A couple of weeks ago, while I was minding my own business online, our broadband access went out. For expats, the internet is akin to a vital  biological function, like breathing. When it disappears inexplicably it is never good.

After much poking at wires and turning off and on of the router, (pretty much the sum total of my technical expertise right there) Mr B, who arrived home in blissful ignorance of this unfolding domestic drama, promptly copped the flak.

It turns out our landline bill has not been paid.

Since we moved in.

In June.

Apparently, even though we’ve never used it and even though ADSL service is part of our rent, a monthly fee has to be paid for a landline in order to keep the ADSL on. After a mercifully short excursion to China Unicom where one employee spoke enough English to help me fill out the myriad forms in Chinese characters, we were told to wait a week and then service would be resumed.

My problem with this is not that we were cut off. That’s normal for non payment of bills. What is totally baffling is that we have not received a single bill, reminder notice, or in fact ANY kind of communication from China Unicom telling us this was coming.

When I mentioned this little episode to one of the very helpful employees in our building, she looked at me as if I came from another planet. Which in many ways I do.

Her response was, “but everybody knows that around 20th of the month bills must be paid!”

“Even though there is no bill sent? No reminders? And there is no mention of this in any of our contracts?”

“Yes, of course. This is China. Everybody knows this is how it works here,” she confirmed.

Everybody except a remedial wife it seems.

]]> http://hikerdude.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/disoriented-men-part-iii-what-time-is-it/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:32:38 +0000 hikerdude http://hikerdude.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/disoriented-men-part-iii-what-time-is-it/

Do you know the time?  This is a frequently asked question, as well it should be.  Timing is very important in our everyday lives.  And as a hiker dude, I can tell you that timing on a trail is important too.  If you take a turn on a side-trail too soon or too late you will get lost.  It will take you to places you never intended to go. One of the ways you can determine if a trail branching off from your main trail is the right one to take is from a timing perspective.  If the map says the trail you are supposed to take is after you cross the footbridge, don’t take one before you have come to the footbridge.  If the trail you are to take a turn on is 2 miles into the hike, don’t take the trail branching off after only ten minutes into the hike.  And if you haven’t come up on that turn 2 hours into your hike, you probably missed it and you’ll need to backtrack. 

Yes, you are to take a trail branching off the main trail, but it must be the right one.  And timing will help you tell if it is the right one.  There is a turn, and you are to take it, but being cognizant of the time will help you make the right turn. Too early and too late are both too bad.  Timing plays a big role in our orientation, and conversely, a lack of timing in our disorientation.  It is one of the great tragedies of life that so few realize that knowing the time to make a turn is at least equally important with knowing that you are to make a turn.

Solomon said, “And a wise man’s heart discerns both time and judgment, because for every matter there is a time and judgment.” (Ecclesiastes 8:5-6).  There are two important components to every endeavor – time and judgment.  Notice that time precedes the task.  But have you ever considered that most of our prayers seem to focus on the “what” and not the “when.”  We ask God about the task, but not the timing, forgetting that the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. 

We have schedules, appointments, and deadlines.  Yes, there most definitely is “a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).  Just take a look at the familiar list located at Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  But do not miss the introduction to Solomon’s thesis on timing.  “To everything there is a season.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).  There is a time and a season for everything.  I firmly believe that God created our four seasons to remind us that there are seasons in our lives.  Men tend to get very confused as they enter the last two seasons of their lives.  The transition from the “boys of summer” to the aging men of autumn is tough on a man’s psyche.  The weekend warriors discover new aches and pains.  It takes them longer to recover.  The time between warm-up and wear out becomes shorter and shorter.

And at the same time physical deterioration begins creeping into our lives, the mental and spiritual aspects of our lives have the potential for great growth.  “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  A man who matures and recognizes the change in seasons in his life is not only fulfilled, but he adds great value to those around him.  But what happens when men act like boys?  We’ve all seen it.  Forty and fifty year old teenagers are easy to spot.  They have refused to put away childish things and the result is anything but beautiful.  They wreck their worlds by refusing to recognize the summer season has passed.  They continue to live selfish lives, oblivious the lessons learned by their season-conscious peers.  And in so doing, they miss tremendous opportunities.

Timing is a crucial aspect of recognizing and seizing opportunities.  The word “opportunity” comes from a Latin phrase ob portu, which referred to the moment in time when the tide would turn and allow ships to enter into ancient ports or harbors.  Before the flood tide, or high tide, the ancient ports or harbors were too shallow to enter.  If you missed the moment, you would have to wait for the next tide to come in. Shakespeare captured this notion in this familiar passage:

    There is a tide in the affairs of men,
    Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
    Omitted, all the voyage of their life
    Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
    On such a full sea are we now afloat;
    And we must take the current when it serves,
    Or lose our venture.

There is a proverb in Nepal which says, “Opportunity comes but does not linger.” What do you bet that one came from some sherpas who have taken advantage of, or perhaps missed, windows of opportunity regarding the weather as it relates to climbing Mt. Everest?  Recognizing and seizing an opportunity leads to success.  Missing an opportunity can lead to delay, and sometimes a totally different destiny. (To be continued)

From TheWashingtonPost.com:

One year ago, I stood with city leaders on a hill in Northeast as we broke ground for affordable housing in the District. When the St. Martin’s Apartments are completed, nearly 200 low-income families and individuals will get a fresh start on life in a wonderful example of the type of effective public-private partnerships the residents of our nation’s capital need.

St. Martin’s is being developed by Catholic Charities, on land owned by the Catholic Church and with funding sources that include the District of Columbia.

Catholic Charities and the Archdiocese of Washington are committed to continuing to serve the people of the District as we have for many decades. That includes partnerships such as St. Martin’s. Unfortunately, the D.C. Council is considering legislation that could end these kinds of partnerships.

