ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 1991:
November 20, 1991
Diana Ross, Kenny Andrews, Michael Ball, Simon Bowman, Linda Mae Brewer, Beverly Craven, Jim Dale, Les Dawson, Clinton Derricks Carroll, John Diedrich, Mike Doyle, Chip Esten, Rosemarie Ford, Ann Howard, Roy Hudd, Lisa Hull, Gloria Hunniford, Eric Idle, Barry James, Peter Land, Cherida Langford, Patti LuPone, Jillie Mack, Gareth Marks, Jackie Mason, Paul J Medford, Claire Moore, Julia McKenzie, Omar Okai, Elaine Paige, Billy Pearce, The Roly Polys, Frances Ruffelle, Lea Salonga, Ned Sherrin, Scott Sherrin, Wayne Sleep, Dig Wayne, Marti Webb, Colm Wilkinson, Sandy Strallen, Susan-Jane Tanner, The Cast of Buddy, The Dagenham Girl Pipers, The London Community Gospel Choir, The Sixties Tiller Girls, The Stephen Hill Singers, The Sylvia Young Theatre School, The Young Voronezh Balalaikas.
(VOB)
From the Victoria Palace Theatre, London. In The Presence Of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, His Royal Highness The Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh. Hosted by Sir David Frost. The evening highlights the shows produced by Cameron Mackintosh, including: LES MISERABLES, MISS SAIGON, CATS, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, MY FAIR LADY, OLIVER, SONG AND DANCE and FIVE GUYS NAMED MOE. A multi-camera pro-shot.

ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 1992:
December 7, 1992
Leslie Caron, Kiki Dee, Brian Conley, Philip Schofield, Reva Rice, Lon Statton and the “Starlight Express” company, Jimmy Tarbuck, The Chinese State Circus, Chris Tarrant, Gloria Estefan, Steve Coogan, Jim Bailey (as Judy Garland ), Mel Smith & Griff Rhys Jones, Barry Manilow, Michael Ball, The London Community Gospel Choir, Jim Tavare, Nigel Kennedy, Sharon Gless, Mike Michaels, Tim Rice, Montserrat Caballe, Rita Rudner, Tom Conti, From  the Bolshoi Ballet: Yuri Klevtsov and Nadezhda Gracheva, Surprise guest appearance by Joseph Locke, Michael Crawford, The London Choral Society, The Royal variety Company Featuring: Ria Jones, Jacqui Scott, Philip Gould, Paul Gyngell.
(VOB)
From The Dominion Theatre London. In The Presence Of Their  Royal Highnesses The Prince & Princess Of Wales.  Introduced for television  by Gloria Hunniford. A multi-camera proshot.

ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 1997:
December 1, 1997
Celine Dion, The Spice Girls, Enya, Michael Ball, Barbara Cook, Michael Bolton, Jim Davidson, Harry Hill, Joe Pasquale, Andy Leach, Stephen Mulhern, Andy Ford, Lydia Griffiths, Cirque Du Soleil, Vladimir, Ruthie Henshall, Ute Lemper and the Cast of Chicago, Adam Cooper, Ronnie Corbett, Ronnie Barker.
(VOB)
Des O’Connor hosts the gala performance before the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh at London’s Victoria Palace theatre in celebration of their Golden Wedding Anniversary.  A multi-camera proshot.

ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 2007:
December 3, 2007
In the presence of Her Majesty the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh, Kate Thornton and Phillip Schofield host the 79th annual showbusiness  spectacular, coming for the first time from The Empire Theatre, Liverpool ahead  of the city’s year as 2008 European Capital of Culture. Topping the bill are rock band Bon Jovi, plus performances by opera icon Kiri Te Kanawa, and prima  ballerina Darcey Bussell alongside mezzo Katherine Jenkins. Also singing are  Enrique Iglesias, James Blunt, Paul Potts and Seal, and the English National  Ballet dance an excerpt from The Nutcracker. Other performers include the cast  of West End hit Hairspray led by Michael Ball and Mel Smith, and comedians Russell Brand, Joan Rivers, Al Murray,  Stephen K Amos and Big Howard, Little Howard.
(AVI)
A multi-camera pro-shot.

ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 2010:
December 9, 2010
Award-winning comedian Michael McIntyre hosts the 82nd annual
Royal Variety Performance, where the cream of music, comedy and
theatre come together in the presence of Their Royal Highnesses, The
Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall, at the iconic London
Palladium.
Performers include Take That, Kylie Minogue, Cheryl Cole, N-Dubz,
Russell Watson, The Chelsea Pensioners, The Wizard  Of Oz, Les
Miserables, plus comedians John Bishop, Sarah Millican, Jack Whitehall and Micky Flanagan. And, of course, Britain’s Got Talent winners Spelbound.
(AVI)
Pro-shot. A+

OLIVER AWARDS 2011:
The show was hosted by Michael Ball and Imelda Staunton at The Theatre Royal, Drury Lane with BBC Radio 2 coverage from Paul Gambaccini.
Special guests included Stephen Sondheim, Angela Lansbury, Cameron Mackintosh, Barry Manilow as well as performances by Alfie Boe, Kerry Ellis, Adrian Lester and a tribute to Phantom of the Opera with John Owen-Jones and Sierra Boggess. There were also performances from the nominated musicals: Legally Blonde, Love Story, Love Never Dies, Fela!, Into The Woods, Passion and Sweet Charity.
(AVI)
A multi-camera pro-shot.

The Lyric’s promotional material for Dick Whittington seemed to emphasize its “street” aspects; the poster was for a cat in a baseball cap wearing a gold necklace. I was actually expecting the whole production to have a lot more elements from this culture (very vibrant in London and source of a lot of the most exciting dance productions), but they really weren’t there. It was a shame, too; the music and dancing were some of the weakest elements of this production.

However, the casting was very good. The Cat, Paul J Medford, was full of personality and a big ham; he was definitely the star of the show despite having to do it all in a giant furry suit. Steven Webb was shockingly good in a role that should have had me sick with its sugariness; how could he be so positive about everything and not just come off like … he was playing down to us? In fact, he was a treat; a good singing voice, a nearly irony-free delivery, and somehow he managed to “live the role” in a way that sold to a hardened old nut like myself. Good on you, Steve. Alice (Rosalind James), however, put both of the men to shame with her stupendous pipes; she was fine as the spunky pie-maker’s daughter, but she blew the roof off when she sang.

Unfortunately, Shaun Prendergast (as Sarah the Cook) just wasn’t the over the top scene stealer I was hoping for. He seemed a very friendly panto dame, but I really want someone who’s a demon wit as well as having a powerful stage presence. He also didn’t get as many fun dresses as I was hoping for. Still, I’ve been spoiled by Clive Rowe; Prendergast did show that he’d worked to adapt the material as he went along, but he just couldn’t match Rowe’s verbal fireworks.

While this show was definitely competent, I felt it was lacking some snap and pizazz … maybe just a bit more fun between the characters onstage would have helped. That said, it certainly got in plenty of bad puns (especially with the bells, unusual characters to say the least), and I do think it was pitched pretty well at its audience. Still, better miking so the lyrics of the songs could be heard would have helped – I couldn’t tell what they were going on about once the music started – and, well, I don’t know, I guess it is pretty late in the run and a two show day but I would have enjoyed a little more life in the actors. So it was certainly a serviceable panto, but not one I’m likely to remember longer than the end of this Christmas season.

(This review is for a matinee performance that took place on Wednesday, December 29th, 2010. It continues through January 8th, 2011.)

Perhaps this will at least, in part, justify the regular charitable direct debit paid into the Whingers’ joint bank account (Andrew to Phil – what bank account? Do we have a bank account?). But, Sir Andrew, before you withdraw your generous remunerations entirely, you should know that what follows is a perfectly balanced combination of both the W word and the C word.

Do you remember how the Whingers used to moan about the Menier Chocolate Factory‘s unreserved seating policy? After putting that right it seems churlish to complain about their online booking system.

But of course we will. Sweet Charity (book by Neil Simon; music by Cy Coleman; lyrics by Dorothy Fields) happens to Andrew’s favourite movie musical, and it’s pretty high up on Phil’s list too so the Whingers were in high spirits when they entered the auditorium on Sunday afternoon for the second preview.

But cheer gave way to despair when they realised that their seats in Row A to the extreme right hand side of the auditorium offered an extremely oblique view of the stage. Andrew had booked online as soon as the booking for Charity had opened and it was galling to see people who had booked weeks after the Whingers sitting in prime seats with great views of the stage. For a moment they even contemplated the benefits of unallocated seating.

Phil was spiralling into a massive grump but perked up considerably the moment the orchestra struck up for the overture. None of your radical four upright pianos reinvention here but a 10 piece band and even from their rubbish seats the sound was gloriously rich and brassy (which seems as good a place as any to complement Gareth Owen on the sound design – perfectly balanced and we could hear every word).

