Man, what I would give to be able to have a normal relationship with food, instead of being a compulsive overeater, even just for one night out to eat. 

 Here is how this dream dinner at a restaurant would look…  (cue the dream sequence music…)  I would read over the entire menu and see what I was in the mood for, regardless of whether or not the food had a cream sauce, if it was breaded and/or fried, if it was healthy, or what the starch being served along with it was.  Of course I would be perusing this menu as I enjoyed an exotic alcoholic beverage.

I would order whatever I felt like, maybe even opt for a creamy soup instead of a salad, or oh my goodness, maybe I would even order an appetizer that was fried.  I would have a piece or two of the bread and spread some butter on it.  I would be served all of these foods and be able to stop eating them when I felt like I’d had enough.  I would leave the remainder sitting in front of me, no problem, feeling completely happy and satiated with whatever portion I just ate.

To finish the meal, I would choose any dessert that looked good to me.  I would eat some of it until I was satisfied, then simply be able to just move the plate away or sit with it right in front of me  and not give it another thought, have no longing for it whatsoever.

In this dream, if I perhaps felt I ate too much on this night out, I would quite simply eat a bit less the next day and it wouldn’t phase me a bit.  No hunger pains or obsession for the same decadent foods.  Ho-hum, just another day.

How I wish that this wasn’t a dream.  How I wish I could eat in a restaurant just as I described,  just like anyone who has a normal relationship with food, and that the above situation would just be a regular night of eating out for me.

What would your dream dinner out as a person who has a normal relationship with food  look like?

Elfyma tipsar och skriver:

“Våra värsta farhågor om islam besannas i den brittiska dokumentären ”Under moskéns täckmantel” från 2007.

Imamerna predikar krig (jihad) mot oss kafirer och kuffar i sina moskér, och säger att målet är att de skall omvandla våra samhällen till islamiska kalifat.
Kommande sändningar i AxessTV:

2009-11-26 kl. 16:40
2009-11-28 kl. 18:30
2009-11-29 kl. 13:05
2009-11-30 kl. 07:45
2009-12-01 kl. 23:35″

Tack Elfyma!

Smileth tipsar:

Jag har ännu inte hunnit se hela filmen, men den är väldigt bra. Så klicka och se vad muslimer vill med våra västländer:

Obsession- Radical Islam’s War Against the West.

http://www.radicalislam.org/obsession.php

En annan länk till samma film, där språket ofta är engelska och viss textning är på franska:

Obsession islamic radical

Mvh/:)Smileth

obsession is such an odd word -

it parades as romance, possession

but generally ends in depression -

it seems like love but is really an expression

of delusion, vanity and indiscretion

an empty vortex of concession

to the great gods of transgression

it rarely ends well, instead becomes a progression

of fear, denial, mania and suppression -

a soul sister to hate’s ugliness and aggression

ultimately, the exponential expression

of love’s greatest obsession

must end its heart-wrenching procession -

perhaps with the mind’s intercession

obsession can end.

I’ve been playing and organizing my makeup today, because I’m pretending like I’m actually on vacation.

I swatched my newest shadows from AL, some people have asked to see them, so without any further ado!!

From left to right: L’Orchidee Shadow Witch, Spring Solstice Chicory and Forget-Me-Not, Valentines 2009 Hot Stuff, Heart and Soul, Soulmate, L’Orchidee Cricket, and Bete Noire Chantal

When love is dead

Как я уже писала, занесла меня судьба в Швецию. Может быть, я как-нибудь и напишу подробнее о своем здесь пребывании, но не сегодня (в виду отсутствия русской клавиатуры, пользуюсь транслитом, что просто действует мне на нервы).
А вот о том, каков ноябрь в Швеции, я расскажу. Точнее, покажу свою реакцию на отсутствие солнца, ежедневные дожди и холод.

Just when I feel jaded about the blogosphere, I discovered a new blog InvisibleGaijin that mixes wicked satire and faux news with a focus on men’s fashion. Swoon.

The above is from InvisibleGaijin’s story about Japanese underwear, which connects undergarment obsession with recession and soshoku danshi (herbivores), and in part reads:

Self-professed gaijin with love/hate relationship with Japan, Fuzakeruna Konogaijinme, commented, “Japanese salarymen always turn inwards in recessions, peering into their navels in hopes no one notices they don’t do shit at work. Underwear that makes your balls feel good always sells.”

(Image from www.pants-ya.com. Almost NSFW).

