Tahukah kau
Ini adalah janjiku untuk yang kesekian kalinya
Ini janjiku untuk yang tak terhitung kalinya
Ini janjiku untuk diriku sendiri
aku bahkan tidak menghargaiku
bagaimana aku akan menghargaimu

Tahukah kau aku berjanji bukan seperti seorang
seolah aku tahu besok aku masih akan menemui pagi
aku masih akan mendengar suara siang
aku masih akan menikmati manisnya gula

hidup

aku bukan anak kecil lagi yang harus dapat semua yang kuingini
aku bukan anak kecil lagi dimana setiap orang harus memenuhi inginku
aku bukan anak kecil lagi dimana setiap orang akan memperlakukanku sesuai kenyataan
aku bukan anak kecil lagi dimana setiap orang tahu aku tidak akan menangis kalau mereka berbuat demikian
aku bukan anak kecil lagi yang akan menyalahkan keadaan terhadap yang terjadi padaku
aku bukan anak kecil lagi dimana aku harus hadapi semuanya dengan kepala tegak
aku bukan anak kecil lagi
aku akan hadapi semuanya.

I say a quiet prayer
I ask you for my shelter
No one here that strong enough to become my shelter
Lonely, no ray shine this time
To rules my way

There’s no need my self to surprised my self
For this noxiousness
I’m between the beetle and the block

I can’t see where do the people run
I didn’t know, if the world have became so frightened

Guardian please put me in your shelter
Only you can surprise me
And set the river on fire

By put me in your shelter
To see, where the river-mouth
To land my feet

Please

I can’t see why do the people happy
I don’t know why I’m so mad

I don’t know why do I have to smile
I can’t see why do the people so happy

Tuhan,
aku ingin meminjam catatanku
dari malaikat yang ada di samping kiri dan kananku
aku ingin tahu buku sebelah kanan atau kirikah yang paling banyak berisi halamannya

Tuhan,
walaupun aku berharap buku sebelah kiriku masih tipis,
tapi aku tahu, mungkin dosaku lebih banyak dari amalku.
Apakah itu berarti catatan sebelah kananku lebih tipis lagi ?
satu halamankah ?
ataukah hanya baru beberapa paragraf?

Tuhan,
aku ingin meminjam catatanku
aku ingin melihat apa saja dosa yang membuat kesat hatiku
aku juga ingin melihat apa saja kebaikan-kebaikan yang kulakukan
kebaikan yang dapat mengurangi kesat dihatiku

kalau boleh Tuhanku,
Tolong juga Engkau selipkan
catatan-catatan kecil pada catatanku
amal apa yang benar adanya kulakukan
amal apa yang kulakukan untukMu, bukan karena orang lain
sehingga aku bisa memperbaiki catatanku

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
langit mulai kelam

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
dan
mereka terus berjalan

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
dan
katak pun sudah keluar dari tempurung

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
dan
mereka telah mulai berlari

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
selalu melihat kebelakang

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
dan malampun hening

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
dan
hari ini adalah esok dari kemarin

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
melihat semua berlari

kenyataanya
aku masih disini
menjadi penonton setia

kenyataannya
aku masih disini
dan
mereka sudah melantunkan senandung pelepas penat

kenyataannya
aku masih di sini
dan
ohh..
sungguh lagu yang indah

kenyatannya
aku masih disini
dan
berbicara
berlagu
esok aku akan seperti
ini.

Förvirrad, övergiven, sviken, frustrerad, otillräcklig. När ska jag få höra glada ord surra inom mig. Allting har lösts upp. Det var nog bara en liten bubbla, ett tillfälligt tillstånd som inte skulle vara. Mitt liv började soligt men traumatiskt. Det fortsatte med ensamhet i ett kallt land. Övergiven och sen utnyttjad. Jag passade aldrig in någonstans och flöt mellan olika världar. Mellan verklighet och dröm, mellan svenskt och thailändskt, mellan vanlig och konstig. jag var aldrig som dom. Uppvuxen men fortfarande med sår inombords träffar jag likasinnade som är lika trasiga. Relationerna blir svåra men det hade inte kunnat vara på något annat sätt. Jag kämpar med en hopplöshet som gör mig pralyserad och introvärt.  Ingen brys sig ändå,  varför ska jag försöka, varför ska jag förstå? Jag har fått en gåva som också är en förbannelse. Älska ditt öde och gör det bästa utav det. Det är din väg i livet och ta inget för givet.

