hi, all… phlizz get your best pillow, find your best position, prepare your snack n fasten your seatbelt – coz i think i’m gonna write something like a very very long long posting tonight – or maybe a never ending posting…? who knows…

i’m gonna write about : MY MOM – my beloved mommy, t’ best one in t’ world

who is she?

(wait a moment phlizz… change subtitle into bahasa ahh… hahaha…)

pheww, tenang deh udah balik ke bahasa nyak hehe… bukan apa2, blibet nulisnya ntar kalo pake bahasa nenek moyang sono, tar postingnya gag jadi2 hehe…

my mommy adalah seorang wanita biasa, yang dengan kewanitabiasaannya memiliki sebuah kekuatan yang luar biasa : kekuatan untuk menjaga keluarga kami agar tetap bersama dalam keadaan apapun. kekuatan untuk menjadi seorang istri yang selalu mendampingi sang suami dalam susah dan senang, dengan kesabarannya, dengan spiritnya, dengan kasih sayangnya… kekuatan untuk senantiasa menjadi seorang ibu yang tersenyum bagi kami anak2nya, sehingga di masa kanak2 kami, kami tak pernah mengetahui bahwa ada banyak masa sulit yang dilaluinya… banyak hal yang baru kami ketahui ketika kami dewasa, di kala masa sulit tersebut telah berlalu… membawa kekagumanku padanya makin dalam, makin hormat padanya…

ibuku perpustakaan pertamaku.

tepat kiranya slogan dari perpustakaan nasional tersebut, bahwa seorang ibu adalah perpustakaan pertama bagi anak2nya. my mom adalah orang pertama yang mengajarkanku bacaan sholat, cara sholat dan doa2… mamahku juga membelikanku buku seri ‘khazanah pengetahuan’ di usiaku yang masih sangat dini… di usiaku yang ke-2 katanya aku sudah bisa menghitung dalam bahasa inggris 1-20, dan menghapal banyak nama hewan dalam bahasa inggris. aku bisa membaca di usia 3 tahun juga bukan dari les atau playgroup, my mommy taught me those things!

mamahkyu guru bahasa pertamakyu.

di usia 6 tahun beliau membelikan aku kamus bahasa inggris dengan gambar2 yang menyenangkan, cerita2 tradisional dalam bahasa inggris beserta kasetnya, untuk diperdengarkan padaku. kenapa gag dibaca sendiri ya sama my mom? karna my mom can not speak english! hehehe… bisa2 dikit doang geto, yah cukup ngerti what’s your name, no smoking, ladies n gentlemen… kekekkekkk… kidding mom… pisss . mamaku bisanya bahasa jerman karna beliau kuliah di D3 sastra jerman  (jaman duluuuu….banget deh…hehe…). nah dengan semangat ‘45 mama juga mencuba transfer knowledge bahasa jerman itu ke aku… tapi dasar akunya dodol (*lol*) ngapalin 1-10 aja sebulan gag apal2, belum lagi kata2 kerja jerman yang ada jenis kelaminnya itu (iya, khan, ada yang jenis jantan, kata kerja banci pake kata gantinya apa…ih bener, kok ketawa seh??? tanya aja deh sama yang bisa basa jerman, kalo aku khan emang aliran sesat *lol*)

yupzzz, akhirnya beliau angkat tangan, gag ngajarin aku basa jerman lagi hehehe… ya udah deh, blajar bahasa inggris aja n ngaji, dipanggilin lah guru ngaji supaya lebih teratur belajarnya. kalo bahasa inggris belajar dari budeku yang di jogja sama liat2 kamus bahasa inggris, abis penasaran sama isi buku cerita yang dibeliin mamah itu… knapa gag blajar ma papah? karna papaku juga inggrisnya agak2 sesat jugah hahaha…

mamahkyu guru gambarkyu.

padahal mamah gag bisa gambar! yah bukan kayak pak tino sidin lah, gambarnya hehehe… pertama kali mamah jadi guru gambarku pas aku tk, aku terpaksa gag masuk. pada saat itu lagi ada jam menggambar, ceritanya menggambar payung dan mobil kayaknya kalo gag salah… aku tuh pingiiin banget ngewarnain dua gambar itu, tapi karna gag masuk ya gag dapet gambar dari guruku. di rumah manyun… mamah langsung ambil kertas n bolpen, berusaha gambar payung n mobil itu… mmm… payung oke, looks like payung… n the car – what about it? well, gag tau sengaja ato nggak, yang jelas kayaknya mamah gambar bajaj deh waktu itu… kata mamah, mamah bisanya gambar mobil kayak gini hehehe… senangnya akyu jadi bisa mewarnai 2 gambar itu… n jadinya aku jadi demen gambar bajaj n payung setelah itu… thanks mamah tino sidin!!!

mamahkyu guru matematikakyu.

sepanjang kelas 1 sd gag puas rasanya kalo matematika gag dapet 10 (jieehhhhh…gaya…pamerrrr… ) gag kok, bukan pamer, soalnya mamah tuh kalo ngajarin matematika endang gurindang margotob deh! gag kayak bayangan orang kalo blajar math itu stressful, manyun2, ngantuk – no way! mamah bisa bikin suasana blajar math itu jadi fun! selalu enak untuk memecahkan soal2 baru… nah pada suatu ketika, guruku memberi soal baru yang sebelumnya belum pernah dipelajari. dan disuruh langsung dikerjakan di sekolah. gag tau aku yang lagi dodol or salah persepsi sama ajaran si guru math di sekolah… TADAAAA…. dapet NOL BESAR, dong bowww…. alias salah semwa!!!

huaaaaaa…. pulang sekolah cemberut n nangis bombayyyy kuch kuch hotae… agak2 takut gitu bilangnya ke mamah… math dapet nol….HUAAAAAA….. berlinang air mata seember, antara sebel karena o’on dan takut dimarahin mamah… n u know what?? mamah dengan tenang malah ketawa2 n bilang, gapapa… pertama kali dapet nol yang penting kan gag berkali-kali hehehe… coba kita lihat bareng2 di mana salahnya… blesss…langsung legaaaaa… thx a lotzz mom!! duh gag kebayang kalo beliau langsung marah2 n memaki2 gimana sih, gitu aja gag bisa… wah yang ada aku bisa benci math seumur hidupku! kira2 aku bisa gag ya sebijak itu kalo terjadi pada allz? hope so… thx a lotzz…mom…

mamahkyu sang psikolog.

