Because the U.S. is still in many ways a foreign country to my lady, it didn’t take too much thinkin’ to realize that I would need to help her navigate the health care system and access good pregnancy/childbirth information.  Here are some of the things we’ve found to be the most helpful to Renata and I during her pregnancy, which is almost over.

1.  Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy.  We landed at least five pregnancy books. This is the most comprehensive. We had What To Expect When You Are Expecting but our midwife told us to throw it in the trash. We just took it to Half-Price-Books.

2. Exercising Through Your Pregnancy by James Clapp. Good book despite the author’s unfortunate last name. It relates published research on birth outcomes and exercise during pregnancy which indicates that pregnant women experience major benefits with a minimum of 20 min. of weight-bearing exercise three times/week. Renata has stuck to such a plan the whole pregnancy and says the best fix for feeling bad has been a  good workout. She’s had almost no back pain and hasn’t missed one day of work the entire pregnancy.

3.  Certified Nurse Midwives. Renata started with an OB, but switched to a midwife with HealthEast, because she wants to have a waterbirth. The midwife has a lot more time to talk than the OB which has made all the difference in helping Renata feel comfortable, confident, and in control of her care.

4. The Childbirth Collective is a non-profit that holds free classes in various locations in the Twin Cities for expecting parents. Here we have gleaned loads of information to prepare us for the big day. We are most excited about discovering doulas and plan to have one with us for the birth.

5. Perhaps the most entertaining of all birth related discoveries, the documentary Orgasmic Birth, is worth seeing if you’re expecting a baby. If not to influence your birth choices, watch it for the title’s sake. Available through Netfilx.

When I teach a childbirth class, I prefer to do an all-day event so there is plenty of time for discussion, practicing techniques, and working on emotional aspects of giving birth. When I don’t have time (for example, an evening class), I focus on the most important things I feel will help women to have an easier birth. Here are my top ten for an easier birth:

1) Choose your birth place and birth team very carefully. What should you look for?

• Proven safety, and feeling of safety (do not disregard your intuition about a potential birth place or care provider)
• Low intervention rates, implying more hands-on care and the promotion of normal birth
• Takes the time to listen to your concerns and answer your questions with respect and interest
• Has assisted women having your ideal birth (epidural, natural, water birth, vbac, etc.)

2) Prepare for an easier birth, now!

• Don’t watch A Baby Story! Instead (if you are interested in watching birth videos), watch movies like The Business of Being Born, Orgasmic Birth, Pregnant in America, Water Birth, Special Women, and normal birth videos on YouTube which represent birth as it usually is. TV specials on birth are designed and promoted to offer drama and attract viewers, not to support women preparing for birth.
• Don’t read What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Nearly every woman I have spoke to said this book scared them more than it gave them confidence and reassurance. Instead read books like Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin and Creating Your Birth Plan by Marsden Wagner. Other good reads can be found on my lending library list.
• Eat well, getting a variety of foods in your diet, focusing especially on protein, green veggies, water, limiting sugar and processed foods, and salting foods to taste.
• Rest up, both for your current health, your energy level during birth, and for the late nights you’ll spend with your baby.
• Exercise. This means pelvic rocking and tilts, kegals, tailor sitting, squats, walking, swimming, and similar activites.
• Practice relaxation and visualization. Both of these are extremely helpful in having a tension free and easier birth. Hypnobabies is helpful for many in this respect.
• Position baby well. The position of your baby prior to labor greatly influences how easy or difficult your birth will be.

3) Have continuous labor support by a birth doula

• Moms supported by birth doulas have fewer complications, fewer interventions, more satisfying births, better bonding experiences with dad and baby, better baby outcomes, and less postpartum depression.
• In one large survey, moms who used doulas rated their support better than everyone else’s – doctors, midwives, nurses, dads, their mothers, sisters, and friends. Yet those present to support mom reported feeling more confident and relaxed themselves when a doula was present to support the mom.
• There are many myths about doulas, read this article to find out what they are and why they are myths.

4) Do not get induced!

• 40% of women are induced for lots of reasons, but it is only medically necessary in 5-10% of cases, for the following reasons: Pregnancy beyond 42 weeks, evidence of placental malfunction, baby small for age, preeclampsia, membranes ruptured beyond 4 days with no labor (less than that if there are signs of infection), true fetal distress confirmed by fetal scalp sampling or a biophysical profile.
• Alternatives to medical induction are waiting it out or using natural methods.

5) Stay home as long as you can

• Staying home until contractions are consistently less than five minutes apart and distracting you from other activities helps to ensure that active labor has begun and you will not be sent home from the hospital for false labor. It also reduces your chances of having interventions used on you that may not be necessary.
• In the meantime, rest, eat well, drink lots of fluid, visualize your birth going well, and carry on with normal life as much as possible.

6) When you get to the birth place, stay active

• Your pelvis is flexible, especially by the end of pregnancy, and staying active helps to ensure freedom of movement of your pelvis so that your baby can move down and be born easier. Staying upright and moving also helps labor to go more quickly and be less painful for you.
• If you are restricted to bed, first make sure it is actually necessary, then ask for help in finding different positions to use in bed to keep baby moving and make labor easier for you.
• Make sure to change positions frequently, drink and eat, and take breaks to rest, using upright positions which keep you fully supported.

7) Avoid uncessary interventions

• Do your homework on all possible interventions and ask questions anytime one is suggested to you!
• Possible interventions which are common include: vaginal exams, electronic fetal monitoring, IV, rupture of membranes, pitocin, episiotomy, epidural or other pain meds, restriction to bed, restriction of food and drink, and cesarean section.
• Interventions used which are not justified carry risks which do outweigh the benefits of using them. Unless there is very good reason (see articles linked above) to use them, you are likely to suffer consequences that could easily have been avoided by not using the interventions.

8 ) Don’t push on your back

• Remember your pelvis is flexible
• Pushing on your back is rarely a good thing and unless baby needs extra help being born, carries multiple risks.
• Ask about alternative pushing positions like hands and knees, squatting, sidelying, or standing.

9) Keep your baby with you

• Having your baby put on your chest after birth offers you and your baby multiple health benefits and is great for bonding.
• All routine newborn exams and procedures done immediately after birth can be done on your abdomen or right beside you, unless your baby needs extra help starting to breath.

10)  Remember, you were designed to give birth!

• Even if you have had a difficult birth before, or know someone who has, your body was designed perfectly for birth. Sometimes things can make that more difficult, like a less than ideal diet, a pelvic injury, or interventions used in labor which made birth more difficult, but 90+% of women giving birth are able to have normal births if they are healthy and well supported during birth.
• Labor is hard work, it may hurt, and you can do it. That’s the bottom line, everything else you learn is icing on the cake (statement adapted from Birthing From Within).

Week 37 and I am starting to really slow down! I also jumped on the scales and found that to my horror I have gained 18kg eek! ha ha oh well I have enjoyed being pregnant and I guess its all part of the process!! Sitting in my sarong under the A/C is definitely my preferred position at this point in time and slowing down is really agreeing with me – who knew?!

Its an interesting thing this orgasmic birth subject, I was writing something today about pleasure vs pain and how our society is so pain focused we only have to turn on the telly to watch the news and see how painful our world is – and this can be gotten at any time of the day on the hour every hour if we want! Sure there are inspirational stories shared from time to time but lets face it – its not what sells.

Then we have the other end of the spectrum with the porn industry one of the biggest in the world where people are experiencing pleasure or portraying pleasure, yet its shunned and considered dirty – and rightly so in some cases.

Isn’t there a happy median in between?  How different would our society be if we shared pleasurable stories instead of painful ones?

Its funny how sometimes it can even become a competition as to who has experienced more pain in conversations! it truly doesnt make sense… how different would it be if we shared pleasurable stories and got competitive about them!? granted sometimes when the girls get together that can happen and I am sure it does with boys as well, but why is it so underground?! why have we made pleasure a bad thing?

I had a beautiful friend write to me today, upset that she wasn’t able to help someone she loved have a more pleasurable birth, she felt by sharing the information of ecstatic and orgasmic birth and her own ecstatic birth experience with this woman she had somehow let her down when her birth experience turned out to be quite traumatic.  Her grief was palpable and my heart went out to her.

I pondered this for a while,  and thought of all the stories that have been willingly shared with me over my pregnancy, many including horror stories, pain, emergency, hospital, stitches, rips, tears, unimaginable distress and hurt.  This one beautiful friend had shared her pleasurable story with me, giving me a lifeline amongst all of the negativity, a positive light that it is possible to experience pleasure, giving me a real life contact who I can discuss these ideas with.

Yes I have done my own research and watched DVD’s and seen ecstatic and orgasmic birth in this way but having someone in my own circle share her story truly empowered me to believe it was possible for me, right here, in my home, in Australia!!!

If her experience had been negative and she had shared this with her loved one, would she have felt the same level of distress? I dont think so, why then do we have such trouble sharing pleasure????

This exact subject is broached on the Orgasmic Birth DVD and they encourage women who do have these ecstatic experiences to speak out, to talk to others, to let them know its possible, I agree – and I guess in my own small way it is the difference I am trying to make with this blog.

It suddenly dawned on me today – and it may have been obvious to you guys all along! but I suppose what I am trying to do with my quest is to discover if we can make a difference to our experience, if we can -  by preparing our body, mind and spirit positively impact on our birth and make it pleasurable rather than painful!  I know I am daft! but I guess all of the literature I have read and the information I have seen, its almost as if the orgasmic birth has been a surprise, that it wasnt necessarily planned, it just kinda happened! So what is the key ingredient?

Just like when athletes break records that people never thought possible, just like when science makes a breakthrough that was before considered impossible, once we open the realm of possibilities we open our minds and our hearts to achieving different outcomes…

I must admit, although I have this blog, I am guilty of being reserved sometimes in who I tell about my quest, whether I use the word orgasm or ecstatic to tone it down a bit, I dont have my blog address on my email signature and I havent told my in-laws and most of my extended family of my intention! Why? fear of judgement, fear that it might be too radical, fear of talking of pleasure?!!! what is that about truly?  Social conditioning perhaps…

My response to this dear friend was simply that surely if we know there are other possibilities other than pain in birth – which is what she demonstrated to her loved one, then we empower women to go and find their truth, it is not our responsibility to ensure they have this experience, as no-one can govern anothers experiences in this world, but we definitely give some options – I think thats pretty amazing in itself and I know that personally I would prefer to know this beautiful story then to not know – even if my birth doesnt go the way I exactly plan, I am certain that I have done everything possible in my power to allow for this experience to happen and I am content in knowing whatever type of birth I have it will be an empowered one!

Have a wonderful week and try it for yourself – share a pleasurable story this week and see how its received – it doesnt need to be explicit or sexual – just pleasurable – that can even be about eating a yummy ice-cream!

x

HI All!

36 weeks tomorrow and I am cheating a bit but below is a pic of me at Noosa last week – so technically 35 weeks – wow what an amazing place – and a beautiful nudie beach!!! Tee hee

This has been a transformational week for me, we are very, very,  very close to being assured that we are safe to homebirth and I am feeling quite happy and excited about that – I think for myself the real cut-off is next Friday and then we will be home and hosed (pardon the pun!).

I have been feeling like a few little pieces of the puzzle have been missing in my own healing and that I may need some assistance before the birth – some clearing, perhaps some clarity, and definitely some understanding about a few things and thankfully I was referred to a wonderful woman – Frances by a gorgeous friend of mine.  Frances happens to live in my area BONUS!! So yesterday I went to meet this wonderful healing spirit and was truly astounded by not only her gifts as a healer, but also her absolute generosity of time and what we were able to achieve.

Frances and I spent 7 hours together – I KNOW! Crazy! Now I am not suggesting that this is what we all need but I can tell you what I walked out of there a heck of a lot lighter and with a whole lot more clarity than when I went in…

I consider myself to be rather progressed on my healing journey – I don’t think it ever ends but certainly I had felt that there were things in my life that had been dealt with and that I had been able to move on from, well it seems that this wasn’t quite the case with 7 hours of work with Frances confirming this!!

My aim in meeting with Frances was to clear any issues I was still holding on to in order to be in the best possible place for the birth of our little Pim, so with no other intention other than that, I arrived on Frances doorstep! Very unlike me – I am usually pretty specific but fluidity really was key to this session working as well as it did.

The issues that we addressed were varied ranging from my own conception and birth, my relationships with my loved ones, my love relationship with Tim, my relationship with Pim! And deep emotional and physical trauma that had affected me at a deep level – and without going into all of the gory details I would like to share some of this experience with you.

One of the areas I found fascinating was the regression – I was able to recall my feelings and my mothers’ feelings at 6 months, 7 months and 8 months of pregnancy and then again the day before she went into labour! I know it sounds kinda out there and as I have never done any regressional work before I found it to be quite strange at first, strange but amazingly powerful in understanding how patterns were formed from that very young and vulnerable state and how they still exist today!  And the best part about it was that after creating this awareness I was then able to work through a way to change these behaviours that will not only benefit myself and my mother but also my new baby!  This also really reinforces my understanding that Babies really do know what is happening when they are in the womb and we need to start treating them with respect and intelligent human beings from the date of conception!

Another area which shocked me was also to do with some regressional work to do with my sexual abuse, you see I had thought that I had blacked out when the attack happened, that I had no memory and to that end, I guess I was never 100% sure that it was indeed abuse – that I hadn’t “asked for it”.  This kind of guilt and shame is rampant in rape and abuse victims and I guess I felt that I had on some level dealt with it through previous work that I had done – and whilst this was true there was definitely a bit more to go!

Through my session with Frances, I was actually able to tap into the memories that had chosen to shut down in my psyche, I was able to retrieve what had happened and be truly sure that my soul had in no way asked for or wanted the attack and that it was through no fault of my own that it had happened, in fact it became very apparent that the attack was pre-meditated and went a lot deeper than I ever knew – pretty heavy stuff, but what a relief to be free of such damaging thoughts and such painful trigger points in my body!

You see, I have been practicing my yoni massages almost daily and one of the reasons I sought some extra healing was because try as I might there were still some areas that just wouldn’t release and I couldn’t tap in to… they were still painful! well needless to say these areas were relating to this past trauma and whilst a lot had been cleared there was still quite a bit hanging on.

I must say I am blessed with a very open mind, this type of healing work may not suit some people, but what I would urge you to do if you are an expectant Mum or a partner, is to seek help in some way to clear any past issues that you feel may arise in birth – because if its one thing I have learnt on this journey of pregnancy, if its there it will surface and from what I am told, birth is even more intense!  The more we can clear this stuff or even have an understanding of where it comes from and why, then the better chance we have of birthing in the way we want to – pleasurably!!!!

Happy orgasming!!! oh and for anyone interested in contacting Frances or for other healing modalities that I would recommend please dont hesitate to contact me! Frances web address is : www.healingwingsoflight.com and she is based in Tamborine on the South side of Brisbane.

Week 32 and well what can I say? I finally have a camera and a pic of my very large belly – whoooo hooooo! Oh I was painting doors

I am finding it difficult to start this blog as my head feels as if its spinning from my past 3 days of immersion with some truly wise and beautiful souls who probably unknowingly have given me the most wonderful gift of insight into birth.

As mentioned in my previous blog, I was the only non-birth educator to attend this workshop and hence the conversation surrounding me was free flowing about a lot of things that weren’t even part of my awareness until this 3 days – granted a lot – ok MOST of the terminology went well over my head but I feel as if I have gained an immense amount of knowledge just the same.

Firstly I want to honour and thank the wonderful women who were not only presenting but who were participating in the course, I felt apart of a very special group of people so much so that I am actually reconsidering my decision to have my baby at home again!

One particularly Doula (birth supporter) really touched my heart and has given me a lot of food for thought! Stay tuned, the cogs are in motion and there may be some changes on the homebirth front!

