Here is the sequel to the biggest song of the year and Jay-Z is no where to be found. Apparently this is the final version of Empire State of Mind Part II and Jay’s reported verse is missing. Alicia still does her thing, but the song does seem like it is missing something. If you saw her live performance, this is pretty much the same exact thing as it is pretty much just Alicia and her piano. If a version with Jay pops up, you’ll find it here, but until then this is it.

[Download]

Don’t loan things to people you haven’t known for more than 6 months/can confirm they aren’t going to totally suck. Especially not shit you really care about (though I know it looks like this is just a lot of random junk).

Call it a hunch (it’s all I have, but my best guess), but I think the perpetrator may have left the cinnamon roll………………………

Few people know my weakness for baked goods…… ok FINE, everyone knows my weakness for baked goods.

Lost? Here is the sort-of Part 1: Shit I found on my doorstop this week.

Tuesday November 24, 2009 By Kevin Morrow

Now social conditioning to me merely means how the mind sees reality. How you grow up and the environment you live in determines the values put inside of your mind. It does this until you decide to be in charge. Social conditioning structures things like how we view marriage, sex, relationships, and boundaries of what is acceptable and not acceptable.

The difference between a girl that is your friend and a “girlfriend” is a social label. It’s a conditioning of the mind to recognize the difference between a casual and a not so casual “friend.” What I’m getting at is these things get downloaded into our mental programs of reality.

One of my girlfriends and I got along way better after the energy of a “label” was taken away in our interactions. The label puts the mind into separation, which is a separation from love. Think about this, if you have a conversation with a married person you may automatically close of doors to certain forms of love because you feel that persons love is reserved for one person.

I’m not talking about sex here, or intimate things of that nature. I’m talking about closing the doors to potential mind healing because you hear the label married, and assume that you have to close yourself of to certain types of love.

This is not the case, people in perfect love are responsible for their actions and would be open to all forms of love instead of closing them self off to the possibility. Again I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about communication.

It’s just been socially conditioned into the minds and it takes an element of freedom away. When freedom is no longer free, things become uncomfortable. You can still talk to a married person and share energy, but that doesn’t mean you have to sleep with them. Sex is not love anyway. Sex is to reproduce, and that’s it. It is viewed as fun because it is the representation of union. Love separated and then combined. It’s an attempt to reconnect with perfect love through the body.

Ever notice though that sex is more mental? Love is not sex, but sex can be love. It’s the separation of mind that creates the labels and creates illusion through its “perceived” separation from love.

Do you know why sex is one of the most dominant urges of the human experience? The reason is it’s a material attempt to reconnect with G-D and perfect love. Separation and union, separation and union, just like the mind has done with LOVE.

WHY DO PEOPLE GET HURT OVER BREAKUPS?

People get hurt over breakups because they don’t understand love. They are trying to make something perfect that cannot be if it’s not perfect love. In order to have perfect love your mind cannot have separation from love.

The mind is creating a social conditioning image of love through the eyes of the EGO. So you build up all these expectations of how “”PERFECT” something should be, and then when it’s not “PERFECT” your expectations are shattered. When expectations don’t live to what you see, your EGO get’s pissed. The only way to support a separation from perfect love is to make you see it through foggy classes.

So you chase something you can’t really see, and you keep chasing because you really think your seeing it. Like a cat chases the light of a flashlight across the floor. The cat can never actually catch the light, because what it is actually seeing is not what it thinks it’s seeing.

When you label yourself as only giving your love to one person, you severely restrict yourself. Once again I’m not talking about sex. The spirit which is PERFECT LOVE doesn’t need sex, and probably experiences orgasmic energy all the time because it’s not separated from reality.

Now if you flip the script and dedicate yourself to be intimately in love with yourself, out of perfect love, then situations of perfect love will be yours to experience. EXACTLY how you believe them to be possible.

Now back to social conditioning

If you look to the outside world to figure out what love is, all you will see is fear. Things in the world pass away, therefore fear will be in the outside world. When you get married you say “Till death do us part.” Strong statement, but death can be of the mind as well. But death can only be of the mind that isn’t real.

Anything real will last, anything not real will pass away. Real love has no boundaries. You see this sometimes in mother child interactions. There are mothers that have unconditional love for their children no matter what they do in life. They see them through perfect love vision.
Nothing can destroy perfect love, but illusions can make it seem that way.

The thing that ego fears worth is death. All EGO is, is the separation from perfect love. So when you fear love, you are fearing the death of love, not love itself. Just remember that love cannot die.

<

Certainly not on the same level as the original but this version definitely holds its own.

Jay and Alicia are probably performing the set at the AMA 2009, Sunday Nov. 22, 8pm E.T. on ABC

Part 1:

Part 2:

Credits: iBreatheLifeMusic

You can check out part 1 here…..Personally I thought this was way better than the first so I hope the third is a banger!

If you haven’t had a chance to read part one, check it out before you continue.

Hopefully, you have gathered a few key points from my previous post, but I’ll recap briefly keep it fresh. I’ve mentioned that a science has defined rules (like the rules of programming in C), and an art has no defined rules, relying instead on expression of emotion. As you begin to examine game design, however, the lines become blurred. So if the question here is “Does game design have rules?”, then the answer is yes… and no. In programming, the rules are unbreakable. You must use semicolons, you must draw objects to the screen to make them appear; that never changes. But when you are drawing a picture, for example, the rules are far less defined. Do you have to use a brush? Do you have to use color? Are there any rules at all? In game design, there are rules that can be obeyed or disobeyed, rules that are optional, rules that aren’t unbreakable, but hurt the game to ignore them, and areas where there are no rules at all.

