In the drawing, this man looks a lot older than in real life. Mind you, he was pretty tired, so who’s to say?

Buy this drawing at Etsy

How this for loyal fans?

NY office workers got a lil too caught up in the moment, during the Yankees victory parade Friday.  These fools got so excited -”overzealous”?-, that when they ran out of confetti, they started tossin files and documents out the window like it was nuthin’!

People attending the Manhatten parade, including an auditor, reported that they found all kinds of people’s personal financial info in the mountains of shredded paper n’ shyt that was tossed, as the players rode down Broadway.   Shyte like paystubs, bank data, law firm memos, and even entire court files.

After we get pass the “cuteness”, and the level of loyalty these ‘fans’ possess, I’ma be mad, if any of that shyt was mine! 

All the  CEO’s of these firms need, is a lawsuit from someone who’s info had fallen into the hands of some observant con-man, who wasn’t the honest lil auditor…

Nothing to do with Michael Jackson. This is a slightly more representative drawing than that captured in a previous post. I’ve sketched this lady a few times. She frequently sits beside another woman – also an avid reader.

Because they’re so important to us and to our creating a positive experience for our customers, we’ll let a few members of our staff introduce themselves. Today we’d like to introduce systems administrator, Murder Face (Swellco & Swellco 77613h).

Always the office crack up, that's Murder Face.

When Murder Face joined Swellco & Swellco in 2008, she wanted to work in a challenging, fast-paced environment and be part of an exciting company on the leading edge of sinister mind control practices. Well, she got her wish. And it doesn’t hurt that, according to Murder Face, blood sacrafice rocks. For Murder Face, working here brings new and exciting challenges every day. Murder Face spent the last 5 years in a mental hospital in New Jersey where she ate pudding. Prior to that she slept in a Baltimore ditch and battled trolls for a year. Murder Face has also gained significant technology experience working for Rackspace Managed Hosting in San Antonio as a Linux System Administrator and at Lockheed Martin’s Consolidated Space Operations Contract at the Johnson Space Center as a Jr. System Administrator. She loves soft cheese, stepping on cockroaches and line dancing. Also, during her day off, she stalks high school boys as human prey.

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Peak hour. Chaos everywhere. Not a bother. Pity about what I did to his right hand though…

A little worse for wear, after a busy week. He wasn’t the only one. Felt obliged to wake the guy when the train terminated (payback for being such a good model). Not sure if he made it off the train before it shunted off into the terminus…

A group of little girls aged five or six was in the changing rooms at the gymnasium this morning. They were with their teacher for swimming lessons. One little girl went to the toilet and the lock on the door wasn’t working. She shouted out for one of her mates to hold the door.

Her little mate called back from the changing area, ‘I can’t hold the door, I’m getting changed.’

The girl in the toilet shouted for her next mate to hold the door. The second little mate called back, ‘I can’t hold the door, I’m getting changed too.’

The next instant a third little mate shouts, ‘And if I’m next in line to hold the door, I can’t either. We’re all getting changed.’ 

Now that’s what I’d call pre-emptive! Makes me feel ashamed to be such a mealy-mouth where I work.

Man in suit = sausage roll and dispair

ECCO Shoes: Which Style is Right for You?

http://www.thepinkladyshoes.com

on this site you can fine .

It appears that the manufacturer of ECCO shoes have crafted their line of footwear with the family in mind. Their product line is as versatile as the temperaments and hobbies of each member of the family.

http://www.thepinkladyshoes.com

I’ve just bought the new issue of Artrocker – a fine rag indeed! This is what they had to say about My First Tooth…

“Enjoying the same sandpapered finish as Beirut and Bon Iver, My First Tooth and the Rubies EP makes you wish for a front porch, a sunset and a song of your own to sing, that could match Honesty Honestly for it’s beauty.

Typewriters almost replicates its namesake rythmically whilst it is steeped in honey-thick violin and melodies that reach for the open road.

Oak cured alt-country“

Lovely bit of writing – thanks Martyn Boyle!

Now I’m off to get drunk with some folks from the real world. I imagine, as bank holiday approaches, that the bars will be filled with mega-c**ts on their annual ‘one day out of the year’, dressed to the nines (possibly even tens), shovelling down wine like it was water and crying/vomiting/screaming about some long lost office argument at around 8pm – before having their soiled bodies thrown into a cab by fat co-workers.. and spending the rest of the weekend in bed, hoping they won’t be sacked on Tuesday.

Know good Alcopoppers – that I can guarantee none of these folk will own an Alcopop release, let alone think a crocodile on a skateboard is cool. In fact they probably think that Fierce Panda would be a public nuisance, and that Moshi Moshi is a dubious dish they buy from the Chinese takeaway of an evening.

