Insurance You Shouldn’t Do Without For Your Wedding
By James Yang, dedicated financial advisor to Bliss Concepts

When it comes to wedding planning, some people are looking into various ways to save money, and often times, many will look at cutting their insurance arrangements as the first choice.

Many do not see insurance as a direct benefit to them. As a matter-of-fact plainly, insurance is just a piece of paper. Compared to that designer wedding gown to look pretty or that posh banquet so as not to lose face, insurance is the easiest to give up.

Another common reason some couples give: we can always take it up after wedding. However, forgoing adequate insurance could place you just one unexpected event away from a wedding disaster. And that’s the last thing you would want to worry when you should be happily planning ahead for your wedding! How can you marry when back in your mind, your partner is going to a financial burden to you all the rest of your life?

Here are the basic insurance policies that no couple should be without (even if you really have very limited budget!):

Medical

This is the number 1 priority. Medical cost is a huge uncertainty but can be transferred easily to insurer. This will prevent you from draining your savings and assets away in the event of a hospitalization.

When considering Medical Insurance, consider the following:

• Do they restrict specialized services you might need like pregnancy-related coverage? What are the fine-prints when it comes to claims?
• When insurers claim that they offer a full cover, always ask what is covered. There is no such thing as full cover for everything. Many insurers do not actually cover treatments such as experimental drugs or clinical trials which are generally very expensive.
• If you choose catastrophic coverage to lower your premiums, can you afford the high deductible and co-payment in case of an accident or major illness? What are some of the affordable alternatives that can help you off-set these potentially major bills?
• How’s the claim experience like? How long does it take to claim? What are the procedures involved? Should you have a need to claim for medical insurance, the last thing you want is to constantly chase and ask for the claims to come in!

Critical Illness and Personal Accident

These plans offer a payout in a lump sum to help cushion the immediate financial impact that you may encounter. When life disaster strikes, huge surge of bills and lack of income can be a double whammy. These payouts can help to provide peace of mind for you to simply concentrate on getting well and not be overly stressed with the financial capabilities to manage the consequence of that illness or injury.

The payouts should also be meant to cater to a change in mindset. Many patients who have experienced these unfortunate issues often realize that life is preciously short. They may no longer want to slog their life for money but want to spend quality time with their loved ones. With the payout of these plans, one can comfortably budget for such ideals.

When considering Critical Illness Insurance, note the following:

• Is the amount of coverage fixed or does it decrease over time?
• Should you go for Term plans (cheap but fixed duration) or Whole life plans (expensive but cover for old age)? A contrarian advice: Buying Term plans and neglect whole life plans may not be a smart choice.
• How much to cover for yourself and your spouse? Consider the number of years you may need to recover/adjust your lifestyle downwards, extra medical costs not covered by your medical plans, and change in mindset cost.

When considering personal accident plans, note the following;

• Do the plans cover terrorism, riots or natural disaster?
• Do they cover for extreme sports injuries?
• Do they pay only when there is a physical loss of body parts or do they pay so long as the body part losses its function permanently?
• Do they cover your occupation? You will be surprised some insurer can void your claims even though they accepted your business under this clause!

You don’t want to marry as a burden, do you? You marry because you want to be a better self, and be a blessing to your partner. If not, why marry? Insurance is there to protect against unforeseen circumstances; don’t risk your financial future by gambling that you’re immune to accidents, large and small.

Before these unexpected issues become real-life problem, take charge and get it out of your way now! We have created a link in the forum for you to share your thoughts. CLICK HERE to post your questions or email us if you wish to remain anonymous.

In the next article: We will be sharing on how you can create your financial plan without feeling the stress. Case studies included!

For information about financial planning and money matters for your marriage, please visit Bliss Concepts at www.blissconcepts.mono.net.