The "rules" are getting harder and harder to define

Defining the rules of game design, like the rules of the English language, is tricky. A rule of English could be as follows: A sentence must have a subject and a verb. This seems perfectly acceptable, and it’s a rule that everybody follows. The problem related back to what I said earlier about a science having unbreakable rules. Could you ignore that English rule? Sure. Hey, look at that, I just did! I’m not the only one either. May authors take artistic liberties in order to convey a message, or to express their personal style. Now that you have an example, I’ll discuss it in terms of game design. What’s one thing that every game you’ve ever played has had in common? One thing that comes to my mind, would be that they all have pictures. So, could it be said that it’s a rule that all video games must have images, text, or any other sort of visual? Well, I played a game on the “XBOX Indie games” (although granted not a very fun one) where the screen was entirely black, and that game used sounds to communicate ideas to the player. So was the rule broken, or was there even a rule to break in the first place? This is the main argument I’ve had with myself, and, from what I’ve deducted, it seems that it is up for interpretation. There really isn’t a right or wrong. Just patterns and norms.

How do you define a video game?

Does it pay to follow the norms? Should you be different and “break the rules” just for the sake of doing so? How far can a game stray from the norm and still be accepted by the mainstream? These questions leave any sort of objective realm, and are based entirely on opinion. I could give you my thoughts on the subject, but I think it would be more beneficial to form your own. One of things that I love so much about games is the variety, so the fact that these questions even exist is something to celebrate.

11 September 2009

God has given to you certain privilege, to hear the truth, to know the truth, hear the message of Christ. Not everybody in the world has that privilege. You have. In that sense, you have been under the knowledge of the truth which produces responsibility. What are you going to do with that truth? You going to be like the leaders of Israel who because something else is more important to you that you possess the love of your own sin, or your own system, or your own philosophy, or your own relationships, you will spurn Christ and hold on to what condemns and damns. This is the time to let go of everything, put your trust in Christ so that youre not destroyed and added to the number of those who forfeited all the potential and offered blessings of His Kingdom.

