1. if all the anguish and brutality of the world
exist for reasons other than
to bring us extraordinary poems,
i fail to understand
what those reasons are

as in:
honestly, i don’t think i could rationalize
any of the violence
unless it was self-defense, survival
but it helps
to try to build a framework
around something
so senesless

2. triple ginger spice cookies
i want to paste a link here
that instead of a youtube video
or image
would connect you to this smell

3. line picture line
with live go go dancers
paula abdul pandora station

4. home-baked crackers
and carrot butter

5. first day
of all rain
as we dive deeper
into the too thick darkness

6. i’ve been thinking about resilience
how brave living can be
choosing to move forward
through the losses

7. fever ray
on repeat
sound provides structure

8. and still
we don’t know what to do
with all the genocide
we mention colonialism
but we have not found a way
to reverse history

Paula Abdul

Straight Up

Paula Abdul – Straight Up

96.7 BOB FM – 80’s VIDEO – Paula Abdul – Straight Up!

Paula Abdul – Straight Up

Paula Abdul – Straight Up (Video)

Paula Abdul – Straight Up

Straight Up Lyrics // Paula Abdul

Straight Up – Paula Abdul

Lost in a dream
I don’t know which way to go
A-let me say, if you are all that you seem
Then, baby, I’m movin’ way too slow
I’ve been fooled before
Wouldn’t like to get my love
Caught in the slammin’ door
How about some information, please?

(Chorus:)
Straight up, now tell me
Do you really wanna love me forever
Oh, oh, oh
Or am I caught in a hit-and-run?
Straight up, now tell me
Is it gonna be you and me together
Oh, oh, oh
Or are you just havin’ fun?

Time’s standing still
Waiting for some small clue
A-let me tell you now, I keep getting chills
When I think your love is true
I’ve been fooled before
Wouldn’t like to get my love
Caught in the slammin’ door
How about some information, please?

(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge 1:)
You are so hard to read
You play hide-and-seek
With your true intentions
If you’re only playin’ games
I’ll just have to say
A b-b-b-bye, b-b-b-bye

(Bridge 2:)
Do, do you love me?
(Do, do you love me, baby?)
Do, do you love me?
(Do, do you love me? A-hey, baby)
Do, do you love me?
(Do, do you love me, baby?)
Do, do you love me?
(Do, do you love me?)
A-tell me, baby

I’ve been a fool before
Wouldn’t like to get my love
Caught in the slammin’ door
Are you more than hot for me
Or am I a page in your history book?
I don’t mean to make demands
But the word and the deed
Go hand in hand
How about some information, please?

(Repeat chorus until fade)

Paula Abdul – Blowing Kisses In The Wind

Paula Abdul – Rush, Rush (Video)

Straight up: Paula Abdul exits ‘American Idol’

QVC CEO Mike George

Then back in October, we couldn’t believe it when a sharp-eyed poster on QVC’s jewelry forum said that upscale jewelry designer Stephen Dweck, whose chunky gemstone masterpieces are featured in Neiman Marcus, was on the No. 1 home shopping network’s schedule. THE Stephen Dweck?

We checked QVC’s program guide ourselves, and there it was: Dweck was doing a lower-priced jewelry line for QVC called Dweck’s Diamonds. His Neiman Marcus pieces didn’t even have diamonds. The high-end stuff is made with semi-precious stones.

Also in October, we were checking the press releases on HSN’s Web site when we saw the network had struck a deal with one of the most famous and elite fashion houses: Badgley Mischka, designers of bejeweled gowns for the red carpet and celebrities.

We’ve written bits and pieces of this during the past two months, but we thought we’d tie it all up in a tidy package for Thanksgiving: There has been a sea change in the home shopping world, prompted by the disastrous economy and the crash of the luxury market.

Yes, home shopping networks have seen their sales hurt by the economy, like everyone else. But they claim they are still managing to steal market share from brick-and-mortar retailers. In fact, QVC is making a full-frontal assault on them this Black Friday, with 28 hours of special products and programming stunts starting Thanksgiving night.

The consumer press will continue to mention “cubic zirconia” in every story it writes about QVC or HSN, oblivious to the fact that some of the most esteemed names in fashion, jewelry and cosmetics — brands you find in Saks, Bloomingdale’s and Neiman Marcus — are plying their wares on the aforementioned home shopping channels.

ShopNBC CEO Keith Stewart

Male journalists are blind to this. You still have the nerds at Gawker, a snide Web Site for the navel-gazing media, chiding HSN for selling “useless crap.”

If you have ever seen how male journalists dress or their fashion and style sensibilities, you will realize that you can’t expect them to know names like Badgley Mischka, Judith Ripka, Robert Lee Morris, our fellow Montclair, N.J., resident Bobbi Brown, Yves Saint Laurent, Smashbox, Lancome and Dweck. And these brands and artists don’t represent “useless crap.”

Luxury-good makers are hurting, and they need to make up their loss in sales. So they are turning to outlets like QVC, as CEO Mike George explained at a recent Liberty Media conference, as outlets to distribute new lower-priced lines to the masses. George cited fashion designer Vivienne Tam’s QVC alliance at the meeting held in Manhattan by his parent company, Liberty.

“This complete implosion of luxury retailing in America has caused all these folks to rethink their business model,” George said.

And that means partnering with QVC, HSN or ShopNBC.

As we said, it will take the consumer press years to figure out that home shopping channels are distribution powerhouses that have undergone a transformation, in part because of the infllux of talent like a Morris, who does couture jewelry for designers like Donna Karan and RLM Studio sterling silver jewelry for QVC.

The Big Three — QVC, HSN and ShopNBC — are aggressively trying to broaden their audience and potential customer base, those who don’t normally watch any of these three networks. That means the three are actually “programming” the channels, doing “shows” that have entertainment value, not just product shilling, so they will attract non-QVC or non-HSN watchers.

We remember once interviewing a QVC exec years ago and asking what the network’s ratings were. He said ratings were irrelevant: QVC was only concerned about how many products were sold in an hour.

HSN CEO Mindy Grossman

That’s a totally different tune from what we heard recently from QVC’s George, and from the strategies that HSN CEO Mindy Grossman and ShopNBC CEO Keith Stewart have initiated.