Day 47: Wedding Photography for Karen & Dave

Saturday October 17th 2009

THIS WAS STRESSFUL! It was my first wedding doing photography all on my own and the results are lovely, however I don’t think I’ve ever been that nervous before. It was my best friend’s mother’s wedding so stakes were high. I never want to let anyone down, especially family friends so this was a big deal for me!! A tequila shot probably would’ve done me some good (to calm my nerves) but I kept it professional and didn’t have a drink until dinner (keep in mind I was both photographer and guest that day so a drink with dinner was completely respectable).

Here’s a sneak peek…

Having someone depend solely on me for wedding photos just about made me throw up I was so nervous. Don’t worry K & D, I didn’t throw up, I didn’t drink any tequila, and the photos are lookin’ good!! Congrats! Now go start living happily ever after, wouldja?!

Now go face a fear; do something that scares you!

Planning your Money before your Marriage

When you are thinking about getting married, it is good to think through about your finances before taking the plunge.  The engagement ring is only the first of many big expenses. After the proposal, most couples spend a lot of time deciding on the bridal gown & accessories, the photo-shoot, the banquet, personalized wedding favors, bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts, and even the honeymoon, yet haven’t planned for the day to day finances after the marriage. Are you one of them?

Many couples go into marriage with no idea on how to manage their money. Conflicts over money are one of the main problems reported by married couples. Have you ever quarreled with your partner over how much was spent on that Liverpool jersey? Or the latest Gucci bag that can’t hold anything other than a wallet?

Your money, my money, our money?

Before the wedding, the couple should get together and work out a financial plan. There must always be open communication between both parties on all financial matters. This is a key point that many couples miss. With the union of a marriage, what was once “yours” now becomes “ours.” A married couple needs to look at their total income, debts and savings as belonging to both of them. In a marriage, two become one; this includes all aspects of your life. You become one in your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial relationships. There is no more “mine,” it becomes “ours.”

Marriage = Financial Partnership?

Nothing dampens your mood from the fantastic honeymoon faster than money woes. In their haste to live happily ever after, many couples don’t do their homework before marriage and are often unpleasantly surprised to learn that they’re starting out their next life chapter married to a spouse who has very different financial priorities.

Here are 4 tips to ensure you’ll be able to say “I do” with no regrets instead of “I wish I knew,” after you tie the knot:

Discuss your spending patterns with your partner (i.e. know much each of you spend each month, compared to how much you earn in total income each month)

• Too many couples have no idea on their cash flow and end up getting in trouble by running up credit card debt, and other debts that their income cannot pay for.
• Too many couples also become a control freak after they are married due to the difference in spending culture. By discussing and opening up, you are able to manage each other’s expectations and breathing space in terms of your personal spending.

Be frank to each other about your financial standing (i.e. any credit card debts, school loans outstanding etc)

• It’d be a rude shock to your spouse if these aren’t ironed out in the first place. You may have been lavishing on him/her with exquisite dinners and gifts and building up a deeper debt which your spouse will eventually be part of!

 Plan your big ticket items together (i.e. children, house, car, holiday, retirement etc)

• By knowing what are the priorities that will be requiring quite a fair bit of your money, you can adjust your spending plan and create the ability to save for things you need or want in the future.

 Plan your ‘back-ups’ when mishaps happen (i.e. knowing each other’s insurance coverage and planning for more adequate insurance for the family)

• While this is a very rare topic of discussion, it is crucial to know if you & your spouse are adequately insured. When mishaps strike, it is always the other party that bears the consequences. By providing adequate coverage for yourself, you can free your spouse from the painful burden you leave behind. Seek a trusted professional financial advisor for guidance.

Remember, when doing any planning or making any decisions, always involve your spouse in the discussion and come to a conclusive decision. While there will be times (and I believe many), that both of you will not come to an agreement, you will need to compromise and see who has the greater weight in the decision making process. After the decision is made, both of you are to support each other and not to blame when things don’t work out well

Fairy-tale wedding? Budget-conscious wedding?

