I have very few pet peeves in my world. Some of them make sense and some of them I understand are my personal issues. For example, I detest being late. I know that this is a personal issue, but it drives me up a wall. It can throw me off for hours when I feel rushed or gods forbid, when I don’t have a few minutes to collect myself before an appointment. I often get to school or the doctor 5 minutes early so that I can make sure I have everything I need before I head inside. It is a family joke now and my kids often ask me if we are really late or just late for being early. I look at it this way, if someone takes time out of their day to set an appointment with me for a particular time, it is rude for me to be late.

My biggest pet peeve is when people lie to me. I understand the gentle lies about my new haircut or how I look in a particular pair of pants. I even appreciate them because I know they come from a good place in the hearts of the people who do it. There are good friends in my life who will tell me the truth regardless and I appreciate that as well. What drives me over the edge is when people lie to me because they think I’m stupid.

I bend over backwards to help the people I care about. I go out of my way to make sure they have the thing that they need be it money, emotional support or anything in between. I am a caregiver. Its what I do and not only do I enjoy it, but I’m good at it. Knowing what people need comes with the ability to read them. If people are honest with me, I have no problem giving them what they need down to the shirt off my back. I think that’s part of the reason it bothers me so much when people aren’t honest with me. You don’t have to lie to me, take advantage of me in order to get what you need from me. Show me enough respect to be up front with me and I will make it happen.

I have 3 degrees. I have spent the majority of my life paying attention to people and how they act. I am not a stupid woman. If you want something, have the balls to ask me for it and if it is in my power, I will make it so. Do not ask me to do one thing for you and then, 5 minutes later, mention that you also need something else. I am going to notice that the money you just spent on fun junk would have paid the bill  you now need help with. *sigh* More than that, respect me enough, the opportunities I give you enough, to be up front with me. All will be well when the basis of interaction is respect.

My life is disorganized and I want it to be neat. I might be making too many goals for myself in such a short period of time – so I will start off with 1 goal.

#1 Organize my Homework/Study Desk

Let’s face it, I just didn’t feel like being eloquent.

I did, however, feel like folding paper for six hours yesterday. Yes, it was actually fun. And now I have the beginning of my Christmas decorations to go on my ceiling.

Brief story: when I went to visit my sister in France Christmas of 2008, I took a six inch just-add-water tree, and a book of origami and paper. (Need to find that direction book). I made Trees, reindeer, cranes, boxes, and “throwing” stars. The throwing stars are my favorite, because they can be folded up to stay in perfect formation, and never fall open. They are also quite durable, and since they do stick together, they do throw quite well. I stuck them up on her ceiling in France for the holidays, and she never took them down. (They might still even be there…)

Since I have these stars that I really like, and I had a new book of (horrible directions of not real origami) and halfway decent paper, I set myself down yesterday and was crafty. I asked if my cousin had a paper cutter, and what do you know, she did. And so I began. And just didn’t stop.

If I had been forced to do it, it would have been another question altogether. But since I was visiting and chatting and watching TV and didn’t want to be doing anything else, it was a welcome respite from the craziness that is the end of semester. The calm in the midst of the storm.

And now I have an unknown number of stars with which to decorate our apartment.

Friday November 27, 2009 By Kevin Morrow

The following blog spawned from a conversation I had earlier today. I have changed the persons name to keep them anonymous, but this is the the actual text conversation.

anonymous female : “What you doing today?”

Me : “I’m with my family, what’s up?.”

Her: “Nothing im doin the same.”

Me: “Cool, I’m bout to lay down and warm myself up.”

Her: “Me to its cold.”

Me: “Yeah, looks like that means you’ll be up awhile…”

