…..to love me.

This blog may seem a little cynical but bear/bare with me.  Part of my job entails that I read obituaries.  Daily.  And part of my job takes me in to homes with older folks.  Often they are sick, or impaired in some way, or just old.  Often they talk to me of being ready to die.  More often we talk about the care they are, or are not, getting from family.  I sit and talk with these folks and some of them are so lonely.  They know the time they have on this earth is limited.  They accepted that a long time ago.  But being alone, or lonely is the more appropriate term, bothers them more.  Some of them are “ready” for death.  They have worn out their bodies, or they don’t care, or they really do care and most of the life they lived is waiting for them somewhere else.  More often than not I visit with these folks and try to help them find help to take care of basic needs.  Sometimes the most basic, comfort from a caring human voice or touch, is the hardest to find.  Sometimes we can find the way to make a difference at this point in their lives.  Sadly, sometimes we can not.

Then they die.

Then miraculously there is an obituary filled with loving and deeply saddened family and friends.

Really?

This just got me to thinking about all of us.  Yes, you, me, and the older folks living out their days.  Waiting for someone to love them again.

Why do they, or we, have to die to get the love?

This may seem a little over dramatic if you have not seen it first hand.  If you have not been in a situation where someone literally has no food, no way to the doctor, nothing.  I had one little lady tell me (actually more than her but she sticks in my head) that I was the only one she talked to for weeks at a time.  I was thrilled to know that meals would be delivered on a daily basis just so someone would say “Hi Mary” to her on a daily basis. 

But it made me think.  Why do we not tell others what they mean to us?  I tell my husband and children and mom everytime I talk to them that I love them, I kiss them goodbye, goodnight, hello.  I know that recently I have tried to tell people every day simple things like “you make me happy”, “you make me smile”, “you make me think”, “I am happy you are in my life”.  I think I started too late in life.  Letting people know you love them is such a simple thing.  I think love is under rated, over worked and totally misrepresented sometimes. 

You know what?  I do love the people in my life.  My friends, yes, I love them.  Do I love them the same as I love my husband?  No, not at all.  But man I love them.  I love their lives and their goals and their quirks and their existence.  I love my brothers and sisters and their spouses and their children.   I love the people in my kids lives because they are in my kids lives.  I love the people who pray for others.  I love the people who need prayed for.  It’s not about a love fest.  It’s about the genuiness and basic meaning of love.  Do I love everyone?  No.  But if I did, I would be a better person. 

I have family members and friends who everytime they hug someone they say “I love you”.  At first I didn’t get it.  You love me?  Why?  What did I do for you?  I think I get it now.  Because I can easily say “I love you too”.  These people in my life are here and working and playing and trying to do the best they can.  Just like I am.   I love that effort.  Effort at living and doing right.  I think we should start a movement.  “LOVE WHILE WE’RE ALIVE” movement.  I don’t want to wait until you are dead to let you know you mattered to me.  Further more, I don’t want to be dead and have everyone express that they loved me and will miss me.  I don’t want everyone else to know how I mattered to you, when I don’t even know.  SHouldn’t I know, I mean, how can you say it, if it wasn’t real between us? 

I’m not talking about mushy, fake, air kiss kind of stuff.  I’m talking about stuff like:  David, you make my life so easy by doing so much for me, and there is no way to tell you how much I appreciate you and your love.  Brittany I admire your mothering abilities and wish I was half the mom you are.  Nessie you have no idea how much it means to me when you turn to me for comfort.  Mom how in the world do I ever thank you enough for having  me and loving me this entire life of mine.  Brothers and sisters you and I came from the same and though are paths are varied your love is something I need every day and knowing I can count on it gives me strength.  Ben the very idea that you take time to talk to me and process thoughts even though my thoughts are usually scattered makes me happy beyond belief, you know how I admire you.  Ashley your talents and very real persona  honor me every day when you thank me, when I have felt that you have taught me more.  Maggie you have a heart that is genuine and giving and pure and I can’t live without knowing this ever again.  Molly you inspire me to do more and be more not just by what you do but with your faith and sharing of it, you shore up my own.  Cindy you put beauty in my life long before I even recognized it and I have depended on you for more than you know.  Gracie, my little Queen Grannia` you have given me renewed life. 

