Dear Nobel Committee,

Once again, you’ve outdone yourself; like Sarah Palin making a real effort to pronounce nuclear (Sorry Sarah, it AINT nyu-cu-ler), or Michael Jackson trying all his life to look white, or Kanye West making a “jackass” of himself (President’s words, NOT mine). Having personally been witness to the wonders of wishing, I wonder why we haven’t yet WISHED that the war in Iraq and Afghanistan were over sooner. Or why I didn’t wish sooner that the numbskulls over at Goldman Sachs would vaporize before they could summon the gall to ask for yet another “stimulus package”. Why hasn’t Michael Moore wished that he would lose all that lard under his arms and stomach, so people would take him and his documentaries a trifle more seriously. Maybe I didn’t WISH hard enough when I asked Santa Claus to bring me that BMW for Christmas. If only I had wished and dreamed out loud, maybe the Nobel committe might have sent it over for my birthday atleast. Aaaarghhhhh …. hard work is so overrated.

Almost makes me wonder why Susan Boyle didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize. After all, she too “dreamed a dream …. in time gone by”. Or why, Michael Jackson, moonwalking in his grave, crotch grabbing and all, going “Was that all I had to do …. DREAM ?”, didn’t get the honor. He had a good case too, having famously said “We are the world, We are the children”, and then proceeding to share his life (and his bed) with children. Or why Shah Rukh Khan did not even get nominated for this year’s honor, despite having to bear the ignominy of being asked to step through a security check at a US airport, on his way to New York (?) for an event to promote his latest film, on racial profiling in US airports. After all that humiliation, he was the epitome of patience, love and understanding, as he walked away from it all, unscarred emotionally. What grace, what poise, and what an ambassador for world peace.

Lets presume, giving the benefit of doubt to you, the ESTEEMED voting committee, that the above candidates did NOT meet the qualifying guidelines for this years peace prize. The following were possibly the shortlist for the “prestigious” award this time around. Lets listen in on the discussion to figure out how you arrived at this deeply insightful choice, shall we ?

NOBEL COMMITTEE (NC): “What have you DONE to make the world a better place”

DALAI LAMA (DL) : I’ve been involved, all through my life in supporting the freedom movement in Tibet. I’ve worked tirelessly to ensure that people get their rights wherever they live, from whatever race or nationality. I’ve spent most of my life working to increase dialogue between faiths and denominaions, exploring ways and means to deal with the discord among them.

MICHAEL JACKSON (MJ) : (Grabbing crotch n squeezing tight) ………..OWWWWW !! I mean, …………. In my lifetime, I tried to heal the world, to make it a better place, for YOU and for ME, and the entire human race.I even brought people together through music. Oh yeah, I love children too.

BARACK OBAMA (O) : Let me begin by saying ……. Yes we Can. I DREAMT of world peace, and eliminating the nuclear arms race. I PIONEERED, in my first 12 days in office, a habit of making grandiloquent oratorial masterpieces, prefacing all my lines with “Yes, We Can”, and minor variations on that theme, as time progressed, along the lines of “Well, YES, I think we can”, “Hmm … Probably not”, “Wait theres still a chance we can”, “Maybe we STILL can”, “Its very unlikely we EVER can”, and most recently, “HAHA. No we can’t”.

In the past 12 days since I took over office from that yankee in the corner there (gestures to GW), I’ve met with and shaken hands with atleast 50 world tyrants and dictators. By year end, I hope to meet and extend the arm of peace and friendship to 200 more leaders around the world. This offer of shaking their hand is without precondition, and regardless of whether i might contract from or infect them with H3N5 or some other mutant flu virus. In case you’re still not convinced, in my spare time I’m also working on a Plan B to be the new Mother Teresa.

NC ( In hushed tones) : “Well, they all make impressive cases.”
“I’m confused” says one, “lets head over to the cliched hackneyed slogans round”, says another.

“Alright gentlemen, we’ve been informed by Alfred Nobel’s great grandson that the swimsuit round isnt permitted here, as watching Mr. Obama or Ms. Boyle sashaying the ramp in a 2-piece would be a horrific prospect,  one that would scar the world for life, make our viewers want to gouge their eyes out. So lets just proceed to the Ask-a-random-question-get-a-stupid-answer round. What would you say, should be the rallying cry for the world in this its hour of need”

DL : Save Tibet !
MJ : Save McCauley Culkin !
BO : I am NOT him (again, gesturing to a grinning George W arm wrestling a chimpanzee in the corner)

NOBEL COMMITTEE: (The guys swooning, ladies screaming hysterically, both flinging their shirts and blouses at him, throwing themselves at his broad muscular athletic frame) – “We LOVE you Barack ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ . Here’s your Nobel. Also, (blushing coyly) if you dont mind, can you autograph my face for me ?”

And there you have it. THE foolproof recipe for instant evaluation of Nobel peace prize nominees. The Nobel foundation released a press note, later in the day, clarifying that next year’s Nobel Peace Prize will be loosely based on American Idol, with one nominee bumped off every week, and the final decision being based on a public vote. So, Indians world over, grab your mobile phones, start SMSing your buddies, twittering all your twit friends, spreading the word on the streets, and blogging from now to kingdom come. Next year, our winner, making India proud WILL be (……….  wait for it …………..) Rakhee Sawant.

All things considered, Nobel Committee, I believe your decision was an admirable one, which defied popular sentiment, and lacked even a hint of rationale, and one that will have far reaching consequences. At the 2012 Olympics for example, India will finally be atop the medals table, striking paydirt in every event, winning Gold after spectacular gold, awarded to them for trying and wanting so bad to win. Shah Rukh Khan will finaly be allowed to enter the US without any demeaning security checks, and will carry on to be the K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-King of B(H)ollywood. Sarah Palin will become president in 2012, simply cause she REALLY WANTED it before, and was actually able to blow a kiss to Putin, over in Russia, all the way from Alaska, thereby ending the cold war. Now THERE’s an actual doomsday scenario that could signal the beginning of the end of the world in 2012, as predicted by a certain Roland Emmerich (whats that ? Sorry, I’ve just been told that the apocalypse was predicted by the Mayans, not Emmerich …………. Freaky how the Mayans knew of a certain Miss Palin way back then).

And I, for my part, will be riding a horse into the sunset. Y’know  …. the way they say “If wishes were horses, then fools would ride”.

Those who know me will openly admit that I’m a bit of a word snob. There are some verbal miscues that practically leap out and slap me in the face. Things like:

• “I seen you in town today.”
• “Chelsey Handler is supposably funny.”
• Don’t axe me dumb questions.”

