Did you know that you don’t have to think about your body in order for it to stay well?  It is when you think negative thoughts through your own perceptions of the physical world and physical bodies that cause you to have dis-ease within the body. If you kept your mind on positive thought and didn’t think one thing about your own body you would stay well.  Focus on the positives of life in general and you will be helping your own physical body to stay well.

We just got our power back on.  It was out all evening from a huge storm.  We all kept warm under blankets but now my toasty little heater is on full blast.  I appreciate my house and all its comforts and sometimes it takes losing something to appreciate it even more.

www.bethandleemccain.com

Here is an example list of both good habits and bad habits– good habits which you can follow and the bad ones which you can avoid:

GOOD HABITS(to embrace):

– Feeding your mind with good messages from books, audios or any other form of input.

– Eating healthy diet, eating moderately and eating at proper time.

– Exercising daily according to your doctor’s prescription. (Any form of exercise that you like).

– Never-give-up in any situation on a daily basis.

– Telling the truth and being honest at all situations.

– Appreciate and compliment others where it is due.

– Being punctual and respecting others time.

– Opening up your spiritual account and putting savings in to it, day after day.

– Having a reading session with your family.

– Never retaliate or pay back anyone who has done some injustice to you.

– Having a great interest in ones family, and respecting ones spouses and children’s rights and being a good dad or mom by listening to a child’s need.

– Being a sincere student by completing tasks on time, taking real interest in the subject and helping others students with her or his studies.

– Making others feel comfortable and happy.

– Helping others whenever it is possible for you.

BAD HABITS (TO AVOID):

– Being over-indulgent any form of activities.

– Thinking that one has to win every single time to succeed in life.

– Passing judgments on others.

– Thinking that one has reached his/her limits in life and don’t have a chance to grow any further, may be because of age or economy or any other circumstance which one may think has put an end to his/her growth.

– Addicted to smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.

– Drug addiction of any sort.

– Passing the buck—nothing beneficial could ever come when one blame others unreasonably or unnecessarily.

– Playing favorites and not treating others equally.

– Allowing your mind to think negative and lifeless low level thoughts.

– Thinking that others are superior or inferior to you.

– Not listening to others while they talk.

– Using sarcasm on others as a way to belittle them or to have fun.

– Having “borrowing money” as ones vocation.

– And trivial but significant things like nail-biting, hair pulling, nose picking, chocolate and ice creams as a regular habit.

“You put your efforts to form your good habits first, and then they put their effort to form you, your life and your success.”

The good habits make you beautiful and the bad habits make your life an ugly one, and it’s now certain that you are the master who is to have a bunch of good habits in your repertoire!

Good or bad, as a master yourself you choose them!!

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

Wish you all the riches to come with God’s blessings

Peter Anand

I have many people say to me “I just don’t understand”, “I don’t think this works”, “What do you think you can accomplish by setting your intentions”? ” What is this Universe thing all about?” I have been trying to figure out how to address those questions. They are not necessarily being negative, they just haven’t got it yet. The ahhhaa moment has not hit them yet or the light bulb has not gone off. Or they just don’t really care…
Last evening I had a wonderful session with Catherine Behan. We did a visualization about a garden planting our small plants and watching them grow and develop. I did not have my ahhhaa moment about how to address this though until I was outside today with my dog and thinking about our session. There is a scrub acorn tree in my neighbor’s yard that hangs over my drive way causing quite a lot of small leaves and acorns to be on my drive way. I looked at them and I got it. Something has put us all here. Even if you don’t believe in God or the Higher Being…SOMETHING PUT US HERE…They give us the tools to nurture and grow. The acorn drops to the ground and if all conditions are right it will grow. If the soil is not right or it does not get watered it withers and dies. Just as we do-If we put negative thoughts and words into our bodies we will get negative thoughts and words. We wither and die. If we put positive in our bodies we will grow. We will expand. We are just like those plants.
Now we all have negative garbage we carry around with us. So in order for us now to expand and grow we have to let go of our garbage. There are many ways to do this. YOU are the only one that kind find the way for yourself. You have to seek and be willing to do the things needed in order to grow and expand.

Love to all. It is all good.

I was just thinking…What are you thinking?

I honestly don’t know what you’re thinking as you begin reading this, or what you will think after reading this essay. Nevertheless, my intent is to encourage you in the disciplines of your thought life by applying selective thinking—choosing your thoughts based on biblical truths.

Learning to control your thoughts is a process that leads to freedom from an imprisoned mind shackled by life’s challenges, past experiences, and seemingly senseless situations.
I’m sure you will agree that trying to control thoughts about even the simplest things of everyday life can be wearisome.