I den ensama natten vaggar jag mig till sömns . Hoppas. Önskar och Tror…. att allt nog blir bra tillslut.

Exmo. Sr. Investigador da Conspiração
Rua dos Blogs e Sites Refundas
00351 – Portugal

Venho por este meio questioná-lo sobre a sua essência. Sobre a essência da sua verdade e da sua vida. Não é minha intensão desacreditá-lo nem tornar a sua verdade mentira. Nem sequer dar a minha opinião sobre tal. Apenas pergunto o quanto cresceu, o quanto a verdade que procura tornou-se luz para uma vida melhor, mais estável e tranquila. Com o tempo apercebi-me que qualquer guerra que travamos é uma guerra com nós próprios e que se a paz reinar em nós reinará em nosso redor.

Gostava de saber se tirou tempo para pensar nas suas palavras, para pensar nos seus pensamentos e nas suas ideias. Gostava de saber o quão activo está em tornar-se calmo. Porque passivo não significa apático nem inactivo, a meu ver, e sobre este assunto. Passivo poderá apenas querer dizer um olhar para o interior. Não para os problemas externos mas para os próprios desiquilíbrios. Para mim a grande pergunta resume-se a quem somos nós quando nada nos rodeia. Mas é tão difícil desnudarmo-nos hoje em dia, quase impossível diria. Num mundo onde nada parece ser verdade, onde estarão os pilares para suportar o nosso Ser?

Corremos para a desumanização, concorda? Onde as dúvidas preenchem o nosso dia, onde as pessoas se afastam e escondem-se nas diferenças. E afastam-se mesmo no sentido literal. Mas o que significa essa desumanização? Que julgamento imperial impomos nós a nós próprios, quando nós somos nós próprios e qualquer separação é desfuncional?

Mas a questão que deixo para si, uma vez mais; o que se manteve igual no seu ser desde que começou a brandar aos ventos desesperado? Desde que usou os gritos como desculpa para um estado psicológico talvez sempre escondido. Voltaria a trás, mudaria a sua morada, ou sublinhava-a na caixa do correio?

Uma dia, quando tenha tempo, o tempo de que você é criador,
talvez possa responder-me.

Atenciosamente,

João Teixeira

Time alone heals, counting ticks of the clock…
A year gone by, since they entered through the dock…
They came, they surrounded, they fired…
They took away as many lives, as they desired…

I still remember the day, to the idiot box we did glue…
Of when it would end, how many would survive, we had no clue…
I sincerely hope that no such incidents will occur…
No neighbor, no terrorism, henceforth makes us suffer…

I wonder if we can re-wind the time…
To paint a different picture altogether, so sublime…
One with no pain, no terror, no nothing…
One with peace, love, growth and no uprising!!

A moment of silence, we offer to all the lives cost…
And a piece of advice to the offenders, just get lost…
To the ones who sacrificed for others, we offer our humble tributes…
Fellow citizens at Mumbai, for showing us how to move on..heartfelt salutes…

*********************************************************************

It’s been a year since the 11/26 terror attacks took place at several locations in Mumbai. The guts of the people who conspired against India are worth condemning…they were cowards who attacked and killed innocent people just for some kind of false faith they were made to believe in. No religion or faith in the world preaches voilence and hatred. The young men who came in as terror faces were no doubt brainwashed, so much that common sense failed to prevail in them…
It feels sad to see the state of our judiciary, in which we all (seem to) have immense faith…it’s been a year now and they still seem to argue over the nationality and blood group of the lone terrorist caught…that I sometimes chuckle, at the thought that they are conducting more of a matrimonial enquiry for him rather than a judicial one.
Some people do bakwaas about ‘Mumbai not belonging to India’ and all that but then those very folks were scribbling in the comforts of their homes while the aam junta were making “Saamna” of the situation at hand….anyways, kudos to the spirits of Mumbaikars who once again braved against all odds in successfully facing the idiosyncrasies that life had in offer for them.

