Reid... Leeds boss for just 22 games.

FORMER LEEDS UNITED boss Peter Reid recently reflected on his time at Elland Road.

Reid was initially appointed as manager on 21st March 2003 with the task of keeping Leeds United in the Premiership – a task in which he succeeded.

Two remarkable away results, a 6-1 triumph over Charlton at the Valley and a thrilling 3-2 victory over Arsenal at Highbury, helped keep Leeds in the top flight as they eventually finished six points clear of the drop zone.

“We managed to stay up and I think a lot of people forget that we got some great results”, said Reid.

After minor speculation linking the then Celtic boss Martin O’Neill, Reid with the Elland Road hotseat, Reid was then given a one-year rolling contract with the club for upcoming 2003-2004 season. However with the club in financial turmoil, Leeds were forced to sell their best players Reid explains:

“Harry Kewell went and we didn’t get enough money for him. It was a very  difficult time for the football club.”

Not only did Kewell sign for Liverpool for just £5 million, £2 million of that was rumoured to have gone to his agent. Olivier Dacourt’s loan move to Roma was made permanent for £3.5 million and Paul Robinson looked set for a move to Aston Villa to join up with David O’Leary.

Reid also loaned out Danny Mills (Middlesbrough), Stephen McPhail (Nottingham Forest), Matthew Kilgallon (West Ham) and James Milner (Swindon). Replacements were lined up.

“I tried to get Paolo Di Canio off West Ham but he went to Charlton and Patrick Berger off Liverpool but he went to Portsmouth. I panicked a bit and brought about eight players in on loan because there was not substance to the club.”

Di Canio... was Leeds target.

Jermaine Pennant, Didier Domi, Lamine Sakho, Zoumana Camara, Cyril Chapuis, Salomon Olembe and Roque Junior were all brought into the club on loan deals.

However having won just two games by early November, Reid was sacked.

“I was there at the wrong time. When I went in I didn’t realise that they were going to financially implode.

“Leeds is a fantastic club and I’m delighted that they’re doing well. I just want them to go up. It’s a club with a great tradition and a great support and I hope to see them back up there.”

After a stint as manager of Thailand, Reid is now assistant manager at Premiership club Stoke City.

Singer Lily Allen will follow in the footsteps of pop stars Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan next week – when she appears in hit Australian soap Neighbours.

Allen filmed the cameo role on her summer tour of Australia and the episode, scheduled to be screened on Channel Five next Tuesday, November 10, will see her perform one of her songs.

A fan of of the iconic soap, Allen is said to have ‘wasted no time in accepting the offer’ to star as herself in a scene alongside Matt Werkmeister, who plays character Zeke Kinski.

In the scenes, the singer is interviewed on the ‘PirateNet’ radio station before singing 22, from her latest album It’s Not Me It’s You.

Ramsay Street’s Karl Kennedy – played by Alan Fletcher – also appears alongside Allen.

At the time, she wrote on Twitter: ‘Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours. OMFG! Just saw Paul Robinson and Libby Kennedy.’

The show is set in the fictional suburb of Erinsborough, just outside Melbourne and has been running for a quarter of a century, gaining cult status with UK viewers.

And British viewers wishing to follow in the footsteps of Allen can take The Neighbours Tour. The day-long experience takes groups to the real Ramsay Street to see the location of the show for themselves – though visitors cannot actually enter the houses as they are still occupied by normal residents.

Visitors also get the chance to meet a member of the cast of the show. Neighbours has played host to a range of stars from stage and screen including Julian Clary, David Walliams and Michael Parkinson.Clive James has also appeared as a postman on an episode of the show while Morrissey acted the role of a priest on a different episode.To find out more about the Neighbours Tour visit the website (www.neighbourstour.com.au) and watch the video below.

Big Sam: Piggy Tactics

If you follow the Premier League (or Barclays Premier League if you’re being anal, EPL if you’re American, and Premiership if you’re Alan Hansen), you may have heard the news that ‘Big Sam’ Allardyce had one or two problems with his squad last week, prior to their humiliating 5-0 defeat at Chelsea. I know what you’re thinking and, no, it actually didn’t involve El Hadj Diouf. No, in fact, last week the main problem facing the Rovers boss was dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn – swine flu!

Yes, swine flu. The killer virus that the Sun predicted would kill us all and result in flesh eating pigs rising up to rule planet Earth (or something along those lines. If i’m honest, I got distracted by Page 3 and didn’t properly read it). Now, as shocking as it may sound to Sky Sports News, whose little yellow ticker jumped with excitment upon hearing the story coming out of the Lancashire club, footballers really are humans after all. And humans, judging by the events of the past 12 months or so, really can contract pig flu. Big news undoubtedly.

The question that should’ve been on everyone’s lips though, and thankfully was on the lips of us over at Eddie’s Football Blog, was ‘how did swine flu suddenly spring up in the Blackburn camp?’. Once again we sent our reporter to investigate.

This time calling on our vast knowledge of time travel (acquired by watching the ‘Back To The Furture’ trilogy a couple of times), we used a Delorian, a few flashy wires, a radio alarm clock, and a shouty old man with beady eyes (who we found outside Sainsburys talking to a bin) to send our man back to last Friday night, the day before Blackburn’s game with Chelsea. Here’s what he discovered.

The pictoral evidence is conclusive. Sam Allardyce had planned it all along. He would make sure that his entire squad were so ill, that the Premier League would have no choice but to cancel their game with Chelsea. Just like his tactics, the beauty of this plan was in its simplicity and, with their six goal whalloping by Arsenal still fresh in the memory, the Blackburn gaffer couldn’t risk morale being damaged by yet another humiliating defeat.

So on Thursday he got to work, sending his chief scout to Mexico and tasking him with the job of finding finding the ‘filthiest most disease-infected pig in the country’. After a brief mis-understanding which led to a holidaying Katie Price being bundled into a potato sack, Big Sam’s scout tracked down a pig farm so filthy that even Jermain Defoe would have turned his nose up at it. Nonetheless, ‘Pablito’ the pig was adquired, promptly dressed up as Paul Robinson (as not to raise suspicion, but also to explain his hearty appetite), and then plonked on a plane bound for London.

Meeting his new oinky accomplice at Heathrow on Friday (the day before the game), Big Sam had it all planned out. He would wait until all the players were asleep at the hotel, and then take Pablito from bed to bed, infecting each player with a solitary lick to the face. By morning they would all be far too ill to play, and the game would be cancelled. It was fool-proof. He even practiced with Pablito in the afternoon, sticking pictures of every Blackburn player on the end of a Nobbly Bobbly ice lolly. The training was such a success that even the El Hadj Diouf lolly got a lick.

Come nightfall, clad in his maroon satin PJs, Big Sam was ready. This was going to work.

Now, you’ll see in the picture that the players appear to be sharing a room. Why though? Well, Rovers chairman John Williams, a man so careful at watching his pennies that Pascal Chimbonda can be counted as one of his major summer signings, wanted it that way. When he was told of the price of each room at the fancy Chelsea Village hotel, he exclaimed (presumably in a northern accent, whilst sipping a warm pint of mead) “It’s a bloody outrage! They can all bloody well share!”. And so they bloody well did (the fact that this arrangement conveniently facilitates this particular version of events is just one big coincidence. Honest.).

