10 000 maniacs fans do not like ‘Our Time in Eden’. But I think it is lovely.  On the other hand, I am not such a fan of the really political albums like ‘Blind Man’s Zoo’.  ‘Campfire Songs’ is awesome, though I’ve never been able to figure out what she is singing on ‘Poppy Selling Man’.

So you get it, right?  I love Natalie Merchant.  And the fact that she now lives in semi-retirement in Spain has been sad for me for some time, as the new output does not really match my need for it.  I was ‘meh’ about the Greatest Hits.  Heard it before, and better, on the original albums.  Except for I do sing ‘Come take a trip in my airship’ to my small nieces when I was trying to make them go to sleep.

But there I am, browsing my weekly ticketmaster email and what do I see?  Surely….No…..it can’t be…….she’s playing a concert?  In London????????????  BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY!  16th November 2009 is going to be a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No pressure though, Natalie.

Here’s a collection of incomplete thoughts, because I’m not in the mood to say more…

• I feel sad
• I like ‘Glee’ a lot– even the unrealistic-ness of it all.  I don’t, however, like the conflict and the unfairness and the war between Sue and Mr. Schuester.  I understand that’s what is supposed to make shows interesting, but conflict like that makes me uneasy.
• I have a coworker who is going through a divorce.  It is all he ever talks about.  If anyone tries to talk about anything else, he steers the conversation back to his divorce.
• My wife is sick and needs me. She is vulnerable and easily saddened and misses me when I’m at work.  It feels really good to be needed and appreciated.
• Yesterday in therapy we talked about my wife and her inability to give me things that I need.  I was delivered a striking blow– that it’s likely that she is somehow developmentally lacking certain cognitive functions. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, but am not ready to talk about it quite yet.
• I’m listening to ‘My Skin’ by Natalie Merchant.  For some reason, it sounds like the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard. Sometimes songs just touch me like that.
• I’ve been wanting to binge-eat all fucking day.  I have to keep reminding myself that it won’t make me any happier.
• I started my homework.  It made me want to cry. I didn’t get as far as I would have liked. I’m taking a break until tomorrow.
• Today a coworker left to pick up a friend at the airport.  The two of them are going up to the mountains of New Hampshire to spend the weekend drinking wine and pumpkin beer and hanging out.  It sounds absolutely heavenly.  I could use a good fun carefree weekend with a friend or two. It sounds cozy and cozy sounds good.  I’m really cold.  The weather took a sudden turn in the past few days.  It’s startling for my unadjusted body.
• I fear I won’t lose weight this week. I have stayed relatively on weight watchers but haven’t made the best choices.  Today I had 2 mini cinnamon buns at lunch and a pumpkin whoopie pie after dinner.  Neither were very good.  Waste of calories.
• I’m dying to pour my guts out to someone who will just fucking hold me. Where is that person? And would I notice them if they appeared? And would I be able to do it? I feel so guilty talking about myself. My wife listens but doesn’t know how to respond appropriately. I know she cares and loves me. I know…
• The apartment is a mess but I don’t have the energy/feel like doing anything about it.
• My cousin’s wife posted something on facebook about today being dead infant’s day or something, and how she lit a candle. A friend asked her if her baby had a name. Apparently it didn’t, and she didn’t even know the sex. I didn’t even know she had been pregnant at some point. This makes me angry and sad– I fucking hate the way my family works. I crave closeness so badly and have no idea how to get it. I am too tired to even want to to scream or cry.  Tired in an emotional way, I think.

I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet
Love of my life
O, I need this

(“Spangled Blengins, Boy King Islands. One is a Young Tuskerhorian, the Other a Human Headed Dortherean”
Collage, Carbon Tracing, Pencil and Watercolor by Henry Darger)

“Art, by its very essence, is of the new, we expect art to uproot us, to unhinge doors. When the pompous platforms of Culture are erected, and awards and laurels come raining down, then flee as fast as you can, there’ll be little hope for art. If art did exist here, it’s already gone by now, it hurried off for a change of air. It’s allergic to the air of collective approval.”

- Henry Darger

In 1972, the art critic Roger Cardinal brought forth into the culture a new, working English descriptor synonymous for Jean Dubuffet’s “art brut” (raw art or rough art) in his book, “Cultural Conditioning”. The new coinage became “outsider art” and would henceforth yoke the necks of untrained and self-trained artists alike as a wretched, dead, stinking albatross to be cheerfully lugged up mountainside while pushing a boulder. Such Sisyphean toil serves only as a crippling stigma to the artist who deserves to be treated as a brother or a sister in the community despite their lack of academic/aesthetic programming. This only benefits the so-called “Creative Class” who were already born into considerable wealth and monied tourists to throw their pennies at the freak show and laugh. It was no mistake that Dubuffet focused his art brut attentions on insane asylum patients. Dubuffet was the son of a well-to-do wine merchant and received his early studies at the prestigious yet revolutionary Académie Julian in Paris. As much as Dubuffet was a great champion of a more primitive, yeomanlike approach in his own work, he was afforded a certain position at the social expense of non-academic artists.

