Does your entry way floor look like this tonight?

Are your coat hooks filled like this?

Do your stairs resemble this?

In our case, yes, yes, and yes!

Snow day!

A lot of snow, snow day.

On top of our couple of inches from Sunday is piled a good 24 hours worth of constant snow.

Negatives:  3x worth of shoveling the driveway and it’s already recovered in new snow.

Positives:  snow globe snow through the window, a very excited 3 year old, realizing how beautiful my daughter is with snowflakes stuck to the tips of her eyelashes

It was a fun time.  We even pulled out the toboggan and tried it on a couple of close by hills.  We’re still searching for the right spot to use it though.

At this point work doesn’t open for Brad until 1 tomorrow, so we’re looking forward to more of the same tomorrow.

Two quick questions:

1)  Ginny, why on earth was I able to find snow pants in Camryn’s clothing bins?  Seriously, she got snow pants for the one 3 inch snow Arkansas probably had?    In all seriousness though – THANK YOU!!!!

2)  Santa, could you bring me a snow blower a few weeks early for my Christmas present?  It can be used, I’m good with that.  Just one that works, please and thank you!

we’re full of creativity in my family.

each year our wonderful grammy gets a calendar with pictures of all of our kids.

same gift each year.

this year i was deemed the one to put it together.

i started planning.  1 month of each of the 6 great grandchildren we have provided sweet grammy, 1 month for each of the three sibling pairs, and 3 months of different kid combos.  woohoo!  calendar planned.

over the weekend, my sister and sister-in-law uploaded their pictures.  11 of 12 months were done.

my most recent successful picture of my kids for a sibling duo picture though was 2 months old and got used on our christmas card.  i decided i should try to get a new one.  for any of you with two (and possibly more) kids you know where this is headed, and you’re laughing at me for even trying.

there were tears, gigantic sighs of frustration, a few shouts, bribes, repositionings – basicially everything short of tying them down and painting on pretty smiles.

why.

why do i fool myself into thinking i can get that perfect sibling shot this time around?

{i’m outta here in a blur.  mom, you’re crazy if you think i’m going to lie still next to him}

{mom, do puppy dog eyes get me out of sitting here?}

{dejected}

one shot was salvageable enough to throw in the november slot.  time to hit the order button and get things moving.

• Jennie Garth (Kelly, Beverly Hills 90210) and husband Peter Facinelli are on the cover of PEOPLE’s special holiday extra edition. PEOPLE.com has a video from the photo shoot.
• Tori Spelling (Donna, Beverly Hills 90210) and mom Candy Spelling have reportedly reconciled.
• Luke Perry (Dylan, Beverly Hills 90210) is featured in a new video for The Killers. Interestingly enough (but I’m sure not purposefully), it somewhat echoes the season 5 episode where Dylan revisits his past lives.
• Perry, Jason Priestley (Brandon, Beverly Hills 90210), Chace Crawford (Nate, Gossip Girl), Chad Michael Murray (Lucas, One Tree Hill), Joshua Jackson (Pacey, Dawson’s Creek) and Benjamin McKenzie (Ryan, The O.C.) made AOL’s list of the Top 50 Teen Idols. Perry ranks the best at number 7, while CMM is at 13, Crawford came in at 17 with Priestley right after at 18 and Jackson sits at number 20 while McKenzie is at 31. Also on the list is John Schneider who recently played Liam’s step-dad on 90210.
• Ryan Eggold (Ryan, 90210) is included in PEOPLE.com’s Sexy at Every Age photo gallery.
• AnnaLynne McCord (Naomi, 90210) was on The Tonight Show last week and Jessica Stroup (Silver, 90210) was on Rachael Ray.
• Greg Vaughan (Cliff, Beverly Hills 90210) tweeted that he’s filmed 3 episodes for his appearance on the new 90210.
• If you missed Blake Lively (Serena, Gossip Girl) on SNL last week, here are some of the promos and recaps: EW.com, EW.com again and Zap2it.
• Zap2it has a photo gallery called “The Quotable Blair Waldorf,” which feature quotes and photos from season 3.
• OTHPodcast.com has been revamped.
• There’s photos on Facebook of James Laffety (Nathan, One Tree Hill) and Robert Buckley (Clay, One Tree Hill) in character for The Legend of Hell’s Gate: An Ameican Conspiracy.
• If you live near New York City, Kate Voegele (Mia, One Tree Hill) will be at the lighting of the NYSE Christmas tree this Thursday.

there’s been some major dancing going on around here.

thank you christmas music.

we’re having a great time!

