North Carolina has received national attention because of Amendment 1. There has been soooo much coverage on this matter, that I thought it would be overkill to write a post on it…but since the latest poll data suggests that there are still more Amendment 1 supporters than there are opposers…I figured my 2 cents may actually make a difference. A poll done by Public Policy Polling, on May 1, shows that 55% of people polled still plan to vote in favor of the Amendment, while only 43% plan to vote against it. Another poll done by the Civitas Institute, conducted April 30 through May 2, supports the finding that there are more supporters of the Amendment. They asked register voters, “Do you support or oppose a constitutional amendment that says: “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State?” The responses are as follows:

DEMOCRATIC/UNAFILLIATED VOTERS IN DEM PRIMARY

48% Total Support

44% Total Oppose

41% Strongly Support

7% Somewhat Support

6% Somewhat Oppose

38% Strongly Oppose

7% Don’t Know/ No Opinion (DO NOT READ)

1% Refused (DO NOT READ)

REPUBLICAN/UNAFILLIATED VOTERS IN REP PRIMARY

78% Total Support

15% Total Oppose

72% Strongly Support

7% Somewhat Support

3% Somewhat Oppose

12% Strongly Oppose

6% Don’t Know/ No Opinion (DO NOT READ)

I truly believe one reason why there are so many supporters is because North Carolina citizens do not understand what supporting this Amendment really entails. On election day, this is how the Amendment will read on your ballot:

If this amendment passes then it will have the effect of amending Article 14 of the North Carolina Constitution, by adding Section 6. Marriage, which will read as follows: “Marriage between one man and one woman is the ONLY domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.”

For those of you who didn’t catch it the first time…read it again. “Marriage” is the ONLY “domestic legal union” that shall be valid in the state of NC. So what does a “domestic legal union” really mean?? No one really knows because this is not a legal term and it has not yet been defined…or in other words, the term is vague and overbroad. Litigation over the meaning of this phrase could take YEARS to resolve because it has never been used in any prior NC statutory law or court holdings. In fact, this phrase has never been interpreted in any courts in any other states!! Because this phrase is so unclear, this amendment not only affects same-sex couples, this amendment could also affect any unmarried heterosexual couple as well.

For an amendment that is so unclear…it’s affects could be devastating to NC’s unmarried couples. It could have the effect of invalidating domestic partnership insurance benefits, making domestic violence even more harmful, harm the best interest of a child to unmarried parents, and limiting protections for unmarried couples. It may also have the effect of limiting economic growth to NC, which in turn could affect jobs. And I won’t even go into arguments of discrimination against a minority group or what this could do to the rise of hate crimes against homosexuals.

This amendment could invalidate domestic partnership insurance benefits. Four local governments, the Town of Tarrboro, Town of Chapel Hill, City of Durham, and County of Orange, offers insurance benefits to both same-sex and heterosexual domestic partners and the County of Durham, City of Greensboro and County of Mecklenburg offers insurance benefits to only same-sex couples. Due to the wording in this amendment, the domestic partners benefits could be invalidated and it could prevent future benefits from being given to domestic partners, homosexual or straight.

This amendment could have a huge impact on how the courts view domestic violence.

North Carolina Statute 50B-1, Domestic Violence, states:

(b) For purposes of this section, the term “personal relationship” means a relationship wherein the parties involved:

(1) Are current or former spouses;

(2) Are persons of opposite sex who live together or have lived together;

(3) Are related as parents and children, including others acting in loco parentis to a minor child, or as grandparents and grandchildren. For purposes of this subdivision, an aggrieved party may not obtain an order of protection against a child or grandchild under the age of 16;

(4) Have a child in common;

(5) Are current or former household members;

(6) Are persons of the opposite sex who are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship. For purposes of this subdivision, a dating relationship is one wherein the parties are romantically involved over time and on a continuous basis during the course of the relationship. A casual acquaintance or ordinary fraternization between persons in a business or social context is not a dating relationship.

Because the statute affords protections to unmarried couples, you would hope that this will not change if Amendment 1 passes, but if Ohio (which passed a similar amendment) is any indication, then Amendment 1 could limit protections only to victims who had been married to their abusers. It took THREE years before the Ohio Supreme Court decided that their domestic violence protections did not violate their constitutional amendment and before this decision was made, there were about 27 dismissals and reversals of convictions ordered by the lower courts, because the state felt they could not extend domestic violence protections to unmarried victims.

This amendment could harm the best interest of a child conceived by unmarried parents. The Catholic Voice of NC (supporters of Amendment 1), states that the government should be involved in marriage to protect children. In fact, the opposite could happen. If this amendment passes, then a judge may view a same-sex or unmarried couple as having a negative impact on a child and because of this, limit custody, visitation rights and prevent adoptions. And as stated earlier…if unmarried couples lose insurance through their job because of their unmarried status, then this will also mean more children will lose their health insurance benefits.

This amendment limits protections for unmarried couples. Currently, unmarried couples can provide protections for their partner, such as with a power of attorney and a living will. But if Amendment 1 gets passed, then courts could decide that these documents recognize a “domestic legal union” between unmarried couples, which would be considered unconstitutional.  This in turn, can invalidate wills, trusts, hospital visitation, and medical decision-making between unmarried couples, as well as same-sex ones.

This amendment could limit economic growth in NC. President Obama, former President Clinton, and Senator Kay Hagan have all urged North Carolinians to vote AGAINST this amendment because it could turn away potential businesses and prevent NC from keeping good business and entrepreneurs in this state. On September 12, 2011, more than 75 CEOs signed a letter asking state officials to not approve this amendment. If this amendment passes, there will be at least 75 unhappy CEOs of companies, who are operating in the state of NC. If they decide to leave NC, the job loss will be devastating.

And I changed my mind…I am going to take up some more of your time and argue that Amendment 1 will also further discriminate against a minority group and justify hate crimes. Because the truth is, some people are going to hate gays the same way they hate blacks or foreigners, etc. but the last thing you want to do is give them a law that is going to support their prejudicial ways. Case in point: NC pastor Sean Harris, who advocates using violence to prevent children from becoming gay…seriously?!

I’m sure this post may not make any difference to some people. But if it informed one person, then it was worth spending 2 hours writing on a Saturday night (#nerdforlife). Don’t forget to vote Tuesday, May 8th!!!!