For example, when my son, Jonathan was 17 he was sure he’d found his “first and only” love, Bianca. He was charting their month-to-month anniversary on the wall calendar. Their artistic creativity was exchanged through love letters, notes, and on scraps of papers I found throughout the house… (Yes I was a snoop if that’s what you want to call it! But there’s really no “right to privacy” law in my kingdom). Guess what I was thinking? You’re right! Oh, no! This relationship couldn’t be that serious! My mind was flooded with thoughts. What was he thinking? He should be thinking about graduation, college, and career. My thoughts were out of control. I told myself to calm down. If you don’t get control of your thoughts you could become a weary, overprotective mother overwhelmed with anxiety and uncontrollable emotions trying to analyze his reasoning, predict his hormone reactions, and manipulate his thinking process.

The truth is I didn’t really know what he was thinking. Therefore, rather than wasting time trying to manipulate his thoughts and make assumptions, I talked to him. I asked him his thoughts on love and relationships. I told him and showed him what God’s word said, and I personally modeled the way in my attitude and actions. I am not naïve. I knew he was not sharing all his thoughts. Did you share all yours with your parents when you were a teenager? Right…

Nevertheless, my responsibility was to teach him the importance of selective thinking; help him learn how to apply biblical principles in his relationships. It was my responsibility to show him that every aspect of life, especially his personal life, is governed by the power of his thoughts—positive or negative. Ultimately, he must learn to manage his thoughts, or they will become the master of his life good or bad, right or wrong.

Controlling our thoughts through selective thinking empowers us to manage life, endure adversity, and be victorious over every situation.

Let’s consider Apostle Paul as our example along with his instructions recorded in Philippians 4. Although he was imprisoned in a Roman jail, he wrote this letter of encouragement to the church at Philippi. He was definitely in a situation where his perspective could have been distorted by his hardships. Unless he had controlled his thoughts through selective thinking, discouragement and disappointment would have been his daily doses of medicine.

How often do we let unfavorable circumstances be the energy that propels negative thinking? In fact, studying Paul’s life, we learn that we cannot allow our mind to be imprisoned by negative thoughts of adverse circumstances. Using selective thinking to control our thoughts enables us to stay encouraged and encourage others to stand firm through difficulties. If Paul had focused on the “down-side” of his situation and restrained his thoughts to the same, he would have given up on sharing the good news (gospel) of Jesus Christ. No doubt, he would have aborted his divine mission. Instead, he chose to live in God-consciousness—seeing from God’s perspective and relying on his personal knowledge of God. Consequently, he experienced the peace of God in the worst of situations and could help others do the same (Philippians 1:12; 4:4-7). Guess what? We can experience this same peace in the midst of adversity through selective thinking—choosing what we think about.

Paul closed his letter to the Philippians with the formula for securing the peace of God through the application of selective thinking—choosing your thoughts.

Here is what he said, “Finally…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).

Also, what I find that’s equally important is Paul’s example of leadership. (v.9, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

As Christians, not only should we be selective in our thoughts but we must remember that our conduct and conversations reveal our thoughts. We are all leaders whether we hold positions and titles or not. We are examples; we are Christian witnesses. Therefore, we must model the way so that others can put into practice what they have learned from us, received or heard from us, and most definitely seen in us. Need I say, we should be modeling Christian character?

Perhaps you’re thinking what a petty example to use my son. But ultimately the point I want to make is this: Even in the simplest things of life we must channel our thoughts so that we add value to our life, our relationships, and our decision-making. Learning to control our thoughts through selective thinking positions and empowers us to offer encouragement, give insight and instructions that lead to purposeful living. After all, what we think is central to who we are, what we do, and how we live.

I was just thinking…
If every Christian accepted a leadership role, by modeling Christ-like character in daily simplistic living, using selective thinking, applying biblical principles, and obeying the Word of God, we could change what the “world” thinks about Christ. And the Presence, Peace, and Power of God would be manifested in and through us to advance the Kingdom of God.

I was just thinking…
What are you thinking?

©2007 Queen E. F. Phillips, Majestic Publishing.  All rights reserved.  Permission granted to reprint, repost for nonprofit purposes only with credit given to copyright owner.

Do you ever feel that life is getting you down? Life is full of ups and downs, isn’t it? What if I was to tell you that meeting difficulty isn’t always a bad thing. What matters more than anything is the way that we deal with it. A positive frame of mind is all important. You see, when we feel positive and well, our physiology and psychology change. Positive thinking is proven to enhance performance in everything we do … both in productivity and quality. Amazing but true!!

How can this be so? A hormone, called serotonin, is secreted when we feel good and good levels of this neuro transmitter not only improve the performance of our brainwaves but also improves our health at the same time.
The knock-on effects of having a positive frame of mind boosts your immune system, with the end result being not only better mental health but physical health too. So anything you can do to bring on these ‘happy’ hormones will bring you many benefits. Exercise is one method … and having positive thoughts is definitely another!!!

