A loooooong time ago I did a piece comparing NBA franchises to TV shows. Well, time to revisit that. A lot’s changed in the NBA since that piece was written, so only appropriate that teams are recognized for what they are, today.

The San Antonio Spurs – The NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams
Everybody says it’s an awesome show, and it definitely gets the job done. However, it’s difficult stay awake for the duration of a single broadcast.

The New York Knicks – Tru Calling
Our intrepid hero works all day long with corpses that speak. Soon-to-be-axed…

The Miami Heat – Temptation Island
(with Shaquille O’Neal as ‘the boyfriend’, and the team as ‘the girlfriend’).
So the couple arrive and begin the show together, and everything seems to be hunky-dory. They pledge undying love for each other in a tropical location and mouth platitudes about how nothing could tear them asunder. We like him, he’s a good guy. And she’s nice too… but by the end of the show he’s pouting and complaining, then leaves her for a better proposition – and we can’t help but think that in reality, she’s better off without him.
Amazing to think that 2 years ago, this was your NBA champion people.

The Los Angeles Lakers – Dexter
A quirky story that just seems to gel together so nicely. Characters that are just perfect for the show, and an excellent supporting cast for Dexter – a guy whose handsome, smiling face is a mere façade for a cold-blooded killer. Whilst cheering him on to ‘get the bad guy’, you’d do well to remember that the central character of this show is an absolute psychotic nutjob, for all his smiles and graces.

The Boston Celtics – ER
Damn good central characters, but the supporting cast just seems a bit weak. Even so, is a must-watch affair as direction is excellent, and the leads of this drama are just too good to turn off. Story-line’s generally a gem too. Has the overall talent to run away with an Emmy or two, just wish the talent around the main characters was better.

The Chicago Bulls – Survivor
One-by-one, contestants are eliminated.
Who can forget the plucky lil’ Scotty Skiles? Or that smilin’ hunk that everyone loved – Big Ben? Or that goofy guy with the crazy hair (ol’ what’s-’is-name)?
By the end, we end up hating pretty much all of them.

The Dallas Mavericks – The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric
Just desperately wants to be the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams.

The Cleveland Cavaliers – American Idol
End premise is to end up with one really good singer. Add in a mixture of anywhere from mediocre to bad talent around that good singer, and just hope that it all works out. Sometimes good viewing, sometimes so bad that you can’t turn away. But at the end of the day it’s not going to compete with the TV classics.

Phoenix Suns – Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Started out well, and seemed like a good idea at the time. But, the more people saw it the less they liked it.

(A definite nod goes out to Doug from On 205th for his input and editorial on this piece…!)

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