Please visit these sites for more information (in the order they appear in this post):

Public Policy Polling. http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2012/05/marriage-amendment-still-leads-by-14.html

Civitas Institute. http://www.wwaytv3.com/2012/05/03/poll-nc-marriage-amendment-has-strong-lead-final-week

Ballot Pedia. NC Carolina Same-Sex Marriage (May 2012). http://www.ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/North_Carolina_Same-Sex_Marriage,_Amendment_1_(May_2012)

The News & Record, Marriage amendment redundant and vague (April 30, 2012). http://www.news-record.com/content/2012/04/27/article/marriage_amendment_redundant_and_vague

Potential Legal Impact of the Proposed Domestic Legal Union Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution (Nov. 8, 2011). http://www.law.unc.edu/documents/faculty/marriageamendment/dlureportnov8.pdf

Protect all NC families, the harmful truth about Amendment 1. http://www.protectallncfamilies.org/the-truth

The Catholic Voice of NC. http://catholicvoicenc.org/ncmarriagefaq-finalon12-1-11.pdf

Indy Weekly, Bill Clinton makes two presidents against Amendment 1 (May 5, 2012). http://www.indyweek.com/citizen/archives/2012/05/05/bill-clinton-makes-two-presidents-against-amendment-1

Wikipedia, Recognition of same-sex unions in North Carolina. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recognition_of_same-sex_unions_in_North_Carolina#cite_note-amendment_one-2

The Huffington Post, North Carolina Pastor Sean Harris: Parents should “punch” their gay acting children , (May 2, 2012). http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/01/north-carolina-pastor-sea_n_1468618.html

I couldn’t think of a proper way to lead into the video above so I choose instead to lead with the video. I watched Hank’s latest Vlogbrothers video when it was posted Friday, and I want to start by saying that I agree with a lot of what Hank had to say.

Hank’s video, in conjunction with the Pastor Sean Harris news story inspired this weeks blog entry.

I can’t remember now exactly when I watched the CNN report on Pastor Sean Harris, who is a Pastor in North Carolina, but it was within the last couple of days. He is the Pastor that recently gave a Sermon in which he condemned homosexuality and advocated enforcing ‘proper’ gender roles in children by saying that one should “punch” a boy that acts effeminate and “crack that wrist” if he holds it limp.

While in the article that I read today Harris insists that he was speaking figuratively, and admits that he should have been more careful with his word choice, I can’t help but feel unsatisfied because even with a different use of words the intention is still there. Now, I will admit that I haven’t heard the whole sermon, and so the portion I am aware of has been taken out of context, but this kind of language doesn’t fit in a sermon, at least not in my book.

The first piece of scripture that came to my mind upon the discovery of the media that I’ve referenced above was Luke 6:37-38 which reads as follows:

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will be forgiven. Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

It seems to me that there is a fairly vocal segment of the Christian community that tends to surface offering judgment and condemnation when it comes to ‘issues’ such as gay marriage. But much like Hank Green, I am baffled by such a response because as a Christian myself, I read the scripture above as an indication to leave the judgment to God. Judgment is his responsibility, while mine is to love my neighbor.

Later, in the book of Luke, specifically Luke 10:27 the following is written:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself.

Love your neighbor. This is important.

So, after Jesus says that we are to love our neighbor, he is asked who qualifies as a neighbor, leading him to recount the parable of the Good Samaritan.

The parable itself can be found in Luke 10:30-36, but essentially it’s about a man that is robbed, beaten and left for dead. Two people come across him on their journeys, a Priest and a Levite, but each of them intentionally pass him by. A Samaritan was the next to come upon him, and rather than leave him for dead, the Samaritan shows mercy by not only caring for his wounds, but also by transporting him to a nearby inn and paying the innkeeper to continue to care for him.

The Samaritan, by showing mercy, is the neighbor to the injured man. As Christians, we are called to be like the Samaritan, not the Priest or Levite. We are called to be the neighbor who holds judgment and offers love.

This is why I find it hard to stomach remarks such as Pastor Sean Harris’s, because whether he is truly speaking figuratively or not, his words do not come from a place of love or compassion. His words do not withhold judgment or condemnation.

The final piece of scripture that came to my mind when I began composing this post was 1 John 1:8-9 which goes like this:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Many Christians contend that homosexuality is a sin. I don’t plan on delving into that here, but I do want to point to the scripture above as a reminder that there is not one of us that is devoid of sin.

As long as we live in this world we are guilty of one sin or another, and in the eyes of God sin is sin. There is no hierarchy. One sin does not rate higher than another, all sin is equally wrong in the eyes of God.

But the beauty of God’s love and mercy is that all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and it’s yours. There are no bounds to his love, no prerequisites.

So I guess what I am ultimately saying here, is that it’s hard for me to see politicians and religious figures use God as a reason for casting judgment, especially when he calls us to exercise mercy and to forgo judgment.

I think that it is wrong to deny gay individuals the right to marry those that they love, and it is wrong to advocate (even figuratively) beating those that exhibit effeminate behaviors, in the name of God.

God calls us to follow the example of the Samaritan, and I don’t know about you but I plan to live up to that calling.

DFTBA

Today is Monday May 7^th of 2012. A week has passed since Pastor Sean Harris gave his sermon many have said is filled with hatred and vileness. I sit here and I try to find something to write about for this blog and of course most people would say “Write about Harris”. I don’t want to though, I think the more attention this man gets the more others like him are going to take up arms and attack the community.

But, I do owe it to the organization and those who support it to write something on it and state the reasons why The Alliance was not part of the huge protest on Sunday down the street from Harris’s church.

On the first of May I was called by a reporter to ask if I had read the article being posted on facebook along with listening to the audio clips. I had not at that time because I was extremely busy and had not had any time to check much on facebook. So he sent me the link, of which I read and listened to that night when I returned home.

I was sickened, I was so disgusted and angry that I had to take some time to calm myself before responding, or else I would have said some very demeaning words and probably have put myself and The Alliance in a very bad situation.

I have had words of hate spat at me from many kinds of people, and yes some of those were of the clergy. However, I have never, ever heard anyone like that talk about laying harmful hands on any child in that age range.

Here is a link for those of you who have not heard, or seen anything about this man (of which I would be totally surprised about) http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/anti-gay-pastor-parents-must-squash-like-a-cockroach-the-gay-out-of-kids/politics/2012/05/01/38837

There are hundreds and I mean hundreds of links, articles, and videos about what this man said to a church full of people. About this time you can google the man’s name and find it all.

Now we have had hate crimes of people in the LGBTQ community. People bashing in the heads of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people and leaving them to die a lonely painful death. We have had young, and old alike kill themselves because of the way they were treated by the public. This is the first time I have heard anyone condone, or excuse me, suggest child abuse against someone so young.