Anyway, the image captures a crucial moment in our tale. Having sucessfully infected David Dunn with the virus, Big Sam moves confidently onto his second victim – ogre and part-time battering ram, Christopher Samba. Pablito, although clearly hesitant of the potential volcanic reaction caused by waking a sleeping beast of this magnitude, overcomes his fear and manages to infect his second victim. Big Sam rubs his hands in glee. His plan is definitely going to work.

Then all of a sudden there’s a beeping noise, a flick of a lightswitch, and the sound of hesitant and confused Norwegian voice. “Er… boss? Er… what are you doing down there boss?”. Big Sam looks up to see a perplexed Morten Gamst Pedersen standing over him. Shit. He’s been rumbled.

You see, in the melee of ordering a disease-infected Mexican pig, dressing it up like Paul Robinson, and then hatching a masterplan to sneak around under the cover of darkness infecting his entire squad, Big Sam Allardyce forgot one crucial fact. A fact that condemned his masterplan to failure from the minute it was hatched… Morten Gamst Pedersen checks his hair in the mirror every 15 minutes. Without fail. At night he even sets his alarm clock to go off every quarter of an hour to wake him up. Just to be sure.

Poor old Big Sam. Blackburn now would have to play their game against the league leaders for sure. He’d only infected two players with swine flu and, to rub salt in the wound, those two players were his best midfielder and his best defender/striker/battering ram. In fact he’d even picked the bug up himself, after Pablito mistook him for a Nobbly Bobbly.

Unsurprisingly it finished 5-0 to Chelsea. The word on the street is that Big Sam has a new masterplan up his sleeve for when he recovers. It involves a pair of clippers, a Norwegian, and has to be completed in under 15 minutes.

That was the weekend that was…

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1. Liverpool deserved to beat Man Utd yesterday but I think Fergie was right to have another moan at the ref. For me Carragher should definitely have been sent off for the tug on Owen in the second half. It can be argued that it wasn’t a clear opportunity but I think he would have got a shot away before the other defenders closed him down, they were quite far away.

His hatchet job on Carrick in the first half was a penalty – Carrick just got to the ball before Carragher and you just can’t go lunging in like that in that area of the pitch. He somehow got away with both but once more looked like the weak link in the Liverpool defence. The Vidic and Mascherano reds were both justified I reckon – I can’t believe the Serb has been sent off in three straight games against Liverpool!

It was clear that both managers had gambled with their unfit strikers and from what we saw it was clear that Torres had recovered more than Rooney. The Spaniard took his goal magnificently, both out-pacing and out-muscling Rio Ferdinand. He didn’t do much else during the game but it was enough. It’s a tough call between him and Drogba for title of best striker in the league but I’d possibly veer on the side of Torres right now. A good result for Liverpool but lets see if they can do the same away at Fulham next week.

Eats Vidic and Rio for breakfast.

Man Utd meanwhile have a few areas of concern. Both centre backs seem currently susceptible to pace (not something you’d previously say for Rio) so what chance Jonny Evans coming in for a bit? In midfield Fletcher was once more missed – the one bright note being that he and the soon to return Hargreaves will be a fearsome partnership. Up front, Rooney can be forgiven for being unfit but he has been out of form regardless. Berbatov on the other hand did his usual thing of nice flicks and passes but no real cutting edge. He doesn’t really do it in the big games does he?

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2. For the third time in a week Arsenal completely switched off in a game where they went ahead and for the second time in a week it proved costly. After getting away with against Birmingham, they conceded a last minute equaliser against AZ Alkmaar in midweek Champions League action. They’ve learnt their lesson said the players. So what should happen yesterday against West Ham? A comfortable 2-0 lead with 16 minute left and one poorly dealt with free kick and one silly challenge in the box later and they find themselves going back to north London with one point instead of three.

The free kick for West Ham’s first was soft but Mannone made the cardinal sin of palming the ball back into the danger area instead of out wide. Cole pokes it home, game on. Then with ten minutes to go Alex Song decides to clip the back of Cole’s heels in the box with no real danger. Cole went down, penalty given, penalty scored. Wenger was rightly furious with his team after the game and it is these kind of games which results in Arsenal not properly challenging for titles. For 75 minutes Arsenal dominated but once again couldn’t close it out. They won’t win anything until they learn how to.

They just never learn...

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3. Man City ensured Arsenal weren’t the only title pretenders to blow a two goal lead. Mark Hughes will be concerned at how his £24m centre back Joleon Lescott is a bit rubbish at the moment – Man City have a definite vulnerability in the air. Their form isn’t particularly good either with three successive draws and one win in five.

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4. Spurs surprisingly lost to Stoke at home and it was particularly annoying for me as I had Abdoulaye Faye’s nine fantasy football points marooned on the bench (I didn’t think Stoke would do anything). My point is that given Spurs have lost just twice at home since Redknapp took over and Stoke were winless away in their first four games, it shows just how good (and unexpected and fortuitous) a result it was for Pulis’ team. I certainly wasn’t expecting it and it confirms Stoke should be pushing for a top half finish this season.

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5. Congrats to Bobby Zamora, who I don’t think anyone will beat for miss of the season award. Wow. I know there are strikers who are lauded for their hard work rather than goals (see Heskey, Emile Ivanhoe) but that was ridiculous. To be fair he has already equalled his goal tally for last season but I reckon it’s a long time since the chant “When the balls hits the goal, it’s not Shearer or Cole it’s Zamora” was heard (not least because Shearer and Cole are retired but you know what I mean). Isn’t it now “When the ball hits your head and you’re sat in row Z, that’s Zamora”?

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6. Chelsea gave Blackburn a spanking and from a fantasy perspective it was good to see Frank Lampard return to goalscoring form with a double. I picked him as captain so was pleased with the 28 points he scored. It’s a little early to say for sure but based on that game it appeared that the return of Joe Cole helped as it allowed Lampard to play deeper and make his undetected runs.

Cole himself was excellent too and should stay in the hole behind Drogba and Anelka rather than on the left. He’s not quite at full fitness yet but I reckon Deco should be fearing for his place. I agree with what the Football Guy says – Paul Robinson is just shocking on long shots. I know he’s fat but it be that hard to shift all that body mass. On second thoughts…

Try as he might, Paul 'the beached whale' Robinson just couldn't shift himself to save the shot...

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T.

“Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to buy stuff.”

There exist striking resemblances between the supermarket and the church. Most obvious is in design: the aisle substitutes for the pew; the checkouts substitute for the altar. You might even be tempted to utter a supplication as your eyes survey the shopping receipt. But the similarities extend beyond design. Consider the parallels between piped music in supermarkets and hymnal music in religious buildings. Both are meant to calm, inform, and direct congregations towards giving – and in return you shall receive! Whether that be spiritual or nutritional is dependent on your particular ‘brand’ of faith.