But more than any other, the dreaded dangling preposition is the one that irks me the most. Even more inexplicable is the usage of a dangling preposition in a multimillion dollar ad campaign. Remember a couple years ago when Boost Mobile had their infamous “Where you at?” phrase plastered in every store that sold disposable phones? I realize they were trying to appeal to a specific younger audience, but c’mon. Not every young person speaks like they just learned English… frankly, I would’ve been insulted if I were in my teens or early 20’s.

Did the campaign work? It’s hard to tell because they’re owned by Sprint and everything’s wrapped up in the corporate mothership. Frankly, I don’t care if it did. Hearing those grammatical mistakes just makes me want to go nucular.

In today’s installment of Heave Steve, I must posit this question:

Where the hell was he for the past few days?

The majority of the G-20 leaders from around the globe were having a pow wow at the United Nations headquarters in New York City to discuss a varied slew of issues that are relative to global unity and security  – but where was the Right Honourable Stephen Harper?

Not in New York, I can tell you that right away.

Who was in New York?

Among the major players were Barack Obama (United States Of America), Gordon Brown (the United Kingdom), Nicolas Sarkozy (France), Dmitry Medvedev (Russia)… hell, even the world’s snappiest-dressing/Jew-hating/terrorism-endorsing/nuke-wanting and all-around assclown Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was in attendance.

This was a meeting of the United Nations Security Council – the people who penalize countries when they do bad things (whether it be in the form of military strikes, or the more common strongly worded letter) – a council that Canada really wants to be on so it will have a say in how the world works, or at least the illusion of doing so.

The big topic of this meeting?

Nuclear weapons: who has them, who wants them, and who is not allowed to have them.

Sounds like a good conversation that the Canadian people should have a voice in, doesn’t it?

What makes it a great place to be for world leaders is that you get to step up to the dais on – what is quite literally – the world stage and address the peoples of the entire planet, telling them what your particular country plans to do in the coming months and years and what that means to global peace.

From here, you explain to the world how your country’s actions, programs, policies, and military operations will effect nations and people around the world – either for the better, or for the worse.

The big drama this week?

Ahmadinnerjacket – errr, Ahmadinejad – announced to the world that he had a secret uranium enrichment facility (on top of the one the U.N. Security Council was already aware of) humming away at an undisclosed location in the Iranian desert… which is the type of place where you can turn regular uranium into the type of fuel that either powers a nuclear power plant OR a thermonuclear weapon.

This is somewhat distressing because:

A) Iran is the number one exporter of terrorists in the world.

B) Iran hates Israel and has repeatedly said that it intends to wipe Israel off the map – which is one use for a stockpile of nuclear weapons.

Crazy, eh?

You know… it would have been really great if someone of global import had spoken up on Canada’s behalf during the fallout of that revelation – someone who could step up to the podium and say how outraged we as a Canadian people were at such a unacceptable revelation.

Wouldn’t that have been great?

Yeah, but Stephen Harper – the Canadian Prime Minister who is supposed to be the focused voice of 33,792,000 Canadian citizens – wasn’t anywhere to be found at the United Nations building.

You know what building he WAS found at?

A Tim Horton’s store in Oakville, Ontario – from which he dutifully blasted Iran’s secretive nuclear shenanigans with all the authority he could muster.

At a Tim Horton’s.

I’ll give you a minute to process that information.

Need a bit more info?

He made this declaration after bragging about how Canada was once again the home base for Timmy’s.

Just wrap your mind around it.

You good?

Need another minute?

Two or three?

Okay… I’ll wait.

Got it?

Good.

Some might say that the neighborhood Timmy’s is the best place to make a Canadian statement – and I would agree to a certain extent if it wasn’t a matter of global import where image is everything.

I mean… seriously.

C’mon, man – give your head a shake, Steve!

What the hell were you thinking?!?!

]]> http://500wordsonwords.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/spun-with-foonerisms/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:43:32 +0000 Nathanael Green http://500wordsonwords.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/spun-with-foonerisms/ http://languageandgrammar.com/2009/04/27/going-nucular/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:21:27 +0000 languageandgrammar http://languageandgrammar.com/2009/04/27/going-nucular/ http://randomhouselibrary.com/2009/04/06/believe-it-or-not-george-w-bush-wasn%e2%80%99t-the-only-president-to-say-%e2%80%9cnucular%e2%80%9d/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:37:30 +0000 rhjen http://randomhouselibrary.com/2009/04/06/believe-it-or-not-george-w-bush-wasn%e2%80%99t-the-only-president-to-say-%e2%80%9cnucular%e2%80%9d/

No, W. wasn’t the only one.  Find out which of our presidents (yes, plural) pronounced the word “nucular,’ all this and more in the new book Origins of the Specious: Myths and Misconceptions of the English Language available on May5th.  This delightful, irreverent work debunks the many myths about our ever-changing language that have bamboozled word-loving fans of the authors’ popular blog, books, and broadcasts.  Library Journal gave it a great review.

Was George W. Bush the only president to say “nucular?” Do the British really speak better English than Americans do? Do French women wear brassières? Does “ain’t” deserve its bad rep? Should “niche” rhyme with “quiche”? Not so fast—the answers may surprise you! Brace yourself for chapters like these:

Stiff Upper Lips: Why Can’t the British Be More Like Us? In many ways, American English is more like the original than the variety now spoken in the UK. Americans have preserved much of the old mother tongue that the Brits have lost—yes, even the original accent!

Grammar Moses: Forget These Commandments. It’s never been wrong to “split” an infinitive, to end a sentence with a preposition, to use contractions, or to say “go slow.” If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s this: Any so-called rule that makes you sound like a twit probably isn’t legit.

Bad Boys of English: And Why We Still Love ’Em. Believe it or not, “ain’t” has a long—and not so disgraceful—history. So does “axe,” which used to be the standard way to spell “ask.” And George W. Bush wasn’t the only president to say “nucular”—not by a long shot.

Lex Education: Cleaning Up Dirty Words. Some of the silliest myths about English are the result of our attempts to clean up four-letter words. No, none of those unmentionables are innocent bystanders, parading around as acronyms or ancient holy words. Learn why many Saxon terms are forbidden while the Latin versions are acceptable in polite society.

Identity Theft: The Great Impostors. No, Thomas Crapper didn’t invent the flush toilet, and Julius Caesar’s mom didn’t have a caesarean section. Furthermore, Maj. Gen. Joseph Hooker gave a lot of work to working girls during the Civil War, but he didn’t give us the word “hooker.”