“E a morte e o inferno foram lançados no lago de fogo. Esta é a segunda morte.” Apocalipse 20:14 Bíblia

“Um Fogo foi preparado para os infiéis, cujo combustível são homens e pedras.” 2:24 Corão

Os ímpios serão lançados no inferno, e todas as nações que se esquecem de Deus. Salmos 9:17 Bíblia

Os descrentes serão queimados com Fogo. 2:39, 90 Corão

A língua também é um fogo; como mundo de iniqüidade, a língua está posta entre os nossos membros, e contamina todo o corpo, e inflama o curso da natureza, e é inflamada pelo inferno. Tiago 3:6 Bíblia

Aqueles que morrem na descrença irão para sempre arder no Fogo. 2:217 Corão

“E, se a tua mão direita te escandalizar, corta-a e atira-a para longe de ti, porque te é melhor que um dos teus membros se perca do que seja todo o teu corpo lançado no inferno.” Mateus 5:30 Bíblia

Aqueles que casarem com infiéis irão arder no Fogo. 2:221 Corão

“E, se o teu olho te escandalizar, arranca-o, e atira-o para longe de ti; melhor te é entrar na vida com um só olho, do que, tendo dois olhos, seres lançado no fogo do inferno.”Mateus 18:9 Bíblia

Aqueles que não acreditam serão vencidos e reunidos no Inferno. 3:12 Corão

“E, se o teu pé te escandalizar, corta-o; melhor é para ti entrares coxo na vida do que, tendo dois pés, seres lançado no inferno, no fogo que nunca se apaga” Marcos 9:45 Bíblia

O Fogo está preparado para os infiéis. 3:131 Corão

“Mas eu vos mostrarei a quem deveis temer; temei aquele que, depois de matar, tem poder para lançar no inferno; sim, vos digo, a esse temei.” Lucas 12:5 Bíblia

E agora oiçam o que o bom senso e o método científico têm para dizer sobre o fogo:

“Se alguém nos diz que vamos arder no inferno e demonstrarmos exactamente o que o fogo é, eu garanto-vos que vos dirão que o fogo no inferno não é como o fogo normal. Que as chamas não necessitam de combustível ou oxigénio ou electrões ou fotões. Dizem-nos que é fogo mágico.”

“A religião apenas existe porque a maioria das crianças acreditam na magia e porque todos os adultos já foram crianças. Bem vindos à religião organizada, onde tudo não significa nada e onde nada significa tudo. One o conhecimento é ignorância e onde respostas apenas nos levam à confusão” – philhellenes

A religião organizada irá lavar o vosso cérebro e condicionar-vos irremediavelmente.

Giordano Bruno -queimado vivo pela igreja católica em 1600, usando chamas reais, presumivelmente porque temiam que Deus fizesse um trabalho desleixado.

Philhellenes -Queimado na outra noite por um pedaço de queijo, e sempre feliz por não viver em 1600.

Mas o que é o fogo?

O fogo é uma reacção química requerendo 3 componentes, um gás oxidante tal como oxigénio, uma fonte combustível, como madeira ou gasolina e uma fonte de energia suficiente para aquecer o combustivel até à sua temperatura de ignição. Esta energia pode provir de fósforos, luz solar, fricção, relâmpagos, ou de outra coisa que já está a arder. Quando a madeira, por exemplo, é aquecida até 150 ºC o material celulósico começa a decompor-se e a soltar gases voláteis. Quando este gases atingem 260ºC a energia calorífica ultrapassa alguma da energia electromagnética ligando os átomos às moléculas complexas encontradas na madeira. As moléculas começam a oscilar e a entrar em rotura. Isto liberta fumo, um composto gasoso composto principalmente por átomos de hidrogénio, carbono e oxigénio. Estes átomos brevemente livres são depois quase repentinamente e violentamente atraídos entre si novamente por forças electromagnéticas. Como resultado combinam-se átomos de hidrogénio e carbono com átomos de oxigénio ansiosos por partilhar 1 ou 2 electrões desemparelhados que tenham. Esta reconfiguração ocorre quase instantaneamente.