Secondly I am very passionate about sharing this wonderful work – not only with you guys but with any other women you know who are pregnant! The whole feel of this workshop was about sharing information and some of this stuff is oh so simple but can truly make the difference between birthing naturally and with intervention – and its all stuff that we as mothers can take responsibility for!

So onwards and upwards – just what did Day 2 and 3 reveal?! Firstly I had some great advice on a range of different things that had been on my mind and I would love to share these with you – things like stretchmarks, softening the cervix in preparation for birth and how to boost the ever important iron levels whilst pregnant – naturally!

So the suggestions were these – as I fronted up with another awful rash on my tummy – once again probably more to do with my inner turmoil but also definitely this started as a skin irritation from Bio-oil – I just cant do it! My skin is way too sensitive and when I mentioned this to the ladies their suggestion was to go with a natural sweet almond and apricot kernel oil which can be purchased from “Handmade Naturals” in West End.

They also said that this is the best thing for stretch marks but also ensuring that you have enough zinc in your diet is another tip Often skin irritation can be to do with the liver as well apparently so dandelion tea is a wonderful way to flush out the liver.

Nettle tea is wonderful for boosting iron levels which has definitely been something that I have needed throughout my pregnancy! And later in pregnancy to help with the softening of the cervix mixing this with some raspberry leaf tea as well will help.

Now as you know I have been quite conscious throughout this pregnancy of the fact that I have had a LETZ procedure and lucky for me I got to ask Jenni about her experience with both the woman that alerted me to this as a potential issue (as she was on the Big Stretch DVD directed by Jenny!) The general consensus was that every woman is different, it also depends on what else is going on and yes there are ways to prepare the cervix – whoo hooo!

One of those ways is evening primrose oil – taken orally but also used topically inside the vagina! I am using capsules for oral consumption and actually got some oil from Handmade Naturals for the other.

A book that was constantly referred to in this session and one which you may have already heard of is Holistic Midwifery by Ina Gaskin, and my beautiful Doula friend – Liz Leys also lent me a DVD produced by Heather Bruce entitled “ What Dad’s can do” which shows expecting Dad’s how massage can work a treat on our beautiful bodies! her website is www.heatherbruce.com.au/pregnancy.

So back to the course – phew there is so much stuff!!

Days 2 & 3 really focused on the practical and applying these everyday exercises to the last weeks of your pregnancy – really the benefits come from daily practice from week 32 onwards.

Fi and Jenny both shared their wisdom on completely letting go of the muscles in the pelvic floor area as well as showing an easy exercise for gaining awareness of the cervix. I think that I will eventually develop an exercise page on my blog where you can refer to?!

It might be easier than trying to explain here!!! I suppose the big thing for me was that although people constantly talk about pelvic floor exercises its not often clear on what needs to be done, how many and HOW?! This was all explained which put my mind at ease – as it was manageable and easy!

From here we moved into some more targeted maneuvers that can be applied during labour to literally give a few more centimeters of space which is often all that is needed to safely birth our babies! – aptly entitled “The hip lift” and “The Sacral Hinge” we were stepped through these exercises in a way that was easy to pass on to others – and I cant wait to do just that!!!

Truly amazing how much the body, with a bit of awareness can open so wonderfully…. And naturally!

Ah and I got my wish with the Reboso! I got many turns at being the dummy for this and it was truly wonderful – the feeling of your hips being suspended and gently jiggled is surprisingly wonderful and relaxing, although I have been home now for a little while – we probably haven’t done it as much as I would have liked but its on the agenda!!!

This is such a long post and I feel as if I really haven’t done this course justice! But what I would like to do is extend the offer to give more information on each of these if you want it – so feel free to let me know! Oh I almost forgot!!!

The most important thing and something that really made me feel at home was the “Internal Work” now those of you who have read my blog will be aware of how I feel about Yoni Massage – BRING IT ON! Well essentially these women are crusaders for just that – terminology slightly different but massive advocates just the same and it was wonderful to be stepped through how they recommend women do this! Once again – an exercise which is best practiced from 32 weeks onwards on a daily basis for 10minutes – so far so good for me!

For those of you just tuning in – basically this is internally massaging the vagina – steering clear of the cervix if you are pregnant but feeling for “tight” spots and focusing on these – much the same as you would for massage in any other part of your body – until the tension melts away! How truly amazing this is not only for pregnancy but for releasing tension and trauma in our bodies!

So as this has turned into a great big huge post I am going to sign off – much much much more to come but in the meantime shoot me through any questions and happy orgasms

Muchas de vosotras me habéis pedido que cuente en el blog la historia del nacimiento de Bruno. No lo haré, porque fue tan bonito que deseo que siga perteneciendo al mundo de lo susurrado (y no de lo proclamado). Pero sí que me apetece compartir un par de reflexiones.

La primera es que después de haber tenido un hijo en el hospital y otro en casa, creo que los dos tipos de partos tienen aspectos positivos y negativos y que, por lo tanto, ninguno de ellos es mejor que el otro. Entonces, ¿cómo escoger el lugar para parir? No lo sé. Yo, durante cada embarazo, pensé dónde me sentiría más tranquila y segura a la hora de parir, y esa reflexión me llevó a escoger el hospital ante la inexperiencia del primer parto y mi casa, para el segundo.

El segundo aspecto del que quería hablar es del dolor. Aunque yo ya había visto “Orgasmic birth“, un documental que ha hecho furor en Estados Unidos y que explica qué ocurre cuando a la mujer se le enseña a disfrutar del nacimiento en lugar de a sufrirlo, mi experiencia en el hospital me hacía dudar seriamente de que los partos podían estar carentes de dolor. Me equivocaba. Desde el nacimiento de Bruno puedo decir que sufrí más con epidural en el hospital que sin ella en casa.

¿Cómo lo conseguí? Pues estas fueron las cinco claves que a mí me han funcionado.

El principal, Max, un hombre que no paró de cuidarme y darme lo que necesitaba en cada momento.

El segundo, la respiración: concentrarme en mandar mucho aire al bebé para que tuviese oxígeno mientras lo apretaba cada contracción me hacía no pensar para nada en el dolor.

El tercero, la visualización: en mi caso me funcionó pensar en una luz blanca que entraba por mi nariz a modo de aire, llegaba a la barriga rodeando a Bruno en su líquido amniótico y le acompañaba en su camino hacia fuera, hacia la luz. Y, como complemento a ese recorrido mental, repetía dentro mío las siguientes palabras a modo de mantra: “Aire. Agua. Luz”. 

El cuarto secreto fue vocalizar: acabar cada contracción con una liberación de la voz, que en mi caso era algo así como un “aaaaa” gutural.

Y el quinto, la comadrona, una mujer tranquila que desde que llegó a casa se hizo cargo de forma discreta de la situación, confirmó que todo iba muy bien y luego se sentó en una esquina a esperar. Dejó que Max y yo siguiésemos viviendo en privada soledad la experiencia del nacimiento de nuestro hijo y no intervino hasta que fue realmente necesario.

Gracias a todo ello, Bruno nació feliz y en paz.

Y así sigue…

(PD1 – Por cierto, me han comentado que el documental “Orgasmic Birth” se puede comprar en la web de Crianza Natural.)

(PD2 – Para las que queréis saber más sobre la comadrona que nos ha acompañado, la podéis ver en acción en este mini documental

Childbirth is an amazing, life changing, moving experience. No matter what any woman’s birth experience was, she will remember every detail and emotion that went into it. Often, as in my case, childbirth was a bit of different experience than expected! But doesn’t that just suit the situation so perfectly! The surprises and changes that happened during my labor and delivery were only the beginning of the many other things that “don’t go exactly as planned” in parenting.

Kyle and I were first of all very surprised to find that we were pregnant in September 2008. We were not planning on getting pregnant, and we weren’t even married at the time although we were talking about becoming engaged. However, after six pregnancy tests, we found out that were having our first child. We were surprised, overwhelmed, overjoyed and mostly just happy.I continued to have a very easy pregnancy (which was lucky since we got married and got a house during those nine months!) and we couldn’t wait to meet our little girl.

We prepared ourselves for childbirth in so many ways. We read books, we watched documentaries, we took Bradley Method classes (focuses on relaxation and being coached by your husband). I even watched the amazing documentary, “Orgasmic Birth”…yes that’s right, according to Filmmaker Debra Pascali-Bonaro you can indeed have an orgasm during childbirth. More on that later. In any case, we packed a yoga mat, candles, soothing music, massage balls, and many other things that were going to give us the perfect Zen-like childbirth experience.

That wasn’t exactly it.

To make a long story short, my labor was only six hours start to finish. I did pretty amazing, if I say so myself, until hour six. I was in the bathtub, getting rub downs from my hubby, throwing up and having diarrhea with as much grace as possible, all without much complaining. The 35 minute car ride from Lodi to South Sacramento Kaiser Permanente Hospital was where hell began. My mom finally convinced me that I needed to go when the pains that was I calling aftershocks 2 minutes after a contraction were indeed also contractions.

A word to all hospital administrators: don’t make a laboring woman do a full-blown check in when she comes to the hospital to have her baby. As the perfectly nice lady was asking me what my address was and why I was at the hospital today, all I could think was “Don’t you have all this freaking information you idiot!”. Thankfully, my husband escorted me out of the room and finished the check in while I breathed heavily in the hall.

The next 30 minutes went something like this: Midwife- you’re four centimeters, you get a room. Me: *&#@@$^$&!!!!! This hurts so bad!! I need drugs!!! My husband: No, we decided not to do drugs, you’re ok. Me: No. You don’t understand. I NEED drugs. Nurse: Let’s put an IV in and then we’ll talk about drugs. Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Nurse: IV is in. Me:  Ok, I need to push now!!! Midwife: Ok push. Ok push again. Ok one more push. Ok here’s your baby! Me: OH MY GOD!!! MY BABY!!! My husband: Oh wow!

So, basically, I had gone from 4 centimeters to 10 centimeters in about 25 minutes. And in those 25 minutes, I was the farthest thing from Zen or orgasmic. However, I will say this: seeing my baby come out of me and having her in my arms the second after I pushed her out was the most exhilirating feeling I’ve EVER had. So maybe it was a sort of orgasm, because the sweet relief of no more pain and seeing my child was far better than I could have imagined.

Childbirth is so full of surprises, in seeing your baby for the first time, to the most intense pain, to realizing just how loud you really can scream. We did it with no drugs, mostly because there wasn’t enough time to get them, but my experience still wasn’t the calm and still experience I had prepared for. No, it was better in fact. It was real, it was in the moment, it was dramatic. But then again, what childbirth isn’t dramatic? To see a person come into the world…does it get any better?

Just a warning: this post is long and kind of depressing in spots.  So read at your own risk.

These have been a crazy past few days.  My mind and body have been on a proverbial roller coaster ride – up and down emotionally, up and down physically (literally, too - as in up and down kneeling in front of the toilet and puking my guts out.  Sorry, too much info, probably… I know….)

It all started Sunday.  I began drafting our birth plan, which is a document outlining our wishes for birth that will be read by the midwives and nurses on duty at the time of our little boy’s birth.  I wish there were no need for us to have to create such a document, but given that I want a low-intervention birth experience in a hospital (which seems rather oxymoronic), it is important that we have one.  And we now do have one, which I hope to post in a separate blog entry.  Writing the birth plan put me on the path to giving some serious and very detailed thought to how birth might (or might not) go in the near future.

Watching Orgasmic Birth… and Emotions…

Next came our viewing of the childbirth documentary Orgasmic Birth (click here to go to the website and see the trailer). I had been wanting to watch this for weeks and had been waiting and waiting for it to become available at the library.  It finally came in on Sunday and we watched it that night.  The documentary is wonderful – it is similar to The Business of Being Born, which I have posted about before, but it approaches the subject of natural childbirth (as well as “over-medicalized” childbirth, for that matter) from a more positive perspective, I think.  I wish all prospective parents (and not just first-time parents) could watch this – it’s very special.

Orgasmic Birth does not spend much time discussing c-section births, in particular, but it does contain a scene of a baby being born via c-section.  When I saw this, I became very upset.

Earlier in this pregnancy, I was nervous about the possibility that my body would not naturally go into labor and that I would be forced to have another unnecessary, scheduled c-section.  Then over time, I became more and more accepting of the scheduled c-section should things not go the way I hope.  I decided that it would be in the baby’s and my best interest not to stress out about the whole situation and just go with the flow and let things unfold as they will.  This new, more positive attitude gave me a great sense of confidence – I no longer doubted that I would go into labor on my own.  I just assumed that I would and didn’t think twice about it.  It was a great feeling.

I went into watching Orgasmic Birth with this sense of peace about a possible scheduled c-section, and with this confidence that my body will go into labor on its own.  I came out of watching Orgasmic Birth – and that c-section scene, in particular – feeling quite the opposite.

I don’t blame the film for scaring me.  Like I said before, the film is great and I am so very glad that I did see it.  And that c-section scene wasn’t particularly negative or graphic – it was straight-forward and very brief, actually (maybe a 30 second shot of an operating room, showing a baby emerging from the belly and being ushered aside for his check-up… no big deal… There was actually another scene of a vaginal birth via vacuum extraction that was way more disturbing that I had to have DJ fast-forward through).  The truth of the matter is that I clearly had some anxiety lurking deep inside regarding the possible c-section that hadn’t surfaced yet, and watching this film triggered those emotions to come out.

Those emotions didn’t surface until the next morning, though.  I was sitting here at the computer, having just returned from dropping off Jolie at school, and began reflecting on that c-section scene from the night before.  Then I started crying – well, sobbing, actually – about the possibility that I could be the woman in that scene going through another unnecessary c-section.  I wasn’t crying for myself, really – I was crying because I don’t want my little son to experience what I consider to be a cold entrance into the world when I know that something much more natural is possible.

After several minutes of dealing with this, I finally calmed down.  Then I got upset again later that day in the car.  And then later.  I was stressing myself out.  I knew this was not good for me nor my baby.  I used my Hypnosis for Birthpractice to help me calm down.  It helped.  Cooking and cleaning the house in preparation for our meeting that night with Wendy, our doula, also helped take my mind off things.

Meeting with Our Doula

Wendy came over that evening for a conversation about all things pre-natal and the possibilities for labor.  When she asked me to talk about Jolie’s birth, out came the tears again.  I explained to her what had been going on with me for the past 24 hours and she wasn’t surprised by my being upset. She said she would have actually been worried if I were NOT upset or nervous about something…

I am so very happy we are working with Wendy.  She is just fabulous to talk to and seems so knowledgeable.  She really puts me at ease, and I know she is totally my advocate.  She wants to do everything possible to help me reach my goal of having a successful VBAC and has lots of great ideas on how to make that happen.  I’m so glad she’s in my corner.

I told Wendy that I am fearful of being forced into another c-section too early, on the scheduled date of September 11 (which is 41 weeks 2 days – 5 days short of 42 weeks, which is still considered normal gestational age).  She said, “Well, what if you just didn’t show up for your c-section?”  This is something I had definitely considered before… not because I want to rock the boat or tick off the hospital staff, but because of my uncertainty about being emotionally capable of walking myself into the hospital for an unnecessary operation.

I replied that I was fearful that my midwives (or anyone else at Evergreen Hospital) might not be willing to treat me if I were to stand them up for my scheduled c-section.  After a long discussion about this, Wendy suggested that I just have a real heart-to-heart with my midwife the next day at our appointment about this… just to see what she says…

After a couple of hours talking about this and several other topics, Wendy left and I was feeling a bit more at peace.  And then, my stomach started cramping.  An hour later, I was hugging the toilet with things coming out of almost every orifice of my body.  I don’t know if it was food poisoning or a quick but violent stomach virus, but it was down right miserable, causing me to have big uterine contractions at the same time that my stomach was cramping.  It lasted through the night – every 30 minutes until about 7:00 the next morning.  And then it was gone (even though I still felt like crap for another 24 hours thanks to the dehydration).  Luckily, DJ, Jolie nor Wendy ever got sick.