It doesn’t need to be that way. While we do not agree with the council on redefining marriage, we recognize that it is firmly committed to opening marriage to homosexual couples. We are asking that new language be developed that more fairly balances different interests — those of the city to redefine marriage and those of faith groups so that they can continue to provide services without compromising their deeply held religious teachings and beliefs. The archdiocese has not been alone in requesting broader language. Other groups, including the American Civil Liberties Union, the InterFaith Conference of Metropolitan Washington and nationally recognized legal scholars all called for stronger protections for religious freedom in their testimony on the original bill.

For the archdiocese and Catholic Charities, two core tenets of our faith are at the heart of our concerns: our understanding of the nature of marriage and our commitment to expressing Christ’s love through service to others. Under the legislative language before the D.C. Council, the archdiocese would be forced to choose between these two principles. The archdiocese has long made clear that all people have equal dignity, regardless of sexual orientation. But marriage is reserved for husband and wife because of its essential connection with the creation of children.

The proposed legislation offers little protection for religious beliefs, including no protections for individuals, as is required under the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Under the bill, religious organizations would be exempt from participating in ceremonies or from teaching about same-sex marriage in religion classes and retreats in accordance with their faith beliefs, but they would be required to recognize and promote same-sex marriage everywhere else, including in employment policies, and adoption and foster-care policies, against their beliefs.

The proposed legislation offers little protection for religious beliefs, including no protections for individuals, as is required under the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Under the bill, religious organizations would be exempt from participating in ceremonies or from teaching about same-sex marriage in religion classes and retreats in accordance with their faith beliefs, but they would be required to recognize and promote same-sex marriage everywhere else, including in employment policies, and adoption and foster-care policies, against their beliefs.

So what does this mean?

The archdiocese and Catholic Charities are committed to continuing to provide services in the District. Despite the headlines, there has been no threat or ultimatum to end services, just a simple recognition that the new requirements by the city for religious organizations to recognize same-sex marriages in their policies could restrict our ability to provide the same level of services as we do now. This is so because the District requires Catholic Charities to certify its compliance with city laws when applying for contracts and grants. This includes contracts for homeless services, mental health services, foster care and more. Since Catholic Charities cannot comply with city mandates to recognize and promote same-sex marriages, the city would withhold contracts and licenses.

Each year, 68,000 people in the District rely on Catholic Charities for shelter, nutrition, medical and legal care, job training, immigration assistance and more. This assistance is offered to whoever needs it, regardless of race, religion, gender, nationality or sexual orientation. Many of the programs are offered in partnership with the city, which turns to Catholic Charities and other ministries when it cannot provide social services on its own. Catholic Charities has a proven track record of high-quality service, supported through caring, qualified staff, thousands of dedicated volunteers and millions of dollars in financial support from parishioners all over the region. This legislation won’t end Catholic Charities’ services, but it would reduce unnecessarily the resources available for outreach.

We recognize that the council is likely to legalize same-sex marriage. It is the hope of the archdiocese and Catholic Charities that council members will work with us to find a way to better balance interests so religious organizations that have served this city well for many decades may continue to provide services without compromising the tenets of their faith.

The writer is archbishop of Washington.

La grève de la faim de Jacques Diouf aura laissé les chefs des pays riches indifférents.
En effet, le directeur général de l’Organisation des Nations Unies pour l’alimentation et l’agriculture (FAO), Jacques Diouf, avait posé ce geste symbolique de 24 heures pour attirer l’attention des chefs d’état.
Or, aucun des chefs d’État du G8 ne s’est présenté au Sommet et la plupart des chefs des pays riches brillaient par leur absence.

Toutes les six secondes, un enfant meurt de faim ou d’une maladie apparentée, selon la FAO.
Nous disposons des moyens techniques et des ressources pour éliminer la faim dans le monde. C’est donc désormais une question de volonté politique, [une volonté qui] est influencée par l’opinion publique, affirme Jacques Diouf.

Tant que les chefs d’état se feront représenter dans ce genre de sommet par leurs ministres de l’agriculture, les débats resteront strictement techniques alors qu’il s’agit d’un problème de destinée humaine.

Aujourd’hui, la journaliste de Radio Canada, Pauline Vanasse a joint Olivier de Schutter, le rapporteur spécial de l’ONU pour le droit à l’alimentation, pour dresser un bilan de cette rencontre consacrée à la gestion des crises alimentaires.

 Voici en gros ce qu’il en ressort :

• Aucun engagement nouveau ni avancement sur les engagements précédents. Un sentiment d’échec domine la plupart des observateurs.
   
• La production de bio carburant au détriment de l’alimentation demeure un sujet tabou.
   
• On ne parle pas assez du rôle des multinationales de l’alimentation dans les crises alimentaires.
   
• Toutes les conditions sont réunies pour l’apparition d’une nouvelle crise alimentaire qui touchera plus directement les pays pauvres.
   
• La terre appartient de plus en plus à des intérêts privés. Son exploitation en monoculture vise surtout l’exportation vers les pays riches (café, coton, cacao, etc.). Alors que les pays pauvres ont négligé les productions destinées à nourrir leur population (sorgo, millet, manioc, etc.)

Une question demeure. Et cette question fondamentale s’impose au philosophe lorsqu’il se penche sur plusieurs problèmes de notre époque, que ce soit l’eau, l’alimentation, l’éducation, la justice sociale, etc.
-Youri Pinard

Lorsqu’il est question de bâtir un monde meilleur, pouvons-nous encore, au 21ème siècle, espérer quoi que ce soit des lois du marché et de ceux qui s’accommodent bien du statu quo? En d’autres mots, pouvons-nous vraiment bâtir un monde nouveau avec des matériaux idéologiques périmés?