Just a few weeks remain of 2009, a year that’s brought me to my knees with pain, fear and ecstasy.  I’m ready, eager to jump off into the unknown that will be 2010, eager to see where the maelstrom will drop me off, and eager to see how long the ride might last.

A little over a year ago I asked my husband for a divorce, and he refused me.  At the time I couldn’t conceive of myself as being powerful enough to pursue it on my own, so nothing came of it, except that that moment silently triggered an internal unraveling that even I couldn’t sense at the time – a movement away from him and towards myself.  Not long after that I met Kyle, glowing like the Fates had lit him up with celestial spotlights.  I was immediately drawn to him, but I had no idea how important he would become to me – my lover, my teacher, my support and my best friend through the difficult year to come.

It’s a hard thing to wrap my head around how I let myself arrive at the place I was a year ago.  I firmly believe that no one makes the wrong choice, that we each make the best choice we can with the knowledge and strength that we have, but I certainly would have made different choices if I knew then what I know now.  Because I believed I wasn’t ever good enough, I learned to believe I was always wrong, and that kept me from fighting against the circumstances of my life.  As Kyle and I grew closer, he gently led me toward a different perspective, toward finding my internal truths and fighting the rule of anger that had kept me small and powerless.  I would love to say I did it myself, or even that I ran towards strength, but that’s not the case.  I cowered, I cried, I fought to stay in denial, and Kyle stayed with me through the darkest nights.  More voices joined, as Val, Jesse, Nate and M all tried to help me through my fears and ignorance.

What can I say for myself?  I believed I couldn’t be right, and, in that, I was wrong.

I can see now that an overabundance of humility did not serve me.  Believing other people over my own internal voices was a crime I committed against myself and my family.  Bending to be the good girl broke me completely.

But there are no monsters in this story, no villains, just two people who were incapable of seeing the truth.  My husband struggled with anger, jealousy, fear, and arrogance, but he was always so much more than just that.  He’s also a loving, giving man who loves his children and wants to do the right thing.  That we allowed ourselves to lose track of what that was is a mistake we will not make again, but, no matter what we do now, we can’t change the past.  The reality of what he did has hit him like a sucker punch as he sees that he may have lost the love of his life to his blindness.

Last month I found my strength and insisted, after many failed attempts, that he move out.  It was heart-wrenching for me, but, with a lot of help, I stood, if not strong, then at least still.  Although he’s technically living somewhere else, he still meets us at school in the mornings, and attends scout meetings and family gatherings.  There are occasional sleepovers, but our sex life died out over the summer as I let go of the last of my hopes for us.

That I had to let go completely before he could see what he had done will haunt me for the rest of my life.  That he couldn’t hear me beg him to change until I stopped asking…that will forever haunt us both.

I hope that we can forge a friendship, a partnership, and perhaps, in the future, even more.  I hope that my children will forgive me someday for what I’ve done, for disrupting their lives now, and for not having done it sooner.

As for me, I’m not just stronger, I’m becoming a completely different person.  A long time ago I put half of myself away because a group of people said I wasn’t gay enough to belong to the secret club.  It’s an ironic truth that the straight world, with it’s ignorance of anyone outside the box, easily accepts me as straight, but I’ve been told, time and time again, that I wasn’t queer enough to play with the rainbow kids.  But I can’t just live half my life…and Kyle has been joyfully reacquainting me with my other half.  I’m feeling more myself than I’ve felt in 20 years.  It doesn’t take a degree in psychology to look at the year I’ve had and recognize the ripples that pass through my sex life.  Lately I’ve found myself more attracted to women, distancing myself somewhat from men…but I know that will ebb and flow as I pass through and overcome the storms I’m facing now.

It’s hard to explain, but denial really does keep you safe in many ways.  But the pain, the regrets, the fears and the darkness doesn’t pass over – it waits.  And so, now, I’m working through decades of accumulated pain debt…and my emotions feel like they’ve been stretched over the rack.  There are days I cry for hours…and days when I feel better and hope to god it’s done.  I haven’t felt much anger, just terrible sadness for the tragedy that was unavoidable, the future that won’t come to pass, the uncertainty I’m feeling now, and the agony of growing a new spine as it passes right through flesh and bone.

I still love him, and I always will, and I am impressed with the steps he’s taken to begin to make things right.  I love Kyle and owe him more than I could ever express for staying with me through everything.  I am so thankful for friends and the notes of hope and support.  I’m not accustomed to feeling so out of control, but I am so lucky to have so many voices helping me find my way.  Thank you to everyone who has posted support here.  There were countless times when words on the screen were my only night light as I struggled against my demons in the darkness.