O fogo é essencialmente uma breve e fugaz liberdade química em que átomos e moléculas se rearranjam rapidamente nas forma menos energéticas e portanto mais estáveis que for possível.

Mas a história deste vídeo não acaba aqui…

Este vídeo foi marcado como inapropriado para o youtube por vários utilizadores. Só que fez-se justiça pois a administração do site reconheceu a injustiça após ter apagado o vídeo. Hoje o autor encoraja todos os que queiram, a copiar e a fazer upload para os seus próprios canais deste vídeo intitulado “Why Don’t Scientists Fear Hell?”.

É curioso que este vídeo tenha merecido uma reacção tão violenta dos fanáticos, sociopatas, censores religiosos dos nossos dias acima de tantos outros.

Por isso é que dá mais gozo ao seu autor e também a mim que seja promovido, apreciado e aplaudido por quem o saiba apreciar

“É uma prova de base de mentes fracas para um querer pensar com massas e a maioria, meramente porque a maioria é a maioria. A verdade não muda por ela ser ou não acreditada pela maioria das pessoas.”

Aqui fica mais um vídeo do mesmo autor, posso dizer que apresenta ideias poderosas:

referências:

http://www.youtube.com/user/philhellenes

http://www.evilbible.com/

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/quran/cruelty/long.html

http://www.bibliaonline.com.br/acf/s/*/inferno

I am heading home to Detroit for Thanksgiving, and client meetings.  Everyone in this business knows about winter in Detroit.  At least I have mom’s home cooking to look forward to.  On this trip, I will see ODE, Route One and (not confirmed yet) GMAC.  I am proposing to continue running my brainchild, the Provider Exchange Network.  Wish me luck!

11/15/09

“As soon as the coin in the coffer springs, the soul from purgatory springs.” I remember that from European History class my junior year of high school, and I found a way to throw the phrase “coin in coffer” into something! Yeah nerd-ness!

İETT`nin toplu ulaşım ücretlerine yaptığı yüzde 33′lük zam tartışılırken Büyükşehir Belediye`sinden metrobüs yolcularına müjde geldi.Yeni geliştirilen proje,mesafeye göre ücretlendirmeyi öngörüyor.Artık,Avrcılar`dan metrobüse binen bir yolcu , eğer Anadolu Yakasına geçmezse daha az para ödeyecek.

sex is underrated, nobody ever says that anymore
sure, sometimes id just like to have someone to hug
in the backseat of a taxi putra
on the way home, or out as luck would have it
but no luck ! the lights on those buildings are cold
theyve been cold for a while, as cold as the stars
that make up the constellations of sorrow
on my fingertips
long may they experience the electric softness
of the hair on your arm
but no such luck !
cause sex is underrated
and i never get it !

badai pasti berlalu, tapi kapan ?

sedan impala merah muda, memadu kasih di kapnya
vespa lambretta lambret segala

kancing copot dari dadamu, boleh kusimpan ?

malammalamjakartabanyakjinnya
gloriajeansdiblokmmalbeneranjualjinsgaya

Igåår i skolaan vaa niornaa på nån sak åå dee vaa sååe tråkigt utan deem dee händee inte ett  skit!! Jaa å min kompiss hade ass tråkigt man kundee inte haa tråkigaree!!  Jajaa dee ee ifa tillbaka nuuee;P Hade ass kul me dem idaa jaa åå min kompiss, åå sen kom läraren stöör nuue inte tjejernaa när dem försöker jobbaa;P jaa bara viie jobbar inte;P Åå sen blev han värstaa sur;P

Vou transcrever a notícia do Jornal I:

Uma mulher grávida de 34 semanas deu entrada ontem no Hospital da Cuf Descobertas, no Parque das Nações em Lisboa, segundo confirmou ao i fonte do Grupo José de Mello Saúde. A mulher foi vacinada na passada quinta-feira, dia 12, contra a Gripe A.