Listen to the conversations of regular/returning customers: they are virtually confessional. No need for the booth of reconciliation when you can spill the beans at the express queue and be out the door before a single Hail Mary is communicated. The ‘church-ale’ or fund raiser has been replaced by the special offer and own-brand range. The parish church can now be re-imagined as a metro or express outlet. The 24-hour big-box store is the modern cathedral, offering cures and remedies for poor eyesight, headaches, and indigestion that no longer require absolute commitment to an unseen deity. You can even get your gnashers done all-pearly-like, while waiting for your other half to get the weekly shop in.

Of course, it’s not just the supermarket that seeks to refashion and agglomerate the tenets of faith under one roof. As religion disintegrates, you need only look to the internet to see the dispersion and re-concentration of the congregation into specific online social communities. The church is well aware of this and makes incredible efforts to recapture the flock by adopting online strategies and business models. Similarly, it adopts supermarket strategies to rebuild and maintain attendance.

On the flip side, the supermarket recently tried its hand at old style religious ‘exclusionism’ by banning Daniel Jones, founder of the International Church of Jediism, from one of its stores. In what was clearly a case of following the ‘rule’ book too closely, he was ejected for his unacceptable apparel. A taste of things to come? Probably not (yet), but it does raise the issues of selective entry to these assemblies of exchange and supermarkets operating as enforcement agencies.

With supermarkets expanding into all areas of trade, will we soon see the supermarket police apprehending criminals outside of the sliding doors, beyond the car-park and alongside the conventional police force? Why stop there? They could deliver the post, run the railways, empty the sewers, manage our finances, loan out money, mortgage our homes, insure our homes, insure our cars, and provide us with phones, flights, city breaks and package holidays. They might even consider reading us our last rites, although terms and conditions would most certainly apply.

Paul Robinson
Recently published on Blogcritics.

Lennon: That's my boy!

Trying to write an article about a 0-1 defeat in the Ukraine is easy.

The press, perpetuating the theory that they exist only to make a mountain out of a molehill (quite literally when referring to Paul Robinson’s experience in Zagreb), will undoubtedly aim to point the finger at a someone. Generally, this player/referee/manager won’t deserve the level criticism aimed at them, but the airwaves of Talk Sport will still be rammed full of supporters reacting with true Daily Mail style outrage.

Turn it on now. I’m willing to bet you that an angry man from Dagenham is struggling to get his point across about why Rio Ferdinand should be dropped. Jason Cundy will then inexplicably agree with him.

However, I’m not one to stoke the fire. In fact, I want to talk about something completely unrelated to yesterday’s result because, yesterday, a funny thing happened. I found myself losing interest in the game after 15 minutes. Why? Not because we had gone down to 10 men. No, I lost interest because the one player representing my club had left the field of play.

Maybe it’s different for the fans of Manchester United and Chelsea who have a number of their players regularly making the starting line-up at international level, or maybe they feel it too. All I know is that, as a Spurs fan, whenever one of our players takes to the field in the white of my country, I suddenly become the proud father-figure standing on the touchline, nudging my neighbour and exclaiming “That’s my boy!”.

When Aaron Lennon bamboozled the Croatians, and turned in a Man Of The Match perfomace in England’s recent 5-1 victory at Wembley, I wasn’t sure if I was proud of my club for having the best player on the pitch, or just proud of my country’s achievement. That night I think it was a mixture of the two, but yesterday’s match probably proved to me that, in meaningless international games, my eye is more on the individuals than on the team as a whole.

This of course opens up a wider Club vs Country debate. Do I love Spurs more than I love England? In a game that mean nothing, yes, I probably do. The neutral would undoubtedly claim that this is terribly unpatriotic, and that I should be hung, drawn and quartered for such treason. However, the neutral doesn’t have engrained within them the 9 month turmoil of the loyal football supporter and, in an era when player loyalty is at an all-time low, Premier League fans (certainly of clubs outside of the top four) want to cling on to every moment their stars have in the limelight. They don’t tend to last long if you have a player of real quality, as Spurs fans only know too well.

I think that we can safely say that Eriksson tarnished the integrity of England friendlies for us all and, let’s face it, World Cup qualifiers when you’ve already qualified suffer from the same stigma (especially if you are forced into gambling just to be able to watch it). It’s just another annoying little break, when all you really want to do is have a pie in your hand, a spring in your step, and be ready to get behind your club’s players once more. However, if one of your boys has broken into the national team and proudly pulled on the shirt of your country, it becomes a different ball-game entirely. Suddenly a meaningless game has meaning.

On Saturday, when our Postman Pat lookalike was forced into taking my boy off after 15 minutes, and I suddenly found myself on BBC One watching a re-run of Diagnosis Murder, I could hear those Premier League neutrals sharpening their guillotines for my heresy.

Tell me, fellow Premier League fans, am I the only one who is committing this crime?

PRobinson

In a wonderful display of attacking football, Arsenal scored six goals from six different players to win against Blackburn Rovers at home. This came as a fitting tribute to Wenger, entering into his 14th year at the club with this match. Thierry Henry was also on attendance with his family to see the young Gunners take centre-stage despite going behind twice early in the match.

A 10/10 performance from our Captain Marvellous, Cesc was sexy throughout the match. He made 4 assists and scored one in a match which was probably his best in the season so far. He was all over the place. And he made it a point to the Gooners in the stadium that he is dedicated to this club and is not going anywhere in his goal celebration. What a player, what an attitude and what a vision!!!

It didn’t start all that well for Arsenal, when a pretty long free-kick taken by Robinson was headed into the goal as Mannone found himself in no-mans-land, advancing to collect the ball but not able to do so. This was probbaly his in-experience showing in the starting minutes of the match and I can only see him learning from these mistakes. Otherwise he had a wonderful match, not that he had much to do. Arsenal found parity soon through our goal-scoring machine, no not Bendtner, but Vermaelen . He was felled near the centre of the pitch, but referee waved played-on and the ball was nicely played on to an advancing Vermaelen by Fabregas and he rocketed a shot to the right corner with his impeccable left foot.

Against the run of play, again Balckburn found the net, this time a deflection of Gallas into the goal. That was pretty much of what Blackburn could do, other than a legitimate penalty shout, which the referee did not give. Not that it mattered in the end though. Almost immediately after the second Blackburn goal, Fabregas put through van Persie, who seems to be taking these kind of goals as a regular fare these days. Please note that by this time, Arsenal were playing flowing football, with our flair players Arshavin and Rosicky involved in the thick of thinigs. Again a nice lay-off to Arshavin on the left saw the Russian squeeze a goal past Robinson. So at that time the score read 3-2.

It was not over and the second half was again Arsenal at its attacking best. And this time, Fabregas in trying to feed van Persie first and then Rosicky, got the ball back from the Czech, chested it and hit a loose left foot shot for a goal. This was a deserving finish that makes the captain our join top scorer in the league with 4 goals along with Vermaelen. Enter Theo, and he must have been barely in when a good counter attack saw Arshavin pass the ball to Cesc, who had the vision to see Walcott coming on the right to lay the ball on his path. A neat finish from Walcott was all it required and that was what he did precisely. 5-2.

The captain was substituted to a thunderous applause and in came Bendtner and Ramsey to play out the final 15 odd mins. Bendtner got time to increase his goal tally with a glorious finish with his right foot, which was a nearly impossible stop for Robinson. All’s well and that ends well. Despite letting in 6 goals, Paul Robinson had a decent game otherwise it would have been some 8 or 10 goals!!!