CR de LKT :

Ce dimanche , 6 flying avent’hure se sont inscrits à une CO longue distance à Châtellerault.

C’est notre première CO en tant que licenciés au CRENSOA , chacun s’inscrit donc sur la course appropriée à sa catégorie. Vaness, ZPM et Olive sont sur le B ;  Ju , Titi et moi- même sommes sur le A.

Tous ont fait des courses correctes ( ZPM : 1h38, Vaness : 1h13, Ju :1h43, Titi : 2h 17 , Oliv : 1h33) mais un seul s’est démarqué par une prestation EXTRAORDINAIRE : MOA !

Depuis plusieurs mois, je me préparais, suivant à la lettre les préceptes d’illustres internationaux, comme l’écossais  W Grant’s ou les maîtres  Belges de l’abbaye de Leffe…

J’avais le muscle saillant, l’œil vif et l’esprit de killer-winner de Thierry Henry. Pour l’occasion, j’avais même revêtu ma tenue bleue flambant neuve  du « CREN », bref j’avais une belle tête de vainqueur !

Au top départ, les jambes répondent  aussitôt, les chevaux sont lâchés au grand galop. Les kilomètres et les balises défilent à toute allure. Je ne fais  qu’un avec  le terrain, coupant dans des azimuts parfaits, tombant au millimètre sur les postes, le doigt électronique chauffe…. Il n’y a plus de course, plus de carte… JE SUIS la course, en parfaite osmose avec la forêt qui m’entoure !

Le poste final arrive presque trop tôt tant la communion était parfaite.

Je laisse le doigt électronique refroidir un peu puis  je vais le décharger. Malheureusement, ce dernier n’a pas supporté le rythme  et a transmis des données erronées, me faisant perdre régulièrement 5 à 10 minutes sur les postes par rapport à Ju ou Titi et avec un « pm » (poste manquant donc pas de classement) en prime. Je ne comprends pas, je n’ai pas pu faire une course aussi minable, avec des erreurs à quasiment tous les postes, me trompant systématiquement de stratégie, et en grenouillant régulièrement. C’est sûr, c’est un bug électronique… ou pas !

CR d’Oliv :

Pas d’jambes, pas d’yeux, pas d’cerveau…

Ajouté à ça, une vieille boussole pourave, au Nord aléatoire. Et, de Châtellerault, pour aller à Thouars, à pied, ça fait quand même une sacrée trotte…

CR de Vaness:

Un belle CO, pas de grosses galères, seulement un petit jardinage sur la 4 (du circuit B), une averse qui rend ma carte quasiment illisible à 5 balises de la fin (la prochaine fois je penserais à prendre un plastique), les jambes déchirées par les ronces (la prochaine fois je penserais à mettre les guêtres). Globalement  satisfaite, les jambes et la forme semblent revenir, et ça c’est bon!

CR de ZPM

beaucoup de mal à se mettre « dans la carte ». Effectivement, c’est une première. Je  pars seule. C’est en voyant d’autres concurrents (tous les autres en fait!) sortir d’un gros bosquet, sur une butte, que je comprend que c’est peut-être ici que se cache finalement la balise n° 1 . Mais à la sortie de ce bosquet, je me demande sur quel chemin je me trouve. Je pars alors à l’opposé de la balise n° 2…m’en aperçoit enfin,… fait demi-tour, rattrape le bon chemin, pointe enfin cette 2^ème balise ; les débuts sont durs ! … Moment de solitude : « qu’est-ce que je fous là »…

Il me faut bien encore 10 mn pour  bien me repérer, trouver le petit sentier que je souhaite emprunter pour arriver à la balise 3, avec les conseils de Seb’ du CRENSOA qui me dit d’aller me recaler sur le découvert de la 2. A partir de là, je commence à mieux enchaîner (ah, les conseils d’un pro ! ça aide !) , il était temps ! Ca fait quand même + de 40 mn que je suis partie, et seulement 4 balises à mon actif …

Le déclic a eu lieu ! c’est parti ! J’ enchaîne, avec quelques erreurs de précision au niveau de la distance ce qui fait que je jardine un peu, pour les postes au milieu de la forêt, notamment la 11, postée sur une souche au milieu des fougères (à cet endroit, que des souches, c’est quand même un monde. ! …).

La dernière partie, tout au nord de la carte se passe bien… l’arrivée est proche, et je termine enfin en un peu moins d’1h40 – Ouf !

CR de ju : pas brillant !

Cette petite C.O , enfin longue, devait être un bon début en tant que jeune licencié à la FFCO mais quedal !
tout commence à 9h30, départ devant LKT, je ne me speed pas, je réfléchis ! 1ere balise sans trop de difficultés, j’enchaine ! j’ai confiance en ma boussole pouce et donc c’est parti pour des grands azimuts ds les fougères (et ronces ras terre !), un peu de jardinage mais pas de grosses fautes seulement entre 30s et une minute de perdu par balise ! mon objectif : éviter une PM ! au bout de 1h43 j’arrive enfin ! dans un premier temps j’suis content puisque pas de PM mais en examinant de plus près les résultats, c’est flagrant, j’suis vraiment nul ! bon on va dire que c’est notre première CO et que l’on ne pourra pas descendre plus bas…Enfin tout est possible… ah oui, un point positif… je n’ai pas perdu ma boussole pouce !

CR de Titi

Gmurfff !!!

Newly accepted, I felt a sense of pride as well as nervousness, stepping onto Temple University’s campus for the first time.

I have been captured by the Temple Owls

I hadn’t visited prior to my decision to transfer from Bloomsburg University, TU’s appearance was not important to me.  Its journalism program, one of only two accredited programs in the state, lured me in.