Virgin of Guadalupe

I am one of those Russian/Polish girls
whose high cheekbones make men’s hearts beat faster,
make them weak in the knees.
Is it my fault I get nervous when I hear a mazurka,
feel guilty when I worship old icons, chant novenas to

faded photos of my oppressed ancestors?

The ones who fled to Chicago,

in search of religious freedom and better food

and never looked back?

They might condemn my crucifix-obsession,
my retablo of the Virgin of Guadalupe that lives at eye level,
directly across from my bed.
She’s small, five by eight, old & faded,
more Shroud of Turin than brightly painted Mexican
mujar. She gives me peace, helps me write,
dissolves the barriers of faith.

This morning the Virgin stares me down. Goads me to transgress.
Go ahead! Write those dirty books, she laughs, I dare you!
The ocean waves outside my window lull me into stupor.
Hail Mary, Full of Grace.
Let’s get lost in the mystery.
Those cheekbones!
Those cheekbones!
Ah! Those cheekbones!

Alexis Rhone Fancher

All Rights Reserved

© 2009

At the moment my new obsession is John Mayer!! I love his music and I’m excited about his new CD that just came out! The CD is called Battle Studies! My favorite songs from the album are: Half of My Heart ft. Taylor Swift, Who Says, and Heartbreak Warfare. My favorite of his older songs are: Why Georgia, Free Fallin’, Daughters, Dreaming With A Broken Heart, Heart of Life, and Gravity. Everyone should go buy his new CD and his old CDs! He’s a great sing! I hopefully I get to go to his concert when he comes to Oklahoma! (:

Comment back and tell me your favorite John Mayer song!

<3alinicole

At this point, I have to admit, I have a new Internet entertainment obsession: Amazon.com. Yes, I know your first reaction would likely be, “who doesn’t?” Well this is a little different from what you would expect and it even does not require the spending of money.

What started it:

A co-worker shared a link on Facebook posted by another co-worker regarding some particularly hilarious Amazon customer reviews. These reviews were of the (apparently now famous/infamous) Mountain Men’s Three Wolf Moon Shirt:

The Mountain Men’s Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee:

http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Mens-Three-Short-Sleeve/product-reviews/B002HJ377A/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Let me first warn you. Before you start perusing the reviews you might be advised upon doing so, the next two to three hours of your day just might be spent. Starting with the first one: “This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened . . .”

I was hooked. I could not stop.

Upon doing some additional binging (no – we don’t “Googel” here) on the web, I discovered this has become quite the internet meme while remaining somewhat underreported. It turns out, the Wolf Moon T-shirt is one of the most popular of this phenom but not the only one.

Numerous references are made to the “Tuscan Whole Milk” customer review page (I know – ordering milk online?)

The Tuscan Whole Milk Reviews
(Heavily popular and well-referenced across the web)
http://www.amazon.com/Tuscan-Whole-Milk-Gallon-128/product-reviews/B00032G1S0

What further amazes me is the fact these are allowed to stay posted. And that’s where the creativity lies. Amazon’s customer review policy only targets the removal of negative and inciddiery reviews that are not directly target at the product itself. Although, many times, this is put to the test and in some of what I read, pretty much this policy has been violated (see Bil Keane below.)

Some reviews are not nearly a bizarre as the product that is beiong reviewed. Did you know Amazon sold Uranium Ore?

http://www.amazon.com/Uranium-Ore/product-reviews/B000796XXM/

Are you in the market for some BIC Pens? Why go to the local Walgreens when you can order from Amazon and – get the inside scoop from customer reviews!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000JTOYLS/

“Very good if you need to write on paper!”

And where else can you get literary perspectives of the King James Bible with varying degrees of intellect:
http://www.amazon.com/Boldtext-Pew-Bible-James-Version/product-reviews/0834003473/

Then we come to the Family Circus Reviews: Someone has serious issues with Bil Keane.

http://www.amazon.com/I-Had-Frightmare-Bil-Keane/product-reviews/0449146154/

http://www.amazon.com/What-Does-This-Say-Keane/product-reviews/0345470303/

And as for the shirt? Yes, I did order one. I mean – who could resist with such stellar reviews!

quantum?

There’s nothing unusual here. Except, perhaps, and only perhaps, my perception.

 

epistemology:
ἐπιστήμη – episteme-, “knowledge, science” + λόγος “logos” – “theory of knowledge,” 1856; branch of philosophy that investigates the limits of human knowledge

ontology:
ὄν, genitive ὄντος: of being (neuter participle of εἶναι: to be) and -λογία, “metaphysical science or study of being,” 692; branch of metaphysics that studies the nature of existence.