An Oeuf Is an Oeuf: Fractured French. A French author’s pen name isn’t a nom de plume, a French woman doesn’t call her nightgown a negligee (or her bra a brassière), and a French audience doesn’t shout “Encore!” to hear Sam play it again. By the way, “niche” has long been pronounced NITCH.

Sense and Sensitivity: PC Fact and Fiction. The word “woman” isn’t derived from “man,” and there’s no “his” in “history.” The expression “call a spade a spade” isn’t racist, and “shyster” didn’t come from Shylock.

Prepare to change your mind about where words come from and where they’re going. English is being reinvented every day all over the world. It’s never finished, and that’s its greatest strength. But amid all this change, myths are born. Let’s puncture a few!  Visit Grammarphobia.com for more fun facts and info on the book.

An unspecified nuclear event at Callaway Nuclear Plant in Missouri marks the third nuclear incident this week in the US, according to RSOE.

NC-20090220-20590-USA
Event type Nuclear Event Date / time [UTC] 20/02/2009 – 18:15:47
Country USA Area Callaway Nuclear Power Plant
County / State State of Missouri City Fulton
Cause of event Unknown Log date [UTC] 20/02/2009 – 18:15:47

17/02/2009 – 13:41:17
Country USA Area Browns Ferry Nuclear Power Plant
County / State State of Alabama City Decatur

Earlier this week, RSOE reported an event at Vermont Yankee Nuclear Plant.

See? All that junk going on in the markets seems like small potatoes now, doesn’t it?

Booga-booga

This is the World Famous Friday Open Thread. A free speech zone.

WFFOT: Because a nuke is a terrible thing to waste.

+++++

Trackposted to The Virtuous Republic, Rosemary’s Thoughts, third world county, Political Byline, Woman Honor Thyself, The World According to Carl, The Pink Flamingo, Gulf Coast Hurricane Tracker, , Democrat=Socialist, Conservative Cat, and Right Voices, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Hehhíííí, hogy én sose tudok kifogyni a jobbnál jobb zenékből, mi? Következzék hát egy újabb kis csemegéző a legutóbb beszerzet műveimből!

Ino Hidefumi: Satisfaction

A fiatal zeneszerzőt én csak úgy hívom, hogy a japán Thievery Corporation. A stílusuk nagyon egyező, szép, lightos electro/lounge/jazz, néha feldolgozásokkal (Michael Jackson: Billie Jean), néha egy kicsit elvontabb dallamokkal. 3 lemeze jelent meg összesen, nekem ez jött be a legjobban.
www.myspace.com/inohidefumi

Retro Honpo: Yeah! Rock n’ Roll!

Japánban már-már mainstream számba megy a bugyuta, csajokból álló SKA bandák hordája, ám nekem ez a csapat (főleg az 1 2 3! c. daluk) nagyon bejött. Amúgy ami nem német és angol eredetű SKA zenekar, az szar, jobb ha tőlem tudjátok.
www.myspace.com/retrohonpo

Black Sun Empire & State of Mind: Sandbag/Animal

Most így újra rákattantam a DnB/Darkstep muzsikákra, és a Sandbag c. szám iszonyat jól el lett találva! ^^
www.myspace.com/blacksunempire

ConsPiracy: Crippled Invaders EP

Görög oldskool trash metal, korhű, bugyuta borítóval (2009-es lemez). Kell ennél több?
www.myspace.com/conspiracygreece

Le Scrawl: Eager to Please

Avagy a német SKA-grindcore. Persze nem csak az. Az öt főből álló banda remekül vegyíti a Jazz, Lounge, SKA, és egyéb stílus elemeit az Experimental Grindcore-al. Igényesen, stílusosan. Vannak feldolgozásaik is (De la Soul, Mission Impossible főcímzene, stb.), szóval, aki akar valami érdekest hallani, az kattintson!
www.myspace.com/lescrawlofficial

FellSilent: The Hidden Words

“Király hangzás! Az összes feltöltött dalotok istenkirály!” (Fredrik Thordendal, szólógitáros, Meshuggah)
“Végre egy angol banda, ami nem szar! Király számok, mindegyiket élveztem!” (Dan Weller, gitár, zongora, SikTh)
Kell ennél több? Angol Progressive Metalcore a legjavából! Fórumokon már-már a legjobb angol illetve legjobb metalcore bandák közé sorolják, pedig ez csak az első nagylemezük! Az Immerse c. szám meg egyszerűen TÖKÉLETES!! Így kell szólnia egy vérbeli metalcore bandának, na!
http://www.myspace.com/fellsilent

Fostartály: Örgek EP

4 év után végre új Fostartály lemez! Az Öregek Midi Demo újradolgozott számaival, pár régebbi megasláger (Szarj!, Darth Vader Buzi, Kettészakadt Motoros, Necromedve, Isten, stb.) újrajátszott verziójával, és persze vadiúj dalokkal kijött a 23 számos 4-ik lemez! A cock’n'roll stílusú lemez INGYEN letölthető a banda oldaláról!
www.myspace.com/fostartaly

Nucular: Stigmata Copyprocess

Egy újabb német banda! Experimental-Progressive Hardcore/Screamo banda. Egy kicsit olyan, mint egy kegyetlenül elvont System of a Down + Ignite kombó. Ajánlom!
www.myspace.com/nucular

Engu: Recall a Film

Japán HC/Rapcore banda, meglepően igényes énekkel!
http://www.myspace.com/engu

és a levégére hagytam a legjobbat:

Pure Reason Revolution: Amor Vincit Omnia

Nem tudom ki ismeri őket, mert elvileg van egy elég komoly rajongótáboruk, és már elég sok neves magazinban véleményezték őket (Q, The Sun, Rocksound, stb.). Na mindegy, én csak nem rég hallottam felőlük. Nos, ez a kis angol csapat nem kispályázik! New Prog/ Progressive Rock nagyon-nagyon sok elektrónikával fűszerezve! 2 énekessel (férfi + női vokálos), klasszikus felállásban nyomják, és valami olyan zenét játszanak, hogy beszarsz kétszer! Komolyan. Annyira durván tolják, hogy hihetetlen. Nagyon erős dalaik vannak, amik mindenki (nagyi, apu, anyu, hugi, öcsi, szomszéd, stb.) számára hallgathatóak! A zene maga eszméletlen király, nincs megállás, folyamatosan szól a dob, a gitár, , a bassz, és az elektrónikus beütések, ami a sima szintitől kezdve az oldskool grime alapig bezárólag szinte bármi lehet. Az énekes csávó (és néha csaj) meg egyszerűen hihetetlen hanggal rendelkezik. A dalokra könnyen táncra perdülhetünk (ez nem vicc), és van is mire, hiszen a banda 2003-as megalakulása óta ontja a jobbnál jobb dalokat. Eddig 6 kislemezt, egy EP-t, egy koncertlemezt, és két nagylemezt dobtak ki, amiből a második most fog valamikor kijönni, és azt kötelező jelleggel hallania kell mindenkienk, komolyan! Egyszerűen TÖKÉLETES a lemez, nincs gyenge szám rajta, és a három személyes kedvencemet (Apogee, Victorious Cupid, Disconnect) meg mindenkinek ajánlom!!!!
http://www.myspace.com/purereasonrevolution

Boo Hoo.  It’s the media’s fault.  It’s Tina Fey’s fault. 