Midwife Appointment – Week 36

Once the puking subsided, I was able to pull myself together to head over with DJ to meet with the midwife for our 36 week appointment, where we did all the usual baby-checking stuff and discussed our birth plan.  We met with Sharon Hammond again (one of my favorites).  I’m healthy, the baby is healthy, and I got a lot of support regarding our birth plan.  She did an internal exam to check my cervix (the one and only vaginal exam I’ll agree to until on or past my due date).  I’m 1 centimeter dilated with a soft but high cervix.  She also tested me for Group B Strep (a bacteria that many women carry vaginally that could possibly harm the baby and will require intravenous antibiotics during labor if I’m a carrier.  I’ll know next week if I’m a carrier, although I tested negative for this when pregnant with Jolie). 

Then I told Sharon that I needed to talk to her about one other thing…

I tried to be as honest but as pleasant as I could be about my negative feelings regarding the scheduled c-section… and about the fact that I really wasn’t sure if I would be able to bring myself to the hospital on that date should I not go into labor on my own prior to 42 weeks.  Here is an excerpt of the email I sent to Wendy following the appointment with a few more details:

Then we had the very emotional discussion about the timing of the scheduled c-section.  I was honest but very tactful in how I explained my feelings to her – I think I did a good job.  She did not seem to be a big fan of the idea of me just not showing up, explaining that I would be leaving an open OR spot which would not be good, etc… but she was very gentle and understanding in her discussion with me, and said she would talk to Dr. Johnston about this and see if the doc would be open to moving back the date of the operation to give me a bit more time.  She has to be cautious about this, though, because she says the docs in the group are becoming more frustrated over VBAC in general at this time and are really wanting to go in the opposite direction as far as timing the automatic c-section (closer to 40 weeks for the operation instead of 41), and the midwives have to walk on eggshells at times when it comes to talking VBAC policy with them.  She is afraid VBAC wont even be an option at some point in the future… I told her I don’t want to be “just another example” of why they shouldn’t make VBAC an option, that I am not doing this to rock the boat or make life more difficult for anyone, etc…. I told her I want to be reasonable but also just want to be honest in sharing my feelings because I believe it’s an emotional hurdle for me to overcome.  So anyway, she’s going to mention it to the doc and see what she says (or see perhaps if another doc in the group would be open to doing it a bit later).  She asked what I would do if no one was willing to work with me on this – would I just not show up?  I told her that by that time, I hope I am at a place emotionally where I would be at peace with having another automatic c-section and would show up, but that right now if I were in that position I just don’t know that I could bring myself to do it…

What I don’t want to happen is really tick people off and be lumped into their pile of “examples” about why they should not offer VBAC to women in the future.  I told her I felt some guilt around that.  She doesn’t want me to feel guilty, of course.  I think she actually agrees with me but obviously is limited about what she can support given the politics involved.  She asked me why I’m so emotional about this and if I understand the risks of going beyond the due date – and I explained my frustration over the arbitrary date of 41 weeks, as opposed to 42 which is considered normal gestational age, and that I’d be more accepting of this if I were just allowed to go to 42 weeks.  Anyway, we’ll just see what happens from here.  Time will tell.

So I left the midwife appointment with mixed feelings – happy to have a good health report, happy about our birth plan discussion, a bit disappointed but not terribly surprised about the c-section discussion (but so glad I had gotten it off my chest!). 

Later that night, DJ and I talked about it and I felt much lighter and once again more peaceful about the entire thing.  I think just having a chance to voice these feelings so candidly to Wendy, DJ and Sharon was freeing, and now I was beginning to feel a small resurgence of confidence and peace inside.  This isn’t to say that I won’t have any more anxiety about it, but for now I am much better… and do not have a desire to stand up anyone in the operating room on September 11 if that is what the universe has in store for me.  As much as I don’t want a c-section, I am not sure that dodging the c-section would be the best choice.  Not only would it likely cause me added stress and introduce more negativity into the situation, but it would also be just another reason for the hospital to consider disallowing VBACs to women in the future, and I don’t want to contribute to that.

At the end of the day, I am going to have a healthy new son that I will love, and that is what matters most.  Regardless of how he enters the world.

Prenatal Stats:

Appointment date: August 4, 2009 (35 weeks 6 days pregnant)

Weight:  142.5 (oh yeah, another half pound!)

Blood pressure: 110/58

Baby’s heart rate:160-ish

Surprise Phone Call from Midwife Sharon

The next day, Sharon called me!  She spoke with Dr. Johnston – the OB who will likely perform the scheduled c-section – and said that Dr. Johnston is willing to allow me to go the full 42 weeks!!!!!…. except she will be out of town on that date (which is September 16).  Sharon said she would try to find another OB in the group willing to work with me on this date.  I am so, so grateful to Sharon for her help on this and really tried to communicate my most sincere thanks to her because I know that I put her in a sticky position here.  She didn’t have to try to fight for me on this issue… but she did.  And then I told her, regardless of what happens moving forward on this, I would not stand up anyone on the c-section.  I would show up.  I think she was relieved.   And we had a nice conversation for a few minutes thereafter.

I got another call today from the c-section schedulers in Sharon’s office, but silly me was napping and didn’t get the message until after business hours.  Since it was the schedulers calling, rather than Sharon, I am very hopeful that they were calling to reschedule the c-section for a later date.  We’ll know tomorrow.

36 Week Ultrasound

And then, finally, DJ and I had our final ultrasound today to help determine our son’s size (a routine procedure for VBAC patients).  He is in the 40th percentile and will weigh in at around 8 pounds if he goes to 40 weeks… keeping in mind that ultrasound estimates can be up to a pound off in either direction… which kind of makes you wonder why they call for them in the first place… But he still looks like a healthy little champ in there!

(oh, and the radiologist did ask me what sport I played in college because, given my physical shape at this point, I clearly played a sport… HAHAHAHAHA!  That made my whole day. )

Wow! Week 17 already – isn’t it funny how gestation periods always seem to be measured in weeks, but rarely anything else? and birth weight always seems to be in pounds and ounces and yet nothing else in our system is measured this way? And even more confusing is that while we measure our gestation period in weeks, the standard being 40 weeks, we also say that its 9 months – but isn’t 40 weeks 10 months? Very confusing!!!!

Well these haven’t been the only confusing thoughts I have had this past couple of weeks – I have been faced with the very confronting decision of whether to birth my baby at home or in a birth centre at the Royal Brisbane Hospital!  I will say straight up that I am ever grateful to have this wonderful choice to make as I am well aware there are many who are not given the opportunity to get into the birthing centre – however it hasnt made my choice as easy as I thought and to be honest – originally, at the time of writing this I did think my decision had been made – I have since reconsidered!

Like most couples when we first found out we were pregnant we tried to work out our options – as our little Pim was a surprise (albeit a very welcome one!!) I only had the minimum hospital cover for insurance which sadly does not cover birth – only giving you your choice of Doctor – as useless as the proverbial I say!!  After some further investigations and talking to a wonderful lady at Birth Talk (www.birthtalk.org) – a Brisbane-based organization that specializes in planning a positive birth – no matter how you are doing it, she explained the following points:

• That going to a private hospital did not necessarily mean you would be able to birth naturally;
• It can be more difficult to avoid interventions in private hospital as opposed to the public system;
• The costs associated with paying for a Private hospital would probably be better spent on getting a doula for support during birth and going through the public system instead if natural birthing is what you were wanting.

Being new to the whole pregnancy/ birthing and to some degree hospital systems I found all of this quite interesting sothen started focusing on the best way to get the birth that I wanted – ecstatic, natural, orgasmic and as intervention-free as possible.

I consulted with my GP who then sent referrals to the local public hospitals and in particularly to the birthing centres which is one option that appealed greatly to us – for those of you unfamiliar with this concept it is essentially a division of a hospital that is dedicated to natural birthing – it is mid-wife run and facilitated and no pain relief is available therefore no temptation or pressure for intervention however you have the “safety” of the hospital being right there if there are any complications.  Birth Centres are in such high demand that you now have to be accepted through a ballot system where essentially you are registered and your name is literally drawn out of a hat! (or something similar!) oh and you have to be low-risk….

I also spoke with a wonderful mid-wife as I was leaning more and more towards home-birth.  She was very informative and I felt that it would be an option I would feel most comfortable with.

The factors for myself and my partner to consider in this birth were as follows:

1. Cost (sadly this is a very real contributing factor to my final decision);
2. Proximity to Emergency Care if required;
3. My rights to birth naturally;
4. My baby’s best interests;
5. Comfortability of my partner and myself with our decision.

Initially I made a deal with my partner – if I was accepted into the Birth Centre then we would go with that option as this satisfied (on the surface) all of our criteria – why then was it a hard decision? And why now am I feeling a little lost and confused?

I was accepted into the birthing centre last week and there was joyous sighs of relief from my loved ones – those who, whilst would have supported me fully in a home birth, were happy for me to be in an environment where emergency care was close at hand.

Factor 1 : Cost

The cost for the public birthing centres is nil, the cost we were quoted for a midwife was $4,500.  I really don’t want this to be about cost but sadly up until now it really has been – I believe if the cost were completely factored out that I would be leaning more toward home-birth.   The wonderful mid-wife that I spoke with asked us to consult her if cost was the only factor, and that she would try and accommodate our needs but I feel in my heart that this is unfair as I have no doubt she is worth every penny sadly we are not sure if we can afford it! Although I am looking into the baby bonus as of this week -if I can use it for something as important as having the kind of birth that I want then I guess I will run with that! Kinda makes my blood boil knowing that other countries including the UK and New Zealand offer free midwifery services to their women.  Also considering the current political situation surrounding home birth – it makes me even more sad….

Factor 2: Proximity to Emergency Care

My partner and I live 50 minutes from Brisbane, the closest hospital to us does not have a maternity ward, the next closest (30 minutes away) is undesirable to both myself and my partner – and it was decided very definitely early on that I would not be birthing there!  So that left us with the choice of transfer hospitals in the City between 50 – 60 minutes away.  As you can see proximity is an issue and being my first birth I guess on some levels I am a little nervous as well about that, my partner is extremely nervous!  On further consideration I believe that if I was to transfer to a hospital it would be in the initial stages of labour if I wasnt dilating etc – I will be trying to stay at home anyways for as long as possible – I dont really see the difference, if I need to transfer to a hospital – whether I am in the birthing centre or at home it really isnt going to make much difference!

Factor 3: My rights to birth naturally and intervention-free

The birth centre most definitely offers the most intervention-free option available in a hospital setting but sadly there are hoops to jump through that, whilst I would be willing to do, I probably would not if I was to birth at home – namely having an 18 week scan.  I was hoping to not have to have a scan as I have researched this quite extensively and there is no conclusive evidence that ultrasound is safe for babies and there is definite evidence that babies move away from the ultrasonic waves which I believe indicates they are disturbed on some level.  Dr. Sarah Buckley covers this issue beautifully in her book ( Gentle Birthing: Gentle Mothering) if you are interested in finding out more about this particular topic.  Another factor which I have only just become aware of is that if I by chance get a midwife assigned to my birth that is not qualified in water birth then I may not get the choice, equally a water birthing suite may not be available when I am due in the birthing centre.  I am feeling that is a bit of a stretch for me – compromise wise…. I dont know if water birth will suit me but I certainly want the choice and chance…

Factor 4: Pim’s best interests

Being my first pregnancy I do believe that having the option of being close by assistance in a hospital is wise and perhaps in the best interest of my baby however, equally part of me also believes that being at home with the skippies and birds and ducks and kookaburras and my own bed and tree’s to look out onto would be just as beneficial.  My main focus is to be drug-free if possible and the birth centre definitely caters for this, being at home also does! I am also all for having control over who is coming in and out of my space whilst in labour and while I think that the birth centre would be good in this department – I know that in my own home there is no question.  I am yet to confirm whether the birth centre offers the option of  having a lotus birth which I believe is in the best interest of my baby – for a number of reasons once again well outlined in Dr. Sarah’s book, I would definitely be doing this if I was to birth at home.

Factor 5: Comfortability of my partner and myself with our decision

I am probably one of the luckiest women ever – my partner is 110% supportive of whatever decision I choose for Pim’s birth, however deep down I know that he wants help close at hand in case of complications, knowing how emotionally charged we are all going to be around the birth, I guess I want us both to feel comfortable with our surroundings and I wont deny there would be some concerns in my mind about home-birthing just as there will be with birthing in a hospital setting.

Bottom line? Well until yesterday the bottom line was the birth centre, I received a letter from the birth centre outlining some details that I hadnt expected and it has had a major impact on how I am feeling – in earnest I think what has happened is that I have been challenged on some points – with the very real potential of my birth experience being compromised before I even start and it has made me realise that home-birth is where my heart is!  – safe and secure in my own surroundings with my loved ones and a mid-wife who knows me intimately.  The final decision has yet to be made…. the next step is seeing the midwife to check out our options – the final decision however must be made before 27th of July – when I am booked in for my 18 week scan!!!!!! EEEK and also to give another woman the wonderful opportunity of taking my place at the birth centre if it comes to that….

A lot of thoughts and emotions have been swirling around in this turbulent time and for me – I find it disappointing that our government does not support natural birthing more, that the decision to homebirth may be taken away from me in the near future due to changes in the legislation and therefore right now I feel that its now or never!

Whatever your choice I believe there will always be pro’s and con’s I also believe its so important to know your requirements – natural, ecstatic, orgasmic birth are my goals, but they wont necessarily be yours – whatever yours are – be true to them and make sure you are comfortable with the compromises (if any) and the circumstances because the more comfy we are – the better birth we will have – I truly believe that!!!

Have a wonderful week! I have had some requests for more info about Yoni massages so hopefully I will cover that in my next blog! Till then – happy orgasms!!!!

xx

HOW TO HAVE AN ECSTATIC BIRTH

INTRODUCTION

Whenever I mention the words “ecstatic birth,” people tend to look at me a little funny, as if the words I am using are an oxymoron and I must be a bit crazy to imagine that birth can be ecstatic!  I often get comments like these: 

“What do you mean by the term “ecstatic birth?”

“I didn’t know there was such a thing.”

“My birth certainly wasn’t ecstatic!”

“I thought birth was supposed to be painful”

Indeed, one of the most strongly held beliefs in American society (and perhaps throughout the world) is that childbirth is supposed to be painful.  Although it is not clear exactly where this belief originated, I think it is safe to say that the media have done their part to promote it (by projecting terrifying images of women in childbirth into our living rooms) and religion has played a major role in locking it into place.  According to Genesis 3:16:

“To the woman he said,
       ‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
       with pain you will give birth to children.
       Your desire will be for your husband,
       and he will rule over you.’”

Thus, for those who accept biblical teachings, pain in childbirth is ordained by “God” and male supremacy is an unchangeable fact of life.

Now, it is not my purpose in this essay to challenge anyone’s religious beliefs.  However, for those of us that are truly committed to the path of ecstatic birth, it is probably a good idea to consider throwing off the shackles of religious dogma and going deep within to find The Truth.

Here are two questions we might want to ask ourselves in our pursuit of ecstatic birth:

1. Are we willing to accept the notion that the loving source behind all of creation would willfully cause women and babies to suffer during childbirth? 

1. Can we choose to imagine, instead, that the Creator is an immensely kind and loving being that wishes only good things for humanity and he/she intended for childbirth to be a joyous and love-expanding event?

