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Blogs about: Nigh Endings

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Funny People... apparently like the penis...1 comment

irqportz wrote 3 months ago: Eugenics, slavery and The Hills.  Yes all things that many Americans have jumped on the bandwagon of … more →

Tags: almost bursting bosom, apocalypse, baby geniuses, Black hole vision, Bladder control, Bruno, choking on it, Circle jerk, Corn and Peanuts

America's Got Retardeder

irqportz wrote 1 year ago: Holy crap, it has been too many months since I last posted.  So today I decide to give you something … more →

Tags: male enhancement pills, apocalypse, dingle commentary, Bladder control, Media retardation, feces, Corn and Peanuts, Britney Spears, almost bursting bosom

AOL stole my soul for 2 months severance and a frisbee

irqportz wrote 1 year ago: I sit here, now in my 4th, and almost fifth month of unemployment wondering where the hell I went wr … more →

Tags: Call Center, Soul Patrol, Sweatshop workers, painful rituals, Jean Claude Van Damme, inner peace, malt liquor, High school debate team, Memories

[@nn3d1 comment

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Yes sah. We got canned here at AOL, as predicted. Our Tucson site will be closing in December 16th a … more →

Tags: Tech, AOL, Tech Support, Call Center, apocalypse, funkonomics, Sweatshop workers, Second Sign of the Apocalypse, nuclear contraceptive

Nancy Grace - attention whore of the month award21 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: I would like to personally nominate Nancy Grace for the reward of filling the airwaves with the most … more →

Tags: Muay Thai, apocalypse, dingle commentary, Trailer Park, Connie Chung, Smoked too much of the rock, poor country loving, The View, bush

Foreign Pastries and the War on Terrorism

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Ladies and Gentlemen…. The world is now safe. My mother was not allowed to bring her empanadas … more →

Tags: hacks, apocalypse, ninja stealthing techniques, haxxing, feces, toilet, Art of War, Smoked too much of the rock, MacGyver

"Dr. Airportlove or how I learned to scare with the toothpaste bomb..."3 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: So it appears another terrorist plot was averted. Airports have been slowed to a crawl due to the mo … more →

Tags: male enhancement pills, apocalypse, Bladder control, water-proof diapers, Baby Pictures, Art of War, Crack addiction, MacGyver, Violence

What our Readers Want IV3 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Well, it has been a while since we posted.  All of us have been busy with impending doom and what no … more →

Tags: hacks, Call Center, apocalypse, haxxing, Pee stain, Bladder control, Naga Baba, Ghoulies, Crack addiction

Star Jones in the Wampa Cave3 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Thanks to the portzer #1 for the absolutely ridiculous picture Star Jones has finally left The View. … more →

Tags: Media retardation, Rosie O'Donnell, Ghoulies, Corn and Peanuts, Retirement, Crack addiction, Smoked too much of the rock, Star Jones, Wampa

Showtime Celebrity Love Rotisserie1 comment

irqportz wrote 3 years ago:   Looks like Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake are splitting up.  Friends close to the couple say i … more →

Tags: funkonomics, Botox bimbo, Crazy, Chop Socky Justice, Trailer Park, High Shamans of Ho-ocity, Crack addiction, Ronco, Ron Popeil

America Activates its Missile Defense System

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Kim Jong Il has pushed his country forward to testing their nuclear arsenal.  A long range Taepodong … more →

Tags: chuck norris, apocalypse, Pee stain, crotch rot, funkonomics, Bladder control, Male skirts, Crazy, Art of War

Connie Chung and a Little Drinky Drinky2 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Connie Chung singing a farewall song to her viewers and her career.  Looks like Conni … more →

Tags: apocalypse, Media retardation, painful rituals, Naga Baba, Botox bimbo, Crazy, toilet, malt liquor, Retirement

Bill Gates and the Oompa Loompa Empire...1 comment

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle! Well it appears that Mr. Gates … more →

Tags: Tech, Video Games, hacks, Tech Support, male enhancement pills, haxxing, funkonomics, Sweatshop workers, Male skirts

Pop Tarts and the Art of War5 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: Well today I went to go toast my pop tarts…. I push the handle down and nothing…  Ok, so … more →

Tags: chuck norris, Muay Thai, apocalypse, Kenny Loggins, ninja stealthing techniques, Pee stain, He-Man, Weird stretching, painful rituals

What will Shiloh look like...8 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago:   I have heard that two ugly parents that come together to make a child will normally have a gorgeou … more →

Tags: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Shiloh, peppers, male enhancement pills, apocalypse, crotch rot, Media retardation, chimpanzee

The end is nigh...

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: So um, some people are freaked about tomorrow being 6-6-06 but hey we did live through 6-6-06 in the … more →

Tags: apocalypse, Bladder control, basement living, Naga Baba, Richard Simmons, Rosie O'Donnell

This just in.. Jessica Simpson is not hot anymore5 comments

irqportz wrote 3 years ago: I suppose I could talk about the lastest blah blah from Bill Gates toting some new and improved feat … more →

Tags: male enhancement pills, Media retardation, Weird stretching, painful rituals, Richard Simmons, Botox bimbo, 2006 MTV Movie Awards, Jessica Simpson


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