Conversely, feeling bad and having negative thoughts can be injurious to our health and can dumb down our immune system. The proof of this is the number of depressed people who are also unwell. Admittedly, nearly all of us feel depressed and unhappy from time to time but how we deal with this usually comes from our default state of mind. If you are normally a person who sees the bottle as half full rather than half empty, you will deal with those depressing and unhappy times in your life much better than the person who sees the bottle as half empty. The choice is yours and you must choose wisely!!! If you decide to choose positive thoughts over negative ones, your body and mind will change accordingly.

Another benefit of having a positive frame of mind is that it helps you to have a ‘can do’ attitude. Ever heard the expression ‘positive people make things happen’? This is due to their ‘can do’ attitude. Positive people see difficulties as challenges to be overcome.

For instance, we are just going through one of the worst recessions for decades, but it is proven that entrepreneurs often do very well in such a climate because they are able to spot opportunities, whereas others see only difficulties and problems. The positive mental attitude of successful business people means that opportunity becomes a reality; because they also have the drive and motivation to succeed and realise their goals in life . So having a positive mental attitude is a real bonus. But naturally, the challenge for a lot of people is in developing one in the first place!

So I beg the question – is it possible to learn a positive frame of mind? If you’re not born with a sunny disposition, is it not possible to attain one? It is true that some people seem to be naturally predisposed to be more positive than others. But I would like to challenge that assumption and say that it is something that is open to anybody and everybody. Anyone, that is, who is prepared to put the effort in to attain it!

Developing a positive frame of mind is not new. The essence of the secret of developing a positive frame of mind lies in a change of mental attitude. We must learn to live on a different thought basis, and even though thought change requires some effort on our part, it can be much easier than continuing to live as we presently are. In fact, a life of strain is far more difficult. The life of inner peace, being harmonious and stress-free, is by far the easiest form of existence.

During my own anxiety-laden days, I would read copiously about the power of the mind to change our existence. I remember reading a transformational passage in the book by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, called ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’. He recalled the fact that many of his patients have nothing wrong with them except their thoughts and he has a favourite prescription that he writes for them. But it is not a prescription that you can get at a drug store or chemists. The prescription he writes is a verse from the Bible: Romans xii. 2. He doesn’t write out the verse himself, he asks his patients to go and look it up. It reads ‘… be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind …’ And the message it gives is ‘to be happier and healthier, they need a renewing of their minds, that is, a change in the pattern of their thoughts’.

Emptying your mind of unhelpful and unhealthy thoughts is not enough unfortunately. When the mind is emptied, something is bound to enter and you don’t want that to be the old, unhappy thoughts you have cast out. To prevent old thought patterns from re-entering, you have to start filling your mind with healthy and creative thoughts. So when your old fears, negative thoughts and worries come back to haunt you, you will effectively find a sign on the door of your mind reading ‘occupied’. It will be a struggle at first, admittedly (and it certainly was for me!) because the old thought patterns have lived in your mind a long time and feel comfortable there. However, the new and healthy thoughts, which you have taken in, will eventually become stronger and better fortified to repel the old thought patterns. Eventually these old thoughts will give up altogether and leave you alone. You will permanently enjoy a mind full of peace and that positive frame of mind you’ve been striving for!

For more information and a complimentary video on how to destroy negative thoughts and raise your self esteem with positive thoughts, please visit http://www.superconfidencenow.com.

A negative mind is as a result of losing control of your thoughts. There are forces all around you channelling your uncontrolled thoughts in their direction. A negative mind sets you back in so many ways and progress is often slow or at times non existent. With a negative mind you think; I can not afford it, it is out of reach, I will never be rich, no one likes me, she is out of my league.  I could go on; you know what you are thinking! There is a battle going in your mind and you need to win it!

Deep embedded in your mind there are beliefs you may not be aware of that are driving your life. If you look closely at yourself and the life decisions that you have made through the years you can come to a conclusion on how your mind works.  For example your marriage and your cycle of friends is a good indicator. If the people you looked up to let you down during your childhood and you have never forgiven yourself and them; chances are you will attract a partner with the same characters as those you are trying to get away from. Because you are concentrating on what these people or a people treat you rather than how you would have liked to be treated, you are attracting negativity.

With a negative mind acceptance of self and self power is seen as selfish or arrogant. A negative mind drives your thinking to no or little self worth; you think I do not believe I deserve mega success. You are convinced it has to be a struggle to manifest anything. You project success, happiness, joy and riches to other people by thinking they are more gifted or lucky and therefore you should not try.

