So it’s been how many days since I last blogged… did I take a hiatus without even knowing it? I think so. Kind of like Gray’s Anatomy and their rip off episode a few weeks ago, oh well at least I have all the Christmas shows coming up to take it’s place. Yes I am a little bit addicted to some tv. I can admit it, I don’t care. I know that some people are all like, I don’t watch tv… well congrats to you, you don’t watch tv, I do and I like it. Right now the PVR is my best friend. I don’t know what I would do without it. I think the reason I actually like tv still is because of the PVR, if I didn’t have one, I would miss everything and then maybe I would be one of those non-tv watchers. I just like the fact that I can press play and zone out for 30 minutes and not be responsible for anything other than sitting on my ass. Not a lot of people will admit that, but I have no problem. I am pretty much “Shaw On Demand” for my baby; always entertaining and trying to be new and fun and exciting with great graphics (of course I have great graphics!). So I think it is only fair that I should be allowed some time in my day where I don’t have to use my brain. I always thought that staying home with a baby would leave me using less of my brain. I have found that in a way it might, as I am not thinking as hard, but I thinking more so it feels way more exhausting. This is way more tiring brain work for me than University. That might have something to do with the kind of Unviersity student I was though; minimal attender, crunch studier and last minute paper writer. At Uni I only had some days that were like that amongst many that were smooth sailing. Everly is a crash course everyday!!

A crash course in CUTE!

In the last 4 days that I haven’t written Everly has kept on truckin’ at this little schedule of hers that she may be developing. I say MAY because I don’t want to jinx anything. Sometimes when I write about how well things are going, things get tough again, so I start to wonder, am I jinxing myself or does my head get inflated with confidence and I think I can do anything? Who knows, but at any rate, things are going really well. She is to bed around 7:30, up at 5:30am to eat and back to sleep again until 8:30 or so. Today I was a bad, bad mom and I brought her into bed with me to sleep in, we slept in until 9:30 because we were really tired. Well Everly may not have been but I was. Now that she is sleeping good I have to work on sleep training myself. Parents- why did you not sleep train me? I hope that things continue on this positive path. Well, at least until our trip to Seattle this weekend, will be interesting to see how that one goes? UGH!

Baby is leaving the country.

So I have been getting sideways glances and “feedback” about the way we have chosen to introduce solid foods to Everly. Being as fortunate as I am to have the job that I do, I have been able to take many different training courses and attend various conferences on infant/child development. One thing that I had the opportunity to learn about was the history of puree baby food and the concept of baby led weaning. Like pretty much everyone else out there I had no idea that baby food puree was invented when formula was invented to provide nutrients that the formula was missing out on. Now because such young babies were eating the baby food it had to be pureed and strained so that they would swallow it. Very young infants have the reflex to push out anything other that liquid from their mouths with their tongues… as formula started to be more complete (and mothers fortunately started nursing again- another can of beans that rots my socks), the age at which to introduce solids became older and then older again until finally experts settled on the 6 month/milestone related reference that we use today. The funny thing about all of this is that how we introduce solids to babies has not changed. We still introduce them as though they are tiny infants! By 6 months a baby is ready for some lumps and bumps and they need these things to help them develop speech sounds and to learn how to NOT choke on food. So with this in mind, we decided to go the baby led weaning  route with Everly. We don’t puree her food and we let her feed herself as much as possible. I still spoon feed her cereal because she can’t feed herself with a spoon yet and she needs the cereal because we don’t have enough iron rich foods worked in her diet at the moment. A lot of  people don’t like this way of going about introducing solids, especially older people. They shake their heads and make that tut-tut sound that basically means you are a terrible mother and your baby WILL SUFFER. Well tut-tutters, what did people do before there was jarred baby food to buy? Oh that’s right, they fed them tiny pieces of food from their hands or a tray, hmmmm, we are all still here and we learned how to eat, funny thing that is.

Yes I feed myself and it gets messy!