Was that so hard?  No, but there are many more that I need to speak to.  But I hope to do it on a daily basis.  If I thank you for making me smile, or teaching me something, or tolerating something it is my own part in starting and keeping the “LOVE WHILE YOU’RE ALIVE” movement going. 

I really don’t expect everyone to change over night.  But if you read this tonight, tomorrow or whenever, please tell someone every day that they matter.  It doesn’t have to be grand.  Or mushy.  Just genuine. 

Please don’t wait until I’m dead.  You can tell everyone else at that point, but I won’t have a clue.

There are some things that I remember from October 21, 1985.  Things that mom’s do not typically forget.  The first was of course that Brittany was born.

Though actually it is the first thing I recall of that day, it is not the first “thing” that day.

The first “thing” was waking up to a severe back pain.  But I had been experiencing this severe pain for a couple of weeks or longer.  It was so bad I was losing weight while being 9 months pregnant.  I could not sit still, stand still or lay still.  It hurt.  I would sit down, it would be okay for a few minutes and I would have to move.  So I moved.  More so than any other time of my life up to  that point.  I made myself two over easy eggs.  Toast.  I had a doctor’s appointment.  I figured I would be having this baby soon.  I was convinced it was a boy.  The doctor had guessed a girl.

I had to ride to the doctor appointment on my knees facing the back of the car because I could not sit down with the back pain.  I go to the doctor and he says let’s admit you.  I’ll come over after the office closes.  We’ll have this baby today.  I appreciated his effort at taking some of the responsibility of having this baby.  Though “we” did not share in the pain.   But that’s okay because the pain is part of the love that was in my life for this baby.  No one else had the joy of this pain just for her.  I would do it again.    I go over to the hospital.  Not quite prepared for this experience.  Waiting for it for EVER and now it’s here.  I would have gladly gotten up and said “yeah well, let’s put this off a week or so”.  Because NOW is the moment.  NOW is reality.  This baby is going to depend on me for EVERYTHING.  FOR EVER.  OH MY GOD. 

Doctor comes in, and by the way, he is really hot.  Anyway, he checks on me.  Leaves.  Comes back.  Leaves.  The nurse hooks up all of the monitors and shows me how to read the monitor.  Look here, says she, when this line goes up you are having a contraction.  She was not happy with me when I told her to turn it around – HAVING the contraction was enough, I did not need to see it also.  She really did not understand that.  I’m not sure why she thought I would not be aware of the contraction.  I did not have any drugs in me.  No epideral.  Just pure and simple PAIN.  I think I got it.

Though even without the pain medicine I was passing out between contractions.  Kind of.  Not totally.  I was still aware of her dad sitting there eating Lays potato chips and drinking Coke while I was in labor.  And he was watching tv.  But in all fairness to him doing those things, what else, exactly, could he have been doing.  (Note-sarcasm is sometimes appropriate).

Oh around 11 pm Doctor comes back in.  We go to have a baby.  I have the baby at 11:18 pm, and passed out very briefly.  When I came to the nurses were gathered around her doing the clean up and measuring.  There was comfort in coming to with the nurses all gathered around the baby and laughing.  Happy laughing.  They took joy in that baby.   They took joy in her health and her happiness.  Baby of Mine was the happiest baby from the get go.  Finally after what seemed like another 9 months of waiting…..

They bring her back to me.

I can not describe this moment.  So I will let it be, between me and my baby.

Now I am a mom.  What was God thinking?  Oh Yes we have free will, so…. okay…. what was I thinking?  How do I do this?  Oh is she incredible or what?  Okay, like everything else we do, we do this one day at a time.  That’s why God only gives us one day to live, at a time.  So that was my plan.  I can do it that way.

