I took Colebert to school (day care) yesterday (after arguing with him that he had to go so Mommy could finish sleeping homework) only to realize that it was closed. There were notices. There were newsletters. I just didn’t look at them or log it in my mindlogger, so we show up – just like any other day.

It would have been cool if we went, I realized I was an idiot, we left. But nooooo. The reason it was closed was so teachers could have a day for meetings/ cleaning/etc. So we were greeted by the entire school staff instead.

I made small talk and we laughed off the fact that I was an idiot, then I mentioned that Cole would be having a birthday next week. It was a great transition. Hardly anyone even noticed I was an idiot after that. Until the teacher Cole doesn’t even like came strolling through all snotty with the,

“you are planning on bringing cupcakes, aren’t you? So we can celebrate here at school?”

I replied, with an even faker smile than hers on my face,

“Well, of course we aren’t. Everyone brings cupcakes to the kids school to celebrate birthdays. Definitely. Yeah. I’m on it. Just bought the stuff this morning. Gonna start baking now.”

Now it’s not that I mind making cupcakes. I love cupcakes. They’ll be lucky if there are any left by Tuesday. The thing is, now I feel like one of those <parents. It never even crossed my mind to have Cole take cupcakes to school. I’m sure it would have occurred to me the morning of his birthday as I was dropping him off, but then I’d have to send him in with store bought cupcakes. I have no doubt that would be frowned upon, as well.

What have I gotten myself into? I have a feeling this “mother of a student” thing will be like High School all over again. I didn’t really like High School all that much. Of course, I don’t remember much of High School … but that’s mostly because I was busy getting stoned in the alley because I hated High School. I don’t have that option these days.

Oh, what will I do to get by?

Toilet paper their houses

Make out with their boyfriends at lunch

Tell them to fuck themselves.

That sounds about right.