How is it that nearly everyone I know has almost finished or has completely finished Christmas shopping, decorating and wrapping. I tried to start wrapping stocking stuff last week but it just didn’t happen and I won’t be putting my tree up until it is December. I know that my “mom” friends have to jump at the opportunity when it presents itself so they got everything done while they could. I am a “mom” friend, why have I not jumped at the opportunities when I have had them? I always thought I was the festive one. Maybe not. Christmas is really stressing me out this year, probably because I have less than half of the amount of money that I used to be able to put towards it. Now I know the Christmas is not about the gifts and blah, blah, blah, but it kind of is. Do we really thing that so many people would enjoy and celebrate Christmas if there were no gifts? I am here to play the devil’s advocate and say that no, no there would not. To me, the real fun of Christmas is getting things for everyone that you know they are going to like. I love hunting for gifts and watching the reciepient’s face when they open the present and see that it’s just what they wanted/needed and there is this moment where they look and you and are all like, you were listening to me when I spoke. I listen and I like to deliver. This year I have had to be a bit more creative. What we are giving might not have been on everyone’s lists, but I can guarantee there will be no returns and no unhappy reciepients, they just didn’t know it existed and that they could ask for it… sneaky, sneaky, sneaky!

Christmas Baby!

When I feel truly harmonious, everything else just kind of slips to the back of my mind like shadows on a dashboard. And I pass through the sun, feeling the warmth on my cheek. Sunbeams creep through my window but never shadows or the things that try and grab at me. I just am, laughing and crying tears of joy, stomach crumpled in a good kind of pain. Walking through school, dashing behind trash cans to hide from boys, or sitting in Chinese, giggling at something that happened on a bus ride home a few days ago. This is the loud kind of peace, a happy existence.

It is the song that is sung from the boy’s voice as he pulls us together to play a kind of question game, sitting down in a bus. When we all laugh and even the quiet kid is brought out of his shell. Turns out he likes an audience. And the girls I didn’t even know existed remark about my eyes. And the questioning boy begins talking in third person. This is the time that my soul sings out to the stars, in a content way. No more walking alone. I have people to hug now.

In some ways, it is better than the other kind of song, the song that my heart sings when I felt his polyester shoulders or when I talked with that guy. That felt true, and great, and natural, but it’s only temporary, after all. I can love them one moment and hate them the next. It is a kind of mellow peace, until it rips and needs to be sewn up. You go onto another person, digging more holes, finding more shovels, crashing more ladders. It is temporary, and though it may feel great, it can’t compare to what I feel for those I sit with every day.

I prefer the former to the latter, though at times it doesn’t seem to be so. I like the busier kind of peace, like a warm glow of a party fireplace, because I know it will last. I can look into his eyes and feel nothing but still be fully happy. I can glance into her eyes and joke around with her like we have eternity to spend as we are. Friends don’t demand as much. They don’t feel as natural sometimes, but they’re there for you.

Unlike the latter.

habba babba <3

jónapvolt o.O
holnapmégjobblesz.
csakmert márpéntek.
4óra. *.*

anyátok :C

I have to say that the 30 day mark brough us some interesting changes. For one, Everly now makes very little fuss when she is put down to sleep. In fact she does this really cute little ritual of playing with her hippo and talking. I think she is telling the hippo a sleep time story. We keep the hippo in the crib, so she only gets him at sleep times- creating novelty we are! It is so nice to just lay her down and she falls asleep. This was our biggest problem and it began to be solved, how lucky were we!

Then she started a new routine of consistent night waking and staying up for 2 hours. Needless to say, I was quickly eager to kick this experience to the curb, as I didn’t think it was beneficial to anyone in our family or entire household. I read an article about trained night feeders and another about the possibility of backsliding to multiple feedings each night because of night feeds for babies who really didn’t need them… a 4:30 am feeding becomes 4:00, and then 3:30 and then 3:00 and so on and so on… this is what was happening to us. Then I read another article about morning rituals and we were guilty of a confusing morning ritual as well… gawd! All of this googling happened between the wee hours of 1:00 am and 3:00 am while I was waiting for her to fall back asleep on Sunday night.

