Very happy Sashimi added.

So yes, my long suffering fans… I have returned, perhaps 5 kilograms heavier than when I left, with an immeasurable desire for ostrich biltong, and a nice tan.

The holiday to South Africa rocked. We got to do some familial bonding time, and a fair amount of time got spent with the friends. Mr & Mrs B… many thanks for the awesome trip to Knysna and back… much obliged. Now come and visit us so we can return the favour. Wooz and SPF… it was great to be able to spend so much time with you guys… thanks for taking the leave and making it all possible. Chris and Lily and Megan… thanks for the accomodation and for letting us skank up your bathroom one week before your wedding.

So. This Blog has been built up by three weeks absence, and is bound to be a little longer than normal. As usual, if you want to skip the personal stuff, jump ahead to the line of asterisks at the end of this piece.

South Africa. Well well. It was an absolutely awesome trip. One of my favourite things to do in the whole world is to get a car that I like driving and then to take a long road trip. And the wife and I got to do just that with her family. The four of us piled into their car and drove off on what worked out to be an insanely expensive, but very enjoyable experience. And my god did we shop. Everything from Chutney to Cuckoo Clocks went into that car.

Let’s see, first stop was the Willows in Port Elizabeth. This was a classic little caravan/chalet place, and we got a two-bedroomed chalet for the four of us. Very comfortable, very clean and so close to the sea that even my youngest students could throw a stone into the water from the living room. We were there for two nights… and used the time soaking up some much-needed shopping. And thus began my fixation with finding the perfect pie on the holiday. See… the wife and I recently stopped being vegetarian and started eating seafood. Well… poultry has been added to the pile of edibles now… meaning that Chicken was back on the menu. (For the record, we still don’t eat mammals…. which means that yes, TURKEY is back on the menu for Christmas.) With chicken scratching at the doormat, I started in on Chicken Pies.

Woolworths to the rescue. AWESOME chicken and mushroom pie. Try it. Very good.

An aside – If it feels as if all the wife and I did on this holiday was sleep and eat, well… we feel that way too. It was a great holiday.

After PE, we drove on to Sedgefield…. chosen because it was nice and close to Knysna, which was where our friends Stompie and Jax were getting married. Yes… we did it all on this trip, weddings included. The place in Sedgefield was fantastic, the view was simply unbeatable.

Stompie and Jax threw themselves a Euro-funded Afro-ethnic wedding. And it was really a great evening. Good to be able to catch up with them again, as we hadn’t seen them since leaving Ireland. The wedding itself was out-standing and if their friends are anything to go by, they’ll be blessed in the future.

After the wedding it was a case of doing some family time in and around Knysna and George. We took in the sights of Hoekwil and Wilderness, the former very rustic, the latter full of sea spray.
Much seafood was eaten. Much chicken was eaten.

One of the highlights for the wife and I of the Sedgefield trip was a visit to the Wild Oats Farmer’s market… where local farmers sold their wares. (Mainly foodstuffs, but some raw produce too.) We got to soak up a little culture…

It was here that I found the undisputed BEST chicken pie in South Africa. The Steam Whistle Stop Pie company, operating out of god-knows where, but with a stand at the market.

After Sedgefield, there remained only the trip back to East London, which took much longer than expected. This is because of a little known family problem. Fact: If you place two women with disposable income in the back seat of a car, they will hatch plans to visit as many farm stalls as possible on the way back home. This is in a misguided effort to fill the car with very fattening farm foodstuffs and home produce. Thus, some 600 kilometres, 23 pieces of fudge, a half-dozen bottles of chutney, three full wheels of cheese, and 39 farm stalls later….. the entire Western Cape was denuded of produce, the car was groaning on its springs and we got home. To a huge dinner cooked by my sister in law.

The rest of the trip was spent with friends and family. I got to get in a fair amount of roleplaying with Wooz and the bunch, and even GMed a demo session for Jebb and his bunch. An obnoxiously large amount of time was spent virtually supine on Wooz’ patio drinking coffee… which is the perfect way to conduct oneself on holiday. Besides, the view from there isn’t half bad either.

Three weeks flew by with absolutely no regard for how much it cost us to get there, or indeed just how long 14 hours in economy class feels. (Particularly when you are bloated on fudge and chicken pies.)
There were tears, there were hugs and then we were gone.

To everyone who made the effort, thanks a hell of a lot guys, it was a vastly enjoyable experience.

************

And let’s get on with the jokes and stuff shall we?

The Truth About College:

SOCIOLOGY: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far and
away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of
sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never
once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists
want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time
translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code.
If you plan to major in sociology, you’ll have to learn to do the same
thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when they
fall down. You should write: “Methodological observation of the
sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that
a causal relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory
behavior forms.” If you can keep this up for 50 or 60 pages, you will get
a large government grant.

This weeks musical talent comes to you from the talented Ms. Nina Simone. This one is called Strange Fruit. And if it is depressing, well, it is meant to be. Give yourself a search for the lyrics. Sometimes, I am sad to be a human.

And that is that.. .. if there appears to be a lack of linkage in this blog, sorry… but 3 weeks without internet means that I didn’t find as many interesting things. Next time. K?

Ciao
Yeti out.

¡Bonitas piernas! ¿A que hora abren?

Este post es algo tramposo pues no se trata de alsun asunto o tema particular. Solamente encontre esta buena foto y quise compartirlas con ustedes.  ¿ A poco la zorrita de la foto tiene un par de piernotas capaz de provocar infartos? Sin embargo, a la que le debemos dar las gracias es a su amiga de rosita (que se ve que tambien esta potable), la cual, segun se ve, fue la que animo a su amiga carnosa a mostrar su fenomenal par de apendices. ¡Gracias por ser tan cooperativa, ojala hubiera mas mujeres como tu… la neta!

Melyssa Ford es una verdadera diosa, ante cuya sobrenatural presencia una no puede mas que caer de rodillas. Un verdadero monumento a la belleza y la cachonderia. Un arma letal que causa estragos en cuerpo, mente y alma de los hombres. Una sucubo de piel oscura capaz de dejarte seco en medio de una llameante inferno de los mas reconditos placeres. Un angel de eterea hermosura que te promete llevarte al mas perverso de los paraisos. Piel, carne, curvas, redondeces… todo lo tiene justo en su lugar.

De rodillas, tiranetas, adoren a esta deidad de fuego

Y aqui les va la biografia…

La carrera de Melyssa Ford y su belleza la han llevado rapidamente al reconocimiento no solo como una Hip Hop Honey sino como uno de los ultimos iconos Sex Symbol en la industria del entretenimiento.