curhat apa aja sama mamah bisa, karna mamahku tipe yang suka memberi solusi bukannya malah manas-manasin. banyak hal yang sudah aku curhatin ke mamah, dari dulu hingga aku sudah menikah saat ini pun suka curhat ke mamah dalam batas2 yang wajar, dan alhamdulillah selalu memberi solusi bagi permasalahanku. mamahku tidak selalu membela aku walau aku anaknya, apabila dalam permasalahanku memang aku yang salah, maka mamah akan menyarankan aku untuk mengalah dan meminta maaf duluan.

walo bukannya kita gag pernah berantem… pernah sih, secara mamahku juga orang yang cukup blak-blakan… (dan suka memaksakan pendapat hahaha…) biasa deh, anak gadis kalo lagi puber khan ada2 aja yang berbeda point of view-nya sama sang mamah… but finally selalu happy ending. gag pernah bisa lama kalo marahan sama mamah. karna aku pasti merasa bersalah dan akan minta maap sambil bermanja2, yah kadang pake nangis2 sey hehehe… abis surga khan di telapak kaki ibu…

mamahkyu sang dokter anak.

kalo allz kenapa2, pasti mamah ikut sedih dan berusaha sekuat tenaga gimana caranya agar cucunya ceria kembali. tips-tips seputar bayi dan anak banyak kudapat dari beliau… ketika dalam kandungan mamah selalu mengontrol makanku, gimana keadaanku, bagaimana babynya… dan segala hal yang membuatku menjadi orang paling beruntung karna diperhatikan terutama oleh 2 orang yang kusayangi, yakni suamiku dan mamahku. mamah yang menenangkan aku dari kekhawatiran berlebihan apabila berat allz turun atau tidak naik dengan cepat… katanya yang penting anaknya sehat… mamah udah kayak eyang dokter buat allz hehehe…

mamahkyu my chef guru.

mamah waktu di surabaya suka bikin2 kueh nyoba resep. kalo masak sih emang udah suka n sukses. tapi untuk urusan bikin kueh… pssst jangan bilang2 yah… masih sering gagal!!! yang aku inget tuh pas bikin bolu gulung, kok gag bisa digulung bolunya, pas udah dingin digulung malah patah-patah kayak annisa bahar… akhirnya pantang menyerah, bikin lagi tapi ditipisin adonan yang dituang ke loyang… hyaaaa… jadilah kue kering hihihihi…. akhirnya kalo mw bolu gulung kita beli ajjah haha…

trus bikin sus pernah vla-nya terlalu cair, jadinya kita makan susnya kaya makan puding, disiram vla hehehe… giliran vla-nya sukses, kulit susnya gagal ngembang, kuncuuuup terus hahaha… untungnya kita anak2 yang maruk, jadi tetep kita makan sampe abiezzz… yang mamah gag pernah gagal tuh bikin cake biasa, kroket telor (mmmm so yummy bangedddd…) n sayap ayam isi, o iya n puding gula merah santen… ini aku lagi pingin nyari resepnya, pingin nyoba bikin lagi, dari femina jadul taun 80-an pas doi ikut demo masak femina…

tapi lucunya kegagalan2 mamah itu memacu aku tuk cari tau kira2 kenapa yah, dulu kok bisa gagal dengan sukses hehehe… dan ada aja jalan dari Allah untuk menunjukkan tips2 antigagal atas kueh2 mamah yang dulu itu… ya sudah deh, jadilah aku kecemplung di experimental kitchen ini (yang postingannya masih jarang ini lhooo… )

rasanya takkan pernah habis kenangan indahku bersama mamah. aku masih teringat air matanya di saat aku dan adikku menikah… rasa syukurnya di saat aku dan adik2ku lulus kuliah… kebahagiaan dan rasa syukurnya di saat kelahiran cucu-cucunya… doa2nya yang tak pernah lepas dari bibirnya untuk mendoakan kami, anak2nya yang badung… (terutama si sulung ini nih, yang suka bikin ulah… eh, syapa sih si sulung itu… wah maap ya saya gag kenal, saya orang baru di sini…hehehe…)

mah, mamah tu ibu terhebat bagiku… rasanya gag habis2 menuliskan sesuatu tentang diri mamah… thank you for being my mom… maafin mba fanty yah, yang masih belum bisa membahagiakan mamah…

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I LOP U FULL, MOM… U’RE ALWAYS BE MY INSPIRATION

SELAMAT HARI IBU

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, UTI...!

tulisan ini aku dedikasikan untuk mamahku tercinta… menuliskan posting ini membuatku meneteskan air mata kebahagiaan… semoga Allah SWT selalu memberi mamah lindungan dan ridho-Nya, memberikan mamah kebahagiaan dan usia panjang dalam menjalankan ketaatan pada-Mu, Ya Allah, amiin… Ya Allah, tolong berilah keberkahan pada mamahku, amiinnn…

met bobo, mamah sayang… mmmuaahhhhhh…. (depok, 30 november 2009, 00:20)

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tulisan ini aku ikut sertakan dalam acara mas Guskar -  Karnaval Blog : Minum Teh Bersama Ibu.

thanks, mas guskar atas kesempatannya untuk mengingatkan kembali  kenangan2 indah bersama mamahku tercinta… aku rasa aku akan print ini untuk kado hari ibu bagi mamah, semoga beliau berkenan ya… o ya, ini artikel terpanjangkyu lhooo, sampai 1500 kata!

Earlier this month, I wrote about the profound feeling of gratitude for an ordinary life.   So today, I thought I’d list the things I am thankful for that do not add meaning or depth or importance to my life but I am thankful for nonetheless.

I am thankful for:

Dr.Pepper.

Dr. Seuss.

Claude Monet.

Jeopardy.

Toenail polish, nay, pedicures.

My Nikon, digital photography, and low aperture lenses.

Chocolate.

Pre-Packaged, purchase-able, Panko breadcrumbs.

Alliteration. *see above

The Postal Service.

Trivial Pursuit.

Make-up.

Online Banking.

Dishwashers.

Super Wal-Mart.

Cute Shoes.

Risotto.

Food Network.

Inside Jokes.

Christmas lights.  Anytime of the year.

Amazon.com.

Big Earrings. 

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas.

Parades.

Wedding gowns.

Second Chances.  (oops, verging on the profound.)

Baby’s head smell.

New hair styles.

Country music.

IKEA.

Photo slideshows set to music.