Even the opening scene in Central Park where Charity (Tamzin Outhwaite) is unceremoniously dumped by Man No 1, her boyfriend Charlie (Mark Umbers)  thankfully didn’t feature one of Phil’s theatrical bêtes noirs a park bench as it so easily could have. But it did feature his other theatrical no-go-area: balloons.

Nonetheless Phil was still staying with the show and optimistic.

But then came the iconic and beautifully staged and choreographed (by Stephen Mear) “Big Spender” number which really needed to be seen from the front and the problems (for Phil) really started. Phil kept looking around: what was the noise distracting him? Not only was the view terrible but he was distracted by the cast who were dashing around back stage changing behind a curtain within a few feet of the Whingers.

While Phil could appreciate what was clearly a tip top production, he just couldn’t enjoy it. Even Andrew (who was loving it all) had to admit that he couldn’t see how Charity was getting laughs from her antics in the wardrobe due to the fact that he couldn’t see her at all. Nor could they see Charity in the closing scene of Act 1 where she and the claustrophobic Oscar (Umbers again) get trapped in the elevator.

By the interval the beautifully executed “There’s Gotta Be Something Better Than This” was running though Phil’s head but for all the wrong reasons and his first action during the interval was to forbid Andrew from ever using the Menier’s online booking system again.

But an angel in the form of Webcowgirl intervened: one of her party was forced to make an interval departure and she offered it to the Whingers. Andrew insisted that Phil take the vacant prime seat, an act of, well rather sweet charity, but one whichAndrew has milked non-stop since (although in actual fact he was just pleased to be shot of Phil and his moaning).

But do you know what:  the second act was a different show for Phil and in his new position he found himself un-distracted by noises off, able to see everything and proceeded to enjoy the show utterly (apart from the director chatting to another creative a seat away). For the rest of the afternoon it was all plain sailing.

Although Outhwaite may lack some of the traditional vulnerability of Charity, she is utterly charming and unlike some leading ladies we’re too polite to mention, she really can sing and dance. She is also very convincing with her chewing gum. Umbers is excellent in his multiple roles (he also plays the film star Vittorio Vidal) and -  in a role that could go horribly wrong – he is outstanding as the bumbling Oscar. Support comes from all directions, not least in the form of the ever reliable Josefina Gabrielle as Nickie and Ursula.

But a big thumbs up to the entire ensemble who are forever rushing on, doing a big dance number before rushing off for another quick change. Style-wise, it’s an impeccable production which nails the late sixties aesthetic perfectly:  Matthew Wright‘s costumes are exquisite and the wigs (Richard Mawbey of course) are exquisite.

And the songs are delivered with great panache: Herman’s (Jack Edwards) “I Love To Cry At Weddings” is a triumph and brilliantly staged by director Matthew White. So is “Rhythm Of Life” and even the slightly naff “I’m A Brass Band” doesn’t seem so bad.

One or two notes:

• Give Ursula a blonde wig; she looks too much like Nickie at the moment.
• We can see why you might want to get away from the iconic switch (right) employed to such effect in the film’s Pompeii Club dance scene. Ebony Molina‘s Tina Turner wig is great and she dances wonderfully but think of all that fabulous switch-swishing you could do with the right wig.
• La Cage Aux Folles finishes in January. I’m sure the Cagelles could be very usefully employed in the “Big Spender” number.
• Sort out the online booking system.

And then, really, everything will be wonderful. Go see it. From a good seat.

Footnotes

Of course, the best thing about the Menier is that you can hang out in the bar afterwards and watch the cast rushing off home. The Whingers and entourage sat there until the barmaid explained that everyone else had gone home and she would quite like to lock up please.

But not before the Whingers had been collared by Tamzin Outhwaite (left) who insisted on having her photograph with the Whingers while teasing that she didn’t know who or what the West End Whingers were.

Then it was the turn of Mark Umbers (right) who insisted on standing on a box to make himself look taller than the Whingers. We wish it to be known that Andrew and Phil are actually 6ft 3in in their stockinged feet and Mister Umbers is only 5ft 4in.

It was lovely too that New York press agent Adrian Bryan-Brown of Beoneau/Bryan-Brown came over to introduce himself. The Whingers tried to entice him to stay for a drink and a gossip but he may have sensed that he would have had a lot of catching up to do in the drinking department and he made his excuses.

And amazingly David Babani also came up and introduced himself. Andrew took the opportunity to suggest that the Menier revive Kander and Ebb’s 70 Girls 70 but his non-committal response seemed to suggest that he didn’t really do requests.