But I digress.

Many people were in the office today which is pretty much a miracle. I’m usually by myself and feeling quite bitter about it. (Yes, I’m one of those people who likes to have others around. Being stuck, in a cube, practically chained to my desk with no one around makes me stabby and depressed faster than anything.) There was a fun yet slightly morose chat session with The Tall One, and subsequently lunch with him and Muffin Top (ooh… I’ll need to add him on the list. he’s hilarious)- which did nothing to answer any of the questions still swirling about in my brain. (See this page for more info…) Even with all the data entry, I had my iTunes and an episode of the Bachelorette to catch up on – I was doing well.

Boss Man came in about 3 o’clock with some random thing on his mind and conversation, as it always does with the team, started flowing. The topics were wide and varied – finally centering around the particularly hideous couch that had been delivered to our office earlier in the afternoon. (A slip cover would do just fine, because really, it’s awful.) Which led to discussion about where to put the couch. Boss Man casually suggested that he wanted to put it in the vacant office, which he dubs ‘the Crap Room’ because, well, it’s full of crap, but EQ objected. She frequently uses the room for super secret phone calls that no one, I repeat NO ONE, can hear. Except we kind of can.

Anyway, the conversation progressed into this point: It would be nice to have the couch in the crap room, with the crap cleaned out of course, because when the ladies who are on maternity leave come back they’ll need the occasional place to breastfeed their child.

As a side note: EQ gets particularly grossed out when any type of bodily function is mentioned in her presence. You can literally hear her gag reflex working over time. It’s pretty funny, except she uses is as an opportunity to be a bit squeamish and take the fun out of some conversations.

So you can imagine what the word “breastfeeding” did to her. It catapulted her into the emotional stratosphere. For the next hour and a half  there was raucous discussion about professionalism, how often one should feed one’s child, learning how to be better schedulers and how uncomfortable the thought of a woman occasionally feeding her child makes one person. I stayed at my cubicle and worked to finish my project. Usually, I’m pretty eager to get into fun discussion and say things just to make things interesting. It’s fun to be outrageous, especially in the type of environment I work in.

But not today. I couldn’t do it. Not because I agreed with EQ (I didn’t), but because i didn’t have the emotional currency to spend in the conversation. It was beyond ridiculous. And at that point, I heard the word breast more times than I ever care to again. And I have a pair.

The real reason I stayed away is because the conversation took on the route the way it always does. EQ pouts, yells, passionately makes her position and Boss Man (God love him) always capitulates to her. A squeaky wheel gets the grease sort of thing. But this wheel is always squeaking. No matter how much grease you apply to it. And it is connected to a very nice, very expensive car that is in a line with other very expensive cars… if you catch my drift.

I wish I could explain why the whole bit annoyed me so much. I mean really, I was at work until 7 tonight, finishing my data entry project and trying to work out in my brain why I was so disgruntled. Maybe it is for the reasons above. She always gets the attention, it’s always about her. And the condescension makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Maybe that’s why I didn’t say anything. Because all those things make me seem petty and jealous. Which, I suppose, in a way I am. Not of her life, or connections or anything like that. I don’t know exactly what it is… don’t know that I want to work it out either.

All I do know at this point is I don’t want to hear the word ‘breast’ uttered for a very, very, very long time.

 jugstheclown replied to your post: I’ve had Influence open for 2 days.

WHY ARE YOU NOT READING AND WEEPING YET.

i no want creys.

also, it’s long. i never feel motivated to start things that are lengthy.

iunno i’ll read it eventually stop yelling at me :’(

Ignore Hester. Don’t read that piece of crap. Not worth the time.

I just checked out NI’s blog. Awesome stuff. I really liked the background and the feel of the whole layout. She is getting better at this stuff.

I don’t know why I am getting back to this. this = writing. I checked out some other blogs too…apart from NI’s. It would have been a weird sentence if the “blogs” was not present. :P. Speaking of weird sentences, there were many in today’s TOEFL. Yes, I did take the TOEFL today. How did I do? I have no idea. I hadn’t studied at all. Why I didn’t study? That’s another long story. Anyway, I couldn’t complete some tasks. In the speaking section, I didn’t realize when the time got over. The same thing happened in the reading comprehension. My English sucks big time.