Every day we are faced by so many choices, you make a choice depending on your beliefs, reality and dreams. These choices are limited by the way you think. A negative mind will evolve in your choices for years until you choose to change it. I always look at these choices as doors in front of me not knowing what is on the other side.  Getting in is always the easy part whether it is a positive or negative choice but exiting may take years. Using the power of your mind will determine how long you take to overcome any challenges in your life.

The subject of how our minds work is a huge one. There is a lot written on how to control a negative mind but often no emphasis is put on the causes. If you try to cure something without knowing its origins, you often get no where. As the saying goes ‘Prevention is better than cure’. Knowing the causes of a negative mind will no doubt make prevention the goal. To find these causes, often means facing up to yourself which can be challenging but rewarding.

A negative mind affects all aspects of a life and efforts should be made to take control or prevent it. In extreme circumstance it may lead to debilitating illnesses and suicide. There is a story on our free video of someone who thought themselves to death. Crikey! That’s not a joke! Find out more by visiting: www.innermagnet.com.

Writing on the subject is a hobby I took up recently after experiencing the effects of uncontrolled thoughts. I am still learning and I would love a lot of people to join me on this journey. Find me at: www.innermagnet.com

No one likes to be sad. But being sad like many perceived negative thoughts and emotions can be beneficial in many ways! From Metro

It turns out that glum people such as Jack Dee actually hold the key to success in life, because scientists say that bad moods improve memory, make you less gullible and improve your judgment.

Think that news is too good to be true? Well, lighten up and pay attention to psychology professor Joseph Forgas from the University of New South Wales. He found in a study he conducted into negative thinking that moody sorts have plenty of positive attributes.

‘Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, cooperation, and reliance on mental shortcuts, negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking paying greater attention to the external world,’ Forgas wrote.

Our research suggests that sadness promotes information processing strategies best suited to dealing with more demanding situations.’

For the study, published in the Australasian Science journal, Forgas and his team conducted several experiments that started with inducing happy or sad moods in their subjects through watching films and recalling positive or negative events.

In one of the experiments, happy and sad participants were asked to judge the truth of urban myths and rumors and found that people in a negative mood were less likely to believe these statements.

People in a bad mood were also less likely to make snap decisions based on racial or religious prejudices, and they were less likely to make mistakes when asked to recall an event that they witnessed.

The study also found that sad people were better at stating their case through written arguments. Forgas said that this showed a ‘mildly negative mood may actually promote a more concrete, accommodative and ultimately more successful communication style’.

‘Positive mood is not universally desirable: people in negative mood are less prone to judgmental errors, are more resistant to eyewitness distortions and are better at producing high-quality, effective persuasive messages,’ Forgas wrote.

So, don’t worry – be gloomy!

As I’ve always stated, just because you’re not a positive person, doesn’t mean you can’t get positive results. Everything we do has value in it. In this instant world, where people just want the answers and never have to think of the question’s true meaning, we dismiss many thoughts because we can’t recognize their worth right away.

So the next time your sad, start making some decisions. Odds are, you’ll take the time to think things through better than when you’re a happy camper.

Sidebar – Why are campers happy? I’ve been camping. It’s a miserable experience. My back hurts from sleeping on the ground, if I even get sleep with all the nature making creepy noises outside the tent! I prefer a nice hotel room. Instead of hanging your food in a tree to prevent bears from stealing it, you can use the safe.

Good morning to everyone.  I’ve know one story of my cousin’s friend and I want to share it with you as you may use it in you spiritual stamina.

My cousin have an unusual friend named Jac—unusual because she has the ability to weather the storms of life without getting pulled under.  During a crisis in of my cousin’s own life, she turned to Jac for help.  She took a plaque from her bedroom wall and handed it with her.

“It’s a program she started in the morning and continue all day,” explaining the list of directions on the plaque.

She copied them down—12 exercises for body, mind and soul.  She changed the emphasis here and there and started using them herself.  In a matter of weeks, she noticed the difference.  Daily irritations no longer upset her;  she gained more patience and confidence.

Perhaps you will want to use your imagination in adapting this spiritual daily dozen to your own needs.

Relax – See your burdens dropping away.

Stretch – Mentally reach for the good that is yours.

Inhale – Breathe in all the beauty your soul can take.

Exhale – Expel critical and negative thoughts.

Think – Develop one healthy, constructive thought and hold onto it all day long.

Look – Seek one good quality in each person you encounter.

Listen – Hear the voice of God in some aspect of nature.

Walk – Let your step follow His direction.

Talk – Speak kindness to one less fortunate than you.

Smile – And watch the effect on each person you meet.

Love – An all-day heart exercise with others.

Pray – Communicate with God throughout the day.