Garantiu ainda a mesma fonte que a “grávida encontra-se neste momento em trabalho de parto”.

A grávida deu entrada ontem no hospital e o feto encontrava-se já sem vida.

O i contactou o ministério da Saúde, mas até ao momento ainda não foi possível mais esclarecimentos sobre o caso.

Este não é um caso isolado. No passado domingo soube-se que uma grávida tinha perdido o feto, quatro dias depois de ter sido vacinada contra a gripe A, numa unidade hospitalar em Portalegre.

Uma relação que foi negada pelo próprio hospital ao afirmar que a autópsia realizada ao feto indicou que a morte foi provocada por alterações na circulação sanguínea.

Também Francisco George já tinha reagido, ao sublinhar que “a morte do feto foi uma coincidência temporal”, acrescentando que “todos os especialistas acreditam que não há relação entre a morte do feto e a vacina contra a gripe A que a mãe tomou”.

Fonte: Jornal I

Em 48 horas, dois fetos morreram dias depois de as mães terem sido vacinadas contra o vírus da gripe A, ambas grávidas de 34 semanas. Vão dizer que é coincidencia não?

Resta esperar pela conferencia de imprensa que a direcção do hospital onde isto sucedeu para saber-mos aquilo que os “manda-chuvas” nos irão querer mandar para os olhos.

Hoje nas minhas viagens pelo Google Reader dei com este post de OVigia. Achei bastante interessante o texto que O Vigia encontrou e partilhou com os seus leitores. Quero partilhar também com vocês. Para ler e pensar.

A Declaration of Separation

To The Governments & People of Earth:

We claim the right to exist, and we will defend it. We do not seek to overthrow anything. We do not seek to control anything. We merely wish to be left alone.
All we ever wanted was to live in peace with our friends and neighbors. For a long, long time we bore insults to our liberty; we took blows, we did what we could to avoid injury and we worked through the system to get the offenses to stop. That has now changed. We no longer see any benefit in working through the world’s systems. At some point, working within a system becomes cowardly and immoral; for us, that point has arrived. Regardless of the parties in power, their governments have continued to restrict, restrain and punish us. We hereby reject them all. We hereby withdraw from them all. We hold the ruling states of this world and all that appertains to them to be self-serving and opposed to humanity.
We now withdraw our obedience and reclaim the right to strike back when struck. We will not initiate force, but we do reserve the right to answer it. We did not choose this—it was forced upon us.

To The Governments of Earth:

You are building cages for all that is human. In the name of protection, you have intruded into all areas of human life, far exceeding the reach of any Caesar. You claim ultimate control of our property and our decisions, of our travels and even our identities. You claim ownership of humanity far beyond the dreams of any Emperor of any previous era. Understand clearly: We reject your authority and we reject your legitimacy. We do not believe that you have any right to do the things you do. You have massive power, but no right to impose it upon us and no legitimacy. We have forsaken you. We are no longer your citizens or your subjects.
Your systems are inherently anti-human, even if all their operators are not. We are not merely angry young people. We are fathers and mothers; aunts, uncles and grandparents; we are business owners and trusted employees; we are mechanics and engineers and farmers. We are nurses and accountants and students and executives. We are on every continent.
This is not a burst of outrage; this is a sober declaration that we no longer accept unearned suffering as our role in life.
For long decades we sat quietly, hoping that things would turn around. We took no actions; we suffered along with everyone else. But after having our limits pushed back again and again, we have given up on your systems.
If our fellow inhabitants of this planet wish to accept your rule, they are free to do so. We will not try to stop them. We, however, will no longer accept your constraints upon us. From now on, when you hurt us, we will bite back. If you leave us alone we will leave you alone and you can continue to rule your subjects. We are happy to live quietly. But if you come after us, there will be consequences.
You caused this because of your fetish for control and power. The chief men and women among you are pathologically driven to control everyone and everything that moves upon this planet. You have made yourselves the judge of every human activity. No god-king of the ancient world ever had the power that your systems do.
You have created a world where only the neutered are safe and where only outlaws are free.

