Only one killjoy had anything negative to say. Curtis Blade’s letter accused him of the one thing he prided himself on avoiding: inaccuracy. Specifically, Curtis informed him that Soupy Sales had, sadly, died in 2009.

For a gossip columnist obsessed with all things celebrity, it was like being slapped across the face by a stick of butter.

Parry Peeper didn’t need to take it like a pacifist, even though he looked it up and discovered that Curtis was, technically, correct. There was still a way for his reputation to survive intact.

The next day, Parry Peeper wrote a shocking update.

Com Zom Bomb? The ha-ha invasion coming to CoLAm hides a sinister subplot. Parry Peeper has exclusively learned that famous funnyman SOUPY ZALES, scheduled to feather The Nest soon, will be delivering his jokes from beyond the grave, throwing pies and eating brains. Can Can of Love survive ANOTHER zombie apocalypse, this time sprinkled with slapstick? Or will the City Council keep our town an undead-free zone? Stay tuned!

Oh dear, sighed Mayor Zane as she read this over her toast and orange juice.

Sure enough, there were a half a dozen calls when she got into City Hall that morning, and they kept streaming in all day. By that evening’s City Council meeting, it was obvious that she needed to add an emergency agenda item.

There was nothing complicated about the ordinance, a simple ban on zombie comedians. She drafted it with alacrity befitting a dedicated public servant, narrowly focused so it could withstand scrutiny up to the Supreme Court. After a brief introduction, it passed unanimously. If Zombie Soupy Sales wanted to mount a comeback, he’d have to do it elsewhere.

Ten years ago, shortly after her final funeral, Maryann found herself in Can of Love. She wasn’t quite sure how she found herself there, but she did, and she looked around and thought to herself, “Why not?” So she found herself a modest little condo and set to creating a new life. Maryann soon discovered that the town’s basketball club needed a permanent home. Realizing how well-positioned she was to provide it, she threw herself into the role of sports arena tycoon.

When the Cane Toads of Love weren’t playing, Maryann endeavored to find other uses for The Nest, which she did with some success. ArgaNarc, the world’s largest convention for agoraphobic narcoleptics, came back every year, raving about the furnishings and decor. The American Psychic and Parapsychic Association loved Can of Love, because it was the only town they’d ever been to where nobody made jokes about unforeseen circumstances. It was also a great venue for bands and comedians. In an early coup, The Nest hosted Gallagher Too in his last performance before the injunction.

At the Rusty Fishhook, Andrea Smith returned from the restroom with one of Ace and Deuce’s handmade signs. She laid it on the bar and summoned the patrons with a booming “Men and Women!”

“There are only women here,” Rhonda the bartender corrected. It was a quiet night, and apart from Andrea, the only drinkers were Twila Knickerbocker and Natty Gibson.

“You could be hiding something,” Andrea accused. “Anyhow. What do you make of this.”

“Looks to me like Soupy Sales,” Natty said. Then she sighed blissfully, her deeply wrinkled face lighting up. She’d attended a taping of his show in 1954, and it remained the highlight of her life. She still sent him a very nice fan letter every Wednesday.

“It has been a while since Maryann has had anyone at The Nest,” Twila observed.

“Sounds fun,” Andrea said. “I hope he or she will give a good show.”

No one can quite trace how word spread from the bar, but it did. In the next day’s Can of Love Daily Herald, Parry Peeper’s Gossip Gulp column contained the following item:

Guess who’s coming to Can of Love? Nest-builder Hubble hasn’t mumbled, but you can double your bet that SUPERSTAR funnyman SOUPY ZALES is on his way. Soupy’s people couldn’t be reached to comment on rumors that he’s the illegitimate father of one of our most prominent second-ward city councilmen, but we know we’ll be watching his movements like a hawk from the moment he gets into town until the moment he leaves.