Marriage preparation can be really hectic and stressful, depending on how fancy you want to get. Add the stress of trying to stick to a wedding budget, and you could be in for a rocky beginning. Knowing where you stand financially may influence your plans for the wedding itself. If you’ve got a huge outstanding sum of loans, do you really want to double your debt with an expensive wedding?

A successful wedding is not measured by how much you spent for the event. What is an adequate cost to you may differ greatly from another couple.  Work on a comfortable budget taking into account your debts and your income. Challenge yourself to create the most memorable wedding with the fixed resource you have. You will end up feeling much happier!

Will we ever agree?

A good marriage is about finding a good balance. Instead of ‘me’, it’s ‘we’, that means willing to negotiate and to compromise. If you find yourself at odds about your financial agreements, stay calm and discuss openly about your views. Communication is the key to successful financial and family planning. If you are still unable to agree, attend premarital preparation & counseling. Couple counseling can help you see each other’s values and have a deeper understanding of each other.

Couples must work together in managing their finances in an open, committed relationship so that the two becomes one loving family unit!

For information about financial planning and money matters for your marriage, please visit Bliss Concepts at www.blissconcepts.mono.net

Copyright © 2009 Bliss Concepts. All rights reserved.

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Wedding budgeting – it is something important to all couples when they plan for their wedding, yet many end up “budgeting for the sake of budgeting” without sticking to it.

1) Visualise your wedding. This includes the theme, colour, special effects, venue and settings.

2) Discuss with your partner about his/her ideals. Most of the time girls have more wedding desires than guys do. Thrash out what should be added or compromised.

3) Estimate the probable cost. This will require some homework to find out average costs based on your desires.

4) Reflect on your current income. Can both of you cope with the expected cost estimated in point three? Who is going to pay first? Who is going to track the expenses? Do you need to re-align your wedding desires and expectations to fit into your income.

5) Even when you have confirmed how much you can afford, do shop around for possible cost savings/substitutes. You can save more money and spend it on other items to enhance your wedding or simply save that money for your home or future kids.

How can you plan and stick to it?
Now that you have a tentative budget, the most important this is to follow it. Start by keeping track of your expenses.

1) Update your budget every time you make a purchase. It will be good to use an Excel sheet so you can tabulate your total projected spending after each purchase.

2) Make adjustments to your budget if necessary. If you overspent in certain areas, do trim in other, bearing in mind the full cost that you initially budgeted for.

3) Make decisions. Unless you have a lot of time to plan for your wedding and source for vendors, you have to be bold and make decisions. If you think you hit the right shop, just secure it. There is no way you can shop through all possible shops and get the biggest bargains. Go for the best value as it will keep you happy and save time. Remember, time is also an expensive asset.

4) Keep a buffer for unexpected items. Along the way, you may change your concept and that will mean you may spend more or less money on your wedding. Be ready to manage the full effects of your decision.

5) Have contingency plans. Be sure to always keep open, honest communications between yourselves and discuss any back-up strategies should unforeseen circumstances happen.

6) Protect yourselves against big risks. Events like illness and accidents cannot be controlled. But you can manage these risks, You will not want an unexpected medical bill running into the thousands while you have to pay for your wedding. Have proper insurance plans to protect yourself and your partner. It is the responsible thing to do.

Remember to relax and enjoy the process. You two are going to be one, and all setbacks and challenges can be solved.

Copyright © 2009 Bliss Concepts. All rights reserved.

Come and join us at Grand Park City Hall’s Wedding Workshop on 19 Sep 2009!