If you want to think about the origins of the universe you can find enough resources to keep busy for the rest of a natural lifetime. Stephen Hawkings (Brief History of Time); Richard Dawkins (The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution and [absurdly] Everything You Know About God Is Wrong: The Disinformation Guide to Religion);  “The Universe,” and “How the Earth Was Made” on the Discovery Channel; the journal Astrobiology (“Why is the definition of life so elusive? epistemological considerations,” by Serhiy A. Tsokolov; “Signatures of a shadow biosphere,” by Paul C. W. Davies et al; and hundreds more); the evangelical Christian geneticist Francis Collins (The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief).

I read stuff—too much—what I  comprehend I can’t assimilate with what I “know.”

One can learn some sort of cosmic plan is behind the universe and the development of “life.” Or one can learn the universe—including homo sapiens—is a cosmic accident. One can discover the theory of evolution is incontrovertible. Or one can read Texas newspapers and find out why it’s not so. 

I’ve already written about all of this stuff here, and about my life-long, somewhat erratic and contradictory thinking about epistemology, ontology, evolution, and why I could never in a thousand years get the hang of using an I-Phone. But this stuff has been on my mind again in the past few days. 

This morning  I realized I didn’t have studs my ear, unusual because I’ve had two in that ear virtually constantly since 1980 when I entered a relationship in which a public sign was required for people to understand its dynamics. I took them out last Friday to have an MRI on my poor brain. My neurologist wants to see it for himself rather than relying on 15-year-old scans He keeps mentioning surgery on the TLE spots. I tell him he can have the whole brain to play with when I die. That doesn’t end the discussion. I took the diamond and the sapphire out of my earlobe four days ago and forgot to put them back. I decided to find different sparkles to wear. Yes, I am too old for such nonsense. It’s probably “arrested development” from being in love with Yul Brynner in The King and I when I was eleven.

I went looking for other ear studs. I live 24/7 in what most people would consider an intolerable mess. Stuff is here, there, and everywhere. I knew the box of sparkles (all genuine, some ridiculously expensive) was in the top drawer of my antique high-boy (burled walnut inlays on light wood, original brass pulls circa 1879). In the drawer were three socks I can’t find mates for, two empty underwear boxes, two hand towels, the plastic bag my C-Pap mask came in, other pieces of clothing, family pictures in frames, Mom’s old red-leather New Testament, two lacquered boxes with lots of interesting stuff in them, a box with a dozen or so rings I’d wear if I could stand to have anything on my hands, two original Colt Studios photographs given to me by a friend twenty years ago (worth something in some gay second-hand store), and two watches and a cameo pendant that belonged to my late ex-wife’s grandmother. The box with the diamonds, garnet, and the other sapphire was not in the drawer.

The stuff of my life.

My life? Exactly what is my life? That is not an idle question or an epistemological dilemma. Friends tell me to stop fretting: it is not a matter of angst that we may be living in parallel universes or that quantum mechanics has opened the possibility that we are flying off in all directions at all times and the fact is that nothing is real or solid, and we just think it is. The epistemology of ontology. The knowledge of being. I have no (certain) knowledge of my being.

When I was a kid having daily seizures (I wish TLE seizures were visible—I might have had care before I was 38 years old), I began to assume, since nothing “felt” real much of the time, that nothing IS real. Heisenberg’s principle in my brain? I knew the more I thought about what was whirling in my mind, the less certain I could be of my position in time and space. I knew the less I thought about the dissociation in my brain, the more certain I was of my place in time and space.

An then one day I discovered that I will die. That set off a chain reaction of trying to figure out whether or not I was really alive or ever had been, and if I were alive or ever had been, what that meant for the rest of my existence and why it had to end, but at the same time how bizarre were all of those theories and beliefs about eternal life that filled the hymns I played (and loved) as a child.

There’s a land that is fairer than day,
And by faith we can see it afar;
For the Father waits over the way,
To prepare us a dwelling place there.
In the sweet by and by, We shall meet on that beautiful shore:
In the sweet by and by, We shall meet on that beautiful shore.

The beautiful shore?

So now I am old; I must, by law, sign up for Medicare within six weeks. Got it? 65 approaches. My recurrent theme, the dreadful awareness that it’s all going to be over almost immediately for me. It could happen today.