Now I have seen Philadelphia before, I live about a half hour outside the city in a suburb, but never TU’s campus.  I have seen the homeless and people with drug issues who linger on the streets and thought the campus would be more of the same. 

To my surprise at about 7 p.m., the campus was well-lit up and students were walking everywhere–a perfect college environment. 

However, there is violence and criminal acts that do occur on campus, but that’s another matter.  For crime information and statistics see Temple News’ crime report.

TU’s campus looked much bigger than what I was used to at BU–an enrollment of almost 10,000–there seemed to be many students on campus still.  TU’s site says there are about 10,000 students who live on or around the campus alone, with 34,000 students in its total student body.

As I walked around the streets Temple’s campus is located on, I saw a busy, fast-paced area; what one would expect to see in the city.  But, there was a closeness that I could already sense among the students.  Many of the students walked in packs, as they moved from the sidewalks to a pizza shop or their apartment.  Two other students, who happened to be waiting

Paley Library, one of the buildings I saw on Temple's campus, photo courtesy of http://library.temple.edu

 at the same stoplight, began talking immediately about a paper due for one of their classes.

I only could glance at the outside of the academic buildings on my informal tour of the campus with my dad, but I was impressed with what I saw.  I thought the Fox School of Business building was modern in that a ticker of stock symbols ran  at a window.  The student housing buildings looked spacious and conveniently located.

This post has been guest posted at Harlot’s Parlour

Chasers. Admirers. Fetishists.

Words that often create a very emotional response from trans folk and many other groups for whom such things apply to. If you’re not in the know (and you probably aren’t, considering my audience) there’s a bit of explaining to do here. Let’s start with attraction.

Attraction (physical or conceptual) is, quite simply, a tendency towards sexual arousal or interest towards a given set of physical traits or a given set of conceptual traits. This tendency is almost always inherent to the individual, sometimes functions in a fluid fashion (but not always) and often results in physical and psychological effects when triggered by being in the presence of, in contact with, or in the position to notice an individual with these traits. This may not occur if traits that would constitute a “turn off” are present on the other person (something that either causes revulsion or simply reduces any sexual interest without causing revulsion). And only if the individual in question has turn offs. Not all people do.

Yes, I know, it sounds a little bit cold and science-y. But that really is the best way to describe it. All it is happens to be what sparks sexual interest. It can be parts of a body or it can be concepts orientated around a person. Your attraction triggers could include someone’s conceptual existence as a goth, or round perky breasts. You could be interested in folk who sing beautifully or in feet. There are certain accepted zones of attraction. These are called orientations and tend to be erasing to other attractions (fetishphobia/kinkphobia) and largely cissexist and binarist in their organization conceptually (as I’ve pointed out in this post). Then there are mostly ignored conceptual attractions (like being attracted to goths) that are pushed into personal taste, despite being as personal, as inherent and as major a part of one’s attraction as orientation. And then there are the attractions that are not accepted (but in varying degrees) and those are fetishes (and in the worst cases, paraphilias). Now, attractions are not wrong. In fact they are never wrong. They are simply a naturalistic part of many human minds, present in all but those who are asexual (no attraction type, not asexuals with no sex drive, they may still have attractions). There are some attractions that are a serious problem for the individual, for instance, pedophiles have an attraction that will invariably lead to rape if they act on it (due to children not being able to consent) but even in those cases, the attraction isn’t the bad thing, the actions are. And there are some attractions wherein the concepts are dangerous for the attracted party, like certain fetishes wherein one is eaten by another. Cannibalism basically. Engaging in sex based on that attraction could get one killed. Rape/surrender of control fantasies are risky because if you’re with someone who doesn’t care if you need to stop, you will likely actually get raped. Most dangerous attractions can be circumvented with simulation, which doesn’t actually invoke the dangerous or problematic aspect, just fools one’s arousal with simulations and faking of the triggers. So even in those cases, the attractions aren’t a problem, provide an adequate simulation and outlet can be found.

So attraction itself is simple and not really subject to ethical quandary.

This includes attractions to marginalized folks. Yes, there are attractions to marginalized folks. Every body type, likely even every concept can be an attraction trigger. In my case, there are folk out there that find the mixture of certain bodily traits on me very attractive. I have a penis, breasts, a curvy body, a minimum of body hair and no vagina. Some individuals find me attractive. Some of those individuals who do, refer to themselves as chasers/admirers/fetishists.

And here’s where things get sticky (that was not a sex joke, fuck off). You see, the attraction itself is not the issue. It never is. What is the issue are the things that surround the attraction, the attracted person and the person who is attractive to them. These things are referred to here as a Sexual Culture. Sexual Cultures are a combination of cultural elements, social trainings and ideologies that orientate themselves around sex, usually in a given context. A puritanical sexual culture is one wherein all forms of sex are evil except for one and only done in certain situations. BDSM sexual culture is one wherein the policies of the ethical system of RACK (risk aware consensual kink) rule every interaction and any that are not ruled by RACK are labeled abuse and struck down. Sexual Cultures are where stereotypes about sex, dating rules, sex rules, sexual conduct guidelines, sexual philosophies and the way that people are treated comes from when it comes to sex.

This exists everywhere. Rape culture theory in feminism? It’s a description of the Sexual Culture of straight cis men. This sexual culture is one that takes the wholly harmless attraction to women (usually cis in that context, cuz feminism fails at accounting trans stuff, even though rape culture affects trans women worse usually) and piles on objectification, bodily ownership, bodies constructed as worth less, sexual violence and a host of other awfulness. The attraction to women is not the problem, the problem is the Sexual Culture around it.