Did you know that when you say something about someone else or their life in a negative manner you are creating resistance in your own life?  Let’s say you see someone spending money and living life in a way that you would never do it.  You state either out loud or to yourself how horrible they are about spending money like they do.  This thought and feeling will cause a resistance within your own self about having money come to you.  You are building a vibration full of critical, negative thoughts of others and money and that is what is emitting from you into the Universe.  The Universe picks up your vibration and begins to put things together for the same vibration to come back to you in some form.  The more you criticize the more resistance you create within your own self and what comes into your own life. This goes for any kind of critical thought toward another.  How about observing what someone does and let it go at that.  Figure out what you would or wouldn’t do that they are doing and move on from there.  No negative thoughts or feelings.  This will create a flowing energy vibration of ‘allowing’ and it is another way to find the positive in life by not commenting on others’ behaviors.

We’re celebrating all through the weekend!  Today is our oldest daughter’s birthday.  We’re starting out with whole wheat pecan pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon then tonight will be her favorite…chicken and dumplings!  This was the day that my first little girl was born.  I can’t tell you the joy she brings to my life.

We knew she was special when a bat flew out of the room when she was born.  hee hee

Enjoy your day!

www.bethandleemccain.com

Life is full of all types of different poison, but I think the number 1 poison that we feed ourselves is the thoughts that we think! If we could overcome all of the negative thoughts that we produce inside our little minds we could all be great! It is that simple, but we are programmed to beat ourselves up constantly.

So how can we change? When we are able to recognized these thoughts (become aware when you are thinking them) you can start to automatically change them to whatever your heart desires, but first you have to be aware you are doing it! The more focused and aware you become of your thoughts, the greater a person you can become!

Why? because you have no limitations any longer holding you back! I promise you that the more focused and aware you become the easier it gets! I have always been an optimist, but for a few years I got caught up with those little lies that we tell ourselves after being hurt or doing something that we are not proud of and it just continues to become worse over time if you let it! 

We really just do not realize how lucky we are to have a choice about everything in life. We choose our future, it does not choose us! So if you are being retarded and beating your self up with negative thoughts, get over it and start being free with me!

If you can master this, you will be able to free yourself of any bad habit; including  drugs,overeating, smoking, you name it… can be done and it is that simple!

What is your #1 poison? I would love to know! let’s rid you of it now!

Remember: We are only as good as we think we are and that is a fact!

Have you ever been, or are you at that place, where you are constantly down on yourself about your weight?  Or, are you a yo-yo… up and down, up and down… doing well for a while only to find yourself back at that dreaded place of no consistency in exercise and eating right?

Are you constantly asking yourself these questions or making these statements:

• Why can’t I just lose some weight?
• Why can’t I find the time to workout?
• I hate working out, and I especially hate cardio.
• I don’t have time to workout… I have to work at my job.
• I like to sleep in, and I don’t have time otherwise.
• I am a wife and mom… I just don’t have time.
• I have medical issues… diabetes… fibromyalgia… slow metabolism… depression… etc.
• I have always been fat and that’s just the way it’s going to be.
• I don’t have any energy.
• Learning how to eat clean is too complicated.
• I want my foods to taste good, so I can’t eat that stuff!
• Eating clean is too expensive.
• I just don’t have the willpower.

You have embedded these negative questions and statements into your mind for one reason or another.  Either you “tried” at one time and didn’t get the results you wanted.  Or, you didn’t like to workout and plan your meals properly.  Whatever the reason for the embedded thoughts, you know that you are still unhappy about your weight or how you feel.  As motivational speaker and author Zig Ziglar would call this “Stinkin Thinkin!”  LOL!  You know that the only way that you are going to shed the fat, look great, and feel good is by exercising and eating right.  Therefore, you need to change the way you think. 

How do you change the way you think?  As expert and elite trainer Tom Venuto would say:

“You must master your communication with yourself.  You must take charge of your self-talk, ‘police your thinking,’ and literally re-program your brain for success.”

Instead of asking or telling yourself the above negative thoughts, replace them with the following thoughts:

• What exercises and food will help me lose fat?
• I will set my clock and workout this morning (or this evening).
• I will feel exhilarated after my workout (or cardio) today.
• I will stop by the gym on my way home after work.
• I will set my clock to workout early this morning because I know it will give me extra energy and make me sleep better tonight.
• I will have more energy to do wonderful things with my family when I workout and eat right.
• I will overcome my medical issues through exercise and clean eating.
• I will overcome obesity and be the healthy woman I want to be.
• I will change my taste buds and enjoy the foods that are good for me.
• I will spice up my foods so that healthy eating is better than than junky and processed foods.
• I will find that quality foods are less expensive because they fill me up better than junky foods, nor will I be eating out as often.
• I will overcome and find that “FIRE” within me!