Wedding Workshop   Date: Saturday, 19 September 2009 Time: 12pm to 6pm (Bliss Concepts’ mini-workshop at 3.30pm) Venue: Grand Park City Hall, Grand Ballroom, Level 2, 10 Coleman Street, Singapore 179809. Admission: Free (Registration required)

Meet Grand Park City Hall’s team of experienced and dedicated wedding specialists, to make your special day a memorable one! Bliss Concepts will be organizing a mini-workshop entitled ‘From this Moment’, to highlight and enlighten couples on topics such as: Proposal, Wedding…House? Budget vs. Desires Insurance…a Need? How much is enough? The precious gift of LOVE! When you attend this workshop, you can be entitled $300 worth of merchant vouchers and a special Wedding Diary by Bliss Concepts*! *You need to fill up a simple form and the welcome pack will be given to you at a later date. What’s more, there is a lucky draw with exciting prizes up for grabs! Grand Park City Hall is giving up to 10% off wedding packages^ for weddings till December 2010. Enjoy S$88 off per table for weekdays and S$68 off per table for weekends for packages in 2010. Perks include a complimentary night stay for helper room (except Saturday Package), 5 trays of canapes during cocktail reception and complimentary S$250 F&B voucher. ^Terms & Conditions apply. For more information Bliss Concepts’ marriage workshop, visit www.blissconcepts.mono.net or email blissconcepts@gmail.com.

To register, CLICK HERE.

When you attend any of our complimentary mini-workshops, you are entitled to the full marriage workshop ‘Starting your Marriage Right’ at $50 per couple (U.P. $128 per couple)!

I recently got married this summer.

Marriage is something that you are never really ‘ready’ for. Marriage, like driving or working or writing, is something that you can get better at with time and practice. Yet marriage also needs the element of the heart. You could be good at being in a marriage aka (few fights, many laughs and financially viable), but a true marriage is more. Its intimacy or in-to-me-see. To truly be good at marriage in God’s eyes, I think its a question of “are you letting God make you and your spouse more one flesh by being willing and open?”

That’s a tough question.

A good marriage in the worldly sense is a good friendship with some sex and financial interdependence.

A marriage in God’s eyes is the combining of two people in order to love and obey God in greater ways.

This combining is the ‘one flesh’ talked about in the Bible..that’s the good stuff.  Combining means everything. Crackin’ eggs and adding flour, trying for a cake.

Marriage=3 months…

My level of expertise isn’t even close to rookie, I can only say what my personal feelings and thoughts on this institution are to date… This is a disclaimer for anyone seeking advice, and just in case Meg reads this and disagress….

I really thought that things would stay the same from when we were dating.

When we were young and sweet, and the love, the love… it was all about us being fascinated with how awesome the other person was! We are still thrilled to see each other(sometimes),but..

Married life is; official.

When we were dating and even during our engagement, theoretically we could just go to Bolivia for a month and the other person really couldn’t do anything. Now, there is much more permanence. Concrete-ness. Shoot! They got our paperwork on file downtown… its really hard to explain on so many levels. On one level, we have now become literal partners, and our love isn’t just “o baby i like you a lot that i love you alot”,  the ceremony makes it bond.

The ceremony I feel embodied what Meg and I knew when we first met. That we were meant to be together. I find the ceremony important, because it signifies to both family that not only are y’all in love, but that our families are now one family. No man is an island. Both of us have close knit families who are totally different… and I think the wedding was necessary to make introdructions and decree that we were meant to be. Also, I think marriages are made so that everyone that you love and care about can both be inspired and help you to continue to nurture the relationship. Meg and I are the glue, and family is the support system…

Say what you want; but marriage makes you responsible for that other person.. not on some..”i’ll bring her home before midnight”…on some,” Okay, now lets fill out this paperwork for health insurance!”

For anyone that gets into an official role(marriage,parenthood), you without even noticing start “acting” it.My voice got deeper. Stuck out my chest a little bit. Back straightened. I remember  one time Meg was about to go out and in my best deep tenor/bass was like “Now, where do you plan on going at this hour(it was maybe 7pm)…she rolled her eyes. That is a silly example, but truthfully I feel the need as a man to protect and provide. protect and provide like i get paid to do it. I am all for gender theory and expansion, but that feeling/need to give all of yourself for someone seems very innate, not a social construct. sue me.

