ps, I am manifesting writing for Oprah and being on SuperSoulSunday. If you tweet, please tweet @oprah and @owntv that @jenpastiloff should be in their family or something like that. I love you Tribe. Watch. Me. Do. This.

We know that The Secret isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea… but we truly believe in the Law of Attraction here at dont4get2smile2day. The changes we have seen in our lives are truly phenomenal! Enjoy!

It’s the feature article in the latest issue of her magazine.  And it is a true disappointment.

If she’s gardening, I’d like to know how she keeps her manicure perfect, her make up from streaming down her face and her bright yellow (and very expensive) togs clean.

I garden.  When I garden, I get dirty.  My face ends up streaked with dirt.  My fingernails look like I’ve spent the morning digging for coal instead of digging dirt.  And my clothes have to come off before I come into the house.

And unless one has an absolute army of people to help keep the rows and plants weed free, the organic gardeners I know, including me, use lots of organic mulch — grass clippings, straw, chopped leaves — to keep the veggies happy and health.

Is her concept laudable?  Yes.  Hawaiians import far too much food and eat far too many foods that are not good for them.

Could Oprah be an organic gardener and grow her own food?  Sure, but should she  advertise that she is when about all she does is show up and hold a big butt radish now and again?

I love it when celebrities finally jump into a cause — healthy eating, green living, eco-whatever.  But I really wish celebrities would realize that the rest of us — people around the world who are and have been, “…growing their own food” are not going to be fooled by pictures of them mincing along a row with a wheelbarrow of food that someone else planted, tended and quite probably, harvested.

My organic gardening book is about to be released.  My organic gardening blog of the same name – Grow So Easy; Organic Gardening for the Rest of Us – is, literally, all about down and dirty gardening.

The blog and book are funny.  They’re a” how to” with a whole lot of stories tossed in about how I learned about organic gardening — mostly the hard way.  And I go out of my way to demystify organic gardening, making it easy, making it enjoyable and making it something that anyone can do without a lot of money, without a lot of hands on deck.

Anyone can grow their own food and have fun doing it.

In other words, you don’t have to be Oprah to grow your own food.  In fact, you’ll probably enjoy organic gardening more if you’re not!  Maybe Oprah should visit my back yard and see what a real organic gardener can do with two hands, seeds and dirt.

Oprah’s Maui Farm – Oprah on Growing Her Own Food – Oprah.com.

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. Try breathing through your nose.

6.  Is that a  Medic-Alert Pendant?

7. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

8. But whipped cream makes me break out.

9.  Person 1: This is your  first time..right?
Person 2: Yeah.. today

10. (in the Hotel/ Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

11. Can  you please pass me the remote control?

12. Do you accept Visa?

13. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

14. On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.

15. And to think- I  was really trying to pick up your friend!

16. So much for  mouth-to-mouth.

17. Hope you’re as good looking when I’m  sober…

18. Do you get any premium movie channels?

19. But I  just brushed my teeth…

20. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!

21.  I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

22. I want a baby!

23. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

24. I think you  have it on backwards.

25. When is this supposed to feel good?

26. Did you remember to take the pill?

27. Are you sure I don’t know you  from somewhere?

28. I wish we got the Playboy channel…

29. That leak better be from the  waterbed!

30. I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!

31. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..