The Murder of God’s Son: A Prophetic Parable, Part 2

SuedeKnight
“New Zealand…wow. This is beautiful!” Peter said.
“It is gorgeous, but we have work to do,” BurntIre reminded them.
“Mountain Dew!” Suede said.
“No! We’re here for…for…” Linz tried to remember why they’d come to New Zealand.
“Mountain Dew!” Suede said again.
Linz sighs. “Will someone get him a Mountain Dew already?”
Suede began staring off into space. “Dew-bee-dew-bee-dooooooo”.
PinkQT thought she saw a store and began walking toward it. “Over here Suede!”
Suede stood still.
Elisabeth leaned into Suede’s field of vision. “Sueeeeeeeede?” she said in a sing-song voice.
“Hmm? Oh, sorry, I got distracted.”
“By what?” Reserved4One asked.
“I miss real food. I miss real beverages. I miss Song.”
“Well…” Linz began, “…wait, what?”
“Are you okay Suede? Do you need a doctor or something?” HPA asked.
Elisabeth looked at Suede with great uncertainty. Faithful2thecall backed away a few steps.
Suede breathed a deep sigh. “It’s time I came clean…I’m not really Suede.” He reached his hands back; his fingers began poking into the back of his head. After a second of fidgeting, his face began shifting.
“AHHHHH! HE’S AN ALIEN!!!” screamed PinkQT.
The fake Suede’s face began to come off of his face in one large hunk. In fact, it seemed his whole head was coming off. Fake Suede pulled the back of his scalp forward, removing what seemed like his whole head. It was only a mask, a mask covering another head. This Suede-impersonator rose his head and looked up to his friends. Reserved was the first to speak when the face was revealed. “Oh my goodness…it’s…it’s… ..Alf?”
“Well, you were pretty darn close Pink,” Peter said.
“Um guys? That’s just a picture of Alf from TV. His shirt is still covering his face.” Elisabeth corrected the group.
The fake Suede pulled his shirt down, his face in the open now.
“Psst…it’s your line Reserved,” said Peter.
“Oh sorry,” she said “It’s…it’s…!”
“Hey, it’s Pam!” Pink exclaimed.
Collectively, the group turned toward Pink. “Who?”
“Pam…the spray! They have Pam in New Zealand!” Pink held out a can for everyone to see. “I found it in the store. See? Hey, what’s HAHA! doing here?”
Everyone looked back at the Suede impersonator. It was HAHA!
Everyone’s jaws dropped. “Russ…what in the world have you been doing impersonating Suede?” HRAD finally asked.
“Well,” he began, “I was in Wisconsin and…well, long story short, I thought it’d be funny. I mean, acting like Suede, I get to be crazy and no one questions it. I mean, I could do that anyway, but you know…I thought you guys would catch on eventually. I mean, I slipped up in Canada when I asked if they had ‘pop’. Remember? He never calls it pop. I thought you guys would be on me for that. I thought that was SO funny I just…well…kept going.”
Linz responded “I hadn’t thought of that…’pop’…huh…”
“Well, Russ, you fooled all of us and we all feel ridiculous. What do you have to say for yourself?” Ft2C asked.
Russ looked at Ft2C. “Ha ha?”
“Oh Ruuuuss!” Elisabeth said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms. Russ shrugged his shoulders.
The end credits began to roll. “AAAAAHHHH!!! WHAT IS THAT???” Pink screamed.
“Looks like giant words!”
“But they’re in another language!” yelled Peter.
“No no, they’re just backwards,” Elisabeth said. “They look like…like credits or something.”
“But this can’t be the end of the story,” said Ft2C. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah,” said Russ.
“Good contribution Russ,” said R4O.
“Hey, I’m thinking. I think or I come up with witty comments,” Russ responded. “But the time is not for wit. It’s time…for action!” He sprinted towards the credits and clutched the word “producer” from the sky. He rolled and punched and scratched and headbutted and tussled and battled with the word. The group cheered him on.
It was to no avail. He couldn’t muscle the credit into submission. He was wasting his energy. Breathing deeply, he stopped he furious assault. “Guys…guys…I know what to do. I know what to do. I saw this in a movie once.”
“Oh great, ’cause that always works,” said HRTC.
“Worked in ‘Dumb and Dumber’,” replied F2tC.
“Oh yeah,” said HRTC.
Russ went over to the shop Pink had come out of. He reached behind the building and pulled out several pieces of paper. He ran back to the group and began handing them out to everyone. “Here, everyone, read this, quickly.”
A booming voice came down from the heavens. “‘Nothing Is Hidden’ was filmed before a live studio audience.”
“Quickly! We haven’t got much time!” Russ yelled. Everyone looked at their scripts. “Okay,” Russ began reading, “It was another quiet night…”
“There’s a typo on my copy,” Elisabeth said.
“Sorry, my bad,” Burnt Ire said. “I typed that copy.”
“Shush!” Russ yelled. “…you know what, go to Page 3. Page 3! Where Pink, HPA, Linz, and Elisabeth meet up with Suede. You didn’t really meet up with him, so we have to go back to this point in the script! Just…settle in, everyone…”
Everyone read their script out loud, in unison with one another.
“BOO!” they read. HPA screamed, just as she had on Page 3. This time though, she screamed because they were no longer in New Zealand. Everyone looked up. “Where are we?” HRTC asked.
It was dark, definitely night time…they clearly weren’t in New Zealand anymore. They were sitting in tall grass. It was chilly, not exactly cold, but not warm either. The air was crisp, the sky clear.
“I hear something…” F2tC said.
“As long as it’s not the lambs…” Russ said, trying to lighten the mood.
“I hear it too!” exclaimed Elisabeth.
“It sounds like a…like a troll or something,” said Linz.
“Like a troll and a lawnmower…” said HPA.
PinkQT clutched on Burnt’s arm, whimpering. She started squeezing too tightly.
“Pink, I’m nervous too, but get off me!” Burnt shoved Pink off, pushing Pink off-balance. Her hand hit something.
“What is that sound?” F2tC asked. “What is that sound?”
“I don’t know Faithful…” Pink reached her hand back to the object she’d hit a moment before. It was hard…no, it had some give to it…a hard-ish item. She pulled out her cell phone and pressed a few buttons to light it up.
“Pink! Put your phone away! We might not want to attract…whatever it is,” said Reserved. She immediately ate her words when she saw the object. “Guys,” she said, “it’s…it’s…”
The noise got louder. It sounded more and more like Wolfman Jack. Well, an impersonator of Wolfman Jack, because Wolfman Jack is dead in real…nevermind. It got closer; they could hear the footsteps moving through the grass. They tried to understand what they were hearing…
“Guys…” Pink said, “I found an empty Mountain Dew bottle.”
“SUEDE!” they all yelled. Now they knew what that noise must be!
They heard the person coming now. “…ba nana na nana…jukebox money…LOVE SHACK! Bay-bah, LOOOOOVE SHACK! Uh! Uh! LOVE SHACK!”
They got up and ran over to Suede.
“Suede! How the heck did you find us? You wouldn’t believe what’s been happening!” said Elisabeth.
“Yes I would Liz,” Suede said. “I read the script. I saw you’d be in a field in Fredonia, Wisconsin. So, I made a few arrangements, and bam, here we all are. Now…whattya say we hop into the bus I’ve rented and let’s head down to Texas?!”
Everyone vocalized their approval. They ran about 100 yards to the north where the long school bus awaited them. They piled in, Suede in the driver’s seat. He started it up and pulled onto I-94 southbound. “Texas, ho!” he yelled.
The radio began playing “Knights in White Satin” as they began riding off down I-94.
“Guys…” Suede said, “…did I ever mention I can’t drive?”

BrittanyM
…PQT opened her eyes and jumped out of bed, *BI* (who she was rooming with) gave a start and awoke also. “What’s the matter?” asked *BI*
“Oh, I can’t believe the nightmare I just had… and it was so… so… realistic! I’ll explain it to you.” And she sat on the edge of *BI*’s bed and started telling her how believable everything had been!

Meanwhile Elisabeth was in the dining room of the cruise ship eating bon-bons and talking with a really nice good-looking guy she had just met about smiling and what an effect it has on people. A girl walked in the room and smiled at them (E noticed this), grabbed a couple carrots and walked out. Since E was curious who she was, after she was done with her conversation she walked out on the deck and started strolling.. noticing every face while searching for the girl, but she was no where in sight, so E decided to go play a game of ping-pong with Kris instead.