A nurse comes in the next day.  What are you going to name her?  I do not know.  We had had a name picked out but due to a sad and tragic event in someone else’s life we do not use that name.  She said her grand daughter was just born in Texas and they named her Brittany.  And she left.  I looked at the baby.  My baby.  And there was Brittany.

We bring her home.  And one day at a time I take care of her.  It’s the best I could do.  I think I did okay.  I think she did okay.  I think she is great.

Brittany was born.  My mom life began.  It is always the first thing, and the best thing, I remember for this day.

Nessie was a few years away but I’ll save that story for her day.

Nessie is shortlisted for world architecture Award

The Twilight series is of course a fun read with drool-worthy heros and nerve-wracking action, but, as with most vampire novels, it asks some deeper questions about life as well. I thought we could wrap a weekend with some of the deeper side of our beloved novels. My friends and I have debated these things extensively, so I’ll share my side of the conversation below.

A question that’s come to my mind recently is whether fate or free will rules the Twilight universe. I personally subscribe to the belief that fate and free will cannot coexist because if things are fated to happen no matter what, our choices ultimately have no impact on the final outcome. So riddle me this: Alice’s constantly shifting visions imply that the characters’ choices impact the future – free will. However, Bella and Edward are supposed to be fated for each other, especially if you’ve read the AMAZING Midnight Sun (Please finish it, Steph! Please *puppy dog eyes* - and if you *haven’t* read MS I HIGHLY reccommend it. It’s AMAZING, as I’ve already said) because Edward realizes that Bella was made in just such a way as to make it impossible for him to ignore her (her scent, her silent mind, etc) and Bella was “born to be a vampire” (see part 3 of Breaking Dawn, around the part where she’s gleefully smashing the giant rock to smithereens) which suggests that fate is controlling things.

I personally think that free will rules the real world and the Twilight world. Choice is a HUGE factor in the series – Edward’s (bad) choice to leave in an attempt to save Bella from what he deems a terrible fate, Bella’s choice to sacrifice Jacob and the life she could have had as a human to become a vampire and be with Edward for eternity, her choice to fight for Renesmee (and her choice to *name* her Renesmee ). None of these were easy choices, but they were made nonetheless. The fact that they found them worth fighting for is what gave them the impression that it was all fated. Bella was great as a vampire because she’d been mentally preparing for it almost since she met Edward. His inability to hear her mind stemmed from nothing more han the latent power that some humans possess and her blood smelled sweet to everyone, not just Edward. But that’s just me. What do you guys think?

Another interesting aspect of the Twi world is the concept of soulmates and whether Edward and Bella’s relationship is immature (I’ve heard this from a lot of people who clearly do not understand Twilight).

(This was in response to a friend’s comment – I’m sure you can infer what they said): You find Edward’s suicide attempt immature when he thought the sole reason for his existence was dead and he was in immense pain, but Jake threatening to kill himself to get Bella to KISS him and pick him over his competition was fine? I can see how it may seem like immature and irrational love on the surface, but you have to take into account his century of immortal experience. Also, since vampires are essentially frozen in time, for them to experience a real change, it has to be a MAJOR thing. Falling in love isn’t the same for them as it is for a human. I think they have their own equivalent of imprinting, except it’s not caused by the need to create stronger wolves. Which I think lends it more credibility as “the real thing”. Do you think Carlisle and Esme’s love is immature? They’ve never been put through the things Edward and Bella go though, so we don’t really know how they would react, but I’d be willing to bet it’d be very similar. The extra from Rosalie’s point of view makes me think she’d try the same thing if something happened to Emmett. Alice was willing to risk her brother and Bella (who she loved like a sister even before she met her, as evinced in MS) to save Jasper in New Moon. Age doesn’t mean much when you’re immortal, so I think it’s hard to apply our concept of “maturity” to the situation.

See, I kinda feel like threatening to kill yourself, even if you’re not actually gonna do it, is still exceptionally immature. It’s like a little kid holding their breath til they get their way.