So too does this apply to chasers and attraction to trans women (and the lesbian community’s fetish for trans men and possibly even FAAB nonbinaries). I can’t speak too much on fetishes for nonbinaries in general as I’m not familiar with most of what they deal with. Same with trans guys (luckily others have gone in depth on the topic like on this link). So I will be discussing the Sexual Culture of Chasers/Admirers and folks who are attracted to us but don’t id as chasers/admirers. I may also make some references to the Sexual Culture of Devotees (or individuals who are attracted to people with disabilities that do not id as devos) due to my own disabilities. If you want more in depth material on this topic in relation to disability you should read the FWD post by meloukhia on it. Another source on devotees and the PWD community can be found here However, the concepts are more or less the same for these two groups (and presumably, this may even be able to be extended to fetishes for POC and fat individuals, but as I possess white privilege and thin privilege I am not in a position to say much on those two topics.) so you can safely extend what I’m discussing here to the Devotee Sexual Culture as well.

One of the things you’ll notice in the posts above is a laundry list of awful, objectifying shit done to PWD by some of these folks (picture stealing, pushing for sexual stuff before trying to get to know the person, etc). A similar laundry list exists for many Chasers. The oppositional assumption on our parts goes a bit off the wall however as most will assume that simply possessing the attraction in question is enough to make someone a creepy objectifying asshole (something the second post linked goes into). This is a flawed assumption, due to the fact that attractions aren’t what causes objectification, Sexual Culture is. Much like how some radical feminists will assume that any cis man attracted to cis women (once again erasing trans folk, yay unradical feminism) will invariably objectify her by the mere fact that she is marginalized and he is privileged. The power dynamic is certainly a problem and not being mindful of it can create serious problems for partnerships wherein one or more individuals are privileged and one or more of the other individuals are marginalized on the same axis. But this doesn’t necessarily mean one will objectify the other(s). Much like with straight cis men vs. women (cis or trans, of any attraction type), devotees and chasers only can become objectifiers if the Sexual Culture they are steeped in is an objectifying culture and they allow themselves to be influenced by it.

And this is not assured.

Now that we have the reflexive assumptions handled let’s talk about how objectification finds it’s way into these groups (and yes it is out there) The Sexual Culture of a group that is attracted to a marginalized group is often subject to the same dehumanizing elements of the primary culture it exists in that causes the marginalization of the group in question. Cis men have cis male privilege and participate in the culture that marginalizes all women (and does so even worse to trans women). Their sexual culture has been influenced by this primary culture, adopting the dehumanization, worth loss, public ownership, removal of agency and exploitation that all women face (trans or cis, although trans gets nailed harder due to the intersection of womanhood and transness). So too does this apply to the sexual cultures of Devotees and Chasers/Admirers alike. PWD and trans folk are subjected to dehumanization, worth loss, public ownership, exploitation, removal of agency, construction as having wrong bodies and construction as being irrelevant just through the standard function of the primary society that these groups all operate in. These forces exert an influence (sometimes a very strong one) on the Sexual Culture. In turn, the influenced Sexual Culture can take on these aspects, which are made intensely worse by the fact that the Sexual Culture is orientated around sex (wherein loss of agency, dehumanization and etc creates a Rape Culture because these things translate to ridiculously harmful sexual involvements when sex is thrown in). So bam, just like with het cis guys and women, these cultures spill over folks attracted to PWD and folks attracted to trans women. Which means that these folk (just like het cis guys) have an uphill battle to fight against a culture that tries to drown them in the idea that we’re all just sexual objects.

This is not helped by the number of devotees and chasers (I don’t have exact numbers, so I can’t say if it is a minority or a majority. Most likely, somewhere in the middle) that give into this social training (or absorb it unawares) and become creepy stalker fuckjobs or exploitative assholes. These folks not only marginalize the hell out of us, engaging in exploitative, boundary ignoring behavior that at best is stalkeresque and creepy and at worst involves rape and violence, they also create a very strong fear of anyone having the attraction in our group (as per the assumptions made above). Because let’s face it, many of the creepy asshole types in these fetish groups will try to abuse sex positive views and twist the situation into a question of attraction, while trying to push the eyes off of their just utterly awful behavior. This fucks things up fairly badly for the folks who aren’t creepy at all and still id as the group in question. And this is an issue in and of itself. Individuals attracted to PWD and individuals attracted to trans women are often regarded as sick, fucked up or wrong somehow. Which isn’t good for them and it’s pretty damn bad for us too. It constructs our bodies and us as undesirable (both PWD and trans folk face this) and anyone that does is broken somehow. The creepy fuckjobs who infest these groups and thrive due to the problematic Sexual Culture of the group further enforce this idea of an attraction to my body as being broken (which further stigmatizes my body, just a giant clusterfuck everywhere) because they act so awful that we start practicing oppositionalism just to protect ourselves.

You really do get into a habit of flipping out when you hear the word chaser or admirer. That protective shell builds when someone gets the “omg that’s hot” look in their eyes when they find out you’re trans. That protective shell is even thicker if you’ve been stalked, had pictures stolen, or even was exploited, abused or raped by a possible chaser type (as I was). And this has an effect, just like in the linked comment, the solution Goldfish offered to the friend in question was to not identify as a devotee. Because the name itself, the identity associated with the attraction is in and of itself stigmatized now because of this oppositionalism and because of the creepy fucks who claim the title. Same with chasers. I mean, let’s face facts. If someone came up to me and said, “hey, I know you’re trans and I find that really attractive, I’m an Admirer” my alarms would go off and my walls would go up really quick, unless I knew the person well and knew they weren’t one to objectify me. But the solution really isn’t for them to find a new name. Identity is a tough thing to drop and really the identity isn’t the problem. The problem is that they are steeped in this very bad culture that creates some very bad apples and those apples subsequently go out and make our lives a living hell. Oppositionalism doesn’t really solve this, it also doesn’t really protect us. The really creepy fucks will just pretend not to be chasers at all if they really want to manipulate us. Putting guards everywhere to keep out folks with a given id will not fix that.