More to the point: if one artist is an outsider, then, we are all a bunch of outsiders. Welcome to the club.

(“Still a sorry saint…” One of only three known photos of Henry Darger, possibly the last. Late 1960’s, early 1970’s. Lincoln Park neighborhood. Chicago, Illinois.)

The exact month and day have been debated for years, but according to all reports, Henry Joseph Darger, Jr. was born in Chicago, Illinois on April 12th, 1892. On June 2nd, 1917, toward the end of World War I, Darger filled out a draft registration card for the U.S. Army. He listed his birth date as April 17th, 1892. From the time he was a young boy until he was aged seventy-nine years, he exhaustively amassed the great vernacular fantasy work, “The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion”. At 15,145 pages, he collected volumes of his writings by re-using old telephone books which also displayed hundreds of his delicate illustrations depicting his asexual girl-boy warriors, The Vivian Girls. Henry Darger died the day after his eighty-first birthday on April 13th, 1973. His landlords, Nathan and Kiyoko Lerner came across Darger’s monumental work moments before his death. Nathan Lerner, himself, was a professional photographer whose images appeared in The New York Times for many years. Immediately seeing the profound depth of artistic merit in his volumes, the Lerners took charge of Henry Darger’s estate. Nathan Lerner died in 1997, making his widow, Kiyoko Lerner, solely in charge of both estates. The Artists Rights Society is the United States copyright representative for both Henry Darger and Nathan Lerner.

(“At Jennie Richee – Vivian Girls Are Sent By General (Emperor) Vivian Their Father To Seize A Certain Enemy Plan” Carbon Tracing, Pencil and Watercolor by Henry Darger)

To give an encapsulated overview of the life and work of Henry Darger would extend beyond a couple thousand words, and I don’t want to wear you out with my spin on all what has already been said in tribute songs by Sufjan Stevens and Natalie Merchant, a well-researched article on Wikipedia, and the extremely fine 2004 documentary, “In the Realms of the Unreal” by Jessica Yu. Nor will I bother to speculate on the layers of his eccentricity and mental illness. Preferably, I wish to give my interpretation of how his art effects me, and as I opined in the beginning, what an abomination of a title “outsider art” is in describing the work of poor, dormant geniuses.

During his lifetime, Darger, who worked as a low-paid hospital janitor for sixty-plus years had his manic obsessions. He combined his devout Catholicism with his defending love of children, Christianity, and The Civil War. For Darger, his novel was a true labor of love. He did it for only himself, though in the narrative, he leads the observer to believe that he was a protector of these children who were very real to him. Essentially, The Vivian Girls were his friends. Darger had no desire for financial gain from the adventures of these characters.

Henry Darger imbued his child warriors with what he perceived to be the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. It’s very effective, for the “girls” seem to levitate off the page, to float entirely on their own. They individually appeared to be capable of all that was miraculous… and were pretty handy with bow and arrow in mortal combat. I leave you here, my friends. Something to think about.

A few years ago I bought a book called The Devil Never Sleeps authored by Romanian ex-patriot Andrei Codrescu.  I had listened to Codrescu for years on NPR, and I was interested in reading his essays (which, by the way, did not disappoint).  As I read his observations about Romania and Eastern Europe under Soviet control, I was struck by his adoration of and faith in poetry.  It’s no exaggeration to say, from Codrescu’s viewpoint, poetry was the source of hope to those who suffered decades of communist despotism as well as a subversive force undermining the monolithic govern

He made such a compelling argument for the purpose, power and necessity of poetry, I had to stop and ask myself what ever happened to poetry.  I loved poetry as a young person and even continued to write poetry as an adult.  Of course, half of being a poet is relishing the poetry of others—and I couldn’t remember the last time I read a volume of verse.

[So I’m giving in to temptation here; this is a poem I wrote when I was sixteen after moving back to my hometown following an absence of four years; do you have adolescent poems you’re still willing to share?

“All The Animals”

I left something here,
            a childhood memory, a melody,
            a bit of soul chipped from the tenderest part.
I thought it was refound
            but something different,
            something animal,
            was in it’s place.
So it does no go to come home
            to all the animals,
            the souls of my childhood changed.]

For a while, I had a sad, empty feeling when I thought that I had “lost” poetry.  Moreover, I had the sinking feeling that as a people, our culture had lost poetry as well.  Where was the Edna St. Vincent Millay, Walt Whitman or Robert Frost of this age? 

Then one day I was driving down the road listening to Bruce Springsteen and the “aha moment” burst upon me: I haven’t lost poetry; as a people we have not lost poetry—we just set it to music.  I hereby predict that coming generations will “read” the songs of our greatest songsmiths and judge them more as writers than musicians.  Annie Lennox, Sheryl Crow, John Prine, Jackson Browne, Michael Stipe, Natalie Merchant, as well as hosts of R&B and hip-hop artists will be required reading for our great-grandchildren fifty years hence.