Linz was swimming with HPA in the indoor pool and enjoying a relaxing time chatting when this same girl walked in, got in the pool and sat by herself.
“Hi, how are you?” asked Linz.
“Good, thank you!” replied this girl.
“Where are you from?”
“Oh, just around—OH!”the girl said while she jumped up and ran (while being cautious not to fall) out of the pool room.
Linz was a little surprised, and not sure exactly what this girl was up to, and why she didn’t want to talk to anyone, but she looked nice, and as all girls like a good mystery L decided she’d find out as much as she could about this mysterious girl.

BurntIre
“Come on,” Linz whispered to HPA.
“Huh?”
“Let’s follow her!”
HPA followed Linz out of the pool room, grabbing a towel on her way out. “What on earth are you up to?”
“That girl–the one I was talking to?”
“Yeah.”
“She just… got up and left all of a sudden. Like someone was watching her or something. I want to find out if anything is wrong.”
HPA shook her head. “You know, I heard once that too much pool water can make your head go to mush. She probably just suddenly remembered that the light was still on in her room.”
“No, it’s something more than that…”
HPA reluctantly followed Linz down the hallway.
“What’s up?” I asked as I passed them.
“Oh,” HPA rolled her eyes, “Linz is in her Nancy Drew mood again. She’s following some girl.”
“I never thought YOU’D turn stalker,” I laughed.
Linz waved her hand. “Let’s go–she just went through that door.”
“It’s marked ‘Private’,” HPA noted. “She’s probably part of the staff.”
“No,” Linz shook her head. “She’s definately a passenger.”
“Like us,” I said. “And as passengers we have no business going in there.”
Peter came up behind us, dressed in a bright floral Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, and cargo shorts. “Hola! What’s going on?”
“Whooa!” HPA pretended to shield her eyes. “We’re headed to New Zealand, not Hawaii!!”
Peter shrugged and peered over his glasses at her. “A cruise is a cruise.” He studied the door. “You ladies weren’t planning some wickedness, were you?”
“Us?” I chuckled innnocently. “Of course not! We’re just on our way to–”
“I think this girl is in trouble,” broke in Linz.
HPA and I exchanged looks.
“I was talking to her in the pool and all of a sudden she left like–” Linz’s shoulders drooped. “I know it sounds silly, but I really think she’s in trouble. Could you help us, Peter?”
Peter pushed up his sleeves. “That’s what Marines are for! May I lead the way?”
“Please,” smiled Linz.
“The charmer,” HPA hissed.
“Appealing to his sensitive side,” I muttered.
Peter checked over both shoulders before easing the door open. A flight of stairs leading downward greeted us.
“Guys?”
I jumped.
PinkQT stood tapping her foot, hands on her hips.
“Ah–ah–we’re just–ah–just–” Peter helplessly played with his shirt collar.
“Oh, I could see what you were doing.” A slow grin spread across her face. “But you wouldn’t do it without me, would you?”
“Of course not!” Linz said, relieved.
Peter started down the steel stairs first, followed by Linz, HPA, me, and then PinkQT.
“I saw that girl, too,” said PinkQT. “She did look a little nervous.”
A lone lightbulb swung overhead.
“Whew,” I shivered. “This place is–spooky.”
The stairs seemed to go on forever. Finally at the bottom we heard a strange clanging noise. Two unmarked doors were on either side of the small room.
“Which one?” HPA was first to ask.
Peter laughed nervously. “Whichever one doesn’t have that noise coming from it.” Linz tried the door on the left. “It’s locked,” she said. “The girl must’ve gone in that one…”
The clanging noise got louder.
We fell silent.
“Peter.” I gave him a shove. “You may do the honors.”
“But, ah–Linz! You wanted to come down in the first place!”
“Yeah,” PinkQT argued, “but you’re the guy here–and the Marine.”
Peter slowly opened the door.
HPA and I locked arms. PinkQT put a hand to her mouth. Linz’s face looked strained.
Peter cackled, “Hey, it’s the boiler room!”
The four of us girls let out heavy sighs.
“The boiler room,” Linz giggled. “Thank goodness!”
I peered in myself. “So she went in there?”
“She must’ve,” said HPA.
“I don’t think there’s a light,” PinkQT mentioned. “Does anyone have a flashlight?”
Silence.
“OoooK,” PinkQT said. “We’ll get along without one. I sure hope they clean this place. Because I am NOT in the mood to run into any spiders…”