So what do we, as marginalized people, do? What should they, as those who are attracted to us, do?

Well for one, it isn’t our responsibility to fix the people who hurt us and subsequently clear the names of the people who don’t hurt us but are associated with those people who do. In fact, our only responsibility is to be mindful of the actual risks and dangers and to avoid stigmatizing ourselves to ourselves. So we need to learn to carefully separate attraction from objectification so that we’re no longer asserting that finding our bodies attractive is some awful horrible thing. That’s the only thing left to do. We aren’t obligated to trust folk as, after all, none of you wear signs. So handling the conceptual end of it and preventing our bodies being further construed as wrong, broken or bad is where our work ends.

The majority of the work falls to those who are in these communities, who id this way, to clean up their own houses. What does this mean? Ethical Devotees and Ethical Admirers, the folks who just have an attraction and are decent folk, who don’t objectify and love the person not just the body or concept, have the job of cleaning up their respective communities. This entails many of the same things that cis heterosexual men have to do to avoid objectifying and hurting women (cis or trans) in general. I’ll give it to you all in a list:

So to ethically minded Devotees, Admirers, Chasers and other fetishists, this is what you need to do to clean house and clear the names of your communities, while clearing the harmful objectifiers from your ranks and avoiding becoming one yourself:

1: Be Mindful of Privilege: There is a very unequal power dynamic in any relationship you have with the folk you’re attracted to. Work to compensate for it. Work to comprehend what advantages you have and avoid invoking them. Make sure that this mindfulness is an expected trait in your community. Understand that as a cissexual and/or cisgendered and/or currently abled person you may be regarded as a danger to us because we can’t determine who’s who among folk. So be cautious and be respectful.

2: Fight The Culture: Boycott the websites that steal pictures of folks with disabilities or take unwanted pictures of trans folk and display them. Speak out against objectifying behavior and stress the importance of safety, consensual involvement, love, empathy, safe words and the dangers of privilege. Call out problematic statements and actions by your devotee or chaser peers. If you know a friend in your community who goes into support group chats or goes to activist and support conventions to troll for a quick fuck, call him, her or hir out. Make sure the community knows of that person’s bad actions and make sure that such a thing is not condoned.

3: Don’t Expect Cookies: Face it, it’ll be years before many of us will feel safe with fetishists. Many of us never will. In fact, some of us will likely always just be creeped out by your attractions (cuz of personal taste). And that’s even if you make huge strides in changing your Sexual Culture overnight. Chances are, there will still be static from folk on you for your attractions and ID, because this fear and disgust at the objectifiers has been building for a very long time. Not everyone is gonna wanna be your friend. Don’t push it. We do have a right to protect ourselves and since we can’t know who is trustworthy, if someone is creeped out by you or wants space, give them space. The more you push your way in with folks who already have reason to worry about your peers, the more you’ll end up coming across as one of the creepy ones and hurting your cause.

4: Be Mindful of Context: Having the hots for someone can sometimes make folks act stupid. I fall over myself when a cute girl is nearby, usually blushing and making words not function quite so well in my mouth. Folks who are used to being pursuers can sometimes come on too strongly and not think when they meet someone who really sparks them. Be mindful of where you are, who you’re talking to and other factors. You might be at a kink rally, lots of fetish minded people together, but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to have the same fetish as you. Assuming that a PWD or a trans woman at a table is going to be cool with you trying to go into scene with them or even swooping right in to ask them out is a bad call. It really comes down to the same sort of thing as regular dating. Get to know the person before you go for the sex. Unless you’re in a context where it’s basically an orgy party or something, and even then, considering the assholes who are your peers, you might still want to ask permission first.

5: Stop Bad Shit From Going Down: If you see someone creeping us out, acting fucked up or exploiting one of us, don’t let it continue. Step in and say, “hey, look, she doesn’t want to talk to you, back off” or “stop trying to touch him”. Or if you’re less confrontational take the offending individual aside and speak to them in private about their lack of tact and their creepy bullshit. Oftentimes apologizing on behalf of your peers goes a long way to reminding us that hey, there are ethical devotees and chasers out there, that aren’t giant douchebags. They’re also helpful to us cuz well, life is stressful for marginalized folk.

6: Be Mindful Of Our Feelings: Don’t say things like, “I love your people”, or “your kind is so hot to me”. That’s creepy, othering, privileged and just fucked up. We aren’t sex dolls. We aren’t walking porn. Treat us like people. And if you already do, make sure your peers do too. If we look uncomfortable, back off (or get your friend to back off). Don’t expect sex and don’t let your peers expect it either. A big portion of rape culture is entitlement and a lack of empathy. If you care about our feelings more than how much you want us in bed (or even just want to date us) you will be golden in avoiding going down the bad path. If we find your attractions creepy, don’t make a damn argument about it. It’s no different that being a little freaked out by bloodplay or scat (ew scat), different folk have different tastes and certain things just squick certain people. If you stick around and try to push us, you’re just adding to the problem. If one of us says, “get the fuck away from me”, go, “I’m sorry you feel that way. Bye.” and walk. Any other option will likely just add to the problem, stress us the fuck out (which we do not need as marginalized people) and make you look like a creepy doucheface.