Top scorers for Arsenal in the Premier League

Fabregas, Vermaelen – 4 goals

van Persie – 3 goals

Arshavin, Diaby, Eduardo, Gallas - 2 goals

Bendtner, Denilson, Ramsey, Rosicky, Walcott - 1 goal

PRobinson

Today’s batch of completely un-inspirational warblings once again reflect on the past week in the world of football. We had Adebayor on the wind-up, which was preceded by seasonal En-ger-land post World Cup qualification hysteria, after the national team’s 5-1 win against the mighty Croatia.

A special mention must also go to the BBC for ‘treating’ us to the ‘Uefa Euro 2009′ tourmament. If i’m totally honest, I had absolutely no idea that there was such a thing, but i’m glad I watched some of it. It was knee-slappingly bad. If Uefa’s mission was to generate more respect amongst men for the women’s game, then quite what they were doing letting the BBC publically air some of the most comical goalkeeping I have ever witnessed, I will never know. Perhaps it was to make Paul Robinson feel better about himself.

In other news, Manchester United look to sew up the Korean market for another three years, by giving a lot of money to a benched Park, not a park bench (that would just be stupid).

The infamous summer transfer window is now well and truly shut. UEFA have told everyone to shut up and make do until January now. But are all the Premier League clubs sufficiently stocked?

Now it’s Blackburn, Bolton and Burnley’s turn to be analysed.

Blackburn

After a turbulent season last time round in which they will have settled for survival, Rovers needed to strengthen in this window. The departures of Roque Santa Cruz and later Stephen Warnock added further to the need for new faces.

At £12million, the man dubbed as the ‘future of Croatian football’ by Slaven Bilic will need to settle in quickly. Nikola Kalinic had a good scoring record at Hadjuk Split, but like many other players will need time to adjust to the pace of the English game. Poor performances in his first two games- one in which he was booked for diving- means that looks unlikely.

It was a disappointing window for Rovers. A natural replacement for Warnock wasn’t found, so Allardyce will be forced to choose between playing the young Martin Olsson there or transferring one of his new signings like Pascal Chimbonda or Michel Salgado to the left flank. Another option could be moving Gael Givet from his preferred central berth.

Bolton

A team that are still lingering in the Premier League without making too much of an impact, Bolton boss Gary Megson was sure to add more likeminded players to his determined squad.

A string of tenacious yet lacklustre signings followed. Zat Knight, Sean Davis and Paul Robinson are very much ‘Bolton players’ that will give their all for the team. Knight’s physical presence will be handy at set pieces. But on deadline day, Gary Megson took arguably his first risk of the summer, drafting in Croatian hitman Ivan Klasnic on loan from French side Nantes.

A couple of years ago, Klasnic was hot property. Scoring goals aplenty for Werder Bremen, he was attracting interest from some of Europe’s biggest clubs. But after trouble with his kidney, it was suggested that he could never play football again. He did return with Nantes, but his stay in France has not been a happy one. Finding the form of four or so years ago will not be an easy task, but if he achieves it, it could be enough to shove Bolton to safety.

Burnley

Arguably the weakest of the promoted sides, Burnley pride themselves on the hardworking and team orientated ethos of the club. Masses of ins and outs were never a likelihood, but the odd experienced head would have been welcomed at Turf Moor.

Summer signings Andre Bikey, Tyrone Mears and David Edgar all have some top league experience- albeit mainly forgettable memories. It’s hoped Steven Fletcher will take to the south of the border like a duck to water, and pitch in with goals in the same way he did at Hibernian. Joining him in the frontline is deadline day loanee David Nugent who will be hoping he can get a prolonged run of games and prove a point to his parent club Portsmouth.

All in all, Burnley will be hoping that adrenaline and effort will carry them through the season. They could get found out towards the back end of the season, like Hull last year, but they will be optimistic that safety has already been guaranteed.

Photos: Thanks to Lawrence OP (money), rc! (Blackburn fans), nicksarebi (Zat Knight) and Robert Wade (Burnley fans)

With just under two days left of the 2009 summer transfer window, I think it’s widely acknowledged that it hasn’t been the best period of transfers for Bolton. Sam Ricketts and Paul Robinson’s signings appear to have angered many Bolton fans when the money should have quite rightly been spent on a striker and an attacking midfielder. We now have full-backs coming out of our ears and no one in to even compete with the increasingly woeful Elmander. Our attacking options are limited to say the least, yet inexplicably we send Obadeyi out on loan and rumours begin to circulate about Vaz Te signing for a team in Turkey.

With just two days left of the transfer window, our most likely signing appears to be, er, Kevin Nolan. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a lot of time for Kevin Nolan and I think he rightly deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as recent Bolton legends such as Okocha, Campo and Bergsson. He showed nothing but love for the club and was one of the main reasons we qualified for Europe twice. BUT, as occasionally happens in football, some players go off the boil and Kevin is one of these unfortunate souls. Certainly not to Michael Ricketts proportions, but it became patently obvious to most fans that Kev wasn’t the player who was knocking on the door of the England squad a few seasons earlier, and the £4m transfer to Newcastle has been seen as Megson’s shrewdest bit of business (despite claims he actually knew nothing about the transfer – but that’s for another post). If Nolan comes back, I will get behind him but he would need to emulate his form of four years ago for me to think it was a good move. After a poor start to his time at Newcastle, he looks like he might be getting the hunger back for scoring goals (with two in his last two games), OR he might just have found his level in the Championship.

What has angered me is the way Bolton have avoided clearly good, plausible transfer targets where teams around our level have gone in there and snapped them up. In particular, I’m very disappointed we never went in for either Tuncay Sanli or Eidur Gudjohnsen. Two players who can both play attacking midfielder or striker i.e. the positions we desperately need filling. Tuncay went to Stoke for £5m, the price being bandied around for Gudjohnsen (who has always stated he’d like to finish his career at Bolton) was also £5m. To put that into perspective, we paid £4m for Zat Knight. Now ask yourself a question, would it have been better to have either Gudjohnsen or Tuncay in the team and either Shittu or O’Brien being first team, or to have Knight in the team at the expense of solving our biggest problem of scoring goals? I know which one I’d choose, but Defensive Gary doesn’t perhaps think the same way I do.

The talk of Ivan Klasnic is encouraging, and Beckford may be worth a punt, but I get the feeling we may only add a Rasiak-a-like on the final day. Luckily he’s signed for Reading so we won’t actually get the real thing!

Blackburn Rovers: Overgiv jer eller vi tackler!