I agree that centuries of experience would lead to greater maturity. That was part of my point. I get the sense that you think Edward/Bella’s relationship is immature because of all the typical “teenage” stuff, but Bella is an “old soul” and Edward is literally an old soul – 108 to be exact lol.

It’s not love at first sight. That’s a wolfy thing. Edward didn’t even realize he was falling in love with Bella for a long time. In fact, he didn’t realize it. He had it pointed out to him. (Hilariously, I might add). And just because it’s first love doesn’t mean it’s not true love. For vampires, first love is all there is because they’re frozen, constant creatures. Change is enduring and there’s no going back. First love in the human sense is sort of looked down upon because it fades over time, but in it’s initial stages it is a powerful, powerful thing. And for vampires, that powerful feeling lasts conceivably for all time. Isn’t our idealistic definition of “true love” love that lasts forever? Again, it’s an ideal. That’s why it’s fantasy. Well, that and the vampires and werewolves. And Bella and Edward’s relationship did take work (more than most, all things considered) and did evolve with time, which is what I’m gathering your definition of true love to be (correct me if I’m wrong). Edward has this internal war going on from the very beginning because he knows there’s only two possible ends: He’ll kill her himself or she’ll have to be a vampire one day. Neither one was a viable option to him, so he feels like he has to do SOMETHING. So, in the beginning, they have this constant threat of him leaving to save her from all the dark things he thinks he’s going to bring into her life, which makes them both uncertain in their relationship. Then, he manages to leave and all kinds of things result from that decision. To quote Steph:

“I didn’t realize until I was working on the resolution how much my characters had gained from this experience. Vital stuff. Without this painful separation, Bella might never have realized that Edward really is hers to keep. No matter how perfect she thinks he is, or how imperfect she thinks she is, he belongs to her. Words can’t quite capture the life-changing nature of this knowledge for Bella.  Equally as cataclysmic—Edward finally realizes the intensity of Bella’s feelings for him, something he has always underestimated. Here’s the thing about Edward: he knows human nature pretty well. He’s seen a hundred thousand human relationships from the inside, and none of them have come close to touching the depth and everlasting devotion of Carlisle’s and Esme’s love, or Alice’s and Jasper’s, or even Rosalie’s and Emmett’s. Can you blame him for thinking himself—after one hundred years of immortal experience—capable of a more profound love than his eighteen-year-old human girlfriend? Edward is, understandably, a bit of a know-it-all. He learns a lot through this experience, the most important being that Bella’s feelings for him are an exception to the human rule. Something else he learns (not quite as important, but still good to know) is that, despite all his knowledge, he is fully able to make hideous mistakes in judgment.”

And then, there’s Jacob. Possibly the biggest challenge their relationship faced. She had a choice. She loved someone else. It wasn’t like she fell in love with Edward and rode off into the sunset without ever looking at another man. Their relationship had trials and tribulations, just like any human one does. To quote Steph again, “In both Twilight and New Moon, Bella commits to becoming a vampire without once really examining what price she’ll pay. In Eclipse, Bella fully comprehends that price. And then she chooses to pay it.”

Why? Because to her Edward is worth it.

Another discussion topic was about the finer points of imprinting:

How did Bella’s romantic feelings for Jake just vanish? It makes sense that he got over her because of the imprinting thing, but she really did love him in more than just a brotherly way and at the end of Eclipse she says that the tear he left in her heart would always be a part of her. Now, I get that her joy at seeing him during her pregnancy came from Nessie and Jake being destined for each other, but was her love for him from the very beginning a result of the sadistic side of imprinting – she couldn’t let him go because she was destined to mother his “something that trumps a soulmate”? That doesn’t seem entirely plausible to me because Bella is just an ordinary human…it makes sense that Jake couldn’t leave her because his wolfy magic tied him to her because of the possibility of Nessie…but there was no magic acting on Bella to make it impossible for her to leave him. Furthermore, it’s a twisted way for imprinting to work…because if her feelings for Jake were because of Nessie, but they had won out in the end and she had chose Jake, there would never have been a Nessie. It’s an inherent contradiction. It’s making my brain hurt a little.