So, coming back to the topic, I checked out some blogs. There are some amazing writers out there. These guys should write books. And probably find a good publisher and get their books printed. So, I started writing because I saw them writing. If you don’t already know, I had given up writing a long time back. Long time back = 5 years (give or take). So I had a blog, I stopped writing because I used to think still think it’s a waste of time. I see of it (blogging) (damn MS word spell check!) as a waste of time. People pour their hearts out on the internet. Why?! Are there not any people around to whom they can just talk to? Maybe they do talk!! But the internet doesn’t offer any advice or suggest anything of any sort. It is such a sweet deal. I still don’t know why I started writing. I tried tweeting too. Hail twitter. The god of all things. NOT. I am following a crazy lady who tweets about wanting to throw up (just a lil) whenever she sees someone. It is awesome to see so much of hatred sometimes.

Avi is in goa, I don’t know why I thought about him right now, but I guess it’s just the thought of a holiday. I really want to go somewhere. I don’t know where. Yes, I happen to be your “I don’t really know what I want” type of a guy. And I do say “I don’t know” a lot of times. I don’t know = I don’t know, it also sometimes = I don’t want to talk right now (or maybe ever) or = I don’t care, get the fuck out of my face (this normally happens when you’re running late and somebody asks you directions to some place). I think I have to stop saying “I don’t know”.

That’s it, I cannot think about anything else right now. Or maybe I don’t know.

Random Fact: Listening to “We are rockstars” by Does It Offend You Yeah? gives me a high.

First sign, if she has three or more kids by different men.  I can somewhat understand two but three times, I mean three that’s like three bad choices and its even worst when there is barely an age gap. if the age gap is less then two years its like what the hell you couldn’t wait? The oldest is four middle child is two and the youngest is eight months and they all have different dads. That’s a huge red flag she collecting child support form three different guys and trying to make you number four. Don’t buy into that I’m a different person now and I have matured or the worst one ever I’m a born again christian/virgin. No bitch it don’t work that way ‘scust.

Second sign, when they think about letting their baby father move back in. What? really?!?!? yes I actually expericened this one personally.  Hearing them say well he going to sleep on the couch he don’t sleep with me and we not going to have sex, you don’t have anything to worry about. Like hell I don’t you letting the man you let knock you up lay his head at your place and you want me to believe nothing is going on? Get the F*ck out of here with that BS (GTFOHWTBS), she needs to be drop straight to jumpoff status after even thinking something like that would be cool.

Third sign, Every time you come over she asking you to bring her something to eat. Seriously do you not have anything to eat why do you always ask me to bring something? Its even worst if she is asking for you to bring something for her and her kid(s). This is something that should not be tolerated a once or twice a month ok cool, but every single time you come around! , aww hell naw.

Fourth sign, This kind of ties into the third but when ever you go over there only thing she has to eat is Ramen noodles and a half gallon of milk and a box of store brand cereal. I mean you couldn’t at buy a box of trix or something at least? This is even worst when they have a lot of designer clothes and a nice a car pure sign of poor money management skills.

Fifth sign, she can’t keep her boost mobile phone on or constantly asking if you can pay it for her. Its a boost for crying out loud, their whole business is about having affordable phones. If she can’t manage that how you expect her to be able to contribute to the relationship financially.  Unless you trying to be a sugar daddy then by all means look past the third through fifth signs.

It’s been a long day and it’s not even over yet.

But it’s thanksgiving dinner in the caf so I have no qualms about anything.

I’m so excited for sleep.

See you all tomorrow.

How desperate or paranoid do you have to be to log on to a website just to see if anyone has been searching for you through the very same website? 

Well, I was bored.

Two hundred and sixty one people?  (I’ll ignore that more are women than men.)  I didn’t even know that I had ever met that many people.  Everyone I owe money to already knows exactly where to find me.  Anyone I went to high school with has already found me through Facebook.  Who are these people?  My maiden name is very common, so I assume most are probably strangers looking for someone else.  But, what if some of them are legit?  What if I made a lasting impression on some random person I met in passing and now they are trying to find me to thank me for changing their life for the better?  I should acknowledge them, shouldn’t I?

I figured that for the sake of any potential long lost admirers (and blog fodder), I could pay $9.95 for one month, search through my stalker list, then cancel the membership.  I’ve spent ten bucks on stupider stuff (hello Walk Hard dvd).   

Good thing I read the fine print:

You gotta pay for your months in advance.  Figures.  Sorry, but $44.85 is too steep an investment just to satisfy my mild curiosity even if it could possibly result in the raddest blog post ever known to man. 