So, even though I’m usually laid back about roles/responsibilities, the first couple weeks I caught myself saying, “Well, I AM YOUR HUSBAND”(hear me roar)… meg was umm thought it was cute at first, and the fifth time i caught myself being obnoxious. It happens.

The other joke we played the first couple days is she would disagree w/ me about something stupid like what movie to watch and I would be like…”Meg, don’t make this the FIRST(argument),seriously”… the first has passed and gone and we are still standing(or stumbling).

All I can say is this: It isn’t just love. Meg and I love each other bunches. Even then, it is still  the hard work of listening, (trying) to understand the other persons point of view, and learning to love or accept their flaws…  we don’t have all or maybe any of the answers, we’re just trying to figure out what works best for us.

By Alexander Lawrie

A NEWLY-MARRIED Scots couple has been left devastated after their wedding video went missing while on their honeymoon.

Karen and Chris Howden, from Inverness, were heading off to Tanzania for their dream break when they discovered the camera containing ten hours of their special weekend had disappeared.

It included special recorded messages from most of their 150 guests.

The £500 camera was a wedding present from Karen’s parents, Sandra and Alan Sutherland, and is presumed to have been lost as the couple travelled to Gatwick from Inverness on Sunday afternoon.

Distraught Karen, 24, has been ringing home every day from Africa asking if the camera has been handed in.

The couple’s big day was held at Achnagairn House, Kirkhill, near Inverness in front of 150 invited guests, and mum Sandra revealed almost everyone attending had filmed a special secret message to new bride and groom.

Priceless video

Now the Sutherland’s have putting up a cash reward for the person who finds the treasured video.

Mrs Sutherland, 49, said: “We are all so upset about the footage going missing. It’s not the camera we are bothered about but the memory stick has over ten hours of recording on it, which to us is priceless.

“The whole weekend was filmed including a family barbecue we had the night before, Karen and the bride’s maids getting ready for the wedding and the actual service itself.

“We also arranged for all the guests to record a little message for the two of them as a wee surprise.

“Karen has called us everyday, but we still haven’t had any luck tracking it down.”

Karen, a Spanish teacher, and Chris, a primary school teacher, were so excited about watching their wedding video they began viewing it on the flight down to Gatwick.

The couple then took a bus to a hotel near Heathrow Airport where they were flying out to the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania the following day.

It is thought the camera went missing either on the flight to London or the bus journey to Heathrow.

Cash reward

Mrs Sutherland said: “Karen is really upset and is blaming herself. She thinks they left it on the plane down but it might have been on the bus to Heathrow because that is where they discovered it was missing.

The new Mr and Mrs Howden will start their married life in Cornwall when they return from Africa.

Flight operator easyJet and both Gatwick and Heathrow lost property departments have said there has been no sign of the camera and no-one has handed it in.

Mrs Sutherland added: “We think the flight went to Prague after Gatwick and our only hope is that somebody has found the camera.

“It’s a long shot, but we are quite willing to offer a cash reward for the safe return of the footage.”

The missing camera is a digital JVC and was held in a Sony case when it disappeared.

All Heroes actress, Ali Larter wants to do is nest. Larter told usmagazine.com that she looks “forward to that time when I’m home with babies.” In Kennebunport, Maine, Larter tied the knot with Hayes MacArthur.

The couple got engaged in December 07 after dating for 5 years. Congrats!

5 Common Misconceptions Dispelled!

Are you and your sweetheart embarking on your wedding planning? Besides planning for the wedding day itself, have you thought about how things are going to be in your married life together? Mortgage loans? Utility bills? Parents/ In-laws? Children? Entertainment?

The best way to start is to educate yourself and get rid of any hear-say misconceptions that you have come across. Much as money is not the end-all and be-all, the fact is that finances will form a very crucial part of your married life. You may not have married your spouse because of money, but bills will still have to be paid, mortgage to be settled and kids (if you’re planning any) still has school fees to account for.

Thus, here’s a brief guide on 5 common misconceptions that can be dispelled through financial education. If you didn’t think about this before reading, now is a good time to plan for your financial future as you start your married life together.