Maybe her “getting over him” was overshadowed by the Nessie connection. I guess my point is less about Bella not loving Jake like that anymore and more about the finer points of imprinting (even though it does seem odd to me that it all works out so tidily without an explantion as to how). I just find all the varied and intertwined ramifications of imprinting interesting. I wish Steph would explain it in more detail so that we aren’t left to our own conjectures, cause it’s definitely a central issue to the ultimate development of the plot. It’s like JK Rowling not telling us how horcruxes are made. How are we supposed to guess the ramifications of that information without it?

I still think her feelings for Jake were more than just familial. That kiss was way more than brotherly love. She saw the whole future she was giving up – her little black haired children. And yes it would be sick if she had a thing for her daughter’s guy. That’s why it bugs me. It’s like her feelings magically disappeared just so that element wouldn’t be a problem. It’s like when Medea rides off on a dragon-pulled chariot at the end of the play…it’s this fabricated device that doesn’t really fit in with every other aspect of the story and it’s simply there to tie things up in a pretty little bow.

I think in a fantasy book you have to just accept some things. Like imprinting is stronger than love-at-first-sight. It’s a mystical, wolfy connection that ties in with the magic in their genes. Or, if you go with Billy’s theory that it’s to create stronger wolves, it kinda removes the whole romantic aspect of it altogether. Then it’s just part of the evolutionary cycle – survival of the fittest.
 

And a final discussion topic brought up in the books themselves. Do vampires have souls?

I personally think they do. While the Cullens’ ethical choices could be purely intellectual, I don’t think it’s possible for them to feel emotions like love (both familial and romantic) without a soul. If it were by virtue of their intellectual capacities, they wouldn’t be willing to die for one another because their instinct is self-preservation above all else. I don’t think their natural bloodlust means they are automatically damned, either. They retain their essential humanity – and isn’t part of the essence of humanity the concept of a soul? Just like with human nature, it’s about what they do with the cards they’re dealt. Having a soul doesn’t mean you don’t have the capacity for both good and evil. The Cullens do better than a lot of humans (take Lonnie, for example). To quote Dumbledore, “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
Plus, it would totally suck of Steph to make us love these creatures and then damn them with no hope of…redemption, or whatever you wanna call it. I’m with Carlisle – how can there not be more for one such as Edward?

I was thinking about the Nessie thing too. Motherly love without a soul seems like a contradiction, but maybe that’s just the product of societal conditioning. But I don’t think it is.

Well, those are some of the points of Twilight that we found interesting and debatable. What do you guys think? Share in the comments! Also, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter or friend us on Facebook (Isawforever Inmynever)!

Yours Twilosophically,

MyNever

Can I have the sports section after you?

Either Nessie likes playing golf or the locals have been using her as target practice! On a recent  Loch Ness monster expedition, a US research team have uncovered a graveyard of golf balls on the floor of the loch. Thousands of them in fact. At first the team thought they were mushrooms but on further inspection they discovered to their surprise they were golf balls.

Ieri am terminat de citit cea de-a 3-a carte din seria Amurg, Eclipsa de Stephenie Meyer. Cartea m-a lasat pur si simplu cu rasuflarea taiata. … Asa ca de-abia astept sa citesc si ultima carte, Zori de zi.

Impresionata de imposibila poveste de dragoste dintre varcolacul Jacob Black si fiica unui vampir, Renesmee Cullen, am cautat pe YouTube videoclipuri facute de fani. Si am gasit unul genial. Melodia este de asemenea perfecta! Imi place la nebunie!!!

Renesme “Nessie” Cullen – Emily Browning

Jacob Black – Steven Strait

Enjoy!