God has nothing to do with lack.  God is full of abundance.  God, the Universe, has nothing to do with scarcity in our life.  It is our own consciousness that creates the negative aspects in our life.  Each and every thing in our outer physical world is only second to our inner eternal world of consciousness.  It is our own attention that we place on scarcity and lack that change our physical world into a world of lack.  Change your own belief of what you desire your life to be.  Change your consciousness to reflect the Universe that is full of abundance and you will have just that.

Got back from Mom’s appointment kind of late.  She is going to have to continue treatment for cancer so after we got the game plan the girls and I took her out to dinner and went shopping.  Mom doesn’t shop too much these days but it was her first real trip out since surgery and she had so much fun.  Her birthday is this Monday and we’ll be celebrating big this year.  She always tells me not to buy her anything but lights up like a little girl when you give her a gift or two so this year we’re piling her with gifts…all the things a girl could want!

Today I’ll be back at RADIO LOA interviews and catching up a bit so guess it’s time to go get a cup of coffee and some oatmeal with raisins and pecans.

I wanted to send a thank you out to Deb.  Thank you for your wonderful gifts that you sent Lee, Peanut,  and I.  The office was jealous!   Janet said, “What…no cookies for me?!”  She tried to take the candy corn comedian that was meant for Peanut and Peanut said, “This is mine Janet but you can play with it if you want!”  Such a nice surprise.

www.bethandleemccain.com

Hi everyone!

Today’s post is very appropriate as Fat Talk Free Week is coming to a close. Check out the video—it has a wonderful message.

It’s about JUDGMENT.

Let’s face it. We judge. Not only others, but we judge ourselves as well. These are some of the ways I judge:

“Wow, that woman really shouldn’t be wearing such a revealing, tight blouse.”

“Oh, my God! I’m so fat that I can’t even zip up these pants anymore!”

“They are too conceited and obnoxious. Who do they think they are?”

“If only I was more ambitious, I could be making more money right now.”

As you can see, most of these judgments are negative and are putting someone down. Honestly, I do see myself as a positive and optimistic person. But when I think about all the negative judgments that go through my head in a day, it makes me second guess myself.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s all about to change!!!

Nothing will stop a judgment but the AWARENESS that it is indeed a judgment. In Geneen Roth’s book Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating, she states, “When I tell myself I’m fat, my response is to eat more, not less.” How true is this? Negative thoughts only bring on more negative behavior.

Judgments alone do not lead to change. Change can only happen if we actively participate in our lives. The process of mentally, emotionally, and physically joining ourselves on this journey will create awareness.

We have to learn HOW to work with our judgments so that we don’t continually live in REACTION to them.

TRY THIS! Write a list of negative judgments that you have. Then for every judgment, write a positive counter judgment.

For example, here’s my list:

Just writing it out is very therapeutic. Try to challenge your judgments with your counter judgments anytime you feel the urge to judge.

Instead of living passively in reaction to our judgments, it is time for us to take control and have a positive attitude. You can train your mind to think positively. After a while, it will be natural. A positive attitude causes a CHAIN REACTION of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a CATALYST…a spark that creates extraordinary results!

Do you have awareness when you judge? Have you tried the “Judgment—Counter Judgment list”? Did it work for you?

Self-confidence may seem like a far-off and unreachable goal, but it can actually be achievable with several small steps.

1.  SET GOALS
 

As with anything you want to achieve, building confidence will be easier if you set specific goals.  Whether you want to be confident enough to be president of an organization or simply give a presentation at the next department meeting, you can then create an action plan for achieving this goal.  

2.  TAKE SMALL STEPS

Going along with the idea of setting goals, if you’re not feeling confident, you will be much more likely to achieve your desired level of confidence by taking small steps.  Tell yourself that you will smile and shake hands with everyone you meet today or promise that you will offer your opinion on an issue at the next board meeting.  This is much more likely to lead to success and start you on the path to confidence than jumping straight to a more daunting task like giving the keynote speech at a national conference.

3.  WORK ON YOUR CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS 

Improving your conversational skills can help you feel more comfortable and confident in any social situation which will lead to larger confidence overall.  If you practice maintaining eye contact and being a good listener, you will also give off a more confident aura and you can enjoy the benefits of being treated as a confident person.  

4.  GET INVOLVED

When you become involved in an organization, project or committee, the new experiences, improved skills and chances for leadership and personal development can help improve confidence.  Think about joining a professional organization, signing up for a committee at work or volunteering your time at a worthwhile organization.  

5.  USE POSITIVE IMAGERY AND SELF -TALK 

The road to self-confidence is primarily a mental exercise.  Visualizing yourself as a confident person is one way to create a confident mentality.  Positive affirmations are another way of building confidence.  Tell yourself that you are a confident person and don’t give negative thoughts room to grow.