Like traditional TV networks, the home shopping players want viewers to “sample” a QVC or an HSN. These new audience members, hopefully, will then see products that they want to buy.

For example, singer Natalie Cole recently did a live concert on HSN to promote a new Holiday CD set she is selling on the channel. If you’re a fan, you might tune in to HSN to see her, and then actually decide to purchase her CD. Artists such
as Jose Feliciano have also performed live on QVC.

QVC alum Stewart on a recent third-quarter conference call pointed out that actress-entrepeneur Suzanne Somers, who came to ShopNBC from HSN, had succeeded in attracting new viewers to Minneapolis-based ShopNBC because she was “entertaining.” And these networks want new eyeballs.

And home shopping networks’ capacity to reach millions of consumers and do fulfillment of orders has not been lost on magazine publishers, celebrities or cable’s reality TV stars. With circulation falling, women’s magazines such as Lucky, Allure, Glamour and Self are partnering with HSN to sell subscriptions.

And stars have seen the light. In a recent interview in Oprah Winfey’s O magazine, Joan Rivers, who’s had a jewelry line on QVC for almost 20 years, told O she was on home shopping when “nobody except dead celebrities was doing merchandise on TV.”

Nowadays, it’s hard to find a celebrity or TV star who doesn’t have a home shopping line. Even Madonna was interviewed on HSN when she was selling her children’s book.

Here’s a partial list:

Paula Abdul, HSN, formerly “American Idol,” Fox

Rachel Zoe, QVC, “The Rachel Zoe Project,” Bravo

Isaac Mizrahi, QVC, “The Fashion Show,” Bravo

Padma Lakshmi, HSN, “Top Chef,” Bravo

Ramona Singer, HSN, “The Real Housewives of New York City,” Bravo

Susan Lucci, HSN, “All My Children,” ABC

Carson Kressley, QVC, “How to Look Good Naked,” Lifetime Television

Dr. Robert Rey, ShopNBC, “Dr. 90210,” E! Entertainment Television

Tori Spelling, HSN, “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood,” Oxygen

Paula Deen, QVC, Food Network

Rachael Ray, QVC, “The Rachael Ray Show,” syndication

Ingrid Hoffmann, HSN, Food Network and Univision

Home shopping is a big business. ShopNBC is the also-ran in the group, but in the third quarter Stewart made some nice progress cutting its losses. Sales for the Big Three were all down, but down less than previous quarters.

And we are not talking chump change for these networks. The three home shopping channels generated $8.3 billion in net revenue in 2008. QVC domestic posted $4.9 billion, HSN netted $2.8 billion and ShopNBC had $568 million.

Even with revenue still slipping this year, for the first nine months QVC had revenue of $3.308 billion; HSN had net sales of $1.4 billion; and ShopNBC had $372.6 million in net sales.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know the suspense is killing you…so let me just start with…Paula Abdul was YET AGAIN absent.

But if I can move on from the initial disappointment…the rest of the night…was fantastic! ANd if Paula WAS there, she would not have been able to ar…tic…ulate…the brilliance that the top 12 displayed tonight.

Each pair had one more week together before “the split”, and performed two dances each (I get giddy when we start getting a double dose of entertainment!) Here are the highlights:

Ballroom Ryan and Ellenore -Lindy Hop and Broadway

• started the night off with a bang…doing the dance my grandpa did during wartimes…a nostalgic and joyous gem of a Lindy Hop! the cotumes were fantastic (I almost didnt mind that Ryan had a shirt on…it worked)
• Ellenore proved that she could be a stand out in the coming weeks…she is different and quirky…and I know her name after tonight, so she scored big points with me.
• The broadway routine was just as charismatic, proving it is NOT just Ryans chest that gets them votes.
• They definitly got lucky pulling two very memorable styles of dance..shoo-in for top 10…hate to see thme break up…but I cannot wait for Ballroom Ryan to dance with his wifey in the coming weeks!

Russel and pretty partner- Samba and Contemporary

• Russel pulls off a headband, tight pants and open-fronted vests better than any b-boy I’ve seen.
• Samba was a little bit forgettable…poor Russel has had ballroom and latin dances more than anyone else…
• Contemporary piece was one of the dances of the night! It also fulfilled one of my (many) fantasies…painting yourself while dancing…beautiful routine.
• The girl that dances with Russel is good, but remains nameless to me…I hope that doesnt have an affect on voters…I still think they are Top 10.

Ballroom Ryan’s Wifey and Billy Elliott- Contemporary and Cha Cha Cha

• Their first number was beautiful, the choreographer made sure to highlight Billy Elliotts INSANE flexibility and leaping forte.
• purple jeans…shudder.
• The Cha Cha Cha was Ashleighs coming out party. You know the scenes in “She’s All that” or “Miss Coneniality“, where the seemingly gawky, nerdy or unassuming girl gets a makeover and turns into the hottest thing since Shakiras hips…and everyone gasps, music swells….The Cha Cha Cha was Ashleighs makeover scene! She was a poly-sci major…Sarah Palin is officially the SECOND hottest politics geek.
• my favourite pair of the night…easy top 10.

Legacy and Noelle – Contemporary and Ballroom

• Legacy does the most amazing entrance to a number I’ve seen on the show…backwards crab-walk. (shirtless…)
• Ballroom piece was rough. (fully clothed)
• Legacy is a smart cookie. And he knows how to work the judges. After the Ballroom number, he starts to cry BEFORE the judges critique him…saying he wants to inspire hope….nicely played sir. Nigel even comments on how hard it will be to provide a fair evaluation…judges eating out of his hands at this point.

