I am wondering this morning if I should have my website programmer give “Cathie” at www.SidestreetBooks.com a face?  Right now, she has a blank face, and she might actually be scary to small children.  So does the gal at the Sidestreet Cafe, so it would seem that if Cathie gets a new face, then the barissta will also have to get a new face.  What do you think?

Happy Thanksgiving to all my U.S. readers! Today, many of us have on minds on preparing or indulging in a big meal, often finished off with a pumpkin pie. The scents of freshly-baked traditional Thanksgiving desserts are enough to make anyone salivate.

But here’s the thing: I don’t like to smell like dessert (or anything sweet, coconut being the sole exception). I prefer to keep the sweets in the kitchen. But there are some women who absolutely love the smell of a sweet treat, anytime, anywhere.

Ladies, the Philosophy Classic Cookbook ($35) just may be your dream gift.

I’d originally heard from a Philosophy insider that the Cookbook would be included on Oprah’s Favorite Things this year. Although the episode is now cancelled, this still remains on the top of O’s list of gifts to give and receive. If it passes the O test, you know it’s gotta be good.

Packaged in what looks like a classic cookbook are 6 mini versions of Philosophy’s best-selling shower gel/bubble bath/shampoos. The sumptuous gel foams up into a rich lather and is really comforting on parched skin.

Included scents: pumpkin muffins, double-rich hot cocoa, cinnamon buns, red velvet cake, warm pear cobbler, and gingerbread.

The scent doesn’t linger in your bathtub or shower after you’re done soaping up (although you get may get an occasional whiff of it on your skin). And best of all, these don’t go directly to your belly or thighs. All the more reason to indulge.

Originally uploaded by Katyam.

when i was watching a segment about paulini describing her experience of domestic violence on 9am with david and kim, being the spokesperson for white ribbon day -international day of elimination of violence against women, i was shocked…that even those in the spotlight encounter this behind closed doors as well…that i was not alone…the same when i watched rihanna first speaking out about the incident with chris brown

http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/Resources-49.aspx

http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/sunrise/35311/paulinis-harrowing-account-of-abuse-now-in-song

yay i celebrated pink ribbon day because i knew a few people close to me were affected by it -was quite a wake up call when my mate ana just a year older than me (26 at that time) had to get a lump removed from her breast…alhamdulillah it wasn’t cancerous …but this white ribbon day thing really hits home…

even though i can’t say i have conceded victory over it because i’m still technically married to ayman but its something that not just women but the entire community need to address, come to terms and help with, especially by other men…

in so many hadiths i read that its haram to treat women unjustly, to even harm or even hit her -especially on her face but what do you normally see on most middle-eastern/muslim-oriented movies, soapies, even real life -the women being bashed like she’s a rag doll…

it took me calling the police twice for ayman to understand that its just not right to bully, harm me…i wonder what it would take for all others who live in societies where hitting women is just a norm…

there should be more songs, movies, literature condoning such acts of violence…

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/03/08/2009-03-08_oprah_winfrey_has_a_warning_for_rihanna_.html#ixzz0XmHWMxjc

With the announcement that Oprah will go off the air, we mourn for our children and our children’s children for how they will never hear the celebrities’ names of their time said like this:

The Government Got It Right

November 24th, 2009

A change in the sensitivity of your breasts, other than pain, might be a symptom of menopause, but it also might be something more severe. It could be mastic breast tissue, cysts, breast disease, or even neuropathy related to multiple sclerosis or fibromyalgia. It can also be a warning sign of breast cancer.

The new government recommendations on breast cancer screening were surprising to many doctors, but I happen to agree with them. The government is currently recommending against regular mammography tests for women aged 40 to 49. The guidelines also downplay the effectiveness of self-examinations and advise that women aged 50 to 74 years receive mammograms every other year.The change in early detection direction came from a U.S. Preventive Services Task Force comprised of a government panel of doctors and scientists. They concluded that early and frequent screenings by mammography often lead to false alarms and unneeded biopsies without substantially improving a woman’s odds of survival.