6.  SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP 

Motivational speakers make their living from helping people make the most of their lives, which often involves helping their listeners build confidence.  If you can’t attend a seminar in person, many speakers also offer DVDs and CDs of their motivational performances.  Numerous self-help books are also available that can lead you to helpful strategies for building confidence.  Life coaches provide one-on-one help to assist customers in reaching their potential.  If there are more deep-seated issues getting in the way of feeling confident, you may wish to look into counseling or psychiatric help.  Depression and other illnesses can decimate your self-confidence, and simply thinking positive thoughts or attending a motivational talk aren’t enough to feel better.

7.  PRACTICE A CONFIDENT ATTITUDE 

You may have heard this sentiment expressed as, “fake it ’til you make it.”  The truth is that you can gain confidence by acting like a confident person.  Nobody needs to know that you’re cringing underneath your confident façade.  Eventually you’ll no longer need to pretend.  The success you experience from acting confident and the confident habits you’ve developed will lead to true confidence.

8.  LOOK FOR CONFIDENT ROLE MODELS 

Whether you turn to co-workers, friends, family members or celebrities for inspiration, finding confident role models can help you become more confident yourself.  It’s best if the person if you have real-life contact with the person you’re looking to emulate, but you can still get an idea of a celebrity’s personality and confidence-building strategies through interviews and books.

9.  TRY NEW THINGS 

New experiences can give you confidence by helping you grow as a person. You don’t have to take up skydiving or anything drastic like that.  Starting a new hobby or taking a class is more likely to help you develop lasting skills anyway.

10.  BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF 

Having an essentially positive attitude toward yourself is key to gaining confidence.  You must be happy with the person you are, from your personality to your appearance, before you can truly be confident.  

Gaining confidence requires hard work and dedication but it doesn’t have to be impossible if you take it one step at a time. for a free video on improving your self confidence please visit our sponsor

In the very near future you will look back on this part of your life and feel appreciative of it.  Whether you are experiencing a wonderful time in your life or a difficult time, you are experiencing and expanding who you are.  If you are having a confusing time instead of regret, condemnation, or blame you will realize that you will have a new way of life and it was because of what you are experiencing right now. Your new desire of the life you want will come out of this part of your life and take you to new levels of physical manifestations that you would not have been able to achieve without seeing the contrast of the life you are living now. Be appreciative for your experiences whether they are negative or positive. Each experience leads us to something more we can create born out of contrast.

I woke up early this morning and watched the sunrise through the clouds.  Blues, pinks, purples, and some hints of white.  The Universe put on an living art show for me this morning.  Such beautiful colors…this is going to be a good day!  All the days are good when you see the experience in each moment and actually ‘be’ within it.  I love this Universe.

www.bethandleemccain.com

Normally, I tell everyone a fallback position is a good thing to have while you’re shooting for a difficult goal. But in this case, try not having a fallback position that is more difficult than your main objective. If you’re going to be disappointed, it doesn’t help to be left with a situation even more disappointing!

If we are really honest with ourselves there have been quite a few occasions in our lives when we have been angry. Just looking around at the world we can see anger is quite a common emotion. Walk down any street in the world and we can witness anger whichever way we turn, from road rage to parents losing it with their children. After all anger is part of the human condition. However, we tend to associate anger as being among the negative emotion set. This is not exactly true, for anger comes in more than one form.

If we sat and thought about it anger can actually be a great motivator and push you on to achieve things you normally would not try for. We have all felt that hot flush in our cheeks when we have been put down by somebody, so you will know what I am talking about here.  Anger can sometimes make people stand up for what they believe in; it is anger that led to the civil rights movement, the emancipation of women and many other causes too many to mention. When we deal with anger it does not necessarily make us placid.

What we need to do is judge the difference between unhealthy and healthy anger. We have just visited healthy anger so let’s now concentrate on unhealthy anger. This form of anger is characterised by rage and hate in response to the mildest provocation. People who possess anger on this level find it immensely difficult to control. It can make forming relationships impossible, and cause breakdowns in current ones. There are many people in the world who end up in jail or borstal because of their inability to control their emotional response to someone angering them.

It is likely that you may feel uncomfortable being in the company of other people. Individuals who get angry all the time often do so at other people, for that reason they often find themselves feeling isolated and cut off from others. Being close to this type of anger is a pretty unpleasant experience for everyone.

This type of anger typically results fight breaking out for no apparent reason, but that is not all. Scheming, taking revenge, manipulating others, are all associated with people with anger issues. Warning signals include an increased heart beat and muscular tension in the shoulders. This type of uncontrollable anger can be very overwhelming and consuming.

