Since this is the holiday season, here is something on my wishlist.  I don’t want the book, just the vampire, but if you do, check it  out here.

So I wanted to see what all the fuss about Twilight was. I still don’t see what all the fuss is about. It reminded me of a bad episode of The OC. (mind you, I watched The OC faithfully). What is with the glitter and the awkwardness at the beginning? Now, it wasn’t horrible but it wasn’t something that I would see a billion times. If you want “cool” vampires, True Blood is the best option. And you can’t go wrong with Nosferatu, Fright Night, the Lost Boys and more here . Even with southern hick accents, this vampires on True Blood rule. Take that Cullen! With this being said, I will be watching New Moon in hopes of something better. Maybe I will switch over to the glittery side after watching New Moon. Oh the suspense.

Hope everyone has a monstrous and Merry Christmas!

Rudy Giuliani Totally Looks Like Nosferatu

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Before Stephenie Meyer came along and reduced the immortal rulers of the night to “emo douche” status, vampires were actually pretty awesome.  Here are ten stories featuring bloodsuckers that make Edward Cullen and company look like fairy princesses.

10.  The Little Vampire (2000). Yes, it’s cutesy.  But at least the young princes of darkness in this film starring Jonathan Lipnicki (Jerry Maguire) have a reason to behave like nine-year olds…they are nine year-olds.

9.  Once Bitten (1985). Jim Carrey (in his first starring role) plays Mark Kendall, a hapless goof who tags along on a boy’s night out and is seduced by Countess (Lauren Hutton), an ancient vampire who can only stay youthful by regularly drinking the blood of virgins.  While this comedy is pure cheese, it is remarkably entertaining.

8.  Interview with the Vampire (1994). I can’t believe I’m saying this but, even with its awkward homoerotic undertones, this Pitt/Cruise team-up looks like Rambo compared to Twilight.

7.  Nosferatu (1922). In F.W. Murnau’s classic silent chiller, Max Schreck portrays Count Orlok, who is perhaps the creepiest vampire ever.  That’s saying a lot for a character who doesn’t speak a single word on screen.

6.  Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992). Years before Sarah Michelle Gellar portrayed her on T.V., America’s favorite stake-wielding Valley girl was introduced to movie audiences in the form of blonde stunner Kristy Swanson.  While I never watched a single episode of the show, I love the movie version.

5.  From Dusk till Dawn (1996). Following the breakout success of his 1992 Western Desperado, young director Robert Rodriguez took filmgoers to the Titty Twister, a dive on the Mexican border teeming with bloodsucking biker baddies.  Their queen, the sultry Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), has no trouble snaring fresh meat.

4.  The Dead Lover (1836). Young priest Romuald falls for the beautiful Clarimonde, who holds a strange power over him. Puzzled by the increasing loss of energy impeding his holy work, Romuald vows to discover the truth behind Clarimonde’s beguiling ways.  Théophile Gautier’s intensely moving tale is one of the best examples of short-form vampire fiction.

3.  Underworld (2003). Vampires and werewolves face off in a centuries-old feud in this pulse-pounding action thriller.  Huntress Selene (Kate Beckinsdale) loves a human, but after he is bitten by a werewolf, she must decide whether she will let him live or die.

2.  Salem’s Lot (1975). Successful writer Ben Mears returns to the small Maine town where he grew up,  hoping to conduct research for a book he’ll be writing about the Martsen House, an abandoned mansion plagued by urban legends of pale-faced night-stalkers.  At a hefty 656 pages, Stephen King’s epic is arguably the most impressive novel of its kind produced in the 20th century.

1.  Dracula (1897) In writing his famous gothic novel, Bram Stoker created the most influential horror villain of all time.  Before the Count, vampires were just zombies who craved blood rather than brains.

Twihards, listen up: You think you know vampires? You’re not even close.

Images you do NOT want to see on your nanny cam # 4

(Max Schreck)

But he’s cuddly.

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