I agree with these new guidelines. First, I have not been a fan of mammograms for some time. I find that mammograms are not nearly as effective in detection as some other tests, like MRI’s and ultrasounds. I also have found that even when I teach my patients how to complete a manual breast exam, they are less than effective.

I support the new guidelines because I think it will lead to better testing. The ultrasound is a better screening procedure that’s safer and easier and picks up things fast. I believe that women should receive ultrasounds every year as part of their routine medical exam, beginning at an early age. If needed, MRI or PET scans can detect lumps and bumps better than any mammogram ever could.

Dr. Eric Braverman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

click here for map to Dr. Joe’s office 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click Here To Read Study

PLEASE PASS IT ON…

risk-of-vertebrobasilar-stroke-and-chiropractic-care

This is something new I’m going to start doing with the help of my new writers.  The title is pretty self-explanatory, we’ll just go through and name the top 10 worst people of the week and a little bit about why.  This post will probably be posted on Saturdays, but seeing as this is Thanksgiving week and I’ll be busy Saturday, we’ll go ahead and do it tonight.

10. CBS- After CBS jumped at the opportunity to book Adam Lambert and be the shelter for the “kicked puppy”, they blurred out the Lamber/Male keyboarder kiss, while not blurring out the Madonna/Britney kiss that was shown in the same slide set.  I’m glad they blurred out the Lambert/Keyboarder kiss, but they should have been consistent and blurred both.  Watch out folks, hypocrisy earns you a spot on my list.

9. Google- Go back in time a week, google image search Michelle Obama.  What pops up?  A monkey.  True story.  Google lands on the list because they removed the photo and the website from their searches.  Don’t get me wrong, I find blatant racial attacks to be despicable and unwarranted in today’s society, but come on Google.  There are MILLIONS of offensive images on the internet, why try and play police with this one?  That image has been circulated to millions of American’s by now, and this all making much ado about nothing.  Everyone needs to quit being so dang sensitive.

8. Oprah Winfrey- Oprah started off great by announcing she was ending her tv show……… then she continued by saying it wouldn’t be over until 2011.  Geez Oprah, you got me all excited.

7. “President or Jihad” Billboard guy- Come on man, have some sense!  Sure I’d love for B.O. to show us the birth certificate, but really?  I’m not a member of the “AHH! HATE CRIME” group, I just think it’s ignorant.  I must say, it gave me a HUGE laugh when I first saw it though.  For those who missed this story, read it here.

6. Climatologists dismissing the e-mails- No one can take responsibility for their actions anymore.  3 of the climatologists who were a part of the global warming e-mail scandal last week came out today saying that it was nothing but a smear campaign.  When did “smear campaign” become the word of choice when trying to dodge a sticky situation?

5. Perez Hilton- The fact that I can’t stand him aside, Perez really aggravated me on the AMA’s.  They gave him 10 seconds of screen time and he used it to say “I caught up with Derek Hough….. in the bathroom”.  Perez has a chronic case of pedestalitus; he can say whatever he wants, but the second anyone else steps up, cue the tears and Vlog.

4. Jon Gosselin- He’s just a bully.  His latest episode includes being a bully to his twins for preferring their mom over him.  The two twins said they enjoyed being with their mom more, so Jon through them inside and wouldn’t let the poor girls sell lemonade.  I think he’s just bitter that his 15 minutes are officially ovahhhh.

3. WikiLeaks- I’ve never heard of this website until today, but apparently they’ve discovered thousands of 9/11 texts and have released them to the internet.  Why stir up memories with these messages, some of which were extremely personal and heartbreaking?

2. Keith Olbermann- Uhhhh…. He’s just annoying.

1. Adam Lambert- I’ve never seen anyone more desperate for publicity in my life.  I could tolerate him on Idol, but he took it too far at the AMA’s and continues to take it too far as he does interviews throughout the week.  Adam, you may not be “a babysitter”, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair game for you to force simulated oral sex on some back-up dancer in front of 15 million people.  You may think the the world is carrying out one big hate crime and discriminating against you, but I was just as appalled when Britney kissed Madonna.  Save it for pay-per-view, not a show with a rating of TV-14.