Check the list below — are you making any of these mistakes?

1. I don’t need to pay attention to my mortgage as my CPF will handle everything since we’ve both been contributing to CPF since we started work.

As a general rule of thumb, your total monthly debt payments (including your home loan) should not be more than 35% of gross monthly income.

Also, CPF monthly repayments will only be possible with your monthly contributions to CPF. What happens if you are retrenched? Or unable to work? It is best for you to seek professional financial advice and make arrangements for these to ensure that your property is not at stake when mishaps happen.

2. I can’t afford to save money now. I have so many bills to pay for and loans to settle.

Can I say the same that since you have bills to pay for and loans to settle you will not go for movies/ entertainment with your friends and will not go for meals at restaurants? Saving your money should be part & parcel of your daily habit – like brushing your teeth!

By not eating well, your physical health is affected; by not sleeping well, your mental health is affected. Similarly, by not cultivating the habit of saving, your financial health is affected!

3. I can carry debt as long as I make the minimum payment each month.

While this may be unknown to you, most credit-card companies charge 2% monthly interest rollover balance on a daily basis, if card holders do not pay the full amount on due date. This means that when you only clear the minimum payment for the first month, the balance amount gets rolled over and the next month’s amount gets bigger and bigger.

2% per month compounded can mean that with an average $500 monthly outstanding bill would have compounded into $6,706 by the time your 12th bill comes! As you ponder over how to repay the full amount, by the 2nd year, that outstanding amount would have ballooned to $8,504. What more, once you have an outstanding balance, your future charges will not be interest-free! The high interests are really equivalent of legal loan sharking!

If the interest on your accounts is accruing at a pace that simply won’t allow you to realistically pay off your accounts in a reasonable amount of time, it’s a good idea to start seeking professional help on managing your debt.

4. I don’t have to start saving for retirement until I’m at least 40.

By the time you’re 40, you will be making the same excuses as when you’re younger: bills still have to be paid and groceries still will cost you your money! BUT the disadvantage is that you have much less time to accumulate for the amount you would need for your retirement.

Time is your benefit! While you two are just embarking on your married life, set aside some money for your retirement together. Seek financial advice on how much you would need and how to best handle the money to meet your retirement goals. If you save diligently from age 25 to 40, you may be able to retire earlier than your peers and enjoy!

5. My partner is financially savvy and so I don’t need to bother about knowing anything.

Your partner may seem to be financially savvy, but it doesn’t hurt to know more! The more you know, the better you’ll be able to take care of yourself and your family. Also, while some things may seem straight-forward on the surface, it is always beneficial to seek a second opinion with Financial Professionals before making your final decision. Ultimately the one to benefit is you and your family!

Make a point to begin educating yourself about good financial habits — it’s never too early or too late to let go of the wrong habits and get started on the road to financial fitness!

Copyright © 2009 Bliss Concepts. All rights reserved.

The wedding was amazing. My little brother just got married, managed to say Yes (as did Sandhya his WIFE) It all started in Sofia Church and Ended at our home here in Upplands Väsby… The feast at Stora Essingen also was a success with lots of family and friends from all over the world congratulating the newly weds. And as the picture shows it ended with an Indian tradition were the mothers from each family gave presents to each other and the couple aswell. By that time it was 2 o’clock at night and as you see Sandhya and Jeroen look tired and happy. Now they are of to Santorini, Greece for their honeymoon and then they are of to Washington ….

ps, Jeroen you still owe me a wife

A recent study was done with 2,500 couples and the results for how they stayed together is so interesting. What hit a chord with me is how much their results track with the Bible…

1. Love key ingredient 2. Ages not over 9 years a part 3. Getting married while young (at least 25) 4. No kids before marriage 5. Parents that stayed together increased marriage span for offspring 6. Healthy finances 7. Healthy lifestyle with no smoking

See full article

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/lf_nm_life/us_couples

yeah, that’s right people, they are married! I saw them together in Step Up one but never did i imagine them being married. To be honest, i didn’t even know they were engaged, i was just aware that they were dating. Here’s what the Hollywood Gossip has to say about it…

Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum: Married!

