I am rabidly anti-artificial-sweetener.  I’m not quite to the point of a whole family—it was almost like their personal religion—I used to know who got on such a rampage that they would write “TOXIC” on Equal packets in restaurants, but it’s definitely something I (usually) am pretty adamant about.

Thing is, aspartame, sucralose, and the like really are bad for you.  I’m not riding any kind of moral/pc high horse here, but it doesn’t take a medical degree to know that ingesting straight chemicals that we don’t know the effects of yet on a daily basis is not going to be your best idea.  There are some crazy people out there who decry them, yes, but there’s a glut of legitimate research that says you might want to think twice.

Dunno, just Google it and see for yourself.  As for me and my house, we avoid the stuff.

Except for this week.  I’ve had a Diet Coke almost every day this week.

I’m not sure you understand the significance of this.  I don’t take many stands regarding food.  Obviously.  I’m currently cutting back on sweets, and I hope to keep it that way, but if I ended up needing some peanut butter M&Ms at some point, I wouldn’t feel like I’d betrayed a personal principle.  (I’d just feel, briefly, like a fat failure, but I’d get over it after once I’d sunk my teeth into approximately 5 colorful candy shells.)

Beyond that, though, artificial sweetener actually does me physical harm.  I identified it as a migraine trigger a while back, and I quit it on the spot.  For a while there, just the thought of that weird fake-tasting bite almost gave me a headache.  With that and all the other risks, it’s just not been worth it to me.

I haven’t had anything diet—i.e., containing artificial sweetener—in months.  In fact, though I don’t recall the exact time frame, I remember the last time I had a diet drink.  It was months ago, at least—another weird craving.  Before that, it had been several months as well.

For me, and mock me all you want, drinking a Diet Coke is roughly equivalent to being a vegetarian and eating a hamburger.  I just haven’t been able to stop myself these past few days.  I’ve had four.

I don’t know what to do about this.  Obviously, I don’t need to keep drinking them.  I don’t want to reverse all the progress I’ve made with my migraines.  So, I’ll stop.  I hope the weird craving goes away so it will be easier to do so.

Whole Wheat Pasta with Pumpkin Cream Sauce

Ingredients:

• 1 pound Whole Wheat Pasta prepared as packet says to prepare
• 8 oz pumpkin puree (about half a can)
• 1 Cup milk
• 1 Cup water or stock
• 2 tsp fresh sage, finely chopped
• 1 onion, minced
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 2 generous handfuls grated Gruyere cheese
• salt

Directions:

1. In a medium saucepan, heat a few tablespoons of oil over medium-low heat. Add the onions and saute until translucent (bordering on golden)
2. Add the nutmeg. Saute for another minute
3. Add pumpkin, milk, and stock; stir gently until incorporated.
4. Add the sage.
5. Reduce heat and cook the sauce VERY GENTLY until it’s reduced by about 1/3.
6. Add the cheese, whisking vigorously to make sure it’s properly incorporated.
7. Toss the sauce with the pasta, distributing evenly. Serve with more cheese.

Results: It was pretty tasty! The pumpkin wasn’t as prevalent as I would have wished, but I love pumpkin, so that’s no surprise, really. I made this [doubled] as a meal for myself and a bunch of friends for our Up! viewing party. Jeff and I love Up! alot, so we had one the day it came out on DVD. That’s not about the food though. They all seemed to like it! They claimed to, and got seconds. I recommend it.

Recipe from Pithy And Cleaver

The Herr with Up!

Mom and I went to the Loyal Biscuit today to get me another bag of my yummy food. Unfortunately, they were all out of the Acana Grasslands which is what I normally eat. It was a good thing though, because I am now able to try one of the other types of food, Acana Pacfica.

Acana Pacifica

The difference between the two is while Grasslands is lamb based, Pacifica is fish based. The main ingredients are salmon, herring, and flounder. And because it contains a lot of fish, it has this stuff called omega-3 that helps boost a pup’s immune system and keep our coats nice and shiny. Sounds like all good things to me.

But how does it taste? Well, my mom let me have a little nibble in the car on the way to Rockport Harbor. At first I spit it out because it wasn’t quite what I had expected; but after awhile I decided to give it another go. I actually quite like it.