HER (will now be bold print) : “Yea if I stay awake.”
Me: Oh. I’m getting this weird vibe. What’s on your mind? How was dinner?
HER: Not much I’m hella bored and alone and dinner was aight and u?”
Me: Alone? And dinner was good.
HER:Yea alone no matter wat I do I feel like shit
Me: Wanna talk about it?
HER: I cant say how it feels I just always cry I wonder why I’m alive.
Me: You gotta find something that helps other people and yourself at the same time and you’ll start feeling better.
HER: I don’t know what to do.
Me: Try starting by believing that your life is not a waste. That’s just a lie that your believing.
HER: I feel that way nothing good comes to me nothin i’m a waste of air.
Me: What’s the purpose of thinking that?
HER: I don’t know really.
Me: There isn’t one. Not a single one. Fuck what anybody else says. What you think is what matters, you have to ask yourself what’s the purpose of the thoughts that make you feel like your lifes a waste. You’ll never find a good one…cuz your life is not a waste.
HER:I just feel like nothing goes right with me I cant explain how much I hurt everyday Kevin.
Me: You’ll have to start small to start changing that around.
HER: I try I do.
Me: Have you ever wanted to be psychic?
HER: Hell yeah who wouldn’t want to?
Me: A lot of people apparently lol. What would you do if you were?
HER: I don’t know tell what people are doing or whats going to happen.
Me: Would that make you feel better?
HER: A little bit.
Me: Dang. What would do more than a little bit? Money or something?
HER: Money hell yeah.
Me: How much money will make you feel better? 1,000 2,000 6,000…How much do you think?
HER: Millions
Me: Then what? After you get the millions?
HER: Buy what I need with no worries.
Me: What do you need?
HER: House cars ect…
Me: And all that will make you happy? Just like that?
HER: Yes
Me: Did you know that the same happy you feel when your dancing is the same happy you think youll have by getting money and cars and houses? Your the same you when you have money and when you don’t. You just convince yourself that your different.

If money will make you happy…you have to be happy before you can get the money that you want. That’s why it makes you sad.

HER: Dancing goes away but money and cars stay.
Me: Money and cars go away too. Money and cars don’t last forever.
Are you putting the value of who you really are in money cars and houses? What about the part of you that wants to be loved? Isn’t that part of you worth more than that?

HER: I’ll never be loved and I’m worth nothing.
Me: That’s bullshit, you know that’s not true. You wouldn’t want to change if you honestly believed that.
HER: To me its true I hate every part of myself if I had money I would use it to change myself.
Me: You hate every part of yourself because the things that you hate about yourself are not true.
HER: But I hate everything so whats left to love?
Me: Everything…your situation could be a lot worse…Right now your talking to me because you know that you can change how you feel about yourself, and you want to change how you feel about yourself. All I’m doing is reminding you how you got to think about yourself in the way you do now. The same way you got into how you feel about yourself, is the same way you will change it.
HER: I don’t know what to think anymore.
Me: What do you mean?
HER: I don’t know I’m just sick of life.
Me: But you don’t know why? What’s the point in being sick of life?
HER: Not wanting to enjoy it I don’t care about anything.
Me: That’s a point? You think that the point is not to care about anything? Then don’t care about the thoughts that make you feel bad.
HER: I try not to but the thoughts come to my mind.
Me: The thoughts aren’t real. They are what your mind creates to support what you feel and see in your life. It can be changed.
Do the people you hang out with feel the same way you do?
HER: Some of them.
Me: What’s the purpose of being friends with the ones who do? So yall can drink and complain and feel bad together?
HER: Basically that’s what happens.
Me: Exactly. Shouldn’t yall be helping each other to get out of the crap than staying in it together?
HER: Yeah but we don’t talk about it all the time.
Me: That’s good, you said you hate everything, but you just said something good.
HER: I did?
Me: You said yall don’t talk bad all the time. So that must mean you and your friends have fun right? Isn’t fun good?
HER: Yeah I always have fun but at the end of the night im back to life soo…
Me: You never left life when you were having fun. You just changed how you felt and thought about it. Its not like when your having fun you become someone else right? Or do you? Think about it…
HER: I kinda do become someone else when I’m drunk I forget who I am.
Me: You forget who you “think” you are. Cuz your not thinking when drunk. But it also depresses you cuz when the alcohol is done your back to “normal” but if your hating yourself your not really seeing yourself. Your seeing a lie.
Enough about this tonight though, we will talk about it later.

That ended the conversation because I was feeling drained. I felt like it was time to just end the conversation. That’s just how the flow went. I noticed that the conversation helped heal both of our minds.

Some days the difference between what I need to happen and what actually happens is so big that the only thing that makes me peaceful is sinking into a feeling of upcoming doom. Like the mood of this song. There’s no pressure, everything is going to end soon (speaking in relative terms, I hope). Of course that’s not what I want, but there are days when what I want gives me this intense feeling of a loss, even though I never had it to lose it. Only in my head.