Today Palin is attacking the media’s “Very Scary” reporting of her.  WOW is that hypocritical after the fear-mongering campaign she ran and the things she said about Obama! 

But to think that Americans only find her ridiculous becuase of the media and not becuase of her own idiocy is… well, it’s ridiculous and idiotic.  She’s ridiculotic! 

It’s the media’s fault that I am ridiculous.  It’s the media’s fault that my town charges rape victims for rape kits.  (Source)

It’s the media’s fault that three times John McCain specifically critized my Wasilla earmarks and used them as examples of wasteful spending. Source

It’s the media’s fault I look foolish for proclaiming in that my “Abstinence Only” programs are the most effective way to combat teen pregnancy and keep our youth in high school and college, and then having my eldest daughter be a high-school dropout with a baby - and marry a redneck who’s also a high-school dropout.  Source  (Note: Levi was asked to resign from his job because that position requires…wait for it….wait for it……….a High School diploma!  Abstinence Only programs are awesome, Sarah! You must be so happy.)

It’s the media’s fault that I claimed I was experienced in foreign policy simply based on my street address, and without owning a passport until 2007.  At that point, I had met with zero foreign leaders or heads of state and I had travelled outside the USA only once.  Source and Source

It’s the media’s fault that not only do I not read any current events publications, but I cannot even name one of those publications. 

It’s the media’s fault that for 312 nights during my first 19 months in office that I charged the taxpayers a “per diem” totaling $16,951 for staying in my own home — an allowance intended to cover meals and incidental expenses while traveling on state business (Source)

It’s the media’s fault that not only do I permit the slaughter of wolves by chasing them with planes until they’re so exhausted that they fall down on the ground, but I also pay $150 for cutting off their leg and bringing me that prize. (Source) (If wolves can roam in Alaska…where can they live??)

It’s the media’s fault that I tried to ban books and fire librarians who stood up against government censorship (a la Middle East, China, Russia). Source, Source, and Source

It’s the media’s fault I look an idiot for saying “nucular” Source 

It’s the media’s fault that I supported the Bridge to Nowhere, that I accepted and kept the $233 million dollars provided by America’s tax payers, that I only distanced from the Bridge after it became an embarrasment and another shining example of wasteful spending.  Source

It’s the media’s fault that after 9 United States Geological Survey studies have all concluded that the habitat of Alaska’s polar bears is threatened by global warming that I sued the USA for listing Polar Bears as a Threatened Species.  Source

It’s the media’s fault that I look like a tool for saying that couldn’t entertain the idea “until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day”.

Palin lashes out at media: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28573074/?GT1=43001 

‘Nuclear’ is a three-syllable, essentially phonetic word.  The listed dictionary pronunciation is n(y)oo-klee-er.  But you have undoubtedly come across people who think it is pronounced noo-kyuh-ler.  One arrives at this pronunciation through a process called metathesis, in which a speaker switches the order of sounds in a word.  Like saying pasghetti instead of spaghetti.  Metathesis is defined as a speech error, not a pronunciation choice.

Because there are plenty of people running around saying “nucular,” some argue that it is a valid alternative.  So what do the dictionaries say?  Merriam-Webster’s added the second pronunciation in 1961.  Yet the editors received so many indignant letters that since 1981 they have included a note defending its inclusion, citing “widespread usage among educated speakers.”  Today, every letter about “nucular” receives a defensive, 400-word reply explaining that they include it merely as an alternative, not as an “acceptable” alternative.  (Although I wouldn’t put it past myself, I didn’t write them a letter – I found their response online.)

Now, you may be wondering why, at the end of Bush presidency, I would decide to write about this.  My friends, we are on the verge of electing another “alternative pronouncer” into office, and that is unacceptable.

Needless to say, neither “pasghetti” nor “nucular” reflect kindly upon a speaker.  When accomplished scientists use the latter, it makes me wonder why they don’t make the effort to correct what is probably just an old habit.  But when younger people (and politicians) use it, particularly the kind of people you know haven’t been tossing the word around in casual conversation, I think less of them.  Call me judgmental, but “nucular” is not the mark of a good education.  I’m not saying that everyone should ostracize people who habitually mispronounce words, but it is cause for valid outrage when that characteristic makes a candidate more popular.

Gov. Sarah Palin is not a gifted speaker.  She frequently repeats words in the same sentence repeatedly.  She also yet but so strings together conjunctions in the middle of a thought, and appears to think that “job creation” goes at the end of every sentence right before the period.  Yet even she correctly pronounced “nuclear” during her breakout speech at the Republican National Convention.  Why?  Because it appeared on her teleprompter as “new-clear.”  I’m serious.  It was visible from some camera angles and was even in the text-version of the speech distributed to the liberal elite press.  Whether they wanted to avoid the Bush connotation or they agreed with me about the educational connotations of metathesis, somebody at the McCain Campaign wanted to make sure Palin did not say “nucular” during her national debut.   First impressions are important.  Without that extreme measure, though, she has since reverted to her normal “nucular” pronunciation.

CNN covers the RNC “new-clear” story:

“Bushisms” and simple sentence structures made George W. Bush seem more like an average Joe, and a lot of voters connected with that.  Palin strives for the same appeal (and some other appeals Bush could never hope to achieve).  As you have surely noticed, she drops the final ‘g’ off every -ing suffix when she speaks.  Does that really appeal to the American public?  As humorist Scott Blakeman wrote after the Vice Presidential debate, “That’s not endearin’, that’s insultin’.  It assumes that if you’re really a hardworking middle class American, you’re too busy to finish pronouncing your words.”

I know that speech patterns are largely a product of one’s upbringing, and that what I’m saying could be considered discriminatory if taken out of context.  But we are talking about electing the president and vice president of the United States of America.  These people are supposed to be the best we have to offer.