Who do you think is the worst person above?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Also, Deluxe Membership is now available, click here to join for free.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

Also, be sure and use the new rating feature, found at the bottom of comments and posts!

by: Randi M.

Oprah will be hosting a special on ABC on holidays at the White House. According to OMG, Oprah will showcase the holiday preparation in the White House and she will interview President Obama and First Lady Michelle. This 1 hr special will air on ABC on Dec. 13th at 10/9pm c.

Click image for source.

. . . Oprah? 

(I’m in capable of making a long story short. You should start here for the first part of the story)

Thankfully, Amalia didn’t make us wait too long.  She called two days later and told me that we passed the first round and she would like to schedule time for me to come over to her home to see the daycare and watch her and her sister in action with the kids.  Score! We had successfully come off as the type of parents good enough for Miss Amalia.  I still wasn’t sure how I would break it to her that we needed somebody when the baby was 10 weeks and I wasn’t breastfeeding, but I figured that I’d ingratiate myself to the point that she wouldn’t be able to say no.

I couldn’t wait for my visit. It was like being invited into a Mormon temple without being Mormon, or to Oprah’s show without being Josh Grobin.  By the way she had described her daycare, I was expecting to see brilliant, magical 1 and 2 year olds who could totally go from downward dog into Warrior III without missing a beat. They’d probably be signing questions to Miss Amalia about “Goodnight Gorilla”, like why the zookeeper’s wife had to put all the animals back when it was clearly her husband’s responsibility. I taught myself how to sign “yes” and “no” and “I completely agree. I would’ve kicked him to the curb” just in case that question did come up.  I imagined children that did not cry except for when they wanted more homemade organic pureed beets.  These kids probably didn’t poop either. No, that didn’t seem like behavior becoming of a toddler at Miss Amalia’s daycare. I wondered if a child that sprung from my loins could possibly measure up in Miss. Amalia’s world.

Being around people I don’t know having awkward conversations is extremely draining for me, so I had prepared for my 45 minute visit as if I were training for a triathlon.  I drank plenty of fluids, got a lot of sleep, practiced answers to questions I thought she might ask, like “which do you prefer the most: the farmer’s market on Randolph  or Whole Foods?” or “describe your daily meditation sequence” both of which I formulated an answer to using the Internet. I had a big carb -filled dinner the night before, just so I wouldn’t pass out from exhaustion, or irritation or judginess.

On the big day, I walked over there with butterflies in my stomach. I was still being judged. And I didn’t really know anything about kids or taking care of them, so I told myself I wouldn’t touch any of the kids.  Just in case I accidentally killed one of them.

It was a warm day and I happened to be wearing sandals.  I found out when Miss Amalia answered the door that shoes were supposed to be left in the hall. No shoes were permitted at any time within the confines of her home. But now I had this awkwardness of having bare feet, which I think is much more gross than wearing the sandals. I think Miss Amalia and I agreed on this.  She brought me some socks before I could step over the threshold into the magical home daycare. If you’ve ever read “Grasshopper Along the Road” (which, if you haven’t, you must) Miss Amalia was exactly like the mosquito that obsessively chants “rules are rules!” and cannot fathom exceptions to any arbitrary rule he makes up.  I’m not a big rules person if the rules are arbitrary.  But again, maybe this is how all daycares were? What did I know?  I put on the socks and apologized for not knowing the rule.