Consider these quotes from two very different books, both of which seem to be leading to the same conclusion:

“[Women in childbirth] tend to become conscious of a sense of exaltation and incomparable happiness as they watch the arrival of their child.  Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware… Can it be that the Creator intended to draw mothers nearest to Himself at the moment of love’s fulfillment?”[1]

And from Book 8.2 of the Ringing Cedars series (www.ringingcedars.com) entitled Rites of Love:

“The appearance of pain at the moment of birth is a sign of an erroneous psychological approach to the birth process on the part of the parents.  Many, many animals give birth to their offspring in natural surroundings and none of them perish or experience suffering. Nor did the Creator come up with any thought of pain for His most beloved creation, Man. Just as loving parents would never conjure up the thought of pain for their children.

”As she fulfills her highest purpose… the woman who has carried the Divine Child within herself receives a reward ordained by the Creator. This reward is the feeling of bliss and the chain of joyful ecstasies during labor, but certainly not pain. Quite to the contrary, the process of giving birth …. should be a joyful and pleasant one.[2]

Consider this Truth.  In its ideal expression, childbirth is the fulfillment of love – a love shared by two people that have consciously chosen to bring forth a child.  If a baby is conceived in this context (i.e., intentionally and in a mutual explosion of love), wouldn’t it seem natural for birth to be an extremely joyous – even ecstatic – event? 

Let us consider that, perhaps, that is the divine intention.

WHAT IS ECSTATIC BIRTH?

When I use the term “ecstatic birth,” I am referring to a birth experience that is filled with extreme joy, supreme satisfaction, deep love, and spiritual bliss.[3]  Ecstatic birth is a life-changing, cellular shifting, consciousness-altering event.  Some women describe their ecstatic birth experience as transcendent, i.e., an inter-dimensional journey that activates union with the divine. 

“It was an incredible experience of oneness with my baby. It was a feeling of transcendence, a spiritual transcendence. My yoga guru used to say: ‘A woman that prepares and gives birth with consciousness experiences the same enlightenment as spending twenty years on the top of the mountain meditating.’ You can experience oneness and transcendence with God. It is an incredibly spiritual experience. It is as if you have the ability to cross over to the other side and then come back and be completely in love with this angel being.”[4]

Ecstatic birth is deeply empowering for both mother and child (and dad, if he is present) and provides a memory of absolute victory for the entire family that can be referenced again and again throughout time.  Ecstatic birth activates the neurobiology of love in both mother and child (and dad is he is present) and lays the foundation for the preservation of love in families forever.

Mothers who have experienced ecstatic birth speak of the deep, exquisite feelings of love they experience at birth – for their babies and their partners – a bond of love that persists throughout life and seems to create immunity to the dysfunctional types of relating we see so often in mainstream parent/child interactions.

“I fell in love with him so completely, so amazingly, I would do anything to protect him and take care of him. Now that I know what I know about these powerful love hormones… if I am

having the most powerful orgasm of my life I am soaked with oxytocin and betaendorphins.

I was changed enormously. I tell everybody that my 22 year old son and I have never had one single argument between us. I look at the picture of him and my chest just expands, and it started with his birth.”[5]

An ecstatic birth is usually bestowed upon families that have prepared themselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Technology is typically not part of an ecstatic birth, and very often the parents have worked on resolving their own negative birth imprints before they give birth to their babies.

Ecstatic birth can include orgasm, but does not require orgasm for the experience of ecstasy and spiritual bliss.  Consider these quotes from women who have experienced ecstatic birth – some with orgasm and some without:

“You have no idea of the beautiful memories I have of my birth.  It’s been more than 2 years and I think of it everyday.  I wish I could put my baby back in my womb and birth him again.”  Angie de Gaytan

“The experience of the birth of my second child (so far I have 3) was so blissfully ecstatic that a minute after the birth I was sure “This I want to experience again”…  Dariya Avantario

“I may not have experienced an actual orgasm, but the birthing itself was amazing. I was high for weeks afterwards. The love I felt towards my hubby, and my baby, well it just made the entire wedding/honeymoon look like a drop in the pail.”  Guggie Daly

“I, for one, felt my body move in the same ways it had while orgasming and I was thinking…THIS is what my body is made for during childbirth. I was HIGH for YEARS on these experiences. YEARS!”  Judith Condor

“On November 28, 2007…. I had the most ecstatic orgasm of my life! Gabrielle Marie was born into her daddy’s hands while her big brothers stood by. There is nothing like it in the world, to experience birth in this way. My memories are always vivid, my mind easily finds its way back to every feeling that went through my body as I birthed my daughter.  It’s a re-experience that runs through my entire body when I think of it. By far the most ecstatic feeling ever while she descended through me and opened my entire body, my legs, my vagina with a pulsing pressure, one can only describe as orgasmic.”  Jessica Legare.

“The birthgasm is much more total, much more complete. There is always a bit of longing left when I experience an orgasm with my partner. This was absolute completion – I was everything and everything was me. It is very spiritual.”[6]  Faith

“It is the same body feeling and mind exploding, being able to open, your chest expands, all of that – hundred times more intense then orgasm through either masturbation, penetration or Tantra. It was an explosion from every fiber of my being. I was surprised by the intensity.”[7]  Beverly 

According to Danielle Harel, author of the dissertation entitled “Sexual Experiences of Women During Childbirth,” orgasm is physiologically possible during labor due to the combination of hormones (especially oxytocin) and endorphins that are present, and the intense pressure of the baby’s head on two important nerve systems – the hypogastric and the pelvic.  The pressure on these nerves, in combination with the hormonal elixir of birth, can induce orgasm.

Statistics indicate that approximately 20% of women are reporting having orgasms during childbirth.[8]  Some women spontaneously and unexpectedly experience orgasm, while others are deliberately integrating sexual stimulation into their labors (what Danielle Harel has termed a “passionate birth.”).  For women who experience surprise orgasm, responses vary.  Some are deeply pleased by the orgasmic waves.  Others feel embarrassment and/or shame.  A woman’s response depends on her awareness and acceptance of the sexuality of birth, in combination with the context in which she is giving birth.  Shame and/or embarrassment tend to occur when women are in a more public setting with people (especially strangers) going in and out of the room. 

SO WHY ARE SO MANY WOMEN EXPERIENCING PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH?

Now that we have established that orgasm and ecstasy are possible during childbirth, it is time to discuss why so many women are experiencing just the opposite. 

To begin this discussion, let’s first note that, in general, women from indigenous cultures do not typically experience pain in birth.  Animals do not appear to be experiencing pain either.  Since it is primarily women from industrialized societies that are prone to experience pain in childbirth, there must be something peculiar about our technological civilization that is causing a malady in birth. 

My task in this essay is to help identify some of the components of our “erroneous psychological approach” to childbirth so that we can adjust what we are doing as quickly as possible and align with our innate capacity to give birth ecstatically.

Problem  #1 – Unconscious Conception

One of the biggest contributors to pain in childbirth is unconscious conception.  Whereas, in indigenous cultures, babies are intentionally called forth by their parents (and/or babies consciously alert their parents – through dreams and other methods of communication – of their readiness to incarnate), in western society, babies are being conceived haphazardly and are entering the womb unbeknownst to the people that made them. 

Babies that are conceived unconsciously are often unwanted and/or the sad result of a loveless/lustful sexual encounter.  Those unfortunate enough to be conceived in this way (and I am one of them)  may carry severe prenatal wounds including “discovery shock,” (i.e., the trauma of being rejected and unwanted when mom discovers our presence in the womb) and/or “conception shock,” (i.e., the trauma of being conceived as the result of a wounded sexual encounter and/or the trauma of being conceived unconsciously and having no one there to greet you upon your arrival into the womb). 

Further complicating the issue is the fact that babies that are conceived unconsciously are often gestated in wombs filled with toxicity (both emotional and environmental), shame, and fear.  If abortion is considered or attempted (and it would be an interesting study to find out how many mothers actually consider aborting their babies), this can imprint the child with an intense fear of annihilation and a sense that it does not have a right to live.  Once the child is born, it may develop serious illness (in an affirmation that it does not deserve to live) or it may have an over-adrenalized, hyper-vigilant nervous system due to the prenatal feeling that its life is in perpetual jeopardy.  These negative “memories” will leave a profound impact on the child (influencing his/her health or personality for as long as the imprints remain unconscious and unresolved – sometimes an entire lifetime), and will strongly influence the child’s ability to make its entry into the world with ease and grace.  The child’s capacity to love and be loved will also be extremely diminished due to its wounded beginnings.

The mother, too, will have a difficult and challenging experience because it is not easy to gestate or give birth to an unwanted child.  Mother’s have been known to think about unwanted babies as “parasites” and to feel uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding their children once they are out of the womb.  During birth, the mother may unconsciously experience hesitation and/or resistance to letting the baby out, which will activate a series of “complications” and a cascade of medical interventions to follow.  Mom’s resistance to birthing the baby, combined with the introduction of technological interventions into the birth field, virtually guaranty a painful and/or traumatic childbirth experience.  It is highly likely that the neurobiology of love will not activate for this mother-infant pair and the relationship between mother and child will be detrimentally affected – perhaps for the duration of life.  We can also expect the relationship between father and child to be less than ideal.

The influence of this type of sad beginning cannot be underestimated and will be discussed in much more detail in my forthcoming book, From Trauma to Ecstasy:  The Road to Ecstatic Birth.  Suffice to say that it is much easier to have an ecstatic birth when we consciously conceive our children and they are deeply wanted.

Problem #2 – Unhealthy relationships 

This is another huge topic and one that strongly speaks to the importance of having a healthy pre-conception environment in place BEFORE we conceive our babies. 

Millions (perhaps billions) of children are the product of dysfunctional, non-loving relationships.  Women are conceiving babies with men who do not (or cannot) love and nurture them and/or who are incapable of being supportive partners and parents.  Some women are in abusive relationships.  Others are partnered with drug addicts or alcoholics.  Still others are conceiving babies with men who do not respect them and who are womanizers or actually having sex with other women.  This sad reality is leaving a profoundly dark influence on our entire society. 

All of the above scenarios will interfere and negatively influence a woman’s chances of experiencing ecstatic birth.  Generally speaking, for ecstatic birth to occur, a woman needs to have absolute trust and faith in her partner.  The ability to be wholly intimate with ones partner and to feel totally safe and supported by him is a definite plus.  We will discuss this in more detail later, however, it is important to note that safety cannot be achieved in the context of a dysfunctional relationship and therefore, babies that are the product of such relationships are rarely born ecstatically.

Problem #3 – American social institutions teach us to fear birth

This is a very complex topic – one that I cannot possibly cover in detail in this paper.  However, it is important to note that Americans are constantly bombarded with images, stories, religious dogma and more – all of which affirm that birth is a terrifying and agonizing event – and that that is the way it should be!  We have allowed the media to define what birth looks like and we have accepted the trauma-filled stories of friends and family as proof-positive that birth was intended to be a brutal event.  We have become a completely disempowered society. 

If we want to take back our birthing power, and are committed to going for the best experience possible, I recommend viewing videos such as Birth As We Know It (www.birthasweknowit.com) and Orgasmic Birth (www.orgasmicbirth.com).  These videos will implant positive images about birth where none existed before and will remind us of The Truth about how birth is supposed to be.

Problem #4 – Hospitals instill fear and create trauma

This is another area where we need to be brutally honest with ourselves.  Hospitals are places of unspeakable horror – i.e., life-threatening injuries and illnesses, trauma, fear, death, disease, toxicity, etc.  If Americans weren’t being continuously bombarded with messages telling us that it is “normal” to give birth in a hospital, we would clearly see that what we are doing is insane. 

Hospitals do not provide a gentle or nurturing context in which to give birth and, on the contrary, generally offer one of the harshest environments imaginable.  Bright lights, cold temperatures, loud sounds, machines, metal, antiseptic smells, face masks, needles, IV’s, sharp surgical instruments, technological gadgets (just to name a few) – all of these things are completely alien and antagonistic to a gentle, natural birth.  Having a baby in this type of environment is usually not easy for the mother or child and can be extremely traumatizing for the entire family.  In many instances, a woman’s body will lock-up in fear the moment she walks into a hospital, causing her labor to halt and a parade of technological interventions to follow.  The interventions can feel violent and intrusive (i.e., episiotomy, repeated cervical exams, wrist restraints, forced starvation, c-sections, etc.) and have been know to disrupt the mother-infant bond.  Hospital staff tend to be so committed to their routines and procedures, they often overlook the intuitive knowing of the birthing woman, and force women to fight for their right to have a natural birth.  In some cases, hospital personnel are extremely rough and insensitive, leading some women to refer to their hospital experience as “birth rape.”

“With my first birth I left my body. It was so incredibly painful and so humiliating I felt that I was raped. As I mentioned, I was raped when I was 17, so I knew how it feels to be raped and the feelings of humiliation and discomfort that go along with that –the powerlessness. My first birth was in the hospital; I was tied to the bed and couldn’t move or protect myself. It was so incredibly emotionally painful that I left my body. I remember having the feeling of sitting on top of the curtain rod on the window and watching them cut the episiotomy and force drugs into the IV and tighten the wrist restraints.”  Barbara Harper[9]

“They forced me into a c-section — ruined my tummy and had me so traumatized I was going unconscious from stress.  My baby of course had serious decels and almost died as a result of their rushing in to my hosp room throwing my legs open and stuffing things up my vagina whenever they saw my baby’s heart going slow or so they say.  They never once came to explain anything to me – just rushed in by force – as if I were their prisoner and they could do all they pleased with me!!!  They had me so terrorized I want to go in a bush all alone with this pregnancy due in like 4 weeks.  I absolutely HATE drs now and am terrified of hospitals now after what we barely lived through 8 yrs ago.   My son was born via forced c section – I really mean forced.  Me and the dr. argued over and over.  That’s when he had the nurses rush in and attack me by surprise, right after I threatened to leave the hospital.  All my friends, family and the father were instructed to con me into a c-section at any cost.  My son was born with major breathing problems and a collapsed lung!!!  Spent like 5 days in the nicu and they even drug me!! Without my consent might I add.  It was quite an ordeal.  We won’t talk about the fiery burning pain I had on my stomach for months after that made me scream out loud.  They created a huge disaster just to win over the will of the mother to prove their dirty little point — the point being “it’s their hospital, we came there, we must comply or lose our lives, children, choices and rights.”  There was also talk of forcing me legally to get it [a C-section] or calling CPS on me. To finish my horror story guess what… I sued the dr. and he in turn filed bankruptcy promptly!! How’s that for a guilty conscience?  I wouldn’t wish that rape like experience on anyone – even my ex husband!!!”  Elizabeth Meyers

In the US, 95% of births are considered traumatic, 50% rated as moderately traumatic and 45% rated as severely traumatic.[10]  These statistics are a direct result of the practices and procedures being imposed on women and babies during hospital birth. 

Consider this quote which exquisitely articulates some of the emotional and spiritual consequences of mainstream birth:

“It is Man himself, deceived by the occult sciences and suggestions from the dark side who by his own intrusion has made childbirth painful for the mother and a fatal shock for the baby…

[The baby] gets born, but does not understand why it is being so rudely torn out of its pleasant and perfect Space and why its mother suffers and experiences pain.  The mother’s pain occasions untold mourning on the part of the child.

“…Anesthetics can lessen the mother’s physical pain, but they increase the mental pain for the infant, since anesthetics cut him off from contact with his mother.  Such a state instills in him fear and a lack of self-confidence, which continue even into adulthood, even into his most advanced years…

“Few women in today’s world realize that they do not have to frighten their baby – on the contrary, they can caress their child during labor, talk with it, express their thoughts to it, invite it to be born into the world.  And this need not be accompanied by any sensation of stress or pain…

 “When the woman experiences fear over her labor, this fear is felt by the child in the womb.