And then what. Whom will I meet on the beautiful shore? No one. Because the beautiful shore isn’t. Or is it? And if the electrons whirling around at a speed that only a quantum physicist can think about that make up what is commonly held by other human beings to be my body suddenly stop whirling in exactly the same way they are right now, and the electrons that make up my breath stop moving in and out, and that causes the sub-atomic particles of the electrical synapses that make up my awareness to stop doing whatever it is they are doing right now (or do I—or some creature I can’t even comprehend—imagine they are doing what they are doing), and my “awareness” of myself ceases, then what happens to all of these sub-atomic particles whirling dizzyingly around the matrix that I experience as ME? Don’t they keep whirling dizzily around without me? And do I go on to the beautiful shore, or does the illusion that is “me” simply cease to exist and no one and no thing and no subatomic particle is any the wiser. Except I am not even aware that I am not aware any more.

And my brother and sister are left to sort out all that stuff in my high boy bureau and get rid of all this stuff floating around in my apartment and my nieces get my diamonds and then the universe (if there is a universe) waits for their subatomic particles to stop whirling so it can have back all of its stuff. People and diamonds.

Kristen’s long time friend, Tracey joined us for Alterna Thanks last Saturday. Tracey was in charge of bringing a couple of appetizers. I liked her display of fresh sliced oranges, pomegranate seeds,persimmon wedges,  crystalized ginger pieces and sliced apples. She encouraged everyone to eat the the persimmons along with a chunk of ginger. They were delicious!

She also brought radishes to be dipped in softened butter and two types of salts. Although I’m not a fan of radishes I couldn’t resist a try since everyone at the table was ohhh’ing and awwww’ing at their complexities. After my attempt I quickly went back to the persimmons and ginger.

Another one of my photography obsessions is capturing candle light glow. I realized that I began taking dozens of photos at the dinner table while everyone was chatting and working on digesting the scrumptious thanksgiving meal we ate. This is a bad habit (I think) of mine. I think it’s a way for me to tune out a little. But, I can’t help but to obsess on capturing interesting images like this one.

Photo by VC Ferry

“Yet love enters my blood like an I.V.,
dripping in its little white moments.” – Anne Sexton

VC Ferry

All Rights Reserved

© 2009

Hands are kind of like the tree bark of humans, aren’t they? Scars, wrinkles, and prints – they depict what we’ve been through, who we belong to and the daily grime. They tell so much about who we are. I have short little fingers that have never allowed me to play an instrument. I have a scar on one of the knuckles on my left hand from an old bracelet and my nails are never caught naked without a coat of dark colored polish.
I may be obsessed with boys’ hands. I want to know where their callouses are from, how many centimeters their fingers reach past my own, and if they are warm enough to warm my constantly cold hands. I could write poem after poem about wrinkled knuckles and the proof of work that hides under nails.

Also, a new inspiration for me is The Fame Monster by the genius, Lady Gaga. Do yourself a favor and download the whole thing. It’s dark yet still purely pop music. Listen to Monster first, it’s brilliant and relatable. I won’t recommend music unless I believe in it, so trust this.

In other news, today is my 22nd birthday. And honestly, it has been more than I expected. I feel like I am shedding sparkles everywhere – I’m happy, and that is the best gift.

My Aromaleigh Hi-Fi Retro Mattes samples arrived today.  I had a dozen other things on my to-do list that seriously got shoved aside the moment I saw this envelope.

Mattes are one of those things I’m always searching for.  Mineral mattes are notoriously difficult to formulate, they either get chalky or you can’t seem to blend them.  Some of the last mattes I ran across actually got streaky as I applied them, I assume because they were not quite blended as well as they could be.

The formula on AL’s regular line of mattes, Pure Eyes Mattes, is one of my favorites.  It’s buttery smooth and blends easily.  The only thing that ever kept me from stocking up was the lack of BRIGHT and crazy shades.

When Kristen first posted previews of her new Mattes I was immediately in love with the retro themed bright colors.  So many of these give me instant flashbacks of when I was a kid at my Grandma’s house.  She was generous enough to send me a sample set to review.

From left to right : Supermurgatroid, Kookie, Heels on Fire, Daddy-o, Fake Out, Cranked, Smokin’

From left to right : Ankle Biter, Cool It, Cat’s Pajamas, Train Wreck, Got Dibs, In Orbit, In The Mix

From left to right : Radioactive, Real Gone, What’s Shakin, Big Tickle, Spaz, Flip Your Lid

Formula / Colors

The colors swatch just as brightly as they appear in the baggies, something I honestly did not expect.  With a good base (I’m using TFSI) they are sharp and vibrant.  Some of the shades, while matte, have a bit of a twinkle to them, such as Cranked and In Orbit.  It’s very subtle but lends just a bit of depth.  The shades come in a wide spectrum of colors, from lights to darks.