“I can’t see anything,” I whispered after Linz had shut the door. “Maybe we should leave it open.”
“Good idea.” Linz twisted the knob. “It’s locked!”
“What?” HPA stepped up to try it. “It must only open from the outside!”
“Strange,” PinkQT muttered. “I guess that means there is another door out of here.”
We stared into the darkness.
Peter broke the silence. “But where?”
“Whooooa!” HPA shrieked. “Something touched my hand!”
“That was me,” I said sheepishly. “All that clanging–well, you know.”
“We can link arms,” HPA offered generously.
I quickly grabbed hers. “Thanks.”
Peter let out some sort of strange noise–halfway between a laugh and a snort of disgust. “C’mon, I know you’re scared, but I’m not about to hold hands with anyone!”
Linz asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Someone tried to hold my hand. We’re all friends here–which one of you?”
The silence was almost scarier than the clanging.
“PinkQT?” Peter sqeaked.
“Not me! Why would I want to hold your hand?”
“HPA?”
“I’ve got Berny’s,” she reminded him.
“Bern?”
“I’ve–”
HPA began, “She’s waiting to hold–”
“Don’t you say it!” I interrupted.
“Wan–”
“HPA!”
“Hill’s.”
“Arrrrgghhh!” I exclaimed.
“Well, if it wasn’t one of us,” Linz said, “Than who?”
PinkQT hurriedly suggested, “Let’s just keep going. Follow the wall here.”
“Yuck.” I made a face. “It’s covered with mold! I didn’t think mold could grow on a ship.”
“Stranger things have happened,” said Peter. “Wait–there’s some boxes here. We’ll have to go around.”
PinkQT suddenly let out a scream that echoed off the wall. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
“What?!” HPA shouted. “What?!”
“I want out!” I wailed, not wanting whatever PinkQT was battling to get me.
“Spider web!!” PinkQT batted the air in front of her face. “All over my hair! Where’s that spider? It was HUGE! Is it in my hair?”
Linz put a hand to her chest. “Oh my goodness… I thought you were being murdered or something!”
Peter snickered, then quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.
“It isn’t funny!” growled PinkQT.
“Of course not,” I assured her. “He’s just–”
“Hold it.” Peter raised his hand.
“What?” Linz hissed.
“I thought I heard a door opening.”
HPA jabbed me with her elbow. “Take my arm.”
“Thank you.” I gripped it with two hands.
Then… footsteps.

“Who’s there?” demanded Peter in a shakey voice.
The footsteps stopped.
“Answer me or I’ll–I’ll–”
“Peter? That you? It’s Faithful2thecall. We got worried and they sent me to look for you guys.”
Linz let out her breath. “Faithful…”
A small light turned on and Faithful2thecall walked toward us. “All I have is this little light-up pen. Where’s the light switch to this place?”
“Did you see a girl when you came in here?” PinkQT asked him.
Faithful2thecall looked thoughtful. “Yeah–she was coming out when I opened the door. She looked really surprised to see me.”
“Did she say anything?” I questioned.
“No. She just–took off down the hall.”
“Come on,” HPA urged. “Maybe we can still catch her!”
Faithful2thecall led us to the door. I sighed happily as light flooded the room when he opened it.
Peter turned to Faithful2thecall. “Which way did she go?”
“That way.” He pointed down the left hallway.
We walked as swiftly as we dared without getting in trouble with the ship attendants. As we rounded the corner we bumped into Elisabeth and ~PK~.
“You found them!” Elisabeth exclaimed.
“We were following a girl,” PinkQT explained.
“I know the very one you’re talking about!” ~PK~ said. “We saw her on deck. Let’s go!”
“Hey!”
We turned to see Kris and HRAD running our way. “That girl–”
“She’s on deck!” said ~PK~
“Not anymore,” Kris announced. “She’s in the game room playing ping-pong with some guy.”
“Game room!” Elisabeth cried. “Hurry!”
Throwing all dignity aside, we broke into a full run, brushing past other passengers and yelling apologies over our shoulders.
“Oops, excuse me, ma’am,” I said as I nearly plowed a red-haired woman over.
“Of all the nerve!” she sputtered.
“Young people.” One old man shook his head. “Always in a hurry!”
HRAD reached the game room first. “There!” she called.
The girl with long brown hair turned from the ping-pong table. Her mouth fell open as we galloped towards her.
Elisabeth breathlessly collapsed against the table. “Whatever–it–is,” she heaved, “we can help!”
“Yeah.” PinkQT nodded. “Just tell us–is someone bothering you? Do you want us to go to the police?”
The girl just stared.
“Guys.” The girl’s game partner stepped up.
“Suede?” Faithful2thecall gaped.
“What are you doing here? With her?” I asked.
“This is Aunt Sam.”
“Ohhh,” HPA whispered.
Aunt Sam smiled. “Hi.”
“Why did you run from us?” Kris put her hands on her hips.
“Well…” Aunt Sam laughed. “It’s kind of silly now. You see, I’ve been told I look like that British actress who inherited the $25,000,000 when her father died.”
“Oh,” HRAD said, “I remember hearing about that.”
Aunt Sam continued. “I’ve had people who thought I was her stalking me! And I thought you were them. So that’s why I ran. But then Suede, here–”
Suede grinned.
“–caught up with me and explained who you all are. I’m really sorry.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” said Linz. “I’d be running too!”
“By the way…” Aunt Sam looked over at Peter. “You know when you thought one of the other girls was trying to hold your hand?”
Peter’s face turned pink. “Yeah?”
“That was me,” smiled Aunt Sam. “I was trying to get past the boxes before you, and I accidentally brushed your hand.”
Peter gave a very un-Peter-like high-pitched laugh. “Oh, that’s OK!”
I rolled my eyes at Kris. “Men…”

