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Pressure on Obama to Quickly Resolve Centuries-old Muslim Religious Conflict

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Congressional leaders left the White House on Wednesday “deeply frustrated” that President Obama had not found a swift resolution to the conflict between Sunnis and Shiites that began in the seventh century A.D. 6 more words


Obama Already Knows Who He’s Going To Tear Apart In Memoir

WASHINGTON (The Onion)—With two and a half years remaining in his second term, President Obama told reporters Monday he can already say exactly whom he will rip to pieces in his eventual post-presidency memoir. 20 more words


Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria

WASHINGTON, September 25, 2013 (The Onion)—As President Obama continues to push for a plan of limited military intervention in Syria, a new poll of Americans has found that though the nation remains wary over the prospect of becoming involved in another Middle Eastern war, the vast majority of U.S. 10 more words