This great realization made me reflect back over the songs I’ve written over the years (yes, acoustic guitar and harmonica; but nothing to brag about).  Some of mine, I’m afraid, will not rise to the level of literature (“Harmless While I’m Sober” comes to mind).  But some others—recent as well as distant—may actually be worth reading in coming ages.  Herewith, a song of unrhymed verses I wrote in the early 70’s while I was a college student.  It is like poetry, sort of.  —Lazarus Barnhill, author of The Medicine People and Lacey Took a Holiday.

“Early in the Sun”

Now I know that in reality fire is pretty frightening, and I don’t take the current fire warnings lightly, but for songwriters, flames represent love, dancing and, above all, passion. And that just can’t be a bad thing.  

In reggae and punk, however, fire has a moral – almost purging – quality to it. Recorded as riots swept Britain in 1979, the Ruts incredibly tense BABYLON’S BURNING foresees the demise of western civilisation. Extra points, too, for starting the song with a fire alarm and siren. Excellent. 

DISCO INFERNO from the Trammps, would normally be a scary newspaper headline but when you’re grooving away to very this funky track, you know that it’s more about burning up the dance floor, rather than burning down the building. Here’s a clip from the song that is probably best remembered from the film Saturday Night Fever :

The Pointer Sisters know all about passion. Cause when they kiss, its oooooh FIRE. Dido, on the other hand is way more restrained in her rendition of FEELS LIKE FIRE, her contribution to Carlos Santana’s album Shaman. This is a very interesting album and worth a listen with its mix of hip-hop, rap and pop artists.

Last week in our Covers show, Patricia Barber did a great version of the Doors’ LIGHT MY FIRE. I wasn’t beyond playing the tune again, as it suits the theme, but this time it was the very sexy version by the beautiful Julie London.  In complete contrast, M.I.A. came out fighting with FIRE, FIRE as she reckons relationships are more like a battlefield. Fair enough. 

Country fans weren’t ignored. First it was a classic from Johnny Cash – RING OF FIRE - that I teamed with BABY I’M BURNIN’ from the wonderful Dolly Parton. To round out the set, who else but, Bruce Springsteen burning up the airwaves with I’M ON FIRE. 

Time: 1983. Place: Any Disco in Town. Talking Heads creepy dance track, BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE, was inspired by the crowd at a Funkadelic concert shouting ‘Burn Down the House’ but David Byrnes’ penetrating delivery suggests that he may have taken it way too literally. At the same time Madonna was emerging as the next big thing and she exhibits the combination of erotic heat and disco fever that would keep her in good stead for the rest of her career. The song, of course, was BURNING UP. Here’s a clip of Talking Heads with BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE, a great example of art-school punks of the 80’s.

In a show about FIRE we can’t leave out Deep Purple’s SMOKE ON THE WATER. So, we didn’t. Here’s a clip of the original Mark II lineup in New York, 1973. One of the final performances, this is one of the only videos of the band performing it in the 70’s with Ian Gillan and Roger Glover. 

The second hour of the show was suitably launched with the Lord of Hellfire himself, Arthur Brown with FIRE. That was followed by Brian Eno’s strange little song, BABY’S ON FIRE. It started Eno’s post-Roxy Music solo career and owes as much to Robert Fripp’s guitar solo as it does to Eno’s sinister vocals. Then it was time for some lovin’ music and Teddy Pendergrass & Stephanie Mills were definitely burning with desire with their song FEEL THE FIRE. 

Last week on our Covers show I played some Elvis, (Presley that is, not Costello), and Mel from BayFM’s Rollin’ program told me that she was sorry that we didn’t hear more of the King on local radio, so who am I disappoint the gorgeous Mel, especially when it fits so beautifully with this week’s theme? So it was one of Elvis’ best: BURNING LOVE. 

Here’s a great triple play: Jimi Hendrix with FIRE, Prodigy with their first UK number one single, the controversial FIRESTARTER and then it was the Stones with PLAY WITH FIRE. This track was the B side to ‘The Last Time’. Released in 1965, it was recorded the night before they left to tour Australia. The video for this track is quite pedestrian, so I’d rather show you something wild – and so, the Prodigy’s official video for FIRESTARTER it is. Enjoy.

There was still time for Nirvana’s LAKE OF FIRE and Natalie Merchant’s THIS HOUSE IS ON FIRE. I really liked the combination in this set. And then it was time to finish up with Aussie made good Daniel Merriweather supported by Adele, with WATER AND FLAME. The final song was a guilty pleasure (as if I didn’t include enough of them already!) – a song that I probably should have included in the program on FAMOUS PEOPLE – Billy Joel’s WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE. Check it out and you’ll understand why:

Here’s the complete playlist:

and this one is for you.