To The People of Earth:

We seek nothing from you. We do not want to rule you and we do not want to control you. All we wish is to live on earth in peace. As always, we will be helpful neighbors and generous acquaintances. We will remain honest business partners and trustworthy employees. We will continue to be loving parents and respectful children.

We will not, however, be sacrificial animals. We reject the idea that others have a right to our lives and our property. We will not demand anything from you, and we will no longer acquiesce to any demands upon us. We have left that game. We reject all obligations to any person or organization beyond honesty, fair dealing and a respect for human life. We will shortly explain what we believe, but we are not demanding that you agree with us. All we ask is that you do not try to stop us. Continue to play the game if you wish; we will not try to disrupt it. We have merely walked away from it.We wish you peace.

To Those Who Will Condemn Us:

We will ignore you.
We welcome and seek the verdict of a just God, before whom we are willing to expose our innermost thoughts. Are you similarly willing?
We would stand openly before all mankind if it were not suicidal. Perhaps some day we will have to accept slaughter for our crime of independence, but not yet.
Your criticism and your malice are much deeper than mere disagreements of strategy or philosophy. You do not oppose our philosophy, you oppose our existence. Our presence in the world means that your precious ideals are false. Some of you would rather kill us than face the loss of your ideologies, just as those like you have either hated or killed every sufficiently independent human.
You present yourselves to the world as compassionate, tolerant and enlightened, but we know that your smooth words are costumes. Oh yes, we know you, servant of the state; don’t forget, we were raised with you. We played with you in the schoolyard, we sat next to you in the classroom. Some of us studied at the same elite universities. We watched as you had your first tastes of power. We were the boys and girls standing next to you. Some of us were your first victims. We are not fooled by your carefully crafted public image.

What We Believe:

#1: Many humans resent the responsibilities that are implied by consciousness. We accept those responsibilities and we embrace consciousness. Rather than letting things happen to us (avoiding consciousness), we accept consciousness and choose to act in our own interest. We do not seek the refuge of blaming others, neither do we take refuge in crowds. We are willing to act on our personal judgment, and we are willing to accept the consequences thereof.

#2: We believe in negative rights for all: That all humans should be free to do whatever they wish, as long as they do not intrude upon others; that no man has a right to the life, liberty or property of another; that we oppose aggression, fraud and coercion.

#3: We do not believe that our way of life, or any other, will make life perfect or trouble-free. We expect crime and disagreements and ugliness, and we are prepared to deal with them. We do not seek a strongman to step in and solve problems for us. We agree to see to them ourselves.

#4: We believe in free and unhindered commerce. So long as exchanges are voluntary and honest, no other party has a right to intervene—before, during or after.

#5: We believe that all individuals should keep their agreements.

#6: We believe that honestly obtained property is fully legitimate and absolute.

#7: We believe that some humans are evil and that they must be faced and dealt with. We accept the fact that this is a difficult area of life.

#8: We believe that humans can self-organize effectively. We expect them to cooperate. We reject impositions of hierarchy and organization.

#9: We believe that all humans are to be held as equals in all matters regarding justice.

#10: We believe that the more a man or woman cares about right and wrong, the more of a threat he or she is perceived to be by governments.

#11: We believe that there are only two true classes of human beings: Those who wish to exercise power upon others—either directly or through intermediaries—and those who have no such desires.

#12: Large organizations and centralization are inherently anti-human. They must rely upon rules rather than principles, treating humans within the organization as obedient tools.