Joana

PARA O BRASIL PARA A RENESMEE DESCER! *vicadaemtwilightmodeon*

Eu estava vagando pelo MSNBRASIL quando vi isso. Eles postaram umas fotos de umas mituras que eles fizeram com os rostos de varias celebridades, quando vi esse resultado pulou na minha cabeça na hora “RENESMEE!” shaushaushuasha mas nossa, eu achei que super parece com o descrito no livro..pelo menos é o que se imagina como ela maior ficaria com as caracteristicas descritas.

Aqui as pessoas que eles usavaram para fazer esta “pessoa” de cima:

O nariz é da Christina, a boca é da Avril, o cabelo da Kirsten e os olhos da Kate

Guid mornin everyone!

Today, October 11, 2009, I am taking my Twitter friends on another submarine adventure!  This time we are meeting at Urquhart Castle in northern Scotland.  We are going to explore the cold, dark and murky waters of Loch Ness in a submarine my dad made especially for us:  The DOGFISH!  Our goal is to come face to face with the legendary Loch Ness Monster!!  We are going to have a #LochNessPawty!

X marks the spot of our meeting! Anipals from all corners of the world are coming to embark into this exciting expedition!  We have representatives from the Scotland, England and Ireland, Germany, Egypt, Canada, Brazil, Croatia,  the U.S.  and many other places!  I am thankful to my friends @no_crybaby_doGs for suggesting this party, @Pandafur and @SnowyDaze for picking up anipals on their super fast jets, @Dogstoyevsky for bringing the trawler Atlantis with many onboard,  @EmmyTheCat for lending her supersonic Eco-Copter, and to @OatieDog for volunteering her submarine to give tours to those who came in at the last minute.  I also want to thank all of you who offered to D.J. and to those who  are bringing beverages,  treats, nets and harnesses, maps, scuba suits, and gas masks in case somone feels compelled to pass gas in the submarines.  

But especially I’d like to thank THE CREW and my crazy parents:   You made this fantasy possible!

It will be a day filled with food, games, excursions and tours, submarine rides and, above all, a chance for all of us to be together and have fun!  So here is to you, my friends–have a great #LochNessPawty!

NOTE: You can follow #LochNessPawty on the “Search” feature of www.twitter.com , on www.tweetgrid.com hashtag #lochnesspawty, search lochnesspawty, and  on  www.tweetdeck.com or www.seesmic.com. 

REMEMBER!! Add the Hashtag #LochNessPawty To Your Comments So Everyone Can Read Them!
And Observe The Golden Rule–and I’m not talking about retrievers–Treat Others The Way You’d Like To Be Treated!

*************

THE SCHEDULE
For this adventure the weather will sunny and warm all day long–except under water…

1pm CST (2pm EST, 7pm UK) – Meet up

SCOTTISH LANGUAGE LESSONS
GAMES
LOCH NESS AND LOCH NESS MONSTER HISTORY/FOLKORE
ABOUT URQUHART CASTLE
HAUNTED CASTLE TOURS
RESTAURANTS/SHOPS/LOCH TOURS
(not associated with any of the above)

 Continuous Onsite Treats and Beverages Courtesy of Those Who Brought Them

1:45 pmCST (2:45 pm EST, 7:45 pm UK)
SUBMARINE LAUNCH

DIVE, DIVE
PAWTY, PAWTY
#LOCHNESSPAWTY

Fluffs,

New image in the path togo photoshop contest

SBS on route …
Sea Nessie and her Kissy Fish photoshop picture

Oktober is steevast de maand waarin sparen centraal staat bij KBC.  En dat is in 2009 niet anders, want  in de huidige marktomstandigheden is het verstandiger om op een andere, slimmere manier te sparen.  Een spaarboekje brengt weinig op, maar er zijn voldoende meer rendabele alternatieven.

En daar wil KBC altijd eens over praten met haar klanten.

Sparen in de spaarmaand levert sowieso meer op, al was het maar het cliëntenboek ‘Toeren en tafelen in Schotland’ en de kans op toffe prijzen in de KBC-Spaartombola.
En dat het thema Schotland zou zijn, dat moesten ze ons maar 1 keer zeggen om geïnspireerd te geraken.

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