32. No,  really… I do this part better myself!

33. It’s nice being in bed with  a woman I don’t have to inflate!

34. This would be more fun with a few  more people.

35. You’re almost as good as my ex!

36. Is that you  I smell or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

37. You look  younger than you feel.

38. Perhaps you’re just out of practice.

39. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

40. They’re not cracker  crumbs, it’s just a rash.

41. Now I know why he dumped you…

42. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

43. You give me reason to  conclude that foreplay is overrated.

44. What tampon?

45. Have  you ever considered liposuction?

46. And to think, I didn’t even have to  buy you dinner!

47. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

48. I have a confession…

49. Are those real or am I just behind the  times?

50. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

51.  You’ll still vote for me, won’t you?

52. Did I mention my transsexual  operation?

53. I really hate women who actually think sex means  something!

54. Did you come yet, dear?

55. I’ll tell you who I’m  fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about…

56. A  good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

57. Does this  count as a date?

58. Oprah Winfrey had a show about women like  you!

59. Hic! I need another beer for this please.

60. When  would you like to meet my parents?

61. Man: Maybe it would help if I  thought about someone I really like… Woman: Yourself?

62. (in a phone  booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

63. Sorry but I don’t  do toes!

64. You could at least ACT like you’re enjoying it!

65.  Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

66. Keep it down, my  mother is a light sleeper…

67. I’ll bet you didn’t know I work for  “The Enquirer”.

68. So that’s why they call you Ms. Flash!

69.  Hey, when is it going to be my friend’s turn?

70. Please understand  that I’m only doing this for a raise…

71. How long do you plan to be  “almost there”?

72. You mean you’re NOT my blind date?

I do love that sheltering feeling one gets when walking down through a tree tunnel. However, my whole front yard is already in shade due to our grand and stately oak tree (which is over 150 years old!) Because of all the shade, it is challenging to keep colorful flowering plants alive in my yard, and I love a colorful yard. The only place I can have color is on the periphery of my property which would be shaded had I planted one of those other trees. So, though my neighbors may have gotten a little annoyed with me for not following suit with the canopy trees, I am delighted to have this violet explosion once a year. And don’t worry, I’m on a corner, and the other half of my neighbors are quite happy with my decision as they all have Jacaranda trees too. So I fit in with the eastern half of our long street just not the western. Even my westerly neighbors have forgiven me as I explained my predicament to them. Communication…a simple thing…that’s all it takes. A few extra minutes of our lives to share our perspective and healing and love can grow.

absolutely no reason in sight but in heart. i am inspired to love. i am inspired to write. i am inspired to be free.

today on Super Soul Sunday the well known poet, Maya Angelou speaks. she speaks about God, she speaks about One, she speaks about All. She speaks about Spirit. i find myself on this spiritual journey to understand and learn my own  true purpose in life.

i was told by my therapist that life is a “school”…a school of learning ..a school of connecting.. a school of being. i didn’t understand her true meaning but on this rainy Sunday morning ,I get it.  i found myself going throughout life constantly resisting the inevitable which caused me to not really live in the moment…not really experience life and resist the desire to just “be”  while using all 5 senses-touch,taste, see,hear,smell to enjoy.

meditation,writing,art and this spiritual journey are those things that is  helping me stay grounded..helping me to be bold, fearless, let go, love, feel and be.

I wanted to be as honest with myself when writing and that means honesty to anyone that could be reading my post.

I did started a few past post. When I started to write what was going on in my life that day, I wasn’t able to share what was really happening inside of me and around me. So what did I do? I held back, I didn’t post what I was feeling, or I  stayed away from the blog.  In doing this… I now can see how I pull away from all when I am dealing with issues in my life and within me. When I was younger I would blabber to anyone that had an ear, a pity party for the victim. Now, I turned inward. I guess it’s not just a man thing. I think it was John Gray, that wrote …. a man goes into his man-cave. Believe me …A women can escape into her cave also….. equal opportunity.     When thinking of another word for a woman-cave, cave-et, cave-in. Cave-in. I just had an moment… breathe. I guess that word can mean a lot more than I had thought of before… cave-in.

I was writing daily, my thoughts and daily routines, strolling up and down the streets of Manhattan enjoying all around me, made changes in myself, my home, even added more beautiful colors around me, when BAM. I became frozen. I was hit hard, I am still having trouble writing it now.  Keep writing Belinda….. I had a huge rage of anger come over me. Let’s be honest – this rage was created from a build up of many little things and things that were dismissed by me and others.  I ended up saying things that were being held in, the lack of respect from those that I love, and a feeling of being taken advantage of was strong.  I was feeling empty inside, alone, sad, confused, hurt, fear, pain and that feeling that can paralyze me … the big one ….”Not knowing”. Every where I was turning, all was in the feeling of … not knowing. At first, I thought hey this is ok- I wasn’t alone, which helped me in some way, but as the weeks and then months continued with all around me,  it hit me …Hard.

What am I going to do with my the rest of my life? It seemed it was all around me.  I was sharing my not knowing, all started sharing with me, their Not knowing, what to do with their lives either. Careers slowing down so much that reality was starting to hit each of us …needing to find another career.  Starting classes again? Go back to school and do what? Go back with husbands? Take jobs that we never thought we would ever have to take? Can’t even get a job that you didn’t want in the first place?  Move out of the city or stay? Leave the state or stay? Relationship questions… leave or stay? Years without a mate , by healthy choices for some  and now feeling, the feeling of wanting to have connections with the perfect soul-mate. I recently hear and read these words… our twin heart soul-mate.