Esta belleza llamada Melissa Ford ademas concurre a la Universidad York en Toronto y estudia Psicologia . Melyssa Ford eligio su camino educacional pensando en que un dia ella trabajaria para atender casos de ofensas sexuales e investigar reseñas criminales. Sin embargo, mientras todavia esta en Toronto, Melyssa Ford fue descubierta por el director Little X. Melyssa Ford luego recibio la oferta de poder protagonizar muchos videos musicales los cuales le han dado mucho reconocimiento en MTV y BET, convirtiendose en una de las Hip Hop Honeys mas reconocidas.

 Debido a sus grandes exposiciones, Melyssa Ford comenzo a tener muchas ofertas de conocidas revistas como XXL Magazine. Melyssa Ford hizo una participacion en XXL y esta le dio la oportunidad de conducir un show de su website,’ Lifestyles of the Phat and the Phabulous’, bajo la produccion del Vice-Presidente de Bad Boy Entertainment. Esta fue una gran oportunidad para Melyssa Ford asi que ella dejo la escuela y se fue hacia New York con un par de valijas y $25 para conducir el show.

Melyssa Ford fue pronto reconocida como una de las mas importantes de la y tuvo otro gran impulso en su carrera como Modelo y Hip Hop Honey cuando la revista Black Men’s Magazine cuando la eligio en 2001 para el numero de trajes de baño. La sesion de fotos salio tan bien que la revista le dio a Melyssa Ford la tapa. Melyssa Ford posteriormente aparecio en la tapa de Black Men’s Magazine tres veces mas lo cual la puso en la categoria de ‘la chica de tapa mas popular’ para la revista. Melyssa Ford tambien aparecio en la portada de 2002 del calendario Ebony Rider el cual puso sus ventas por el cielo sobrepasando en un año la cantidad de ventas de 5 años juntos.

 Smooth Magazine quizo que Melyssa Ford apareciera como una modelo pero pronto la incorporaron para escribir un una columna mensual de consejos luego de conocer sus estudios de Literatura Inglesa transformandose asi en la estrella de la casa.

La carrera de Melyssa Ford ha tenido muchos logros incluyendo su propio calendario y DVD, los cuales siguen teniendo muchas ventas.

Fuente: www.doggshiphop.com

¿Que opinaria tu novia de Melysaa?

“¡Naaaa! No se que tanto le ven, ni esta tan buena (yo estoy mejor)”

Oye… ¿si te esta circulando la sangre?

Aunque la cantante Jojo no ha dado de que hablar unicamente, aqui no la olvidamos y no tenemos mejor manera de recordarla que mirando esta fotillo donde nos muestra su esplendido fisico, coronado por ese suculento trasero; todo empacado en un vestido verde que mas bien parece que se lo pintaron encima, de tan untado que esta.Entre las mujeres no importa que no puedan ni respirar con esa ropa tan entallada, lo que importa en enseñar que tan buenas estan y humillar a las otras. Pero… ¡que chigados! sigan asi, nos vale verga lo que tengan que sufrir, mientras nos provoquen majestuosas erecciones ¿a poco no?

Rihanna se ha convertido en una de las morenitas mas deseadas de la farandula, desde que aparecio moviendo ese apetecible traserito que tan bien sacude. Convirtiendose en la competencia directa de Beyonce, ha cosechado bastante exito en el mundo del pop, en el cual, pese al despecho de las rubias, las afroamericanas se estan posicionando en las nuevas mandamas de la industria. Pero basta de palabreria, vayamos a lo que a todos nos interesa. Y lo que mas nos interesa de la bella Rihanna es su fisico y por eso todos vamos a disfrutar las imagenes en las que la morenita se le ocurrio ponerse una ¿vestido? practicamente inexistente, del cual sus suculentas tetas color chocolate pareciann escaparsele en todo instante. Bien, muy bien mamacita, a todos nos gusto tu modelito y esperamos que se haga muy popular… la neta!!!

November 19, 2009 A MAN used the Internet to lure six college students into having a sex party with his friends at a resort in Bentong, Pahang.

According to Harian Metro, police found that the man had also been organising sex parties with students in Kuala Lumpur, Malacca, Negri Sembilan and Selangor for the past year.

The man was detained along with five others aged between 20 and 22 after authorities conducted a 3am raid on the apartment he had rented.

It is believed that the man, together with his friends — two of whom were civil servants — had persuaded the students to have sex while under the influence of alcohol.

The students, all aged 19, were willing participants in the party.

Three couples held at the scene were tested positive for the drug ketamine and had 2.3g of the same substance with them.

Danielle’s skin glowed an eerie blue-white, the natural appearance of her pale, almost-white complexion under black light. She intentionally heightened the effect with white-ish makeup and powders that would look pretty garish in the light of day. Her “New Wave” style eye shadow swept back from her eyes and glowed bright blue with her similarly colored lips below the brilliant yellow-gold of fluorescing platinum blond hair. The look was almost two decades retro, but on her it worked. To compliment the overall effect, this evening she wore the zebra-striped leather halter-top that exposed her trim midriff – no bra – and a tight matching mini that came down to her upper thigh.  A lucky guy might occasionally catch a glimpse of the white lace panties barely hidden by the skirt. Black and white lace up sandal-pumps covered her feet – the cris-crossing leather bands winding up her calves – continuing the zebra-stripe look down to her toes. The smooth, cool leather of her skimpy outfit felt great against her skin as she and her friends wound their way across the crowded floor to the center of the main dance area.

Danielle’s group was familiar with the local rave scene and geography. They’d been to more than they could remember, but this was definitely a new place for them, recommended by a friend of a friend. This party moved from week to week between buildings in the old warehouse district, a dead part of the port city near the defunct piers. The place was hard to find; the sounds and lights were muted and well contained until you were almost upon it. You either needed to hit it by accident, be directly involved, or be invited. Danielle’s friend Riku had secured such an invitation for herself and her girlfriends, but was close-lipped about from where or whom it came.

No rave series was ever overly publicized or long-lived, but each “production company” has its own mythology. This particular one had a reputation for safety, recreational drugs, and other decadences. Events generally cost dearly to get in, but ran almost until dawn, when Danielle and her friends would drive blearily home. Occasionally they’d lose one or two members of their group along the way, only to encounter them at school the next Monday to be regaled with a sometimes-explicit tale of adventure, usually with some hunk-of-the-week.