If any of you cough up the cheddar to do this, please let me know.  Before your stalker strangles you in the shower, that is.

That is all.

So the only reason i wanted to see this movie was because Kellan Lutz is in it…but hes the first person to die and we got there late…so he was already dead and we didn’t get to see him in the movie at all….but anyways, this movie actually wasn’t all that scary…it mostly just made you jump whenever freddy popped out unexpectedly….but that was it…freddy actually looked scarier in the first one i think…im glad it wasn’t scary though…cause im a total whimp…hahaha

Nightmare on Elm Street is Not Worth It…so just look up Kellan Lutz’s scene on Youtube if you want to see it because of him…

For months, all of my friends across a variety of social groups RAVED about this movie. The standard response to, “oh I haven’t seen it yet” was, “OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! I would have thought you of all people would have been the first to see this movie blah blah blah”.
Ok
So I like “indie” movies, Zooey Deschanel, unconventional story lines etc. but I don’t really like movie theaters much because they’re expensive and I like to sit on my couch with a pint of ice cream and some friends, then pause the movie as I please to pee.

Anyway after a while I forgot about the movie until the other day when my friend decided to put it on. I was pretty excited because of all that I’d heard but after sitting through it, I have to admit I was sorely disappointed. The character of Tom comes off as a desperate, whiny bitch, and Summer’s character is very one dimensional because they try WAY too hard to make her this enigmatic indie chick. The story jumps back and forth so many times too that it doesn’t come off as that coherent. 500 days is a lot of days to cover in under two hours. Think about it–that’s a year and a half! The movie jumps around every 50 days, I feel like, trying to hit on the poignant days that that had a huge effect on their relationship. However, with so many days to cover I feel like the storyline only glossed over what was really the root of their problems and left you to guess and assume what was happening. I guess that’s the beauty of indie movies–they’re never blatant about anything and they want you to think deeply and reflect. Whatever. I’ve seen plenty of movies that are complete and do the same thing.
(500) Days of Summer is not one of those movies.

I will say, however that I did like the cinematography quite a bit. Most of the movie is pretty specific with its color design but it’s so subtle, you only notice it if you know about color design. I wish I could watch the movie right this second so I could give specific examples but unfortunately I can’t right now. Anyway, I started picking up on it and it blew my mind a little bit. I love the subtleties of design

One thing that I can tell you specifically that blew my mind is the scene about expectations vs reality. I’d never seen this in any movie before so it REALLY blew my mind (are you getting the point yet?). I think it’s an incredibly creative way to portray the situation. How many movies have we seen where they show everything working out perfectly only for the narrator or whoever to be like, “JUST KIDDING. Everything went shitty. Let’s show you now!”
I don’t even know how to describe what it is about this scene that I love so much. I think it’s just awesome because everything is so similar yet it’s so different and you can really take it all in and understand it so much better than if they had done it the other way. If anything, watch the movie just for this so you can understand the context. It’s brilliant. Oh and if anybody knows if this has been done before, let me know!

http://vimeo.com/9443097

This entry I want to dedicate to all girls who ever felt bad because of a guy just because he acted like an a… I’m sure there is no one out there who never suffered because of a guy, right?!?

So, when I was really sad because of a boy some time ago, my hostmother showed me this song here and we kept singing the song in the car every day until we finally felt better. I’m gonna summarize and translate a little bit for you…

It is called LA MAGDALENA by Quijano..

You stayed at home for already two weeks, without getting out of bed, you’re not able to stop crying neither to eat nor to talk. You’re just so sad that you do not even see any necessity to wash yourself cause you think it isn’t worth it without him. Guys are just superflous, this one and better ones. Stop telling yourself, you don’t want to live anymore without him, and that you’re loving him but he’s not loving you. So, no! – it isn’t worth it to cry like a baby just because of this culpable guy. I’m sure it isn’t worth it because all of them are equal, they promise so many things, but at the end you don’t see anything! There is not even one who is perfect, there is always one detail that is missing in the perfect picture!

You have to forget about him, go out and cure yourself! The time will cure all wounds! You’re “poisoning” yourself every single night. The strange thing about is that finally you’ll find out that there are bigger fishes in the sea! And you will definitely meet one of them!

So cheer up! Live is too wonderful to waste any time!