7: Don’t Blame The Victims For Not Trusting Your Kind: Always remember too, it’s your peers who ruined this for you, not us. Cis het guys don’t have call to yell at girls who don’t trust them for being untrusting. The massive number of rapes done by guys, the abuse, the exploitation and the unwanted objectification done by het cis guys is why this is going on. Same for us. We’ve gotten stalked, our privacy has been invaded, some of us have been abused and even raped by people who have your same attractions and claim your same title. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t like them because there’s no way for us to know what you’re like at first or even second impressions (like mentioned on this post). So instead of pissing and moaning at us because we’re rightfully very scared, worried and apprehensive, handle your people, fix your group, clean house. Don’t expect us to endanger ourselves cuz you’re nice. That means you aren’t so nice after all.

8: Avoid And Stop Entitlement: In the end we’re people. We have agency, will and we make our own choices. We have our own wants, needs or desires. Those needs and desires may not include you. Get over this. And for those that are already good there, make sure your friends get over it too. Us being rare or unusual does not entitle anyone to sex with us, pictures of us or anything else. It does not entitle folks to stalk us or try to learn our address, real name, etc. It does not entitle folks to catcall or to walk up to us and say sexual things without even knowing our names. Don’t walk around as if you own us and if you don’t, make sure none of your peers do this too.

And that’s just the main ones. The fact is, folk being attracted to my body is a good thing overall. The disgust I see on the faces of lesbians and the hate from straight cis guys isn’t ever pleasant and I rarely feel sexually appealing or even nice looking. Someone finding my body type attractive is good and it’s a huge fucking shame that a whole mess of objectifying, creepy douchenozzles have to ruin that. Now, if you find it creepy that someone finds your body attractive, that’s fine too. I know for a lot of folks, they don’t want to have a mixture of traits or they’re working to treat whatever is causing their disability. That’s fine, but that doesn’t change the fact that many of us are not changing anything (non-ops, PWD who are happy as is, etc) and would like to be loved. I’m not ever gonna look at you and say, “oh god, you’re attracted to trans folk/PWD? You’re fucking disgusting.” There are certain fetishes that I find a little offputting (if you find my IBS sexy, that would be offputting because it involves poop and ew poop) but your attraction is not bad. What is bad is your peers (or you, if you’re not so ethical) acting creepy, not respecting us as people and doing exploitative, abusive or objectifying things without our agency, will and choice being honored. That is the problem. And it’s up to you to fight it.

Clean house. Clear your name by stopping the awfulness. And then maybe we can all enjoy the benefits of living in a world where everyone’s body has someone that can get that spark from it.

When I attended my first expat wives coffee morning here, one of the most heated topics of discussion was the treatment of expat husbands in the Chinese workplace.

Not so much in terms of support from corporate HQ, although that came up, (congrats Microsoft, your HR support for accompanying families and working spouses is the only one I’ve heard consistently good things about) but the day to day reality. The overwhelming sense was one of bewilderment.

Of course, adjusting expectations and battling to understand complex behavioural norms is a fact of life for expats. Add a language barrier and you have yourself a situation.

Neither is it fair to say every expat working here has an awful time. Everyone has come here for the opportunity to work in the most important market of the 21st century. Most love it. Some never leave. But almost everyone will also admit to some serious frustrations at one point or another.

I’m not going to touch on the issue of “face” or table manners or how to present business cards. What follows is based on raw observation and feedback from the coal face – tips from anecdotes heard over the past 6 months:

• Start learning Mandarin – you can have an interpreter (and sometimes this is a useful negotiating tactic during meetings with clients) but they will always edit and you won’t gain as much respect as if you have a go;
• However, make sure it is clear from the outset to HQ and the local team that language ability does not happen overnight and, in the vast majority of cases, that’s not why expat workers have been bought in;
• Insist on a foreign line manager – a truth universally acknowledged in Beijing is that reporting to a Chinese boss does not work, leading to massive stress and resentment on both sides which often filters back to HQ. If you can’t, insist on having a liaison at HQ (NOT someone in HR);
• Likewise, understand that for most Chinese, having a foreign boss is like a slap in the face. While it will never be acknowleged publicly, the view is that expat workers are lazy and spoiled and completely unecessary. Maybe they are. More often than not, you will be resented. See point 1;
• Understand that while most Chinese employees will get a kick out of being invited into your home, trying western food and drink, hearing western music etc, it is almost always done out of politesse and will last a very short time. One woman I met spoke of preparing for hours before her team came for a drinks party, only to have them arrive en masse and leave after 30 mins.
• The office hierarchy is unspoken but strict. If you manage to make real Chinese friends at the office, count your blessings, it is extremely rare and will probably consist of Chinese who have studied abroad;
• Yes, at some point expect to be presented with bizarre foods and plenty of booze. And yes, it is a test of your manhood;
• Get used to finding 15 different ways to explain something – short and simple in as many ways as you can think of;
• After handing out instructions, set a deadline for the team to come to you and ask questions. If you don’t, you may find that when you check in on progress days later, team members are still struggling to understand what needs to be done or discussing it amongst themselves;
• Don’t be surprised if after a team discussion about a task where no one appears to have immediate questions or concerns, a team members is appointed by his/her fellows to come to you with questions. Understand that culturally, this is extremely hard for the person in question;
• Don’t be surprised if you receive negative appraisal/feedback on your performance. Remember the Chinese education system is based on trying to shame pupils into good habits and on fierce competition where all tactics are considered valid. Try not to take it personally but above all manage it with HQ – if you work with teams in other offices, insist on feedback from them to provide a more balanced perspective;
• Get used to resentful colleagues sending emails directly to your boss, with you in CC, for all manner of petty issues. These normally revolve around the fact you have refused to do your colleague’s work for them. Emailing up is a daily occurrence, it seems.

Forewarned is forearmed, right?

The 1st week of the 2nd sem started and it was a total chaos! The schedule of our duties and lectures were not yet ready. We only rely on text messages to know if we have classes the following day. We don’t even know when will the day end…Our professors already gave us the course outline for us to read in advance and assignments! Well, this one’s a given. We also had our hospital orientaion yesterday for our O.R. duty/shift. I hope we’ll have a blast and enjoy our rotation.