When we started the sleep training I just fed Everly when she woke up in the middle of the night. The first week of training the middle of the night was around 5:00 am (yes I know that’s not the middle of the night but it felt like it, lol). The week after that it was 4:00 am, and then 3:00 am and then 2:00 am. Each time I fed her she would go back to sleep for another 3 or 4 hours. Initially when the feedings were very early morning another stretch of 3 or 4 hours was perfect. However, once she was waking at 2:00 am, one night feeding became two and she started staying awake and wanting to play. This was not a habit I wanted us to get into because if she didn’t need it before, why did she need it now… well I realized that she needed to eat to get back to sleep. So we decided to eliminate any feedings that occurred before 5:00 am (a baseline time we knew she could comfortably do). I read a lot about how to know when a baby is ready to eliminate night time feeds and it looks as though she qualifies by age, health and size; I also have an appointment with our doctor on Thursday to confirm these findings. 

So, to eliminate night waking we have begun the process of gradually eliminating the 5:00 am feeding. Last night I let her eat until she was drowsy again and it took 15 minutes, so tonight she eats for no more than 14 minutes. Apparently once you get to 5 minutes and under the baby will eliminate the feeding all on their own. The night before last was the first night we tried this and she protested, oh did she protest! I was up for 3 hours in the middle of the night waiting for her to fall back asleep. I just needed to know if it was possible- and it was! Last night she didn’t wake up until 5:00 am again, so I got a blissful 7 hours worth of sleep. I feel a bit drunk truth be told

Our morning ritual was another speed bump that we had to level. When she would want that 5:00 or 6:00 am feeding, I would bring her into bed and lay down while feeding her and of course we would fall asleep. Now how confusing must that have been for her. No wonder she would wake in the middle of the night and be upset. She had no idea that 2:00 am was not 5:00 am, she just knew she wanted to be fed to sleep in our bed and that sometimes it happens, so we had to cut that out. Yesterday and today I fed her on the couch and put her back in her crib and both times she slept until 8:00 am (longer than she does in our bed!). So now I feel super guilty of course as I was confusing the crap out of her because I wanted to get in a little more sleep. Well I have now learned to not underestimate her. I thought she wouldn’t go back to sleep if I put her back in her crib at that time of the morning. Turns out that if she is still tired she will sleep- what a novel idea. I promptly apologized to her. She can still come in to our bed in the morning for a little play time so we can cuddle, I don’t want to give that up, that is my favourite part of the day, it’s when the 3 of us feel most like a family to me

So here’s to having another night like last night, but with only 14 minutes of eating at 5:00 am!

akit érdekel itt letöltheti illegálisan az új Lady Gaga albumot.

http://www.mediafire.com/?gthmmzuynj5 CD1
http://www.mediafire.com/?2gjg55l3wdu CD2

jobbatvártam.de nem rossz.

régebbről. <3

Or like the dead, your choice. Me, myself, and I, sleep in sweet peace AND like the dead. True story.

I’ve known about my – shall we call it? – sleeping ability. Yeah, that’s it, for a while now. Notice I did not call it a disability. To me it’s not. I go to sleep. I sleep like the dead. I wake up, go to work, or whatever. No insomnia, never had it. No slight noise jerking me awake at o’dark thirty.

Sweet sleep. Most times. Unless, I have nightmares. I have a standard recurring one. I watched Red Dawn so many times, that I have a dream where aliens encounter like the Russians. Their ships descend, and they rappel down on the terrified people.

It gets a little weird after that, because the safe ground we run to is a cemetery. The cemetery residents come alive, crawling from their graves sites, and pushing up more than daisies. Well then, NO where is safe. I guess that’s the moral of the dream. That, and don’t let your children watch Red Dawn, Night of the Living Dead, American Werewolf in London, or Alien movies at a young tender age. Mkay?

All that, and not to mention as a little girl, I would wake up at night convinced there were demons in the room with me (shudder). The only way I could go back to sleep was to sing the ONLY Christian song I knew (we didn’t go to Church), which was from choir, called My Lord. So you can see why I don’t wake up at night. I just don’t. I sleep. I learned at young tortured age -thanks mom and dad – to JUST sleep. No matter what, SLEEP.

As an adult, this is really awesome. I hear about so many people, (via Facebook) that have all these sleeping problems. Not so for me, I lay my head down and I am out. BLISS, pure bliss. Nothing can wake me up. In fact, I used to set three alarms in different parts of the room. Now, thank goodness, I only need one and it’s set to crickets. I assume crickets wake me up because it’s not the freeway sounds I’m used to.