Internet Files Encyclopedia – allfile.do.am – Click

“If you want God’s grace, all you need is need,

all you need is nothing.”

Tim Keller

Erato and Peitho dance, hand in hand,
To the songs of sex, heat and love; they kiss
The brows of lovers with enchanted lips
And adorn their skins with passionate need.

They are the heralds of Aphrodite,
That laughter-loving, blood-borne Queen; they send
To her the smiles of midnight lovers, and
Warm their bodies in Selene’s soft glow.

To you again,

I’m sorry.  Im sorry because I think I may have loved you.  And I’m sorry because I dreamed of being with you, I dreamed of being happy.  But now I know that that happiness was based on something I didn’t understand.

Today I saw her.  And maybe I still don’t understand, but even though that moment, your moment, even though it broke me, I think I realized.  I don’t want my happiness to be because of her pain.  It shouldn’t start that way and it was wrong of me to want it, to wish for it, so, so much.

So I’m sorry.  I’m so so sorry for not getting it.  I’m sorry for wanting it all.  I’m sorry for wanting you.  But now, even through my ridiculous pain, I can see, and through it I just want you to be happy.  I want her to be happy.  I can deal with the rest.

Oh, and by the way, she’s beautiful.

Me.

People laugh everyday. I mean, you can’t honestly look back at everything that happened today and say that you didn’t snicker the tiniest bit at something you heard, saw, or even thought about…can you?

Have you ever laughed really hard, so hard you probably did pee a little, and then actually thought about what a true joy it is to be able to laugh? Laughing is a way to express the amusement you find out of something someone said or did. Even the smallest chuckle shows what appreciation you have towards the person or thing that helped take your mind off of other things around you.

So, thank you, to everyone that made me laugh today. I needed it, even if you don’t realize it.

[fossiledsecrets]

Empty day this is

Without you.

Strange feeling it is

I need you!

We are as one

Since April 16,

When you took my hand

To warm it up.

When we first kissed there,

Where love rose up.

You mustn’t be gone

’till WINTER 16.

But empty day, it is

I’m without you!

And a strange feeling this is:

That I need you.

I do love you

Since April 14,

When you gave your words

To me, to see

How your Ocean burns

For me, your sea…

And I want you

Since April 14.

Where are you now?

I want to dive

In…

To…

You!

Should I stay?

Or betray?

You, you, you…

What do you have for me?

What have you written down before

I was born…

(You open your eyes

Just scream out loud

You open your eyes

Just scream I’m alive!)

I am afraid

Give me from your aid

I need, I need, I need…

What is goin’ on?

Why’s everyone against you?

I am showin’ off…

Don’t they see the Truth that’s You?

Why? Why? Why?

I decided to stay with you

I won’t make you feel blue

You, you, you…

So scream

Just scream out loud

Christ!

I am still alive

Jesus,

I need you…

(To fill the emptiness inside,

The vacuum in my heart).

Forgive me…

God…

The sky went black

And my fear is back

It’s back, it’s back, it’s back…

Teach me how to feel

Teach me how to hear

You, you, you…

I need you…

Witch Tree by cenoslave…….pretty twisty…..like it.

and disappointed at the moment.  It is so hard to not go into a seance without expectation.  Not that a seance is a regular occurence, but I was so hoping to get a little bit of my sis there.  He said some interesting things to people, but as far as I could understand, my message was kind of random.  I won’t harp on it too much cuz he was such a sweet sweet man doing his best.  Oh and I was so crazy yesterday!  I thought that my sister came into my bathroom and took her jewelry….a couple of rings and a bracelet….because I was sure I had put them there.  Duh!  I remembered this morning where I actually left them.  Really wanting something to be true can be hairy!  Anywho…..focusing on the lyrics and I think I am getting somewhere.  Just because they do not come out instantly does not mean it is not the time.  I have found that working on them and staying in it is also a way to connect to my creativity.  Very interesting.  xo!

Damn I need this, I might actually replace me Mac so I can have this. I love the quote on their site

“We are all at the mercy of our wild monkey minds. Incessantly swinging from branch to branch.”

Beautiful.