As I discussed in Defending Presidential Elitism, the average American is not qualified to lead the country.  Education should not be a liability on the campaign trail, it should be a prerequisite.  Our country has suffered from mismanagement for the better part of a decade, and it’s time to put our best foot forward.  Is it too much to ask that our president and vice president be able to speak properly?

A version of this post ran in The Chronicle at Duke University.

So, if worse comes to worse…and Sarah Palin becomes president, I am sure you are wondering what might happen to our fine country and even the world.  I think that Palin as President has it pretty much down.

Make sure to click on the red phone and the globe while you are looking what god forbid might be our future.

The long awaited VP Debate Running Chat is below. Enjoy!

I cannot in good conscience promote any person (man or woman) taking the White House (again) who cannot pronounce the word nuclear. There is no second “u” in there! With that said, I present the best excerpts of the first installment (however belated) in what will hopefully be a regularly scheduled running commentary of important events/games/tv shows are below.

Just to preface: yes, some of us were playing VP Debate Bingo. Yes, some others were playing the Official VP Debate Drinking Game. No, we didn’t hold back. Yes, there may be some inside jokes you don’t get. And yes, we do use the phrase “OMG” too much.

Welcome to the Thunderdome:

DUBS: So I didn’t actually read the drinking game b/c I don’t know how…so just tell me when to drink
DUBS: Bingo, I can play that w/ no help.
DRAMA: “Can I call you Joe”
DRAMA: he should have said no

DRAMA: soccer game made its appearance already
DUBS: she’s reading off the teleprompter
CHEDDAR: McCain
CHEDDAR: McCain
CHEDDAR: McCain
DRAMA: I’m confused already
CHEDDAR: McCain
DUBS: PS: I <3 Gwen
CHEDDAR: McCain
CHEDDAR: “You both would like to be vice president”
CHEDDAR: wha wha wha what?
DUBS: this is brand new information!!!
CHEDDAR: SP: what? I thought this was the question and answer portion of the competition
DRAMA: JOHN MCCAIN
CHEDDAR: the fundamental?
CHEDDAR: what the fuck is that? Didn’t realize fundamental is a noun.

DUBS: omg she just winked at me!
DUBS: I feel dirty

CHEDDAR: oh maverick!
DUBS: MAVERICK
CHEDDAR: MAVERICK!!!
CHEDDAR: MAVERICK

DUBS: I respect your years in the senate but I don’t have them so I’m gonna diss them
DRAMA: sassed
CHEDDAR: Maverick, fly by is denied
CHEDDAR: Gwen is the smartest person here

DUBS: learn lessons?! did the great depression teach us nothing?
CHEDDAR: seriously
DUBS: BRING BACK FDR! FDR! FDR! FDR/OBAMA ‘08
CHEDDAR: Are you trying to say that you don’t want a black man to be president?
DRAMA: she doesn’t
CHEDDAR: You’d prefer a dead guy over a black guy?
CHEDDAR: Racist. Necrophiliac.
DUBS: OK fine, Obama/FDR 08

CHEDDAR: I like that whenever Joe (we can call him that right?) smiles his right eye closes like he’s winking
DRAMA: I’d hit that
DRAMA: remember I like old dudes
CHEDDAR: ew
DUBS: he’s old enough for both of us, Drama
CHEDDAR: excuse me while I vomit

CHEDDAR: does she think the economy is like leftovers?
CHEDDAR: let’s just heat em up
DRAMA: heat it up
DRAMA: just heat it up
DUBS: nuke that shizz and you’re good to go, that’s how I deal when I’ve got hockey games
CHEDDAR: don’t forget to rotate halfway through cooking

DRAMA: i wonder where Gwen Ifill got that fabulous jacket
CHEDDAR: the store for fabulous people
DUBS: Definitely not the toilet store
DRAMA: might be from michael phelps’ mom’s collection
CHEDDAR: word

DUBS: Huzzah, I won’t see my taxes raised under Obama, thanks sports information!
DRAMA: did he say under $50,000?
CHEDDAR: I think so
DRAMA: woot woot

CHEDDAR: doesn’t it annoy her how her bangs are in her eyes?
DRAMA: she needs to cut that one over her left eye
DRAMA: also, her highlights are very 2002

DRAMA: who thinks she’ll slip up and call him barack osama
DUBS: hahahaha
DUBS: I’ll bet money on that

DUBS: You know what I’d like to see, green man
DRAMA: someone needs to throw a ball at palin
CHEDDAR: you know what I’d like to see?
CHEDDAR: palin’s hair vs. biden’s hair in a cage match
DUBS: ohhh snap
CHEDDAR: to the death
DUBS: I dunno, they’re both pretty freaking hard

DRAMA: i like joe biden
DUBS: If this was Around the Horn, I just gave Biden 10 points
DRAMA: i didnt really have an opinion of him before
CHEDDAR: I was him in my civics class in HS
DUBS: Damn, as much as I love Gwen…I would so prefer Tony Reali as the moderator. Eh-yo!

DUBS: the nice thing about running with John McCain is he tells me what to say.
CHEDDAR: the nice thing about running with John McCain is that he knows everything and whispers it in my ear
CHEDDAR: the nice thing about running with John McCain is that he is friends with my dad

DUBS: bless their hearts?
CHEDDAR: bless their hearts, those sweet oil company CEOs
DUBS: they just sent me the nicest fruit baskets and fruitcakes for chriams
CHEDDAR: with their oil spills and drilling and pipelines and middle men
DRAMA: oh man, biden should have scratched his neck with his middle finger

DRAMA: revelation made aware
CHEDDAR: “there has been more and more revelation made aware to Americans”
DRAMA: thats a good phrase
CHEDDAR: is english her second language?
DUBS: Yup…you know she spoke Russian first

DUBS: I think Biden just called McCain emo

CHEDDAR: do you think Barack (we can call him that right?) hand wrote that letter?
CHEDDAR: was that before Al Gore invented the internet?

CHEDDAR: oh this should be good
DRAMA: OH wow
DUBS: “climate change is fake”
DRAMA: uhhh, you might want to think about the causes to help change it
DUBS: I think that all science teachers ever just died a little bit inside
CHEDDAR: maybe if I talk my way around this, no one will realize that I’m saying that I don’t think that man is the cause of global warming
DUBS: “all of the above” what the fuck does that mean? This is not a multiple choice test, sweetie
DUBS: Go Biden! Science wins everytime.

