Hello readers. I’m putting the story that I’ve been telling on hold here for just a bit to drop a few anecdotes from my last day in Point Place.

So I wake up in the morning feeling possibly the best and the worst I’ve felt in a long time. I had awoken from the best dream I have ever had. I do not remember my dreams often so trust the significance of it.

It starts with an elaborate handshake with my roommate in the school gym “hey dog, what are you all sweaty for dog?” I mockingly ask.
“Stop saying dog.”
“So……. can I play now?”
“We only let good people play.”
“Oh alright then dog.” I say as I dejectedly go sit down.  With it being a dream I cannot explain why the entire school was there to watch pick up basketball games but the energy was high and everyone was interested. I sit down in the front row of the bleachers, all of her friends are sitting a few rows behind me. I get the first indication of why everyone is so interested. My roommate has the ball at the top of the three, they isolate, he jab steps, spins, drives, and elevates cocks his arm back with full extension behind his head and throws down hard. The place erupts. The game stops for a few minutes waiting for the people to clear the court. As I walk back to my seat I see her looking through the door. No doubt she’s looking for her friends who are behind me. I sit down and glance at her walking towards me. I weakly smile and nod, the same way you do to the kid who sat next to you in your intro to psych class who asked to borrow a pencil once. She smiles large, grabs my arm, and says “join me.” My eyes grow large, my mouth is open, I go with her without a word. After a few steps we arrive and with my eyes huge, and mouth still slightly open she says “I hoped I’d see you here.” Since this was my dream the people and the game grow hazy, she is the only thing I can see clearly. Still obviously shocked I ask why. She says, “I need you to do something.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I need you to kiss me now.” Instead of my mouth being slightly open my jaws drops.
“What about all you said about the distance? About the time?
“I was afraid then. Do it now before I change my mind.” I do not hesitate. It lasted for an eternity. When it ends it is just us in the stands everyone has left. I am looking into her eyes with a goofy smile on my face. I wake up. Never more depressed when I realize it was a dream. However, the more I thought about it the better it made me feel.

Story No. 2

While the last one was a dream this is a real life story from Point Place. This one starts after my last final which ends at 8:30. I head to the UC to return my books. This goes smoothly so I decide to go grab some breakfast from the place upstairs. The place is barren, I am the only customer. I place my order for a bacon egg and cheese sandwich and sit there and zone out while it is being cooked. I turn around and I spot With a K and Seeds heading up the stairs. With a K looks like Lilo from Lilo and Stich’s older sister only shorter and more top-heavy. And Seeds isn’t as attractive, but still towards the upper edge of females I could attain, with her average height and straight dirty blonde hair. Feeling adventurous after my dream and that it’s the last day of the semester for me I approach Seeds as she looks at the menu. I mumble, “I’d go with the baconeggcheesesammy.” With a K hears and starts to smile and giggle. Seeds stands there stunned. With a silence that lasts for about 10 seconds but feels like minutes. The guy yells, “hey your sandwich is done.” Saved by the sandwich. As I turn and walk as fast as I can to leave I hear With a K giggle louder and Seeds join in. I realize they are laughing at me. However, for some odd reason I put a positive spin on it and focus on the progress I’ve made. I didn’t do well but an attempt is an attempt and months ago that wouldn’t have happened. I’m proud of myself. Go me. Well that’s all I have for now. Have a fun safe weekend readers.

We sat and waited for the sea
To stretch out so that we could disappear
Into the endlessness of blue
Into the horror of the truth
-Bright Eyes

Oh readers for you all here is an update for this sick and twisted tale.

Early December. I call her, I hate to admit this but this isn’t the first call. Just the first today. She doesn’t answer. For the first time I work up the courage. It may be the time factor or possibly it may be my blurry eyes and my light head, but I decide to leave her a message. “I know what’s going on,” I say. It’s been weeks since we’ve seen each other let alone talked. I muster all the courage I can just to say “I know it’s over….. But.” I say. I run my hand through my numb hair. With one hand over my face and my eyes closed I mutter “I miss you.” I spew clichés: “I’ve never felt this way, you complete me, with you I am perfect.” I hang up. Even if she had been on the phone I still would have heard nothing but the cold, somewhat comforting, silence.

Mid December now readers. All I have is the cold distant memory of her touch. Sorry… I never knew her touch I can only imagine it. And what a wild image that would be. I can see my hands on her hips. My lips touching hers. I can feel what it would be like to hold her body close to mine on a cold spring morning. I don’t know, I wish I did. I’d whisper, “Our time is now.” She’d blink. I’d think, “our time is done. It’s gone, never to return.” I’d beg her to hurt me, to make me feel. She’d refuse me on the premise that wanting to be hurt is crazy. I can’t blame her, readers, for you’d think the same. But the numbness is maddening. I envy those who feel.

