Cleaning the Paris sidewalks

In Stephen Clarke’s book, “Paris Revealed: The Secret Life of a City” there is a chapter called pavements. What may seem like a curious topic is actually a serious subject for anyone who has spent much time in this grand city. Like any large city, the sidewalks of Paris can be quite filthy. Unique to Paris however, is the staggering volume of pee and poop. In the latter, it’s dog; the former is both dog and human–with males being the single source. It’s well known how much Parisians love their dogs. And the casual observer will see lots and lots of pooch poop. Surprising to those new to Paris may be the freedom that males feel to relieve themselves seemingly anywhere. Although the government officially frowns on the behavior–there is a 450 Euro fine for, “épanchement d’urine sur la voie publique.” (Spreading urine on the public highway.) If this fine is actually a deterrent, it’s hard to see the effect.

Because of such massive deposits of poop and pee on the Paris sidewalks, the city employs a small army–4,950 in total– that attempts to keep them clean. In the photo above, you can see the sidewalk worker power washing as a jogger attempts to dodge the spray. What I found interesting was the combination of the worker going about his Sisyphean task–a ubiquitous scene in Paris, and the unusual site of the jogger. Certainly not a Parisian and most likely an American.

I met Stephen briefly at the Paris Writers Workshop I attended last month. He spoke during the lecture on Literary Trends: Self-publishing and E-books. The panel consisted of a few self-published authors who shared their stories of how they got published. Each story was unique and eye-opening. Stephen’s in particular, amused me, made me laugh, and of course—inspired me.

What’s so inspiring about Stephen’s story was how he used his determination, his creativity and his sense of humor to reach his goals. He went from being self-published to selling his books to a publisher. It goes to show that as long as you keep going, keep believing and keep writing—you too, can get there.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is my interview with author, Stephen Clarke.

During the Paris Writers Workshop, you mentioned how you initially self-published and sold your books in a trolley around town. Tell us a little bit more about that experience.
SC: It was very liberating. I was told by several professionals in the book trade that my novel, A Year in the Merde wasn’t worth publishing. So I did it myself, the old way, that is, by finding a printer, a cover designer, and getting the software to lay out the pages. I was then free to do whatever I wanted, so I had fun with the blurbs, doing collages for the cover, adding fake endorsements, even the copyright disclaimer had jokes in it. I got 200 copies printed up, but I decided not to let anyone know I was self-publishing, so I invented a fake publisher called Red Garage Books and claimed that “we” (it was never clear who “we” were) had discovered this great unknown called Paul West, who’d written the all-true exposé of life in a big French company and couldn’t reveal his identity for fear of being fired or assaulted. I then started trying to sell the books door to door in English-language bookshops, and sold almost no copies at all until I got a mention in a freebie newspaper, after which suddenly I was getting 100 orders a day. I then sold the rights to a “real” publisher, who clearly thought the book was worth publishing after all. That’s a very brief resumé. What I remember most is six months or so of solid work (that’s after the novel was finished), a lot of panic, several troughs of despair, and a hell of a lot of fun.

With the recent success of e-books, should writers still consider traditional publishing first?
SC: It’s entirely up to the writer. Obviously e-books are a lot less difficult to publish and ship, but you miss out on being able to hawk them to bookshops, so I don’t know. If you want an instant world market and know how to use the social networks, I’d say go for e-books. In any case, Americans seem to have forgotten how to turn the pages of actual paper novels, and the rest of us won’t be far behind because we always end up following the American lead in technology. I’m sure my iphone will soon have a real-book detector fitted, and if it smells paper pages nearby it will refuse to turn itself on.

What advice can you give writers who have been rejected by Literary Agents?
SC: Either find another one, or don’t – it’s a very personal relationship, a bit like finding a sexual partner. Someone might think you’re cute but hate your smell. The same goes for agents, except your idea is the cuteness and your style the smell. Just because one or more says no, it doesn’t mean they all will. On the other hand, there are those who prefer to do without…

What advice can you give writers who have self-published but are struggling with book sales?
SC: Look for niche markets. If your book is about French blue cheese, make sure you’ve sent emails to every magazine, website, club and trade union dealing with France, cheese and blue things. You have to plug yourself non-stop. I still do this. Any time there is any friction at all between France and the Anglos, I will tweet about it, and any journalists interested in my opinion on the subject will get an interview. You have to be a blatant self-publicist, even if you’re doing OK.

What do you think makes a good story?
SC: Absolutely anything that grabs readers’ attention. The same story told by two different people will be as different as Shakespeare and Barbara Cartland. You have to make sure that your version is gripping.

What do you think makes a good writer?
SC: The ability to finish writing their book. And the voice. You have to find your own voice, your very own, personal way of narrating.

What book(s) are you currently reading?
SC: I am re-reading an excellent comedy novel called The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, by David Nobbs, and have just finished Robert Harris’s latest, The Fear Index. Though I prefer his historical stuff.

What is your favorite thing about being a writer?
SC: Giving readings and seeing people laugh.

Thank you Stephen for letting me interview you. It was a lot of fun.

Stephen’s book, 1,000 Years of Annoying the French is #1 at the Amazon.co.uk’s French History chart.