There are good days and bad days…with plenty to keep me busy, but not distracted.  I’ve become much more appreciative of the good moments, when I forget everything but the now, and much more careful to express my love as often as I can.

I’ve been listening to Secure Yourself by the Indigo Girls today and it’s resonated with what I’m facing – not the end of life, but the end of life as I’ve known it.  The night has come for me, I’m holding tight, and just waiting, hopefully, for morning.

She probably won’t whistle if I
stay here looking up,
the glare in my left eye
making one large castle that bumps
the forest over the lumps
of dirt and stone. The quicker birds spill
into shady pools below the window sill.

they’re in the process of redoing the main corridor at kok.  i’ve found it hard to not see the new furniture and wall colors as a great opportunity for some new photo spots.  jilly  had on a perfect shirt to coordinate with the colors today.  unfortunately, she’s obsessed with wearing her winter coat.  (she’ll wear it for hours around the house even though it totally frustrates her playing.)  she was not too happy about having it taken off just so mom could take pictures.  we’ll try again another time though.  the colors are just too good to pass up.

although the colors were what i was after, i though this one was begging to be black and white.  ugh. what i wouldn’t give to find photoshop elements under the tree this christmas.

after the failed pictures in the hall, we headed down to watch nate’s preschool class sing “jesus loves me” at preschool chapel.  i learned quickly i should not try to wield both the camera and video camera at the same time.  oh well.  i can just consider it practice before his preschool christmas program next week.

i just have to lick the envelopes and the first batch of our christmas cards are ready to be dropped in the mail!!

So I figured that it was time to get some girls names tattooed on me. I had put it off for long enough! I decided to go from oldest to youngest starting with Ramsey!!

Don’t hate on my bad tattoo pictures. I am forced to take them myself cause Samantha is worse then me at taking any kind of picture. I decided to do all the girls as some kind of cupie doll. Nate did this tattoo out at Funhouse Tattoo in Arlington, Texas. Nate is a super rad dude that everyone should meet before he becomes a professional bowler. Lets go bowling soon, Nate!!!!!!

black and blue.

my son is black and blue today.  no.  not with bruises, but with his choice of clothing.  i let him pick out his shirt one day, and now he wants full control of the dressing.  i’m trying to do what the books say and let me express himself, but don’t i owe it to him to let him know that a blue shirt does not go with black jeans?  especially when we have to go out in public tonight to see people i know. . .

anyone else enjoy the hunt for the perfect paper?  i love it!  i got two of these last year and the other last week.  the worst though is not using it all and having to look at it again next year.  it’s fun to do something different each year though.  what’s your paper preference?

and has anyone seen big blank?  jilly’s big pink blanket.  the one she had at morning nap which has gone missing since then.  one of the smaller versions worked out to use at nap, but eventually she’s going to want the favorite big one.  the one that drags on the floor behind her everywhere she goes.  let me know if you see it.

Lainey: Aw… Chace [Crawford] was so cute there pretending to crush on a girl.

about Chace Crawford reprising his role of Gossip Girl’s heartthrob Nate Archibald in episode 11 of season 3 where his character is in love with Serena van der Woodsen and opens up to her about his feelings. pretty intense and quite genuine!

Nate is a 20 year old who goes to college in New York, where he chairs a philosophy club.  Like most 20 year olds, he has a lot to learn (the world hasn’t had it’s way with him yet), but he has a confidence and intellect which will serve him well once its been tempered by experience.  He helps me understand his generation.  I like him. 

they tried…
just finished GG’s 3rd season’s 11th (the latest) episode. the acting is bad (but, thankfully, not as painful as in Twilight) but sometimes it got pretty authentic! Eric, Nate and Vanessa’s mother (well, the *actors* delivering those characters) get their ‘A’s from me, good job! the Thanksgiving table drama gets an A as well. thank you, GG writers. but still a lot to do to at least come back to the high level of the first season. but we can see the hope from here.

Nate finally works the show. Use that dude more often, he is hot and he seems to be able to act at times, no less. Go, Archibald!

Let her hair down, watching her face for so long... watching her lips trying to articulate smth and failing... this is just too painful.... no, Twilight is too painful... but that is a handful as well. Dear GG writers, go, go, go! I know you can! YES you CAN! it's not that we hate you just for the sake of it, we just want the first season Gossip Girl rush back!!! we'll love you the moment you astounish us out of our LBDs!!! xxx

Festa com foto é sempre mais legal. As da última Balada Mixta ficaram incríveis (pra quem não viu, clica aqui). O povo surta, e o resto fica se batendo de ódio de não ter estado lá. E deve ter muito mais foto legal da Balada Mixta por aí, porque eu vi várias pessoas com câmera lá. Que tal todo mundo deixar os links dos álbuns aqui nos comentários?