Posted on July 12th, 2009

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan tied the knot yesterday in Malibu, Calif.

The two stars said “I do” in a 15-minute ceremony on the grounds of Church Estates Vineyards, the same venue where Fergie and Josh Duhamel wed.

More than 200 guests attended the nuptials. A source tells Us Dewan’s maid of honor was Entourage star Emmanuelle Chriqui. Also in the bridal party? Tatum’s sister Paige and Haylie Duff, accompanied by the groom’s pal Nick Zano.

The bridesmaids all wore light pink dresses.

Beneath a white altar covered in roses, Jenna Dewan wore a white strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and a long veil. Tatum wore your basic black suit.

When it was time for their first kiss as husband and wife, the G.I. Joe star bent Dewan back and kissed her over his knee to cheers from the approving crowd.

Jenna Dewan, 28, and Channing Tatum, 29, met on the set of their 2006 flick, Step Up. They got engaged last September. Congrats to the newlyweds!

For ladies only…

1. Learn to strenthen your abs
2. Learn Kegel
3. Stay perfumed and pretty
4. Tell him what he does right so he will do more of it
5. Be more available

For Men Only

1. Don’t assume you know her spots, ask
2. Keep her in a good mood throughout the day
3. Tell her that you love her, that she is beautiful and any other good thing
4. Remember that woman respond to romance, acts of random kindness and love getting out of a routine. If you’ve been married a long time and the only place you can remember being intimate is in your bedroom, you are missing out. You have to understand how women think. A weekend away will probably do your marriage a lot of good.
5. Remember woman are a like a crock pots, not microwaves. Slow things down you will more than likely get better results.

1. Control what you say to your spouse
2. Treat your spouse better than you treat yourself
3. Support your spouse
4. Say I am sorry and forgive me often and quickly
5. Don’t be self centered
6. Kiss and make out before the sun goes down if you are angry
7. HELP EACH OTHER OUT IN ALL THINGS
8. Give each other space
9. Serve God together
10 Pray over your marriage, your relationship, your children, your lives in general

Deliciousness in a bowl

Friday was a busy day. We hopped from parental visits  to a birthday brunch and back home again to prepare our shabbat evening meal. My parents took us out for coffee to a local park, where we stumbled across a farmer’s market. We happily sampled sweet little cherry tomatoes, crusty bread and tempting home-made cheeses (where Ninja lingered longingly but didn’t buy), luscious figs, crisp apples, lovely thick celery and cherries that were too expensive for the likes of us. We restrained ourselves and left with some organic cucumbers, a tub of pickles for Ninja (Me: “Pickles are cucumber’s evil cousin”), a few bunches of pink and white lisianthus and a huge punnet of fresh apricots.

Apricots from the Farmer's Market

Friday night, Ninja and I spent some much needed time alone together. It may not suprise you to hear that we really value some quality time at the moment. I stay in Tel Aviv one night a week, and even when we are both at home, we are often busy in our separate work space and head space, studying, deep in philosophical thought (him) or practicing aerobics routines (me).

The way I see it, there are two types of couples. The ‘Coupley Couple’ might be horrified by our routine, or to hear that a few months ago I happily sent Ninja off on a camping trip with his friends while I stayed at home.

We all know ‘Coupley Couples’ – you might even be one of them. You know, those couples who do everything together from grocery shopping to nights out, power walks, running errands, going to the dentist, shopping for clothes (?!?), morning coffees, gym and swim etc. For some, it sounds like a dream come true but Ninja and I fall firmly into the other category of couples.

Ninja thinks that the ‘Coupley Couple’ is an Israeli phenomenon but I think that there are just different types of people in the world: those who are happy spending every moment in the company of their loved one - and everyone else. Which type are you? Do you prefer to have activties and hobbies which are “mine” and not “ours” or are you simply happiest when you’re together?