“When the woman experiences pain from her labor and has thoughts only for herself, the child in the womb experiences double the amount of pain.  He feels abandoned, and, above all, helpless and defenseless.  Such feelings are harmful, and they are lasting.  They wipe out the information the child has earlier received about the grand Creation, since they are in contradiction to it.  In this kind of birth, the child feels for the first time in his life that he is not the master of the Universe, but a worthless nonentity, subject to some kind of external forces.

“His body is born, but the spirit of mastery and of a kind creator is not born in him.  Such a Man will not become the likeness of the Divine.  A mere slave of some other entity he will remain, and he will try his whole lifetime to free himself from slavery…”[11]

Indeed, this is the predicament most of humanity is finding itself in now.  Ecstatic birth may provide us with a doorway to freedom, but we must be very conscious of how to create it.  In general, a hospital environment is NOT conducive to the experience of ecstatic birth and I highly recommend avoiding hospitals if at all possible.   The dangers inherent in a technological birth cannot be overstated and will be addressed in much more detail in my forthcoming book.

Problem #5 – Millions of people are carrying unresolved traumatic memories from their own prenatal and birth experiences.  This is influencing our capacity to give birth with ease.

This is another ENORMOUS topic and one that has remained hidden from most of society.

Millions of human beings are suffering from unconscious and unresolved memories of their own prenatal and birth experiences.  Because so many of us were conceived unconsciously, and because we were gestated in toxic womb environments and born to dysfunctional parents in dysfunctional relationships, we are a suffering species.  To compound this issue, the overwhelming majority of us were born in hospitals, where babies (and parents) are treated with harshness and extreme indifference to their emotional and spiritual needs.[12]

Early traumatic experiences have been known to cause a variety of problems later in life including, but not limited to, repetitive relationship problems, chronic health issues, drug and/or alcohol abuse, severe depression, chemical imbalances in the brain, learning disabilities, ADD & ADHD, uncontrollable violence, criminal behavior, fertility problems, and much, much more. 

Early imprints are stored somatically, and although our conscious minds may not be aware of them, our bodies remember.  Each time we become pregnant and/or attempt to give birth, the memories are likely to “activate” and can seriously influence our ability to give birth with ease.

This is another topic that requires our immediate attention and that will be addressed in great detail in my forthcoming book.  For those committed to the path of ecstatic birth, I strongly recommend undertaking an exploration of your own prenatal and birth experiences – particularly if you were born in a hospital.  This is important for both the mother and father and should ideally be done before you conceive your next baby.  Pregnancy is not the best time to be dealing with old trauma.

If you are already pregnant, do not lose heart.  It is not too late.  Healing can happen at any time during the childbearing process.  As soon as is possible, address the issue of your own prenatal and birth memories and work toward healing and repatterning any negative imprints you may be carrying.

If you would like to learn more about healing modalities that are beneficial for the healing of early trauma, and/or receive a questionnaire that can help you uncover some of your lost memory, please write to me at jeanicebarcelo@yahoo.com.

SO WHAT CAN WE DO TO CREATE AN ECSTATIC BIRTH

At this time, there is a growing trend of awareness happening all across the globe.  More and more people are realizing that they’ve been traumatized by their own gestation and birth experiences.  Others are recognizing the dangers inherent in technological birth.  Still others are clearly seeing that what we are doing is hurting our children. 

As a result, many people are now willing to make the changes necessary to create a whole new paradigm re:  conceiving, gestating, birthing and parenting our children.  The “ecstatic birth” movement is taking this planet by storm, and here is just a short list of things that we can do to enhance the possibility of a trauma-free, ecstatic birth:

1.  CREATE A HEALTHY, LOVING, PRE-CONCEPTION ENVIRONMENT

(a)Create a stable, loving, supportive, relationship before conceiving a child.  To re-iterate what was said earlier, if we want to create an ecstatic birth, it is very helpful to have absolute trust and intimacy with our partners.  If the father-to-be is a drug addict, alcoholic, abuser, or womanizer, emotional safety cannot be created and the likelihood of an ecstatic/orgasmic birth will be very slim.  (If the mother-to-be is any of the above, the situation is even worse).  How the father thinks about and treats the mother (i.e., as a sex object vs. a co-creator) will be imprinted onto the child’s psyche forever and will influence that child’s ability to have healthy relationships later in life.  This is especially true regarding the father’s thoughts and feelings toward the mother (and vice versa) at the precise moment of conception. 

Moreover, Dad’s willingness and capacity to nurture, honor and respect mom during conception, pregnancy, childbirth and parenting are extremely important as this will deeply affect mom’s emotions during pregnancy and childbirth.  Remember that baby is swimming in mom’s neuro-chemical experience.  Whatever mom experiences, baby experiences as well.  Therefore, it is extremely beneficial for mom to feel completely safe, supported, nurtured, nourished, and loved, both during her pregnancy and at birth and beyond.  Please see the following article:  “Researchers Say Stress In the Womb Can Last a Lifetime” http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/155879.php for more information about this critical topic.

Although what I am about to say may come across as “preachy,” I am going to say it anyway just to help jog women’s knowing about how easy it would be to shift things on this planet if we all decided to totally honor ourselves. 

It is my strong belief (after 50 years of doing the opposite) that women should refuse to have sexual relations with dysfunctional, womanizing men.  If all women did this, not only would lustful male behavior quickly cease, but distorted and dysfunctional male energy would stop reproducing itself since wounded men would never find women to make babies with! 

Presto – an instant cure to what is happening on our planet today.

Waiting to conceive a baby until such time as we have successfully attracted a man who is loving, nurturing and protective of us, is extremely beneficial.  Consider this list, put together by Belden Johnson, of positive fatherhood qualities that we might want to insist on before we conceive a baby with any man:

Fatherhood – By Belden Johnson

- A man loving himself and his future children enough to heal himself of his past wounds before he chooses a woman to conceive with.
- A man nourishing himself by choosing a good woman & committing to a consciously-loving relationship into which to warmly welcome wished-for children.
- A man nourishing his woman by speaking total truth, by taking 100%  responsibility for his reality, by supporting her highest good as well as his own, by co-creating equally with her the safe nest of home & family.
- A man who tells his 8-month pregnant wife how beautiful she is.
- A man who creates lullabies to sing to his baby in the womb.
- A man who also wants a home birth with a midwife & is completely present during the labor & delivery.
- A man who protects children, male & female, from genital mutilation & sexual abuse.
- A man who chooses to work half-time so he can parent half-time.
- A man who changes all the diapers.
- A man who dispenses with diapers & becomes the Permanent Pooper Scooper for as many years as it takes.
- A man who loves skin-to-skin contact with his babies.
- A man who welcomes a family bed.
- A man who carries his baby in a Snuggli or a Gerry-pack.
- A man who plays the piano with one hand while holding his baby with the other.
- A man who kills his television & reads his children stories.
- A man who wrestles with his children and always lets them win.
- A man who coaches co-ed sports teams for his children and, when they ask who won, tells them that whoever had fun won.
- A man who creates an alternative schooling for children who need it.
- A man who will gladly teach & gladly learn.
- A man who says it’s OK to cry, or be afraid, or angry, or excited.
- A man who can cry, & be afraid, & be angry without violence or blaming.
- A man who knows that he is the caretaker of Divine Souls, who come trailing clouds of Glory from God who is their home.
- A man who celebrates his children’s differences from him & encourages them to become whoever & whatever they wish to become.
- A man who, when the time comes, can let the birds fly the nest & bless them on their way out into the global family.
- A man who fathers all children, & weeps for the fatherless.[13]

(b)          Prepare your body for conception.  As I briefly mentioned earlier in the essay, millions of people were/are being gestated in wombs filled with cigarette smoke, alcohol, drugs and/or chemical or emotional toxicity.  This sad reality is negatively impacting us on both an individual and global level.  Fetuses that are exposed to cigarette smoke, alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription drugs, and/or toxic chemicals are in danger of developing “toxic womb shock” as well as a variety of physical and/or behavioral disorders later in life.  To avoid this predicament, it is wise for a mother-to-be (and the father too) to cleanse her body before she conceives a baby and to eat the healthiest, most vibrant foods available before conception, during pregnancy, and after birth (especially while she is breastfeeding).  It is also important to avoid smoking and using alcohol or drugs of any kind.  Stay clear of toxic cleaning products and chemical lawn and garden products and consider using only herbal, organic, skin and hair-care products on your body.  Any or all of these steps will benefit both you and your baby.  A healthy body is much more likely to produce a birth experience that is easy and/or ecstatic.

(c)Create a loving, nurturing, stable, non-toxic, home environment within which to conceive, gestate and birth your baby.  This is an extremely important topic, despite the fact that what I am about to share may seem odd in a society that views hospital birth as “normal.” 

In the United States, babies are being conceived in unusual places (like cars or restrooms), gestated in “homes” where parents have no long-term connection to the house or the land, and then birthed in hospitals, where the child emerges into a fear-based, trauma-filled environment.  This reality is influencing us, as humans, in a very negative way.

It is my belief that the ideal build-up toward ecstatic birth involves creating a “space of love” in which to conceive, gestate, and birth our babies.[14]  Ideally, this space would be beautiful, nurturing, safe, and stable… a space that genuinely feels like home.

In ancient cultures, families developed a deep bond with the Earth and with a particular parcel of land.  The land– which was held in perpetuity and passed down from generation to generation – provided nourishment, sustenance, shelter, and safety.  In ancient cultures, like that of Hawaii, the land was/is considered to be a member of the family – a loving, all-giving ancestor.  It was in this “space of love” (on their own parcels of land, where they grew their own food and communicated with Source/God through their work with the land) that families conceived, gestated and birthed their babies.  There were no hospitals.  There was no need.

Our society has moved very far away from this long-standing, human tradition.  As a result of our technological lifestyle, many of us have lost our connection to the Earth and, due to the economic system under which we live, are unable to “own” or make a long-term connection with any piece of land.  Millions are relegated to living in box-like, cement structures, in situations of overcrowding and density, completely separated from the natural world, and displaced and alienated from Mother Earth.  This is a reality that must shift if we are to fully reclaim our innate ability to give birth ecstatically.[15]

Until such time as we have been able to fully cure our separation and alienation from our Mother Planet, it is our task to do our best to create the best environment possible within which to conceive, gestate and birth our babies.  Creating a home space that feels nurturing, stable, and safe (and having that same environment be free of toxic chemicals and emotions) is very beneficial.

(d)          Conceive your baby consciously.  As discussed above, mom and dad should make a conscious decision to conceive a baby together.  Any other scenario will inhibit the chances for ecstatic birth.

(e)         Do Whatever You Can To Heal and/or Resolve Any Negative Prenatal and Birth Memories – Ideally BEFORE Conception.  As I briefly mentioned above, it is very important for both mom and dad to address the issue of their own negative imprints from past prenatal and birth experiences including their own births and their own experiences inside their mother’s womb.  Negative prenatal imprints can include, but are not limited to:

(i)                  being conceived unconsciously

(ii)                being conceived in lust

(iii)               mom or dad experiencing feelings of shame or guilt during the lovemaking that leads to our conception

(iv)              being in a womb where we are not wanted

(v)                being in a womb where our mother contemplates abortion while she is pregnant with us

(vi)              being in a toxic womb (i.e., mom and/or dad are ingesting cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, or are exposed to toxic substances from the environment)

(vii)             being in a womb that is emotionally toxic (mom and/or dad are under extreme stress, or are chronically depressed, anxious, or fearful)

Negative birth imprints can include, but are not limited to:

(i)                  being born in a hospital

(ii)                being induced

(iii)               being born into a cold environment with bright lights

(iv)              being born into an environment where one is surrounded by loud machines, sharp metal objects, and people wearing masks

(v)                being handled roughly or with emotional indifference at birth

(vi)              being exposed to pitocin, narcotics, anesthetics or any other drug during labor[16]

(vii)             being pulled out of the womb with forceps

(viii)           being sucked out of the womb with a vacuum

(ix)              being forcibly removed from the womb through C-section

(x)                being separated from our mother at birth

(xi)              being left in a nursery immediately after birth, surrounded by other screaming, terrified infants who have also been left alone

(xii)             being exposed to premature cutting of the umbilical cord

(xiii)           being wrapped tightly in a blanket so that we cannot move and have no skin-to-skin contact with our mother

(xiv)           being in an incubator

(xv)            being relegated to a neo-natal intensive care unit and subjected to their protocols and procedures

(xvi)           circumcision

All of the above can leave damaging and lasting imprints on our psyche and can cause dysfunctional psychological and behavioral patterns throughout life.  If left unattended, these imprints can definitely influence the way we give birth.  Please contact me at jeanicebarcelo@yahoo.com if you need support or if would like to receive more information about this very important topic.

2.  PREPARE YOURSELF FOR NATURAL BIRTH.  It is extremely beneficial for us, as birthing parents-to-be, to learn as much as we can about the process of natural childbirth BEFORE we give birth to our babies.  This would include reading books, viewing films, taking classes and doing anything else that we are guided to do in order to empower ourselves with knowledge about birth.  There are literally hundreds of books, films and classes about natural birth and/or water birth which would be very beneficial.  Here are some links to movie trailers that I highly recommend:

Birth As We Know It – 10 minute trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZtYCHASqNM&feature=PlayList&p=5DDA3FF18CA45A6C&index=0&playnext=1

Birth As We Know It – 3 minute theatrical trailer

http://www.birthasweknowit.com/theatrical_trailer.html

Orgasmic Birth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG_6IVmXvr0

Birth Trauma

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX_FbcEcMFg

The Business of Being Born

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DgLf8hHMgo

Pregnant in America

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3WWNKurKjA

The Other Side of the Glass – A Birth Film For Fathers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIx_rbquVgM

We Can Be Much Kinder

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=95071256606&h=ZA-xp&u=o3kOu&ref=nf

What Babies Want

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipjp9dC3tjo&feature=PlayList&p=ED8AE5E6E26E932B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1

Reducing Infant Mortality

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFaryTo0w4U

I also recommend reading any books by Michele Odent and Sheila Kitzenger.

3.  CHOOSE A GENTLE, SAFE PLACE TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR BABY – A PLACE WHERE YOU FEEL SECURE AND PROTECTED

As mentioned above, giving birth within our own “space of love” is the ideal context for the experience of ecstatic birth.  For those who have not yet been able to create such a space, it is helpful to birth in a place where we feel extremely safe – a space that is warm and nurturing and that is free of noxious people, sights and sounds.   For many women, that space would be their home. 

If the birthing space is surrounded by the natural world, that is a definite plus.  Sights and sounds of the natural world can create ease and gentleness for mom and baby, and allow for the deepest levels of relaxation to occur.

Giving birth in water can also be very helpful.  Water not only eases the pain of contractions (my own personal experience is that water cuts the pain in half), but can also make for a very gentle, ecstatic entry for our babies.

“I was eight centimeters. I asked her if I could get in the pool and she said ‘Use your own judgment,’ so I got in. The minute I got in, the minute I sank into the water, it was like as if a lightening bolt hit me. I experienced very intense five to eight contractions. I said that I want to push, and she couldn’t believe me since I was just eight a few minutes ago, and she asked me to come out and to check me again, I stood up and had another contraction and said “No.. no.. no I am getting back in the water, I can’t get out.” My partner got behind me and very soon after that I started pushing. Oming… I was making sounds as if I was being made love to… really letting that sound out enjoying every single movement… I could feel the micromovement of his head right through me, I could feel everything intensely. As I was birthing him there was this incredible orgasmic tantric relief, and my body just went with it, I shuddered from head to toe. When I have an orgasm my toes always curl up and I remember my toes curling at the bottom of the birthing pool. It was as if every fiber of my being was having an orgasm…”[17]

Keep in mind that whatever mom is experiencing, baby is experiencing also.  If water can help create the kind of ease and/or ecstasy described above, it is certainly a very good option for those committed to the path of ecstatic birth.