In other words – you’re bloody ace… Know this

A frustrated office worker learns that he is the son of a professional assassin, and that he shares his father’s superhuman killing abilities.

Youku

Jag är förkyld. Det är jobbigt. Kan inte somna. Tänker nog stanna hemma från skolan imorgon, eller ja idag. Klockan är ju tidigt på morgonen. Jävla skit. Men det blir nog bra med en dags sovande så blir jag kanske frisk snabbt.

Jag hade tappat ner sladden till min iPod bakom min hylla, så jag flyttade på min stora väska som står bredvid, ställde mig på knä och lirkade in huvudet bakom. Sladden låg mycket riktigt där, så jag tog ut den, men jag hittade något mer också. Ihopsatta med ett gem, elva stycken flashcards med engelska jobbtitlar. De tre i titeln plus: musician, police officer, translator, chef, flight attendant, detective, vet och teacher.

Det är inte mina flash cards. Det är nog killen som bodde här innan som glömde de, eller killen innan honom. Kan ju ha varit en tjej också, visst, men jag brukar få post till ett par-tre olika kill-namn, män jag antar flyttat från landet eller någon annan stans inom Japan och inte orkat säga till om adressändring till alla som skickar brev. Typ banker och universitet och liknande. Det har hänt att jag öppnat brev, men det har aldrig varit något intressant (typ pengar eller nakenbilder) så jag brukar mest lämna de ovanpå brevlådan för att sakta smulas sönder av regn nu för tiden. Skulle vilja göra det med de brev som kommer adresserade till mig också (räkningar), men jag tycker om att leva med varmt vatten, gas och elektricitet. På tal om det förresten, på vattenräkningarna står det “water and sewage comsumption”, men hur fan håller de koll på hur mycket sewage jag håller på med? Mäter de hur mycket jag spolar ut? Väger de mitt bajs? Det är frågor som dessa som gör det ännu svårare att sova nätter som denna, som att inte förkylningen räckte.

Men jag tappar tråden, tillbaka till flash cardsen. Jag undrar om personen som gjorde de själv studerade engelska eller lärde ut. Jag lutar nästan mot att det var en lärare, då baksidan av korten är tomma, utan översättning på valfritt konstigt språk. Det är spännande i alla fall, tycker jag, kanske inte egentligen då det bara är papper med random ord på, men jo det är spännande ändå. Att liksom hitta något som någon man inte känner eller ens träffat suttit och pysslat med, klippt i bitar och satt mellan gem. Det skulle ju vara roligare att hitta en glömd dagbok eller nått, det är sant, men jag tar det jag hittar och gör det bästa av det.

Av yrkena på korten är musician det självklara valet för mig, men jag lekte faktiskt detektiv en jävla massa när jag var liten. Har skrivit en sång om det till och med. Så det är väl de två, antar jag. Annars vet jag inte, office worker låter ju som det tråkigaste någonsin men det beror väl på vilket kontor man jobbar.

Polis blir jag nog aldrig heller, ser bara mig själv tvingas leda några jävla nazister genom stan och det gör mig lite illamående. Detektiv är ju inte samma sak, liksom, detektiver kan ju fan bryta lite mot lagen ibland om det krävs för att lösa gåtan, sätta dit jäveln som gjort det. Jobba från sitt eget initiativ och inte sina polischefer, kunna stå för det man har gjort som något man själv valt för att man trodde det var rätt och inte för att man fick en order. Jag vet inte riktigt om detektiver finns på riktigt som jag drömt att de gör, typ Sherlock Holmes fast lite mera badass, men vafan, musiker som lever på sin musik finns ju knappt heller nu för tiden. I alla fall inte många som gör musik värd att lyssna på. Och att leva på att göra dålig musik, nä då jobbar jag nog hellre på kontor på dagen istället och lirar gura på natten.

Image: 43-00517756
Title:  “Illustration of teachers holding books”
Contributor: Thorvis               

Why we like it:  It’s “Back to School” time here in the States so Thorvis’ cool blue tiled vector illustration of a man holding a document is a good find.

The color palette is great – the blue tones manage to look fresh and modern while simultaneously giving off a cool retro vibe. I also really like the stencil quality to this illustration – it really stands out as the kind of graphic art you might find on a hand printed poster.

 This kind of illustration will work well for use in education settings (the dude has a teacherly feel), but also in generic office usages.

Nice work Thorvis!

 What do you think?