I also was given a sample treat from the company Stella & Chewy’s. Stella and Chewy’s makes a line of raw food and treats for pups. They use all natural (meaning no hormones or antibiotics) meats and organic produce like broccoli, cranberries, spinach and beets to make their freeze dried and frozen food. I got to try a small sample of the Dandy Lamb Freeze-Dried Dinner. It was very, very tasty and I gobbled it right up. I was very upset though because Lauren also gave mom a sample for Gracie Lynn that I wasn’t allowed to have. I was kind of hoping that Gracie wouldn’t like it so I could have it, but she gobbled it right up too.

Happy yummy tail wags!

It’s just been Dashboard Confessional hour! It’s probably the first time I’ve listened to DC since seeing them at Reading Festival in 2001. Standing in the crowd with a bunch of emo wankers all singing along to the songs made me want to puke my own ringpiece up. It was excrutiating to watch and made me realise how clichéd it all was. My only consolation was meeting the fitty singer backstage later but it wasn’t quite enough to win me back. Still, it was interesting to revisit that moment in time for an hour tonight.  I’ve now moved on to a slightly less whiney and more sinister Death Cab for Cutie.  My attention span for most songs is around 3 minutes before hitting skip. I Will Possess Your Heart has an intro over 4 minutes and 30 seconds and you’d think it would be tiresome but it works. It’s actually better than the stalkeresque dialogue in the song. I’d post a link to it if Warner Bros weren’t a stack of chumps deleting it from YouTube, forcing dire rip off videos and tinny live versions. 

I had a super efficient day today. Up, dressed and out the door by 8am to take the dog out and then go on a mission to find some trousers. Too bad this anus of a town only has one bus AN HOUR around my way on a Sunday and I missed it so I came home and pottered until the next one. I crammed in some power shopping, stocking up on everything I needed toiletry wise, tried on untold amounts of skinny jeans, bought a few tops and then set about finding another pair of proper work trousers. I bought a really nice pair the week before I started but had to get them taken in two weeks later because they got too big. This week it became really obvious that I had to get a new pair, wandering around like MC Hammer and constantly yanking them up is not a good look on anyone. Hammer will tell you that, I’m sure.  I had vouchers from M&S to use up and they would normally go on undies but I have more underwear than makes sense right now so I bought boring, safe and not in anyway fun at all, black trousers.  Ugh.

Then I went straight to the pub for a beer breakfast and a roast lunch with Poppy. No boyfriend in tow so I didn’t have to put on any airs and graces or feel like an outcast. Yay. I listened to her being all floaty light about her new boy. I stuffed myself with roast chicken and sticky toffee pudding for pud. I think I went a bit crazy on the sugar. We tried hatching a plan for Tim Lovejoy to spend christmas day at my house but all plans made me sound like a mentalist. As does writing about said plans, but hey ho, it’s my first Christmas day off in 9 years – I’d like it to be a good one instead of sitting around in my pants with a tub of Pringles or something.

After recovering from the food wooze we went to check out a empty industrial laundry building. It was sealed up tighter than a gnat’s chuff. I bet there’s some delights to be had in there. I need to get one of those Dremel hand tool things, arf!  Then it was off to find an ugly christmas jumper for Poppy, y’know with raindeers and snowflakes on. No such luck.  Life can be a real shit sometimes.

Ali was due to come over tonight. Oh yes, some other emergency cropped up to prevent her from making it here. The dog ate her homework probably. I wasn’t really expecting her to turn up so I’m not that bothered. It is comedic though. I really don’t know why she bothers asking, to make herself feel better perhaps?  I’m far too tolerant for my own good. 

Finally, Jedward have made it through to next weeks X-Factor. I’m not surprised to be honest. The shiny suits, the Queen/Vanilla Ice mash up and out of time dance moves. Brilliance. Give me my money Mr Bookmaker, it’s a done deal surely. Hand it over, cough it up, pay the piper, gimme gimme gimme!