I was so busy and very tired every day. Hope to hear from all of you soon. Many THANKS to all my readers

Graduate students at UND come from places far afield including every state in US and over 40 countries. Each year, we have questions from students who ask about our winters and the best places to find clothing, tips for traveling and getting around town. We decided to put together a “Winter Survival Guide” for newcomers. On this web site, students can learn more about the challenges and opportunities for living in our region.

Yes, winters are cold, but this also provides some “You can’t do THAT in California!” moments, too. Public ice skating, cross-country skiing, building snowmen…you get the idea. We have also provided some winter weather health and safety tips, as well as places to consult in case of a winter storm.

We would like to hear from you, too. Do you have a great winter tip? Leave a comment and we’ll add it to our Winter Survival Guide web site.

L’Onisep présente un nouveau service d’orientation sur Internet, en complément de son site (http://www.onisep.fr), Monnorientationenligne.fr (http://www.monorientationenligne.fr).

Vous êtes collégien, lycéen, apprenti, étudiant ou encore parent et vous vous posez des questions sur l’orientation, les filières de formation et les métiers ? Retrouvez le site “www.monorientationenligne.fr” proposé par l’Office national d’information sur les enseignements et les professions (Onisep).

Par le biais d’un service gratuit et personnalisé sur internet, des experts de l’Onisep et des conseillers d’orientation-psychologues vous informent et vous aident à vous repérer dans le système éducatif et les démarches d’orientation. Pour cela, vous pouvez utiliser le courrier électronique en cliquant sur l’onglet “poser une question“, l’Onisep vous assurant d’une réponse. Vous pouvez également utiliser le “t’chat” à partir du site, les experts de l’Onisep et les conseillers d’orientation-psychologues répondant en direct à vos questions du lundi au vendredi, de 10 heures à 20 heures.

3300122    เภสัชศาสตร์สัมพันธ์    Pharmacy Orientation

บทนำเข้าสู่วิชาชีพเภสัชกรรมและการศึกษาเภสัชศาสตร์ ปรัชญาแห่งวิชาชีพเภสัชกรรมวิวัฒนาการและจริยธรรมแห่งวิชาชีพ หลักสูตร เภสัชตำรับ สารสนเทศ สถาบันศึกษา องค์กรวิชาชีพ และสาขาวิชาชีพต่างๆ จรรยาบรรณและบทบาทของเภสัชกรกับงานสาธารณสุข

(Pharmacy orientation: philosophy, development, and ethics of the profession, the curriculum, pharmacopoeia, professional pharmaceutical organizations and divisions, ethics and roles of the pharmacist in public health service.)

(3300122 จุฬาลงกรณ์มหาวิทยาลัย)

Breakfast consisted of my water bottle and a pumpkin muffin, consumed in the car. I woke up just 20 minutes before the Total Body Conditioning class I wanted to take at the gym today. So I had to throw on my clothes and grab some food fuel to make it to class on time.

Grab and go breakfast

Total Body Conditioning kicked my ass today! I felt like a total weenie at times because I could not finish my reps with the weighted bar. Although it kicked my butt, I really enjoyed class. The instructor is high energy and just keeps the class distracted with laughter the whole time. I also enjoy this class because we work almost every muscle in the body from top to bottom. We use a weighted bar, weights, stretch bands, a step and body pump balls. Definitely a great workout to start my day.

After the gym I speed home to take a quick shower and get ready to go to the Calumet Area Humane Society. Today was my volunteering orientation! I learned so much today while I was at the shelter, and it got me so excited to start volunteering there! Did you know it takes $90,000 a month to keep the shelter running? And the humane society gets no government funding! This means that the $90,000 has to be raised to keep the shelter running each month. Mind boggling if you ask me. That is why I am happy to donate my time to such a great cause.

Lunch:

I went and picked up my beautiful mother for a late lunch. We went to a local bar and decided to split a sandwich since neither of us were all that hungry.

Turkey and artichoke on cibatta bread accompanied by french fries!

French fries are definitely one of my greatest weaknesses. I do not discriminate either, I love all fries: cottage, sweet potato, waffle, steak, shoestring… you name the fry and I will eat it!

Mom and I each enjoyed a beer with our sandwich. Hey, its 5 o'clock somewhere!

Dinner:

Nick and I met out friends Michealene and Allan at Portillos for dinner. We are all heading down to Purdue tonight and needed to stop for a quick bite. I went with the chicken caprese panini and a water. Need to hydrate before we go out to the bars tonight and dehydrate!

The sandwich was so big I ended up eating a half and then the chicken out of the other half.

Now that we are all fed it is time to drive the hour down to Purdue!

Diversity is more than an issue of race, especially as society expands and encompasses those with differences. Today’s America is a virtual rainbow of skin color, gender identity, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, economic status and physical ability. This variety, although unwieldy at times, ultimately brings us closer together as human beings.

The question posed is this: How do we, as citizens of the world, ensure an equal, inclusive existence for all people while, at the same time, acknowledging and respecting the differences that define us as individuals? Members are encouraged to tell their stories and discuss among each other the common threads and common ground that tie us all together.

The term “gay believers” freaks out a lot of fundamentalists.  For me, to acknowledge there are gay believers is no harder than to acknowledge there are Catholic believers, or Methodist believers, or Seventh Day Adventist believers, or believers who smoke or eat red meat, or believe in the rapture.   Acknowledging that someone is a Christian does not mean I necessarily agree with all their beliefs.  It simply means that God accepts us where we are.  After that, we all, whoever we are, start a journey of change.  What change, and what direction that change takes, is up to God.