Sometimes time alone is as important as time together

Back to Friday. After all our adventures and eating, Ninja was pooped, so while he had a little nap, I threw together some dessert for later. I used strawberry pulp (which I had frozen about a month ago when strawbs were seasonably cheap), green apples and lemon zest to make individual crumbles. The strawberry juices bubbled over in the oven, sinking the crumble and adding to its sticky, fruity gloriousness –  which this time we enjoyed together.

Apples and strawbs...add some lemon zest...cranberries...and a little brown sugar

STRAWBERRY AND APPLE SUNKEN CRUMBLE
Serves 2

Filling:
2 green apples, peeled, cored and diced
2 handfuls of strawberries, pulped or chopped small
zest of 1/2 lemon
Handful of dried cranberries
Sprinkling of brown sugar

Crumble:
25g wholewheat flour
15g porridge oats
40g soft brown sugar
25g marge/butter cut into small cubes

1. Arrange fruit into individual dishes in layers: strawberry pulp, apples, lemon zest, cranberries and sprinkle a little brown sugar on top. If your strawberries are chopped and not liquidized, you might want to add a teaspoon or two of water to help create the sunken effect.
2. For crumble, combine flour, oats and sugar and then gently rub in the marge/butter until the mixture is crumbly.
3. Sprinkle crumble over the fruit and bake in a preheated oven at 190 degrees for approximately 40 minutes, or until crumble is crunchy and golden brown (or in my case, crumble has sunk into the depths of bubbling strawberry goo).
4. Serve with vanilla ice cream and wish you had made more than two.

Fruity Mess

Pre-oven... before the crumble sank into the strawbeery depths

Napping

A week or so before I got married my mother-in-law (who is renowned for her baking) handed me a pretty little blue box adorned with cheerful sunflowers and bright red apples. Inside, I was delighted to find index cards with recipes for some of her well-loved dishes, painstakingly written out by hand. She had made sure to include some of Ninja’s favourites including Pecan pie, sweet and sour meatballs and potato kugel; useful recipes for challah, soups and marinades; and banana coffee cake with chocolate chip streusel for me.

As this special and thoughtful gift might indicate, the Cohens are big on food (without being big from food). They joke that their family motto is: “ We meet, we eat” and they really do share some quality family time around the dining room table. For someone with a sweet tooth like me, being set loose in the Cohen household is a serious liability.

The first recipe I ever asked my mother-in-law to give me was the one I am sharing with you now. Mocha bars belong to that category of reassuringly good, no-frills, no-nonsense baking. They never go wrong, everyone loves them and they are best eaten still warm from the oven. They are the perfect comfort food (of the sweet variety) because they aren’t too rich or sickly sweet (meaning you can eat a few at one sitting) and they can be whipped up quickly, at short notice, with ingredients most people have lying around. They are my classic fall-back dessert. The best thing about mocha bars, if you bake them for EXACTLY 22 minutes, is the texture. Not crumbly, not crunchy, not chewy, just…well, ummm….yummy.

So – here I am, married for less than a year and already sharing the family secrets….

Debbie’s Mocha Bars
Makes about 24

1. Sift together and put aside:
2.5 cups flour
½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt

2. Mix together:
1 cup margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
1.5 tbsp instant coffee powder

3. Combine flour mix with above and mix in chocolate chips. (I usually break up a 100g bar of chocolate instead so the chocolate pieces are chunkier). The mixture will be crumbly and quite dry.

4. You can add ½ cup walnuts. I never do.

5. Press into a 9 x 13 inch greased pan and bake at 350/170 for EXACTLY 22 minutes.

6. Cut into squares and leave to cool. Try to be patient and avoid burning your mouth on the chocolate like I always do.

Enjoy enjoy enjoy…just LOOK at these…

Fresh out of the oven

Going...going...

Gone!