The freeway is right out the back door. I don’t mean it’s out the back door, down the hill, through the meadow, and THEN there is the pesky, noisy highway. No. I mean out the back door, ten steps to the fence, over the fence is the access road, and RIGHT next to the access road, separated by an illegal exit from a traffic jam a grassy embankment, is the FREEWAY. The noisy truck roaring, trailers banging, tire wheel crunching freeway. It bothers me not a bit, because? I sleep dead sweet.

So get this, I wake up two nights ago, yeah I know, I actually do arouse (in my defense the window was wide open). I hear sirens, somewhere around 4am. They started off way in the distance and get louder, and louder, and louder – then rrrruppppt. They stop. Like right outside behind my place. Then I hear another siren, rrreeeow, rrreeeeow – closer and closer – errrooowwww, rruupppppt!

My thought was, ohmygosh, they are right outside! I should get up, go look, and see what is going on. I promptly fell back asleep. THEN, I wake up again (barely) my puppy is in her crate, shaking it. It’s LOUD in the room. Salem barks, and puppy Anna is making this sad little noise between a bark, a yelp, and whine. Merufferrrffft. Merufferrffft. It was the oddest thing I have ever heard. Of course I tell her to shut up, so I can go back to sleep – which I do. I’m convinced it was self-induced because – I’m just sayin’ – demons could have been around, YIKES.

Next day, I see my roommate John, my niece’s boyfriend, all excited he is like, “Hey, did you hear that last night?”

Suddenly I perk up, because I realize, I did hear something and it wasn’t just the sirens was it? (or demons?) I tell him about the sirens. He says, “Yeah, I heard them too. I could see emergency lights flashing through our window. I get up to go see, when it sounds like a PLANE is landing on top of the house.”

I’m like, “NO WAY!!!”. It hits me how Anna was shaking, and scared out of her mind, SHE wasn’t shaking the crate, what was passing over us was shaking the crate, and the whole house. I CAN’T BELIEVE I SLEPT THROUGH THAT.

John told me how freaked out he was – it was sooo loud – all the walls were vibrating. He went outside. Sure enough, several emergency vehicles, and a helicopter – ON THE FREEWAY. He checked the paper the next day but couldn’t find out what happened (obviously an accident).

But I know what really happened. I slept through a friggin’ helicopter practically landing on our roof. WOW.

Most of you know Jason is diabetic, type 1, takes the shots. AND it is possible (and has happened) that he could go low in his blood sugar (need insulin), have seizures in his sleep, and go into a coma. Yeah, a coma. Unless, say his wife (this happened too) wakes up, calls an ambulance, and saves his life.

So imagine, his reaction upon hearing this story, “What happens if we get married, and I go into a coma? Who is going to wake up, and call the ambulance?”

For once, my special sleeping ability IS a disability. FAIL. However, my only answer, because obviously – my track record is very bad – I have FAITH. I have faith, that I would wake up, or Salem would wake me up. I have to believe I would know. Just know, supernaturally.

If a ghost can use an alarm to wake me up, ha, I just got why it used an alarm, since that is the ONLY thing that would wake me up. Then by gosh, I can be woken up. I would sense danger…. I just know it. I believe that. I trust God. (let’s not even mention NOW with him living ALONE, what happens NOW? Same thing FAITH)

So, Jason, don’t worry my friend. Sleep sweet, if the times comes, I won’t let you down. (but if we get married, we should totally get another dog just in case) I’m really proud of myself, how I obscurely threw that in.

P.S. Sydney slept through it too. Yeah, if a tornado comes, we’re doomed.

ahh jonap. x)
suli szarvolt.főleg földrajz.
meg irodalom.arohadék o.o

deaztánvoltittminden.kapuccsínós dohány <3
fájatüdőm.hiperaktív voltam ma:C
és retrohangulat.fázom.

It’s a dead world…
And it’s about that time to clear things here!
One generation follows another…
But something in my head says:
Keep going! don’t give up!

Cold sweat – running down my back!
I don’t fear the chaos!
A reason to fight is not making a stronger man
Cause they don’t understand!
I won’t calm down! I won’t calm down!
What am I supposed to do?
It’s hard to realize that the time is running out!
Pow! we’re on the move! resist worldwide!
Cause it takes two…
Your money is full of blood and I know this for sure -
We’re gonna take over!
Radical! terrorize! and I’m not gonna tell you lies!
Our chances are low – too many problems we got!
Fuck the police! blow them out!