“New Zealand!” ~PK~ exclaimed. “It’s so pretty!”
“Huddle, people!” I drew out my camera and took a group picture. “Great! I’ll post it on the forum when I get home!”
“Hey–look!” HRAD pointed at the crowd below us. “Look at that girl with that sign.”
“‘Forum members’,” Faithful2thecall read outloud. “Do you think she means us?”
“She must!” Elisabeth waved wildly. The girl waved back.
“That’s Sparkling4Him!” PinkQT squealed.
We rushed off the ship and elbowed our way to her.
“Hi, everyone!” said Sparkling. “I thought I’d find you all here!”
Kris gave her a hug. “It’s so good to see you!”
Sparkling’s eyes twinkled. “We need to hurry now, or we’ll miss the wedding.”
“Wedding?” asked Suede. “Who’s wedding?”
“Oooooh,” Aunt Sam exclaimed. “I almost forgot–Alli’s getting married today!”
“Come on, everyone,” said Sparkling. “Just follow me….”
Sparkling led us to a church and told us to seat ourselves. “I’ll see you later.”
A few moments later the bridal party was walking down the aisle. Sparkling winked at us as she glided past.
Then the wedding march began. We stood, and Alli entered the doorway.
Linz gasped. “She’s beautiful!”
“And her dress!” Elisabeth sighed. “So lovely.”
Alli’s face lit up at the sight of a young man at the end of the aisle.
Faithful2thecall sniffed loudly. “So romantic…”
Suede cleared his throat several times.
Peter jerked at his collar.
The ceremony had us spellbound. And then the minister was saying, “You may kiss your bride.”
We cheered loudly and clapped.
“That was the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever seen,” HRAD remarked.
Aunt Sam nodded her agreement.
“Let’s greet the bride and groom!” said ~PK~.

“It was so beautiful!” HRAD gushed as she hugged Alli. “And you look–just—”
“Radiant,” HPA finished.
“Yes! Radiant.”
Alli laughed happily. “Thanks!” She took her new husband’s hand. “It was such a surprise to see you all. I’d love to chat more, but we should probably visit with the other guests. Thanks so much for coming!”
“Bye!”
“Congratulations!”
“See you later, Alli!”
“Good-bye!”
“It was nice meeting you, Ben!”
Elisabeth suddenly grabbed Sparkling’s arm. “Is that–?”
A young pregnant woman–who looked awfully familiar–waved.
“PrincessHy!” gasped Kris. “I thought you lived in New Guinea.”
“Australia,” Hy corrected with a grin. “I came over for the wedding!”
“Hi, Hy!” Suede called.
Aunt Sam jabbed him. “Do you and Sparkling want to come with us?”
I added, “We’re trying to find Wan–ah, all the other members.”
Hy nodded. “OK–Will’s at work, so I don’t have to go home quite yet.”
“It sounds great,” Sparkling agreed. “Let me tell Alli good-bye real quick.”
A few minutes later we were exiting the church and walking down the street.
“How are we going to cross the ocean this time?” I whispered to PinkQT.
PinkQT shrugged. “Maybe we’ll water ski.”

Gwenna Lorenz

Sprites in a Clearing- Chapter 1 part 2

Sleep was her only peace.

She’d lain in her bed for hours that night, taking double doses of the sleeping pills her mother stocked in the cabinet for rough nights. Only in that perfect bliss was she free from the torment.

Torture.

Tears.

It was far into the morning when Claire had the guts to crawl out of her bed. She had quickly folded her covers back up behind her, and hesitantly took a step. She didn’t move past that step, she just stood there, waiting for the voices to come like they did yesterday morning. Her face eased from its cringe as she realized with shock that nothing would happen just by walking. Stepping slowly over the polished floors, Claire stared at herself in the mirror. Her long blond hair went down to the end of her ribcage, silken and straight. Bright blue eyes were a sunny day gone wrong, with dark circles underlying them. Disdain spread across her features, pulling her small pink lips into a slight frown. She hated her reflection. Why couldn’t she look like the others in her family? With sharper features and dark hair, they all almost seemed like clones. She shut her eyes, not wanting to look at the thing she hated about herself the most. When she peered open her eyes, she turned her head towards her bed, but caught glimpse of something else in the mirror. Her head swerved around, snapping to look at the glass. Though her eyes widened with fear and shock, this creature’s did not.

 A creature with twisted features stood staring at her. Its ears were bent out and pointed at the ends and its hair a pale white sheet of satin falling little past her ribs. Bright green eyes were ringed with gold, and the creature’s body was similar to Claire’s, small and feminine, but this had toned muscles that spoke eternal strength. Claire’s eyes took in everything, even the small points at the end of every tooth that creature used in its ugly grin.

“Claire, Claire, Claire. Why don’t you learn early this time? You can’t get away; we’re not going to stop. Just put an end to this miserable pain you’re in and take your own life, so we don’t have too.” Its voice was deep and mellow, as if it had no real tone to it. Claire noticed with horror that its tongue was smooth and fluid as it spoke, and seemed to run the words together, yet each syllable was spoken with extreme clarity. This was a creature of contradictions, Claire’s conscious told her as the meaning of the creature’s words hit her. No breath came to her lungs, yet she remembers opening her mouth and a very odd sound coming out, as if she were screaming. She knew no more.