If you really want to overcome this type of anger you are going to have to seriously start changing your outlook on the world. As with any emotion, anger is underpinned by your attitudes and belief systems. Do not think it is good enough just to say you want to be less angry about things. Let us think for a moment about the type of negative thoughts that belong to someone with severe anger issues. At some point you must have found yourself thinking: “No one is going to stand in the way of what I want “or “The world had not ever be unfair especially to me?”

You should see it important to reshape your attitudes and beliefs you have to accommodate the world around you, instead of living just for yourself. One very important question you should ask yourself is: what type of person is it that you want to be? If you are happy and successful and emotionally healthy you are more likely to be more tolerant and accepting of others. 

For a complimentary video showing you step-by-step how to overcome negative

thinking patterns please visit www.self-esteem-activation.com

Since yesterday was a holiday, I missed out on a media monday post. Thankfully, the Daily Show more than makes up for it. Jon Stewart rightfully questions CNN’s inability to ask the probing questions and wonders why a 24-hour news channel never seems to have enough time.

It’s 7:30 pm and I feel drained. I’m sitting on my bed with semi-quiet time (my four year old is straddling me while I try to type this, I can’t see the screen- the older two are watching Gulliver’s Travels with their dad).

It’s one of those days where I just feel BLAH- unmotivated, impatient, uninspired, ungrateful. Not a good place to be. I feel weary of potty accidents, toothpaste smears, crayons on walls and little kid messes in every corner (as well as every other place). I question my ability to nurture, love, mentor and model. Who am I and what am I really teaching to my children by my actions?

Add to that my mental list of ‘to-dos’ that grows progressively longer as my time ‘to-get-done’ seems to shorten. I’m feeling the pressure of never ‘catching up’ and of ‘not being good enough’ to do it all.

How did I get here, and more importantly, how do I get out of it?

I don’t like days like this. I like to feel in charge (of myself). I know I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I know that I can at least control how I feel about it. When I don’t feel that I’m in charge of those thoughts and emotions, that’s when things seem the most ‘out of sorts.’

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

It starts when I begin to focus my energy (thoughts, which result in feelings) on the negative things, rather than feeling gratitude for what I have. It can be the smallest thing. Today it began when my husband interrupted my meditation with questions about something he was doing (he was even doing it for me!).

It starts out that small, like a pebble in a shoe, or a bur under the saddle. A slight irritation, but if it’s not removed, then it really starts to fester. I didn’t remove it.

Later, my daughter was helping me plan a family activity for that night. She was struggling with some numbers that I thought she should/did already know. I allowed my inner concerns about outside opinions influence my behavior toward her.

I believe that each child is unique, and they grow and advance at their own pace, developing each skill as they are ready and have need of it. Rather than accepting where she is in her learning development, I let others expectations of where she ’should’ be, and my comparisons with where her peers and siblings are, negatively influence my behavior. I forced her, tried to manipulate her, and generally treated her harshly.

My pebble has now created an open wound that’s become very unpleasant. Attention on the negatives has resulted in an overall bad mood.

Like Attracts Like

It’s not even lunch time, but I’m already feeling like a bear. Which only results in further irritation with nearly everything that happens that day. The kids are making too much noise and too many messes, the house is a disaster, too much of this, too little of that, not enough time, too much to do!

The more I find fault, the more I find to find fault with. So the day goes from bad to worse until I’m in tears and feeling a need to escape.

Now I’m here at my computer, analyzing the day, wondering where I went wrong. I can finally think clearly, and figure out what to (hopefully) not do again.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I’ve heard it so much, it really a cliché. Focus on what you’re grateful for, and you’ll feel better. I’ll be honest, I did try it a couple of times throughout the day, and it did work. For a couple of minutes, while I consciously focused on those things. But then I stopped, and the ‘doom and gloom’ returned. Fast.

Am I really serious about changing my mood when it’s less than pleasant? Or do I enjoy feeling self-pity once in awhile? If I sincerely want to change it, then I need to make more than a paltry effort at it. I need to have an attitude of gratitude, not just a thought of gratitude (usually fleeting).

Earl Nightingale, in his very famous (and very fabulous) program entitle The Magic Word speaks about the power of attitude. He says that our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude toward us. “Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.“

When my attitude is poor, then my relationships are poor, my life is poor. As Nightingale says, “What’s going on in the inside shows on the outside.” Poor attitude, poor results. Fair attitude, fair to average results. Excellent attitude, excellent results.

When I choose to focus on what’s right with my life, instead of what’s wrong with it, then invariably I feel a whole lot better, and feeling better leads to living better.

(If you haven’t listened to The Magic Word by Earl Nightingale, I highly recommend it. I think I’m going to listen to it again. It’s only about 30 minutes.)

“We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.”

Do you have days like this? What do you do about it? Do you try to get out of it? How? Please share your thoughts/comments.