The circus.

And Puppies. 

Most definitely puppies.

I could add about a hundred more food items to the list.  And apparently I’m more superficial than I was aware of.  (shoes, earrings, makeup, hair. . .wow!)

This was fun.

Maybe start a new tradition.  We all know what we’re truly thankful for.  It’s important to remember those things.  Hopefully we remember to be grateful for them more than once a year. 

I try to practice an attitude of gratitude regarding my family, friends, health, wealth, home, and other blessings.  And my oh my, am I ever thankful for God’s grace and faithfulness.

But I hardly ever think about the little things.  I’m glad I did.

i used to be the kind of person who goes on bad dates for the material, just for the trash material of ordinary random life. and it was addicting i got a bunch of crap to draw about later. the thing is, life is kinda more important than zines and sketchbooks with weird funny depressing hater stories, sometimes you want the real shit! and sometimes you don’t have to go through stuff yourself cause you can relate to other people’s shit in life. sometimes i go for stephin merritt, aidan moffatt, larry david, harvey pekar, peter bagge, but tonite it’s henry rollins! yeahhh!

Sono passato per caso da qui a  tentare di inserire una tag cloud(senza riuscirci per altro) e mi sono accorto quasi per caso ceh il contatore segnava 1003 visite. Che dal 3 giugno , giorno in cui ho aperto, fanno piu o meno6,6866666666667 visite al giorno. non male dato che pensavo che dopo 1settimana avrei chiuso:D Invece no, sembra resistere.E stavo anche pensando di passare su un hosting dedicato su cui aprire un mio dominio ma ci penserò un po su prima di buttare 30 euro per un anno. Poi dando un’occhiata alle statistiche che mi passa wordpress ho notato che ci sono 5 commenti. per 15 post. piu una ventina di spam bloccati per fortuna. Bhe ma scusate già che ci perdete tempo a passarci scrivete almeno ciao-.-

Che poi facendo 2 conti : 1003 visite. togliamone un 60 mie quando entro a cazzeggiare, facciamo 100. Ne rimangono 900 . togliamo quelli che hanno lasciato i commenti,ipotizzando che ci siano anche ritornati qualche volta ne rimangono 860. E in 860,  ipotizzandole come visite uniche(897 persone diverse), non c’è nessuno a cui piace il film di elvis??????????

Stiamo propio messi male.

Emmett “Doc” Lathrop Brown

It’s my birthday.  As I sit here in the early morning, before anyone else is up, I contemplate the day.  It’s always awkward at work.  I haven’t specifically told my co-workers, though I know that at least a couple people know.  Do I want attention or do I want to just be left alone?  A little of both.  I usually take my birthday off from work to avoid this kind of thing, but I didn’t this year.

Last weekend I went up to my parents’ house to see them and also because my sister and nephew were in town.  On Saturday, my dad & I had a heart-to-heart in the kitchen while the ladies got ready to go to lunch.  It simultaneously breaks my heart and fills it up to know how much both he and my mom love me and want me to be okay. I want it, too.  I realize now that I have always skirted depression, but in earlier years, I chalked it up to artistic melancholy.  It never lasted very long because I was able to bounce back pretty well.  This time it’s just taking a bit longer to bounce back.   It’s a very frustrating place to be when your rational and logical mind knows exactly what you’re supposed to be doing to not feel this way but the rest of you just doesn’t want to cooperate.  I don’t know how better to explain it.  I can tell myself over and over again that in order to feel better I have to do A, B, and C.  It’s a completely different thing to actually do those things.

My mom, sister & I went to Lizarran in Fullerton for tapas which were served up by a Mexican named Raoul.  The food was good for the most part, the best being the bread with tomato and garlic.  The simplest dish was the tastiest and most satisfying.  Now if that’s not a recipe for a life lesson…

After lunch, we came home and each of us drifted off to different things.  Coming together to talk or going off to read or nap.  It was all acceptable.  That’s one reason I love coming home.  I can do absolutely whatever feels right and it’s okay.  I tend to always want to rest or nap when I’m there.

For dinner, I exerted my authority as the early birthday girl and chose to go to El Cholo for some delicious Mexican food.  The service was great and the food was fantastic.  We told them it was my birthday so they came around to clap and sing while I wore a gigantic sombrero.  I also got a free flan that my mom & I shared.  It was tasty.

We were all stuffed so after the requisite photos in front of the restaurant, we headed home.  The rest of the night was TV watching and chatting, reading and falling asleep on various pieces of furniture.

On Sunday morning, we all roused naturally and Dad made chocolate chip waffles plus eggs and potatoes.  So good.  At one point, I went outside to the back yard by myself.  It was a gorgeous morning and the sun was shining brightly.  There was a moment as I stood looking at the garden when things seemed absolutely right.  And more than that, I had a feeling that everything was going to be just fine.  Perhaps a moment of clarity, but I remember feeling completely at peace.  Maybe it was a flash of deja vu, or some kind of time warp of when I lived there in high school and all my adult life lay ahead of me and was full of possibility.  I felt that same kind of easy anticipation, of not knowing what’s to come but knowing it will all work out.

Not long after breakfast, it was time to head back to San Diego by way of the grocery store.  Han was also heading back from Las Vegas around the same time I was leaving.  The drive home was easy, uneventful and we had a nice night.

It was great to be with my family over the weekend.  Sandy is looking amazing as she continues her weight loss journey.  My dad has also joined WW and I wish him great success.  My mom is a sweet soul who only wants the best for me.  Tristan is growing up well.   We’ll see them all again at Christmas (maybe Mom & Dad sooner but I’m not sure).

Now it’s time to get to the day. Tonight the Rock Band is playing at the Belly-Up and I hope some of our friends come out for that and for my birthday.  Here’s hoping for a great day!

Soon you’ll be there too.

I originally wrote this post last Thursday (11/5).  I’m not sure why I didn’t post it then, maybe I thought I’d have time to write more (typical).  But I didn’t so here’s this post.  Things have been very busy.

I went to the doctor this morning. It was not my regular doctor, but I thought she was great and I want to switch to her as my primary.

My blood pressure was fabulous. I’ve lost 4 pounds since my last visit (7 since the summer visit). My leg thing she figures is the IT band tightening and compressing a nerve in my leg. She said she was not concerned by it. She said to stretch every day and to just monitor it. If it gets worse or too irritating, she’ll refer me for physical therapy.