Your babies, not just babies any longer leaving for college, or can’t get into college, or how do we pay for college? or for those that never had children-questioning their choice, since they are without a husband or mate.  My friends, their parents around me were entering the hospital, needing home care, getting sicker, getting older out of no-where, and then the most painful to the one that is still living….Death of a Mom or Dad. The torn feeling of wanting them to go since they are in so much pain and then dealing with the thoughts of wanting the pain to go away for them. Meaning it had to be final for them- then dealing with their guilt and  their  loss.

I wanted to be more spiritually, to me that meant … more loving, understanding, always calm, no complaining about life, got it all together, patience, compassion,caring, gentle and not letting anything effect you with an of outburst of anger.  I thought I had myself more together, more composed… years of reading my self help  books, sessions with healers, attending group classes, seeing John of God, became a Reiki Master, started meditating, watching Super Soul Sunday’s with Oprah and Being grateful.  After weeks of being sick with many different issues coming up out of no where.. Especially around the eyes. I wasn’t even expressing or I was depressing my feeling even  to my life -coach.

I should be so grateful and not talk of  being negative.  I had been working, my children were healthy, I had friends, I had so much to be grateful for. Be happy. Have Joy.

I was growing like a flower in wild fields. I was so grateful to be alive and have all that I do have. I felt like a flower in a large wild field like everyone else, connected to each one and I wanted the sun to shine on me. I wanted to stand out by making changes, to guide,  to help others, while helping myself. But All I could feel was the roots getting tighter and pulling me letting me know it was time to close my pedals.

My life- coach called me … She said, you are human, we all are human We all think negative thoughts at one time or another, we all say words that can hurt, we all have our fears and want to take flight, meaning get away from it all. We all feel the Not Knowing, at one time or another. When she told me  as even tempered as she is, she yells when she is fed up with behavior around her grown children.  She has the same and so does every other person have the same feelings that I have at one time or another. When you see loving spiritual people on TV or in seminars, that have the answers for us, they are at their best. They are human, they are real and the have their moments, their days, just like the rest of us.

Yesterday.. I had another day of enough of this, wrote a letter to express my feelings to the one that can tear my heart out, not allowing that person the power to do this any longer.  Left for the gym to release any other feelings bottled up, when a close friend of mine, called me on my cell, what did I do… I  expressed my emotions, like a juicer exploding, since they were still so raw. I was disappointed in myself, why did I put this women though this who called me to discuss what she was going through. But I continued and I expressed my disappointment in myself  for saying certain words, having to lower myself to this level to…wake them up. Disappointed in the person that I thought would be respectful to our relationship.  I told my friend that …I was sorry for releasing this to her. What did she said….she thanked me for sharing what I was feeling, she needed to hear this and it helped her with her situation. When she called me spiritual and loving person.  I remembered what my life-coach said to me.  I also remembered … It doesn’t give me permission to act out and make excuses for my behavior or abuse anyone or myself.  I am growing and learning. I am wanting to learn to handle life’s issues in a calmer way.

Oh…  Can’t forget this part…My life coach told me to cry. Yes, Cry. I needed to cry to release the toxins around my eyes that I have been holding back the tears. Again …She explained that crying was a good way of releasing toxins. Toxins are in our tears. I had forgotten. I tried but  I wasn’t able to cry – the tears would build up… I could feel them. Only  one or two tears would come out. I had held myself back so much, so much, the tears couldn’t flow. I have been releasing a couple tears here and there. I know when they begin, it will be an over flowing, needing a box of tissues. I do like the Puffs, for I am worth it.

Happy Sunday!

Belinda

Be-ok by “Not knowing” at this time.

“What is Meditation?

Deepak Defines Meditation – Everyone thinks that the purpose of meditation is to handle stress, to tune out, to get away from it all. While that’s partially true, the real purpose of meditation is actually to tune in, not to get away from it all, but to get in touch with it all. Not to just de-stress, but to find that peace within, the peace that spiritual traditions talk about that passes all understanding. So, meditation is a way to get in the space between your thoughts. You have a thought here, a thought here, and there’s little space between every thought.

According to wisdom traditions, this space between the thought is the window, is the corridor, is the vortex to the infinite mind – the mystery that some people call the spirit or God. We don’t have to use those terms, but it’s your core consciousness. And the more we learn about this space between thoughts, we find certain things to be true of it:

• It’s a field of infinite possibilities – infinite possibilities, pure potentiality.
• Everything is connected to everything else.
• It’s a space of infinite creativity, infinite imagination.
• It is a place where there is something called observer effect, or the power of intention, which means intention is very powerful when brought to this space and it orchestrates its own fulfillment – what people call the law of attraction – so those are wonderful qualities of your own spirit.