As previously mentioned (yes, I am really trying to hammer this point home), hospitals are typically not the easiest environment in which to create an ecstatic birth.  Nevertheless, for some women, a hospital will seem like the safest choice.  I encourage all women to follow their truth, and for those who choose to give birth in a hospital, I would like to remind you that you have the power to create an ecstatic birth – no matter where you decide to give birth.  As my friend, April Bevin, acknowledges,

“It takes a LOT of preparation and strength, mentally and emotionally – but it is not impossible [to have an ecstatic birth in a hospital]…” 

Here is what happened for April during her hospital birth:

“…you see, I did not experience pain in labour, though neither did I experience orgasm in the first and second stages of labour. However, after choosing not to have the syntocinon [i.e., synthetic oxytocin/pitocin] injection routinely given post-birth (known as third stage) to stimulate the ejection of the placenta from the uterus (something the body is naturally designed to do on it’s own, without the need for any injection), the placenta came out in it’s own time… and when it did – woOoAaoaoooOOoohhhhhh! (insert ecstatic, highly orgasmic groan of pleasure *here*.)

Yes, I had a naturally pain-free, speedy, easy, EUPHORIC delivery – and to top it off, an absolutely indescribable out-of-this-world orgasm!

Will we be having more children? Yes, please!”  April Bevin

4.  BE VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU HAVE AT YOUR BIRTH

For many women, privacy during birth is extremely important.  Some women are choosing to birth their babies alone (“unassisted childbirth”), while others are choosing to birth with only their partners and/or family members or a midwife present. 

Many who have gone the route of “passionate birth” (i.e., integrating sexual stimulation into their labors) say they could not have had the freedom to be sensual with their partners if other people were present during labor.  This is a very important point.  If we want to be truly able to surrender to our most primal, passionate instincts, it is helpful to have as few people as possible in the birthing space.  If we feel we must have others present, it is wise to select only those with whom we are completely comfortable and safe.

Some women have eagerly invited loved ones to be present for their births, only to find that these people brought fear and tension into the birthing field.  This is a very common occurrence because, all-too-often, people at the birth have unhealed memories from their own birth experiences.  As mentioned earlier, unresolved memories will activate as soon as someone gets close to a live birth.  This can disrupt the entire birthing field.  In some instances, the birthing mother ends up being worried about what is happening for the other people in the room, which completely distracts her from her own primal birthing process.  As a general rule, the fewer people at a birth, the better.

If being alone and/or with your partner does not feel right for you, it is helpful to choose people to be at your birth who are totally comfortable with natural birth and completely respectful and supportive of mom, baby and the entire birthing family.  Midwives or other birth attendants are best to have a “hands-off” policy, unless intervention is expressly requested by mom or seems absolutely necessary for the well-being of mom and/or baby.

Again, I will repeat, birth in a hospital is generally not conducive to ecstatic birth.  It is very difficult to relax and feel safe (much less sensual) in a room where a parade of strangers are continuously marching in and out of the space.[18]  These same strangers are likely to be demanding that you give birth on their schedule and threatening to impose technological interventions on you as a means of quelling their own fears about birth.  If you choose to go to a hospital, it is helpful to have a fiercely protective and knowledgeable husband with you who will enforce appropriate boundaries for you and your baby.  Also, doulas can be extremely helpful and protective in a hospital environment.

In general, keep your birthing space as quiet and private as possible, but have knowledgeable, supportive people close by who can be called on for help if needed. 

5.  DO YOUR BEST TO KEEP TECHNOLOGY OUT OF THE BIRTH EXPERIENCE

Michele Odent has argued that birth is primarily a function of the primitive brain and that, when left to its own devices, birth is something that the body knows how to do instinctually and automatically – with relative ease and grace. 

When technology is introduced into the birth experience, birth becomes a whole different animal.  Technology activates the mental (rather than instinctual) centers of the brain, which can detract from the primitive brain’s capacity to do its work properly.  Moreover, the emotional center of the brain (known as the “limbic system”) can be negatively stimulated at the introduction of fear-activating technology such as fetal heart monitors, sharp metal instruments used to cut female bodies, wrist restraints, needles, IV’s, etc.  In actually, just about every hospital intervention would fall into the category of causing fear in most women and fear permeates most hospital environments.

When a woman’s body senses that it is in danger, the primitive brain will send a signal to the body to stop the birth.  The body will only resume the birthing process when and if the primitive brain determines that it is safe to do so.  All too often, the minute a woman enters a hospital environment, the danger detectors of the primitive brain will begin to send signals to the body of “NOT SAFE, NOT SAFE.”  As a result, birth halts and a cascade of technological interventions follow, effectively forcing birth to happen in a context that is completely contrary to a normal and healthy birth.

Even the most seemingly benign technology, such as a television, can inhibit the birthing woman’s ability to give birth with ease.  Television can cause the thinking part of the woman’s brain to activate (i.e., the cortex), which can override the primitive brain’s capacity to run the show.  This is not a healthy occurrence during the birth process and is particularly problematic if there are violent or fear-based images flashing across the screen.

Technological gadgets can also frighten your baby and leave him/her with a visual birth imprint that is completely alien to the human species.  When babies emerge from the womb into a setting of machines, metal, beeping/buzzing/pounding/banging sounds, sharp surgical instruments, face-masks, needles, bright lights, etc. they feel terrified.  Compounding this initial shock is the reality that hospital personnel then smack you, cut off your oxygen supply (by cutting the umbilical cord too soon), handle you roughly, take you away from your mother, do irrelevant things to you like put you on an ice cold metal scale to weigh you, drop burning poison in your eyes, stick needles in your feet, and, if you are a boy, cut off a piece of your penis, often without any anesthesia, etc.  Naturally, the child will be left with a psychological and emotional imprint that says “this world is a terrifying and unsafe place.”

Be aware of the impact that technology can have on you and your baby’s experience and try to avoid it if at all possible.

6.  DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR BODY AND ESPECIALLY THE PREGNANT BODY. 

For childbirth to be ecstatic, it is important for the birthing woman to feel at home in her body and to know that her body is beautiful (especially when pregnant) and innately competent and powerful.  Birth can be a very smooth event for those who totally trust their body’s ability to do just the right thing at just the right time to bring a baby through.  Being able to surrender to the process of childbirth, in the knowing that there is nothing intellectual a woman needs to do to make birth happen, is a plus.

Participating in things like yoga, dance, swimming, massage, etc., can enhance the comfort we feel with our bodies and provide us with a sense that we are beautiful and powerful.  Find the things that work best for you and play with them.  Let this be a time in your life when you develop a love affair with your body.

7.  DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR OWN SEXUALITY AND WITH THE SEXUALITY OF CHILDBIRTH.

Judeo-Christian religious teachings have caused many women to feel shame about their sexuality and a sense that they deserve to be punished – simply because they are women.  Religious beliefs about Eve’s “original sin,” combined with religious condemnation of female sexuality, in general, has left many of us feeling as if our erotic feminine essence is dangerous, dirty and “bad.”  This has caused a perversion in the expression of both male and female sexuality and led us down a very dark road of prostitution, lust, and pornography.

For those who are committed to the path of ecstatic birth, it is important to break free of this ideological control so that we may reclaim our feminine potency and power. 

Femininity is sensual.  It is lush, fertile and juicy.  It is extremely magnetic and attractive and, in my opinion, it is magnificently beautiful.  I encourage all women – especially those who are planning to make babies – to own this Truth and to think about themselves as Goddesses.

Female sexuality was designed for the pleasure of creating and bringing forth life.  There is no experience that could be more profound than this.   There is no greater gift that we could be given and no greater gift that we could offer the Earth.  Let’s own the awesome beauty of our sexy, baby-making power and tell the patriarchal controllers of conscious thought to take their bogus, misogynist stories elsewhere. 

Once we choose to own our own bodies and our sexuality, we may even be so bold as to decide it might be a fun idea to integrate sexual stimulation into our labors.  By this, I do not mean that we should have active, sexual intercourse during labor.  Rather, I am encouraging things like kissing, caressing, and maybe even oral or digital stimulation of the nipples and clitoris during labor.  All of these things activate sexual pleasure in the female body, which will ultimately alleviate pain.  Orgasms during labor can trigger a series of very strong, pleasurable contractions, which can lead to the speedy and easy delivery of our child. 

It is also helpful to be able to look in the mirror while we are kneeling on all fours during labor and think to ourselves “Wow – look how sexy and beautiful I am!”  Positive emotions about our bodies and our sexuality can only enhance the experience of childbirth. 

If you need help creating a deeper understanding of how childbirth can be a sexy and sensual experience, I recommend reading the following article:  Ecstatic/Orgasmic Birth Article -   http://jeanicebarcelo.wordpress.com/2009/07/05/barbara-harpers-ecstaticorgasmic-birth-story/  and/or viewing the DVD’s “Birth As We Know It” and “Orgasmic Birth.”

CONCLUSION

Well, it is time to take a deep breath.  The terrain we have just covered is radical and revolutionary only because we live in a society that has come so far from the world of natural birth.  I encourage you to take as much time as you need to integrate this material and to recognize that much of what was just shared, you already knew.

As you pursue the path to ecstatic birth, empower yourself in whatever ways you feel guided and make a commitment to protect yourself and your baby from harsh and unnecessary interventions. 

Ecstatic birth is our birthright.  For many, it is also our destiny.  As we awaken from the spell that has manipulated our birthing consciousness for the last 100+ years, we are bound to return to our pristine capacity to give birth with ease and grace.  I honor your journey as you walk this road of empowerment and reclamation and invite you to share your newfound wisdom with others. 

If you feel inclined to share your birth stories with me so that I may possibly include them in my forthcoming book, please write to me at jeanicebarcelo@yahoo.com.  I would be most grateful.

Please also visit my website:  www.ecstaticbirthmaui.com for more information.

 [2] Vladimir Megre, Rites of Love, Ringing Cedars Press, Paia, HI, 2008, p. 160.

 [3] An ecstatic birth is basically the opposite of a mainstream birth whereby mother after mother comes through the assembly line of hospital birth feeling traumatized and deeply depressed – and then told by friends and family that she should be “thankful” she has a “healthy” [albeit severely traumatized] baby.  In a typical hospital birth, both mom and baby (and dad too) intuitively sense that they’ve been robbed of what should have been a joyous, empowering, love-filled experience.  Instead of joy and deep satisfaction, there is grief.  The lack of ability on the part of the mother and child to experience the neurobiology of love at birth (due to technological interference/abuse, separation of mother and child at birth, pain-inducing interventions such as episiotomy, etc.) triggers a neuro-chemical, physiological experience of mourning instead.  Naturally, the bond between mother and child is adversely affected, as is the well-being of the entire family. 

[4] Barbara Harper on her own Ecstatic/Orgasmic birth, quoted as “Beverly” in the dissertation of Danielle Harel, “Sexual Experiences of Women During Childbirth,” Dissertation submitted to the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, January, 2007, pp. 27-28”).

[5] Harel dissertation, quoting Barbara Harper (i.e., “Beverly”), p. 33.

[6] Harel dissertation, quoting “Faith”, p. 41.

 [7] Harel dissertation, quoting Barbara Harper, p. 34.

 [8] This statistic was found in a review of the film “Orgasmic Birth.”  You can find the article here:  http://www.feministfriendly.com/2009/04/originally-published-at-feminist-review.html.

 [9] Harel dissertation, quoting Barbara Harper, p. 33.

 [10] Study done by William Emerson, expert in pre- and perinatal psychology and pioneer in the field of birth trauma healing.

[11]  From the Anastasia series by Vladimir Megre (www.ringingcedars.com), Book 8.2., Rites of Love, pp. 160-162.

 [12] “I was not a person with certain needs, I was a chart and another thing to be crossed off of a list…”  From the cesarean birth story of Vicki Davis.

[13] This list was taken from the Birth and Early Parenting Educators website:  http://www.bepe.info/topics.htm.  Fatherhood, collected, arranged, and presented by Belden Johnson before the Association for Pre- & Perinatal Psychology & Health, San Francisco, December 6, 1999.

[14]   For more information about the concept of a “Space of Love,” please go to www.ringingcedars.com and order the Anastasia books written by Vladimir Megre.  In a nutshell, a “space of love” is a magical home environment that is created in a part of the world that we adore, on a parcel of land that we love and can hold in perpetuity.  On this land, we create a nourishing home space and a flourishing, beautiful garden that develops and becomes more beautiful with time.  Our relationship with the land, and with the plants and living space all around us, is what creates the space of love.  Conceiving, gestating and birthing our babies in this space will allow for the preservation of love in our family – forever. 

 [15] For more on this topic, please check out this link:  Makena, Maui – Home of a Future Ringing Cedars Settlement – Focused on Conscious Birth:  http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest&note_id=103057994444

[16] Please read the following article for the sordid reality regarding the use of pitocin (i.e., synthetic oxytocin) during hospital birth:  http://keyboardrevolutionary.blogspot.com/2009/07/just-when-id-thought-id-heard-it-all.html.  This article suggests that doctors are using high doses of pitocin to deliberately cause babies to go into fetal distress so they can move more quickly to do a C-section.  “Pit to Distress” is the medical term being used and, as one nurse said, “I’ve had an MD say to me… ‘Pit to distress so we can cut her and get it over with.’”  Jenee Clark

[17] Harel dissertation, p. 32.

[18] As one birthing woman put it, “There were so many doctors and nurses in the room I felt more like a science experiment than a new mother.”  Vicki Davis.

Barbara Harper, well known for her amazing work with waterbirth and her book, “Gentle Birth Choices,” gave a candid interview in 2005 with Danielle Harel, while she was working on her PhD dissertation (2007) “Sexual Experiences of Women During Childbirth.”  The original interview was done when Barbara was 54 years old, single and the mother of three.  She was told that her story was confidential, but when she read it in an email that was sent out, she decided to go “public” and own her sexual experience with her second birth. She gave birth at home 25 years ago in 1984. The experience changed her life:

Here are some excerpts from the original interview:
It changed my life and I wouldn’t be doing the work that I am doing if I didn’t have this experience. Because I remember just a few minutes after he was born saying to my midwife “Oh my God, I have to tell women they can have orgasms during birth!” 

It was an incredible experience of oneness with my baby. It was a feeling of transcendence, a spiritual transcendence. My yoga guru used to say: “A woman that prepares and gives birth with consciousness experiences the same enlightenment as spending twenty years on the top of the mountain meditating.” You can experience oneness and transcendence with God. It is an incredibly spiritual experience. It is as if you have the ability to cross over to the other side and then come back and be completely in love with this angel being.

Sexual messages in childhood:

As a child I got the messages that sex is forbidden, dirty, hidden and not to be discussed. My mother deliberately went through art books and tore out all the famous paintings of naked women, yet my father kept Playboys under his side of the mattress.  Talk about mixed messages! I was probably around 16 or 17 when I experienced my first orgasm through masturbation. It just felt different. Like… oh!  But that was around the same time as having been raped by an older relative. Something that could never have been discussed or shared with my family. So, it was locked away in my psyche.

What was your conception like:
I had a conception orgasm. I knew that I was conceiving. I felt the moment of conception, and that was an incredible feeling, and I felt the communication of the spirit – everything. Had a vision of the baby talking to me at the same moment of conception. His conception orgasm was probably the most powerful orgasm in my life except the orgasm I had when he was born.