Chicken Pasta with Thyme-Mint Cream Sauce

Ingredients:

• 1 pound pasta, such as linguine or fettucini
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 1/4 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs, cut into 1-inch cubes
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup of dry white wine
• 1/2 cup chicken stock
• 1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 2 Tbsp chopped fresh mint
• 1 1/2 Tbsp chopped fresh thyme
• 1 teaspoon lemon zest
• 2 teaspoons honey
• 1 teaspoon sherry vinegar or apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt and more salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Heat 4 quarts of salted* water in a large pot for the pasta. As the water heats, prepare the chicken. Heat olive oil in a large skillet on medium high. Season the chicken pieces generously with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Add the chicken pieces, spreading them out initially and then not stirring them, so they have an opportunity to brown. Once lightly browned on one side, use tongs to flip the pieces over so they brown on the second side. When pieces are browned on both sides, and just cooked through, remove to a paper towel lined plate.
2. Deglaze the pan with white wine. Use a wooden spoon to scrape up the browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the chicken stock and let liquids reduce by half (turn up the heat if necessary). Add the cream, mint, thyme, lemon zest, honey, salt, and vinegar. Reduce the sauce by half again.
3. Once the pasta water is boiling, add the pasta and cook following directions on pasta package. When pasta is ready, drain and add to cream sauce when cream sauce has been reduced by half and is thick enough to coat a spoon. Add chicken to the pasta and sauce. Add more salt and pepper to taste.

Results: Well, when it first came out, it was terrible. It kind’ve tasted like chicken-pasta dipped in tea. Yeeaah. About that. No thanks. However, as a leftover, I was surprised. It was delicious! Perfect for work lunches.

Recipe from Simply Recipes

Tonight my mom gave me an extra special treat. I was completely ready to not even try it because the main ingredient was broccoli.

Ew

Mom was inspired by a post Angelica made on her blog, Life From the Dome. It was about Leo’s dinner and it involved cooked broccoli sprinkled with a Parmesan cheese. Cheese is my weakness. Sometimes I think I might be part mouse, but my mom reassures me that I am all dog. My mom knew this technique might get me to eat my veggies, and it worked. I tried the dreaded green stuff, and I actually liked it! So thank you Angelica for inspiring my mom to make me this new treat. It’s quite yummy.

If you’d like to try to feed your dog broccoli and cheese, make sure you use the cheese sparingly because it’s more of a treat than an everyday food.

Happy, yummy tail wags!

I know a lot of my recent post have been about food. I can’t really help it sometimes because I am controlled by my belly. My thoughts often go to the things that are edible, and some that aren’t. You never really know if you can eat something unless you try, and trust me, I try. But besides my tummy, the other reason I’ve been talking about food is because my diet gets changed up a bit as the weather gets colder.

Last year, I came down with an awful case of the itches. Everything itched; my feet, my legs, my back, my neck, everything. There wasn’t a single flea on me to cause all of that itching, it turned out I just had really dry skin. As the temperature drops, my humans fiddle around with this thing on the wall and all of a sudden really hot air starts blowing up from the floor. That’s what was drying me out and making me all itchy. So, after another trip to The Loyal Biscuit for a talk with Lauren (she really does know a lot about us doggies), she suggested my mom add fish oil to my food.  The Spectrum Fish Oil comes in these little pill like things and all my mom does is poke it with a pin and squeeze it all over my food once a day. Sadly, it doesn’t smell fishy at all, but I guess that’s a good thing for you humans. The oil comes from anchovies, mackerel, and sardines and Spectrum makes sure that every product is tested by a third party to make sure there are little to no contaminants like mercury or lead. I don’t really know what all of that means, but my mom assures me that it’s a very good thing.

Happy tail wags!

I type this through a codeine/weed/food haze. I just quaffed a huge bowl of pasta, veggies and halloumi. That alone would be enough to make me feel all cosy but add the other two elements and my brain is shot to shittery. I wouldn’t normally resort to all three in one stitting but I’m dealing with the womb of doom right now and have been since Friday night so I think I deserve a little bit of slack.  I went for a wax on Friday morning , the lady went to town on me bigtime and I think the shock jolted my womb into action after a two month hiatus.  Needless to say I’m pleased there are no mini Hev’s hiding in there but the pain, oh the pain.  Excrutiating.