Destroy 2000 years of culture! destroy 2000 years of culture! (x4)
(move! we gotta move! move! we gotta move!) (x 3)

Move! I shout it out loud!
We’re radical and we’re proud of it…
Change the things – together we stand and load the gun and make ‘em swing’!
Love is a wonderful thing – a secret – a game
And I sing the song of freedom to hate!
Try to think international!

Destroy 2000 years of culture! destroy 2000 years of culture!
Destroy!
Destroy 2000 years of culture! destroy! destroy! (x3)
Destroy 200 years of culture! (x3)
(move! we gotta move! move! we gotta move!) (x2)
Destroy 2000 years

Your freedom to speak is a freedom to lie
Whatever it takes to change .. I’m up for it!
There’s no place where noone gets hurt…
A place where I can be on my own!
You should feel guilty if you’re just watching!
There’s this pain and a constant sound in my head…
They always try and get you back to what they define as reality!
There’s nothing to lose but watch your back!
It’s cold out here… (don’t wait too long!)

Destroy 2000 years of culture! destroy! destroy! (x6)
(move! we gotta move! move! we gotta move!) (x4)
Destroy 2000 years of culture! destroy 2000 years of culture!

tegnap leltem.teccős. ♥

Last night was not too bad. She went to bed great, less than a minute of protesting! She woke around midnight and talked to herself for 30 minutes and then went back to sleep and didn’t get up until 5:00 am for a feeding. After than she slept until shortly after 7:00 am and was up for the day with a giant poop- yeay baby. Are we seeing a new trend, is it too early to say that… well a girl can dream can’t she! LOL! Look at me, it has only been 2 weeks and I am expecting miracles. This is a behaviour change, theories say it is going to take at least 21 days right! If after 21 days she still is digging in her heals we might have to think of some alternative living arrangements… i.e. she sleeps out in a shed, don’t worry the shed would be heated. Obviously I am kidding, well kind of kidding, no really kidding- seriously.

I have to say though that naps are great! Naps started out being the most difficult thing and now they are the easiest. She goes down with very little or no protesting and sleeps great. Her morning nap (the one allowing me to type this) is usually a nice long one, maybe because she has her oat cereal right before it? Does cereal help babies sleep longer? I am trying to decide if I should feed her the cereal at bedtime too. I have put this question out to other moms to get their opinions… what do you think? Dinner time cereal or bed time cereal? Guess there is really only one way to find out if it works for us and that’s to try it. Maybe tonight.

When we feed Everly her cereal now she takes a bite, chews it up and then smacks her hand on the table until you have another scoop ready, then she chews it and starts smacking the table again… could it be said that she is using gestures to communicate with us? I think we might have to start teaching her the sign for more! She started saying the “Na” saound this week, which my Nana and her Nanny think is great of course. All the little sounds she can make now are so interesting, especially when she strings them together to form some sort of gobiltygook language, it’s really cute to listen to in the middle of the night (and that is saying a lot!).

And there’s the gobiltygook now, time to get her up for the day and see what kind of adventures we will have!

Nice instructional, very handy.

Ever have a problem in a source game, where your microphone makes weird and really loud noises, but it only happens in that game.  I was having the same problem in Counter-Strike Source, so I started playing around in the Windows recording control, and found a fix.  I found it on Windows Vista/7, if you right-click the volume icon in the system try->Click Recording Devices->Click your microphone device you want to use->Click Properties->Go to the Custom tab->Uncheck AGC->Click the two OKs.

This is Matt Mulholland performing every part of Ray Parker Jr.’s Ghostbusters by combining 14 seperate tracks of him making noises. This guy has WAY too much time on his hands.