In meditation, we get into this space so we find ourselves infinite possibilities, infinite correlation, infinite creativity, infinite imagination, and infinite power of intention. That’s what meditation is really about.”

^ above copied/pasted from Deepak’s website

Moving on let’s look at the great steps taken to prove the credibility of the Secret theory although in the spirit of the overall theme, examples are set firmly in realm of material possessions. Stimulating the western world’s dwindling economy is not without its New Age endorsements.

As I have only been subjected to the DVD interpretation of The Secret I can’t offer much comment on the companion book. I’m sure it’s written with the same sense of sickening smugness and all I can imagine is one of Homer Simpson’s finest moments. In The Simpsons Movie a fleeting moment of panic see’s Homer reach for a Bible and furiously flick through it and in a telling moment of  brilliance exclaims ‘this book doesn’t have any answers!!!’. Reading this book from a critical point of view would yield similar results.

I find it strange that the solution to the ills of the modern world has been placed on those things of a material nature and even stranger that this has been embraced so readily by the 21^st Century hippy collective. For example, you can head to the official Secret website and print yourself off a blank cheque from the merchandise section of their corporation. The purpose of this is to fill it in yourself with your name; chosen currency and the amount of money that you wish to receive. You will then need to hang it on your wall as a visualisation tool as the thoughts that this will inspire will draw that amount of money to you.

When did the counter culture become so obsessed with possessions and money? I was, wrongly, under the impression that the idea was to protest against the modern preoccupation with capitalist principles and advocate a real and more personally rewarding way of living. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

It looks like a real cheque doesn’t it? Under close observation you can see how they have tried their very best to make it as authentic as possible even including a fictitious Universal Bank moniker and attempt at cleverness – (Un) Limited. These are the small details needed to facilitate its use but by invoking the imagery of capitalism it panders to greed, not need.

Another way of looking at it is to assume that this Bank of the Universe is being offered as the solution to a crisis, personal or otherwise. Taking its inoperable links to the reality of modern living we can only assume that this crisis was the fault of the bank in the first place. Perhaps our thoughts were floated too cheaply on the vibe market, brain matter being the currency here with chief executives paying themselves enormous good vibe bonuses. The Chancellor of the Vibes then had to come up with a ploy to restock diminishing accounts and with The Secret, removed the validity, power and innocence of the human mind by placing a monetary value on feelings, gratifying their own greed and fuelling misplaced belief in their principles.

According to this absurd philosophy, all our wishes are in the catalogue. All our hopes and dreams can be looked up in a shiny manual, allocated a number and a price and the threat of spiritual emptiness if never attained. It’s saying to apply the Christmas formula to the most complicated aspects of human existence and, when the desired results are achieved through self fulfilling the prophecy, attributing this success to something other than the individual.

My question to these purveyors of false hope is this. What if it was my dream for something bad to happen to one of you? I’m not talking physical pain or murder or anything. What if I desperately wished for you to lose all your money? By applying your philosophy I could surely make this happen and if it did then I would prove you right. Or, would it prove you wrong as the very way of life you sell to the masses has been the cause of a devastating personal crisis?

If the problem is solvable using such a simple and childish philosophy then how it is justified that learning it comes at a cost. Historically, this stage of an idea becoming franchised results in the creation of a hierarchy within the movement as the business of it becomes the philosophy. You will need people above you that are closer to The Universe to keep you in check and keep fear levels at a premium. If it works, and you’re no longer afraid, then they will become obsolete and they have some serious overheads to consider. They need to keep you in this cycle until you only option for an exit is death and only those who pedal religion hold the monopoly on what happens in that scenario, for now.