Mollee and Nathan -Hip Hip and The Can Can

• Hip Hop number based around the invention of the telephone…considering both of these kids grew up after the invention of the CELL phone…this was awkward.
• Nathan must be seriously benfitting from the Taylor Lautner craze…he’s a longer-haired look-alike…same abs.
• The Can-Can was very…pink.
• the number was fun, bubblegum and lollipops…but a little too precocious for my taste…and again, they are literally stuffing their tweeny-bop personas down my throat…
• Perhaps in danger this week…if not , it will be interesting to see each of them “split” and try to keep up with WOMEN and MEN partners…

Victor and JLO- Tango and Hip Hop

• Back performing a steamy, sultry routine, JLO was back in her element.
• Nigel tells Victor to “tuck in his bum”… he cant help it, he has a ‘contemporary’ bum Nigel!
• The Hip Hop routine was billed in the pre-video as a powerful statement portraying the struggle to ‘move mountain’ in this competition…unfortunatly the song was too literal ( “Move Mountains” by Usher), and the dance lacked creativity. It was a little bit lackluster…and neither dancers are string enough in personality to shine through.
• JLO (karen) has had a journey much akin to the REAL J-LO— in which she came out of the gate sexy and edgy…but over time has faded into the background …if a comeback is in the works…lets hope she doesnt fall on HER bum!

Results show tomorrow night…

Antes quero avisar que se vocês clicarem nas fotos podem ver os vídeos.

O que foi o show da Janet Jackson? Ela quase não dançou, fez playback, errou um passo…Sem comentários.

Além disso, houveram problemas técnicos, como quando Paula Abdul ficou falando com o vento porque o microfone não funcionava.

A abertura da performance da Shakira foi super maneira antes de ela começar a cantar, a música também é legal mas não sou muito fã.

A apresentação da Lady Gaga estranha, sei que ela gosta de causar e tudo mais mas apesar do fogo, a roupa esquisita (aquilo era para ser um alce?) e ela quebrando vidros, não foi tão chocante quanto Paparazzi no VMAs. A apresentação do Black Eyed Peas idem. Meio mamão com açúcar, mas gostei das cores.

O grande momento OMG e talvez o único, foi a volta triunfante de Whitney Houston. Ela estava linda! E a voz dela ainda melhor! Espero que ela realmente tenha abandonado as drogas.

Adam Lambert fez de seu debut uma grande palhaçada, simulando sexo oral no palco. Além da falta de vergonha na cara, achei um desrespeito. Se quer aprender a causar com classe, pergunte à Lady Gaga.

Em resumo, achei que o AMA 2009 foi normal, não diria bom porque não teve nenhuma apresentação OMG além da Whitney Houston.

Worst-Dressed: Kelly Clarkson

Oh Kel’, this is NOT a good look for you. The hair, the makeup, the HORRIBLE, weird, faux-bustier action dress; this is just a total mess. You need to hire a new team of people, or maybe it’s you. Come on Kelly!

Best-Dressed: Paula Abdul + Leona Lewis

Paula looked classic and totally ahhmazing in Enzoani.

Leona rocked a younger, edgier Vivienne Westwood dress that she looked absolutely fierce in. Isn’t it funny that everyone who made this list has had their stint on reality music shows?

]]> http://themerrymans.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/wait-i-have-seen-this-dress-before-on-me/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:43:04 +0000 shan939 http://themerrymans.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/wait-i-have-seen-this-dress-before-on-me/

Photo Credit: Getty Images

I spent countless hours and tried on hundreds (seriously, hundreds) of dresses to find my wedding dress. During all of the fittings, veil matching, and coordination of jewelry and shoes, I had learned every detail of my dress.  I know the lace pattern, the thick netting in the lace (this I learned because my Mom hated this part of the dress), the way that the lace grazes the top edge of the dress, and the bottom scalloped edge! I even know what the lining under the dress looks like!

So, last night I happened to look over at the TV to see Paula Abdul presenting at the American Music Awards. The first thing I saw was this black, lace, mermaid dress that looked strikingly similar to my wedding dress. I hit rewind and watched her walk out again – Yes this was my wedding dress! I knew it was but I needed proof to seal the deal.

This morning on Perez Hilton I found this:

from www.perezhilton.com

Confirmed, ENZOANI gown!

Thankfully, my life-long supporter, my Mom, told me that I looked better in it! That’s what Mom’s are for right?!

UPDATE: My husband just told me I looked better in it too!

Last night’s American Music Awards was such a train wreck of unfulfilled expectations that you could hardly blame one for thinking that the Obama administration, not Dick Clark Productions, must have been responsible for it.

I say that (only partly) because I’m not exactly sure that Dick Clark is even still alive. But when dead people who released no music this year win 5 awards (Michael Jackson), being alive was kinda beside the point at this spectacle.

So, for the most part, was singing live.

Things got off to an ominous start when Paula Abdul welcomed the audience into a dead microphone.

Then out came Janet Jackson who is apparently so grief stricken over Michael’s  death that she was inspired/used it as an opportunity to revive her decade long moribund career by dropping 20 pounds and a new greatest hits CD so she could lip synch and show off dance moves so dated that they’re in clear danger of being eligible for a revival.

Later in the show Jeniffer Lopez took pretty much the same route considering her career has been on life support  since “Waiting for Tonight,” which in 1999 turned out to be the anthem for ushering in the new Millennium. Last night she sang about leaving an uncooperative lover as she puts on impossibly expensive and vertiginous red soled  killer heels (Louboutins). Only  problem: she fell flat on her fabled asset while attempting her Katie Holmes-like dance moves and this morning she’s suffering  from a bruised ego (if not also a hip).

The highly cloying Taylor Swift who won 4 awards last night was on hand only via satelite from London where she was rehearsing for a concert at Wembley Arena. Keeping her off stage was perhaps the smartest move the producers could have made, considering she undeservedly (again) won the evening’s biggest award. Now the smartest thing she should do is call Debbie Gibson for career advice. And swiftly, as she’s at about minute 13 on her fame trajectory.

In the battle of the country divas, Keith Urban won handily over Carrie Underwood because he’s prettier and he showed more cleavage.  But he also fared better because he  didn’t scream his trite lyrics  and his performance didn’t look as if someone had shaken a  snow globe so that the awkward  moving Ms Underwood could appear as if she was engaging/engaged in some sort of dance number.

And herein lies the problem with much of last night’s telecast.  Most of the performers were overreaching for visual images instead of connecting to an audience– as if the overwrought visuals could possibly make up for  poorly written songs, the inability to carry a tune or just sheer lack of stage presence.

That’s what music videos are for.