[via]

Herrow!

blah.

i feel so poop at the moment. maybe i should have started this post with some kinda warning…

*Warning, Miserable, Angry, Irritated Rant Will Follow (Possibly)*

everything seems so ridiculous and annoying and frustrating and difficult and pointless and wrong at the moment. it feels kinda like everythings against me, which is stupid, cuz i know it isnt.

everything pretty much everything and everyone does seems to make me angry or irritate me, and it doesn’t even have any reason too.

bleh.

im a silly billy, i know.

but hey.

rantings good, it gets it out of the nostrils.

desperate housewives – season five. well. its such an amaising season, but for some reason, and im not sure why (probably just the mood im in at the moment) it seems kinda dark and depressing… which is weird cuz at the same time its one of the funnier seasons…

has to be said my favorite character in this season is definately Lee… funny AND pretty good looking… (sorry Ashley) :p

im thinking i should live on Wisteria Lane… i sound pretty full of myself, but hey, id be an awesome character

young, gay interior design whos slightly physcotic and 100% weird, lives on the far side of totally UN-cool and realy couldnt give a baboons teacup about it

id paint my house lime green and live next door to Lynette

yeah, anyway… moving on from dream land…

my ear keeps making funny noises in my head… its so annoying… its kinda like a cross between an irregular pulse, and a 3 day old guinnea pig trying to play drums… im gonna go insane, i swear!

and with that… im off… to go insane… maybe hack off my ear… its the left one, just so you know…

these little noises (like invisible shadows) are everywhere

stalking

interrupting my thoughts

and i keep coming back to the same question

of how you came to this point

this little

black

dot on a map

that i never would have guessed to be you

….’till you take your head out and sort the mess.

I have been floating around the target for days now… application to the important things perhaps and thats fantastic, but there are still obligations. Some things are seamless.. you don’t know where one thing starts and the other ends. But now i know that there must be structure to most things in order for them to work the way you want. Perhaps a compromise will make the goal easier to reach… I may want one thing… but i wont have that opportunity until i try another thing.. and now it seems like a mess. Perhaps because it is all slower, perhaps because it is all up in the air and i don’t know what i am doing exactly. I have all the tools sitting there and looking at me.. but i fail to apply what is needed… as if my body has given up.

Put the pieces together and sort it out, its that simple.

So lets sort it out – right here and now… what is there to consider..

The Life – and all Six parts of it…

The Book – and the hours that must be committed

The Occupation – And the Deadlines

The Airwaves – That open my eyes

The Words – To which this will go a long way

The Noises – that are everywhere and i am missing at every opportunity

The New Music – that has a new face, one that i have yet to say hello to

The Images – That forever will be lost

The Old Music – That feeds the veins

And i wonder if it is at all possible… we will knock off one in three short weeks.. the others as time passes.. but there is nothing stopping the on going practice… the ongoing ideals and ideas.

Dont listen to them, this time its just you – it’s just you, and you have to do it…. you have to sort out the mess – This is where you like to be.

In the black – between lightbulbs that shine on nothing within your walls.. blank canvas – double guarded.. not obliged to be or do anything – let loose and free to be free. They say it is inferior – they say they are superior… what they dont understand is the liberation of it all – no longer involved in it.. it doesn’t matter who you know and what you said and did with who and where.. its not about this or that event any more… its not about the involvement, it’s not about that time we will meet…

… it’s just a number between 1 and 100.  Its just another percentage, just another average, just another one.

It’s not the difference you will point out.

And why did it start here? Why in this way, so subtle.. i returned to this, left it for so long and wondered why it had not reared it’s head before.. and i am thankful for what i have.. and the 13 that i never even noticed coming and going. The other 12 had seemed so substantial… but now its just another number… and i rejoice in reaching the point when it is just another number before 24….36….48…. and whenever else…

There is nothing better.. and smiles will shine from the black, as i dip my head in different waves, some older and some more contemporary. This is not just about the best new vibrations any more… must take time to sort it out and lift the roof up higher.

Expansion… development… enhance and perfect. .. perfect… and be proud.

September 28th, 2009

When you’re a new parent, you really try not to read into everything . . . unsuccessfully, that is.  I can remember walking into newborn Sadie’s room many-a-time in the middle of the night and positioning myself low to listen for her little breaths.  I recall little sounds and gestures that she made that we tried to ignore, but internally sent us into a tailspin.  Time would not allow me to recount the number of times we “borrowed” the services of our good friend from church who was a Physician’s Assistant . . . just to have him look at a rash, listen to a sound with his stethoscope, or to take a gander inside her ears with his otoscope.  You know, just to be safe.