Na próxima (a penúltima do ano) só vai ser fotografado quem estiver com “fantasia” da inspiração da festa. Calma. Os musos são lindos e não vai ser difícil entrar no clima porque a próxima edição da Balada Mixta é GOSSIP GIRL Edition!!

Aí, pra facilitar, eu resolvi pinçar algumas coisas do estilo de alguns dos personagens principais pra todo mundo se inspirar. Lá vai:

pras meninas (e pras montadas):

Blair – tá sempre com tiaras e broches fofos, então minha dica pras morenas é caprichar nos adereços de cabeça (sim. coroa tá valendo) e cintura bem marcada com vestidos comportados.

Serena – No estilo dessa temporada dela reina o comprimento mini (vestidos ou saias ou shorts até) com botas ou meias acima do joelho. Eu acho MUITO fofo meia calça acima do joelho com ankle boot ou sandália abotinada.

Jenny – A mais rocker do seriado, perdeu um pouco a aura punk mas continua usando saia de tule, cabelo loiro BEM descolorido e maquiagem pesada. Arrasa.

pros meninos as dicas são:

Nate - tá mais soltinho ele, né? Pra copiar, faça sobreposição de camisa com cardigan meio larguinho, entreaberto (difícil vai ser aguentar o calor da mixta, então foca na peça DE BAIXO)

Chuck – AMO essa coisa dândi do chuck. e pago um drink pra quem for com lenço de seda amarrado por dentro da camisa e cabelo com gel.

e finalmente…

Dan - se joga na camisa de flanela (de novo, pensa no calor que vai fazer) e vai ser feliz!

Aliás, quero todo mundo feliz na pista de dança!!

Luciana Obniski é fã de Gossip Girl desde o primeiro capítulo e ainda não sabe se vai se inspirar em Serena ou Jenny.

The last few weeks have been busy. Prepping a commercial that’s not yet been signed off by Clearcast (we were supposed to be shooting today and tomorrow), so in the meantime, I’ve been spending time at the Christmas market and cutting a couple of small projects I did through Chief.

Dying to shoot it and get it wrapped up before Christmas – that would be great.

Snapped these pics on my phone – still in awe at the quality of the camera on the C902…

I felt like I was galloping through
the desert with a gallon of salt
water tied to my back. My head brewed
clouds and clouds brought rain, but the halt
I imagined was never the result
materializing in this immaterial ring.
Yet if I held my breath I’d hear her breathing.

Are you sleeping young brown
sleeper? Are you the gulf
between my eyes? Is the ground
your airy touch point, a fluffed
or dusty bed of sky? The puffed
and pink cheek rounds out the silhouette.
The breath ensnares us in its net.

Deus, faz um clone de algum deles  e me manda?

Meteori i kapur nga kamera te ndryshme ne videot e mesiperme ka kaluar naten e 21 Shtatorit mbi qiellin e mbremjes ne Afriken e Jugut. Kjo eshte per te na rikujtuar se sa te vegjel jemi dhe se sa delikate eshte ekzistenca jone…

Glamour, estilo, riqueza, poder, trapaças e amor. Esses são todos os elementos que fazem de Gossip girl a melhor série do momento (pra mim). Amo ver todas as aventuras dos riquinhos de Upper East Side, eles podem ser falsos e superficiais, mas pra mim são o retrato perfeito de uma parte da sociedade. Olhando na net encontrei algumas fotos que gostaria de compartilhar com vocês. Espero que vocês gostem.

(Quick Intro): D1 (Nate)… Mc/ Rapper/Producer/Lover/ All-Round-Fly-Guy…Coming Outta Geelong City, Aus!

Check Me Out: http://www.myspce.com/d1musik…Holla @ Ya.Boy…

” GRIND TIME “

You-tubing away as I do I came across a battle league called “Grind Time” this League is based on pre-written rhymes however the Mc’s that battle in this league are beasts!

I’ve watched this league grow to become the No. #1 battle league in the WORLD!!

Differently worth checking out…

http://www.grintimenow.com or http://www.youtube.com/drect

A few favorite Mc’s of mine….Dumbfoundead, F.L.O, Locksmith, Conceited, Sahtyre…This league is U.S based but has battlers from around the globe. One day I hope to see an Australian off branch, Grind Time (Down Under) with your host D1, haha!

Hope You Enjoyed… Much Love // Ya.No.1 Guest Blogger D1…