Stiftet: 1875

Stadion: Ewood Park (Kapacitet: 31.367)

Kælenavn: Rovers, Blue and whites, Riversiders

Seneste tre ligaplaceringer (07/08/09): 10/7/15

Første fem kampe: 15/8 Man City (H), 18/8 Fulham (U), 22/8 Sunderland (U), 29/8 West Ham (H), 12/9 Wolverhampton (H)

Manager: Sam Allardyce (Siden december 2008)

Kun 4 hold har vundet den fornemmeste engelske fodboldrække siden den i 1992 ændrede format og navn til det vi i dag kender som Premier League. Det drejer sig naturligvis om Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea – og Blackburn Rovers. Sidstnævnte snuppede et enkelt mesterskab i 1995. Det var der Blackburn slog Liverpool ude på sidste spilledag, og the Kop brød ud i “Always look on the bright side of life” da nyheden tikkede ind om at Blackburn blev mestre idet Manchester United kun havde formået at få 1-1 hos West Ham. Det var også dengang Kenny Dalglish var træner på Ewood Park, og frem for alt dengang Blackburn havde stålmillionæren Jack Walkers penge til at signere stjernespillere som Graeme Le-Saux, Alan Shearer, David Batty, Tim Flowers og Chris Sutton. (Det var virkelig en anden tid dengang…)

Siden er der løbet meget vand under broen i Blackburn. Mesterskabssæsonen blev ikke fulgt succesfuldt op, og blot fire år efter – i 1999 – var holdet nede i den næstbedste række efter en Ray Hartford og Roy Hodgson ikke havde formået at løfte arven efter Dalglish. Mens holdet rodede rundt i den næstbedste række døde Jack Walker ydermere, men alligevel fik Graeme Souness holdet tilbage i den bedste række i 2001. Siden fulgte endnu en indkøbstur, en ligacup triumf og et par ligaplaceringer på det jævne, inden Mark Hughes tog over fra Souness som ville til Newcastle.

I sine fire år på Ewood Park formåede Hughes at skabe et stærkt Blackburn-mandskab, som hurtigt blev et af de hold som alle hadede at møde på grund af deres fysiske og pågående spillestil. Endvidere fik holdet under Hughes såvel en sjette som en syvendeplads, og formåede i vidt omfang at etablere sig i Premier League. I maj 2008 ville Hughes dog hellere til Manchester City, og trænerkarusselen foresatte og smed Paul Ince af hos Blackburn efter et succesfuldt ophold hos Milton Keynes Dons. Ince viste sig imidlertid ikke at kunne klare presset, og han blev fyret efter en serie af elleve kampe uden sejre i november. 

Ind trådte i stedet Sam Allardyce, som var blevet fyret i Newcastle, og som hurtigt fik genfundet de gamle dyder fra Hughes – og som han selv blev berømt og berygtet for i Bolton; fysisk, effektiv fodbold, hvor modstanderens teknikere virkelig får lov til at mærke, at de er i live. Blackburn tabte ikke i Allardyces første syv kampe som træner, og sluttede sæsonen på en – alt taget i betragtning – respektabel 15. plads.

Truppen generelt: Av for satan!

Paul Robinson, som gik gruelig meget igennem omkring Englands kiksede kvalifikation til EM 2008. Robinson droppede flere fælt på landsholdet, og på klubholdet, Tottenham, lignede det tidligere Leeds-talent mere og mere en slagen mand. Robinson blev Inces første indkøb i Blackburn, og har fået gang i karrieren igen.

I forsvaret er Ryan Nelsen fra New Zeeland styrmand, og er blevet en vigtigere og vigtigere mand for holdet de senere år. Han gøres selskab af kæmpestore Christopher Samba, som dominerer luftrummet, men til gengæld kan virke temmelig tung mod teknisk stærke spillere. Ikke desto mindre fuldender det tidligere Liverpool-talent Stephen Warnock et stærkt forsvar på venstrebacken. Georgiske Zurab Khizanishvili agerer backup for centerforsvarne med albuer, film og generel pisseirriterende optræden.

På midtbanen var Blackburn hårdt ramt af skader, og følgelig endte Keith Andrews, som Ince tog med fra MK Dons, lidt pudsigt med at være et næsten fast indslag på den defensive midtbane. Han får konkurrence af australske Vince Grella, mens en anden australier, Brett Emerton, står for et mere offensivt islæt. Ellers er norske Morten Gamst Pedersen den store stjerne på kanten. Ikke blot bidrager nordmanden med indkast som er i Rory-Delap-klassen længdemæssigt; han kan også både drible, udfordre og score mål. Han gør det bare umanerlig sjældent, og har det med at forsvinde i store dele af sæsonen. På kanten kan også El Hadji Diouf – som Allardyce hentede til Bolton i sin tid, og igen hentede til Blackburn i januar – spille, ligesom han  kan bruges helt på toppen. Her huserer også Benedict Mccarthy og Jason Roberts, som begge er angribere lige efter Big Sams hjerte, med fysisk styrke og målnæse.

Væsentlige transfere: Ungt og spændende

Forsvaret er blevet styrket af sidste sæsons lejesvend Gaël Givet, som er kommet til på en permanent kontrakt. Han kan spille både centralt og på venstrebacken. Lars Jakobsen er kommet til højrebacken transferfrit fra Everton, og kan oplagt ses som en direkte erstatning for de seneste års faste mand på pladsen i Blackburn, hollandske Andre Oijer som er taget hjem. Den populære midtbanetyrker Tugay har indstillet karrieren, mens Aaron Mokoena er taget på fri transfer til Portsmouth. Midtbanen er til gengæld blevet styrket af den tidligere FCK’er Elrio Van Heerden, og det 20-årige franske talent Steven N’Zonzi som startede sæsonens første kamp på den defensive midtbane.

Klubbens store stjerne de seneste år, angriberen Roque Santa Cruz, blev efter en længere transfersaga hentet til Manchester City af Mark Hughes som i første omgang lokkede ham fra Bayern Munchen til Blackburn med stor succes. Alt imens er evighedstalentet Matt Derbyshire blevet solgt til græske Olympiakos. Ny i angrebet er til gengæld det 21-årige kroatiske stortalent Nikola Kalinic, som spås en stor fremtid i hjemlandet efter nogle succesfulde år i Hajduk Split. Man venter i øjeblikket ængsteligt på at de sidste papirer falder på plads, så Blackburns nye nummer 22 kan komme på banen. Han menes at have kostet i omegnen af £ 6 millioner. Ligeledes er den argentinske angriber Franco Di Santo blevet lånt i Chelsea.

Forventninger: En ubehagelig overraskelse

Sam Allardyce er en modbydeligt dygtig træner. Han råder i Blackburn over en stor del spillere, som fungerer rigtig godt med den type modbydelige fodbold som den tidligere Bolton-boss gerne vil spille. Derfor bliver møderne med Blackburn et rigtig ubehageligt bekendtskab for alle hold i denne sæson.

Siden jeg oprindeligt nørklede med mit udkast til de endelige placeringer har en række hold forstærket sig, og derfor virker det nu lidt voldsomt at have Blackburn i top-10. Ok, indrømmet: Det virker voldsomt ligegyldig hvad. Ikke desto mindre vil holdet kunne opnå ganske meget, og det tror jeg også de gør; de er fint besat på alle pladser, og især Ryan Nelsen holder højt niveau defensiven. Hvis Mccarthy ydermere forløser sit naturlige talent for at lave mål med alle kropsdele, og han eventuelt kan udvikle et godt makkerskab med den nye unge Kalinic, så er sky’s the limit for Blackburn Rovers. Eller i virkeligheden er 8. pladsen the limit. Men det ville også være udtryk for en hamrende god sæson for Blackburn efter sidste sæsons flirt med nedrykningspladserne.