Phil Watson

Have you ever felt like these hillsides must feel? Have you ever dug deeper when an apparent “enemy” has hurt you? Ever find yourself thinking “Oh yea? Just watch me recover from your blow. I will surprise you with my rebound.” Well the Morning Glory pictured, decided that it would be fun to actually grow up through the base boards and INTO my house. After I’d gently repotted as much of her as I could salvage, I yanked, pulled and cut the rest so as to spare my house. Well this Morning Glory must have felt exactly the way we feel when someone hurts us. As I said, I was as careful as I could be, but sure… a few vines got sacrificed in the process. Wouldn’t you know but that Morning Glory said “Never you mind…I see the vines that you deemed beautiful enough to replant in that corner over there. But I like it here, and I’m gonna STAY here thank you very much.” Needless to say, the blue beauty pictured is the only one blooming. How and from where I do not know. But alas, it has valiantly survived and even thrived while my repotted glory languishes sulkily in its designated corner of my yard. Okay… uncle…I give up. I will have to find a way for both of us to live together. Thank you Morning Glory for your beautiful demonstration of tenacity, forgiveness and hope. I am humbled by your silent, persistent, gracious elegance.

On such a road trip, driving at the speed limit (70 mph) along the I-64 West in Virginia, we are thrilled by the first sight of bumps on the horizon – the Blue Ridge. At the tipping point on top of the Blue, the highway runs down into the Shenandoah Valley giving us a glimpse of the distant Appalachian plateau where we plan to spend a peaceful weekend in the mountains. God willing!

A red SUV passing us caught the corner of my eye, and I don’t know why but it made me glance aside. The sight put into low gear the reverie I had been enjoying about the weekend ahead.  The lone driver was a young man and he was driving with no hands. He was preoccupied typing a text or email message on his mobile device while he passed in the fast lane. You could say that neither the road ahead nor the vehicles he burned past were at the front of his mind.  Lucinda snapped a photo with her iPAD.

This isn’t the kind of story I like to write about. Everyone knows that using a mobile device while driving is common, risky, and now the main cause of road deaths and injuries for young people (3,000 and 300,000, respectively, each year in the USA). Only a day or two earlier while I was walking our dog, a lady with her cell phone held to one ear raised the other hand from the wheel to wave at the dog while she was turning a sharp corner. I jumped in the hedge, yanking Lilah after me.  Of course, teens are not the only ones who get distracted while driving, but those that feel invincible are more vulnerable. Texting goes hand-in-hand with other risky driving behaviors – not wearing a seat belt and being intoxicated.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 45% of high school students reported texting behind the wheel in the past month.  The rates were no lower in states where it is already illegal, so enforcement has been useless so far.  It must be a hard habit to break if a campaign by Oprah Winfrey, the “world’s most powerful woman”, has been unable to dent road accident statistics. She calls it an “epidemic” across the entire country.

So when you are cruising along the highway, and maybe playing It’s a Wonderful World to put you at ease, spare a thought for other road-users. Driving more defensively might help to avoid someone careering into your back before they look up after typing LOL.

Next Post: The Good, the Bad, and the Cannibals

http://adf.ly/PDO3V *** Click HERE for Read Full Article!

There is a “new” message spreading across the planet like wildfire. It has been publicized recently in a video called “The Secret”. Teachers of this secret have recently appeared with Oprah and Larry King, giving it international exposure…

Article Source: http://adf.ly/PDO3V

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”~Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Join us on The Voice That Speaks Inside!!

https://www.facebook.com/TheVoiceThatSpeaksInside

{{{NAMASTE}}}

(((<3 * ! ~ LJL )))

Large shrub possesses host of medicinal properties that Native Americans have tapped for centuries

Story ran on Malibu Times Blog, May 17, 2013

Many Pacific plants have tremendous compounds to ward off fungal and bacterial infections. There may, however, be none stronger than coastal Pacific devil’s club.

Devil’s club is a rather prehistoric looking single-stemmed plant covered head-to-toe in armor with three-quarter-inch spines on its stem, leaf base and leaves. Its spine will cause severe skin irritation. It can grow 20 feet high with 14-inch leaves resembling a big leaf maple. It has small whitish flowers and reproduces from bright red berries or root layering, which is a natural form of clonal propagation.

Devil’s club occurs throughout the Pacific Northwest on moist, but well drained, rich forested ecosystems. It’s a member of the same family as Asian and Siberian ginseng, but does not contain similar ginsenosides or the active compounds as its cousins do. Devil’s club does, on the other hand, have potent properties to successfully combat antifungal, antiviral, antibacterial and antimycobacterial agents. That’s why it is being tested to combat Esherichia coli, Staphyloccus aureus and Bacillius subtilis.

Native Americans have known about devil’s club and its other properties for thousands of years. They revere this plant, and for good reason, for both medicinal and spiritual applications. In fact, they used the inner stem bark to treat over 34 different physical ailments including broken bones, type II diabetes and cancers. Whole stems, berries, leaves and roots contain active compounds to boost the human immune system.

