Overheard just now as I’m drinking my tea…

Bradley: Dad, did you go to Grade 12?

Lance: Yes, my boy

Connor:  And did you come back?

LOL!! Too cute!

The three most dangerous words in medicine for therapeutic interventions are:

“In my experience…”

I like Christmas carols. I like the quiet simplicity of Silent Night. The grandeur of Angels We Have Heard on High. The history behind Deo Gratias. I love the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols done by King’s College. Bates College did the same service, and put luminaria all over the paths in the quad–which made it look a little like an airport, but I digress.

Photo by Mikmor

It may be the onset of incipient curmudgeonliness, but I cannot stand the repetition of so-called “carols” that are not. Deck the Hall is OK, in small doses. Bing and Frank doing “The Christmas Song” also sets the stage for the season.

It is still November, however. could we please give them a rest? When there are still Thanksgiving leftovers, I don’t want to hear about Santa Claus is Coming to Town. And if Grandma gets Run Over by a Reindeer whilst Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, Santa Baby, good bloody riddance.

I’d also like to hear the dreidel song, perhaps, for a little variety? Maybe a little Klezmer music? A nice snack of holiday hummous would be a Turkish Delight. (I don’t know of any winter songs from the Middle or Far east, that’s all I can come up with.

Hrumph.

“I want to watch this movie sometime, but I can’t remember what it is.” The man at the bar gestured up at the silent television overhead. “It’s weird. About robots.”

“Transformers?” asked the girl, though what was on the screen was animated.

“No,” he said. “It’s some weird Pixar-type thing.”

Round 1.

Upon pouring the cans of evaporated milk into an already full bowl while making pumpkin pies:

Olivia: Are you sure this is going to fit?

Me:  Yes.  I think…

Olivia:  That doesn’t sound too reassuring.

Me: It will fit.

Olivia:  In the name of God?

Me: In Jesus’ name.  Yes.

Round 2.

Olivia:  Chocolate pie? (Liv doesn’t like chocolate very much)

Me:  Chocolate Mousse Pie

Olivia:  Why chocolate?

Me:  Because it will be wonderful.

Olivia:  In the name of Jesus?

Me:  You got it.

Last Easter my mother acquired this charming set of DvDs for her “entertain the grandchildren” stash of goodies.  Well, suffice to say the grandchildren are entertained.  They are so entertained by seeing their favorite tales come to life that even Thomas the Tank Engine takes a back seat.

The funniest, though, is that Dinosaur seems to live out the tales in his little head.  He has an amazing ability to memorize lines from these shows/stories and for using them at the  most unguarded moments (nothing like a little Tom Kitten quote in the middle of Mass to embarrass Mom & Dad).

We have been awakened in the mornings by calls for “More silk! more silk! Yellow taffeta for the lining!” (The Tailor of Gloucester).  Coming in from the outdoors sometimes involves: “My coat! My shoes! Oh golly!” (The Tale of Peter Rabbit).  One bedtime the phrase was amended to fit the current state of his wardrobe: “My hewicopter jammies! My shoes!”

Sometimes I have to remind him that there is a time and a place to act out scenes from the different Tales.  For instance, the other night Grandpa was gently explaining to Rascal Why We Apologize to Our Brothers for Hitting/Pushing/Pinching Them (etc).  As I dryed the dishes, I caught a glimpse of Dinosaur advancing on Grandpa from behind (Grandpa was sitting on the floor, right at his level), getting ready to pop a laundry basket on top of both of their heads.  Grandpa was about to participate in a Benjamin Bunny tableau, but I doubted he would have recognized that at the time so I diverted our little actor.

Benjamin Bunny & Peter Rabbit are under the basket, hiding from the cat

Concerned Coworker:  What’s up with your boyfriend?  I haven’t heard you talk about him in a while.

Amorous Lady:  Oh, I’m not allowed to call him anymore.

Concerned Coworker:  Why?  Did you break up?

Amorous Lady:  Well, not really.  I was told I had to stop calling him my sexy boyfriend.  I’m not supposed to talk to him again.

Concerned Coworker:  Huh?  I thought you guys had been dating for a few months.

Amorous Lady:  Right, I wanted to go out with him – that’s why I told him he is my sexy boyfriend and that I’m his girlfriend and that he couldn’t see other people.  Some woman in HR told me I’m not allowed to call him that anymore and that I have to stay away.  How stupid is that?

Concerned Coworker:  Okay….that’s..uh…wow.

Amourous Lady:  I hate Human Resources.  They always pick on me. 