I pray one day there will be a woman who will one day rip my heart out of my chest and eat it in front of me. Some have been close. Some have told me that we are “just friends,” some have told me “I am only going to focus on school right now,” and some have told me that she “wasn’t ready for a long distance relationship.” As expected, readers, those women have all been liars and hypocrites doing the exact opposite of their words. Unfortunately I have not been entrapped enough into them to be really hurt by their actions. But someday I will be, that day shall be not only the worst day of my life but the best of my life, for that day I will actually be alive for the very first time. This will be the day I have waited for, for so long.

So, here we are readers, at this junction I am publicly swearing off these women who have tried to reel me in but who have done a half ass job instead. This is to you who have asked me if this saga has been about you. Yes, this tale has been, in fact, about you who I have not been good enough for. I am not saying I am perfect. Oh hells no. But when I give it my all I expect honesty. If I am not man enough slash not anything else you want just say it. Please, from all the “just friends” of the world, just be honest. It will be easier for us all in the long run.

Oh here I am, the real hypocrite, longing for the touch/acknowledgement of just one female. Ha… unfortunately she happens to know exactly how I feel about her and she still continues to ignore everything I say. She doesn’t need me . That is commendable, and yet it makes me feel so fucking down. So, dear readers, I need some help. I have yet to figure out if I actually want her. Or if the fact that I know I will never have her is what I want so much. Am I more pleased by finally holding her or by sitting here and bitching about it? I do not know but I feel she knows. But she will never read this. I am too afraid to know the truth and to reach out to her. So I will ask your opinion. Drop a comment and you tell me how this tale ends. As for updates…. well…. you’ll know when I do.

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By Steven G. Mehta

I recently saw an interesting essay on anger, its cause, and the reasons behind it that I thought you might like by author PAVEL G. SOMOV, PH.D.  Here is a brief excerpt:

By the time we get out of kindergarten we have a sneaking suspicion that there is more than one take on reality.  This realization (that things are not black and white) pretty much crystallizes by the time we get out of the high-school.  What starts out as a clear-cut case of pain and pleasure and right and wrong year after year becomes progressively more nuanced and subtle.  As we learn the befuddling lessons of life, we become more tempered, more tentative.  We begin to appreciate that Socratic epistemological modesty of only knowing that we don’t know anything.  As we cultivate this philosophical doubt and dress-rehearse “who knows?” shrugs of nonchalance at the absurdity of life, we secretly yearn for certainty.  That’s why we relish anger.

Authentic anger comes from total conviction in your cause, however serious or trivial it might be.  It is pretty much impossible to be really angry and in doubt.  Anger is beyond doubt.  Anger is certainty.  Anger is a moment of crystal clarity.  And that is its infectious emotional allure.  Anger – unless you are faking it – is a rare moment of feeling that you are absolutely and unquestionably right.  Anger is righteousness.

To read more, click here.

On lonely nights I start to fade
Her loves a 1000 miles away
Memories made in the coldest winter
-Kanye

Here she is. I can see her. I can touch her, yet I cannot feel her.

You few readers I’ll spin you a tale. A tale in which the start is the end result. A tale that you may find humorous, or, you may find heartbreaking. Either way you will feel. (Oh how pretentious of me telling you that.)

As the title implies it is winter here in Wisconsin. I just shook my head and growled at the bitter cold outside. I am sitting here, window open, and I feel all 4 degrees biting at my toes. It started years ago, in a grand log cabined town. If it were a page on facebook no one would be a fan. However, this is not a surprise to anyone. So here is the end… (question mark?)

She comes over. She shakes her head.
“Speak to me in iambic pentameter.”

I stand there speechless. Yet I have no idea why. Her unusual request or her actually speaking? Either way I’m down. After a failed attempt she calls me silly.
Saying; “you act just like a real boy, yet all I see is a character.”

I”m startled as she speaks. She can see through my facade? Do you think she sees me for what I am? How do I connect? Shit… think…. shit… think… I pull her close to me. I lean down and softly kiss her neck and whisper “you want topperstix?” She pushes me away. Eyes wide, mouth slightly open. She facepalms and before I know it her hand connects with my face. I am paralyzed, stunned, whatever adjective you want to put there. Slack jawed I utter “ugh… so… that’s a no?” I didn’t know it was even more possible for her to show any more disbelief. She leaves without a word. I order Jimmy Johns for myself anyway.