Tonight was Julia’s night to drive so as per usual she promised to stop drinking by midnight. When the four girls arrived, paid (30 bucks!), got stamped, and entered the unassuming warehouse, a wall of sound and light greeted the little group. The cavernous interior was decked out in lights and speakers, which would be removed quickly in the morning leaving little trace of party. Lots of production companies were rumored to have “agreements” with members of local law enforcement, allowing greater freedoms than otherwise might be expected.

A makeshift cash bar lined one wall, with all manners of potables available. Off to the side, another, smaller “bar” offered some of the more controlled substances – Ecstasy, pot, poppers, strange designer drugs – though none of the heavy stuff, which supposedly said something reassuring about both the organizers and the clientele. This area had a number of heavyset bouncer-types, probably moonlighting dockworkers from the surviving parts of the port. They looked like they would take poorly to belligerence or other acting up on the part of the patrons. More of the big fellows guarded a couple doors off the main dance floor. People going that way had to present some kind of card or ID to get past them.

Danielle and her friends had anticipated the availability of some substances at the rave, but not the veritable apothecary they were presented with. Emma always believed in playing it safe, however, and had procured some Ecstasy for them from her older brother’s buddies before they left. By the way the lights jumped about as they started dancing, Danielle suspected that their Ex must have had an extra kicker of something in it, but she didn’t worry too much – she felt happy and reasonably in control. Emma’s brother was wild (and kind of cute), but not crazy.

Danielle danced with her friends and with strangers. The warehouse was big, loud, and crowded with several hundred bodies, so it did not take long for the little group to disband and lose track of one another. This usually happened – they would eventually find each other again. Danielle paid little attention. She changed partners often, checking out the guys as unabashedly as they stared at her. Some she danced with, some she teased a little. Some she talked to, or rather yelled over the music to, and let buy her drinks. Danielle avoided the alcohol, but did need the occasional liquid refreshment, and, eventually a trip to the restroom.

The restrooms were a series of porta-johns hidden from the main dance area by a partially retracted floor-to-ceiling partition. A bare sink stood against the warehouse’s cinderblock wall for washing, with a once-polished steel plate above it for a mirror. As Danielle cleaned up she noticed a door off to the side, facing away from the main dancing area. It was slightly ajar and she could see pulsing light, coming though it. She went over to investigate and found, after passing down a short darkened corridor there was indeed another dance floor. Danielle realized it must be one of the ‘restricted’ areas, and decided to return to the main part of the warehouse, lest she get into trouble. Doubling back, she found that the door she had come through had fallen closed and locked. Probably supposed to have been shut the whole time, she thought.

Cursing to herself, Danielle resolved to make the best of it. She could probably get away with just acting like she belonged there. Stepping boldly out from the hallway, she was again enveloped by sound and light. This music had a grinding techno-industrial sound with base boosted so high she could feel the reverberations in her chest and abdomen. The music seemed to physically grab her, and Danielle almost couldn’t help but get caught in the beat and start dancing.

Though slightly smaller in area, the floor of this section of the warehouse was just as crowded with gyrating bodies as the main section. The mix here was different, however – most in the room were male. The women scattered throughout were generally the centers of attention and dancing activity, switching partners often, or dancing in close groups. Danielle herself quickly attracted a small band of partners, and soon forgot about everything for a while as she danced among them. Their attention pleased her, and she found herself putting on a bit of a show, flirting with several guys at once.

The lighting here showed off Danielle’s body and outfit perfectly. The primary illumination was black light and garishly reflecting fluorescent paint. Bright strobes would flash at odd times with the booming music, changing the fluid motion of the dancing mob into jerky, unreal movie motion.

Danielle moved to the evolving beats further into the area, carried by the current of weaving bodies. She returned quite a few appreciative stares with looks of her own. She added more sway to her hips and adopted more sultry stylings to her movements as she brushed into another circle ogling young men. After some time circulating, she caught the glance of an attractive guy maybe a few years older than herself. They kept eye contact as they maneuvered toward one another, magnetically drawn by well-matched rhythms and styles. His flaring Day-Glo tie-dye shirt and shorts showed a stark contrast in dress to her sleek, animal theme, but that seemed appropriate to her.

They converged and started dancing close. Danielle felt a warm congeniality to the fellows around her, but a special connection to this new partner. She lost her sense of time as the music flowed through a number of well-blended tracks. She and her starburst-dressed partner moved closer, gyrating, touching, twirling, holding and releasing. Danielle felt herself getting quite turned on. This turn of events was not too out of the ordinary for her, she’d left her share of raves early on the arm of a new guy (and would never forget the time in that barn hayloft), but this felt a bit different, a little more primitive or base. Perhaps it was the guy – his strong hands often ‘accidentally’ brushed her breasts or thighs. Perhaps it is the small crowd of guys dancing around them, watching them. Perhaps it was something else.

After not too much thought, Danielle decided she didn’t care, and went with it. She moved in to her partner and snaked her arms around his waist and back. He reciprocated; one arm coming around her shoulders, the other cupping and rubbing her ass through her skirt. She sighed and pressed into his hard body, peeking out over his shoulder as they turned and moved.

Across the floor Danielle’s gaze passed over several other girls, each the center of attention of their own groups. First she saw a brunette in black leather halter and hotpants bumped and ground with two or three guys in the center of a larger circle. But then different and strange scenes caught her eyes…

Beyond the brunette, she made out a blazing redhead undulating in front of one partner – her back to his chest, and her butt pushed back and rubbing against his hips. As Danielle watched, the guy behind the redhead brought his hands up from her waist, raised her tight white T-shirt, and exposed her bra-less tits, which he immediately cupped and started fondling. As Danielle stared, a hand emerged from the surrounding bodies and traced up her right leg, disappearing under her glowing plaid miniskirt –

Bodies blocked the scene, and after trying to peer through them, Danielle’ gaze moved on to a thin Asian girl with short, razor straight jet-black hair. She was in a kind of line dance with two guys. Her hands were low, her partners’ high. It seemed like she was groping or fondling the crotches of the partners in front and back. Danielle couldn’t be sure, but she though that one of them actually had his dick exposed, and the girl was gripping and pulling it with one of her hands while rubbing the other guy through his pants –

Danielle’s partner whirled her around almost 180 degrees and after a dizzy second or two her eyes settled on yet another curvy girl, barely visible through a mass of bodies. Danielle caught the glint of sweat off her dark skin. The girl seemed nude, on hands and knees on some kind of elevated platform. More people drifted out of the way and Danielle gasped as she made out the rest – The girl _was_ naked! And she was giving a blowjob to a skinny white guy in front of her while a broad-shouldered black man was clearly screwing her from behind!