Being a student of psychology I know that children of that age are exploring themselves and the world around them. They do not always “act” the gender they were put into at birth. I also know that a lot of people have a problem with that, they cannot stand to see their little boy playing with Barbie dolls or “gasp” putting on a tutu. So they are punished in some form or another. Some parents have admonished their child so badly that they certainly get the idea that anything different from what “society“thinks you should be doing is bad and not tolerated. Some parents have actually gone through the act of physically punishing them resulting in deaths, or at the very least years and years of therapy.

Right now there is so much anger and hatred being spewed across this state because tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow all of the state of North Carolina gets to vote on whether we are going to have discrimination put into our constitution. Ok, let me step back a little and look at it from the other side. The amendment keeping same gender couples from marrying. Ok fine, tomorrow will be the day that the state of North Carolina will (all of the residents who can vote) vote on whether a same- gender couple can ever be married, or recognized as a legal married couple in this state. Umm… Where was the vote on whether other people could get married? When did Mr. Smith ask the state to allow him to marry Ms. Jones and make her Mrs. Smith? Where!?!

Ok forgive me if this post today seems a little scattered. There is just so so much to talk about here. Besides all of the things that Amendment One can and will do to all citizens of the state, there is also the sermon Harris gave.

Did you read it yet? Here let me help you out.

“Now one of the problems is this creeping into your theology, into our thinking, into our

world view. So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and

instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, “Man up, son, get that dress off

you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do,” you get out the camera

and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to

YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid

is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.

You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male.  And when your

daughter starts acting to Butch you reign her in.  And you say, “Oh, no, sweetheart.  You

can play sports. Play them to the glory of God.  But sometimes you are going to act like a

girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are

going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.”

You say, “Can I take charge like that as a parent?”

Yeah, you can. You are authorized. I just gave you a special dispensation this morning to

do that.”

Ok so there has already been dozens of articles and interviews and one huge protest about this part of his sermon. I was even quoted as saying that “We have our very own Westboro Bapist Church forming in Fayetteville” and I stand by that.

Why? Because you need to listen or read the entire sermon. Not only does he talk about child abuse and encouraging it (though he says he does not) He talks about Muslims and them breeding so fast that they will take over. He talks about homosexuality in that we are sick and twisted and cannot possibly have the ability to work through a marriage, insinuating that it is too hard for us to work through it because we are not with Christ.

“Ultimately the question is: How important is it for us to stay married? I mean, when can I

just dismiss her? I mean, what does it take to give me the freedom to say, “Enough”?  I

mean, we have worked hard, but we are done. You can’t seem to figure out eggs over

medium.  They are either too easy or they are too hard. And I have had enough.  Is that an

acceptable idea? Or when do we stop working it out?  And please let’s recognize that

staying married is plain out hard work.  If you are not married, ask somebody who is

married.  It is hard work.  Take two sinners, jam them into the same house and say, “Love

each other and live together,” and you have got nothing but work.”

“And the bottom line is this. Any marriage in which they are on the road to divorce one or

more of the partners has got a hard heart. You take two soft hearts and you can work

things out. Two soft hearts can sit down. Two {?} believers can sit down. Two people

who are born again and led by the Holy Spirit can sit down and work it out. But you take

one or more people who harden their heart and you have got a problem right there. You

have got a problem. Heard heartedness.”

So because we (homosexuals, or transgenders) who are in a committed relationship are going to not be able to stay together and have the ability to work through the hard times because we are not with Christ.

Ok so what about the couple who started the publishing Naid Press. Barbara Grier had two partners in her life. The first one she spent 20 years with. The second one who she started a life with in 1970s was with her until Grier died last year at the age of 78. Two partners.. two.. Can we say two? Ok one more than one, but I would say that that is a pretty long time to be with one and I am sure that all of those years weren’t fight free or conflict free and I am sure they had to work just as hard as anyone else and they did it. I don’t know what their personal faith was, frankly it does not matter. I have some really really personal views on some of this that I will save for my personal blog, go there if you want to see the personal side of me on this http://stormsilvermane.wordpress.com/

At any rate this man doesn’t just go after children or homosexuals or transgender people. He goes after people of other faiths as well and it just sickens me as a person and as a member of The Alliance.

So, why didn’t the Alliance participate in the big protest?

“As an organization that is NON-Reglious and NON-Political I feel as though the organization would be perceived as attacking religion itself by protesting the church. Even though the protest is ¼ mile from the church, it is about Pastor Sean Harris and his sermon at the church last Sunday. It is even about the congregation that supports his sermon. This does not mean that I believe that everyone in the congregation agrees with his sermon, but I did hear laughing and “Amens” during his heated sermon. This would indicate that the people supported his sermon.

Regardless, it is for the protection of this organization and maintaining the protections for any future members who have had issues with religion to feel safe coming to us for help. We have members who are atheists, humanists, Christian, Jewish, Wiccan, Native American and other faith or non faith basis. This organization is not based on religion; it is based on supporting, advocating and educating the LGBTQ community.

I had made a statement about Berean Bapist Church becoming Fayetteville’s own Westboro Bapist Church and it was published in the Fayetteville Observer. I stand by that statement and I have more to say.

This is our official statement on the subject of Pastor Sean Harris and others who believe his words are something to follow.

The Alliance does not support, nor condone Harris’s words or actions. We also do not believe his retraction was sincere. Members of the organization’s board have read the sermon and watched the sermon and have heard all of the demeaning and discriminatory remarks Harris made about gays, lesbians, transgenders, and Muslims. In his retraction he says he is sorry, but then turns around and says he didn’t say certain things. Yet, it is caught on paper and it is caught on audio and video recordings. So, no we do not believe it is sincere. The Alliance also believes that Harris needs to be held accountable for his words of hatred towards other groups. Whether this will happen or not is yet to be seen.

The Alliance is really working on trying to bring peaceful support, education and advocacy to the LGBT community. We are trying to do this in the most positive way possible. We have not nor do we intend to discourage any of the members of the board, or of the organization from going to the protest.

The Alliance has been committed, from its inception, to keeping our message and our presence here positive. We feel that participating in this protest as an organization goes against that positive message because the atmosphere surrounding this type of protest will most likely be negative and draw negative feelings and attention. We want to be a safe place for ANYONE, including members of Harris’ congregation, to come if they have sincere questions and are willing to sit down and have peaceful discussions surrounding LGBT issues. We feel that participating in this protest as an organization has the potential for alienating those who might be willing to take part in these open discussions and that is counterproductive to the goals we committed to when forming the Alliance.