I snuggle Fynn in the moments before he goes to sleep. I stroke his hair. Run my hand down his cheek, my fingers trace the line in between his eyes that runs down his nose in an effort to help him close his sleepy blue eyes. He holds my hand for a few moments, then lets go, rolls over. He’s ready for sleep, ready for his space, ready to say goodnight. He’s had his fill of snuggles. I leave him to his slumber, and sulk out of the bedroom.

I always need more.

Tonight is my high school reunion. I’m not going. I thought about it, but the timing is not good – the night before Thanksgiving when we’re hosting, and now we have sick kids, and no babysitter. However, if I could take my {healthy} kids with me, I would have gone in a heartbeat.

Is that wrong?

People always want to show off their best sides at reunions. They are my best side. My best work. My everything. With them in tow I would had a built in shield from harsh conversations or off handed comments that might have occurred {though only in my head…} I have some wonderful memories from those years, and think fondly of the few good friends I had, but there are also memories that got shoved away due to painful content. For another day, another year.

There are times when I think I need the kids more than they will know. They are my protectors, my shield. When I’m out by myself, I’m not as vibrant and on the ball as when I’m out with them. With them, I want to be the mom they know, always. Relatively uninhibited, outgoing, fun. Not the shy, introvert that I’ve known and had a love hate relationship for 28 years.

They bring out the best in me.

They push me.

Egg me on to be better.

And yet they are safe.

In their absence during my alone time I wear a necklace bearing their names in hope that it reminds me of who I can be, who I’ve become. They’re with me always, in my heart and on my mind. I know I’m needy when it comes to my children, they’ve given me so much already. But it can’t be helped. It’s not that I wasn’t hugged enough as a child, or have a husband who doesn’t give me hugs. Neither one of those are even close to the truth.

When my children were born, I thought many insecurities would simply disappear. And some did. But some are here to stay. Thankfully it’s family and faith that gets us through them, makes us work at them, makes us stronger.

Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning I sneak in to the comfort of Fynn’s bed and steal a few midnight snuggles, then drift off to sleep smelling his Burt’s Bees washed hair. I breathe him in and it brings me back to earth, back from late night panic attacks and dreary thoughts. He and Paige both bring me peace.

If there’s a twenty year reunion, I will probably go. Without the kids. By that time I hope to have grown into myself a little more, with the help of two little ones. The family my husband and I created. The best parts of us.

Pregnancy Remedies

Most abundant women will get all the nutrients they charge for their anatomy and developing babyish from their diet about a acceptable affection supplement with the appropriate bulk of vitamins and Pregnancy Remedies minerals can accommodate a aegis in case the foods they eat do not accumulation a analytical comestible that the babyish needs.

It is important admitting to agenda that some supplements are not all-important and could alike be alarming if taken during pregnancy.

Prenatal Vitamins

Prenatal vitamins are agnate to accustomed vitamins but they accept been acclimatized to clothing a abundant woman’s needs by accepting hardly college levels of vitamins and minerals such as folic acerbic and iron.

If vitamins are taken during abundance they should be purchased them from a large acclaimed architect at a retail pharmacy as they are monitored for quality

Ensure supplements that are abnormally advised for abundant women are purchased and never beat the declared dose. If there is any agnosticism about requirements or Pregnancy Herbal whether a supplement is acceptable for abundance acceptance or not a doctor should consistently be consulted.

Folic Acerbic during Pregnancy

If you are planning on accepting abundant the you should booty folic acerbic afore apperception and during the aboriginal three months of pregnancy.

Fish Oil in Pregnancy

Fish oil contains aerial levels of omega- blubbery acids which accommodate the architecture blocks to anatomy a advantageous academician and anatomy for a baby.

It is appropriate to try and accept added omega- blubbery acids during abundance but guidelines charge be followed on the bulk of angle to absorb back pregnant.

Fish oil supplements are safe to booty during Pregnancy Remedies abundance and a cardinal of brands accept been advised absolutely for abundant women.

Fish oil does affect how claret clots so they should not be taken a brace of weeks afore the mother is due to accord birth.

Herbal Supplements during Pregnancy

Herbal supplements still accept some apropos during abundance as alike admitting herbal additives are answer as natural any assemble has the abeyant to be baneful or harmful.