The  performers who acquitted themselves with any dignity were the ones who actually sang.  By that I mean live and into their working microphones, most notably  Kelly Clarkson, Jay Z with Alicia Keys and Whitney Houston.

Coincidentally these were the 3 performances which brought down the house before the kitchy  and already overexposed Adam Lambert failed and, let’s be very clear, failed miserably to blow the roof off the place, as had been hyped.

Ms Clarkson got a much deserved standing ovation for her performance of “Already Gone,” a song essentially about knowing when to cut your losses. And boy does she.  She came, she sang, she conquered. How a singer this good and this smart wasn’t the big winner last night is beyond me.  Although she didn’t sound as perfectly heartbreaking as she did on VH1 Divas 2009 , she performed early enough in the show that by the time Jay Z came on to imperially command the room with “Empire State of Mind,” an ode to New York City as much as to his own undeniable artistic empire, she had already set the standard for the evening.

And by the time Whitney Houston came out in a glorious Kaufman Franco white gown, with beatific white stage lighting and a bad wig, it was a good thing Ms Clarkson was already gone. There’s just no denying that Ms Houston has irreparably damaged her voice with years and years of drug abuse but last night  in a gut wrenching confessional that lasted  a few fleeting minutes she managed to  use the detritus to her advantage in “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength,” a song  about hard won lessons from your own resurrection.

That performance, at once delusional and pathetic but emotionally raw and brutally honest, brought to mind both Billie Holiday and Marianne Faithfull, women with drug ravaged voices which remain powerfully alive because they wear their heart on their sleeve and not because they wear us down with visual pyrotechnics.

TheBestDressedList.com

TomKolovos.com

Toda segunda vou escolher um Red Carpet que rolou no fim de semana anterior para mostrar os looks das celebrities. E o evento dessa semana foi o American Music Awards, que rolou domingo dia 22/11/2009.

Separei os looks por cores, e olha só o que rolou por lá.

O nude continua em alta, seja no longo rendado de Nicole Kidman ou no cinto de Kristen Bell. Meus favoritos com certeza!

O pretinho básico aparece não tão básico assim em longos e curtos, bordados ou lisos.

O preto apareceu também acompanhado de muito brilho.

Os tons marrons apareceram misturados entre si, ou com o preto de J.Lo.

Cores vibrantes ganharam destaque em duas versões.

E é claro que o figurino de Lady Gaga e Rihanna no palco precisavam chamar atenção.

If you know me in real life, then it’s fairly apparent from my significant hind end that I don’t just look at food—I eat it.  However, when I’m not busy cramming food into my pie hole, I do enjoy watching Food Network (FN). It’s fairly entertaining, tolerable when nothing else is on, often educational, and always family friendly.  I don’t have to worry about my daughter walking in on two sous-chefs ripping off their aprons and going at it on the counter or a crazed Mario standing over Alton Brown’s corpse with a bloody knife.

We don’t watch every show, because there are some not relevant to our palate, a few that make no sense, one or two that have no entertainment value whatsoever (I’m looking at you Chefs v. City), and a handful with hosts who are just downright annoying. (*cough* Sandra Lee *cough*)

Nevertheless, we’re pretty avid fans of anything A.B. does, FN Challenge (except barbecue—yawn), and Ace of Cakes. (Aside: It used to be, when asked about my “dream job,” I’d say meteorologist—I’m weird, I know—but now I’d probably say working at Charm City Cakes.) But our “must see” favorites are by far Iron Chef America (ICA) and Chopped.

Now for those of you who don’t get cable under your rocks, or spend your TV time watching crap, ICA is the Americanized adaptation of a Japanese TV program featuring “battles” between well-established, celebrity chefs and accomplished, albeit lesser-known, guest chefs. Battles are centered around a certain ingredient, such as a particular species of fish, or variants of a fruit or vegetable, such as cherries.  After a timed session in the kitchen, chefs present their culinary creations to a panel of three judges.  ICA judging panels are typically composed of random third-tier celebrities whose only association with food is that they eat, various other foodies, and food writers like that fat drunk who thinks he’s hilarious but is actually a complete douche bag. The winner gets bragging rights and some level of prestige within the culinary world.

Chopped is designed on a similar premise, pitting four budding chefs against each other in a series of cooking challenges including an appetizer, entree, and dessert.  After each course, a chef is eliminated, or “chopped,” until there are two left battling over dessert.  The twist here is that instead of one secret ingredient, each round is centered on three or four mystery components, several of which have no culinary connection.  For instance, a typical entree round might include shrimp, some random root vegetable from the Middle East, peanut butter, and a tire gauge. The chefs must incorporate all four ingredients into their respective dishes.  The winner here receives $10,000, which is not a bad deal for a couple of crab cakes made from potato chips and shower caulk.  There is also panel of three judges, and their critiques can be…well…brutal, except for Aarooooooooooon  Sanchez, who is, without a doubt, the Paula Abdul of the culinary set. (Your salad looks so nice! You’re a star!)

Anyway, my point (and yes, I do have one) is that competitors on both programs seem to run into the same problems again and again.  And so, in an effort to help any aspiring ICA or Chopped contestants who might stumble upon my rantspace, I’ve developed some helpful hints for success on each program.

Iron Chef America

1.  Pick Bobby Flay.  Nobody ever beats anyone else.  I’m not saying Bobby Flay isn’t a great chef, I’m just saying, if you want to win, picking Cat Cora is a baaaaad idea.  And stay away from Morimoto, too, because if there is fish of any kind, you are screwed. Mario can make pasta out of a dishrag and Michael Symon is just downright scary. Stick with Flay and you’ve got a chance.

2.  Prior to performing in “Kitchen Stadium,” visit a restaurant supply store.  Ask to be demonstrated the uses of each and every gadget in sight.  Pay attention to the little things like how to get the lid off (or on) and where the power switch might be.  And, if possible, ask for remediation with regard to can openers.  I’m not sure how it is that so many quasi-professional chefs are unable to open a can of condensed milk, but there it is.

3.  Stay away from the ice cream machine unless you intend to make actual dessert. Nobody wants to eat spinach sorbet. NOBODY.