The Alliance encourages its members to voice their opinions and do what they feel they need to in order to bring attention to injustice and discrimination. Some decisions must be personal decisions. The decision to participate or not in the protest against Berean Baptist Church is one of those personal decisions. We will support any of our members, regardless of the personal decision they make regarding this issue and this protest.”

That was our official statement that I posted to the facebook page for The Alliance and I am posting it here for others who do not follow us on facebook.

I feel The Alliance needs to focus its attention on more positive things now. Tomorrow the state will vote and the world will watch as another state decides who I can marry and when I can marry. Yet, the battle is not done we will continue to bring positive messages and support to this community and we will continue to be here for anyone, young, or older to help them get through the troubles they may face as they come to realize who they are. Regardless of the violent, hated, vile words that come from others.

Last week one of the top religious stories concerned Pastor Sean Harris of Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville who suggested that if your boy is acting girly, he needs corporal punishment.  You can watch a 2-minute video of the original statement at SFL. 

“Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk right over there and crack that wrist….Give him a good punch…”

At the same site is a link to a sermon audio where the pastor — after the news story had gone viral — issued a retraction.  You can access that audio here.

But there’s a couple of dots in this story that I haven’t seen people connecting.  One reader sent me a link to the original story at The Advocate, an LGBT news site.  (I asked him how he ended up there, and he assured me I don’t have anything to worry about.)  When I clicked the link, they had already done this follow up story about the retraction, but had added a new picture.

And that’s when the lights went on:

Yes, “No Greater Joy,” which just happens to be the same name of the organization of Michael and Debi Pearl, who just happen to be somewhat renown for their advocacy of rather severe corporal punishment for children who misbehave.

You can read about that at When Child Discipline Goes Too Far here at Thinking Out Loud, and later, Petition Launched to Stop Sales of To Train up a Child.   If you want to go outside this blog, there’s this story, and this story,

Now, in fairness, the t-shirt is actually connected to a retreat that took place at Sean’s church, Berean Baptist.  And it is a scripture reference to III John 1:4.  But why would you choose that name?  It has been somewhat tarnished, unless you just happen to be onside with the Pearl’s parenting doctrine. Possible answers:

1. Just a coincidence
2. Someone has read the Pearl’s materials and the name stuck either consciously or sub-consciously
3. There’s more than a direct connection

For those of us who know the Pearl’s story all too well, answers 2 and 3 become rather problematic, don’t you think? 

North Carolina has received national attention because of Amendment 1. There has been soooo much coverage on this matter, that I thought it would be overkill to write a post on it…but since the latest poll data suggests that there are still more Amendment 1 supporters than there are opposers…I figured my 2 cents may actually make a difference. A poll done by Public Policy Polling, on May 1, shows that 55% of people polled still plan to vote in favor of the Amendment, while only 43% plan to vote against it. Another poll done by the Civitas Institute, conducted April 30 through May 2, supports the finding that there are more supporters of the Amendment. They asked register voters, “Do you support or oppose a constitutional amendment that says: “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State?” The responses are as follows:

DEMOCRATIC/UNAFILLIATED VOTERS IN DEM PRIMARY

48% Total Support

44% Total Oppose

41% Strongly Support

7% Somewhat Support

6% Somewhat Oppose

38% Strongly Oppose

7% Don’t Know/ No Opinion (DO NOT READ)

1% Refused (DO NOT READ)

REPUBLICAN/UNAFILLIATED VOTERS IN REP PRIMARY

78% Total Support

15% Total Oppose

72% Strongly Support

7% Somewhat Support

3% Somewhat Oppose

12% Strongly Oppose

6% Don’t Know/ No Opinion (DO NOT READ)

I truly believe one reason why there are so many supporters is because North Carolina citizens do not understand what supporting this Amendment really entails. On election day, this is how the Amendment will read on your ballot: If this amendment passes then it will have the effect of amending Article 14 of the North Carolina Constitution, by adding Section 6. Marriage, which will read as follows: “Marriage between one man and one woman is the ONLY domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.”

For those of you who didn’t catch it the first time…read it again. “Marriage” is the ONLY “domestic legal union” that shall be valid in the state of NC. So what does a “domestic legal union” really mean?? No one really knows because this is not a legal term and it has not yet been defined…or in other words, the term is vague and overbroad. Litigation over the meaning of this phrase could take YEARS to resolve because it has never been used in any prior NC statutory law or court holdings. In fact, this phrase has never been interpreted in any courts in any other states!! Because this phrase is so unclear, this amendment not only affects same-sex couples, this amendment could also affect any unmarried heterosexual couple as well.

For an amendment that is so unclear…it’s affects could be devastating to NC’s unmarried couples. It could have the effect of invalidating domestic partnership insurance benefits, making domestic violence even more harmful, harm the best interest of a child to unmarried parents, and limiting protections for unmarried couples. It may also have the effect of limiting economic growth to NC, which in turn could affect jobs. And I won’t even go into arguments of discrimination against a minority group or what this could do to the rise of hate crimes against homosexuals.

This amendment could invalidate domestic partnership insurance benefits. Four local governments, the Town of Tarrboro, Town of Chapel Hill, City of Durham, and County of Orange, offers insurance benefits to both same-sex and heterosexual domestic partners and the County of Durham, City of Greensboro and County of Mecklenburg offers insurance benefits to only same-sex couples. Due to the wording in this amendment, the domestic partners benefits could be invalidated and it could prevent future benefits from being given to domestic partners, homosexual or straight.

This amendment could have a huge impact on how the courts view domestic violence.

North Carolina Statute 50B-1, Domestic Violence, states:

(b) For purposes of this section, the term “personal relationship” means a relationship wherein the parties involved:

(1) Are current or former spouses;

(2) Are persons of opposite sex who live together or have lived together;

(3) Are related as parents and children, including others acting in loco parentis to a minor child, or as grandparents and grandchildren. For purposes of this subdivision, an aggrieved party may not obtain an order of protection against a child or grandchild under the age of 16;

(4) Have a child in common;

(5) Are current or former household members;

(6) Are persons of the opposite sex who are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship. For purposes of this subdivision, a dating relationship is one wherein the parties are romantically involved over time and on a continuous basis during the course of the relationship. A casual acquaintance or ordinary fraternization between persons in a business or social context is not a dating relationship.

Because the statute affords protections to unmarried couples, you would hope that this will not change if Amendment 1 passes, but if Ohio (which passed a similar amendment) is any indication, then Amendment 1 could limit protections only to victims who had been married to their abusers. It took THREE years before the Ohio Supreme Court decided that their domestic violence protections did not violate their constitutional amendment and before this decision was made, there were about 27 dismissals and reversals of convictions ordered by the lower courts, because the state felt they could not extend domestic violence protections to unmarried victims.