- Brian

* Yes, I know that these curves could not be placed in the same plane because they have different Y axis. Also you can see that I drew some curves under X axis. It is not a mistake. It’s just for fun. Please do not be serious. It is not a mathmatics class. ;o)

In reaction to the Supreme Court decision that a death penalty sentence for someone convicted of raping a child amounts to cruel and unusual punishment, who said this, John McCain or Barak Obama?

“I disagree with the decision. I have said repeatedly that I think that the death penalty should be applied in very narrow circumstances for most egregious of crimes. I think that the rape of a small child, six or eight years old is a heinous crime, and if a state makes a decision that under narrow, limited, well-defined circumstances, the death penalty is at least potentially applicable.”

And who dis?

“That there is a judge anywhere in America who does not believe that the rape of a child represents the most heinous of crimes, which is deserving of the most serious of punishments, is profoundly disturbing.”

First was Obama, second McCain. <a href=”All but interchangeable. I’m surprised that Obama, supposedly reluctant supporter of the death penalty, would be so unequivocal about the decision, but Digby, an Alternet.org blogger, expressed why Obama’s statement is unsettling better than I could:

“Hey, I guess that’s what makes it a nice political freebie. A chance to side with Scalia and Roberts without any consequences is a welcome gift when you are trying to shed the liberal label. I get that. But I don’t see how that is good for the country. With a corrupt and imperfect legal system run by members of the human species, we shouldn’t be executing anyone.”

some crap: Dream Responses to Stupid Office Drone Queries
But — because I need to get to the gym — let’s turn our attention, however briefly, to the dumb bullshit and bitter rantings that I think people look forward to in my blogs. What follows are the dumb questions I’m frequently subjected to and how I wish I could answer.

How was your weekend?
It sucked, how was yours? You know why I want to answer this way? Because no one really fucking wants to know. Why waste our time, filling the air with idle chitchat? Once, I believe, in response to “Did you have a good weekend?” I said “No. I moved” and the person looked kind of bewildered at this unexpected response, like it was rude of me to answer honestly. If you don’t want to know, and you clearly don’t, don’t fucking ask.

Ready for the weekend?
No, there is so much more work I want to do, I’m so fucking pissed it’s Friday, I can’t even tell you. I would give anything — ANYTHING — for it to be Tuesday right now. Fucking goddamn weekends!

You know we’re meeting right now, right?
Yes, of course I know it’s “meeting time,” which is another annoying thing they say that makes me cringe, but frankly, I’m not done IMing my friends griping about the boring fucking meeting I’m about to sit through so why don’t you get the fuck out of here and let me complain in peace. Thank you.

Whatcha working on?
Oh, I’m emailing friends in between IMing and checking my blog stats like a big fucking dork, if you’re really interested. You can see what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing, as it’s spread out in front of my face, so why are you asking?

My boss is ok and everything, but I hate being micromanaged. Get out.

Everyone needs to give me $15 for [yet another] shower gift/baby gift/blah blah blah. And then there’s a [mandatory] birthday lunch for the boss, blah blah blah….
Notice there’s no question mark at the end of that one. Because I’m not given a choice. One woman here had a baby and although she was my favorite, the gift collection grift for her friggin baby were fucking overwhelming. We had a shower lunch (I think two), a shower gift, a gift for when the baby actually popped out, AND a christmas gift for the new baby, a comforting “new mommy” gift basket, it just fucking went on and ON. Even the recipient said to me that her husband commented, “damn, your coworkers are crazy!” at our overzealous gifting. Indeed they are.

I guess it’s hard to explain why it enrages me so when a co-worker asks these things, but it really does. I’ve been working in offices now for years, this one, by far the most anal, for a little over two. And I’m already sick of the fucking birthday cakes under the flourescent conference room glare, the goddamn birthday cards passed around (when I first started working here, I couldn’t get over the printed checklist with everyone’s name on it that accompanied every card, the birthday gal or guy’s name carefully crossed off)

I am likely not making any sense so I’d better go. The sheep are returning from grazing and I prefer if no one knows exactly what time I leave for lunch.

I’ll leave you with this awesome new game that unfortunately is a fake. My friend was crestfallen when he tried to order and found out it was a joke. Worth checking out anyway: super pii pii game.

So ein Büroalltag kann einen schon ganz schön mürbe machen. So wie diesen amerikanischen Angestellten, der komplett ausrastet und das schöne Großraumbüro in Einzelteile zerlegt. An einem unterdurchschnittlichen Montagmorgen könnte einem so etwas schonmal passieren.

Wenn man sich hier die zweite Perspektive anschaut und die Securities mit den Elektroschockern, dann hat man schnell das Gefühl, dass das vielleicht doch kein Fake ist. Oder?