Chopped

1. Watch the show.  If I had one piece of advice for ambitious Choppers, it would be this.  WATCH. THE. SHOW.  It’s like the contestants have no clue what’s going on. Durrr what’s this basket…durrr I can’t find the milk…durrr…I grabbed a knife by the blade…If you WATCH THE SHOW, then the rest will naturally follow.

2. Don’t use garnish.  I know, I know, the celery leaves make the plate all pretty pretty princess, but just say no.  Geoffrey and Chris don’t like garnish and won’t hesitate to make you look like an idiot by asking, “Am I supposed to eat this half-a-lemon?”

3.  Practice good hygiene.  This should really go without saying in any kitchen, but on Chopped it is especially crucial, especially if Alex is a judge.  Make no doubt, she is watching you, your spoon, your hands, your mouth and everything in between to see if you commit some unforgiveable germ error.  And for the love of Pete, de-vein your shrimp. PLEASE.

4.  Prior to taping, walk to your home pantry and remove the sugar canister. Bring it to the counter.  Now fetch your saltshaker.  Sprinkle a fifty-cent piece sized pile of salt into one hand. Feel the texture of it with your fingers.  Smell it.  Make note of the obvious scent of sodium.  Look at the crystals.  Now empty your hand and repeat with the sugar. Notice it’s a slightly finer grain.  Perhaps it even smells sweet.  LEARN THE DIFFERENCE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.  I mean, COME. ON.  I am, by no means, a “cook” by any stretch of the imagination.  I am most definitely a kitchen amateur, but in my 25+ years of cooking I have never, ever, EVER mistaken salt for sugar.  Seriously.  How is this even an issue?  If all else fails, and you’re not sure, taste it before you add it.

5.  Refer to Iron Chef America advice item No. 2.  Where it reads, “can opener,” replace with “food processor.”

6. Easy on the hot stuff.  Geoffrey Z. and Amanda have excruciatingly sensitive palates.  If Geoffrey so much as smells cayenne, you’re toast.  And if Amanda reaches for her water glass?  Fugettaboutit.

7.  Stop cutting yourselves.  It’s embarrassing.  I realize it happens to everyone, but please.  Just pay attention to what you’re doing so I don’t have to watch you scurrying around trying to find a Band-Aid and bleeding into the risotto, which, by the way, will never finish cooking in the allotted time.

It has occurred to me that maybe the contestants aren’t as…um…thick…as they seem and perhaps it is the FN production staff just having a bit of fun.  What if we disconnect all but one of that stove’s burners? Hey! Let’s hide the cinnamon!  I know! I know! Turn up the heat in the studio so they can’t stop dripping sweat onto the counter!

Hmmm.  Maybe that’s my dream job.

Here is Adam Lambert backstage before his performance on the American Music Awards, his interviews For Your Entertainment and his killer performance on the show.

It’s like the before, during and after of a Rock Star!

adam lambert american music awards 2009 idea girl consulting

Adam Lambert Paula Abdul 2009 American Music Awards

Summersern on youtube says;

The 36th Annual American Music Awards 2009
Eminem and Lady Gaga have been added to the performer lineup for the American Music Awards. The 37th annual show, which airs on ABC live from Los Angeles on November 22, will also feature performances from Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lopez, the Black Eyed Peas and, in the television debut of the title track from his upcoming album For Your Entertainment, Adam Lambert.

Watch American Music Awards online

The American Music Awards show is one of four annual major American music awards shows. The AMAs were created by Dick Clark in 1973 to compete with the Grammys after the move of that year’s show to Nashville, Tennessee led to CBS picking up the Grammy telecasts after its first two in 1971 and 1972 were broadcast on ABC.

American Music Awards AMA Eminem “Lady Gaga” Jay-Z “Alicia Keys” “Jennifer Lopez” “Black Eyed Peas” “Adam Lambert” “Snoop Dogg” “Paula Abdul” performer lineup 37th annual show ABC live Los Angeles November 22 2009 nominees Country Latin Soul RnB Band Pop Rock Alternative “red carpet”

Hey, trend trackers!

Check out what guests at the 2009 American Music Awards rocked on the red carpet.

Rihanna

Selena Gomez

Shakira

Keri Hilson

Kristen Bell

Kelly Clarkson

Leona Lewis

Alicia Keys

Melody Thornton

Colbie Caillat

Carrie Underwood

Paula Abdul

Jennifer Lopez as Jennifer Beals as Alex Owens; image courtesy of vh1.com

After last night’s assessment of Nine, I’ve still got screen musical adaptations on the brain tonight. So I thought I’d draw our attention to one more, and add music video that references screen musical stars from the genre’s golden era, and another that recreates an 80s blockbuster many believe to be a screen musical of sorts (and whose protagonist shares a version of my namesake).

If you want to note that all three of the artists are women of color and international pop sensations praised for their dancing and maligned for their limited vocal ranges, gold stars for you. If you want to weep over the slurred, siliconed mess Paula has become and hope that Glee does an all-Janet episode, shake your fists at FOX. If you want to posit what it means that these movies seem to have influenced the performers and may tap into their dance training and on-screen personae, let’s chat in the comments section.

First up is an oldie but a goodie from my youth. While I hadn’t seen Bob Fosse’s All That Jazz when Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted” started its rotation on MTV, it’s pretty clear that its takes its from the movie’s ”Take Off With Us” section. As if the direct mention wasn’t enough in the clip’s introduction, let’s compare the two. Warning: contents hot, and sexy.

Paula Abdul
“Cold Hearted”
Forever Your Girl
Directed by David Fincher

And here’s the source material, created by a director and choreographer who seems to have gotten women like Abdul, Madonna, and The Pussycat Dolls dancing (the last act going so far as to take cues from Sweet Charity’s “Hey Big Spender“ for “Buttons“). Also, something tells me warm nuts are served on this plane. (Rimshot) Acid probably is too.

The next one is also from my youth, released at around the same time from a woman whose early video work Abdul choreographed. Janet Jackson’s “Alright” is an homage to the film musicals of Cyd Charisse, the Nicholas Brothers, and Cab Calloway. I especially love Janet in a zoot suit. Click on Ms. Jackson’s name and enjoy.

