Dear Gilligan & O’Malley clothing,

Your stretchy soft comfy night shirt that I recently purchased at a Target near me is the perfect thing. I do not enjoy wearing pajamas during the summer. It’s just too dang hot. But, my heart goes out to my daughter and neighbors, who should never have to see that which should at least be covered by a bathing suit. Your sleep shirt is a great compromise. It’s comfort is unparalleled.

However, I do have two issues with it:

Upon an early(ish) morning burst of energy last week, I decided it was time to do a quick clean up in the living room. Bad idea. When I commenced to bend over, your lovely night shirt refused to stay put. No longer was it covering up my girlie bits as I believed it would. I was thus bent over at a rather unfortunate angle, with my rear end facing the uncovered window when traffic started zooming past my house.

I can only apologize to any nosey neighbors who had the great misfortune of nosily looking into my house. And to my poor daughter, who is luckily too young to understand just how disgusting that all really was.

Might I suggest adding just a few inches to the bottom, so that it maybe reaches my knees?

My other beef is, well, this:

Why the tiny bow? Does the bow make this night shirt so wildly sexy that I should not be showing it on the internet without special licensing? I do not understand the bow. I consider myself to be something of a girlie-girl. But this has me stumped. I asked my husband if he found me more appealing with the tiny bow on my nightgown. Considering he didn’t even look away from the tv to answer me, I am guessing NO. It doesn’t make me feel prettier, either.

Rest assured, my handy tiny sewing scissors did a wonderful job of rendering me bow-free. Sorry if you feel I have desecrated your garment. I promise, worse has happened to your night shirts.