Danielle’s eyes widened in shock at each progressive scene, but then she was distracted by a strange touch on her thigh. She had not noticed it with all the bumping and holding, but now she realized her skirt had been gradually raised, exposing her panties, which glowed bright in the black light. With a flush of embarrassment she pulled her skirt hem down and straightened herself out. As she moved someone from behind grabbed her panties and easily popped the thin string that held them to her hips, quickly ripping them off as she drew her skirt back down. The snap of the panty strings went unnoticed, lost in her other movements and the general distraction of the musical cacophony. Danielle’s slightly misfiring senses failed to warn of her missing protective layer. Though she didn’t particularly sense the absence of the flimsy cloth, she did suddenly feel oddly more exposed – despite the fact she’d just covered herself up. Perhaps it was a reaction to the boldness exhibited by a stranger exposing her like that. It was a little disconcerting, but, mixed with what she’d just seen, also had the effect of turning her on still more.

Her tie-dye partner still held her waist, dancing as if nothing at all had happened. Danielle began to feel a little overwhelmed, even for her. The driving music and lights played with her buzzed senses, starting to confuse her. She needed to pause, collect herself, and regain control that might be slipping. Reluctantly, she pulled away from her partner, who had begun brushing his hands up her sides and breasts in a most delicious way, and began to weave her way toward the one visible exit. On her way, though, she tripped over a loose sneaker on the floor and almost stumbled into another guy. He was tall and muscular, wearing tight white biker shorts and no shirt. He spun inward, grabbed Danielle by the waist, whirled them both around, and then began to dance. Danielle, momentarily overcome by dizziness, held onto his taut body for support. Soon though, the feel of him and the ever-present, penetrating music distracted her once again and she grooved.

They danced dirty, grinding up against each other, and Danielle smiled as the bulge in her partner’s tight shorts grew noticeably larger. Her own inner heat was increasing as well, though she paid it little mind. The tingles she felt as her skin rubbed against its leather confines blended with the vibrating air. When his leg ground between hers, it almost felt as if the Lycra shorts rubbed right up against her pussy…

Danielle let her gaze drift again, scanning over the crowd seeking the sights she had seen before. She couldn’t find that first brunette, but she did see the redhead. A nude man now held her upside-down, her hair trailing almost to the floor. Her shirt was off and her plaid skirt was bundled around her waist. The pair stood locked in a sort of standing 69; her dangling head bobbed back and forth, sucking on the cock the owner of which held her exposed muff to his mouth. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she repeatedly swallowed his tool. His arms held her middle as he plied her slit with his tongue. He still danced, thrusting into her mouth as he moved, her legs flailing and kicking around his head.

Danielle almost couldn’t take her eyes off the scene, and when she finally looked away, her gaze immediately found a tall black girl she hadn’t seen before. The dark beauty leaned against a wall of the room, silhouetted against a glowing graffiti design, doing a standing split. Her left leg stretched straight up and back against the wall as a beefy jock fucked her standing up.

Danielle found the platform she’d seen before. The Asian waif – and the brunette she had first seen were now both unclothed, kissing and fondling each other’s breasts on the raised stand – really a table with a heap of packing blankets on top. The brunette was on her back, being fucked by a guy missionary style, the Asian was on all fours over her, being poled from behind doggy-style by a mustachioed man wearing the top half of a tuxedo, complete with top-hat, but without pants. When her head came up, eyes clenched shut and mouth open in unmistakable passion; Danielle realized with a shock that it was her friend Riku!

Danielle didn’t know what was going on, or what to think or do at this point. And she didn’t get much further chance to think about anything, either. Her dance partner, who had let her go for a moment while she stared at her friend’s orgiastic scene, now firmly grabbed her waist again.

She turned to look back at him and gasped. His tight pants were now off. He moved toward her with the music, nude but for his shoes, sporting a large, upward curving erection. Before she could protest, He lifted her easily from the floor, pulling her up and over to him. Momentarily shocked into immobility, she could only stare wide-eyed at him as he lowered her, sliding her bare stomach down his smooth, sweaty chest. She felt the hard cock brush against her inner thighs, under her mini. The hot meat slid up between her legs… just into her wet slit. Danielle startled and blinked as she felt the heat and smoothness at her pussy entrance, realizing finally that somehow her panties were gone. She grabbed and pushed at the shoulders of her partner and started kicking her legs, but he wasn’t paying attention. Fraction by fraction, in time to the beat of the music, he slowly lowered her on to him. His cock rose centimeter by centimeter into her tight, ready cunt.

Alarm fighting arousal, Danielle’s rational mind warred with the natural and artificial stimulants in her system. It shouldn’t be happening, but… it felt sooo good! Her eyes lost focus and her attention turned inward as she felt herself flower open and sink down around the hard pole. Her mind churned in turmoil and her head shook in refusal, but her body reacted on its own. Her legs gradually spread apart. As her feet touched the ground again, she found herself dancing to the rhythm, humping against the fully embedded cock.

Her anxiety faded, or rather was drowned out, as Danielle lost herself in sensation. Her miniskirt hid her privates, if just barely, and one would have to look from the right angle to see that the guy in front of her had his cock buried in her to the balls. The fact he stood there, naked with bent knees in front of her was pretty much a giveaway, though. Danielle surprised herself with how little she seemed to care now. The throbbing of the cock inside her seemed like a natural extension of the music, penetrating her just as deeply and insistently. Her partner’s thick pubic hair tickled her clit as they ground together, exciting her even more. Danielle knew she was the center of some considerable attention, but nevertheless felt strangely anonymous. The crowd around her didn’t see her; they saw a glowing zebra-girl straddling a nearly naked hunk. She couldn’t help but giggle at the thought, then gasped as the cock twitched and bored into her again. She looked into her sudden-lover’s eyes, and the unbridled lust in them melted her. Her moan was swallowed by the waves of sound crashing around them and she writhed against and around him, her inner muscles clutching his member in a spine-tingling rush. The strobes flashed and she closed her eyes.

Some immeasurable time later, Danielle felt herself nearing climax. By now she was holding tight to her partner, and whatever dancing they were doing took second seat to out-and-out stand-up fucking. Taking deeper and deeper breaths, she opened her eyes and looked, dazed, over her partner’s shoulder, catching sight of the black girl, still in the splits, being fucked earnestly. Two new guys had appeared and were each devouring a dark breast.