Janet Jackson
“Alright”
Rhythm Nation 1814
Directed by Julien Temple

And here are the pop star’s and music videos’ influences. The first one comes from Singin’ in the Rain, while the second one is from Stormy Weather.

Finally, we have a clip from former In Living Color fly girl and Jackson back-up dancer who makes an appearance in “That’s The Way Love Goes.” Jennifer Lopez’s “I’m Glad,” a song about her big feelings for then-boyfriend Ben Affleck, retells the entire story of Flashdance, focusing on four dance sequences from the movie, especially the climactic audition scene. Unlike the source material, which utilized two trained dancers (one male) as actress Jennifer Beals’s doubles, I believe all J.Lo does all the dancing. 

Jennifer Lopez
“I’m Glad”
This Is Me . . . Then
Directed by David LaChappelle

And here are the dance sequences in question.

When I finish the exam for a topic, I like to look through the notes for that semester and scan in all the drawings. I like doing so, it’s like a symbolic reward for completing a subject.

I’ve finished my exams now. As such, over the coming days, a few of these drawings will appear, loosely grouped according to academic subject and overarching theme.

Sometimes, I feel a bit funny.

Often, the line between the TV drama my family watches and real life seems indistinct, or nonexistent. This is funny, a lot of the time. However, sad things happen on TV dramas as well.

I don’t watch a lot of TV. If your everyday life comes to emulate the media we spend most of our time observing, my life should be a lot like a science lecture, an internet message board, a crass humour blog and a fantasy novel. I think that would be a pretty cool life. I guess my life is a bit like that.

My computer is broken, at the moment.One day, in a lecture on population dynamics, watching animal populations drive themselves to extinction on graphs, I thought about Thomas Malthus. I thought a good idea for a very intense deranged robot would be one designed to talk like a caricature of Malthus. Hence, Malthus here.

It’s Tuesday — or what I refer to as the “useless” day… not the beginning, the end or even the middle of the week– but the networks make up for it by putting out quite the Tuesday Night Line Up!

Here’s what I’m watching tonight:

SYTYCD- So there are no more “Tappers” left on the show, but there are still 14 other dancers to watch and of course we are still waiting with baited breath (definition: holding our breath in looming dread) the arrival of Paula Abdul to the judging panel. The 4th chair keeps turning up empty… Is there something ELSE Paula Abdul is doing these days instead of being on a number 1 show and reviving her career? Well, with the anticipation of all this drama, continuously amazing choreography (including the Canadian Stacy Tucci in place of Mia Michaels) and the distinct possibility that Ballroom Ryan will dance shirtless … I’d say tonight is worth the watch! 8pm Fox

Biggest Loser- Now that Second- Timer -Cutie Daniel and Biggest -Woman -Ever Shea have left the show— there are two less people for Gillian to routinely beat into the ground. I try to eat my late-night snack when she’s NOT onscreen…it just never tastes as good. What kind of impossible challenges, mouth-watering temptations and shocking revelations will occur tonight? Tune in tonight NBC/City 8pm

DWTS: Results- I made my prediction last night, I believe Whats-her-face that dances with Derek will leave the spotlight tonight (and forever…after a few rounds of morning shows). But you’ll have to sit through an hour of filler until the decision is finally made…so sit back and relax tonight at 9pm ABC/CTV

Leafs vs Sens- Well, the Leafs may be on the road…but being in Ottawa means half the fans in the building are cheering on the Blue and White. There’s a brutal rivalry between these teams (although, not as steeply rooted in history as  Habs/Leafs) and it gets pretty nasty… I can say this with experience as a Toronto fan formerly living in Ottawa for school… I didnt have many friends on certain saturday nights. At any rate, it’s much easier to be a Leaf fan in Ottawa when you’re team is…well– winning. But tonight, Leafs limp into Ottawa in need of some redemption for the last 3 games. I hear Toskala is starting…so this could go either way. The game starts at 7:30pm on Sportsnet.

Whatever you are watching (my PVR has some work to do tonight…),  have a great TV Night.

CAPITOL RECORDS (Nashville Headquarters), WARNER BROS. and HARLEY DAVIDSON Motorcycles Joined Today The Friends Of Fred Vidal, PhD on His Rock Channel on Youtube. ABC Network is Fred’s Friend on FV TV since Yesterday!

OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUE 4
YOUTUBE/OPEN MIC TOUR
(diffusion Youtube this afternoon)

Fred VIDAL Informs on Youtube, Twitter, WordPress and Myspace of The Upcoming November-January Live SOLO OPEN MIC California TOUR, dedicated to Twiggy LAWSON and Youtube connected, that will focus on the LOS ANGELES Area but also SACRAMENTO, SAN FRANCISCO and SAN DIEGO. Second FV e-Single on Youtube is LIVE HeRe CoMeS ThE NiGhT 2009, b-Side: SORROW, Promotion Begins today. Model Twiggy LAWSON is the British Muse of the 1960s-70’s, Featured by BOWIE on The Pin-Ups Album. VIDAL: “I prefer Aladdin Sane but I manage the PIN-UPS Songs the best I can!”.

1:20PM, November 12, 2009:
Twitter Informs:  Breaking News: WARNER BROS New FRIEND of FRED VIDAL On Youtube FV ROCK Channel! This Is HUGE & Fred Wants 2 Express GRATITUDE & SATISFACTION!!!!!

HeRe CoMeS ThE NiGhT SOLO OPEN MICS California TOUR November 2009-January 2010!! According To TWITTER, San Francisco and Sacramento are Scheduled!