Then we got to the panic attack. I talked for a bit (emotionally so as is my penchant) and we discussed some various options including medication (like Paxil or Zoloft) and therapy. I’m still unsure about medication and she said that she wouldn’t suggest that as an option right now, but to try therapy again. There’s a program through the office there that isn’t covered by insurance but may be affordable. They are going to call me. Then, as I was waiting to have my blood drawn (for a basic metabolic screening to make sure the BP meds aren’t messing with my kidneys), I saw it there in black and white under Diagnoses: hypertension and depression.

Cara Valentina il tempo non fa il suo dovere
e a volte peggiora le cose
credimi pensavo davvero di avere superato
il momento difficile
ed ancora adesso non mi è chiaro lo sbaglio che ho fatto
se il vero sbaglio è stato il mio
perchè dai miei trent’anni ti aspettavi un uomo
col senso del dovere
perchè chi s’innamora non deve dirlo a nessuno
oppure un’imprudente enfatica demenza
nel farti le carezze girata dall’altra parte
Ho la strana sensazione di un amore acceso
esploso troppo presto fra le mani
e cara Valentina che fatica innaturale perdonare a me stesso
di essere io di essere fatto così male
cara Valentina il tempo non fa il suo dovere
e a volte peggiora le cose

E tu sarai il pretesto
per approfondire
un piccolo problema
personale di filosofia
su come trarre giovamento
dal non piacere agli altri
come in fondo ci si aspetta che sia

Per esempio non è vero
che poi mi dilungo spesso
su un solo argomento…

Io non so cantare. Cara Valentina ha un testo bellissimo. Prova a cantarla. Io non ci riesco, nemmeno a stonarla. Come Rimmel e Buonanotte Fiorellino. Due minuti in più in macchina e sarei dovuta scendere, poiché m’ero già spogliata abbastanza. Cara Valentina è una di quelle canzoni che adoro che non riesco a cantare nemmeno per sbaglio, che faccio fatica ad immaginare diversa da come la canta Max Gazzè.

Come i live dei Radiohead del 18 giugno e il live degli Smashing Pumpkins di febbraio. Billy Corgan è impazzito ma io il live dei concerti di febbraio 2008 non riesco a cantarli. E c’ero, eh. Non riesco nemmeno a sbagliare i testi. Posso solo ascoltarli. Un po’ come Muzzle che fa venire i brividi nello stomaco e i pianti, tutti insieme instantaneamente come se avessi la febbre a 40. Come How to disappear completely che devo scrivere ogni volta, sperando che mi passi.
Non importa dove sono e cosa sto facendo.

Un po’ come la mia amica che si sposa.
Non riesco a dirlo perché mi si blocca il fiato in gola e posso solo mettermi le mani sulla bocca perché sono in ufficio e mi diventano le gote rosse e scendono le lacrime da sole.

Come la voglia carica di dire le cose. Sempre troppo presto, sempre troppo in fretta. Per paura di ingoiarle, di mangiarle senza contarle e vomitarle poi subito perché non riesco a tenermele.
Quasi quasi te le leggo e te le registro: forse viene meglio.

hi there…

meet allz here … my mimi gave me a BLOG to let me share all happiness and useful things in my world. thanks, mimi!

anyone who wants to join me, phlizzz come into my playground – u’re alwayz welcome!!!

just peep into http://allzz.wordpress.com

see ya…

…

…

WELCOME !!!

I’ve already bombed out on NaBloPoMo, but I’ll try to make it up. Plus I think I have a good reason.

Here’s what happened. Yesterday, I went to the grocery store after work. Actually, both Target and the grocery store because Target is much cheaper on most of the staples. With the time change, it was already dark when I got home. I’ve also been having this strange numbness in my left thigh and it was acting up. There was still dinner to make and work to do. I sat down on the couch for a minute or two, and I felt my heart start pounding, my breathing became irregular and tears came to my eyes. I think I had a small panic attack.

Han sent me to the bedroom immediately to lie down and relax while he made dinner. I recovered quickly and am fine now, but it was weird. I already had a doctor appointment scheduled for Monday, but I just changed it to Thursday. I’ll be sure to bring up all of these occurrences then. Weird.