This amendment could harm the best interest of a child conceived by unmarried parents. The Catholic Voice of NC (supporters of Amendment 1), states that the government should be involved in marriage to protect children. In fact, the opposite could happen. If this amendment passes, then a judge may view a same-sex or unmarried couple as having a negative impact on a child and because of this, limit custody, visitation rights and prevent adoptions. And as stated earlier…if unmarried couples lose insurance through their job because of their unmarried status, then this will also mean more children will lose their health insurance benefits.

This amendment limits protections for unmarried couples. Currently, unmarried couples can provide protections for their partner, such as with a power of attorney and a living will. But if Amendment 1 gets passed, then courts could decide that these documents recognize a “domestic legal union” between unmarried couples, which would be considered unconstitutional.  This in turn, can invalidate wills, trusts, hospital visitation, and medical decision-making between unmarried couples, as well as same-sex ones.

This amendment could limit economic growth in NC. President Obama, former President Clinton, and Senator Kay Hagan have all urged North Carolinians to vote AGAINST this amendment because it could turn away potential businesses and prevent NC from keeping good business and entrepreneurs in this state. On September 12, 2011, more than 75 CEOs signed a letter asking state officials to not approve this amendment. If this amendment passes, there will be at least 75 unhappy CEOs of companies, who are operating in the state of NC. If they decide to leave NC, the job loss will be devastating.

And I changed my mind…I am going to take up some more of your time and argue that Amendment 1 will also further discriminate against a minority group and justify hate crimes. Because the truth is, some people are going to hate gays the same way they hate blacks or foreigners, etc. but the last thing you want to do is give them a law that is going to support their prejudicial ways. Case in point: NC pastor Sean Harris, who advocates using violence to prevent children from becoming gay…seriously?!

I’m sure this post may not make any difference to some people. But if it informed one person, then it was worth spending 2 hours writing on a Saturday night (#nerdforlife). Don’t forget to vote Tuesday, May 8th!!!!

Please visit these sites for more information (in the order they appear in this post):

Public Policy Polling. http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2012/05/marriage-amendment-still-leads-by-14.html

Civitas Institute. http://www.wwaytv3.com/2012/05/03/poll-nc-marriage-amendment-has-strong-lead-final-week

Ballot Pedia. NC Carolina Same-Sex Marriage (May 2012). http://www.ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/North_Carolina_Same-Sex_Marriage,_Amendment_1_(May_2012)

The News & Record, Marriage amendment redundant and vague (April 30, 2012). http://www.news-record.com/content/2012/04/27/article/marriage_amendment_redundant_and_vague

Potential Legal Impact of the Proposed Domestic Legal Union Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution (Nov. 8, 2011). http://www.law.unc.edu/documents/faculty/marriageamendment/dlureportnov8.pdf

Protect all NC families, the harmful truth about Amendment 1. http://www.protectallncfamilies.org/the-truth

The Catholic Voice of NC. http://catholicvoicenc.org/ncmarriagefaq-finalon12-1-11.pdf

Indy Weekly, Bill Clinton makes two presidents against Amendment 1 (May 5, 2012). http://www.indyweek.com/citizen/archives/2012/05/05/bill-clinton-makes-two-presidents-against-amendment-1

Wikipedia, Recognition of same-sex unions in North Carolina. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recognition_of_same-sex_unions_in_North_Carolina#cite_note-amendment_one-2

The Huffington Post, North Carolina Pastor Sean Harris: Parents should “punch” their gay acting children , (May 2, 2012). http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/01/north-carolina-pastor-sea_n_1468618.html

Yeah, so. I’mma do that right now. But first – check it out! A pastor in North Caroline “didn’t say” it was okay to punch your kids when they’re acting “gay!”  In case my quotes made that confusing, Pastor Sean Harris  totally said that parents should hit their kids when they’re “dropping that limp wrist.” He says that he doesn’t endorse beating kids, but hey, some people lie. It happens. Either way, I haven’t seen someone backpedal so furiously since that one time I got super drunk on the “Pedal Pub” in Minneapolis.

“You. . . you shu’ up. . . it’s righ’y tigh’y, leffy. . . leffy. . . SHUT UP you’re not the boss of ME!” – Me, before vomiting, that one time.

What a relief, man. I was afraid that the bible did not support abusing my children when they act fruitier than Carmen Miranda’s hat.

Anyway, my stance – the Bible does not take any clearer a position on homosexuality than it does internet usage. Anyone who says that the Bible is “crystal clear” on the subject of homosexuality is, in my humble opinion, not researching this shit. I use the word “research” deliberately, because many people do not know that there is an argument against the sin nature of homosexuality. But there is.

Now, I have, in the past, mentioned that Jay Bakker got flack for taking a “radically inclusive” stance  that basically states that homosexuality is not a sin.Well, much of Jay Bakker’s position on  homosexuality is influenced by Rev. Mel White, who wrote this extremely helpful pamphlet about it. And while I do not feel that White has definitively answered the “gay” question once and for all, I think he presents data sufficient to cast doubt on the traditionally-iron-clad assumption that homosexuality is a sin.

Some people don’t see it that way, of course. The day after the article about the North Carolina “go ahead and beat your young flamers” pastor came out, Billy Graham made the news by publicly supporting Amendment One. Because he loves me, and he loves giving me things to poke fun at, Mr. Graham used my all time favorite catch phrase about the scripture.

“The Bible is clear — God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.”

“You guys BETTER be about to say grace or something. I’m just sayin’.”

What I find so funny about the phrase “the Bible is clear” is that it is never used about things that are actually clear. Nobody ever says, “Dude, stop murdering people, the Bible is clear on that.” Idolatry - that is a sin the Bible is crystal clear on. Not taking care of the poor is definitely poo-poo’d. These are things for which the above statement can be appropriately used.

But how clear is the Bible on the definition of marriage, Mr. Graham?

Okay, cool. That straightens it out, I guess.

Now, I’ve been accused of being a cynic, and I want to own up to that. In my cynical mind, I think the problem that most people (not just Christians) have with homosexuals is that the idea of two guys kissing is something that many people (not me) find gross. That image I put up, of the two guys holding hands? I almost put up an image of two men kissing. I didn’t because even while I’m putting a post that I know could generate controversy (among my literally dozens of readers) I didn’t want to include an image that might be too “offensive” to people.