Then, Danielle she felt her partner lifting her skirt, uncovering her behind while still dancing and rocking his cock into her. She dug her nails into his shoulders. She was on the edge, small mewing sounds escaping her throat with every breath, the telltale lightness in her belly presaging her most intense of orgasms. She felt him grasp and spread her asscheeks, and then gasped as a wet finger poked into her rear end. Danielle jumped and cried out, but had nowhere to go as the finger slid slowly in, past her squeezing anal muscles. The finger worked her as she squirmed and whined in the grip of her partner. The new, unwelcome touch staved off her approaching climax, though the churning in her belly only increased with this dirtiest of erotic sensations. After a probing that pulled at and stretched her resisting sphincter, the finger departed. A second later, however, a thin, long, wet cock replaced it. It prodded her asshole once, then pushed, beat by beat into her spread rear.

Danielle had had her share of sex in her young life, but she’d never taken anything up the ass. She screamed. The breaking glass, car wreck music completely drowned her out, however. Slowly, agonizingly, the cock stuffed her rear passage full. Her flailing arms couldn’t find purchase on her partners’ sweaty skin; her legs and knees were forced to bend with the dancing beat as the two cocks burrowed deeper into her. Hands snaked around from behind to grab her tits and pinch her hard nipples through her leather top. Then, the hot stomach of the unseen guy behind her pressed into her ass and lower back, sandwiching her body tight between the two males. Two hard cocks throbbed and twitched in her body, one deep in her pussy, one just as far in her virgin ass. She realized she had taken all of both of them inside her. With her nerves too overtaxed to distinguish between pain and pleasure, her inner muscles spasmed erratically. Finally, the delayed explosion took her and she came.

The orgasm that shook her was like nothing she had ever experienced. It was wracking, almost violent. She felt simultaneously invincible and helpless. She recoiled at being taken so completely against her will, at the same time utterly surrendering to the feelings of the moment. She quaked in fear, and flowed with languid sensuality. She felt full. So full! Her inner muscles contracted frantically around the two cocks over and over again as she cried out into the noise of the dance floor. Each convulsion drew her deeper into a fugue of total climax, lifting her and drawing her down until she could no longer distinguish herself from the sound from the sensations…

Danielle slowly floated down from her ecstatic fog. Her ears buzzed with more than the blaring music around her. In the afterglow, her head cleared somewhat, and her senses returned to her bit by bit. Her earlier buried anxieties flooded back with a vengeance. She felt movement around her – and inside her! – and a new wave of fear hit her. She started protesting and pushing against the guys pressed in against her. Pushing away from the one in front meant pressing back onto the guy now fucking quickly in and out of her ass, and attempts to escape the rear assault only ground her against the cock sawing in and out of her pussy. Neither of them was going to be stopped now. As high as she’d been only moments before, now a wave of lust- and drug-magnified horror now threatened to consume her.

Suddenly, the guy in front of her tensed and with a hard jerk shoved deeply into her pussy and came. For a second she stared wildly into his animal-slitted eyes, then Danielle howled despondently as she felt the cock throb and pump its hot flood of semen into her. Thoughts shot through her mind in time to jetting cock: The unusual aftertaste of the Ecstasy pill… The look in his eyes as he had lowered her onto his cock… The “emergency condoms” in Julia’s glove compartment… The orgiastic scenes starring other girls, one of them a friend of hers… The feeling of her ass being entered for the first time… Her cycle calendar… When was she due next?

She felt him relax, finally allowing Danielle to weakly shove him away. He slid wetly out of her, followed by an outpouring of spunk from her streaming down her legs. The reaction pushed her back into the guy doing her rear. The unseen man behind her had her top pushed up over her breasts now and was squeezing and pinching them, using them for leverage as he drove relentlessly up her butt while he nuzzled her neck with his mouth and nose. She thought her ass should be screaming in pain, but it wasn’t. It was uncomfortable… No, that wasn’t it either. It was very strange though. She couldn’t think that it actually felt good, could she?

Danielle tried to pull away, but then felt new, strong hands on her thighs pulling them further open from below. They forced her to bow her legs, simultaneously making her ass more accessible and spreading open her cum-dripping pussy. A male face appeared below her between her legs as the hands pushed the rest of her skirt above her waist, exposing her glowing blonde pubic hair and creamy cunt. His grip changed, allowing him to hang from her now widely spread thighs. The new weight pulled her down and opened her up still more as he raised his face up to her pussy and started madly licking and slurping away at her. The guy in her rear picked up his pace, thrusting harder and faster, forcing grunts from her each time his body slapped up against her buttocks.

Danielle grabbed and pulled the hair of her fellatist, but he didn’t budge. Despite everything, it felt incredible. The guy below her had a very talented tongue, and the shaft pounding in and out of her ass had, at some uncertain point, begun to feel good, then very good, even if disgustingly perverse. The palpable force of the music drove the little knot of three bodies on. The guy eating Danielle didn’t seem to care one bit about the copious spunk leaking out of her. And his agile tongue felt a kilometer long inside her. Her hips started swaying and grinding again as he alternately teased her clit and fucked her pussy with his prehensile tongue. She moaned and felt herself falling into the sex again, despite a now deep-seated sense that something was very wrong.

Without warning, the guy in her ass plowed all the way into her and came, shoving her suddenly forward onto that long tongue. Danielle climaxed again almost in surprise as she felt hot spunk shoot up into her guts. Her second cum was milder than the first fireworks, but she still throbbed and shivered as it took her. Almost as soon as he was finished, her ass-deflowerer popped is deflating cock out of her and disappeared. She’d never know who it was who took her anal cherry. She didn’t have time to dwell on that or take any other stock, though since with his sudden departure, she lost her balance and staggered backwards, half tripping over the guy tonguing her as she slipped from the grip of his hands and lips.

A devastatingly handsome black man caught her fall. Without preamble, he kissed her deeply while gently lowering her to a sitting position on an old padded office divider or room partition, which was propped up at an angle to the floor. Still locked with her lips, he moved around and over her, sliding his hands down her breasts, sides and legs. He wrapped his large hands around her ankles and spread her legs apart, bending her knees, then moved towards her and sank his ebony shaft slowly and completely into her without once breaking the kiss. As his thick cock filled her and his hands bent and parted her legs, he pressed his kiss forward, forcing her to lie back on the reclined partition. Danielle’s eyes flashed open and then dimmed. A blur of confused thoughts raced through her mind: a faint, earnest inner voice telling her to run…pajama party stories about black boys…where were her friends?…the girl in her class that had a baby last year…Oh God!…the big dick moving into and into and into her…

The urge to struggle free died as the fat cock slid fully home in her pussy. She flexed her hips and spread herself wider for him. Her new dark lover began to fuck her, sliding his tool almost completely out with one beat, and all the way in with the next. The dance rhythm was now loud and deep – like thunder, or a giant heartbeat. The sound and the fucking were both slow and powerful. After a while, he broke their kiss and looked down at her. Close-cropped hair glowed green from a dye job over a face so black she could see it only by the background it blocked out. The glowing whites of his eyes and Cheshire-cat-grinning teeth filled the dark shape of his head.  Then that disappeared too as he lowered his face to suck and tease her nipples, first one, then the other, then back to the first. Danielle arched her back and let her head sink as her hips moved by themselves to meet his pumping cock. He was uncircumcised, she realized. His foreskin moved with a different sliding sensation inside her. The strange new feelings made her shiver. She no longer cared where she was, as long as whatever was happening to her didn’t stop.