The magical home daycare looked a lot like a regular condo with a lot of toys in it. But they were arranged just so for feng shui purposes, I was told.  The kids were adorable.  And from what I could tell, they cried and they pooped, which I was really surprised about.  Even more surprising was that at least one kid thought I was awesome. I think.  One little 18 month old ran up and hugged me as soon as I got in the door. And he didn’t die right after. He spent most of the visit in my lap. Miss Amalia was astounded. She claimed he only acts that way around her and his mother. Really? Nice. Maybe I would be a good mom after all. And I was so relieved that Miss Amalia didn’t have a rule about kids not being able to cry or poop without being dismissed. And that I didn’t kill any babies.

It was a fun visit. Really. Her sister was a lot less hard-core and rules-based than she was and it kind of made it a little less weird to talk to her. I told them some of my more tame stories that made them laugh, which is really about the only talent I have that usually doesn’t fail me. The kids were bright and lovely and having fun and actually, they really could sign. Which was news to me. I thought all that stuff was bogus, like I did about dogs really staying down in down-stays (which they totally do if you spend thousands training them). And Amalia and her sister took pictures of the kids all the time and then would email them to the parents during the day, which is the next best thing to the live camera feed I got from my doggie daycare. I’m probably making some people uncomfortable with the parallels between my dog and my kids.  I’ll stop, but in my experience, toddlers and dogs aren’t that different.

So I left after my allotted 45 minutes feeling like it was the best place ever and our going there was probably a done deal.  Just as I was walking out, they mentioned that another couple vying for my son’s place was coming the next day. Damn. Maybe I should have brought chocolates or some energy drink or something. Damn.         Damn. Damn. Damn. Fuck. I told them I thought they were spectacular and that my son would be lucky to be taken care of by such good people.  And I meant it. I mean, there were no other alternatives, so they really stacked up nicely compared to leaving him by himself all day.

I went home and ate a tub of Cherry Garcia.  Luckily that isn’t called bingeing when you’re pregnant. I think it’s just called normal. I mean, if you can’t drink your worries away, what other alternatives are there?

I called Miss Amalia the next day to ask about where we were on the list and when she could tell me if we were in or out. She said she was going to hold off on a decision until she met the baby. Who wasn’t going to be born for another 6 weeks. If she said no, then what was I supposed to do?  Thats when I kind of went ballistic.

Love: “Umm…that isn’t going to work.”

Amalia: “Pardon?”

Love: “You can’t just decide a week before whether a family is coming or not! I have a baby that needs to be in a great daycare and I have to know now whether he is in or out at your place so I can make other arrangements if it’s not working out!”

Amalia: “Well, to tell the truth, you are first on our list, but he wouldn’t be here for another six months, and a lot can happen between now and then.”

Love: “What if he came in 3 months? I need you in August, not December.”

Amalia: (silence) “I don’t take children younger than 6 months.”

Love: “Because you can’t or you won’t?”

Amalia: “Well, it is very young to be separated from the mother.”

Love: “I have to go back to school! I can’t change the date that school starts. I trust you. I trust you more than I trust me to be honest. Please make an exception.”

Amalia: “I might have to charge more for a baby that young…”

Love: “Listen, we don’t have a lot of money, but we’re willing to pay you whatever you want if you’ll take him in August.”

Amalia: “I would have to talk to my sister.”

Love: “I need that spot in your daycare. I know very little about taking care of a baby but I know a lot about being in school, which is where I need to be in August. I have no other options. I’m literally begging you. But if you can’t tell me by the end of this week, you have to tell me.”

Amalia: “I like you.”

Love: “I like you too.” (I think we’re supposed to kiss here, but the phone made it hard.)

Amalia: “I feel bad for you. You really don’t know much about being a parent.”

Love: “No. I know about being a parent. That is what this conversation is about. I need a good caregiver for my baby and you’re it. If you meant I don’t know much about child care, then you’re right on there. That is no secret. Oh and while we’re on the subject I forgot to tell you I won’t be breastfeeding.”

Amalia: (gasps) “What? Why?”

Love: “I can’t. Physically impossible.” ( Psychologically impossible would be more true. Honest mistake. )

Amalia: “I’ll talk to my sister.”

Love: “Tell her to say yes. We’ll be the best family you have. I swear.”