I had my hair appointment on Friday. The Earth Song experience should have been a warning to me but I ignored it. I’m sat in the chair when Meatloaf started playing over the speakers. It was too late for me to leave by this point, bimbo hairdresser had already applied the colour. A couple of nasty dance tracks later and Michael Bolton comes on to harrass me.  I really should have run out of there, with hair dye streaming down my neck to the safety of home but noooooo. I let them wash the colour off and in the process, the stylist managed to create a dreadlock the size of a big fat sausage.  I only noticed it after I spotted the look of horror on the guys face as he was trying to untangle it. I took over because I couldn’t bear to watch him tugging at my hair with a fear face on.  20 minutes and half a bottle of conditioner later, I told them to cut it out because it was so knotted. I have no idea what the fuck he did to my hair in the basin to do that, but he’s made The List for it.  They had to take more off my hair than I wanted to bring it in line with the now missing chunk. They also dyed it the most boring shade of brown instead of the colour I picked out so I look like someone’s mum now. I would have been better off doing it all myself and pocketting the £75 for a rainy day. When will I learn?! Pssh.  

I need to come up with a plan for next Saturday. About 5 minutes from my house is Swinefever’s biggest organised fireworks display. Last year I was not aware of this and it sounded like a warzone. I had to watch Hollydog try to run through partition walls, sit on my tits with her panty face right in mine, shaking and wimpering. I ended up staying up with her all night and when she refused to go out for a wee even though it was daylight, I had to put a towel down on the kitchen floor for her. It was horrible.  I had planned to dose her up with valium and drive out to the sticks for the hour that it’s on and unless I can sweet talk someone with a car, that isn’t going to happen.  My back up plan is to take her out for the whole day to a nearby forest.  I’m hoping she will spend a few hours chasing things around, then we can come back, the stereo can go on full blast and hope she sleeps through it. I’m not optimistic but we’ll see.

Back to work tomorrow.  Oh joy.

Need hugs, ain’t got hugs.  Will have to settle for a mini milk and some codeine instead.  Bleh.

Fall brings a lot of things. Cooler air, falling leaves (which are really fun to chase. Really, try it!), apples, sweaters, Howl-o-ween, and, my personal favorite, sweet potato!

YUM!

When I was a pup, I had some belly problems that resulted in a really stinky smell that would make all of my human friends quickly leave the room. Humans must be really sensitive because my dog friends and I were never really bothered by it. But, my mom made a special trip to The Loyal Biscuit to consult with Lauren about my smelly problem. Lauren suggested I be fed a roasted sweet potato with my lunch and dinner because it’s packed with this thing called “fiber” that is good for tummy trouble.

I’m really happy Lauren suggested this because sweet potato is yummy! Sometimes I even get this awesome treat called a Snook which are dried rings of sweet potato on a rope. I love to chew the rings off the rope and then use to rope to play tug with my mom. So not only is it a nutritious snack, but it’s also a fun toy! Pumpkin can also be used in place of sweet potato if your pup has the tummy rumbles, but remember to only feed straight potato. So if you buy a can of it make sure there is no additional seasoning, like pumpkin pie filling.

Happy, yummy tail wags.

I have a few things to apologize for today. The first being the fact that I have ignored my blog for the past couple of days. Halloween is fast approaching and my mom has been busy preparing for a party and getting costumes ready, so she hasn’t had too many opportunities to take me on blog worthy adventures.

The other thing I must apologize for is my previous statements about fruits and vegetables. Even though I have made my views on the subject very loud and clear, my mom was still on a mission to find a fruit or veggie that I liked. The other day, my mom was eating a slice of apple pie and a piece of cooked apple fell and I immediately gobbled it up because that’s kind of what dogs do. And I like it! So, I am sorry fruits and veggies, my hatred for you seem to have come too soon.

Yum!