Native Americans believe that devil’s club protects them against supernatural entities, epidemics and evil influences. During certain ceremonies the extract of the red berries is painted on shaman’s faces. It is said to fill them with supernatural powers.

Devil’s club has been illegally marketed as Alaskan ginseng. Commercially available tinctures, teas and capsules that contain devil’s club extract are harvested from roots. Some producers unfortunately are trying to take advantage of false ginseng properties which, by the way, only come from roots.

Devil’s club is harvested from wild plants. It is difficult to cultivate and presently there are no commercial cultivations producing the plant.

Harvesting roots from wild stock for commercial use kills plants and is not a sustainable practice.

Currently devil’s club is being tested for treatment of tuberculosis and AIDS. Its many medicinal properties make it an exciting plant which potentially will offer hope to those afflicted with dreadful diseases.

Wild forests are filled with exquisite webs of life, and devil’s club, which is an indicator of a rich, fertile site is proof that our diverse temperate Pacific forests contain more than just giant, old trees that are the finest carbon dioxide warehouse to have ever evolved on planet Earth.

It is time to protect our ancient forests and their medicines; a moratorium on harvesting all remaining ancient forests in America must occur now.

Elephants grieve at the death of conservationist Lawrence Anthony, South Africa

Australia, Radio 1, National: Ockham’s Razor

Australia, Radio 1, National, Overnight: Superstorm Sandy

Australia, Radio 1, National, Overnight: Bees and our Environment

Australia, Radio 1, National, Overnight: Great Barrier reef in Trouble

Australia, Radio 1, National, Overnight: Protecting our Oceans

Save the Oceans

Oceans Dying

Bees helping humankind

Save our Florida corals

Operation Bee founder testimonial

Earth Dr Reese Halter is an award-winning broadcaster and distinguished biologist. His latest books are The Insatiable Bark Beetle and The Incomparable Honeybee

Contact Earth Dr Reese Halter

Text © by Dr Reese Halter 2013. All rights reserved.

She is discussing shame. How it limits us. How it corrodes our self-esteem.

Brown has studied shame. She defines it in part as the intense feeling or belief that we are unworthy of love. According to her, we’re all infected with shame. She says it’s lethal.

And the less you talk about it, the more of it you probably have.

Brown believes shame can happen in an instant or can manifest from a lifetime of subtle programming. She also says that shame correlates strongly with addiction and depression.

Her comments got me thinking about the subject. Where does shame come from? What does it look like?

Shame affects the way we think, the choices we make, how we carry ourselves in the world. I think it affects what we think we deserve.

How does shame present itself? I’ve seen it manifest in perfectionism. I‘ve got to be perfect, be the best employee, be the best mother, the best wife. . . so I can be loved.

I’ve seen it present itself in the opposite way too–by not showing up or doing your best work. Why bother trying if you already know you’re not good enough or smart enough?

I think as a culture, we use shame a lot. And not just in schools. We find it in politics. In religion. In parenting techniques. How many of us have heard (or gulp, even said before, “Shame on you!”) to someone you’re trying to control? I guess, I’ll raise my hand on that one, too.

When I think about it in the context of Brown’s talk now, I feel a little ashamed.

The truth is…sometimes we are the perpetrators of shame.  We can be the worst offenders when we shame ourselves for being imperfect. When we beat ourselves up for a host of sins like:being too chubby,  making poor financial decisions, being attracted to the wrong relationships, being addicted to drama or drink, or whatever.

And it occurs to me as I write this, that shame keeps us stuck. It’s a dark place where we can hide ourselves from the world. Because maybe, maybe, it feels more normal to us. And if we’re totally honest, maybe it gives us a hall pass to do less, and maybe accept less from ourselves…maybe even from others.

So how do we dissolve the pain? Brown talked about the importance of bringing light to it. Talking about our shame, bringing it out in the open is a first step to healing it. Though she cautions that you must be careful who you share your shame with.

I agree. But I also say, you can start by sharing your shame with yourself. But do it from a place of compassion. Look at yourself through “your soul’s eyes,” and know that you are a divine spirit. As many inspirational leaders have said, “we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”  The truth is…there is no shame in being human.

So love yourself though it. Learn from your shame. And move on.

In my book Tao Flashes, I speak about compassion as being an important value and principle in life, and particularly at midlife. Compassion is also one of the basic tenets of Taoism. And Christianity. And Buddhaism. And all credible religions.