Amalia: “Okay.  This is a lot of information to take in.” (she is wondering who the hell she is dealing with)

So we ended it there. I was sure that was it for us and Miss Amalia. We’d have to hire a nanny if this didn’t work out, and then selling our kidneys wouldn’t cover it. BD would probably have to go out and turn tricks while I did the night shift at Dunkin’ Donuts. I ate another gallon of Cherry Garcia.

After an excruciating couple of days, Amalia called me back. We were in.

I won! I won! She tacked on another $25 a week, but it seemed like a small price to pay to the daycare gods. I celebrated for a month straight. I went over and visited Miss Amalia’s place up until I gave birth and then brought over my son when he was about 6 weeks. I still thought she was over the top about most stuff, but I was in no position to complain. This was what I wanted, right?

Sometimes you need to be careful what you wish for. (Sorry, Part IV is a must.)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Millions of women were shocked to find that television mogul, Oprah Winfrey, called it quits after what feels like a lifetime of straight television pwnage. The talkshow giant will be airing her last show sometime September 2011, marking the end of her 25th season on air. Experts predict stocks to skyrocket for industries related to icecream, women’s denim, chocolates, and household appliances as news of the resignation of the messiah of housewives hits homes nationwide.

From a male standpoint: One down, about 15 more to go. I really wish they would cancel Tyra and the View (God damn you and your pestering friends, Joy Lockheart). And BOY do I hate Tyra… Anyway, women need not fear. Oprah is simply shifting her attention from daytime television to maintaining her own cable network. That’s right people, an all out, Oprah Winfrey, cable network. The Peggy Bundy’s of America can breathe a sigh of relief as reruns will still be aired. More in 2011, if I’m reminded to care.

Parece que a despedida da apresentadora mais famosa e influente dos EUA a poucos dias parece estar ligada a criação da sua própria emissora:  a OWN – Oprah Winfrey Network. Como informou Fernando Morgado, o canal é nada mais que a expansão de sua marca em mais um dos diversos empreendimentos no ramo da comunicação já criados, como livros, revistas, programas de rádio e filmes.

Apesar da previsão de lançamento ser apenas em janeiro de 2011, substituindo o canal Discovery Health, um site da internet especialmente criado já apresenta detalhes da marca e do conceito do canal, que está relacionado intimamente com assuntos obviamente conectados ao mundo da apresentadora, como bem-estar, saúde, moda, estilo, família, relacionamento, comportamento e espiritualidade.

Mas até agora o que se pode ver da identidade é a marca que, a exemplo da já tão comentada MTV e do caso recente de reposicionamento da AOL, se mostra cambiante e, por isso, forçosamente mais dinâmica. No caso da OWN, a tipografia delicada e arredondada se mantém a mesma, enquanto as cores, em geral vibrantes e alegres, mudam e a letra “O” é substituída por elementos que valorizam as coisas simples e prazerosas do dia-a-dia.  Até a sigla formada ajudou na conceituação do canal, já que “own” (próprio em inglês) ressalta a relação de auto-estima sempre promovida e ressaltada por Oprah em todas os seus veículos midiáticos.

>>> Postado por André Luiz Sens

>>> Contribuições: Fernando Morgado Televisionado

Why do we trust the opinion of other people we have never met? It’s completely reasonable to trust your mother, a dear friend of even the friend of a friend. Why though, do we trust public figures and celebrities we have never even seen in person?  Oprah is retiring soon and it leaves us with a gap, for some reason, and for the millions of lonely housewives and boring people who have to turn to a middle-aged TV host for book reviews, they will have to find another person to trust. Will it be Tyra Banks? We can all pray together that it won’t. Will Conan O’Brien fulfil his promise and step up to the podium? No it’s just a comedy sketch. Or will NBC go on a hunt for another “Oprah”. I vote we do none of the above.