A fleshy shaft brushed her cheek from above and behind. The partition she was lying on ended at her neck, and her head had been dangling over the edge, lolling back and forth to her lover’s rhythm. Bent back as she was, she was at the perfect height and angle. Danielle shook her head and turned away wanting to stay focused on the feelings in her breasts and pussy, but the cock’s owner grabbed her hair and yanked, filling her mouth with more hard meat as she opened it in protest. Her hands moved to his abdomen to push him away, but he just grabbed her wrists and held them to his hips.

The two men screwed Danielle from both ends. The cock in her pussy was fat and long, stretching and rubbing her sensitive flesh into yet another frenzy of lust. The guy in her mouth was not too large, and she decided that getting him off quickly might be the best thing, so she began to suck him with some enthusiasm as the attention being paid her pussy and tits forced muffled moans from her. From her inverted position, she could watch a pair of hairy balls approaching and receding in time to the sliding of the penis in her mouth. Beyond them, through his legs, she spied a heavy-breasted blond taking five guys at once – one in each of her openings and one in each hand. Two more guys sucked at her tits like starving babies. Danielle stared at the sight as the gentle breast-licking of her dark lover was joined by coarser gropes, pinches, and caresses from the guy in her mouth. Finally she felt but could not see the black stiffen, swell inside her and cum. She shuddered as she felt more jism shoot deep into her. For a few seconds, as his cock throbbed and sperm jetted, she felt as utterly defenseless and vulnerable as she truly was. The pulsing heat filling her snatch triggered her third orgasm. A sharp twinge of barely suppressed fear rode hot just underneath her climax as her body milked the surging cock of its last drops. Her body shook and jerked as she crossed her own peak, and she sucked hard on the cock in her mouth, willing it to come, too.

Her black lover withdrew, unseen, from her still-clutching pussy only to be replaced immediately by another. This prick was fat but short, dragging and rasping her clit with each thrust. Four hands now manipulated her breasts, the rougher handling eliciting gasps and grunts from her stuffed mouth. The guy fucking her face finally couldn’t hold it anymore and spurted, shoving fully down her throat as he did. This took Danielle by surprise, and she swallowed out of survival instinct, gagging and coughing as he pulled out and vanished into the crowd. Danielle snapped her head up to see who was inside her now. It was a chubby jock she actually recognized from school, though she couldn’t remember his name. His eyes were closed, concentrating on his fucking. The big lug rutted for a minute with Danielle passive under him. He quickly came inside her and left, never once looking her in the face.

In a momentary lull, Danielle sat up and looked around, trying to clear the cobwebs from her mind. Everyone in the room was now either naked or nearly so, and everywhere she turned, she witnessed new orgiastic scenes of debauchery. She caught a glimpse of the first girl she had seen – the brunette. The garish lighting reflected wetly off her sweat- and cum-covered body as she straddled an unseen guy. The girl had a vacant look in her eyes, mouth open, crying out, body shaking in orgasm, stomach muscles tightening with each spasm. Danielle’s own hand drifted unconsciously to her soaked bush and cum-leaking pussy, gently massaging her puffy, almost-sore labia. She marveled with strange detachment at the quantity of spunk slowly trickling out of her. Her stomach fluttered and she shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that right now. It was time to leave, clear her head, and figure out what had happened.

Hands grabbed her waist from behind and pulled her up the partition till her ass hung over the edge. A cock pushed up into her pussy from behind – thin but very long. This one touched and tickled the very end of her passage as it pushed all the way in. A hand snaked around her waist and hip to quickly frig her slit and clit, ignoring her own hands as they tried to pull it away from her. The abrupt actions tore her from her quiet musings. The sensations were sharp, mechanical, impersonal, and almost too rough, but they were at the same time insistent, expert, and in the end, utterly effective. Danielle’s resolve to leave weakened as her hips began to buck, and her trepidation rose again and then faded as the overpowering sexual buzz returned to claim her. In a few short minutes, Danielle came abruptly from the manipulation, whining and gulping air as her hands gripped the edge of the partition.

She then felt herself pulled further back so that only her calves rested on the partition, the long cock still buried in her shuddering pussy. Hands reached up from under her and parted her legs as a studly, gorgeous guy stood up in between them. She recognized him. It was her tie-dye partner! – The one she had seemed to connect with earlier. He was nearly naked now, clad only in sneakers and tight underwear – also blazingly tie-dyed. His balls and fully erect cock poked through the underwear’s crotch-hole, pointing at her, a bright yellow and green explosion pattern framing the turgid shaft. The two guys took hold of her by her waist and under her arms. The unseen one behind her pulled out of her cunt and sat down on something behind him – some ledge or high chair. The pair then lowered Danielle back onto his rod, the blunt head nuzzling into and then penetrating her ass as they pulled her down onto it. She gasped for breath, but put up no resistance, staring deeply, lustily into her reclaimed partner’s eyes. She felt like part of the music, like part of the dance floor, like part of the two men. Like the sound, she was going to surround and envelop them. It suddenly seemed only right.

They settled her ass fully onto the one cock, until she was mostly sitting on the guy’s lap. This one was much deeper in her than the first cock in her rear had been. It was momentarily uncomfortable, but she accommodated more rapidly than she would have believed. The guy in front took his cock in one fist, aimed it at Danielle’s spread, open pussy, and drove forward. She gasped as it went in and in and in. It was the biggest thing she had taken inside her so far. It filled her completely – squeezing out her own juices and those that had been deposited in her by others, until it bumped into the end of her passage with a thump she thought she could hear. Danielle’s mind finally shut down, banishing the echoes of alarm and anxiety to a vanishing corner. Her body went completely limp, and she gave herself totally to the sensation. A combination of lifting, sinking, rolling movements ensued, filling and emptying her entire body. The two cocks plowed in and out of her – sometimes one out while the other in, sometimes both filling her together making her wince. Air was forced out of her lungs when both their bodies slapped up against hers. Her rippling inner muscles worked automatically, squeezing the intruders, adding to her own pleasure.