Claire clutched her blankets as she sat stark upright in her bed. Her breath was heavy and hot as she gasped for air. Sweat drenched her body as she looked around the room in panic. Everything was how it should be in the outside world. The sun shone in through the window to her left on the wall behind her. Her art easel stood with a stool in front of it, folded open to a clean page. Her beanie bag sat undisturbed in front of her mini-T.V. Her door was shut and locked, just like how she kept it that night. Claire blinked and looked back at her easel. She didn’t remember painting in it yet. She crawled out of her bed, the thought that everything so far was just a bad dream dancing joyfully in her head. Walking over, she grabbed the edge of the paper flipped over. Hesitation stirred her for a moment, and the fleeting fear of what was on the paper was soon banished by the rational part of her brain. She flipped it back onto the front of the page and stood in stark horror. The picture was obviously of something horribly gore, with dashes of brown and tan peach slurred in odd shapes. Claire squinted her eyes as she tried to make out what the peach blobs were past the blood-red and black slashed as the background. Recognition dawned on her, and soon the bile rose in her throat. She covered her mouth before the vomit could make its way out. Panic encircled her as she rushed out of her room and into the bathroom next door. The toilet lid was thrown back just in time as Claire couldn’t hold in the vile tasting stomach fluid anymore. She vomited as flashes of the picture stood in her mind. Her family…gutted and wrenched onto large trunks of wood. Impelled they were, faces stretched in an agonizing look, as if they were still breathing, and were screaming for their lives. Another flow came out at the memory, although she could remember eating nothing for a whole day now. Tears started to roll down her face, and a knock came on the door frame to the bathroom. Claire looked up pathetically, choking on her sobs. Her mother’s eyes brimmed with tears, and as she kneeled down beside Claire, she wrapped her arms around her.

“I’m so sorry…” Claire’s mom wept quietly as she held her hysterical child. “I’m so sorry…”

.               .               .

Hi penguins!

I know this was announced on YouTube yesterday and the trailer was put onto the page, but a trailer for Curse of the Were Puffle part 2 is out! Here it is!

I didn’t annouce this yesterday because I wanted to show you some art for it!

This image is right at the begining of the film! Also, a friend of mine, Toa Mallow, has agreed to help me with this film! He will play Elvis Waddle Bottom, a mad scientist. Oh, I need to tell Toa Mallow that the links for Hypercam2 and other things are now on the downloads page under make a video. (He is going to begin making his own videos I think.) I will be doing a recording session soon, and I will need you! More info on that soon…

Waddle On!

~Lard Beak~

Editor’s note: This is an in-depth perspective into what it means to not just walk between the gender binary, but embrace and curl up inside of it. Although many transgender people in the United States struggle to forge an identity in a two-gendered society, this is a story that explores the process of gender exploration and what that means. Theories and perspectives of fully transitioning are lightly touched on but not fully explained in this article, so please keep in mind that for many transgender folks it is a necessary process to complete in order to feel like they can truly express who they are.

This is part 2 in a series of 4.

This is a story about more than just boys and girls.

It’s the mid-1980s in a Southern California school district. The high school girls smoke at the edges of campus and apply make-up in bathroom mirrors, the middle school boys throw paper airplanes in math class and eat bugs during recess, the elementary school girls cut out construction paper hearts and write out their multiplication tables.

In kindergarten class, little boys and little girls are getting ready for their chaperoned lunches by lining up against the wall in their neatly separated genders: boys with boys, and girls with girls. Except, one mousey-haired little girl is standing with the boys. The kindergarten teacher thinks she must be confused.

“Kerry, the boys and the girls are lining up separately,” she says.  “Get in the girls’ line.”

“But I don’t belong there!” the little girl replies, staying in the little boys’ line.

“You’re a girl, go in the girl’s line,” says the teacher again.

The little girl refuses again, and the teacher repeatedly asks her to move. This little girl knows she is in the right line and that the teacher is mistaken.

“I got very irritated in the early parts of kindergarten,” says Kerry Halloday, CSU communication graduate student. She didn’t want to go play with “those strange other people,” as she puts it, who were wearing pink and squealed and didn’t play with bugs. “They were obviously not who I belonged with.”

Gender is a social construct about more than just boys and girls. According to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and World Health Organization, this is separate from our concept of biological sex, which refers to the physical characteristics our bodies possess and the social implications of those. In the United States’ society, it is common for girls (female-bodied) to be socialized into roles that are culturally defined as feminine, and boys (male-bodied) into roles that are masculine.

Halloday was socialized  like the rest of her female-bodied peers, but says she feels most comfortable when surrounded by people whom she relates to most—men. If she had to be categorized, she says she identifies as the gender of androgynous or one of the guys.

“Not male,” she clarifies, “but one of the guys.” Although she  prefers to use female pronouns.

Part of her desire of this stems from practicality, she says. However, many transgender folks prefer to go by the pronouns that correspond to the gender they identify with; some like to go with both by inter-changing them; others prefer using androgynous or revolutionary new gender-neutral terms such as “hir,” “ze” and “zir.”

Androgyny as a third gender means gender ambiguity—or possessing both masculine and feminine gender characteristics. Sometimes androgyny is right in the middle between a dimension that stretches from masculine to feminine. In the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (GLBTIQ) community, genderqueer is also a common term for those who feel that their gender identities do not correspond to the biological attributes of the bodies they were born with; the biological attributes that outside society often associates with assigned gender roles and identities.

Continued in Part 3.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Chapter 6

SUNRISE

The air was cold and crisp.  The sun was just beginning to peak over the mountains, lighting up the sky with shades of pink and orange.  Russell stood in the courtyard admiring the sight.  He often enjoyed watching the changing colors of the sky.

Such simple pleasures were a unique diversion from the weight of life.

There was no time for such things now; Russell had a job to do.  He couldn’t let himself get distracted.  He had to think.  It seemed he always got distracted at the worst times.  It was difficult to set his mind to rest.  The wheels had been churning away through the night as he scoured the grounds outside the research facility.  He needed some indication of what had happened two nights ago during the mysterious break-in.  After allowing himself a short break, he stared down at the dirt.  The burden of responsibility was crushing his will.  It seemed he had barely enough to save himself.  For the moment, his efforts went to the unnecessary task of subduing personal anxiety.