Tip: Forventet placering: Nummer 9 Supersæson: Nummer 8.

Last Season: 15^th

Say hello to your new teammates: Stephen N’Zonzi, Franco Di Santo, Gael Givet (knows them already to be fair), Lars Jacobsen, Nikola Kalinic.

Highly rated.

Close the door on your way out: Roque Santa Cruz, Matt Derbyshire, Tugay, Aaron Mokoena

Predicted star: Stephen Warnock got good reviews last time out and a midfield role this season should reinforce that. Benni McCarthy could recapture the form of 2006/07. Kalinic could be an instant hit.

Needs a big year: Morten Gamst Pedersen. Has done for a while now.

One to watch: Franco Di Santo had the number 9 shirt at Chelsea but never played. Let’s see if he’s any good.

What they want to happen: Mid-table finish, something interesting to happen, two wins over relegated Burnley.

Nightmare scenario: Relegation battle. Defeat to the Clarets.

Plan A: Physical, direct football which isn’t the worst in the Premier League but by no means the prettiest either. Provide crosses from the wings to the strong men up front. Work those set pieces.

Plan B, just in case: Stick Christopher Samba up front and hoof it up to him.

Predicted finish: 12^th

Why? I think Allardyce is an idiot as a person but as a manager I can accept he’s an effective manager. He stabilised Blackburn last season after the failed Paul Ince experiment and if his time at Bolton is anything to go by, Big Sam is good at punching clubs above their weight. The squad is full of good, strong players who have plenty of experience, coupled with the usual random signings who will turn out to be pretty decent. Roberts, McCarthy and Diouf and new signing Kalinic are a handful for anyone and Di Santo will be interesting to follow.

Fool.

The midfield is on the workmanlike side rather than the creative side but players like Emerton and Reid can certainly turn it on when they feel like it. Defensively Rovers are solid, with Samba and Nelson forming a good partnership. Even Paul Robinson is ok these days. Comfortably mid-table results wise, comfortably bottom three fair play wise.

.

T.

Blackburn manager Paul Ince lavished praise on goalkeeper Paul Robinson, claiming the former England goalkeeper is ready to make that step back onto the international scene.

“He’s been outstanding since I arrived here,” Ince declared.

“He may have lost some focus at Tottenham, but he is now showing the world that he is back to his best – and he is the best keeper in the Premier League. He is at the right age and his kicking is excellent,” Ince added, smiling from ear to ear.

“I would be disappointed if he didn’t start against Germany.”

Ince also took the opportunity to introduce impressive youngster Andy Hawarth to English football, with the 19-year-old looking skilful yet deadly on his senior debut against Sunderland tonight.

“He did some lovely tricks and at times he really looked dangerous,” Ince added.

“When I told him he would be playing tonight he could hardly speak he was so nervous.”

Ince shrugged off suggestions that handing a senior debut to a youngster in a Cup game was a risky business.

“You have to be careful when bleeding youngsters in these sorts of games, but he is one we think will only get better,” Ince admitted.

His counterpart this evening, and former partner in crime Roy Keane was clearly crestfallen that arguably Sunderland’s best chance of silverware this season had slipped through the net once again.

“It’s frustrating – there was not much between the two teams, but we’ve come out on the losing side,” Keane said, clearly disappointed in the result.

“We wanted a win tonight, especially with it being at home.”

Keane did admit that the going is tough at Sunderland at the moment, as his side have now lost four straight matches and are slipping precariously down the table.

“When you are winning matches everyone is praising you.  They want to give you contracts, and you are the best thing in everything you do – you look well, the suit looks good,” he added in a sullen tone.

“But when you start losing matches, people question this and they question that, and I know I should be doing better as manager.”

Keane was adamant, however, that the future of Sunderland is not as gloomy as some would like to believe, and indeed that the future was bright for the red and whites.

Like his old friend, Keane took the opportunity to praise his own youngster, Jordan Henderson, who greatly impressed in only his second senior appearance against Blackburn tonight.

“He put in a very mature performance tonight – kept it simple, and didn’t over complicate the game,” Keane said, somehow cheerier than earlier on in the conversation.

“He is a nice kid, and it’s good to see that innocence in people.”

Keane ended with a rigid defence of his players: “They shouldn’t be criticised, because it all comes down to the manager.”

Bolton Wanderers:

Stiftet: 1874 (som Christ Church FC)

Stadion: Reebok Stadium (Kapacitet: 28.723)

Kælenavn: Trotters, Wanderers, Whites

Seneste tre ligaplaceringer (07/08/09): 7/16/13

Første fem kampe: Sunderland (H), Arsenal (U), Hull (U), Liverpool (H), Portsmouth (U)

Manager: Gary Megson (Siden oktober 2007)

Gary Megson var ikke længe om at få tilnavnet Gary Mugson i Bolton. Ganske vist vekslede han holdets bundplacering til yderligere et år i Premier League da han ankom, men de succesfulde år under Sam Allardyces regime har gjort supporterne på Reebook Stadium forvænte, og de er ikke tilfredse med holdets placeringer i den nedre halvdel af Premier League. Allardyce var manden som førte Bolton tilbage i den bedste række i denne omgang, da han i 2001 førte holdet til play off sejr mod (de evige play off tabere) Presten North End. Allardyce var også manden som førte dem til en liga cup finale, og tre sæsoner med top-10 placeringer. Mest mindeværdigt blev det til en 6. plads i 2005. Ligeledes indstiftede Sam Allardyce en type fodbold i Bolton, som diplomatisk talt var hård og effektiv, og ærlig talt ofte tangerede vold mod såvel modspillere som tilskuere. Det gik i korte træk ud på at tiltvinge sig en masse dødbolde, så man kunne smide en masse spillere ind i feltet for at skabe forvirring. Ideelt set skulle manøvren slutte med at Kevin Davies eller Kevin Nolan skulle sparke virkelig hårdt til bolden i retning af målet. Hvis man gjorde det nok gange i løbet af en kamp kunne man ret tit ende med at gå hen at vinde den. Også spillere som Youri Djorkaeff og Jay-Jay Okocha fik absurd nok lov til at tage del i løjerne.

Efter 8 år i Bolton havde Big Sam imidlertid fået nok. Han ville vinde trofæer inden karrieren løb ud, og den populære Fred Flintstone-lookalike tog til Newcastle (hvor han i øvrigt naturligvis prompte blev fyret). Hans assistent – som naturligvis har en slående lighed med Flintstones joviale nabo Barney – Sammy Lee blev ansat og floppede totalt. Da Barneys manglende kompetencer som boss stod klart, vendte Bolton sig først mod Steve Bruce, som takkede nej. Dernæst fik Chris Coleman chancen, og valgte at sige nej. Dernæst meldte Graeme Souness ud at han i hvert fald ikke ville være Bolton-træner; helt uden nogen havde tilbudt ham jobbet. Til sidst blev den rejsende svend Gary Megson som blev headhuntet fra en stilling i Leicester. Megson formåedet at vende skuden efter Sammy Lee havde sat kurs mod nedrykning, og fulgte i sidste sæson op på præstationen med en respektabel 13. plads. Oven i købet er det siden Megsons mellemkomst blevet observeret at Bolton lejlighedsvis har forsøgt sig med adskillige på hinanden følgende pasninger langs jorden. Træerne vokser dog ikke ind i himlen, og Megsons fodboldfilosofi minder på mange måder om den store fede Sam gjorde Bolton berømt og berygtet for.