But you know what? I really don’t care. Being “grossed out” is no excuse, and we should be grown-up enough to get over it. People’s lives can be broken by a hateful response to their sexual orientation, and no single organization in human history should be more responsible for loving and caring for people than the body of Christ. When that guy in North Carolina talks about punching your sons if they act in an effeminate manner, I’m not upset because he’s just some asshole. I’m upset because he’s an asshole pastor.

“I’m gonna set back the church fer decades, YEEEEE-HAWWW!!”

Honestly, it’s time like this that I wish I had a mega-blog – not because I have an ego (although God knows) but because I wish I could be a loud voice in speaking out against this kind of anachronistic nonsense. I wish that anyone cared how I feel about Sean Harris’s hate-filled sermon. I wish more people knew that there is good, solid room for doubt about how the Bible addresses homosexuality. If you don’t know why that is, and you didn’t read the link I put up about Mel White’s pamphlet, seriously, read his pamphlet.  Maybe you won’t agree with it one hundred percent, but it can’t hurt to see an opposing viewpoint, right? At least it could start a positive conversation.

And for the record, I don’t think that it’s as easy to get into Hell as some people believe it is – so I don’t think being on the wrong side of a theological argument is going to get anyone damned. But that being said, the Bible is important. If there is any possibility that you have understood something inaccurately, is there a good reason not to explore that further, maybe hear out the other side’s argument?

Even if you think it’s gross?

Just man up, it’s not that bad.

One last thought.

Yes, we’re all human. I know that to be human is to be broken. As Brandi often tells me, the Bible is the story of imperfect, finite human beings trying to relate to a perfect, infinite God. And I know that Sean Harris isn’t really a bad guy. Neither is Billy Graham. Both of them are people who have dedicated their lives to doing a very difficult job, and they are my brothers in the Body of Christ.

But here’s the thing – part of a brother’s job is to tell people when they are being an asshole. It’s especially important now, because all those little kids who might get their wrist “cracked” because it was “limp”, they’re my brothers and sisters, too. And I love them just as much.

So, Pastor Sean Harris – I love you, brother, but you have some reading to do.

You can start right here.

Sean Harris speaking with his congregation in NC.

Last sunday, Sean Harris, a pastor at Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, NC had a sermon targeting gay children and how they should be handled.
Watch the video here:

Sean Harris has lamely tried apologizing twice since his sermon was released and nobody is buying it, not the LGBT community and not anyone else who has something in their body that remotely resembles a heart. In his sermon he vehemently states when your son “starts acting a little girlish when he’s 4 years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying man up son, get that dress off of you, get outside and dig a ditch ‘cas that’s what boys do.” He continues to say how you should punch him after he starts acting like a female instead of uploading videos of him wearing dresses.

TMZ posted their own news and described that Harris “whipped himself into an anti-gay frenzy” during his sermon. http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/03/

pastor-sean-harris-homophobic-sermon-retraction/ Even the Digital Journal posted their thoughts through an Op-Ed, noting that the pastor “has been in the news a lot lately not for his work with the homeless or his sermons on, love thy neighbor and help the sick and poor. No, Pastor Sean Harris in the news because of a sermon he gave on Sunday May 1st to his congregation on homosexuality and what parents should do if they believe their child is going down the path to being a gay or lesbian.” http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/324239

Towleroad, ‘a site with homosexual tendencies’ also posted news on the matter:

Everyone seems to have an opinion about Pastor Sean Harris, and nobody is taking his side. Gay or straight. Does anyone think before they speak anymore? Here on out, being educated must come hand in hand with being open minded. When you hear this guy talking you’re wondering the entire time if he was brought up in a mad-house. I cannot emphasize enough how his words have turned blood into lava. Listening to his ‘sermon’ which should really be called his rant with gruly men yelling out their praises in the background, it’d be impossible to even laugh at his ignorance but only shake your head.

Once hearing about this North Carolina pastor conducting one of his Sunday sermon’s solely dedicated to (literally) bashing homosexuality can really make you follow his statements given in response to the negative feedback. In his most recent letter dedicated to his congregation: “By now you may know that my words, from Sunday morning’s sermon, about effeminate behavior in children are being completely taken out of context by those in the LGBT community. (Nearly every article is misquoting me.)” Now, if this doesn’t make it obvious that he thinks only the LGBT community would be bothered by this I’m not sure what else he could say. Oh, maybe this part: “As I emphasized in this sermon, as well as the week before, we must not be hateful toward those whose behavior is an abomination to God. But we also cannot compromise on what we believe the Bible teaches on all sexual perversions and immorality.” In his letter it’s so blatantly obvious that he’s battling himself in trying hard to not look like he’s not a raging child-beating lunatic and his true hatred for all gay children. Living in such a big country it is expected not everyone is on the same page. Sometimes there are people like this, a punch in the stomach, waking you up to realize not everyone is even in the same novel. We’ve got a long way to go it seems, until all 311,591,917 of us can agree that being human shouldn’t be this complicated.

We laughed, shared stories, and took a short walk.

Community is a big theme in Jackson’s work, this song, The Batty Boys Revenge, in particular.  

See my review of Jackson’s EP CD of Troy and my interview with him. 

The Batty Boys Revenge is a call to action, a song of strength, the taking back of an homophobic term, fists of poetry in notes, and standing for something. 

With  the recent brutal murder of gay man Daniel Zamudio, 24, in Chile, and the violent comments of hompbobic Baptist Pastor Sean Harris this week, The Batty Boys Revenge is needed greatly!

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Church Website

“Pastor” Sean Harris’s email:     sharris.bbc@gmail.com

Not satisfied? Tell church employees what you think of their leader.

Tell the Main Office of Liberty University’s School of Religion just what you think of their graduate down in Fayetteville: email.

Not sure what tone to take or what content to include? Maybe you need some inspiration, taken directly from the good “Pastor”‘s bio page:

‘Rash preaching,’ said Rowland Hill, ‘disgusts; timid preaching leaves poor souls fast asleep; bold preaching is the only preaching that is owned of God.’ ” If Pastor’s preaching can be categorized with any one word, “bold” would be that word.

Last week Dan Savage the founder of the It Get’s Better Campaign lashed out at the Bible and some of the students during an anti-bullying conference at a high school in Seattle. In his statements he clearly went over the line and became that which he most despises: A bully. In his statements Mr. Savage attacked the Bible, belittled the beliefs of others and used a slur to attack the students who disagreed with his statements by simply walking out. This is a transcript of the portion of the speech in question:

“We can learn to ignore the bullshit about gay people in the Bible the same way we have learned to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation. We ignore bullshit in the Bible about all sorts of things. The Bible is a radically pro-slavery document. Slave owners waived Bibles over their heads during the civil war and justified it.”