To purchase Stephen’s books, please visit his website or go to Amazon.com.

Look for Stephen on Twitter: sclarkewriter

I spent the last day before this whirlwind Paris trip at work, from 9am to 6pm. It was difficult. Lucky we were busy. On the way from the train station to the shop in Malvern I spotted a Travelscene agency so I had to take a picture! This is all thanks to them after all!

On my train trip this morning I finished reading the excellent book Paris Revealed by Stephen Clarke (pictured above) which was exactly the kind of travel book I wanted to read about the city. You see, I’m not one of those Lonely Planet kind of guys. Yeah sure they’ll tell you all the tourist attractions, and best restaurants, but unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m pretty sure you know most of the iconic Parisian sites.

I wanted a book that told me more about the city, a bit more about the life there, and some of the secret quirks of the city. Clarke has written a fantastic guide that is part humorous travel story, but local knowledge, and filled to the brim with lots of cool little tips on everything from how not to annoy a Parisian, to which metro stations are the coolest to visit… yes VISIT not just commute through. There’s a chapter on public urinals that used to be in the middle of the footpaths, as well as a detailed description of many of the places that were destroyed in the historic city. Well I guess I won’t be seeing those. For anyone wishing to visit the city and wanting to know a little more than just what a guide book mundanely tells you, or for someone that is interested in travel writing, this is a great read.

When I got home tonight I started packing, and plotted out all the places I was interested in seeing on my little map and in my moleskine. I won’t tell you what they are just yet, because I don’t want to spoil any surprises… plus there’s a good chance I’ll just get carried away and end up walking all over the place seeing things I never even knew existed! So stay tuned for that. My first day does include a tour from Urban Adventures with all the winners of the competition, which sounds exciting and will get us acquainted with Paris. I’ll also be reuniting with my best friend under the Eiffel Tower later that night!

Last night we found out where we’ll be staying; The Hotel California, just around the corner from l’Arc De Triomphe! As such I’ve had that Eagles song stuck in my head all day, and after spending a year in the US last year I’m wondering if this is another sign that I’m bound to end up back there again some day soon. *Fingers crossed*

So now it’s putting the finishing touches on my packing, in prep for an early rise tomorrow, probably 4:30am so I can get myself to Sydney to fly to PARIS.

PARIS.

This is still so surreal!

Bonsoir!

PS: Now you can follow some of my fellow winners on Twitter too!
Yvonne @4DaysInParis, Ally @AllyMosher, Sarah @ParisAtEaster and myself @seanjbryan

I’ve recently finished reading a book – on my Kindle of course, it makes me look far more cosmopolitan (and far more English) to those sat around me on the RER – called ‘Paris Revealed’ by Stephen Clarke. It gives all sorts of tips about living as a resident in Paris and helps you to look a bit more inconspicuous and a bit less like a tourist. I loved it so much I’ve now started to read ‘A Year in the Merde’ by the same author. Stephen Clarke is an English man who moved to France for his new job and the book hilariously recounts all the fun and games he had in his first year living here. I definitely recommend his work if you’re thinking of moving here yourself!

One of my favourite passages from the book is the following. I think it sums up Parisian life perfectly:

<< It seemed that, as an EU citizen, I had to go to the ‘prefecture’ – the central police station – which was next to the flower market on the He de la Cite, just along the river from Notre Dame. Sounded very picturesque. All I had to do was take my passport, work contract, three passport photos, a recent electricity bill and the marriage certificates of any hamsters I’d owned since 1995, all photocopied on to medieval parchment. No problème. >>

I’ve had so many comparable situations myself; everything here is just that little bit trop bizarre. If you want to buy a magazine to busy yourself on a Sunday afternoon – don’t go to the supermarket as they don’t sell them. If you want a coffee with milk, make sure to ask for a coffee with cream instead. Or go to Starbucks when the language is international – except for when they ask for your name, and it results in them shouting ‘toll cafay avec vannee for Lou-ee-ss-aa’ and you don’t know if they’re presenting you with your order or if the girl next to you has a very similar sounding name and it’s actually for her.

Don’t forget either that here, escargots come in tins the same as tuna. I’m not sure margarine even exists and it’s perfectly ok to push your way onto the train before anyone’s even thought about getting off. Don’t worry if strange men sit next to you and ask you how you’re doing, or if you forget that you have to manually open the door to get off the metro.

And if things go wrong – shrug your shoulders in a ‘C’est la France’ sort of manner and then cry/laugh it off tout seul later on. But certainly remember that saying ‘je suis Anglais’ will get you out of pretty much any situation…

I have books about Paris too – in particular the latest by Stephen Clarke (Paris Revealed) which is a great little read all about ‘les secrets de la ville d’amour’. It tells you all the hidden stuff that only true Parisiens know about- and hopefully will prepare me for the unknown. I’m planning on using this blog to update you all with my own insider knowledge once I get there too! Who knows, I might be a successful travel writer one day myself. I can hope.

Thanks again to all those who have already subscribed to this blog – and if you’re reading this and haven’t yet signed up, do it! Just enter your email address into that box on the right and you’ll get toutes mes aventures Parisiennes sent right to your inbox. Ce sera top!