I got up and ate dinner, watched the baseball game and then I went to sleep around 9:30 pm. Like I said, today I feel fine, but I’m glad I could switch my appointment. So that’s my story of why I didn’t post yesterday.

~~~

I also feel terrible that I didn’t complete all of my “haunted” posts in October. I even had something figured out for all the remaining days! I’ll try to slip them in throughout November, too, because they were good ones!

For Halloween, I was Bellatrix Lastrange from Harry Potter. It was all homemade but it worked. Here’s a group shot from a party I went to. On my left arm that’s extended is the Dark Mark, done in sharpie by one of my co-workers. In my right hand, I’m holding my “wand,” a stick from a tree in our front yard. This photo is also on Facebook if you want to see it bigger.

Okay, so here’s one of the things I was going to post for “haunted” and it fits in with what I did during the day of Halloween. It’s all the ‘reality’ ghost shows that are on: Ghost Hunters, Ghost Lab, Ghost Adventures. During Halloween day, I watched a marathon of Ghost Hunters. I just love it! And a week or two ago, I saw an episode of Ghost Lab from New Orleans that was really cool. They are both basically the same kind of set-up, but I’m a believer and these kinds of shows help validate that!

Until next time.

I think it’s safe to say that most of the readers of this blog greatly admire the saints.  We look to them as our role models for living the fullness of the Christian life.  “They inspire us by their heroic lives.”[1] “Their glory fills us with joy, and their communion with us…gives us inspiration and strength…” [2]

We know some of their stories.  Some spent hours in deep prayer every day (Teresa of Avila), with little sleep to boot (John Vianney); others spent their days in selfless service to the poor and homeless (Mother Teresa); still others worked tirelessly in hospitals ministering to the sick (Elizabeth of Hungary), or built orphanages (John Bosco), or schools (Elizabeth Ann Seton).  And then we look at our own lives and think, I just don’t have what it takes to be like that; I don’t have what it takes to be a saint.

“A MISTAKEN NOTION OF HOLINESS”

It seems to me, however, that many of us have a skewed understanding of what it means to be holy.  In 2002, Cardinal Ratzinger—now Pope Benedict—addressed this precise issue on the occasion of the canonization of St. Josemaría Escrivá (the founder of Opus Dei).  Acknowledging that the canonization process includes an investigation into heroic virtue, then-Cardinal Ratzinger stated that this idea of heroic virtue could lead us to have a “mistaken notion of holiness.”  “‘It is not for me,’ we are led to think, ‘because I do not feel capable of attaining heroic virtue. It is too high a goal.’ Holiness then becomes a thing reserved for some  ‘greats’ whose images we see on the altars, and who are completely different from us ordinary sinners. But this is a mistaken notion of holiness, a wrong perception which has been corrected…precisely by Josemaría Escrivá.’”

In other words, when we look at the statues or portraits of saints, or when we hear their stories, we admire them; but if we’re honest with ourselves, in our heart of hearts, we perceive this vast chasm between them and us.  We fail to think, That is my calling.  I, too, am called to be holy; my ultimate calling is to be a saint.

IS IT REALLY FOR ME?

This is why we must ask some questions: What does it mean to be a saint?  What does it mean to be holy?  Are you meant to be a saint if you are a busy—and overwhelmed—mother or father?  A stockbroker?  A student?  A lawyer?  A construction worker?   A recovering addict?  Surely it’s not possible to be a saint if you are in the world.  Saints are those who cut themselves off from the world and hide away in monasteries and convents, right?  But if that is our understanding of what it means to be a saint, the Pope tells us emphatically that we are wrong.

“Heroic virtue does not mean that the saint performs a type of ‘gymnastics’ of holiness, something that normal people do not dare to do. It means rather that in the life of a person God’s presence is revealed—something man could not do by himself and through himself… Heroic virtue properly speaking does not mean that one has done great things by oneself, but rather that in one’s life there appear realities which the person has not done himself, because he has been transparent and ready for the work of God. Or, in other words, to be a saint is nothing other than to speak with God as a friend speaks with a friend. This is holiness.”

A CORRECTED VISION

Imagine, for all these years many of us have thought that being a saint means undertaking harsh penances, spending 16 hours a day in contemplation, living in a monastery or convent, and having mystical revelations (spiritual gymnastics, as Pope Benedict calls it).  But then Pope Benedict stuns us with a simple revelation: “to be a saint is nothing other than to speak with God as a friend speaks with a friend.  This is holiness.”  Wow!

The Pope, of course, is not saying that holiness isn’t difficult or a lot of hard work.  Penance, prayer, and service are all important means to holiness.  What he is saying, however, is that holiness is God’s work in us. It’s not something we do on our own; it is a work of God’s grace.  This is why if a person is to be holy, it all begins in entering into a deep friendship with God and speaking with Him, friend to friend.

This friend-to-friend dialogue opens us up to new vistas.  When we are completely transparent with the Lord and we allow Him to shine His light into the depths of our souls, He shows us our strengths as well as where we need to change.  It is this heart-to-heart dialogue that starts us on the path to heroic virtue and holiness.

ORDINARY LIFE

So how are you supposed to live heroic virtue?  As St. Josemaria tells us, it’s in the very ordinariness of daily life that we live heroic virtue and holiness.  It’s in being: the most loving and patient parent, the most forgiving and tender spouse, the most diligent student, the most honest and trustworthy employer or employee, or the most prayerful and selfless priest or religious.  And all of these virtues flows from a vibrant interior friendship with the Lord.  In fact, when the ordinariness of our day is lived in union with the Lord, the most mundane tasks are infused with supernatural meaning.

So how about you?  I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on what it means to be holy and how this translates into your daily life.  You can post a comment.  Your thoughts may help others.

Also, for the sake of shameless self-promotion, feel free to take a look at ordering my book.  I know it is written for seminarians, but many non-seminarians have told me that it has been spiritually helpful to them.

[2] Preface for the Solemnity of All Saints

Photograph – Jamie Cullum

Photograph by Jamie Cullum

Her name was written on the photograph,
right next to her red, sunburnt face,
it all had happened in that long tall grass,
about a mile from her old place,
I can’t remember how it started and if it lasted that day in the sun.

We said that we were going to study hard,
we held our books instead of hands,
she held a blanket over cans of beer,
I can’t deny I was so full of fear.

It’s just another story caught up in another photograph I found.
and it seems like another person lived that life a great many years ago from now,

When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.
when I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

And there’s the first time that I tried that stuff,
I think I look a little green,
I remember throwing up behind a bush,
and I found it hard to use my feet,
and who’s that easily led little boy who’s really off his head?

It was the same night that I kissed that girl,