The guy in her ass came in a few grinding minutes, and Danielle moaned softly as the increasingly familiar liquid feeling spread up her gut. After another minute, her tie-dye stud pulled her up off that deflating cock and more fully onto his own. Now she held onto him for dear life. He cupped her buttocks in his strong hands and danced away from their location, pumping her up and down on his pole as he moved across the floor. Danielle locked her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms around his upper back. Sometimes he pushed Danielle’s body up and let gravity drag her hungry pussy back down onto him, sometimes he changed his grip and literally picked her up and shoved her down on his cock. Each time the he bottomed out inside her, she let out a little yelp. She nuzzled into his bare, smooth chest as if to hide, the fucking overwhelming her once again. She rose again and started cumming with continuous spastic contractions – her cunt constricting around his shaft over and over as she sank down on it again and again. This time she couldn’t seem to stop – her orgasm only continued and intensified. Danielle sank deeper onto the raging cock as she milked it, cumming and cumming with the music, with the dance, with all the boys… The penis felt like it was spearing up into her stomach, her throat… She felt him swell and explode against the entrance to her womb and still she came. The strobe lights kicked on and everything dissolved into flashes. His grip on her loosened and she fell back away from him into a lightning storm…

Danielle’s awareness surfaced sporadically from then on…

…Tongues licked all over her – up her twat, her ass, on her breasts, in her mouth…

…A thin cock slid down her throat while the rigid pole she sat on geysered up her ass…

…Fucked in front and back again, lying back on the one in her ass (the same one?) while staring up at the grinning Indian boy sliding in and out her pussy…

…Lying on blankets or clothes, the taste of a cum-drenched pussy at her lips and female hands and mouth on her pussy and clit while another rod fucked her…

…On hands and knees, two cocks slamming back and forth in her mouth and pussy. One in, the other out, feeling like they were connected completely through her. Back and forth until the both shoved all the way in and filled her belly with white froth…

…Every second was a blue-white haze, a driving beat, and an interminable cum. Fuck by fuck, throb by throb, the universe swirled and faded into a black-light buzz…

***

Danielle woke up sore and alone in a corner of the quiet warehouse. It was a bright, late morning. An old coat had been draped over her where she lay on the pile of packing blankets. She looked around. There was no sign remaining that there had ever been a rave in this place, everything was taken down. The warehouse looked as derelict as it ever had.

Danielle assessed her situation. Under the coat, she found her clothing was still disheveled and pushed back to expose everything. Her panties were missing and, she presumed, unrecoverable. Her raw pussy and ass were coated with and still flowing with the spunk of untold boys. She tasted it on her lips. Though sweat- and cum-soaked, her outfit was at least still complete and reasonably serviceable. Upon looking around, she found the place nearly deserted. A few individuals were sacked out in various corners, none of them the friends she came with. She presumed they’d left without her.

Danielle collected herself, arranged her clothes as best she could and walked gingerly, a bit bowlegged, towards the one remaining porta-john. Her pussy and ass felt sore, yet liquid, and she felt various fluids ooze slowly out of her and down her thighs as she walked. Thank goodness the lavatory was still relatively clean inside. It took her a while to clean up. Above the sink in the warehouse wall, the warped mirror showed her makeup had given up the ghost, but she did her best to remove the worst of it. She headed for the exit, mind slowly spinning. She wondered, among other things, how she’d get home.

As she approached the open door, she saw a sleeping couple off to one side. The small girl lay on top of a massive black guy. A stained blanket had been thrown over them, but it covered them poorly. Danielle saw the girl’s thin, shapely legs straddling the prone man’s trunk-like middle. Her pale, round rear-end rested slightly upturned. Underneath, his cock – fat and hard even in slumber – buried itself deep in her stretched snatch. One of his hands rested possessively on her blanketed back. Her head rested in the tight curls of his chest hair, a small smile on her lips. Danielle stopped – it was Riku. She was messy looking, short hair matted with sweat and cum, makeup smeared. Even so, she looked strangely pretty, sensual even, Danielle thought. Had Riku found the room the same way she had? Had she known about it all along and gone in intentionally? Danielle wanted to ask her so many things. Both Riku and her partner seemed to be in deep sleep, and in the end Danielle couldn’t bring herself to wake her friend, much less ask her questions, just now.

She blinked in the brightness as she left the building. She thought about how awful she must look in the light of day. She didn’t notice the bouncer-dockworker type lounging near the entrance until he he’d walked right up in front of her, holding out a plastic card with the techno-symbol logo of the rave production company printed on it.

“Free admission any time you want. Bring a friend or three. There’s a couple cabs around the corner two docks up.” He pointed it out to her. “You need fare?”

Danielle looked at him blankly for a moment before putting meaning to the words. She remembered putting her purse in Julia’s trunk last night. She nodded. The man handed her a folded up 20.

“Hellova show, missy. You come back, y’hear?” He smiled, winked at her and strolled off.

Three cabs were waiting where he said they’d be. Danielle fell into one, mumbled her address, and then leaned back in the seat. She unfolded the 20 to pay, and realized it was wrapped around more paper. Eyes wide, she separated out a real one thousand-dollar bill – and a short note on white paper.

“Great debut! We hope you will continue to party and partner with us in the future. With your talent, the mutual rewards will only increase.” The note was signed with a hand drawn version of the logo, below which were a time and address in the warehouse district – next week’s rave.

Danielle headed home, still a little dazed, turning the plastic card in her hand. She needed to talk to Riku.

THIS IS CERTAINLY WORTH READING AND PLEASE, SEND IT AROUND THE WORLD.

This is one of the best explanations of the Muslim terrorist situation I have ever read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. Not long, easy to understand, and well worth the read. The author of this email is Dr. Emanuel Tanay, a well-known and well-respected psychiatrist.

A German’s View on Islam

A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II, owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism. ‘Very few people were true Nazis,’ he said, ‘but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories…’

We are told again and again by ‘experts’ and ‘talking heads’ that Islam is the religion of peace and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam.

The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers.

The hard, quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the ’silent majority,’ is cowed and extraneous.

Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China’s huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.

The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet.

And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were ‘peace loving’?

History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points:

Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.

Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don’t speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun.

Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late. As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts — the fanatics who threaten our way of life.

Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this email without sending it on, is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand. So, extend yourself a bit and send this on and on and on! Let us hope that thousands, world-wide, read this and think about it, and send it on – before it’s too late.

Emanuel Tanay, M.D.

2980 Provincial St.

Ann Arbor, MI 48104

Ya se te hizo costrumbre ¿verdad?… pero se te agradece

¡Ah, parece que ya es obligatorio! La zorrita Allen no pude dar un concierto sin que le paso algo sexoso. O le metan el dedo en aquellito o ya bien,  se le sale un pezoncito. Pero, nosotros no nos quejamos ¿verdad?

TOFFPOX: Prudence! What kind of person drinks rum?
PRUDENCE: …A person who wants to get drunk?
TOFFPOX: No! Yes! I mean – what sort of rogue is usually associated with rum?
PRUDENCE: …Johnny Depp?
TOFFPOX: …Who?
PRUDENCE: Johnny Depp, the local barman.
TOFFPOX: (disdainfully) “Johnny Depp, the local barman”?
PRUDENCE: Yes – well, if you told me to say the first thing that comes into my head when you say “rum”, I would say “Johnny Depp”, because he’s the local barman, and serves alcohol, including rum, so, yes, he’s the sort of rogue that I would associate with –
TOFFPOX: No, no, Prudence, you’re missing my point –
PRUDENCE: Which is?
TOFFPOX: Pirates! Pirates drink rum!
PRUDENCE: …And?
TOFFPOX: We could dress up as pirates and run away to sea!

First night of Fairytale Shorts – ten minute fairytale adaptations/devised pieces performed by the uni’s drama society – went well. My short, “Scurvy Curs: A Delightful Tale of Whimsy”, about two ladies who seek adventure as a badly-disguised male pirate and a parrot named Nobstradamus, went down well. I am extremely pleased with the audience’s reaction to the whole thing. Pirates having an orgy to the tunes of “Love Shack”, a maid with a feather duster wound into a coathanger and worn as a headdress and the crew dancing around the stage to “Why Is The Rum Gone?” seem to go down well with people my age and older, which excites me. I’m glad I wasn’t just writing stuff that I thought was hysterically funny and alienated everybody else. AND they laughed a lot at my character, which I suspect is because of the highly nasal voice and the glasses perched on the end of my nose. I love Bluster. She’s insane.

COCKSWAIN: Do ye swear by the sword that ye really be a scurvy cur and yer true callin’ be to run through bluejackets and lobsters?
BLUSTER: Are you averse to killing naval officers of any sort?
TOFFPOX: No.
BLUSTER: No.
COCKSWAIN: And be ye true to the sweet trade until ye find yeself in Davy Jones’s locker?
BLUSTER: Will you be a pirate until you cop it?
TOFFPOX: …I suppose so.
BLUSTER: Yes.

Second and final night of the performance tonight. I had a nightmare that I was forced to rewrite the entire thing and everything fell apart on the night, and I’m glad that’s not the case. (I guess now that I’ve written that, half my cast is going to fall ill or break body parts. I hope not.)

In other, more academically-focused news, I got the same mark in both my first essays for this year: THREE MARKS short of a first. I started out on a trip of self-loathing once more, until my seminar tutor told me that actually, it’s really good at this stage, and next time I can work towards a first. I am very happy indeed. I got a couple of firsts last year, which don’t count towards my degree mark, but I hope to repeat the performance again. It’s very odd. I’m used to A*s in all my English pieces of work, so not getting a first kind of equated to getting a B. You won’t really appreciate this until you know that, consistently throughout my school life, I have been achieving among the highest marks in the year in everything to do with English. It was that one subject that I never ever really tried hard at but enjoyed and got high marks in anyway. Science and Maths? Bollocks to them.

I leave you with this most important moral message from my play:
BLUSTER: And disregarding the danger of STDs, they all lived happily ever after. Remember girls, you CAN do anything, but you WILL end up as a sexual object anyway!

[Click on the image to uncensor it, i.e. to see it as it was originally intended, but beware the naughtiness within...]

OK, adults only for this one. Spectacular Attractions is usually a family show, but this is a different kind of Friday. Here, go and look at Pinocchio, or possibly the Muppets.

A frame grab from Stanley Kubrick’s final film, Eyes Wide Shut. Kubrick died shortly after completing the film, having promised to deliver an R-rated movie (apparently, he watched a bunch of Hollywood’s more sexually explicit films in order to gauge what would be considered acceptable to receive such a rating). The sequence in which Tom Cruise visits a masked orgy was considered to be NC-17 territory, a rating which ostensibly marks something out as unsuitable for children, but which actually decreases its chances at the box office, rejection by self-righteous finger-waggers and unwarranted controversy from a wide variety of spoilsports. However, although MGM surely would have just snipped out the relevant glimpses of humping, they found themselves hidebound by their commitment not to re-edit or cut a frame of Kubrick’s footage. What to do? The simple answer would be to suck it down and release the film unadjusted, take the reduced box office safe in the knowledge that you hadn’t compromised the artistic vision of a man on whose name you’d been happily trading for years. Alternatively, you could take some digital people and graft them onto the film to cover up those dangerous bits of flesh. Very clever – loyal to the exact wording of their commitment to Kubrick, but actually snuffing out the spirit of it in one quick application of polygons. The result can be seen in the image above.

Barbara Creed saw this as an advance notice of the coming age of the synthespian, when human actors would routinely be replaced by digital substitutes. She suggested that as they took over, we might have to change the way we relate to people onscreen, since the virtual actor would have no Unconscious, and thus not be “subject to the same experience as the living star, experiences such as mothering, Oedipal anxiety, hunger, loss, ecstasy, desire, death.” But then, she also predicted that porn stars, already artificially augmented beyond the realms of realism, could be doubled by virtual actors. It all sounded a bit William Gibson to me, and this week’s picture instead made it look as though digital people were just going to show up in films where they weren’t wanted and spoil everyone else’s view.

¡Colosal, simplemente colosal! No hay mejor forma de describir a esta enorme y suculente hembra, que muy generosamente muestra con orgullo sus gigantesco ataque frontal. No cabe duda de que las emos han dejado atras a cualquier otro “movimiento urbano” a la hora de enseñar, borrando de paso, a las goticas, punks, death rockers, hippies, etc. de la memoria colectiva masculina. La emos vinieron a esta mundo a enseñar ¡y vaya que los estan haciendo… la neta!

Querida niña, en nuestra sucia mente ya te tenemos un trabajito listo para ese par de melones…

… creemos que tiene una gran potencial