Editor’s Note – I am so excited that I found Amorous Lady!  I have such high hopes that she will be as entertaining as Barefoot Coworker.  I think I kind of miss Barefoot since she left to pursue her scrapbooking dreams.

One of the things I love most about working with preschoolers is the possibility. When we get a group of 3 and 4 year olds in the Art Studio, few think “I’m not an artist” or “I’m no good at this.” Instead, they jump in feet first, exploring materials, trying out their ideas, and letting their imaginations go. I often wish that I could be a little more like that.

This month in our Arturo’s Art & Me class, we talked about dogs—everything from what they eat and how they can be trained, to why we love them and how artists have portrayed them. We read a wonderful book, Dogs’ Night by Meredith Hooper that imagines dogs in paintings at the National Gallery in London coming to life and jumping out of the art. We searched the European galleries to see how many dogs we could find in paintings here at the Dallas Museum of Art. (A few of which we highlighted here). Then in the Studio, the children decorated little stuffed dogs and created homes for them out of shoeboxes. Everyone had a great day, and the children found personal connections to the works of art by talking about something familiar—dogs.

We don’t always know how much that happens in the museum stays with the children, but last week we received an email from a dad that reminded us of how powerful a visit to the museum can be for a young child. (It also reminded me of why I love my job!)

He wrote:

 The kids [got] so excited about discovering the art. My 4 year old talked about it all afternoon, then slept with his new dog, his Best in Show ribbon on his pajamas. He is still talking about how “dogs in London can jump out of paintings.” And his 2 year old sister goes around singing “doggy doggy where you go?”

Art is going to the dogs, and we couldn’t be more happy about it! We’d love to hear about what your children think and say about art. Please share your stories by making a comment.

Posted by: Leah

I was on the T train, heading downtown the other day to meet an old high school friend.

On the train I overheard the following awesomeness:

Girl 1: Can you still get STDs when you are on the pill?
Girl 2: No, I don’t think so.
Girl 1: Oh good.

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Lil Wayne was in my dream last night! Yeah. He had a farm. No, I mostly just made fun of his voice a lot. “Hey, girl, who knew we’d have so much in common?” And I was like “Lil Wayne, I had no idea!”

(Professor, heard from outside a chemistry lecture hall.)

Prof: Okay. Now, imagine you’re all molecules. Good. But I hate molecules! Uh-oh, really bad!

(Two girls, talking at a library study table.)

Girl 1: Were they at least cute?
Girl 2: The girl was a cute Latina woman, but the guy had a scum-stache. I had to turn up my Walkman to drown out the squelching noises.

(English professor, in a small lecture.)

Prof: Government needs hospitals and other utilities to run smoothly. Something like the Starship Enterprise.
Student: ExCUSE me?
Prof: What?
Student: Have you … have you ever even seen an episode of Star Trek?

(Guy, girl, talking in the Music building.)

Guy: Did you see the tree-lighting ceremony that year?
Girl: No, was it good?
Guy: Yeah. Josh Groban got so turned on, he ate the microphone.

(Guy, at a bus stop.)

Guy: It’s November. I’m rolling. I’m all by myself. I’m rolling, and I think I’m gonna write a Christmas song.

(Two girls, coming out of an exam.)

Girl 1: Bombed it. That was terrible.
Girl 2: I think I did okay, actually.
Girl 1: And – damnit! And I forgot to water my veggies in FarmVille!

(Guys, coming out of the gym locker room.)

Guy 1: Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift?
Guy 2: Probably Miley Cyrus. Taylor Swift looks like a cat that got hit by a makeup train.

(Guys, in the Student Union cafe.)

Guy 1: Dizzy Bat, flip cup, pong. What else.  Need some more.
Guy 2: Forty-hands?
Guy 1: Maybe.
Guy 3: Pitcher drink?
Guy 1: What’s that?
Guy 3: You drink until you pass out.

(Guy, waiting at  a Starbucks.)

Guy: Listen, if I’m gonna date a girl, I’m just saying, she’s gotta respect my ass. I got a pretty big ass. It demands a lot of respect.

Overheard: “What’s 8 times 5?” *Counts on fingers 5, 10, 15…*

I heard this Afghani quote yesterday from a reporter that had spent a lot of time in Afghanistan…..

….’the American’s have the watches…we have the time’…..

How true and astute…..

Sometimes you can’t help but look at the people who are carrying a conversation because they say something that catches your attention. A woman passed by me with some dude and said “it’s hard being a single mother…”

And I looked back for some reason and thought, “Yes it is brave lady. Looking as old as you do- it would be hard.”