Now, I am not suggesting for you humans to share your apple pie with your pooches. While sugar might be tasty, as well as the other ingredients, they aren’t the best thing for your pooch. Try slicing an apple into pieces (make sure you core it first because apple seeds are poisonous to pups) and giving them to your pup. I don’t like uncooked apples, so my mom lets me have organic, unsweetened applesauce. It’s my new favorite treat! Plus there are a whole bunch of benefits like vitamin C, fatty acids for a shiny coat, and it’s a good source of fiber (for pups like me who have poop problems).

A few things to note: Apples contain natural sugars, so give it to your pup sparingly. We wouldn’t want them to become overweight. If your pup has kidney problems, apples may not be the best treat because of the calcium and phosphorus.

Happy yummy tail wags!

Yes, while nosing around in the fridge today looking for noms at dinner time, I noticed a packet of “Wafer thin Turkey Ham”. Uh… what? The box doesn’t even explain what it is exactly, I assume that it’s some kind of weird mixture of Turkey and, well, Ham. Or maybe there’s some kind of weird breeding programme going on at Bernard Matthews or something.

Anyway, it was at this point in which my cat (Called Oscar) walked over to me, and started to meow at me for food. Or more specifically, was meowing at me because he could smell the Turkey Ham. I figured “Meh, why not?” and gave him some. He started to purr as he was eating it, so I assumed that they were indeed, what cats call, “Good Noms”.

Not everyone is completely sold on the idea, however:

I’m going to have to side with Rufus (The Ginger one) on this one. These are bad noms. Very bad noms indeed.

Edit: In preparation for the hordes of people who are going to hop on to their IM Clients to tell me what Turkey Ham is, it’s Turkey that’s shaped as Ham. Except that, you know, this isn’t shaped like Ham at all. It’s just “wafer thin”, which we just call “Wafer thin Turkey”. Plus, this stuff had a hammy taste to it, so I don’t know.

Chicken Piccata

Ingredients:

• 2-4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (1 1/2 pound total)
• 2 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/3 cup flour
• Salt and pepper
• 4 Tbsp Olive Oil
• 4 Tbsp Butter
• 1/2 cup chicken stock or dry white wine [I had dry white wine, so I used that.]
• 3 Tbsp lemon juice
• 1/4 cup brined capers
• 1/4 cup fresh chopped parsley

Directions:

1. Cut the chicken breast halves horizontally, butterflying them open. If the breast pieces you are working with are large, you may want to cut them each into two pieces. If the pieces are still thick after butterflying, put them between two pieces of plastic wrap and pound them with a meat hammer to 1/4-inch thickness.
2. Mix together the flour, salt, pepper, and grated Parmesan. Rinse the chicken pieces in water. Dredge them thoroughly in the flour mixture, until well coated.
3. Heat olive oil and 2 tablespoons of the butter in a large skillet on medium high heat. Add half of the chicken pieces, do not crowd the pan. Brown well on each side, about 3 minutes per side. Remove the chicken from the pan and reserve to a plate. Cook the other breasts in the same manner, remove from pan. Cover with aluminum foil and keep warm in the oven while you prepare the sauce.
4. Add the chicken stock (or white wine), lemon juice, and capers to the pan. Use a spatula to scrape up the browned bits. Reduce the sauce by half. Whisk in the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter. Plate the chicken and serve with the sauce poured over the chicken. Sprinkle with parsley.

Results: confession time: I have never had, nor seen up close and in person, Chicken Piccata. So… you know.. for all I know, it was all wrong. I wasn’t crazy about the sauce, it was a little bitter, but I got it a little more on the second piece of chicken. It was tasty, but it wasn’t my favorite dish ever.

Recipe from Simply Recipes

L’accés a les llegües estrangeres, Internet i els viatges de baix cost han suposat un gran avantatge per la internacionalització de la causa catalana, però la difusió del missatge no està exempta de riscos si no es tenen en compte aspectes lingüístics i polítics fonamentals.