Herbs and herbal supplements are about safe back taken in teas or in flavourings for food about they should be Pregnancy Remedy abhorred in Pregnancy Remedies concentrated doses or pills.

To be completely honest there are some things in life that I crave, absolutely need to have and comfort is one of those things especially at home.  I am the first to sacrifice comfort when it comes to a fabulous pair of heels, but when I am in my home I need comfort!  The Hubs and I are determined to create a comfortable and restorative space for our study.  We purchased the Lounge Sofa from Crate & Barrel which is arguably the most comfortable sofa ever – super deep with soft micro velvet fabric and down cushions.  In love!

Crate & Barrel Lounge Sofa

The cold nights are fast approaching, being cozy and warm under a thick wool cable knit throw blanket is my idea of comfort this winter.  With that said, now I need to find the perfect one.  Pottery Barn has a cable knit throw for $79 and unfortunately it is a cotton acrylic blend.  I hate hate hate synthetic materials like acrylic and polyester.

Pottery Barn Cable Knit Throw

Here are my throw blanket requirements:

1. Natural fiber – wool or cotton {bamboo too!}
2. Chunky cable knit
3. Ivory, cream or white

Check out this gorgeous chunky knit throw blanket that I found on Emilie Finds blog {http://bit.ly/90YEdf} this blanket in a neutral would be to die for!

Emilie Finds Blog

There is a blanket from West Elm that is growing on me the Lutz & Patmos honeycomb throw for $89 except it too is mostly acrylic.

West Elm Honeycomb Throw

Any suggestions where I could possibly find what I want for under $150 would be appreciated!  Thanks!!!

I don’t want you to want me
I want you to need me
So bad it hurts.
A need that strangles and bruises
A need that leaves a mark.
And not just on the body
On the soul.
A need that is
Unstoppable
Uncontrollable
Unbelievable
Beauty at its rawest.

I don’t want you to stay
I want you to never leave
Love so real it hurts.
A love that tears and rips
A love that leaves a mark.
Not just on the soul
But on your heart.
A love that is
Unstoppable
Uncontrollable
Unbelievable.
Never say goodbye.

Seniors who neglect themselves, risking their own health and safety, tend to be individuals with limited social networks and little social engagement, according to a study by Rush University Medical Center.

“We need to better understand elder self-neglect – who is at risk and why – so that we can find solutions and establish appropriate policies,” said Dr. Xinqi Dong, the study’s lead author.  “This is particularly important because reports of self-neglect to social service agencies are rising.

“Moreover, as our aging population is rapidly increasing in size, elder self-neglect will likely become an even more pervasive public health issue.”

The study was based on records drawn from the Chicago Health and Aging Project, a study of 9,056 individuals 65 years of age and older who live in Chicago’s South Side. Over the 12-year course of the study, 20 percent of these seniors were reported to the Chicago Department of Aging because of concern about suspected self-neglect.

Elder self-neglect generally manifests itself as “a refusal or failure by the person to provide himself/herself with adequate food, water, clothing, shelter, personal hygiene, medication and safety precautions.”

Twice as many women as men and more than seven times the number of African Americans as whites were reported for self-neglect. Those reported, compared with those not reported, tended to be over the age of 80 and have a lower socioeconomic status. The individuals also tended to have nutritional deficiencies, medical conditions and cognitive, physical and psychological deficits.

However, independent of all these factors, lower levels of social well-being – specifically, limited social networks and little social engagement – were major risk factors for self-neglect.

The study has important implications for health and social service professionals, Dong said.

“Professionals who work with the elderly need to be mindful not just of their patients’ health profile, but also of their social well-being, a factor that may put them at risk of self-neglect,” Dong said.  “With social services being cut, and community and city resources lacking to help seniors, the problems of isolation can only grow worse.”

Lack of social engagement and staying networked with others in this world can bring on some of the worst feelings a person can have. Home Instead Senior Care has only the friendliest, talkative, and socially engaging CAREGivers for our clients. If you are finding your elderly loved one feeling less socially engaged or lonely, Home Instead may be the answer. Our CAREGivers make great companions, and can allow for loved ones to feel rejuvenated with social interaction, reducing the chance of self-neglect.
Home Instead Senior Care will provide outstanding caregivers to help your loved one with personal care, incidental travel, companionship, medication reminders, light housekeeping, and even meal preparation. To learn more, call 248-203-2273 or visit www.homeinstead.com. Home Instead Senior Care is the world’s trusted source of in-home non-commercial personal care and companionship for seniors. Each franchise is independently owned and operated. And remember, to us, it’s personal.