“If the Bible got the easiest moral question that humanity has ever faced wrong, slavery, what are the odds that the Bible got something as complicated as human sexuality wrong? 100 percent.”

Afterward, Savage remarked: “You can tell the Bible guys in the hall they can come back now because I’m done beating up the Bible. It’s funny as someone who is on the receiving end of beatings that are justified by the Bible, how pansy-ass some people react when you push back.”

While I vehemently disagree with Mr. Savage’s attack on the students because of their protest, I do believe that he can be forgiven. He has issued an apology for the “pansy-assed” comment saying it was “insulting, it was name-calling, and it was wrong. And I apologize for saying it.” Therefore, he gets a second chance. I have certainly spoken in the heat of a moment words I wished I could retract as soon as they left my mouth. I am sure you have too.

I also disagree strongly with Mr. Savage’s view of the Bible as I read it. I do however think that some things people have used the Bible to say and do are BS. And honestly when I think of the way the church has used and in some cases still uses the Bible as an excuse or even an encouragement to bully, hate and abuse the GLBT community as a whole and individual GLBT people I can easily figure out how  Mr. Savage ended up on a stage calling bulls%#t on the whole thing. Sometimes I actually want to stand up and join Dan Savage in calling BS for the way people use the Bible for purposes which I believe were never intended. After all, this is the same Bible that says that Jesus came not into the world to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved. This is the Bible that says  people will know we are Christians by our love. Today is a day I am going to call BS. Today I call BS on Pastor Sean Harris of the Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

Currently the state of North Carolina is in a battle over Amendment 1 to their state constitution which states in part:

Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.

This past Sunday was declared “Marriage Sunday” by Vote for Marriage NC, a political action committee. Their purpose for organizing the day was:

Marriage Sunday is an early voting awareness campaign focused on equipping churches and citizens to vote FOR the Marriage Protection Amendment during the 4/19-5/5 early voting window. Churches participating in Marriage Sunday are encouraged to preach a marriage themed sermon on April 29th, and encourage congregants to vote early on Monday April 30th.

This is the United States of America and this is the way we decide things here. We vote. I am for voting. The good people of North Carolina get to go to the polls and decide how they will define marriage in their state. What I am not for, what is complete BS, is the hatred and abuse that was spewed out in the name of my Lord Jesus and my God. I will not be silent. I teach my children to stand up and speak out in defense of the weak and the oppressed and today I will do the same thing.
http://www.goodasyou.org/player.swf

If you are unable to listen to the audio, here is a transcript (emphasis added):

So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, “Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do,” you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.
Can I make it any clearer? Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting to Butch you reign her in. And you say, “Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.”
You say, “Can I take charge like that as a parent?”
Yeah, you can. You are authorized. I just gave you a special dispensation this morning to do that.“

Well, you are going to need more than a special dispensation because Jesus authorizes you to do no such thing.

In fact, I would assert that parents treating their children in this way does not prevent one person who would have grown up to be gay to suddenly become heterosexual. Just ask any number of people in the GLBT community. I bet you can find many who were treated in exactly this fashion by their parents. My guess is that not only did it not stop them from becoming gay it also made them think that God didn’t love them, didn’t come to be near them, and doesn’t offer them salvation. All I know to say is, God forgive them for they know not what they do. Forgive me for the times I know not what I do. This has nothing to do with whether or not people have the right to believe whatever they want about homosexuality. It has to do with the fact that Jesus does not give you the option to hate, bully or abuse your child or anyone else ever. You don’t have that right, Sean Harris doesn’t have that right and Dan Savage doesn’t have that right. So far Dan Savage has apologized for bullying the kids, I wonder if we will ever hear an apology from Sean Harris? I hope so. I pray that the radical love of the Jesus who died for us all grips the hearts of Harris and Savage. Today I shout at the top of my lungs that it does and it will get better. Lord, let your Kingdom come.

Related articles

• Homosexuality and God: Conclusion (wordofawoman.com)
• Homosexuality & God: A Weekly Exploration (wordofawoman.com)
• Pray Away the Gay? (wordofawoman.com)
• The True Magic Kingdom (wordofawoman.com)

Jeremy Hooper of Good As You provides the audio and transcript (which apparently I can’t embed for some reason:)

http://www.goodasyou.org/player.swf

“So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, “Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do,” you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed. 
Can I make it any clearer? Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting to [sic] Butch you reign her in. And you say, “Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.” 
You say, “Can I take charge like that as a parent?” 
Yeah, you can. You are authorized. I just gave you a special dispensation this morning to do that.”

Where to even begin?

The call to violence is, obviously, the most glaring aspect: if a young male child, too young to even know of the stereotypical affectation of the limp wrist, happens to make this gesture, the father should break the child’s wrist.  And punch the child, for good measure.  I’m going to repeat that: Pastor Harris encourages parents to punch children and break their wrists.  That is unacceptable for any infraction.

Boys, to Harris, become men by performing physical labor, and by not wearing dresses.  One cannot, apparently, be a man who wears a dress, despite all evidence to the contrary.  Boys can also become men by being physically acted upon, presumably because this “toughens them up” and keeps them from being “soft.”  (I can only guess that, in the Pastor Sean Harris Super-Slim Guide to Science, pain makes the body produce androgens.)

I’d contrast this with how Harris thinks girls become women, but he says nothing of the sort.  He only addresses how girls should act like girls.

I think that this aspect of his screed might get lost in the completely-justified outrage surrounding the “beat your children” part of the sermon, and I’m not sure I’d have anything more to add to that anyway — the hideousness and indefensibility are self-evident.  Instead, I’d like to dig into what this little rant of his reveals about his overall assumptions about gender, and more specifically his assumptions about femininity.

While I’m sure he means “act” in the sense of “behave,” what he’s describing is the “act” of a performance.  Yes, he implies that girls can’t dig ditches, and can only play sports sometimes.  But he mainly implies that, regardless of how a girl might naturally walk, speak, or smell, she must put on a show of femininity.  Not all women naturally walk heel-to-toe and swish their hips.  Not all women speak with a breathy voice and end every sentence in a high rising terminal.  If there were any doubt that Harris is talking about performative femininity, it would be shattered by his statement that a girl should “smell like a girl.”  A girl who plays sports, who gets dirty and sweats and has any amount of body odor, would indeed smell.  Logic would say that these scents would obviously smell like a girl — specifically, the girl they are coming out of.  But no — one only smells like a girl when one does NOT smell like a girl.