They blend well, either into each other to shade or out into your lid for a faded look with no sharp edges.  They go on smooth, not at all sticky.  They’re not at all chalky or ‘dusty’ and it only takes a little to get opaque coverage, versus having to layer it on to get the colors to pop.

The actual shadow itself is well blended.  In a few of the mattes I’ve gotten from other companies in the past they had little bits of what I can only assume was the base sort of floating inside that would leave a white streak when applied.  I know AL uses quality machinery to blend their colors, so I have no fear of that here.  The minerals are fine smooth.

The colors themselves are really unique.  My personal favorites are Spaz, which reminds me of the daisies on the plates my Mom used when I was growing up.  Kookie, because it’s an amazing bright pink.  Big Tickle, it’s AQUA, so very retro.

Conclusion

Would I purchase more AL’s Hi-Fi Retro Mattes even though I have a full set of samples?  Oh heck, yes.

• The colors are unique and bright, but there are enough muted shades that there is something for every one.
• The formula really surprised me, no splotching.

You can expect to hear more about these shades in the up coming days as I wear them and try them out.  My initial thoughts, though, are that they are amazing and I can see so many different people liking these, not just for the formula, but for the colors as well.

]]> http://dancingirja.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/burgermeister/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:01:36 +0000 dancingirja http://dancingirja.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/burgermeister/

I don’t really eat that much meat. Apart from my chocolate addiction, I’d also say that I have a healthy diet. This has however changed. I did a mistake, a beautiful mistake. A delicious mistake: after a gig, a friend and I went to Burgermeister to get a burger, and there it was, my wonderful cheeseburger. I was in bliss. I don’t even know if it was that great – I was hungry and already had some beers, so it’s hard to tell. But it was the first burger I had for almost a year, that wasn’t the McDeath type of burger. It reminded me of where I study on Norway, where there’s this great burger place – yes,  Norway – home of great hamburgers.

3 burgers appear to be resting on the floor carpet - I'd probably pick them up and eat them anyway

So now my problem is, everytime I’m hungry, I feel like having a burger. I wake up and think about burgers. I could eat one right now, even though I just had food. I talk to my friends about burgers. In other words, I am going crazy. It’s my new obsession, my new, wonderful obsession! It will make me fat and I will die alone, but not lonely. Burgers are our friends, some better than others. Some small, some big, some strange or original. Some are nicely wrapped, others just come as they are.

I realize that this could be a very unhealthy addiction. I’m pretty good at controlling myself, though.. but the plan now is to make my own burgers, and using friends coming over for food as an alibi to eat them. Good plan, huh?

So like most people I love all types of music. I pretty much have my iPod or iTunes going all day. In the morning getting ready for work, on the way to work, at work (got to love iTunes at work), going home from work, working out, and sometimes at night when I just want to relax.

I appreciate good music, and I tend to like a lot of genre’s . One thing that really “grinds my gears” though, are music snobs. I admit there is some pretty awful music out there *cough* Miley Cyrus *cough* but people like what they like. Just because you like emo and someone else loves pop doesn’t make you better than them. Just sayin’. Music can be appreciated by all types of people, and all types of people can appreciate a lot of different music.

They (although I don’t know who the “they” is) often say music defines your style. To an extent that is true. Right now I am loving Muse, Yeah Yeah Yeah’s, Adele, the Noisettes, KOL, so my style is a little feminine (floral, flowing, and lace) mixed with a rock edge (boots, torn jeans, dark nail polish). With that in mind check out Polyvore.com. Here is an example of my styling choices for New Years.

Music is just so defining.  I can relate certain songs with certain points in my life, and when I hear the music it takes me back to those times. For example, on of my favorite songs when I was younger were “Gloria” by Laura Branigan & “Horse with No Name” by America. On the other side I have this cute little video of my dad singing “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the bangles, and I am just flailing my arms around in excitement.

One of the best Christmas memories I have was when I was about 5 or 6. My much older sibs were holding me up and would sing “Help,” then they would point to me and I would continue “I need some body . . .”

Elementary school was defined by the ever popular Spice Girls, Nsync, and Hanson.

High School went from B. Spears to 311, OAR and Sublime.

College was when I really expanded my listening pleasures. I have always loved blues but have become a bigger fan of it. As a kid I always loved “At Last” by Etta James (now made famous by the Obama’s), Billie Holiday, and BB King. I recently started to get back into it. I also enjoy musical show tunes. I used to love the songs from older movies such as South Pacific, the King and I, Oklahoma, Gypsy, Cry Baby. I also love Rent, We Will Rock You, Wicked, Grease, etc.

Anyway, I could go on forever. I will always be grateful for good music, old & new. It is what gets me through life.