007 has joined
DUBS: Beinvenidoes, 007
007: gracias!!!
CHEDDAR: ignore her, she’s illiterate

DRAMA: there’s so many semi-sexual terms being thrown around
DRAMA: i think biden and palin should just go at it
DRAMA: that would be a good ending to the debate
CHEDDAR: hair animal vs. hair animal?

007: dude. gwen’s jacket is amazing
CHEDDAR: she’s awesome

DUBS: haha Gwen’s like, uhh you didn’t answer the question
DRAMA: wonderful, you agree!
DUBS: oh sassy Gwen
DRAMA: i love her

CHEDDAR: oh my god she IS TINA FEY
CHEDDAR: pew pew pew ::smile::
007: or tina fey is her… one of the other
CHEDDAR: either way

007: wow
007: that last comment of her’s was unintelligible
DRAMA: cuz we need to GET THE TROOPS OUT
007: since when is petreus a “hero”?
DUBS: We cannot fucking lose a Goddamn occupation

CHEDDAR: OMG did she just say nucular
DRAMA: yes
CHEDDAR: twice
DRAMA: yes she did
CHEDDAR: but somehow she can pronounce ahmadinejad

CHEDDAR: Other countries hate us bc of our tolerance?
CHEDDAR: our respect for women’s rights?
DRAMA: respect for women’s rights?????
CHEDDAR: is that the royal “our”?

DRAMA: good news! no second holocaust
DUBS: Sarah Palin hates women but is OK with Jews. That’s good for Red.
CHEDDAR: and Harris

CHEDDAR: I really wish he would actually say: When people ask me, ‘Joe Biden, how did you become so good looking?’
DRAMA: i wonder what he looked like when he was younger…
007: i bet he was a sexy bitch
DUBS: We both <3 Israel, like omgeez
CHEDDAR: thank goodness we both love Israel
CHEDDAR: Jesus was a Jew, you know
CHEDDAR: and a carpenter!

007: how is is possible that someone this inept has been nominated for VP??? It’s blowing my mind
DUBS: It’s a blow to all women everywhere
DUBS: this is the best McCain could find? really? really? he couldn’t find someone who actually likes other vaginas? really? really? he couldn’t find someone who at least believes in a little bit of science? really? really? and more importantly, he couldn’t find someone who likes polar bears? really? really?
CHEDDAR: we CANNOT have another supposedly educated person in our white house who is unable to pronounce the word NUCLEAR
007: that’s what I’m saying
007: i just want someone in the white house who knows how to enunciate
007: thats all i ask

DUBS: Real quick, I’d like to point out that I now know where Afghanistan is on a map, is that ok?
007: you’re already smarter than her!
DUBS: irrating? is that a word?
CHEDDAR: wait, can we go back to Afghanistan? bc I didn’t get in my talking points there and I need them if I’m going to get cookies after the debate

CHEDDAR:
DUBS: besides the flat top, eh oh
DRAMA: woot woot
DRAMA: i would have hit that
007: i told you he was a sexy bitch!
CHEDDAR:
CHEDDAR: I think that second one is when he was still a stutterer who was afraid to read aloud in class
CHEDDAR: Can I just say that Joe Biden should be a hero for stutters everywhere?
DUBS: Way to go, Kik, for finding both types of men that Drama likes
CHEDDAR: He is quite an orator
007: LOVES IT!!
CHEDDAR: I didn’t realize she hadddd a th th th thing for st st st st stutterers
DRAMA: where did you get that i like stutterers?
DUBS: hahah I meant that she found a picture of him as a little boy and as an old man

CHEDDAR: did he say Bozniats?
007: totally said bozniats
DRAMA: “i dont have a stomach for genocide”
DRAMA: good to know
CHEDDAR: me neither
DUBS: Joe Biden is against genocide. Go him.
CHEDDAR: but I do have a stomach for dead animal dissections

DUBS: “I’m just a Washington outside, I’m not used to the way you operate” actually means “holy shit, I didn’t understand a word coming out of your mouth. I was mayor in Alaska. I can see Russia from my house.”
DUBS: Wow, Palin’s mouth is crooked, I think that’s on account of the puppet strings

CHEDDAR: Gwen’s like: give me some fuckin answers bastards

CHEDDAR: Just to beat this into the ground: How is a person who has a degree in journalism not able to pronounce nuclear properly?

CHEDDAR: how many times can she say the same thing over and over again?
007: she just really wants those cookies
CHEDDAR: she also gets a caprisun now

007: how does mccain know how to win a war? we lost Vietnam!!
DUBS: did we win in Korea?
CHEDDAR: I’m pretty sure Korea was a police action
CHEDDAR: which I don’t think you can win
DRAMA: mccain probably thinks we won in vietnam
007: exactly. not a war in korea
CHEDDAR: maybe if he hadn’t gotten captured, he would know how everything turned out
007: word

DRAMA: bin laden must be laughing his ass off, how much he gets mentioned
CHEDDAR: seriously
DUBS: I think Bin Laden and his cronies are drinking every time they say Bin Laden
CHEDDAR: word
007: i would be!

DUBS: I think Tom Cruise is turning over in his grave about the flagrant use of the word maverick
CHEDDAR: She just can’t wait to be maverick instead of goose
DUBS: hahahahah
CHEDDAR: She saw the movie. Goose dies. She definitely does not want to be goose.
007: since when is she a maverick?
DRAMA: move, government, get out the way
DUBS: get out da way

DRAMA: hahahah home depot
DRAMA: sorry 007
CHEDDAR: Home Depot rules
007: please don’t say that, fucking depot…

DUBS: how dare she use the phrase, “say it ain’t so, Joe!” My sports soul just shriveled
DRAMA: did she just say his wife’s award will be in heaven?
CHEDDAR: yeah
CHEDDAR: like all teachers
DRAMA: since they all have nothing in life now?
007: exactly

DUBS: wow, her use of the word “shout out,” while nicely and accurately used, is no where near as cool as when my dad says it

DUBS: hahaha, GO GWEN! Everyone gets extra credit
CHEDDAR: did she just call Joe Biden lame
DRAMA: OOOOOHHHHHH snap

CHEDDAR: fuck yeah BINGO!
CHEDDAR: what do I win?
CHEDDAR: please be a black president, please be a black president…
007: if she’s in charge of gov reform ill move to canada
DUBS: I already picked out where in Canada I’m moving to…my mom poo-poo’d it on account of the cold but I think it’ll work.
DUBS: Y’all can come visit us in Green Gables on Prince Edwards Island if hell freezes over and McCain wins

DUBS: exceptionalism
DUBS: is that a word? gchat says no
CHEDDAR: those things that we stand for that we can be put to good use