Everyone needs to start just using their brains a little bit more and stop following the rants of Oprah or any other celebrity that they consider worthy. It’s sad how many people watch daytime talk shows for honest advice and support. Television is supposed to be an entertainment avenue and not some individual’s stranglehold on the American public. Do I have anything personally against Oprah? Of course not. I just can’t believe the amount of power and the vast riches she has collected over the years by hosting a TV show.

Tyra Banks can’t fill her shoes because unlike Oprah, she has no soul. Have you ever taken a minute to listen to her talk? No I mean really listen? absolutely nothing of value comes out. She is a supermodel who has no right trying to become another voice to the masses. All she ever does is laugh at herself and tell us how she invented “smizing” which is smiling with the eyes. Tara, you didn’t invent the “sexy” eye look all you did is put a stupid name on something that has existed since the dawn of civilization. You deserve no credit and you should have your show taken away immediately before you brainwash another poor housewife into thinking you have any credentials. you sicken me and I hope you never do anything other than model again.

That seems to be ok though. We don’t seem to care about people’s qualifications anymore. Anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it right? That makes sense. The only problem is we’re letting people take steps out of the process and just doing things before they know what they’re doing. Micheal Strahan and Paris Hilton can apparently act, Girls from The Hills can apparently sing, Any celebrity you can imagine apparently can try out for a dance show, and politicians can hire prostitutes. Too soon?

We need to start setting up bigger boundaries so we can stop this trend of erasing the need for talent. Right now as long as you have the money you can make anything happen. you can sing, dance, act, buy whores, whatever. It doesn’t matter what your background says or even what your current track record says. We have enough special effects, auto-tune, advisors, and diet pills to make anyone believe anything. You know why everything around us is dying? Why so many movies bomb, so many cds sell nothing and so many TV shows don’t make it past their pilot? Because no one is original and no one has talent. Obviously I’m being slightly melodramatic and there is still talent out there but I don’t even think it’s the majority anymore. I think most or music acts and especially a majority of hip hop acts should  never be given the light of day. But if you can sell one single and push out one dance hit then there is a label willing to compromise their values one more time and continue to cannibalize their own industry.

I don’t want to turn on TNT and see another boring courtroom TV show where the main characters solve every crime in a twenty-five minute time span. I don’t need to watch more dramas about cops and their struggles to keep work and their personal life separate. No one needs another single mom show either. Music isn’t ant better. The vocal rock era needs to end. Shinedown has become the poster boy for a dead genre. Hip hop doesn’t need anymore catchy dance tunes for one hit wonders. They need more artists that develop into superstars. Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Pitbull who can release more than one good track a decade. Movies have been ruining great scripts too. The Island had so much potential until Michael Bay vomited out the production it became and G.I. Joe because a bunch of douchbags jumping around on green screens instead of the nice “heroes” they’re supposed to be. It’s a shame that so much gets ruined and so much crap gets a start at all.

The world is changing and at times it appears to be rotting too. We are doing nothing to make sure the best of the best succeed and instead we’re telling everyone to go do it. Folks, if you don’t have the talent then go do something else. Find what you’re good and thrive but don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re good at something your not. Don’t push too hard in one direction if you’re not making any headway. Sometimes it’s best to look around and weigh your options and focus on what your best at. Soujah Boy I’m talking to you too. Stop pretending your stupid dance moves and cheesy lyrics are worth anything and stop telling yourself that your  not the worst thing to happen to hip hop since Vanilla Ice. I’m sick of the lack of A grade talent and we all need to find a cure for mediocrity.

Newsbusters, they’re great!

“Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature.”
- Helen Keller

We want to feel safe, and it’s good and healthy for us to have relationships and home space in which we do. But, it can be limiting to require a perfect sense of security everywhere we go. Life is uncertain, and much of what we get to do with our lives is make decisions about how to best manage risks-not avoid them! Each day we get out of bed, we begin our interaction with risk. Once we accept that complete security is a myth, we can face life more honestly, viewing it as an unpredictable adventure. Instead of trying to control our lives, we can explore them!