Si a tots se’ns fa evident que la traducció al castellà de bufar i fer ampolles no seria en cap cas soplar y hacer botellas, cada cop prolifera més la traducció literal del terme Països Catalans per Catalan Countries. Si bé qualsevol persona que domini una mica les llengües germàniques, i l’anglès no n’és una excepció, hauria de saber que el terme equivalent al nostre països és la forma lands i no countries, més avesada cap a qüestions agràries que, per desgràcia, van en retrocés a casa nostra. Diversos exemples ho corroboren, el més evident per les connotacions històriques, polítiques i territorials són els Països Baixos que són denominats Netherlands (lands, mai countries!). Un altre exemple prou conegut tot i que no té la vinculació política paral·lela és el de les Highlands, on de nou se’ns mostra la terminació pertinent per a les qüestions geogràfiques i territorials.

En conclusió si bé en francès (per ser llengua llatina de la mateixa subdivisió que el català) podríem fer la traducció literal igual que es fa amb Pays-Bas per als Països Baixos, en les llengües germàniques hauríem de fer la  traducció per la forma land, l’apropiada per terme i significat resultant en alemany Katalanische Länder o en anglès la cacofònica Catalan Lands. I és que el primer que trobarem sempre en diccionaris i enciclopèdies per a la forma country és l’aclariment (desambiguation) del terme, l’etimologia del qual ja remet a qüestions totalment alienes al nom del nostre país. Això, però ens remet a un altre problema no resolt. La qüestió de noms.

La qüestió de noms.

Sovint els catalans tenim problemes per a denominar el nostre propi territori nacional i és un problema que ja ve de llarg. Si bé durant l’Edat Mitjana i ben entrada la Moderna el terme Catalunya ha designat el conjunt dels territoris de parla catalana, en els segles següents el fet de la divisió territorial de la Monarquia Hispànica reduís aquest nom a l’antic Principat (incloent el nord i la Franja), va fer necessari el segle XIX debatre com denominar el conjunt dels territoris. De les diverses formes, les més populars serien la de Catalunya Gran (imitant la Greater Britannia) i la de Països Catalans. Aquesta darrera ha estat la més acceptada en la darreria del segle XX i sobretot difosa a partir de l’obra fusteriana. Aquesta fórmula té l’encert de ser alhora singular i plural, plural amb les particularitats territorials històriques i singular en la catalanitat (comandada per la llengua i la Senyera, com a símbols elementals) afavorint la comoditat dels catalans no principatins. De fet el nom vindrà a partir de la construcció nacional i el projecte polític pertinent.

La designació del terme Catalunya per al principat va ser feta a partir de l’administració hispànica i no la natural del país, els debats de si es designa una part o el tot no haurien de superar el marc que per exemple significa ser valencià, de la ciutat o del País Valencià, de la mateixa forma que ser berguedà o ripollès denomina igual la persona de la ciutat o comarca. Per a Joan Fuster era únicament una qüestió de temps, dir-ne Països Catalans fins que puguem tornar a anomenar Catalunya tot el país.

Aquest afer és, però, un problema interior. De cara a l’exterior mai ha existit la divisió dels territoris catalans. Filòlegs, etnòlegs, antropòlegs i altres estudiosos  mai han fet diferència entre territoris. I precisament per aquest motiu no haurien de ser necessàries les traduccions. Podem anomenar el país en la llengua autòctona com  ho han fet els bascos o directament utilitzar el terme Catalonia, Katalonien, Catalogne o Catalogna sense complexos o obviant els debats que si que es tenen en l’àmbit català. Aquest fet permet no traslladar debats innecessaris fora del nostre marc nacional i lingüístic i accelerar la imatge d’unitat territorial, cultural i política del país de cara a l’exterior seguint el projecte de Fuster. De cara a la projecció internacional és indispensable recórrer a un discurs i un nom clar i deixar l’ambigüitat  dels termes. I a la pràctica, aquesta polèmica queda totalment tancada de forma inconscient en les ments independentistes. L’exemple: alguna gent s’escandalitzava quan la consulta d’Arenys esmentava Catalunya (malgrat ser promoguda, entre d’altres per la CUP, d’innegable vocació pancatalanista), debat absurd perquè no he sentit cap independentista mai referir-se al Principat com a Catalunya si no, precisament com a Principat i aquí és on per qüestions tabús el terme històric desapareix per art de màgia. Catalunya, doncs designa voluntàriament i involuntàriament el conjunt dels Països Catalans i les referències territorials concretes són les que ja tenen altres formes. Precisament per aquest motiu més que per cap altre cal, que de cara a l’exterior, no donem peu a un debat que ni nosaltres mateixos assumim. El país és el que és, i només nosaltres decidirem com en volem dir dins del nostre àmbit lingüístic, la  resta queda fora.