So remember, you are lovable. And there is no shame in being human.

Question: What shame do you need to forgive and release in your life?

Affirmation: I am lovable and honorable. I release any old stories that have left me feeling unworthy and ashamed of myself.

The political disappearance of the left wing in the western world has given rise to the commercialisation of alternative living. Former gatherings of those seeking the counter culture, like Glastonbury Festival, now resemble vessels for mass marketing and capitalist principles. Finding new ways of conducting yourself through this minefield of profit driven ideology, hypocritically, results in a trip to your nearest book shop chain or to the Internet for an overpriced self-help manual. This bears a striking similarity to that other desperate faithfulness to a certain ancient, over scrutinised self-help text.

The inexplicable global phenomenon in line of for cross-examination here is The Secret. I will attempt to play the part of the prosecution and you the judge and jury (and executioner?).

So what on earth is The Secret?

Synopsis:

The Secret has existed throughout the history of humankind. It has been discovered, coveted, suppressed, hidden, lost, and recovered. It has been hunted down, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money.

Fragments of The Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries.

This is the introduction to the “facts” as the official website would have you believe. I’m pretty sure you’re probably still asking yourself what it is. I’m still not sure.

The Secret is the brainchild of Rhonda Byrne, an Australian writer and television producer, who has made herself a serious amount of money selling her borrowed philosophies to the masses. Enjoying the endorsement of America’s spiritual mother, Oprah Winfrey, will have an extremely positive effect on your bank balance and it’s within this sort of practice we dive straight into the realm of self fulfilling prophecies and their usefulness in convincing the defenseless to part with their cash.

A few years ago I was sat with my good lady and a friend in the front room of another friend’s house who had something that she wanted us to watch.  She didn’t give too much away hoping it would have the same impact on us as it did her. She described it as truly life changing and, being open-minded sorts, we settled in for what we were promised would be a visual and enlightening treat. This was my first real introduction to the idea of modern, mass-market philosophy and seems the best place to start. The next hour and a half of my life was spent open mouthed and awestruck at the sheer gravity of what was played out before me. This, as the authors would have you believe, is the desired response but my amazement existed at the opposite end of their intentions.

Try and remember back to when you were a child. If, like me, you grew up glued to the television then you will remember what it was like to see those envy inducing toy commercials that made toys look like the best thing in the world. Unimaginably cool looking kids would parade the products gleefully in front of you involving clever editing and set dressing. You just had to have them. The disappointment came when, on the odd occasion, one of these toys would be purchased and you realised that the clever sound effects, music and dazzling white teeth displayed in the advert are not in the box and it’s just you, the toy and a worn carpet. But when you’re a kid you don’t care as your imagination takes hold and there you are, in that commercial revered by all the other children so jealous of your luck and blinded by your smile. Secretly, you know it isn’t as good as when you see someone else playing with it, but you pretend any way.

I was twenty six when first introduced to The Secret and had all but forgotten those feelings of adolescent confusion with the world of advertising. They all came flooding back that day as The Secret is nothing more than an adult version of this money making strategy with the only difference being that vulnerable children are replaced with vulnerable adults with access to cash.

So for those that have no experience of this phenomenon, and I envy you, I will try and paint a picture of what I saw.

Based loosely on the documentary format The Secret DVD involves clearly scripted interviews with Secret Teachers who claim to hold the answers to ALL of your problems. This is intercut with expensive computer graphics and ambiguous history lessons claiming that The Secret has been passed down through generations, mostly by famous people, and has reached you in an expensive digital format to sort your life out.

A number of exceptional men and women discovered the Secret, and went on to become known as the greatest people who ever lived. Among them: Plato, Leonardo, Galileo, Napoleon, Hugo, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison, Einstein and Carnegie, to name but a few.

Dining out on the accomplishments of over achievers is seemingly not without its advantages, most notably the fact that none of them are alive to confirm or deny it. Now I’m not saying that there’s no truth in this despite the lack of tangible evidence to support these claims. I can’t prove it just as much as they can’t and historically, heroes have a habit of being a crushing disappointment. (See Clint Eastwood turning out to be a Republican or Brad Pitt appearing in a perfume commercial for further reading).

What’s really for sale here is a theory known as the ‘Law of Attraction’. This is exactly as idiotic as it first sounds and has the most sinister subtext coursing through its evil rhetoric. The secret teachers tell us that this law needs to be learned and applied to all aspects of your life to achieve and gain the material things that will complete our lives.