Truppen generelt:

Jussi Jaaskelainen har igennem mange sæsoner vist sig at være en god og sikker sidste skanse. Dog er finnen et stykke fra den form, som for et par år siden gjorde ham til en af ligaens bedste. Det er de dog nok ligeglade med i Bolton, hvor han nyder stor popularitet, og faktisk har en realistisk chance for at gå efter rekorden som den spiller der har optrådt flest gange for wanderers. På lørdag markeres hans tiår i klubben med en testimonial mod Hibernian. I forsvaret fik 23-årige Gary Cahill sit store gennembrud i sidste sæson, hvilket blev belønnet med en udtagelse til landsholdstruppen. I centerforsvaret får det tidligere Villa-talent selskab af rutinerede Andrew O’brien. Ellers består bagkæden af endu en tidligere Villan Jlloyd Samuel på venstrebacken og den voldsomt populære Gretar Steinsson på højrebacken. Steinsson er foruden sit kompromisløse spil populær fordi han som af meget få Bolton-spillere rent faktisk har fundet lyst til at bosætte sig i byen.

På midtbanen huserer atter en spiller med en fortid på Villa Park; Gavin Mccann, som lidt uretfærdigt ofte reduceres til en ren bolderobrer selvom hans pasningsspil bestemt ikke er ueffent. Han har selskab centralt af den store, stærke 21-årige Fabrice Muamba som kom til fra Birmingham inden sidste sæson. På venstrekanten kan man opleve Matthew Taylor, som mest er berømt for sit frygtindgydende hårde og præcise spark. Sidste sæson endte bolden i kassen ti gange når Taylor hamrede til den, omend mange nok stadig mest vil huske ham for det vanvittige mål for et par siden da han spillede i Portsmouth, og flugtede bolden i kassen fra midtercirklen mod Everton. Jamaicaneren Ricardo Gardner, der ligesom Jaaskelainen kan fejre ti års jubilæum i år, foretrækker også vestrekanten, men bruges i dag overalt på midtbanen. Stortalentet Mark Davies begyndte yderligere at banke på til en plads på holdet efter nytår.

Helt fremme er Kevin Davies troeligt på plads. Det er han også i toppen af listerne over flest begåede frispark i løbet af en sæson. Det store lokum er en meget vigtig spiller for Bolton, og sidste sæson var en af hans allerbedste for the Trotters, hvor det også blev til 11 mål. Davies har selskab af Johan Elmander, som før sidste sæson blev Boltons dyreste spiller nogensinde. Elmander havde da også en hæderlig første sæson, men mange håber på mere fra rekordsigningen i den kommende. De to skal modstå konkurrencen fra det portugisiske evighedstalent Ricardo Vaz Te, som missede hele sidste sæson med en skade, samt de relativt ubeskrevne blade Mustapha Riga, som fik en del kampe fra bænken sidste år uden rigtig at imponere - og det 19-årige stortalent Temitope Obadeyi.

Væsentlige transfere:

Boltons trup er i skrivende stund fuldstændig intakt fra sidste sæson. Yderligere fire spillere er blevet føjet til. Det drejer sig om tre forsvarsspillere: Æslet Zat Knight (naturligvis fra Aston Villa), Sam Ricketts fra Hull og West Bromwichs anfører og venstreback bowlingkuglen Paul Robinson, som er blevet lånt for sæsonen. Afslutningsvis har man styrket midtbanen med Portsmouths Sean Davies.

Forventninger:

Det kan både blive fugl og fisk med Bolton i år. Det er et hold man slår sig på, de har mange glimrende fodboldspillere rundt omkring, og frem for alt ser det ud til at holdet kan holdes nogenlunde intakt fra den forgangne sæson, hvor det ganske vist blev til et 13-plads, men hvor kun målscoren adskilte dem fra 15. pladsen. Alligevel har jeg fidus til Bolton. Kevin Davies er en utrolig usympatisk fyr. Til gengæld kan han også være en boksspiller af virkelig høj klasse, og sidste sæsons præstationer fra angriberen synes jeg lover rigtig spændende for den nye sæson. Derudover forventer jeg mig meget af Johan Elmander. Manden skuffede nok mange, men det forekommer mig stadig at han er skabt til den engelske tilgang til spillet, og hvis han kommer godt igang, kan han blive en decideret profil.
Hvad jeg gerne vil frem til er altså, at selvom det er temmelig svært at argumentere overbevisende for, så tror jeg at Mugsons Bolton får efter omstændighederne god sæson. På den anden side vil jeg heller ikke blive voldsomt overrasket, hvis holdet kommer til at rode lidt rundt i nedrykningssuppedasen. Med sådan en klar udmelding kan jeg jo næsten komme i betragtning til et job som ekspert på tv…

Tip: Forventet placering: Nummer 12 Supersæson: Hvis mine overvejelser om Davies/Elmander partnerskabet viser sig at holde stik, så kan Bolton sågar mase sig ind i top-10.

So we’re warming up for the new football season here in the UK, with teams across the country getting in some pre-season friendlies and generally trying to get fit again.

Millwall have the potential hangover of a playoff final defeat lingering but the signs seem good so far in pre-season.

One problem we will have is with our defence depending on how the next few days/weeks pan out.

With our captain Paul Robinson and right back Danny Senda both injured it doesn’t help that Zak Whitbread wants a transfer (not takers so far though) as it effectively leaves us with 4 or 5 defenders to fill 4 positions… which just isn’t enough. Hopefully we may sign a few more players before the season starts on Saturday.

And it’s a tough game, Southampton away – one of the ‘big three’ (Southampton, Norwich, Charlton) who were relegated from the Championship last year.

Add in Leeds, MK Dons, Tranmere and Oldham (amongst others) and League One is shaping up to be very competetive indeed.

I’m tipping Leeds and MK Dons for automatic and hoping we can make the playoffs again and maybe win it this time.

In the Championship it’s all about Newcastle – either they are tipped for the title or generally being laughed at. I don’t think they will get automatic but they have enough strength in depth to make the playoffs… depending on who they put in charge.

For the other teams that came down I expect West Brom will be up there and for Middlesbrough I think it hinges on the impact of Alves and new signing Leroy Lita. If those two fire there is no reason they can’t push for promotion straight back up.

Reading and Derby will both be dangerous and it’ll be interesting to see what Roy Keane gets out of the players at Ipswich.

In the Premier League the apparent loss of Alonso at Liverpool will really hurt their title chances despite the threat of Gerrard and Torres.

Manchester United will have to work extra hard to retain the title, although the shrewd signing of Michael Owen could tip the balance in their favour if he stays fit. Chelsea’s new coach has a lot of work to do but has the squad to push even harder for the title in 2010, along with that elusive Champions League trophy.

You can never write off Arsenal but their 4th place is really under threat from the likes of Aston Villa, Everton, Manchester City and even Spurs.