Seniors who neglect themselves, risking their own health and safety, tend to be individuals with limited social networks and little social engagement, according to a study by Rush University Medical Center.

“We need to better understand elder self-neglect – who is at risk and why – so that we can find solutions and establish appropriate policies,” said Dr. Xinqi Dong, the study’s lead author.  “This is particularly important because reports of self-neglect to social service agencies are rising.

“Moreover, as our aging population is rapidly increasing in size, elder self-neglect will likely become an even more pervasive public health issue.”

The study was based on records drawn from the Chicago Health and Aging Project, a study of 9,056 individuals 65 years of age and older who live in Chicago’s South Side. Over the 12-year course of the study, 20 percent of these seniors were reported to the Chicago Department of Aging because of concern about suspected self-neglect.

Elder self-neglect generally manifests itself as “a refusal or failure by the person to provide himself/herself with adequate food, water, clothing, shelter, personal hygiene, medication and safety precautions.”

Twice as many women as men and more than seven times the number of African Americans as whites were reported for self-neglect. Those reported, compared with those not reported, tended to be over the age of 80 and have a lower socioeconomic status. The individuals also tended to have nutritional deficiencies, medical conditions and cognitive, physical and psychological deficits.

However, independent of all these factors, lower levels of social well-being – specifically, limited social networks and little social engagement – were major risk factors for self-neglect.

The study has important implications for health and social service professionals, Dong said.

“Professionals who work with the elderly need to be mindful not just of their patients’ health profile, but also of their social well-being, a factor that may put them at risk of self-neglect,” Dong said.  “With social services being cut, and community and city resources lacking to help seniors, the problems of isolation can only grow worse.”

Lack of social engagement and staying networked with others in this world can bring on some of the worst feelings a person can have. Home Instead Senior Care has only the friendliest, talkative, and socially engaging CAREGivers for our clients. If you are finding your elderly loved one feeling less socially engaged or lonely, Home Instead may be the answer. Our CAREGivers make great companions, and can allow for loved ones to feel rejuvenated with social interaction, reducing the chance of self-neglect.
Home Instead Senior Care will provide outstanding caregivers to help your loved one with personal care, incidental travel, companionship, medication reminders, light housekeeping, and even meal preparation. To learn more, call 248-203-2273 or visit www.homeinstead.com. Home Instead Senior Care is the world’s trusted source of in-home non-commercial personal care and companionship for seniors. Each franchise is independently owned and operated. And remember, to us, it’s personal.

Well, in only a couple of days it will be Thanksgiving and we’ll be very aware of all of those things which we are thankful for. As I was searching for a quote to send out with my daily Bible reading email, I stumbled across a quote which really made me think.

“I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man with no feet.” Ancient Persian Saying

Now that helps me and I hope it helps you today. You may have things going on in your life that you don’t understand. You may have experienced loss or pain and the holidays cause that pain to rise to the forefront of your mind. You may have gone through some traumatic issues concerning your finances, family or personal life. We can’t minimize this, but we must be able to look at those things which we do have. We have to allow ourselves to see our lives from a greater perspective.

God is there in the midst of your pain… your questions… your sadness. He is there even when we can’t ‘feel’ it or ’sense’ it. There’s a verse in the Bible that has helped me understand this. It’s found in the 38th Psalm and in the 18th verse…

“God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

I want you to know that God is close to you today. And my prayer is that you will be able to see this today. Whether it is through something you read or the hug of a friend or an unexpected phone call… I pray that His love, grace and care for you will be overwhelmingly evident today.

GP

The days of doing business as we have been doing in the past are gone. We can no longer afford to continue using traditional approaches in managing our companies. Executives or organizations that insist on clinging to outmoded ways of thinking will find themselves standing on the sidelines as new traditions are being established by forward thinking business visionaries. The business leaders of the future are awakening, sensitive to the personal responsibility the public now demands from the business community.