But there was one sound that Sadie began making when she was just a few months old that didn’t worry us much.  We needed no medical opinion about it and we weren’t at all concerned . . . amused would be a better adjective.  I possess no explanation for it and to this day, I’m not sure where it came from or why Sadie chose to adopt this particular form of communication.  For no apparent reason, our sweet little princess decided to start growling.  That’s right . . . growling.

I think that it had to do with experimental sounds.  Each week, Sadie (like most babies, I assume) would discover new noises that she possessed the ability to make.  She was energized by her own empowerment.  Screaming.  Cooing.  Babbling.  Laughing.  Squealing. Only true parents know the distinct differences between screaming and squealing.  Much like the Lewis and Clark-style expedition of her own little world that included such discoveries as: her belly button, her toes, the fact that her toes fit comfortably in her mouth, Da Da’s belly button, and many other amazing things; the auditory journey towards unveiling every conceivable possibility of clamor, clatter, and general racket was her infant claim to fame.  Early on, her ability to blow “raspberries” with her mouth rivaled the skill of any Chinese acrobat or Russian gymnast.

But no other sound was more intriguing than her growl.  You’ll have to hear it for yourself to appreciate it in all its glory . . . you’ll also hear Da Da “helping” with some of the growling.  Simply click on the following link and an audio file should open up in Quicktime or your Media Player.

Sadie Monster Audio

Sadie is a sweetheart.  There are very few times in life that she doesn’t smile at me any time we see each other.  She has a very pleasant disposition and besides the normal isolated moments of teachability, she is sugary sweet.  That’s the funny part about her growling: it’s just another amusing noise to her.  In fact, we soon learned that sometimes we could induce the growling with the right sequence of persuasive techniques.  That’s why when Sadie makes her growling noises . . . and only when she makes them . . . we call her our little “Sadie Monster.”

We’ve spoken to other parents who had their own little growlers.  They could relate to our early confusion and our later entertainment.  At the end of the day, that’s just what babies are all about: discovery . . . and discovery takes on many different forms.

Now if I’m being completely honest, finding the spiritual parallel for the fact that my little girl sometimes growls like a little wolfman does seem like a slightly daunting task.  Ah, but have faith, my friend . . . it’s not that difficult to see if we just look through the lenses of the divine Parent.  It’s all about uniqueness.  Some tots communicate with coos and cuddles while others want to growl and wrestle.  One thing that is certain about children: you can never be certain about what they will do or how they will express themselves.  Like homosapien snow flakes, no two children are identical . . . even twins that may share an exact physical likeness cannot share a personality.

Our individuality is one of most convincing pieces of evidence of the eternal creativity of the divine Father.  We could explore fingerprints, snowflakes, or DNA as examples of uniqueness, but I think it’s just as pertinent to explore the reasons why God chose to let each member of humanity possess such unique individual traits.  Skeptics use this as the an argument for the lack of a creator, but what if it’s simply a testament to the infinite capacity of the Creator to love without end each individual in His own unique way?

A relationship with God is offered to every person because each person’s distinctive characteristics are completely known and beautifully-appreciated.  I’m not saying that God is pleased with all of our attributes or that our faults are hidden from Him.  Contrary to the lyrics of a popular song back in the 1990’s, God is not watching us “from a distance.”  Nope, He is front row and center as an observer and a character in the story of our lives.  The degree of his involvement is another variable contingent upon our unique choices.  We must all uniquely decide if He will take the lead or simply be an extra in the background of our drama.

But when it’s all said and done, He knows our laughter and He knows our growling.  He understands our struggles and appreciates our individuality.  He sees our weakness and has done more than simply sympathize with us; He has stretched out His hand to offer us life by the ending of His own.  Now if that’s not a uniquely-crafted plan that points to the source of our inherited uniqueness, I don’t know what is.

As Psalm 139:1 (NLT) says, “O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.” There are a lot of “me’s” out there for God to know, but just as there is the potential for infinite versions of people to exist each in their own distinctive uniqueness, there is greater potential for the Creator to know each one in complete intimacy.

For Sadie, I delight in her growl . . . even if it’s not what every other kid does . . . especially since it’s not.  She’s uniquely mine and I am uniquely His, even when I look and sound like no one else on earth.