In need of a more constructive pursuit, he turned and continued walking alongside the perimeter fence.  This was now his third circuit around, but maybe the morning light would illuminate something new.  Maybe the intruders would have left some evidence: a hole in the fence, tracks, perhaps footprints.

The dim light of the morning was becoming brighter.  Long shadows sprang from each rock, each blade of grass, and from him as well.

The early-morning walk along the fence reminded him of his time in training.  Thinking back, he remembered feeling the world held so much promise for him.  For a young soldier, the world was just another problem that needed to be solved.  That was before the world became more complex, and its problems clouded.  His family came along, then his career.  Decisions were no longer handed to him, but expected of him.

In a sense, his world was actually less complicated now.  There were more boundaries, fewer options, fewer possibilities.  Reality always had a way of trumping the imagination.

Russell stopped walking for a moment as he considered the thought, then he resumed.

When he reached the end of the compound, he looked up at the fence.  It stood approximately ten feet high and lined with razor wire at the top.  No one would have made it over the top.

Off into the distance Russell could hear a buzzing slowly approaching.  He looked up and spotted a plane getting closer and closer to the compound, flying very low to the ground.  It had to be landing at the airstrip.  Odd that he hadn’t been told about visitors.

He turned back to the fence and continued walking its length.  He had yet to find a place where the intruders could have crawled in or out.  Damn, how had they gotten in?  He pulled out his radio, and checked in.  “Tony.  North side clear… again.”

“Got you,” responded Tony.

Russell reached the end of the first length of fence and turned to check the second length.  This was near the edge of the cliff, where the quiet lake became a massive wall of concrete.  He looked out towards it and something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.  He turned to take a second look.  There were wood planks lined up in the dirt.  Why would there be wood out here at all…?  Russell took a few steps forward.  The wood planks were definitely covering something up.  Russell sprinted the last few yards certain that he had found the intruders entrance.  He slid one plank aside.  The planks covered a hole in the ground, an entrance.  He removed a plank, and another, slowly revealing the hidden place.  Once he revealed the opening, he studied it.  There was a ladder which lead from the top of the opening down to the bottom, which he estimated was a good ten feet down.  He couldn’t see anything else down there.

The only way to know for sure would be to go down.  He grabbed his flashlight and shined it down into the hole.  Nothing to worry about.

Flipping off his flashlight, he clipped it to his belt.  He took a deep breath and grabbed a hold of the ladder.  He placed his foot on the first rung and felt for stability, then followed with the other foot.  Lower and lower, he climbed; the space became darker and darker as he descended.  Finally, he touched bottom.  Unclipping his flashlight from his belt again, he flipped it on.  Slowly he turned, scanning.  The concrete walls were reinforced, or had been at some point.  Now they were rusted, even crumbling in some parts.  He began to walk through the manmade hallway, scanning ahead for any sign of trouble.  Water dripped somewhere in the distance as Russell slowly made his way down the hallway.  It was quiet, and he couldn’t hear anything except for the sounds of his own footsteps and the dripping water echoing off of the walls.

The sound of water changed from dripping to flowing to pouring, and then to roaring.  It grew louder, and the hallway became damp.  As he reached the end, a smell hit his nostrils.  It was a foul smell, the smell of… this couldn’t be a good sign.  He rounded the corner slowly.  He saw an opening, down onto some kind of spillway for the dam.  With the light from his flashlight, he could see the water rushing down.  Again that smell wafted across his nose.  He turned slowly to peer into a dark corner of the cave.  A man laid there face down, unmoving.  The smell was definitely coming from this man.  Russell crept closer holding his breath to withstand the smell.  He toed the body with his boot, and it flopped over loosely.  The rotting empty face stared up at him and he had another flashback to his service days.  The man wasn’t recognizable, but what Russell did recognize was the uniform.  It looked just like the one he was wearing.  The corpse was already quite decayed.  Much of the flesh had already melted away.  Russell guessed it might have been there between a few days to a couple of weeks, although he didn’t know what affect the extra moisture might have had on the man’s decomposition.  The smell was tolerable, so perhaps it had been a while.  He bent closer to examine.  He recognized the name on the tag.  This was the previous Head of Security.  Both Wilson and Antonio had said this man disappeared.  Something was fishy; how did this guy end up down here, dead?  Russell looked around the concrete cave.  The flashlight revealed cans of food; some empty.  There was bottled water, and a makeshift bed.  Was he living down here?  Why? Why would someone run away from their responsibility, then set up camp underneath it?

Russell reached for his radio.  He pressed the button, “Tony…”  Only static.  “Tony, do you copy…”  Again no response.  Hmm…no radio signal.  He turned back to the body, still lying where he had turned him.  “I guess we’re both rather fucked aren’t we?”  Russell turned back to the opening of the cave…  “Well, this is a dead end.  Sorry for the pun, buddy.”  He turned back to the body.  “Why is it, that every time I think I’m getting close to an answer, I come to find out that I’m wrong.  I’m always wrong and I don’t like it.”  The body continues to lay there motionless.  Russell shakes is head.  “Now look at me, I’m talking to a dead body.  I’m just a real piece of work.”  He rubbed his hands over his face.

“Do you think I’ll crack too, and then end up like you?  It might be nice to finally get some rest.”