On Myspace, around 9am, this morning:
http://www.myspace.com/fredvidal

Title: With The Tape Of SORROW 4 Youtube, VIDAL Decides OPEN MICS:
This SOLO OPEN MICS TOUR Of The Los Angeles Area Will Begin NEXT WEEK!!! Dedicated to Twiggy Lawson Featured on The BOWIE PIN-UPS Album Cover!!
Before First Appearances-Showcases Of LovE On EartH In HOLLYWOOD!
www.twiggylawson.co.uk

Watch SORROW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTGz_6I-OmA

On YOUTUBE at 9:46am:
http://www.youtube.com/bramstocker77

SORROW Comment: Fred Informs On Twitter, WordPress & Myspace of SOLO OPEN MICS beginning next week IN LOS ANGELES, a Tour dedicated to TWIGGY LAWSON. SORROW (Bob Feldman, Jerry Goldstein, Richard Gottehrer) Remade By BOWIE on Pin-Ups is The New title chosen by VIDAL, After the recording of the H Bomb HeRe CoMeS ThE NiGhT, to Relax and make you Relax and Prepare Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks. It’s Light and Lovely. Dedicated to Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul and, obviously, to Frederic Love. http://fredvidal.wordpress.com http://twitter.com/fredvidal http://www.myspace.com/fredvidal http://www.twiggylawson.co.uk

No TWIGGY for Fred Vidal, Just a Nice Dedication, The 70's Are Over But The 2010's Will Be LIVE & 2 Letters More!!!

The original TWITTER Breaking News was this Thursday morning:
http://www.twitter.com/fredvidal
 
Fred Vidal Invites His Hollywood Friends To See Him On Stage Beginning Next Week For A Series Of SOLO OPEN MICS SHOWCASES In The LA Area!!!

It was this morning, Thursday, on Twitter around 8:45am, this communique and comments:

Exclusive Celebrity: Fred VIDAL Decides To Perform SOLO OPEN MICS Beginnning NEXT WEEK, In Los Angeles!! Info On Myspace and Youtube Now!!!!

HERE COMES THE DAY!! After A 2 Lazy SORROW, FRED To PERFORM Live in ACOUSTIC or ELECTRIC Beginning MID-NOVEMBER, HerE HE CoMeS, Night & Day less than 20 seconds ago from web

In The LA Area SOLO OPEN MICS, It’s The Beginning Of The HeRe CoMeS ThE NiGhT ToUr with The Band & The real SHOWCASES first, 4 the MUSIC BIZ.

http://twitter.com/fredvidal

With The Preparation Of His 2nd e-Single on Youtube, Dedicated To AMERICAN IDOL, Probably The Slow Rock SORROW, A Cover, Fred Vidal Says Goodbye To The 70’s To Build A Career In The Music Business!

SORROW (Bob Feldman, Jerry Goldstein, Richard Gottehrer) Remade By BOWIE on Pin-Ups is The New title chosen by VIDAL, After the recording of the H Bomb HeRe CoMeS ThE NiGhT, to Relax and make you Relax and Prepare Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks. It’s Light and Lovely. Dedicated to Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul and, obviously, to Frederic Love.

The Song That has An Important and maybe Crucial Potential for Fred Vidal is Dedicated to AMERICAN IDOL, Fred is friend on Myspace with Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell.

http://www.myspace.com/fredvidal

Memory of the future: Now, Fred Vidal Remembers that, at that time, in 2009, he began his first Winning connections in the music business by asking the authorization to do a commercial remake of SORROW (in a second time). DEJA VU.

Comedian Arsenio Hall has dismissed rumors that he is dating Paula Abdul.

It was reported last week that the former pair had started seeing each other once again.

However, the Coming To America star insisted he was just friends with the former American Idol judge.

“We are friends for life, and we love hanging out and laughing together, but we are not involved romantically,” Contactmusic quoted him as saying.

The couple had parted ways in June 2008.

Es el nuevo intento de Sacha Baron Cohen, realizador de Borat (2006), de concientizar a la sociedad norteamericana de las diversas enfermedades que hoy en día sufre, tiene el nombre de Brüno.

Brüno es un periodista fashionista gay austriaco que al perder su trabajo por haber boicoteado el desfile de modas de Agatha Ruiz De La Prada, decide mudarse a Los Ángeles para convertirse en el austriaco más famoso del mundo, más aún que Hitler.

Sacha Baron Cohen y el director Larry Charles, quien también participó en Borat, deciden mostrarle a la cultura norteamericana de una forma extrema las características que tienen sus ídolos pop que los hacen famosos. Y peor aún, por qué la gente acepta y apoya estas causas sin saber que son utilizados para producir más dinero a dichos “artistas”.Por otra parte realizan una reflexión sobre la batalla que se tiene en ciertas regiones de Estados Unidos por aceptar la cultura gay.

Brüno desafortunadamente no tiene el mismo impacto mediático y social como lo logró Borat, una de las principales razones fue porque la película del reportero kazajistání fue realizada en un momento indicado, donde el repudio a Bush era un tema global y la forma en que se analizaba en la película era innovadora.

Este filme está realizado con mismo patrón de Borat, en la cual los creadores Baron Cohen y Larry Charles realizan un guión con las situaciones que quieren presentar en la película. Después en un tipo de documental-cámara escondida, logran las escenas donde el único actor es Brüno, así captan las reacciones de las personas inmiscuidas a cuadro y empieza el show.

Un gran logro lo realizan al entrevistar a Paula Abdul sobre la beneficencia que realiza, con la cual se ha ganado mucha fama. Lo peculiar de dicha escena es que la conductora acepta sentarse encima de un albañil mexicano que está en cuatro patas simulando ser una silla. En otra escena vemos como Brüno por su afán de ser famoso adopta un niño en África, el cual intercambió por un Ipod, y lo presenta a un talkshow de afroamericanos, donde se ve cómo éstos al lograr un punto de identificación con una persona del medio (en este caso Brüno por adoptar a un niño africano), le entregan todo su apoyo y admiración, como en la vida real ocurre con famosos como Angelina Jolie o Madonna.

En la primera parte de la película Brüno hace todo lo que ve en las revistas que realizan los famosos estadounidenses para tener fama, como apoyar una causa altruista, ayudar a resolver el problema en Medio Oriente, crear vínculos con subculturas en Estados Unidos, etc. ¿Pero porqué Brüno no ha obtenido esa fama si ya realizó todo lo que hacen los “artistas”? La respuesta es fácil, no existe un famoso gay.

Esto da pie a que la segunda parte de la película torne al alrededor de la aceptación de la comunidad gay en estados como Kansas. Donde Brüno decide ver a un Convertidor Cristiano que le da una serie de instrucciones, las cuáles el protagonista sigue al pie de la letra, para poder “vencer la enfermedad” y convertirse en hombre.