Our Plans:

We are building our own society. We will supplement traditional tools with networking, cryptography, sound money, digital currency and anonymous messaging.
Our society will not be centrally controlled. It will rely solely on voluntary arrangements. We welcome others to join us. We are looking for people who are independent creators of value, people who act more than talk, and people who do the right thing because it is the right thing.
We will develop our own methods of dealing with injustice, built on the principles of negative rights, restitution, integrity and equal justice. We do not forbid anyone from having one foot in each realm—ours and the old realm—although we demand that they do no damage to our realm. We are fully opposed to any use of our realm to facilitate crime in the old realm, such as the hiding of criminal proceeds.

We expect to be loudly condemned, libeled and slandered by the authorities of the old regime. We expect them to defend their power and their image of legitimacy with all means available to them. We expect that many gullible and servile people will believe these lies, at least at first.
We will consider traps laid for us to be criminal offenses. Any who wish to join us are encouraged to distribute this declaration, to act in furtherance of our new society, to voluntarily excel in virtues and to communicate and cooperate with other members of the new society.
Free, unashamed men cannot be ruled.

We are The Free and The Unashamed.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Peço desculpa por não ter traduzido o texto, uma questão que terá de ficar para outro dia.

E aqui fica uma imagem que achei engraçada, e que começo a concordar cada vez mais.

Guy Fawkes Mask

Ode an den Mann

Mann. Du bist so derbe.
Es wuchert dein Bart
in männlicher Art.
Du bist so derbe, Mann.

Rülpsen tust du ungehemmt
du kackst aus dem Darm
und stark ist dein Arm.

Bier macht dir Freude
und Frauen machen dich noch männlicher,
selbst wenn sie schwanger werden,
aber das ist ein anderes Thema.

Dein Leben ist so schön einfach
du trinkst Bier
du verteilst deinen Samen
du trinkst Bier

Wenn du nicht Bier trinkst
oder deinen Samen verteilst
dann kämpfst du mit anderen Männern.
Dann trinkst du Bier.

Dichten kannst du sehr gut.
Mann. Oh Mann.

I keep coming back to the saying of the Guardian’s legendary editor C.P. Scott and his words as I love the simple manner in which it defines the job of a journalist: Comment is free, but facts are sacred. The fact is not a matter of interpretation. It makes no difference to the fact whether you face it or you avoid it; the fact is just the fact. This post is dedicated to a simple man who lives with the fact.

My 88-year-old uncle, K.C. Tewari, has limitless attention, not a single problem and a face that conveys without a word immense love, understanding and concern. He is the husband of my mother’s eldest and only sister. His life has been quite eventful; six children, 3 boys, 3 girls, all of them married and all having growing up children. The eldest son is about 58. My uncle had a pretty senior government job, and all his children were married after he retired. He is not one of those old men who get together in the park and discuss a lot of things, he is quite happy on his own. He neither seeks company nor does he avoid it. Everyone faces the fact, one has to; but to live with it is quite another matter.

I have seen only one in my life. To quote a 20th century philosopher, “Is there a basic duality at the very core or, does duality arise only when the mind moves away from ‘what is’?” You have pain in your stomach, that is the fact, and the process of thought that there was no pain yesterday or will not be tomorrow is duality. My uncle is always with ‘what is’. I admire him, and on very cold and stormy days I just go and sit by his side for a while, his warmth is enough to heal. I don’t have what he has and I don’t even try because any comparison is an even bigger movement away from the fact.

Perhaps that is the reason that he has never carried any problem in his life despite having a multitude of them over the years. When death and tragedy and the inevitable suffering that most people get caught in came to his doorstep and in the lives of his children then that was the fact. When all that passed and the Sun came out on a bright new day then that became the reality. You can’t fight with him because he is beyond conflict and it’s not possible to drag him into one. It is tough to be with the only thing that exists, which is this moment in which you might be rich or poor, happy or miserable, lonely or ‘absolutely whole and alone’ like my uncle.