So what is the “Law of Attraction”?

It is the practice of extreme wishful thinking based around the principle that “like attracts like”. For instance, if one thinks only positively about the outcome of any event then based on this law every outcome will be positive. The same applies for a negative approach. The biggest problem with The Secret is how it suggests you should apply this flawed but good natured law to the issues that life can throw at you. Does it concentrate on anything of importance like poverty, famine or war? No but one of the examples that it does offer is the case of a child who needs a sweet new red bike and it states that if he really wants it then he needs to surround himself with positive energy and wish for it, like all the other eight year olds. Then, it will just appear on his doorstep as if the cosmic forces they claim control our world concern themselves with whether some spoilt kid from middle class suburbia has shiny red transportation. It’s like asking you to perform some extreme housekeeping on your innermost thoughts.

If this were really true then surely there would be no more hungry people in the world. In the spirit of “like for like” let’s looks at a provocative example. I’m sure all the starving families in the world spend all day hoping and wishing for food and by this rationale they should cease to be hungry as the universe would surely provide them with some form of cosmic nourishment. The focus is on the overtly capitalist principles of consuming and profit making. The issue here is it’s only applicable within the realms of western life and places the answers to modern problems on that of a material nature. It’s not so much a ‘Law’ of attraction but a ‘Lure’ of distraction. It doesn’t want you to concentrate on anything REAL as there’s no money in it.

Is it not, almost exclusively, singling out those who suffer at the hands of misfortune and casting them as the directors of their own fate? Of course it is. By convincing the vulnerable of this it puts them in a position to offer the only available medicine for an illness that no one knew they had. And anyone can have it, for a price.

Phil Watson.

Coming soon: Part 2

Maybe. The June issue of O Magazine, Oprah’s eponymous monthly, features six pizzas with recipes from pizzerias all across the country. Among them, Cavalli in Irving (although they are also in McKinney). Their Jalapeño, Garlic and Oregano gets a mention on p.150.

Cavalli is an authentic Neapolitan pizza restaurant and the first certified VPN restaurant in North Texas. Congratulations to the Cavalli family on the well-deserved recognition. 

We have the Cavalli recipe below courtesy of O Magazine:

Makes 4 pizzas

Directions

Preheat grill so that 2/3 of grill is on high heat and 1/3 is on low heat. Cut dough into 4 equal pieces. On a lightly floured work surface, roll out each piece of dough into a 6″ circle. Cover dough loosely with plastic wrap and let rest 10 minutes.

Coat a large, rimmed baking sheet with oil. Gently stretch a piece of dough into a 9″ round, then place on oiled pan to coat both sides. Repeat with other pieces of dough and set aside on another baking sheet.

Working 2 pieces at a time, lift a dough round and drape it over the hot part of the grill. Repeat with second piece. Grill over high heat until seared, about 10 seconds. Using tongs, rotate dough and continue cooking 10 to 20 seconds more. Turn dough over and move to the cooler area. Apply 1/4 of the toppings to each piece of dough, then slide dough back and forth between hot and cool areas to finish cooking dough, melt cheese, and heat toppings, about 30 seconds more. With a large metal spatula, transfer pizzas to a cutting board, slice, and serve. Repeat with remaining dough and toppings.

It was somewhere around the end of January that The Million Dollar Marathon was announced. A dream hatched up while running across Iowa had become a reality. The MDM had been brought to life because of others, not me. The Above and Beyond Family (which I am finding out is way bigger than the Brady Bunch), believed in the concept and gave it life. Even then, were it not for the efforts of others, The Million Dollar Marathon would be hanging out like Frosty the Snowman without his magic hat…lifeless.

Over 100 incredible cancer fighters and those who love them became The Million Dollar Marathon’s magic hat. They gave our event life, in so many ways. These people, many of whom have never run near a marathon, some not even a 5k stepped up and said, “I CAN do this…I WILL do this”. They show us that the only thing that limits us is, well….US. They show us that we are all capable of so much more than we know. You put one foot in front of the other and when things get tough you find a way to stay in the game, to take one more step and then another and another until the goal is reached.

I have heard Cancer Survivors say that if given the choice to go back and not have Cancer that they would not. They speak of the “gift” of Cancer and that they live a different life now.  They laugh louder, hug stronger and live each day to the best of their ability. It is a gift that they share with us all. My life is better because of these people and what they have taught me. They will always be my “Magic” hat.

Go Team Million Dollar Marathon!!!