“Maybe they could do a full compultation for the damages?”

-Random first year torts student.

Bryan, upon fixing the broken dishwasher: Yeah! Why don’t you blog that shit?!

Hadly Clark is our guest blogger today! She is the coordinator for the Center for Creative Connections at the DMA and enjoys interacting with families and children when they come to visit.

How creative are you when the clock is ticking? Can you create a self portrait out of scraps of cardboard, pipecleaners, raffia, and tape? Are you ready to belly-up to the Materials Bar and Showdown? If you are up for the challenge to create under pressure using everyday materials come to Friday’s Late Nights at the Dallas Museum of Art and take a seat. Every other Late Night in the Center for Creative Connections, our resident sherrif, Rob McCullom spins the Inspiration Wheel, starts the clock, and the Materials Bar Showdown begins. Visitors of all ages are welcome to participate and enjoy the thrill of making something each five minute round.

With a little help from the Inspiration Wheel, participants are given a hint of what to make. When the five minutes are up, the sherrif walks around the Bar while participants show their creations and asks questions like, “What were you thinking about when you made this?” or “What is your creation called?” Although winners are chosen each round for their use of materials, creativity, effort, or craftsmanship and are awarded a small prize, each participant has the option of taking their creation home as a momento or leaving it on our shelf to display in the Museum.

The Materials Bar Showdown has quickly become a highlight for all ages and levels of creativity. Although the Showdown is a race against time, many participants think of it as an exciting personal test. If the Inspiration Wheel lands on ‘Fashion a wearable decoration’ you will see participants all over the Museum wearing their finished hats, jewelry, and glasses. Participants who leave their creations often inspire future creations by other visitors after Late Night.

Several families have made the Materials Bar Showdown and Late Nights a monthly outing with friends. One mother said to me, “We come every Late Night with the kids and the Showdown is their favorite because they can create something of their own and show their friends. We’ve even started doing our own Showdowns at home with recycled materials I find around the house.”

Many people who observe art-making at the Materials Bar notice something exceptional happening. One father said, “My daughter doesn’t even know that little girl sitting next to her but they are creating something together. And my wife is making a boat! I didn’t even know she could do that.”

Although the Materials Bar is always open during regular Museum hours, the Showdown is a fun challenge for kids and encourages out-of-the-ordinary art-making. Come join us in the Center for Creative Connections at the Materials Bar this Friday at 9:00 and 11:00 p.m. and see how you create against the clock!

I have heard one too many times, over zealous Americans talking about President Obama as if he is the Devil. Some even go so far as to say he IS the Devil. In the same breath they go on an on about “change”…how they want change. Apparently the Devil is not doing enough to change things here in the good ‘ole US of A. I don’t see anyone else doing anything about it either.

Americans ask for change (in between name calling). When they get the beginnings of it they want you to slow the change down. Not going slow enough? Let’s stop the change all together so we can look at it again from all angles (all the while making sure everyone knows that the President is actually a Devil or terrorist perhaps). Years go by and nothing gets accomplished (but at least we know the Presidents genealogy). New President (who at first is compared the Savior Jesus Christ) comes in with big promises and everyone moans that the last President didn’t get anything accomplished. Well guess what? Nothing got done because everyone was so busy moaning and complaining and comparing the President to the Devil.

This pattern is rife throughout American history…oh right, in between all the wars that is (which may or may not have been an instrument of the Devil).

As a Canadian living in the United States I get a real unique perspective. I am appalled with the behavior of Americans with respect to how they talk about their President. I am appalled with some people I know and care about and how they talk about the elected Head of their country. I am appalled when someone who obviously has not one iota of respect for another human being calls the President of the United States the “reincarnation of Lucifer”. It absolutely makes me ill. Maybe it’s just the religious zealots I am talking about but somehow I don’t‘ think it is.

So what exactly do Americans want then? Status-quo or change? Because change takes guts and change takes making leaps of faith now and again. Change is expensive and tiresome and requires tweaking here or there and on an ongoing basis. I think Americans better take a real hard look at where their country is going and a good look into themselves at the same time. Because if it is change you want, then be someone who facilitates change. If you don’t, then I guess tell everyone why. But while you are at it…don’t bring the Devil into it because someone like me might be wanting to punch you in the face.

It’s offensive.
K.

I was out this week at a work function. I was informed by a 65 year old that his replacement was… ‘a lesbian and she’s got her fingers in a lot of pies…’.

He clearly didn’t connect the two phrases. Being a dirty bastard I did!