Moreover, all these factors combined “mean you are going to be beautiful.”  Any girl who clomps around when she walks and uses declarative sentences cannot also be beautiful, no matter how she looks.  It’s not even enough to be beautiful, however — “you are going to be attractive.” A point which is even more uncomfortable when one remembers that he’s saying nothing of women, just of girls. The purpose of being beautiful is not to delight in aesthetics as an end in itself, but to appeal to the male gaze.

To delight in aesthetics as an end in itself is stereotypically appealing to the male gays, too.   But also to young people, males and females alike, who may or may not even understand gender yet.  All the polemics of “sin” aside, what could Harris be seeing as so very Wrong about boys enjoying beautiful things, or engaging in the same performative femininity as girls?

Maybe it’s exactly that: the fact that it IS such a blatant reminder that all these “feminine” behaviors are an act.  If Pastor Harris and his ilk only acknowledge women – pardon me, girls – as beautiful or attractive when they’re wearing the right things and speaking the right way and moving the right ways, why, they might momentarily be attracted by a passing transgender female who wears, moves, speaks, and smells like a girl, too!   The fear of even fleeting and inadvertent homosexual attraction is so strong that they must maintain the clearest possible distinction between the sexes, starting by instilling fear into even the youngest children — by any means necessary.  The sooner one is taught to associate a “lapse” or “failure” of heteronormativity with physical pain, the better society will fare.

Also note his language: he encourages parents to “punch” and “crack” boys, and to “reign in” [sic] girls.  Essentially, Harris believes children should be taught about gender norms the way one would (badly) break a horse: for the boys, apply the whips and spurs to goad them in the right direction. Flog them when they misbehave or follow the path their nature impels them to follow.  For the girls, make sure the bit is good and tight in her mouth so you can keep her reined in, such that she can’t even try to follow her natural path. Note that, purely coincidentally, she’d be less able to speak.  All these violent and restraining actions are nothing more than “taking charge.”

There is, frankly, no way I would ever subject myself to listening to Harris’s past sermons to find anything that reveals his attitude toward women overall.   I did find a sermon about female deacons, however, where he states that female deacons can be acceptable in churches whose structure of governance is exclusively led by the church elders, and wherein the deacons are no more than a figurehead.  He does also say at the 4 minute mark that “If you see on the church website that they have female deacons, that should serve as a red flag to you. You should not just go ‘Okay, that’s fine;’  you need to be concerned about that.”  Clearly, he believes that women should not serve as leaders in the church, and that males and females should serve God in different ways.

Moreover, I’ve not bothered to find anything more specific to his attitudes toward sexual immorality than this sermon on how sex outside of marriage is never safe.  Which I’ve not listened to in full.

However, I don’t doubt at all that Pastor Harris believes there are “immoral” women who flaunt their sexuality.  Women who prey on the lusts of men by dressing imprudently, wearing too much makeup, wearing short or tight skirts, and so forth.  Though, again, I cannot find any specific statement to this effect, I also cannot imagine – knowing what I know of his conservative Christian ideology and beliefs on the acceptable roles of women in the home and in church – that Pastor Harris would find such sexualization acceptable.

So, a woman must act like a woman, and walk like a woman, and dress like a woman, and smell like a woman, and must be beautiful and attractive — but, surely, if one acts too attractive and shows off too much of her God-given womanly attributes, that’s an affront.   I suppose this, again, is why girls need to be “reined in,” to make sure they’re neither too “butch” nor too “slutty.”  Neither too passive to follow God’s supposed will, nor too willful on their own.   A boy becomes a man by, basically, doing masculine things and NOT doing feminine things.  It’s probably impossible for a boy to act too manly.  But a girl only lives properly as a girl by being neither too masculine nor too feminine — a balance which, you’ll note, should be moderated by the father: Pastor Harris specifically encourages “dads” to exercise these punishments.  The role of the mother in family discipline, or in anything else, is unclear.  Given the apparent analogy Harris draws between children and horses, perhaps a mother’s role is as little more than brood mare.

“Where to even begin?” was one question.   “Where can it be ended?” is another.

I’m not sure what could be said to counteract this sort of rhetoric.  What wouldn’t immediately be filtered away by a misdirected fear that is interpreted as self-preservation.   I’m sorry to say that I hold no hope that Pastor Harris will ever see anything wrong with his statements.  As Senior Pastor, he has been living an entire life predicated upon this certain set of beliefs, indoctrinated indepenedently of logic. For the rest of his days, he will accept others’ homosexuality or being transgender no more than he would accept them committing murder or arson or infanticide.  All too likely, he himself was given a few lashes for playing dress-up.  All too likely, he has fears of loving or lusting after someone who is secretly a male, accidentally dooming himself to Hell forever.  All too likely, whatever children he has or teaches have been given this same anxiety and revulsion, and one can only hope that they come to think independently and with compassion in the course of time.  But, here and now, he believes to the very core of his being that he speaks God’s own truths, the only truths that can save the souls of the impressionable.  He believes to the core that he is a spiritual guide and protector.  He will never comprehend how he is hurting his community.  He will never comprehend how he is driving them away from the church, and from any sense of trust in adults.  Nor could he ever care, because he believes

Pastor Harris is right on one basic assumption:  not that physical or emotional abuse can affect one’s sexuality or gender expression, but that it can affect what one learns to fear.

If I were a young person in Fayetteville, NC, I would fear Pastor Harris and the members of his church.

First off, something good… The ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill in my hometown state of Tennessee is essentially going nowhere. What’s more interesting to me more than anything else is that the politician who sponsored the bill is essentially dropping it like a hot potato. (Well, it did become a hot issue, for sure.) It kind of makes you wonder if all of these extreme bills that Republicans are proposing are nothing more than a “who’s got the biggest conservative penis” contest, right? Surely, no one can be that evil? Right?

Right?

Well, apparently someone can. Yes, the perfect solution if your kids start to act outside their standard gender roles, is to hit them, or tell them they need to look attractive. (Yeah… that won’t need therapy later, or anything…)

Look, I get that some people don’t understand that being who you are isn’t really a choice. However, you either be yourself, or you pretend you’re someone else and suffer-along in life. Maybe I should put things into my own perspective…

I don’t fully understand transgendered people. I accept them for who they are, but I don’t always get it in my head. That’s not to say though if I had a son of my own, I’d go through extremes to make sure he turned out the way I envisioned. I’d probably do all I could to make sure he got the love and support he needed. (Because, that’s what parents are supposed to do, right?) Right???