Es así que Sacha Baron Cohen nos demuestra su gran capacidad para reinventarse actoralmente y una vez más le da una lección a los estadounidenses al burlarse de ellos, esta vez probablemente de una forma más agresiva y grotesca que en Borat, pero sin perder la esencia. Cada escena, cada situación, lleva a una reflexión sobre la sociedad en la que vivimos, donde podremos reírnos, sentirnos agredidos o simplemente no darnos cuenta que se está burlando de nosotros como le pasó a Bono, Chris Martin, Sting, Snoop Dog y Elton John los cuáles participan con Brüno en la grabación de una canción que no meramente se burla de ellos, más el proyecto completo sí.

HSN's Bill Brand

The Sunday story is headlined “NYC’s Celebrity Fashion Obsession,” and features a photo of one of Susan Lucci’s HSN necklaces.

In the piece, the Daily News says that New York consumers are skeptical of goods that have been given the stamp of a celeb. The story then quotes Bill Brand, HSN vice president of programming, marketing and business development.

“If the celebrity doesn’t have a connection to the to the product they are selling, it won’t translate,” Brand is quoted in the Daily News.

He cited health-conscious actresss Fran Drescher’s new skincare line, which is about to debut. “It was natural for her to be doing a skincare line for us and it sells,” Brand told the Daily News.

The story points out that Lucci, Paula Abdul, Rachel Zoe, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Tori Spelling, Serena Williams, Tina Knowles and Iman all have products on home shopping outlets.

The Daily News does have a tiny scoop: that designer Isaac Mizrahi’s new line for QVC premieres Dec. 4 with “plaid-covered cheesecake,” whatever that means.

By the way, Brand is never asked about the reliability, or lack of it, when dealing with stars. For example, earlier this year Spelling and Abdul were scheduled to make appearances on HSN, but those shows were abruptly cancelled, without explanation.

(The Brown Tweed Society’s TalkRoach™ highlights mundane, ridiculous, and outright unbelievable pop culture stories that should have fizzled after a day—or should never have been news in the first place—but have somehow survived.)

1.  Australia Tries To Warn Concert-goers That Britney Spears Lip-Syncs:

Britney knows how to brew up controversy, even unintentionally.  Virginia Judge, the Minister for Fair Trading for New South Wales, has decided that ticket buyers for Spears’ Australian concerts should know that some parts of the show will be “pre-recorded.”  Noting that some tickets have sold for more than $1300, Judge said, “It is Britney’s ‘prerogative’ to lip-sync, and it is my job to make sure consumers know what they are paying for up front.”  Honorable Judge Judge, everyone knows that Britney Spears lip-syncs, which allows her to prance around stage and get shot out of cannons and stuff all without her voice changing.  Those who don’t know this are “stupid,” or “people who will pay $1300 to see Britney Spears.”  Think about what you’re doing, Madame Minister: if concerts must bear lip-sync disclaimers and concert-goers boycott performers because of it, might Spears and her ilk stop it altogether?  What would be worse: a clean, digitally-enhanced “Oops I Did It Again” sung in concert, or Britney’s naked, real, unadulterated singing voice?  I rest my case.

2.  Paula Abdul Cries During Precious:

By all accounts, Precious is an incredibly touching movie.  It should be no surprise then that anyone, including Paula Abdul, was seen crying three times during a screening.  Maybe it would be news if the movie was so moving that she should have cried five times, in which case Abdul is a heartless wench.  Or maybe the movie was so cheesy, heavy-handed, and overtly emotionally manipulative that she should not have cried at all, making Abdul an unstable mess.  Or maybe she cried the correct number of times.  It’s not uncommon that people cry at movies.  I cried—well, I got something in my eye—at the end of Big Fish, and a friend of mine cried during Kickboxer (yes, the Van Damme movie).

Why this is worth a whole NY Post column with the crappy headline “Bawl-A Abdul” I don’t know.  Paula Abdul cries at everything.  She cried on American Idol if contestants did a good job and stayed, or a bad job and got booted off, or a middling job and she totally knew they could do better.  She cries if someone is unreasonably harsh when criticizing her in the media.  She probably cries when she sees puppies, or when she watches fabric softener commercials.  This little non-story probably won’t help.

3. Reality Show Winner Spends Money Poorly:

This may be difficult for you to believe, but it seems that Big Brother 9 winner Adam Jasinski, a real person, has spent the money he won on the show unwisely.  BB9 3^rd place winner Sheila Kennedy expressed her disappointment and physical illness upon hearing Jasinski was arrested in an Oxycodone deal with a government informant.  Sheila voted for Adam in part because he said he would give $100,000 of his $500,000 prize to an autism charity.  You and I probably share Kennedy’s feelings of shock and betrayal that a reality game show contestant lied to make money.  To be fair, maybe he didn’t lie and intended to donate the money, but on the way to the autism foundation he saw a car and a fur coat and a trashcan full of Oxycodone he just couldn’t live without.  And he still might have some of that money left, which this time he totally swears he’s gonna give away.

4. Yankees Win World Series:

Man, this really isn’t news.

Thanks, entertainment media, for making fun of someone for crying during a movie.  You try watching Dumb and Dumber without breaking down!

Rumors are swirling that Paula Abdul and Arsenio Hall might be playing a little game we like to call Pelvis Tag.

Via Contact Music:

PAULA ABDUL has reportedly rekindled her romance with ex-boyfriend ARSENIO HALL – 20 years after they first dated.
The singer has been single since splitting from restaurant owner J.T. Torregiani last year (08), but after quitting her job as a judge on TV talent show American Idol this summer (09), actor Hall reached out to his former flame to offer words of support.
And the stars, who met on the set of Eddie Murphy’s 1988 movie Coming to America, got along so well when they reconnected, they’ve decided to give their relationship another try, reports the National Enquirer.
A source says, “Arsenio reached out to Paula because he thought she needed a friend to talk to, someone she could relate to. Arsenio knows what it’s like to leave a hit TV show. One phone call led to another, and the next thing you know, they were making a date.
“This could be the perfect situation for the two of them. Paula and Arsenio know each other inside and out.”