Childbirth preparation:

I believe my tantric practices influenced my second birth, one of the other things that influenced my second birth experience is rebirthing. I worked closely with, Binnie Dansby, a rebirther who was then from southern California. I worked closely with her from the beginning of my second trimester all the way to the end of my pregnancy. We would do rebirthing on the bed and in warm water rebirthing sessions. We used an isolation tank – it is a completely enclosed capsule that is filled with shallow water containing Epsom salts.  That was a way to be in touch or access your origins and feelings at surround your source experience – birth – bonding and all of those issues. It was a delightfully incredible experience.  I took the time to focus and concentrate. The focus was to get me into my body, to be physically present, to “feel” my feelings and experience them in my body. With that
pregnancy I was probably more body focused then anytime in my life. It brought me in touch with what I needed emotionally and mentally. It was more right brain work than I had ever previously done and as a result it gave me this emotional connection with my body and with my sexuality, not to mention this amazing being growing inside of me. I felt connected to the baby’s thoughts, especially when I was in the deprivation tank.  You float and completely relax and when the baby moves, your entire body moves in the water.  It is like the baby takes over your body.  Just amazing.

I wasn’t a midwife at the time, but had previously worked as a labor and delivery nurse and knew a lot.  I was working as a holistic nurse in a doctor’s office, but I decided to totally prepare for a waterbirth. I got on a plane and actually went to France to seek out the one doctor that I knew was doing waterbirth in Pithiviers, France.  I wanted to find Michel Odent2, and called the hospital once I got to Paris, only to find that he wasn’t there. He was on his first lecture trip to the US, and was actually in my home town of Santa Barbara, when I was in Pithiviers.  But I glad he was gone because it gave me a chance to observe the midwives and experience natural birth first hand.  I’ll always remember the first woman that I witnessed have a completely natural birth standing up over a sheet spread on the floor.  The look on that young woman’s face as her eyes met her baby’s eyes for the first time is etched in my brain forever. I stayed there for a week and took childbirth classes both in Pithiviers and Lelila, outside of Paris. I was directed to the hospital where Fredrick Leboyer3 had worked and met with the midwives and a wonderful woman who taught childbirth classes there. I was able to meet with Leboyer for a quick interview. In both places I was shown a large round blue built-in bath in the labor ward, in which hundreds of women had already given birth. I was on a mission to find out the most I could about water labor and waterbirth. I was already about six months pregnant and was fortunate to stay in France for a couple of weeks and soak up this environment and knowledge. I had a very young man who was my driver and translator and when we parted at the airport on my way home, he confiding in me that his mother was going to be very proud of him. When I inquired why, he said, “because after attending all those childbirth classes with you and translating, I now have a different view of women and would never think of having sex before I was married!!”  I laughed and got on my plane to return to Santa Barbara and prepare for a waterbirth. 

The birth story:

I had planned a home birth, and I had planned for a lot of people to be there, all together there were supposed to be twelve people. My massage therapist, a harpist with a big concert harp playing live music, my acupuncturist in case I needed pain management, my housekeeper, my cook, my best friend, my rebirther, my partner, of course, and I can’t remember who everyone else was.  I had constructed my own pool with Binnie’s help, and put it together at the end of my bed. It was a lovely house with a big bay window in the bedroom overlooking the garden.  When the contractions began I was on my hands and knees planting an herb garden with my friend, Michael.  I was very happy that I was having contractions, and I was very comfortable. Being on my hands and knees felt sexy to me, it just felt wow… my lower chakra was kind of buzzing. I went in to take a shower in the late afternoon after about two hours of mild contractions.  I remember standing with the warm water flowing down on me, pulling on my nipples and stimulating myself to the point of having an orgasm. I kept thinking ‘It can’t hurt,’ feeling really good about it and the contractions were really strong right after that orgasm. I repeated that in the shower another time and then laid on the bed and did it again, kind of experimenting to see how it affected the intensity of my contractions. I started calling people just to let them know that I was in labor, but didn’t reach one single person, so I got in the car and went to the grocery store, thinking that I had to feed all those guests.  I also stopped at the florist and ordered about $900 worth of floral bouquets and live plants to be delivered.  I remember wanting flowers in every room in the house.  While I was in the grocery store, the contractions got very intense and I remember leaning over the cart and breathing through them. The cashier at that store was worried because I could not carry on a conversation without stopping to breathe.  She wanted to call an ambulance and I told her proudly that I was going home to have a waterbirth.  She at least got someone to carry out my groceries!!  When I got home I tried calling people, again, and still couldn’t find any one. So I left messages on answering machines. I tried paging my midwife and even she didn’t answer. I didn’t panic; I was ready to do this birth by myself if I had to. My partner finally came home, and he got excited and we filled the tub and we got in bed and made love while I was in labor. I just had him doing clitoral stimulation, and he loved to suck on my nipples, and I had orgasm after orgasm. I was so happy that nobody was around; otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this. Then it got really intense and I was walking around, but never, not even once did I not enjoy the power and the intensity of it and to me it all felt very sexual. My belly and my groin were lit up, on fire, I was always touching myself, enjoying the juices that were coming out of me. I got back in the shower and I was chanting, “opppen” and “OM” when my midwife finally arrived. She asked me to get on the bed and she checked me. I was eight centimeters. I asked her if I could get in the pool and she said “Use your own judgment,” so I got in. The minute I got in, the minute I sank into the water, it was as if a super charged lightening bolt went through me. I experienced some very intense – perhaps five to six contractions. I turned to my midwife and said that my body was pushing, and she couldn’t believe me since I was just eight a few minutes ago.  But my body was vibrating and I was OMMMING loudly.  She then asked me to come out so she could check me again and when I stood up I had another contraction and said “No.. no.. no I am getting back in the water, I can’t get out.” My partner got behind me and very soon after that I vocalized while my body was pushing. Oming… I was making sounds as if I was being made love to… really letting that sound out enjoying every single movement… I could feel the micromovement of his head right through me, I could feel everything intensely. As he was coming through me, there was this incredible orgasmic tantric relief, and my body just went with it, I shuddered from head to toe. When I have an orgasm my toes always curl up and the soles of my feet burn with heat and I remember my toes curling at the bottom of the birthing pool. It was as if every fiber of my being was having an orgasm and then suddenly the midwife lifted him right up onto my chest. He didn’t cry, but simply breathed in the dark quiet candle-lit room.

I got out of the tub, leaving my son with his father cradling him in the water, and got into the bed to check for tears.  All of a sudden I heard a dripping sound …and in few minutes the whole tub collapsed… 300 gallons of water on the bedroom floor, blood clots, placenta and more, all over. I was high from the birth and I didn’t care… “It will get cleaned up.” They put him back on my chest naked and he stayed there just like that for two days. It was amazing.

When I think about the birth I feel pure and absolute joy, remarkable, wonderful happiness. I still feel the fire in my belly, just a warm sensation. It is not an orgasm. When I tell my birth story I can feel myself relaxing, it just feels pleasant in my body.
I wasn’t prepared for this kind of sexual experience, my rebirthing coach talked a lot about moving from pain to pleasure. She worked with me about experiencing pleasure but never put it in sexual or orgasmic terms. Binnie always talked about choosing… that we can choose in every moment to experience pain or pleasure, and I was choosing pleasure. It changed me in the sense that I felt very powerful afterwards and I felt empowered to be his mother. I fell in love with him
so completely, so amazingly, I would do anything to protect him and take care of him. Now that I know what I know about these powerful love hormones… if I am having the most powerful orgasm of my life I am soaked with oxytocin and betaendorphins. I was changed enormously. I tell everybody that my 22 year old son and I have never had one single argument between us. I look at the picture of him and my chest just expands, and it started with his birth.

What do you think allowed this experience to happen?

I had prepared myself physically, spiritually and mentally for a pleasurable experience in labor. I was surprised by the intensity of orgasm at birth but welcomed it at the same time.

In what way did it feel sexual or orgasmic?

In every way! It was a total body-mind-spirit. With my first birth I left my body. It was so incredibly painful and so humiliating I felt that I was raped. As I mentioned, I was raped when I was 17, so I knew how it feels to be raped and the feelings of humiliation and discomfort that go along with that –the powerlessness. My first birth was in the hospital; I was tied to the bed and couldn’t move or protect myself. It was so incredibly emotionally painful that I left my body. I remember having the feeling of sitting on top of the curtain rod on the window and watching them cut the episiotomy and force drugs into the IV and tighten the wrist restraints.  Therefore, when I was working with rebirthing Binnie helped me be aware of when I was “leaving” my body and she worked with me on staying in my body and feeling the feelings no matter how scary or painful or conversely, pleasurable.  So much was tied into my personal sexuality of a mixture of pain and pleasure of love and rejection of being pleasing or being pleased.  During that birth and even now, my mantra is: “My body is safe no matter how much energy moves through it.” I remember this mantra and I have used it with hundreds of women. It really helped me move into experiencing pleasure.
How does this experience compare to masturbation or partner sex?

It is completely different – a hundred times more intense. I would say it is a similar body feeling and mind exploding, being able to open your chest and expand, all of that – hundred times more intense then orgasm through either masturbation, penetration or Tantra. It was an explosion from every fiber of my being. I was surprised by the intensity. When my sexuality arose I accepted it as a benefit and a reward for doing homework and being clear that my body had the incredible ability of doing this. I used a lot of imagery in my head. I used the candle imagery and the flower imagery, but not so much sexual imagery. Flowers tend to represent sexual imagery for me – a yoni opening – the tender blossoming of the petals of the rose. That is one reason I stopped at the florist to have roses and beautiful flowers all around me.

Did you share it with someone?

I tried to explain it to people 20 years ago and I had people say that I was doing a disservice to women. I was ridiculed and yelled at so I stopped talking about it… and I realized too that you really have to prepare your mind to have an orgasmic, ecstatic birth. You have to be in a place of being able to transcend and move from pain to pleasure. I have written things about it, but I stopped yelling it from the roof top and realized that we have so much work to do… that is why I rolled up my sleeves and began this work.

Did you experience pain?

I never felt pain. The sexual stimulation, making love in labor, and stimulating myself with my fingers and with my husband’s tongue opened me more. It just added to the pleasure and I never felt pain.

Did you feel sexual during breastfeeding?
 

Well, that is a topic that is not talked about much.
I found nursing in general very pleasurable, not exactly arousing but pleasant enough to know that it was juicy.

How did your sexuality compare before and after childbirth?

I feel like for a little while it was harder for me to have an orgasm, just for a little while, and maybe it was my mothering hormones that took over. I would say it was almost the same for me; because our sex life was always very open and passionate. We still had amazing sex.
My sexuality is very much connected to my body image; I remember an intentional thought that I had around 1992-3 that if I get fat I won’t have to deal with my sexuality. My body image was very much wrapped around my sexuality. I was a child of the sixties, before AIDS came into play, so there was a lot of experimentation. At some point I made the intention that I didn’t want to be in relationship and I just drew a line and said that was enough, and my body changed and I allowed myself to gain a lot of weight and get out of shape, so in my mind if I wasn’t appealing, looking sexy I wouldn’t have to think about my sexuality.

How did you feel about yourself as a woman after the sexual birth?

I did not stay with that partner.  We had another child two years after that, but the relationship was fraught with so much angst and difficulty that it was impossible to stay together. I made the conscious choice to be celibate after parting from him in 1989.  And now, even though I have not had sex for 15 years, I love my body. I love the feelings in my body and I test it out every now and then with masturbation.  Love my hand held shower!! I can still get orgasms from kissing – there was this one very attractive seat partner on a long overseas flight – it still works! I know it works, so I am not worried at all about that.  And when I am blessed to have the love of my life find me, I know that I will be very grateful, excited and very gifted in that department.  I will enjoy my sexuality to its fullest. Sexuality is more about how you think and how you respond than what you actually do to physically produce an orgasm. I live an ecstatic life and expect an ecstatic partnership some day.  I have spent these past 15 years growing and learning about who I am and what it all means to be a woman without limitations and my birth experiences helped mold me into the woman that I have become.

I must admit this week has been a little out of whack – you know one of those weeks where crying seems much more fun than laughing and no matter what you seem to do stress keeps its little claws dug in?!

Well anyways that’s been my week but today I feel great – I am sitting in the sunshine, listening to the birds and typing my little heart out for different article deadlines I have set myself – much nicer than doing my tax yesterday!

I have continued my orgasmic birth quest over the past week and its been quite a revelation in more ways than one! I mentioned last time that I had some amazing DVD’s – orgasmic birth being one of them however the other one was “The Big Stretch” which is an Australian made film, I managed to get some time earlier in the week to sit down and watch this and once again I found myself in awe of the female body and what we are capable of!

One thing that came up from this film though was a comment from one of the ladies on the DVD, she was telling the birth story of her 2nd child which she had hoped to birth the same way as her first; at home, with a midwife and naturally. Unfortunately, as these things happen, it didn’t quite go to plan with her being in labour for 12 hours with no dilation happening at all, very different from her first birthing experience. The story went on to tell that she ended up in the hospital (which she also said went extremely well just not the way she planned!) and she had to have an epidural, once this was in place her cervix dilated as the muscle was relaxed by the drugs.

The crux of all of this and the topic of this article is that the woman believed that the only difference between the 2 births was that she had had a LLETZ procedure to remove cancerous cells from her cervix between the birth of her first and second child. It is her belief that the surgery and consequent scar tissue inhibited her cervix from opening naturally.

Well this put me in quite a spin – I have had a LETZ procedure and so have many others that I know! Its rather a common procedure these days and if its impacting on birth in this way – WHY DON’T WE KNOW ABOUT IT?!

I have since spoken with a good friend of mine who also had a LLETZ procedure, a prolonged labour and some difficulties – she had not considered or even been made aware that this procedure could have impactedon her birth – but again – I wonder?

As I have a focus on healing the natural way I spoke at length with my acupuncturist/naturopath during the week and he confirmed that the cervix is a muscle and retains memory – particularly trauma therefore when it comes to expanding for birth if the cervix has undergone a traumatic experience it can impede its capacity to dilate, the use of an epidural will relax the muscle and allow for it to expand.

As I questioned him further,  he could see my obvious distress as all I could see was my well laid plans to birth naturally fly out the window!! he reassured me that there are most definitely methods available to prepare the cervix for birth – the use of herbs from a naturopathy perspective, and acupuncture techniques, I suspect there are others as well and will continue to investigate, however I do wonder whether the Yoni massage may also be a very important part of this development as well?! As many of you know I practice Reconnective healing and I believe that this would also go a long way to healing this particular challenge also…..

Oooh I just found this on a forum how very appropriate – my search was – How Do I Prepare my cervix for birth? This was an interesting response from

http://www.pregnancy.org/question/how-can-i-ripen-my-cervix

How Can I Ripen My Cervix?

QUESTION

Dear Midwife, ……It would be great to go into labor naturally, so my question to you is, in what ways can I naturally ripen my cervix and help my labor along? I would really appreciate any advice you can give me. Thanks, Jenelle

ANSWER

The usual ways to ripen the cervix without prescription medication include intercourse (semen contains prostaglandins), female orgasm (which produces oxytocin), nipple stimulation (which produces oxytocin), and any activity that produces Braxton-Hicks contractions. There are also a variety of herbal preparations that are thought to help, but which should not be used without the knowledge and agreement of your provider. — Cynthia, CNM

Ha ha I rest my case ORGASMIC BIRTHING ALL THE WAY!!!!! Happy orgasms ladies it seems they help in more ways than one!!! Whooo hooo!

I feel as if I should introduce myself properly – my name is Paige Haines, I am a qualified civil engineer  turned healing practitioner & Stress relief consultant!! Yep pretty diverse! I am 30 years of age and decided after travelling for quite a few years and indulging in a life of pure abandonment and self-abuse I decided that it was time to come home and face reality.  You see like many of us have done I was running away from past hurts and issues and so embarked on my journey of self discovery and healing.