I suspect Hull have had their time in the Premier League unless Jimmy Bullard returns in top form and I’d tip Burnley (as much as I’d love them to stay up) and Wolves or Wigan to join them in the drop – but there will be plenty of teams dragged into the fight.

Down in League Two it seems to be another competitive, tight league and I suspect you’ll be looking at three from Barnet, Bournemouth, Dagenham & Redbridge, Crewe, Rotherham, and Bradford for the promotion places but I expect Northampton and Port Vale to also be strong.

Grimsby need a change of fortunes to avoid being sucked out of the league along with Shrewsbury who have been treading water in League Two of late.

It’ll be interesting to see if Burton and Torquay can survive, with the latter looking more likely.

It’s looking like a great season ahead in all the leagues and I’ll be keeping an interested eye on everything that’s going on as the season progresses.

Nike's latest, high tech inflated pig's bladder

Nike today unveiled their latest assault on the wallets of gullible football fans with the launch of the new T90 Ascente ball, which in a complete change with tradition is round, mostly white and has some pseudo-technological design which makes it look as if it was merchandise from the latest “Transformers” film that even McDonald’s thought was too tacky to give away with happy meals.

A Nike spokesman claimed that the new ball’s design and graphics would enable players to see the ball earlier because it features ‘flicker’ technology which is specially designed to show up in the players peripheral vision. According to their tests it allows the players to react to the ball up to 2 picoseconds sooner, and it only causes nausea and epileptic  seizures in 0.4% of the population.

Nike also claims that the ball is rounder than ever before and the surface is dimpled causing it to move faster through the air, Nike ball designer, Raphael Ortega, explained “The ball is textured like a golf ball enabling even talentless players to put spin on it, kick it just off centre and it’ll swerve like a bastard. This ball is going to make goalkeepers look like the twats that they are.”

“Thanks to our close association with NASA we’ve been able to include modern aerodynamic technology meaning that if you kick this baby in the sweet spot it will actually accelerate through the air, gaining speed in a direct contradiction of Newton’s Third Law of Motion”.

However despite Nike’s assurances that this will be the best ball ever, even better than classics like the Tango ball, the Mitre one with the red stripe and the beautiful white one with black hexagons which everyone agrees is how a proper football should look, some players, especially goalkeepers are skeptical.

Paul Robinson, Blackburn’s goalkeeper, has gone on record as saying “These new balls are a nightmare, every year they get a bit lighter and they do something to them that gives them all the predictability of a pissed up driver on a skid pan, making life a misery for top notch keepers like me. Why can’t we go back to the old leather balls with the laces which strikers struggled to kick more than 12 yards?”

The T90 Ascente will be produced in three different variants, “Hyper manic” for the Premier League, “Super control” for La Liga and “Distinctly average” for Serie A, each costing a whopping £85.

Dawson - Sunderland Target

Et`o - Rebuffed By Man Utd

As usual on a Sunday, today there was more gossip than actual facts regarding the Premier League. The day started in the early hours with a rumour of Aston Villa launching a £12million bid for Middlesborough winger Stewart Downing, then stories emerged that Sunderland were hoping to grab Tottenham`s Michael Dawson.

The main story today however focused once again on John Terry staying leaving staying leaving Chelsea, yes it has become something of a merry-go-round with JT but although most of the rumours affecting the Chelsea defender eminate from the press, the main focus this time was whether John Tery was playing a game with Chelsea in an effort to increase his current deal to £150,000 per week.

It`s a plausible story because as we all know most footballers are mercenary, club loyalty means little because money is always the motivator.  Stories suggested Terry had crisis talks with Abramovic and he insisted he be given permission to talk to City to hear for himself what they had to offer.  Whether he was given that permission we dont know yet, but the story becomes more intriguing as reports suggest that Terry was on holiday in Dubai which just happened to be the place where it`s rumoured Mark Hughes, City manager was also staying.  No doubt Terry will hog the headlines again in the coming week, but one thing is for sure most of us are becoming a bit bored now with the on-off move regarding John Terry.

Piennar - Contract talks

Torres - Plenty Of Bids

Early on Sunday Samuel Eto`o was linked with a bid from Manchester United but as the day progressed reports suggested that United were not interested.  Everton`s Steven Piennar and Spurs Tom Huddlestone and Johnathan Woodgate requested contract talks, Chelsea became linked with Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Arsenal defender Philippe Senderos was attracting interest from Sunderland.

Cool as a cucumber Rafa Benitez announced that Fernando Torres has had plenty of Premier League clubs bid for him over the summer period, Arsene Wenger was rumoured to be preparing a bid for Blaise Matuidi of St Etienne after losing out on signing Melo and talking of Arsenal, Birmingham City appeared on the scene with a reported interest in Armand Traore.

So, with lots of frantic gossip flying around most of which we need to take with a pinch of salt, did any exciting transfers actually take place today?  In short, No.  Unless that is you count Frazier Campbell of Man United joining Sunderland or Bolton signing Paul Robinson from West Brom as exciting.

Campbell - Off to Sunderland

Robinson - Joins Bolton

Oh well, with Monday fast approaching we think this week will be a very exciting week in the transfer market, our guess is that Tevez will join Man City, the John Terry saga will finally come to a conclusion and our crystal ball says that something big will be announced from Manchester United, we will see!

But one thing is for certain, when the stories break you will hear about them here at PremierLeagueBuzz so bookmark our site now.

Liverpool are bracing themselves for two bids worth nearly a combined £60m from Real Madrid and Barcelona for Alonso and his fellow midfielder Javier Mascherano.

Alonso - Possible Target

Unsettled Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko is considering an offer to join Dynamo Kiev, the president of the Ukrainian champions has said.

Michael Owen could be offered a basic wage of a paltry £20,000-a-week, with performance-related bonuses taking him close to the £110,000-a-week he earned at Newcastle.

Chairman Jeremy Peace has hinted West Brom may be prepared to sell Paul Robinson, but only on their terms, with Bolton upping their bid to £750,000. 

Crouch - Possible £12million Bid

AC Milan could make a remarkable £12m bid for Portsmouth striker Peter Crouch if they fail to sign Arsenal’s Emmanuel Adebayor.

Portsmouth defender Sol Campbell is considering a shock move to Championship club Newcastle United.

Wolves chief executive Jez Moxey denies reports that Leicester have made a £1.5m bid for Republic of Ireland striker Andy Keogh.

Chelsea are the only club to have submitted a formal bid, of about £40m, for Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery – but the French international wants to join Real Madrid.

Former Italy striker Christian Vieri, 35, is set to sign for Blackburn Rovers.

Goalkeeper Kelvin Davis, 32, will seal his move from Southampton to West Ham on Monday.

Everton are set to raid Leeds to sign highly-rated defender Luke Garbutt in a £1m deal.

Barcelona have risked the wrath of Arsenal by making an approach for midfielder Cesc Fabregas.

Bayern Munich have not given up hope of signing Jose Bosingwa from Chelsea, according to their chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge.

Aston Villa are weighing up a potential £8m bid for 22-year-old Swedish striker Marcus Berg, who impressed at the recent Euro Under-21 Championship.

Tottenham will have to pay £12m to sign Lille’s 25-year-old Brazilian midfielder Michel Bastos.