“The self is not something that one finds. It is something one creates.” -Thomas Szasz

“he needed to find himself,” we say about someonewho went through the proverbial midlife crisis. What is there to find? We carry our turest self with us wherever we go. Traveling and tring new things can spark our creativity and help us understand ourselves better, but we don’t need to go anywhere to start the daily work of creating a healthy self.
More productive than any drastic lifestyle change or spontaneous purchaase, acts of listening are how we begin the process of creating ourselves. Then we can build, block-by-block the self we crave!

Wonder what you would find if you frisked Oprah’s Christmas Special?

Answer: More of the Obamas!

Yay! How excited are we all? After all, we never get to see the Messiah on the television anymore… Wait a minute?

There’s nothing like another Obama media blitz to welcome the holiday season:

The queen of daytime will interview the president of the country during an ABC holiday special that brings together Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama.

The queen of daytime will interview the president of the country during an ABC holiday special that brings together Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama.

Make sure you mark this on your calendar folks! Oprah’s “Christmas at the White House” will air Sunday, December 13, at 10 p.m.

I sure hope he brings his teleprompter along for the show to help answer those REALLY tough questions that will be thrown his way like:

• “Michelle, which of your 26 personal assistants is your favorite?”
• “How’s your dog?”
• “Now that you have saved the economy, what Bush caused disaster will you fix next?”

I can see how the show will play out now…

Side-Note: Is there any hope that the Obamas will beat the ratings that Sarah Palin gave The Oprah Show? I highly doubt it.

It’s almost Thanksgiving again.

Wasn’t it just the Fourth of July?

But the leaves are falling,

and it’s colder than fuck.

So it must be time again to stuff our birds and our fat ugly faces.

It’s almost time for the fattest nation on earth,

to eat themselves into a triptafan induced coma.

Thanksgiving.

It’s just another holiday.

Just another excuse to spend too much.

Another excuse to eat too much.

Another excuse to drink too much.

Another excuse to capitalize on a national tradition.

Another excuse for corporate America to exploit the masses.

By creating a massive obligation for everyone to be thankful – whether they are or not.

But what if you’re not thankful?

What if you’re not in the mood to celebrate?

What if you’re now so poor that you can’t afford a fucking turkey dinner with all the trimmings?

What if your Thanksgiving dinner will consist of a plate of Top Ramen formed into the shape of a fucking turkey?

And washed down with a glass of Thunderbird?

Are you supposed to be thankful for this?

Maybe so.

Maybe that’s what Thanksgiving is.

A day to show our gratitude,

our appreciation,

our thankfulness.

No matter what your present circumstances are.

But unfortunately, most people are not grateful.

They’re not thankful.

They feel entitled.

Who are these pompous assholes?

That create a dinner that becomes more of an ego statement than a culinary delight.

That’s not gratitude.

That’s decadence.

Look at my turkey dinner,

Look at my table,

Look at my decorations,

Look at me.

Fuck you!

Take that turkey and shove it up your fat ass,

I’m going to Denny’s!

Moving on.

Have you ever noticed that the word “Thanksgiving” doesn’t make any fucking sense.

Think about it.

Thanksgiving.

Just because these two words were put together,

doesn’t make it proper English (Public schools).

Somebody made this shit up.

Thanksgiving!

What the fuck does that mean?

Maybe it should have been “Thank You Day,”

or “Thanks a Lot Day.”

or “Giving Thanks Day.”

But who are we thanking anyway?

Am I supposed to thank you?

You didn’t do a fucking thing for me all year.

Fuck you!

Are we supposed to thank our government?

For what, trying to destroy the American Dream?

Fuck you Bush!

Maybe we’re supposed to thank God?

Or Mother Nature?

Or the Universe?

Maybe that’s it?

Maybe we’re supposed to show our gratitude for the things we all take for granted?

Like our planet,

like our lives, 

like the lives of others.

And we show our “thanks” by creating a feast and “giving” it to our friends and loved ones.

Now I get it. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

© 2009 OMW