the tall one with the auburn hair,
I remember laughing coz to kiss me,
she had to sit down on a chair!
she tasted like the schnapps she’d drunk,
and the cigarette she’d stolen from her mum.

And it’s just another story caught up in another photograph I found.

When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.
When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life,
I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

Há suficiente traição, ódio/ violência/ Absurdo no ser humano

comum/ Para abastecer qualquer exército a qualquer momento.

/ E Os Melhores Assassinos São Aqueles/ Que Pregam Contra o

Assassinato./ E Os Melhores No Ódio São Aqueles/Que Pregam

AMOR/ E OS MELHORES NA GUERRA/ – ENFIM – SÂO AQUELES

QUE PREGAM / PAZ

Aqueles Que Pregam DEUS/ PRECISAM de Deus/ Aqueles Que

Pregam Paz / Não Têm Paz./ AQUELES QUE PREGAM AMOR

NÃO TÊM AMOR/ CUIDADO COM OS PREGADORES/ Cuidado Com

Os Conhecedores.

Cuidado/ Com Aqueles/ Que Estão SEMPRE/ LENDO/ LIVROS

Cuidado Com Aqueles Que Ou Detestam/

A Pobreza Ou Orgulham-se Dela/

CUIDADO Com Aqueles Rápidos Em Elogiar/

Pois Eles Precisam De LOUVOR Em Retorno/

CUIDADO Com Aqueles Que Rápidos Em Censurar:/

Eles Temem O Que/ Desconhecem/

Cuidado Com Aqueles Que Procuram Constantemente/ Multidões;

Eles Não São Nada/ Sozinhos

Cuidado/ O Homem Vulgar/

A Mulher Vulgar/ CUIDADO Com O Amor Deles/

Seu Amor É Vulgar, Busca/ Vulgaridade/ Mas Há Força

Em Seu Ódio/ Há Força Suficiente Em Seu/

Ódio Para Matá-lo, Para Matar/ Qualquer Um.

Não Esperando Solidão/ Não Entendendo Solidão/ Eles Tentarão

Destruir/ Qualquer Coisa/ Que Difira/ Deles Mesmos/

Não Sendo Capazes/ De Criar Arte/ Eles Não/ Entenderão A Arte/

Considerarão Seu Fracasso/ Como Criadores/

Apenas Como Falha/ Do Mundo/

Não Sendo Capazes De Amar Plenamente/ Eles ACREDITARÃO Que

Seu Amor É/ Incompleto/ ENTÃO TE ODIARÃO/

E Seu Ódio Será Perfeito/ Como Um Diamante Brilhante/

Como Uma Faca/ Como Uma Montanha/ COMO UM TIGRE/

COMO Cicuta/

Sua Mais Refinada/ ARTE

Charles Bukowski.

This weekend was supposed to be amazing.  It was going to be epic.  I had been looking forward to it for months, ever since my beautiful wife splurged on an anniversary present by getting a VIP package to see U2 at the Rose Bowl.

The weekend began when I woke up this past Saturday with a bit of an upset stomach, but thought it was just something I ate. Didn’t feel well enough to go to a friend’s housewarming party that afternoon, so sent my wife without me. I then spent the next few hours in unexpected agony and threw up about 6 times on Saturday. No bueno. I could barely stand and laying down hurt too much, so I spent most of the day and night trying to find a comfortable sitting position.

Sunday was better, but not great. Decided to pull it together and go to the concert since my wife had saved up a lot of money towards this and there was no way we were going to miss the experience. I was managing the discomfort okay, thankful we had easy VIP parking right next to the gate and a short walk to our seats in the 5th row. Spent about half the show sitting down as the Black Eyed Peas opened the night and I thought the intense amount of low end would be the end of me, but I did okay.  Glad I did, because we got to see Slash come out and join the Peas doing Sweet Child of Mine. It was an awesome moment.

When u2 came on, it was surreal. The stage was so amazing and the crowd was electric. I was starting to feel pretty good. Unfortunately, I think Leslie caught something similar to me. She wasn’t feeling great during the VIP party, but she decided to ignore it and enjoy the show. About 10:30, 90 minutes into U2’s set, I looked over and she had tears welling up from her stomach pain. I think her tears were also partly because she didn’t want to be the reason we missed out on anything that night. However, I love my wife… way more than I love U2, so we left and missed the last hour of their set. I’ll see the end of the show someday on DVD. I’ll be with my wife for the rest of my life. It was an easy decision. I guess in some ways, it was still an amazing weekend afterall.

Si “nuovo”.Perchè per definire mia madre nuovo compagno di stanza ce ne vuole davvero.
Capita spesso che ragazzi fuori sede sentano la mancanza dei genitori e della famiglia in generale e soffrano cosi la distanza. Non è il mio caso. Quando 2 anni fa partii, ero felice si.Ma non solo perchè iniziava un nuovo capitolo della mia vita ma soprattutto perchè ero finalmente soto.Capita spesso(di nuovo) che non ci sia un bel rapporto tra genitori e figli. Capita spesso(di nuovo) che i genitori ce la mettano tutta per non far mancare nulla ai propri figli però non riescano a stare sulla stessa “lunghezza d’onda” del ragazzo. Bhe il mio è uno di questi casi, i miei non mi hanno mai fatto mancare nulla per quanto possibile ma per me sono sempre stati lontani.Soprattutto con mia madre, mai avuto un rapporto che potesse vagametne somigliare a quello che avevano tutti i miei amici con la loro di madre. sempre troppo fissata con la scuola, sempre e prima di tutto.Finchè con gli anni non ho cominciato a dire no, no e ancora no.Perchè ho tutta la pazienza di questo mondo ma con lei accanto più di mezz’ora non resisto. E allora ora iniziano i problemi, dover dividere la camera con lei fino al prossimo agosto non sarà per nulla semplice. Non si può vivere a 21 anni e mezzo nella stessa camera con tua madre per un anno.Perchè forse anch’io posso volere un minimo di privacy anche da lei.Perchè vorrei poter stare da solo 5minuti a pensare non con lei che mi parla sempre nell’orecchio per tutta la giornata. Già sono ansioso di mio, mi mancava giusto lei per completare il quadro.È la volta buona che faccio i bagagli e torno a casa. Sono stanco.Ogni volta che cerco di dare ordine alla mia vita, di regolarizzarmi di trovare il modo giusto per vivere al meglio arriva qualcosa che me la stravolge da capo.E non sempre ci si può adattare. Credo che questo sia uno di quei casi.

Emmett “Doc” Lathrop Brown

in summer. the power of impressionism

I received newsletter from WebProNews, and that is so interesting..

“A clear perception, there´s no redemption.”

# 19

Ghost in the Machine

Yes, a great album by The Police, but what does it mean?  I have always thought that this phrase stemmed from an explanation of sorts to define metaphorically why computers or other technological equipment have their occasional quirks.  However, in researching the phrase today, I didn’t find anything like that.

I did find some great references though that do  explain the phrase.  I link them here rather than trying to re-hash the psychological arguments that the phrase relates to:

http://garydexter.blogspot.com/2009/07/114-ghost-in-machine-by-arthur-koestler.html

http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/51/messages/1003.html

http://www.word-detective.com/back-y.html

In a nutshell, however, the “ghost” is the spirit and the “machine” is the body.  It’s an interesting concept.

But back to The Police.  It turns out Sting, being a well-read man, read Koestler which inspired much of the music (and of course, the title) of the 1981 album.  Consider the titles:

1. “Spirits in the Material World” – 2:59
2. “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” – 4:22
3. “Invisible Sun” – 3:44
4. “Hungry for You (J’aurais Toujours Faim de Toi)” – 2:52
5. “Demolition Man” – 5:57
6. “Too Much Information” – 3:43
7. “Rehumanize Yourself” (Sting, Stewart Copeland) – 3:10
8. “One World (Not Three)” – 4:47
9. “Ωmegaman” (Andy Summers) – 2:48 (“Omegaman” on some editions)
10. “Secret Journey“– 3:34
11. “Darkness” (Copeland) – 3:14

The whole album is a study in the technology of the world and how we interact with it.  And remember, this was 1981!  Think of how much more technology is embedded in our daily lives now and how some of us rely on it so heavily.  Smart rock.