So the new job appears to be riddled with politics and people are trying to drag me in. One of the women I work with sent a text message in today to say she was staying at home because she was tired. That excuse is almost as good as tripping over your dog or something. A short while later, I get an email from her home address, again saying how tired she was and asking me to pick up the work she started yesterday afternoon, oh and can I do some work the assistant head requested. Uhh no, no I can’t do that. So I passed the email to the assistant head and promptly deleted it. Lulz.

This little lady sits on her arse all day ordering people around. We are supposed to do lunch duty, where we go outside catch the smokers and split up the fights. In three weeks, I haven’t seen her do it once. She seems to pick and choose when she comes in and obviously now thinks I’m her personal assistant. I need to forget that I am not a manager anymore but if I was, I’d bounce her arse off the wall for a stunt like that.

Tomorrow we break up for half term. Larrrvely. Oh and I think I got a 3k payrise today. I’m not sure why but it’s in writing so I’m not questioning it.

Poppy came over tonight armed with cake and and a pregancy test. I can happily report that the test was taken, was negative and celebratory cake was eaten. I got to keep the leftover french fancies. I know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow. Mmmm fondanty badness, nomz.

…refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love.

~Song of Solomon 2:5b

I don’t usually take my 15-minute built-in breaks here at work.  It’s just best not to, I’ve discovered.  Instead, I take shorter 30-second-to-two-minute mini-breaks–check my email, grab some coffee, then get back to it.  I’m not at all sure they add up to the 30 full minutes I’m entitled to, but I guess I make up for it on the days I come in 5 minutes late due to Belle Meade traffic.  Today, though, I kind of am going ahead with a little more of a break.

And I am eating an apple.  First, let me say, oft throughout my life I’ve avoided apples.  They make me hungry.  Does this happen to anyone else?  My grandmother says it happens to her, actually, but she’s the only one.  I think it’s a blood sugar thing–like, the fruit sugar spikes you up and then drops you down and you need something to eat again.  That’s the explanation in my head, anyway.

I just love apples so much.  Thus, I can rarely go too long without one.  I love many different kinds–Granny Smith was the favorite for years, as I love tartness + sweetness.  And it’s green, which wins.  Red Delicious, though, is red and delicious, and Golden Delicious is even delicious-er.  I had a Gala kick a few years back.  I had a shorter Pink Lady phase around the same time.   An exhaustive chart of lots of apples and their characteristics can be found here.

Right now, I’m digging Honey Crisp.  It tastes like it sounds like it should, and it’s so pretty.

I like almost any apple, as long as it’s not mushy and doesn’t have thick skin.  Those are industrial and gross.

Fall is a good time for apples, especially apples baked in some way, warming up your house with sugary-cinnamony goodness.  Still, though, the most satisfying part of an apple is that first bite into a raw one.

I do not like apple-flavored or -scented things.  Some exceptions there, too, of course–Green Apple Jolly Ranchers being an obvious one.  Most stuff just ends up tasting or smelling like cheap, strong imitation cinnamon.  Bleah.  I don’t like apple paraphernalia, or art centered around apples, or apple apparel, or anything ridiculous like that.

The most significant exception for me, though, is my favorite Bath and Body Works scent, Irresistible Apple.  Actually, until I looked it up, I thought it was discontinued because I never see it in the store.  I should stock up.  It’s what I smell like right now, actually.  Hopefully.  It’s the only scent that inspired me to buy actual perfume, which I don’t think I’d had since high school.  It’s the perfect apple scent–whatever it is that annoys me about other apple-derivative aromas is completely absent.

I was one of very few people who didn’t make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow for naming her little girl Apple.

Regardless of being (falsely) associated with The Fall of Man, I think apples are just about perfect.  Utterly sensual, yet completely pure…delicious.