All of us share certain values and beliefs. We value the human spirit and believe that modern society must change in a deep and fundamental way the way it thinks, if we are to have a sustainable future. We also believe that the most effective leverage in achieving such a global transformation is through the business community.

It is doubtful that the business community would take this leadership role out of altruism. However, we believe that if business leaders recognize a need to operate responsibly, and feel that their personal values are in accord with organizational values, they will begin doing business in a new way—establishing new traditions in business communities around the world.

My Consultancy–Asif J. Mir - Management Consultant–transforms organizations where people have the freedom to be creative, a place that brings out the best in everybody–an open, fair place where people have a sense that what they do matters. For details please visit www.asifjmir.com, and my Lectures.

I read a story last week: Return of the Guardian King.  Fourth and final of a vividly epic fantasy series written by a woman who knows my world, my type, and my God.  Her name is Karen Hancock, and her stories have invaded my imagination permanently.

It is a book about temptation, I told a friend.  Resisting in the slow way, wearied by the persistence, common days, small things.  And massive temptations: to betray all you have believed in, to denounce the promises of God for the power of ruling kingdoms, to trade love in the good God and His simple gifts to the extravagant suit of the alluring devil.  But the large and the small are the same. 

The characters are strong against deception and temptation when they have been faithful in the daily denying of self.  To live for others, in kindness and patience, prepares each person against bitterness and despair.  Immersion in the truth and promises of God is comfort and hope.  Even if their prayer is a single cry for help from God, bad things trun to good when people talk to their God. 

The story isn’t about what is happening on the outside as much as it is about whether the characters are trusting God, whether they know with all their might that He loves them and that His plans for them are good.  When they are rebelling against him, they are miserable.  So are those around them.  So am I. 

Kiriath is in the hands of the jealous and vengeful brother Gillard, possessed by a demon rhu’ema.  Already they treat and ally with the archenemy, Belthe’adi, Abramm had warned them of.  Abramm is known to be dead.  But Abramm is also walking the mountains, chafing under the waiting in a snowed-in monastery.  Maddie is back at her childhood home, a palatial life she never embraced, and her newest royal duty is to marry some rich aristocrat who can offer troops to defend the last stand of her homeland.  But her dreams linked with her beloved’s are back, and something tugs hope alive in her that maybe Abramm survived after all. 

Shapeshifters, dragons, and the critical people who are supposed to be his friends plague Abramm on his Odyssey-like journey back to his wife and sons.  Trap and Carissa mirror Abramm’s struggle with pride and longing but in a quiet domestic setting.  Detours take the exiled king and longed-for husband to places of faith and doubt he never would have imagined – and sometimes wishes he had never asked for. 

Every character learns the power of friends: locking them against temptation, praying for their dearest concerns, teaching and challenging with the truth, dividing the attacks of dragons, delivering messages, watching with unbiased eyes, guarding against betrayal.  Again Abramm learns that it is not his strength that conquers, and that God has not gifted him with leadership and military prowess to fight God’s battles for Him.  He is but a vessel. 

Maddie meets a charming man who is attractive in all the ways Abramm never was.  Tirus wants her, wants to help her.  He understands her and shows her off, showers her with gifts and protects her from scorn.  How long can she wait for her husband whom even her dearest friends still believe is dead?  Will she believe the light-born visions and promises from God, or the technological, repeatable sight from the stone sent to her by her suitor?  Will she change her mind about regal living and the purpose of marriage?  The things that stood in Maddie’s way when she wanted to marry Abramm, and the undeniable need they had for each other – will she forget those? 

When things go from bad to worse, whose job is it to protect the ones they love?  At what cost will they buy safety and love?  Will the armies of the Moon, and the powers of the air – dragons winging terror across the skies – will they succeed in doing their worst, in taking everything from those faithful to God?  Or will they be utterly defeated?  If they cannot be defeated, what is the point in fighting and sacrificing? 

And when God’s people fail, bitterly weak, The Return of the Guardian King resounds with display of God’s mercy.  God knew we were weak when He chose us.  He knew we would fail when He sent His Son to suffer for those sins.  And a single prayer, sometimes the end of God’s longsuffering chase, brings grace empowering His servants to do the right thing.  He cannot deny Himself.  His promises will be true, however faithless we are. 

To God be all glory,

Lisa of Longbourn