~~~~

# 20

Give Up the Ghost

Another interesting phrase.  A euphemism for dying, or for something mechanical to quit working (maybe I was mixing up my meanings of ‘ghost in the machine’ with ‘give up the ghost’).

The phrase is in the King James Bible, but has an alternate metaphorical meaning (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/155500.html) to not be living and not able to become a ghost.

Again, I’ve always had somewhat of a different understanding of the phrase.  I interpreted it to convey or include a willingness to be finished or done.  As in the person who died or the item that shuts down is simply ready to do so and is okay with it.

It seems, from a literal standpoint, to be backwards.  If you give up the ghost, aren’t you really choosing the corporeal over the ethereal?  Still it’s a lovely phrase, alliterative, evocative.

Your Ghost
written & performed by: Steve Poltz
for John Lentz

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

And i can’t explain it there’s so much i could say to you
And so much is left unsaid and there’s nothing i can do
Nothing i can do yeah

I played your song last night and drank down my last beer
Skyway by westerberg but you weren’t there to hear
And i thought i saw an angel with you in the back
But when they turned the light down everything went black

And i thought of your mum and dad in you hometown
And your lovely sister and it slowly brought me down
Only brought me down yeah
I’d think of your sweet smile and how perfectly it fit
To you the world was a cookie jar and you had your hands in it

And i wish that i could take all the guns in this sick place
And melt them into coins and buy compassion for the human race
And i know that it sounds cliche but I’m tired of this violence
And the view is much different when your inside of the fence
I’m on the side of the sick fence yeah

Last night i looked for you but you could not be found
I felt your ghost in my room dancing all around
And i tried to talk to you but there was no reply
I sat up shaking in my bed and then i cried

I apologize for the lack of updates.  But I’m trying to make up for it with different ‘haunting’ moments for each day.  I hope you enjoy.

# 12

Marc Tiesen

Marc Tiesen was one of Han’s best friends in and after high school.  They were in bands together, wrote songs, got into trouble.  Sadly, Marc died 20 years ago from heart failure.  As long as I’ve known Han, I’ve known Marc’s name.  Over the years, I’ve met his mother and his sister.  One of Han’s songs was inspired by Marc.  It was actually the melody and some minimal lyrics that Marc came up that Han then finished after Marc’s death.  The Rock Band actually recorded the song on their CD.

With the advent of Facebook and its scary way of bringing people out of the woodwork, many of Han’s old friends have re-surfaced, some with the intention of putting together a tribute show to Marc.  One of these friends, Eric, came over last weekend.  He had also been in the bands along the way.  With him, he brought some old recordings, including one of the song that Marc improvised during a live show that became the complete song that Han recorded with Rock Band.  Han & Eric were in the other room, talking and reminiscing, then suddenly I heard the song, but it was really just the chorus that I recognized, the lilt and inflection of the melody.  And it was Marc.  I had never heard his voice before and the sensation that I felt was amazing, so I can only imagine how intense it was for Han to relive the moment and contemplate the years that have since passed.  Han explained that it was a live performance in front of a huge crowd and they were improvising and Marc just came up with this melody and these vague words.  I could tell it was really moving for Han to hear it.  Sometimes haunting is not scary, but beautiful.

~~~~

# 13

Thirteen great Halloween movies

I tried to make this list be just scary kind of haunting movies, but I couldn’t help throwing in a few funny ones.  These are all great flicks to get in the Halloween spirit.

1. The Others – One of Nicole Kidman’s best, and directed by a Chilean-born but raised in Spain director, his only English-speaking movie.  It is a classic suspense movie and I was not ready for the twist at the end.  Love this movie.

2. The Skeleton Key - I happened upon this one on cable one morning and was intrigued right away.  Old New Orleans, voodoo tales, and another nice twist.  I like Kate Hudson and she does a good job with this one.

3. Poltergeist - Still one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen, and one of the major reasons that clowns scare the crap out of me.  A true classic.

4. The Exorcist - I remember trying to watch this as a kid and just couldn’t get through it.  When I got older, I got through it, and it is scary.  As time has gone on, the effects may not be so magical, but it is the atmosphere and the mood of it all that heightens the fear for me.  I also think Exorcist 3 could be in the list.

5. What Lies Beneath - A suburban tale with Harrison Ford & Michele Pfeifer with that scary bathroom scene.  I will always watch this one when I find it on cable.

6. The Shining – Between scary Jack Nicholson, weird Shelly Duvall, and the haunted hotel, this movie, another classic, mixes the insane with the terrifying.

7. The Omen - I still can’t watch this movie after seeing it just the one time when I was younger.  This movie has always set the bar for me as a story of  pure evil.  Bad Damien.

8. 1408 - I saw this one recently.  It’s not super scary, but it’s a good story and an interesting concept.  I thought John Cusack was good in it.

9. (now the fun ones): Practical Magic - I adore this movie.  Between Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman (again!), you’ve also got Dianne Wiest and Stockard Channing, plus ghosts, magic and rituals.  Always a great one for Halloween.

10. Hocus Pocus – Another one that I will always watch if it’s on.  The threesome of Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker as three witchy sisters who come back to Salem after 300 years is just a good time.

11. The Witches of Eastwick - More Jack Nicholson and another Michelle Pfeifer film.  Well, plus Cher & Susan Sarandon.  These ladies conjure ol’ Jack and represent the ideal females, but their wiles work even on the devil.  Who can get over that cherry scene?

12. Beetlejuice - Poor ghosts Geena Davis & Alec Baldwin can’t scare away the family who’s moving into their house.  Winona Ryder can see them, but it takes Michael Keaton’s Beetlejuice to make things happen.  Catherine O’ Hara is classic in this one and the “Day-O” scene in the dining room still makes me giggle.

13. Scrooged - A double whammy since this one’s also good for Christmas.  I just saw this one again recently.  All the ghosts of Christmas are great and Bill Murray is great as the mean Frank X. Cross.

~~~~

# 14

The Haunted Mansion

I’m pretty sure I’ve confessed my love for this classic Disneyland ride more than once, but it truly is my favorite ride there.   It’s a complete experience even from the line.  I love how you don’t see the people getting off the ride and everything in between.  And I still hold that sometimes, there’s a knock on my doom buggy.

~~~~

#15

Lizzie Borden

Because we share the same name, I’ve been curious about this story for a while.  Last year, I did some research about it as I thought I might be her for Halloween.  We all know the rhyme, but as it turns out Lizzie Borden was acquitted of the crimes of killing her father and stepmother, though it was 1892 and the forensic evidence at the time wasn’t the greatest.  She went on to live a quiet life, supporting the arts and allegedly having an affair with an actress.  Her story, though, is still intriguing because the case was never solved and the story is still a mystery.  The house where the murders took place is now a bed and breakfast.  Is it haunted?