I am told that he did his work with a lot of care and he was a man of few words. He now speaks a little more than when he was young. Sometimes you can see him looking at the dictionary because he might have seen a new word in the newspaper. He loves to watch football. His handwriting is so beautiful and so clear, that each and every alphabet is worth looking at. And there is a lot of his written work available as after he retired and even before it there was always someone or the other that he was teaching.

He made all the college notes of his youngest daughter and then must be for five or six grandchildren after that. Before he had retired he would teach Hemraj; a servant in the house who was very interested in getting educated. Hemraj cleared his 12th standard, and I don’t know how many man hours my uncle devoted everyday after work for more than six years. Hemraj now runs a successful motor repair shop in my hometown of Mandi; he always comes to meet whenever my uncle is visiting. My uncle must be sitting in his house right now with ‘what is’. You can talk about the past with him; he has a great memory it’s just that he is not stuck there.

He was close to dying twice, but when he survived there was no thinking of that time because he was all attentive to the now. According to him there is no problem with the fact; while there are all sorts of problems in escaping it. He is a man of action and needs no activity. My uncle is very frugal with money but is blessed with the generosity of the heart. And at 88 he takes care of quite a lot.

As such things cannot be inherited the children have the DNA but not even one of the qualities that he has in abundance. He is full of life; and has a dignity that is so easily visible yet difficult to describe as it is not linked to a position, title or any tangible material accumulations. He must have seen me as an infant but my memory of him goes back to when I must have been six or seven years old. The pleasure of his regular company started when I began my first job in Delhi and lived in my uncle’s home initially. It was home not just to me but for many of my journalist friends in the initial years.

The cover of security had to be broken and the temptations of the world at 22 had a gravitational pull that I never thought was worth resisting. So first with friends and then alone slowly I settled in the city and would meet my uncle with irregular regularity. One day and I don’t remember when; just like the last scene of the movie The Sixth Sense my memory of him went all the way back after a thought crossed my mind.

My uncle was never caught in the process of becoming and all the strife that goes with it; he always had the joy of simple being. Some things cannot be planned, they just happen. Becoming can never know being; becoming is psychological effort and being is effortless. A man is either simple or not and there is no way of becoming simple. The only possibility here is to realise one’s complexity and the mind may stumble upon the simplicity that takes all the worries of life away.

He is a wise man and, therefore, many a times just says a word or two to change the course of a life he cares for if it is going sideways. More than that my uncle lets everyone go his or her way and never interferes as he probably understands what the Hermann Hesse novel Siddhartha talks about: Knowledge can be transferred but wisdom is incommunicable. He doesn’t read fiction or non-fiction so the sentence for him is a statement I wrote as it seems to be true in his case.

If anyone has the desire to see a man who is completely unscarred by 88-years of life, I can arrange for that. My only request is just observe simply without making him feel strange, he is rare but otherwise normal; I am pretty sure you will have a good time if you are one of those who love the facts of life.

I remember how you used to be
Keeping an eye on me so cautiously
You  used to sing to me everyday
How could I disobey
I was afraid of you
Cause that’s what daughters do
I was born in May
On a beautiful sunny day
I was a gift to you both
If only you then would know
What a pain in the ass I could be
The heartbreaks I would bring the family
We all know what a great fan grandma is of me
And it’s mostly my fault, I believe
No matter her harsh words
I am still your baby girl
You have taught me well, I must say
I turned out to be quite okay

brother
second son closing the circle
blood of my blood
you were my first doppelganger
and though I your elder
much did I learned from you
shorter of stature
and someone to look up to
I am proud of you
a beautiful tapestry
cut from the same cloth
knowing mom, she cut the bolt in equal halves
the best she had was ours
with blue Lithuanian blood
and spicy Sicilian disposition
you are vintage ‘82 a meritage
as you grow in flavor and complexity
temper your strength
I will be there
no matter what
as we play ambassadors of our ilk
side by side, my late arrived twin