This was long and involved and continues today but essentially at the core of my self-abuse and low self esteem was a deep seated issue of low self worth, stemming from, I believe, conception and the belief system I instilled that my father didnt want me and nor did his family, this lead to numerous incidents in my life not least of all sexual abuse at age 17 – I managed to mask all of this quite cleverly by a tough exterior and the image that I  had it all together – ask some of my closest friends and they would never have known – that was until I annihilated myself through alcohol to forget.  Part of my healing journey was bodywork, part of it was self-healing, part of it was sexual healing, part of it was emotional healing and part of it was energy work.  A massive part of it was supportive people and the desire to be the person I knew I could be!

What resulted was a total life transformation, a happy Paige with a loving partner, Tim, a family that is connected and loving and meaningful friendships and relationships – a far cry from the shell of the person who arrived home from travelling 4 years ago!   So it didn’t happen overnight it definitely took time – as most of you would appreciate – these journeys keep on keeping on but are well worth the effort.

So that brings me to today – now we have a little one on the way!!! His/ her nickname is Pim by the way! thanks to my  girlfriend Cath for that! – Paige+Tim = Pim! We are not finding out Pim’s sex until the birth so Pim will remain asexual in my references!

The preparation I have done so far? To be honest I have limited my intake of information to quality publications so as not to overwhelm such as Sarah J Buckley’s and Orgasmic Birthing.  I do have a book by Sheila Kitzinger – Pregnancy & Childbirth which I am slowly working through and I am also signed up to a website that sends me weekly updates.  Oh there is also an app on the iphone (of course there is!)  called i-pregnancy – this is a bit naff but it enables me to read out little snippets to my partner Tim when we are driving somewhere together to keep him involved and feeling apart of it all! it also has example photo’s at each week of development of what our Pim might look like!

I have, with my partner had a yoni massage which is a tantric practice and essentially massages the vagina internally to release any stress and tension held there.  I was made aware of this through some of the healing work I have done previously and believe it is a big component of freeing up our Yoni’s to be as relaxed as possible during birth.  I am practicing yoga on an almost daily basis, walking daily (well mostly!) and also doing some Qi gong – all through downloads off the internet and dvd’s as I live 45 minutes out of Brisbane and trying to get to classes can be a nightmare!

I took my friends’ advice and I have been gentle, eliminating where possible all unnecessary stress from my life – well I consider all of it unnecessary actually! I have had 2 doctors appointments and a flying visit to a dermatologist for an unsightly heat rash that plagued me after returning on a 30 hour flight from London.  Funnily enough – it was my emotional “stuff” that was causing that rash and once I looked at that – only then did the rash begin to heal – a huge lesson in how much your body speaks your mind….(another favourite book of mine by Debbie Shapiro and well worth a look!)

I have had one Kahuna massage with an awesome masseuse and am planning on having one once/month and I am also looking into colonic irrigation.  My diet has been pretty crazy which I guess is to be expected but I would like to get a handle on that.

I have spent as much time as possible in nature – walking on the beach, bush walks where possible and just sitting outside and breathing in fresh air… we are lucky enough to live on acreage so I even saw a wallaby and her joey hop through our yard today – beautifully healing!!!

I am trying to eat organic and although I am usually vegetarian I have added in some lean red meat to my diet as I have felt as if my body has been craving it.

I have had a kineaseology session and quite a few reconnective healing sessions to assist with my fear and issues with dealing with the impending changes that I have most definitely felt scared over – also the crazy changes in my body – my boobs are huge! And hugely sensitive! My tummy is bigger than I expected for 15 weeks but that could be just my vanity speaking !

Already speaking to people about not having scans and looking at the possibility of homebirthing has brought up a lot of fear… I have had comments like:

“ you live too far away from a hospital”, “its so much better to have all of the machines handy and ready if there are any complications” “but how will you know if something is wrong with the baby if you don’t get scanned?” “Homebirth is dangerous”

All valid points perhaps?! But ultimately its mine and my partners choice to make and I believe we are making an informed choice.  Ha ha and when I have mentioned “Orgasmic Birthing”…. Well lets just say mothers in general don’t believe its possible, my sister just wants to run and hide as soon as I mention the “O” word and well I think my mum is a little nervous that I want them to watch the DVD with me! Tee hee bless her – she wouldn’t say anything though and I know she will watch with an open mind…

So my trusty readers, its up to us to educate! Help me help others and also get there myself – any suggestions along my journey would be greatly appreciated! I have some ideas on how I am going to do this but as I am a novice it would be great to hear from others, who have already birthed orgasmically, who are in the process of learning as I am or who just have a suggestion!   I will be blogging at least once – twice per week – perhaps more – it’s a pretty juicy subject I reckon we will have lots to talk about! Till next time – practice those orgasms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 15 weeks pregnant today and this being my first pregnancy I have embarked on the somewhat intimidating journey of discovery about pregnancy and birth.  I have been lucky enough along the way to have had some amazing teachers already and this has prompted me to start this blog – to include all expecting mothers, mothers-to-be, partners, husbands, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, cousins, sisters, generally all mothers or potential mothers & parents to seek more from their birthing experiences – to ask the hard questions and to ultimately heal ourselves, our babies, our partners and our families through the wonderful experience that is birth!

I think my belly is quite big for 15 weeks!!! but that means Pim is growing healthy so all is well!

I have decided to embark on a quest for an orgasmic birth – I keep hearing its possible and last night I watched the DVD – www.orgasmicbirth.com I know it sounds corny but it has literally ROCKED my world – I hope it rocks yours too!

A little about my experience so far….. One Saturday evening, not so long ago, whilst visiting some friends, I found myself quite tipsy after a relatively small amount of wine and also rather disturbingly (and quite embarrassingly!) I appeared to be inhaling my half of our pizza, whilst lamenting with my girlfriend that my period STILL hadn’t turned up, it was about then that it dawned on me there was a very real possibility that I was pregnant!  After a quick count back on the calendar with my partner later that evening it was confirmed….. I was definitely late – but did that mean…….We weren’t to find out for sure at 11pm on a Saturday night and so settled in for a rather sleepless night.

A quick trip to the pharmacy on Sunday morning confirmed our growing suspicions that no I wasn’t just turning into a fatty boombah and a lightweight drinker, I was in fact 5 weeks pregnant!  I sat on the toilet in shock while my partner did a little victory dance ( I still swear to this day he manifested this little one, although that perplexes me somewhat as I believe I am as powerful at manifesting as he – so obviously whilst perhaps not consciously – this baby was definitely wanted subconsciously by both of us!) .  What to do next? Well I called my mum and my sister and requested they come by for lunch – the reaction was pretty much as I expected, Mum giving the thumbs up to my partner with a big grin whilst trying to be supportive of my total “in-shock” response to the whole situation!  My sister rang later that day to assure me that she would be the one who would be holding my baby shower and not to dream about letting anyone else do it! Not really what you want to hear whilst you are still trying to process it all!

I must admit there were a few tears on the toilet that morning and a few more when I broke the news to my loved ones, and still a few more since (ah the bliss of hormones!!!)

My second phone call that day (after my partner rang his parents of course!) was to a dear friend of mine who has seen me through some amazing transformations in my life – both as a healer and friend.  He is the only male doula I know of and to be honest I had no idea where to start – so my question to him was –” WHAT DO I DO????”

His advice was simple and to the point first and foremost be gentle, and before you do anything read this book: Gentle Birthing, Gentle Mothering by Dr. Sarah J Buckley.  Of course I went online straight away and so began my journey of discovery which leads me to today.

I had a fair idea I wanted to have a natural birth and reading Sarah’s book reinforced that I have made quite a few choices already including the decision ( at least at this stage) to not have any ultrasounds due to inconclusive testing around the effects on babies! Obviously I am not completely silly and if myself or my baby are at any risk I wouldn’t hesitate to have the ultrasound if it would ensure our safety but while I continue being low-risk I am running with this decision… there is so much more quality information in that book and on her website, both my partner and I just devoured it!

This then lead me to research  Orgasmic birthing – once again my trusty friend was called in and I have asked if he will be my coach through this.  This blog is intended to document my journey  – to share with you the steps that I take – the feelings I have, the resistance I encounter both internally and externally and the reactions of those around me – no doubt I will have some interesting comments and feedback to this blog – I say bring it on – if this helps women embrace their birthing experience and reclaim birth as a sacred ritual that should be treated with respect and honoured then I am willing to cop a little flak along the way!

Stay tuned…..

 Poucas coisas são tão reverenciadas quanto o nascimento de um ser humano. Não gosto de sangue e não pretendo assistir a um parto (nunca), mas que emociona, emociona. Entretanto, o encanto do nascimento foi quebrado ao saber da existência de livros, filme e um movimento chamado Orgasmic Birth,  no qual mulheres dizem ter orgasmos durante o parto.

Oras, orgasmo é para acontecer em outras situações e nunca bebês deveriam estar sequer perto desta frase.

Poderia ser apenas mais uma loucura inglesa (ou americana), mas esse grupo existe até mesmo no Brasil!

I do it just to get you mad. Enjoy!

Brought to you by the kind people at www.orgasmicbirth.com

Yes, that’s right… Orgasmic Birth.

Bear with me here people.

Some number of months ago, I stumbled across a news article discussing the possibility of having an orgasmic birth. Needless to say, (but I’ll say it anyway) I was intrigued.

It’s fascinating stuff, and if you’re planning on popping any kids out any time soon, or know someone who is.. I guess it’s worth a mention.

But I don’t know how I feel about it.

From the point of view of a mother giving birth, I think it would be fantastic to experience pleasure instead of pain…and it would make the whole “joy of birth” thing, even more joyful.

But now, from the point of view of the child… wouldn’t you be a little weirded out if you knew that your mom had an orgasm while shoving your little body through her birth canal? I would. I think.

See, it’s a tricky topic full of ambiguity… which is probably why I was so intrigued.

What are your thoughts? Both from the point of view of a child and a mother? I’d love to know.

Interview on Today Show!

I just finished reading their book “Your Best Birth”.  I really enjoyed it.  I truly believe there is a problem with the maternity health care model and for the AMA to say it is not safe for a home birth is absurd.

If you want to know more on how you can have your choices back when it comes to your birth, read their book as they state your birth is your business!  You can also go to Secrets of Painless Childbirth to get weekly tips to ensure you know your choices and how to have your wants satisified when it comes to planning your birth.

The more a midwife speaks to a mother and spends quality time with her, the more likely a mother is to open up and reveal more of her daily routines and habits that can affect her pregnancy and birth.  For example, the midwife will ask a mother the most basic yet critical questions like what is she eating and follow up with nutritional counseling, a topic in which the midwife owns expertise. She’ll ask her what is occurring in her life today, yesterday, expecting for tomorrow. A mother’s every day peace and stress contributes to her body’s sense of well-being and reaching the point where mother and her body believe it is time now to give birth safely and securely.

The psychology of labor is addressed during the med school L&D rotation by incorporating finding other resources for emotional and mental support.  Subsequently we have a number of practitioners in all fields lacking in bedside manner today, but in birth this aspect has an impact intangible to the practitioner but very real to the mother and her family.  The average obstetrical course of education includes fewer than three credit hours in understanding nutrition.  The focus on prenatal nutrition is only a small portion of the syllabus (do your homework choosing a careprovider!).  The home birth midwife also follows the mother into the immediate postpartum and continues home visits to see how mother and baby function as a unit.

It is the midwife who is better versed in delivering babies in various but normal birth situations.  A breech baby can be birthed safer in the hands of a midwife than a hospital attendant.  She has not let her skills fall behind because medico-legal liability has dictated a breech birth to be enough of a risk as to deem a cesarean to be the required course of action; therefore, she continues to hone both her observational and palpating skills.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), America’s leading organization promoting the benefits of clinical obstetrics in the sterile rooms of trained physicians, has found itself in a dilemma.  The technology and protocols ACOG promotes are the very ones that directly influence our birth statistics negatively.  The birth technology ACOG promotes to prevent or lower risks in birth for both mothers and their babies has not been proven to be beneficial, yet it is used profusely.  Birth in America rarely includes the intimacy of the act that culminated in procreation.  Images of an infant gently caught into its own mother’s arms are so rare that they cause the general public to question the safety of such an event. Debate for and against the licensing of midwifery – and the definition of midwifery itself – is gaining momentum, because statistics for hands off care of normal, natural childbirth are far better than those of managed birth.

In fact, Rebecca Watson of the New Mexico Department of Health has stated, “I sometimes wonder why [we bother compiling statistics on midwives], since their statistics are so much better than everyone else’s.”

While home birth is stereotyped as dangerous because of the lack of medical supervision, it is the lack of that technology and medicine that actually makes birth at home safer than birth in a hospital under today’s protocols.

Studies have shown that once a technology is introduced and mandated, it is difficult to remove it from care practice despite being proven unsafe or unnecessary.  For instance, although the rates involving an episiotomy (cutting the perineum to create a larger opening for the baby to pass through) have dropped drastically since 1980, it is still a common practice.  Ironically, episiotomy rates today are justified as integral to the higher use of vacuum-assisted deliveries or unfounded fears that a baby is stuck because it is a large baby or presenting in a less than optimal position, (posteriors, for example, where a baby faces away from the mother’s back during labor).

America is one of the few nations where birth is managed more with technology than with the hands and eyes of the care provider, but other countries will soon catch up. In a country that boasts technology superior to other developed nations and is not known for undernourishing its citizens, our mothers and babies are faring no better at birth than underdeveloped nations such as Croatia. No improvements have been made in the maternal mortality rate in America since 1982, and  America’s infant mortality rate in the past two decades also has not improved. Our birth technology has increased and the number of routine prenatal screening tests have multiplied since the early 1960s, but our maternal and fetal outcomes have gone progressively backward.

“Despite a significant improvement in the U.S. maternal mortality ratio since the early 1900s, it still represents a substantial and frustrating burden, particularly given the fact that – essentially – no progress has been made in most U.S. states since 1982. Additionally, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has stated that most cases are probably preventable.” states C.T. Lang in a 2008 obstetrics and gynecology report.  Further, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reported in 1983 that the maternal mortality rate in the U.S. was 8.0 for every 100,000 live births (Monthly Vital Statistics Report).  In 1993, the rate was 12.0/100,000 live births (CDC).

Among the causal deaths that could be prevented were those that involve both underlying health issues such as poor nutrition and high blood pressure (World Health Organization) as well as those that are physician-caused including infection and hemorrhage.  Bacterium can be introduced first by the mother arriving in an environment where diseases are being treated as well as from infiltrating the natural barriers we have against infection through vaginal exams and, of course, surgical delivery. In addition, there are higher incidences of hemorrhage from forced delivery of the placenta as when a care provider intentionally pulls on an umbilical cord to tear the placenta away from the uterine wall of the mother’s womb. In all instances, normal birth evidence training of the professional birth attendant is critical.

Injuries and deaths related to the physician’s care range from the off-label use of medicine such as Cytotec (also known as Misoprostol) for the inducing of labor as well as the sanctified use of surgical delivery, which gives us embolism, one of the leading causes of maternal mortality and a risk directly associated with cesareans.  Cesarean rates for delivery rose by 46 percent from 1995 to 2006.

Women around the world, the time to look again at the image of women birthing with women versus a medical obstetrical group in normal birth is now. WE can improve global maternal and newborn birth outcomes and experiences. WE know birth. WE know women’s hopes and fears.  A new generation of birth wisdom and experiences is here!

Wishing you a truly happy Mother’s Day secure in the knowledge of your body’s innate wisdom!

Learn more about the wisdom of utilizing your best resource: an Independent Childbirth member led birth education class like Dorene Vaughn’s All Natural Baby!

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