CHEDDAR: oh god if she says Maverick one more time I might jump out the window
DUBS: you read my mind
CHEDDAR: there it is
DRAMA: go jump
DUBS: bye bye, ched. it was nice knowing you
CHEDDAR: it was nice knowing you guys
DUBS: good thing Ched lives in one-story place
007: no joke!
CHEDDAR: fortunately, the closest window is only about 4 feet above the ground

007: do the republicans realize that taxes pay for roads and schools?? Sometimes you cant just cut taxes, thats important money!!
DRAMA: i think he just said that
DRAMA: i know that taxes pay for that stuff from playing Sim City
DRAMA: it sucks when you don’t have taxes
007: exactly

DUBS: a choice on Nov. 4?! You can choose between change and the future and moving to Canada
DRAMA: cue the music
DUBS: I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free
CHEDDAR: is she implying that Barack and Joe are not proud to be Americans?
007: yes
CHEDDAR: Living in a country where, no matter where you come from, you can be whatever you want to be, makes me, Amber Atkins, Proud to be An American.
DUBS: Niles says “I think Lee Greenwood wants his song back”

CHEDDAR: I love BDub
CHEDDAR: any news anchor who can say Weezy on national television is awesome
DUBS: he said that?
CHEDDAR: when he was interviewing Michael Phelps during the Olympics and asked him who he listens to before races and he said Lil Wayne
CHEDDAR: BDub called him Weezy
DUBS: that is amazing

Geoffrey Nunberg can make one quite self conscious to write even a simple sentence. And yes, that is a compliment. A regular language commentator on NPR’s Fresh Air, Nunberg examines the curious ways in which the modern language expresses far more about history, politics, and culture than most casual English users would ever realize. Going Nucular, besides having one of the more whimsical titles to come along in a while, offers up scores of chapters, each examining specific words, phrases, or verbal tendencies. And while words like “terrorism”, “fascism”, “appeasement”, and “Caucasian” (and even the hapless “like” and “ain’t”) are tossed about regularly in contemporary usage, achieving an understanding of their origin and evolution can serve to better explain not just the word but the issue to which it is attached. Other language books have become popular among the “grammarati” for their hard line approach but Nunberg seeks to explore and understand rather than to enforce and punish. To that end, he defends “blog” as being a verb and noun that has earned its place in the language; it’s very phonetic clunkiness being part of the appeal. And though he can diagram a sentence with the best of them, Nunberg is at his most delightful when shining a harsh lingual light on the ways in which the average person encounters words every day. A stinging and hilarious indictment of TV news’ weird obsession with the present tense (“In North Dakota, high winds making life difficult”) makes the reader hear the evening news in an entirely new way. Going Nucular is much more than a nudge and a wisecrack to self-appointed word cops, it’s an insider’s tour of the vernacular by the English teacher you only wish you had. –John Moe

Going Nucular: Language, Politics, and Culture in Confrontational Times is available at Amazon for $11.05. To Order click here
Amazon Product Pages contain a lot of other details on this product as Customer Reviews, Sales Ranking, Special Offers, Alternate products that customers are going for and much more.Want to read these details? click here

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Other Products of Interest

• Talking Right: How Conservatives Turned Liberalism into a Tax-Raising, Latte-Drinking, Sushi-Eating, Volvo-Driving, New York Times-Reading, Body-Piercing, Hollywood-Loving, Left-Wing Freak Show
• The Way We Talk Now
• Whose Freedom?: The Battle over America’s Most Important Idea
• Thinking Points: Communicating Our American Values and Vision
• Don’t Think of an Elephant: Know Your Values and Frame the Debate–The Essential Guide for Progressives

Posted by Jane

Okay, so I know this has nothing to do with the basis of our blog, which covers relationships and situations of looove if you will, but I must, I repeat, I MUST get this off my chest before I explode into a red white and blue balloon full of American peanut butter that never made its way to Afghanistan.

As the bouncy, sprightly Dennis Kucinich said during this year’s Democratic convention and for the lack of not being able to say it better, ”Wake up, America!” And please smell some liberal colored roses on the way up the hill! What is wrong with some of the people in our great country today who have been joining these violent, anti-Muslim, anti-black, anti-”other” rallies that both Sarah Palin and John McCain both lead, condone and encourage?

What’s wrong with those who would rather shout racist, violent obscenities somewhat reminiscent of the Klu Klux Klan instead of moving forward and ridding the country of this kind of irrelevant and static behavior? More so, what’s wrong with a presidential nominee, and his partner in crime who actually encourage such antics at their rallies, whose audience enjoys and gets off on calling Senator Obama names like “terrorist” and “that one” and probably lots of other horribly offensive slurs?

Not only does Barack hold more decorum and class in his little pinky than McCain has in his entire body, but he’s more prepared to act as a peacemaker between us and the rest of the world, and possibly even between Americans!

The fact that Governor Palin and Senator McCain are appealing to fear and uncertainty, ultimately creating more hatred of ethnic and religious differences really makes my head spin like a Guru Dev on Prozac. And if I had a farm, it would “makes alls my chickens and cows tip and keel over.”

So I have nothing but contempt for those 2 at the moment I’m afraid, which honestly, I feel bad saying, because 1) I am aware that McCain has done some good for this country 2) I am aware he’s a former POW and that is only something to be respected, but 3) he fought in Vietnam, and with all due respect that makes him, well, UNBALANCED. If you don’t believe me, what more proof do you need by the woman he chose to run beside him as his pit bull with benefits?

But I digress. No more of the attacks, I promise. What I do hope, though, is that undecided voters can see through their tactics and realize they pose a genuine threat to American society as we wish it to be, not what it has become in the past 8 years. I sincerely hope those of you unsure of this election will chose the side that promises a light at the end of the tunnel, and not a “nuc-u-lar” weapon.

PLEASE! Don’t do a Homer and ‘doh’ when you realize you’ve made the wrong decision when McCain starts another war, a draft is reenstated, our health care becomes more expensive and we undergoe another great depression (which may happen regardless of who’s president anyway!)

So please. I beg you. Wake up and drink the fairtrade coffee. Help to make America tolerable again and vote for Barack Obama for President of the United States.

Thank yee, and God Bless America.