~~~~

# 16

Oingo Boingo

If you want music for your Halloween party, just throw on “Dead Man’s Party” or really any of the soundtracks Danny Elfman has created, mostly with Tim Burton (who should probably have his own category in my haunted theme).

In 1985, my family moved from Idaho to California.  I began to listen to KROQ and discover my affection for new wave music, including OB.  When I started high school, I met a guy who also liked them.  Oingo Boingo did annual Halloween shows and sometimes New Year’s Eve shows.  I think I saw one of each.  The one I remember was in Long Beach and the Untouchables opened the show.  What a great time, what a great band.  Twisted and loud, horns and angst, soul and ska.  I always think of them and their music around this time of year because their style (t-shirt designs, album artwork) generally had a lot of skulls and Dia de los Muertos kinds of motifs.  They rocked.

~~~~

# 17

The Great Pumpkin

Though not a true “haunted” thing, the Great Pumpkin is irrevocably tied to Halloween thanks to the Peanuts gang.  You gotta love Linus.

(p.s. I realize that Jack Skellington or “The Nightmare Before Christmas” should be included somewhere this month, but I’m afraid to admit that I have never seen it, so I don’t feel I have any authority to reference it).

They pass through the crowd, swirls of color surrounding them

A mash of music genres ringing in their ears.

They are faceless and nameless

unengaged, disconnected, emotionless.

To them it doesn’t matter what time it is, or even what day.

They don’t care – about life, about others, about love.

Or do they?

Can anyone really pass through life without feeling?

Without seeing?

Without experiencing joy?

Are they the ones who are faceless and nameless, or is it the opposite?

Hmmmmmm… interesting.

I want more than this!

I want God to take my ordinary life and make it extraordinary.

I want to see, to hear, to feel, to love,

And to live!

What do you want from life? 

How will you get it?

A um tempo atras John (o vizinho) deixou alguns tomates e pimentas que ele cultiva no fundo do quintal.

Os tomates usei na mesma semana antes que estrague, mas as pimentas ficaram na geladeira por algumas semanas. Nao sabia em que tipo de prato combinaria coloca-los (nao cozinho comida mexicana), mas queria usa-los antes que estraguem.

Ontem, decidi colocar pimenta na carne para o shepherd pie. Peguei duas do tamanho das amarelas acima (mas eram verdes), tirei as sementes (pois escutei falar que as sementes sao mais ardidas) e piquei. Piquei, piquei em pedacinhos. Coloquei na carne e tals, e terminei de cozinhar.

Meu dedao comecou a arder (acho que eu tinha algum arranhao e a pimenta no dedo fez com que comecasse a arder). Coloquei o dedo na boca (pois estava ardendo!!!!), naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooo cuspi fogo!!!!

Nossa acho que nunca senti tanta queimacao na boca! Bebi litros de agua.

O dedao ficou ardendo por horas. Lavei, lavei lavei e depois melhorou. Na hora de dormir foi outro sufoco. Deixar a mao debaixo das cobertas, quentinha, fez com que a minha mao direita comecasse a queimar (resultado das pimentas)… Mal consegui dormir por causa disso (segunda noite consecutiva mal dormida).

Agora, meio dia do dia seguinte, a minha mao esta melhor, mas ainda sentindo um pouco de queimacao.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh ser uma novata na cozinha com ingredientes que nunca usamos na vida e PERIGOSO!!!!!

# 7

Ghost in this House
written by: Hugh Prestwood
performed by Alison Krauss: video here

I don’t pick up the mail
I don’t pick up the phone
I don’t answer the door
I’d just as soon be alone
I don’t keep this place up
I just keep the lights down
I don’t live in these rooms
I just rattle around

I’m just a ghost in this house
I’m just a shadow upon these walls
As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls
I’m just a whisper of smoke
I’m all that’s left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
You took my body and soul
I’m just a ghost in this house

I don’t care if it rains
I don’t care if it’s clear
I don’t mind staying in
There’s another ghost here
He sits down in your chair
And he shines with your light
And he lays down his head
On your pillow at night

I’m just a ghost in this house
I’m just a shadow upon these walls
I’m living proof of the damage
Heartbreak does
I’m just a whisper of smoke
I’m all that’s left of two hearts on fire
That once burned out of control
And took my body and soul
I’m just a ghost in this house
Oh, I’m just a ghost in this house

~~~~

# 8

Saturday Night Live’s Celebrity Ghost Stories

~~~~

# 9

Baseball playoffs

Baseball is full of superstition, and sometimes it’s hard not to imagine that the ghosts of baseball past are influencing things just a bit. The other night I was watching game 2 of the Yankees/Twins games and A-Rod hit the 2-run shot in the bottom of the ninth to tie it, followed by Teixeira’s walk-off homerun in the bottom of the 11th. I don’t know if it was that game or the Dodgers/Cardinals game when the Dodgers made an amazing comeback to win, but one of the TV commentators made a reference to the ghosts having their way.

~~~~

#10

Ghost
written by: Emily Saliers
performed by: The Indigo Girls

Theres a letter on the desktop
That I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to
In our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever
From the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons
Shadowing my dreams

And the mississippis mighty
But it starts in minnesota
At a place that you could walk across
With five steps down
And I guess thats how you started
Like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me
And I start to drown

And theres not enough room
In this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost
And time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits
I need you the most
Im in love with your ghost
Im in love with your ghost

Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
(dont tell a soul)
When I wake the things I dreamt about you
Last night make me blush
(dont tell a soul)
And you kiss me like a lover
Then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river
Play your memory like a piper

And I feel it like a sickness
How this love is killing me
Id walk into the fingers
Of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity
Ive never been this close
Im in love with your ghost

Unknowing captor
You never know how much you
Pierce my spirit
But I cant touch you
Can you hear it
A cry to be free
Oh Im forever under lock and key
As you pass through me

Now I see your face before me
I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island
As the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence
And I know now how it feels
To be weakened like achilles
With you always at my heels

This bitter pill I swallow
Is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I cant swim free
The river is too deep
Though Im baptized by your touch
I am no worse than most
In love with your ghost

You are shadowing my dreams
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)
(in love with your ghost)

~~~~

#11

Found this excellent re-cap of all of the Brady Bunch episodes that featured hauntings and other trickery.