Ariel and I were concerned about Ms. Palin and the problems she might have resulting from her “tolerant” attitude towards the gays. So, we did what any good patriot would do. We posted a Craigslist ad for her:

Date: 2008-10-05 10:53:52
PostID: 867356700
Title: (strictly platonic) need a gay friend   - w4m - 44

I need a new best gay friend! I'm a busy wife and mother who needs
a new best gay pal for cosmos, facials, and tips on keeping the
snowblower happy, if you know what I mean!!! I need a new gay
friend after my old gay friend went nucular on me, he said I was
too needy! He said I was always legislating his life and it just
wasn't fair and I said that's what mavericks do!, and you know, I
just didn't feel comfterable having him meet my beutiful family,
you understand right honey?   Me, I'm folksy and down-to-earth,
gets along well with older, mavericky men!

tags: m4m, gay, homosexual, fag hag, sinner

    • Location: Main Street
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other
      commercial interests

Ahh the vice presidential debate.  Watching Joe Biden and Sarah Palin duke it out was not as refreshing as I would have hoped.  One of the earlier topics that got my attention was in regards to energy.  I’m not sure how Governor Palin says the biggest cause of global climate change is not due the activity of man but a cyclical temperature changes on our planet and then go on to say she doesn’t want to argue about the causes, but that we need to clean up the planet, reduce emissions and we have to become energy independent.  And please, someone, does she say Nucular?  Why do these well educated people think they can make up their own words?  Regardless of her use of Bush vocabulary, she loses me.  Biden clears it up by saying if you don’t understand what the causes it is virtually impossible to come up with a solution.  The reason the polar ice cap is melting is because of this man made problem and Joe is very clear in making that point.  Clean coal and alternative energy sources is one of his solutions.  Export it, create jobs with it, and reduce pollution as opposed to “drill baby drill” as Palin so coyly chants.

And this obviously is where I agree with neither the Obama/Biden nor McCain/Palin camps.  Offering same sex benefits (insurance, hospital visitation rights etc) is awfully considerate of both parties, and about time as this has been an issue before and for quite a while.  However, there is this long standing question of the “sanctity” and “institution” of marriage between “one man and one woman” and no matter how many times I hear it, I still don’t understand it.  My first question is, what do my private decisions have to do with you?  If I’m one half of a gay couple, and we decide to get married, how does that diminish your marriage or any other marriage?  My second question is what does the institution of marriage actually mean and represent?  We live in a nation that at the time is being hovered over by a 50% and rising divorce rate – a nation with people like Elizabeth Taylor (I only use her because her nuptial record is well known) who has been married FIVE times – a nation with people like Britney Spears who impulsively get married in Vegas for whatever reason, and then get an annulment the next day.  I’m not diminishing their decisions, those were their own to make and they have nothing to do with me.  I just don’t understand why people who talk about this all being, all knowing institution of marriage and how it needs to remain intact, are not insulted by the disrespect the institution gets by heterosexual couples, but cant bare the though of a committed homosexual couple using the same term to define their relationship.  The institution is more or less insulted on a day to day basis when 1 in 2 marriages are ending in divorce, but because it’s easier to pinpoint the homosexuals, and it’s easy to argue that marriage “should be” between a man and a woman, it’s easy to ignore when opposite sex couple slap it in the face.  It doesn’t balance out to me.  It doesn’t balance out that I can go marry any guy I want on impulse and have it annulled a half hour later, but a couple who is in love and committed to one another can’t be afforded a simple title because they’re same sex.  And again, I have to go back to the question, what does it matter to you?  I mean, you wouldn’t even know about the same sex couples getting married, but even if you did, if it somehow belittles your own marriage, you have more problems than meets the eye, my friend.

In terms of the war, she has the same approach as McCain – win, win, win.  We must win in Iraq, we must win.  Biden argues a 16 month withdrawal versus no end in site for McCain.  Palin strikes back by calling that plan the “White Flag of surrender.”  I call her plan the stiff nose of stubbornness.  Through this discussion, Palin uses the word “nucular” several more times, and she really starts to make my head spin.

All in all, and I know I’ve joked about this before, but if this woman ever becomes President of the United States, I WILL be moving out of the country.  I hear Montreal is lovely.

Saw most of the debate last night, but gave up on it after a while. I felt like I was just sort of cheering for the side I’d already chosen. One thing I’ve noticed this election cycle is a difference I perceive in the way the different parties seem to be voting. To wit: it seems to me that people who are supporting the Barack Obama/Joe Biden ticket are doing so because they truly believe in it, while people who are supporting the John McCain/Sarah Palin ticket are doing so because they truly believe against its opposite.

Which is to say: it seems to me that the entire election, no matter how people are voting, is being determined by Barack Obama. Either people really like him and believe he can do the job well, or people really dislike him and don’t believe he can do it and so want to keep him from office at all costs.

I read a bit of the debate coverage. I was surprised it recorded higher viewership than the actual presidential debate. One of the reasons I’m rather indifferent here is that, well, No Contest 2008 is a presidential election. Too many people are forgetting that.

But really, I want to talk about language.

I thought Biden was calm, self-assured, and rather articulate. He seemed to speak well.

But what is it, exactly, that seems to prevent all conservative, Christian Republicans from being able to pronounce words like “nuclear”? How can you correctly pronounce the name of Ahmadinejad but then say that Iran is pursuing nukular technology? And what is it about “bet you” versus “betcha.” I’ve heard people refer to it as ‘folksy charm,’ but that just makes me wonder:

Are folks linguistically retarded?

It’s the only explanation I can think of.

And can I just say: is there anything more condescending than this whole “Main Street” versus “Wall Street” thing? I get that it’s a comment on investment banking and the financial market, and I’m not saying I fully understand either (then again, I think few people understand either, and that includes the people dealing in both, which is probably a big part of the reason for the current state of the economy), but it seems both divisive and willfully ignorant. It seems to me to kind of say: “Oh, is that that thar, like, paper money and such? Me and the missus don’t give that much thought. We’re simple folks, me and the missus. We go to our church and pray to keep things simple. The people in the schools and all that book-learnin’… we don’t much abide by all that. We only need the one book, me and the missus. We heard people invest money in stuff like stocks and bonds, but we don’t understand that. The missus just keeps a stash in her underwear drawer, and that’s always served us well enough. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go milk a cow.”

You’d think that given the four different colleges and universities Palin attended (all as an undergraduate, mind you), and given the fact that she spent five years earning a degree in communication and journalism (“Lots of people go to school for seven years.” “Yeah. They’re called doctors.”), she’d be able to pronounce a word like “nuclear.”

Here’s another question: if Barack Obama got on stage and used words like “betcha,” “gotcha,” “ain’t,” and “nucular,” would people wink and nudge and say he’s all folksy or would they question his education, and how he managed to get into law school? I’d bet dollars to donuts someone would mention the words “affirmative action” in the same sentence as “president.”

Why is it so hard for people, prominent people especially, to say nuclear correctly?