After weeks of begging she returns to the scene of the crime. It’s early November now. (Fuck November.) She says, “you’re watching this movie it’s so cute. It’ll get you into the christmas spirit.” Alvin and the fucking Chipmunks. Yeah really. She ignores the jabs about it being barely NOV-FUCKING-EMBER, and focuses mainly on my man crush on Jesse McCartney. ( You know you do too asshat.) I feel bad about earlier transgressions so I take it all in stride. But all of a sudden I think I make one too many jokes about how FUCKING CHIPMUNKS ARE ANIMALS AND DON’T HAVE HUMAN EMOTIONS, anyway she eventually storms out unsatisfied once again.

Mid November, I need (NEED boldface 72 point font need) a way back in. I’m in luck! Light snow. Is there a more romantic way to get back in? A stroll in the snow. It’s like fucking dancing in the rain. What could go wrong? I think you know what is coming. I’ll explain for you slower ones out there. I am a complete bitch when it comes to cold. So, I am all bundled up like it is negative zero outside. So being ridiculously over dressed is the first thing I hear about. (Okay so is it just me or are females more attractive all bundled up? Give me a Geraldine Chaplin In Dr. Zhivago 98 hours a day 14 days a week.) Second thing I hear about is the Topperstix incident, from know on known as the stixident. So I’m obviously starting this resurgence on bad terms. “Baby don’t worry about it.” Did I really just call her baby? Holy shit I’m done for. I panic. I scramble and start singing and fumble with my phone until I get Night Fever by the Bee Gees to play. My disco gyrations and mean falsetto lighten the tone. I think. Until I hit a patch of newly formed (vanilla) ice. As I am laying on my ass on the barely snowy ground she comes over to me and offers a hand. (If this is a movie this is the part where you’re shaking your head and screaming DON’T DO IT YOU FUCK.) I take her hand and pull her onto me, hoping for some romantic snow snuggle/flirting/fighting. As we already established life is not a perfect romcom and this just lead to one pissed off and wet (in a bad way) female. I watch her go from the ground.

My previously mentioned disco gyrations must have left a good representation of me in her mind because she comes back again. Mid November. I offer, “please let me make it up to you, Politos? a movie? I have one in mind.” miraculously she consents. I rock a CBR and she picks the plain cheese. (Here is the part where I break down her choice of pizza by calling it a perfect choice for her and other various lame things you don’t give a damn about, and essentially giving you the whole pro/con list.) This goes well. I resist the temptation of Garlic knots. We head back to the crib. (dorm room) and throw in my special hand-picked movie. Wristcutters: A Love Story. As you expected she hated it. She sat mortified at the premise and as no surprise to you catches none of the jokes. (She did mention the Inuit girl was cute though…) This leads to an awkward hug and platonic goodbye. Oh how I long for the taste of her lips.

Late November. The snow is gone yet it is still cold and windy. 13 days since I last saw her. She’s been avoiding me. Saying she was busy during our usual lunch dates, dinner dates, and our weekly nap session. She didn’t even ride with me on our way home nor our way back for break. It’s obviously all been torn apart by my own hand. I understand my need to self destruct and I know that feeling well. However, I didn’t do this on purpose. This is where I know she is sick of me because of her own choice. My biggest fear. I was too enamored to drive her away from me. What have I done. I left myself open to be hurt. I gave her the knife and she actually used it to cut me open and hung me there like a deer waiting to be skinned and processed. Or so I thought, apparently I am paranoid and she was actually busy. I accept this without question. I was happy to be a little crazy. She comes over and since I still assume we’re in a terribly written romcom perform a song I had written for her. As you can expect it’s bad. It’s terrible. Probably because it was a techno dance mix…. But either way I was gyrating so I assumed she was into it. At the end of a mediocre ( and compared to recent nights FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC) night she starts to walk out the door I finally pull it off. The perfect whirlwind good night kiss. I grab her hand as she walks out. Spin her twice into my arms and I lay the (worlds) greatest kiss/dip combo on her. Mr. Sparks couldn’t have written it any better. But in true life fashion and not being in a romance novel she is not satisfied. In fact she is down right pissed. She jumps back and says those damn words. “I think it’d be best if we didn’t speak or see each other or anything like that for awhile.” Fucka da my life I mutter.

Current day. Here I am pissing and moaning about something that happened just over a week ago. Only this isn’t a new problem. (the cold is though… fuck me.) It’s been a long time coming, and you know I should’ve seen it comin’. So here I am 13 hundred words into the tale. She reads a mere 600 about how I feel. Maybe someday the world (you mythical readers) will read them. I don’t know. But it is 5 am readers and in less than 12 hours I am going to see her again. It may take her hours to respond it may take her weeks, hell she may never. But trust me with this my readers. You will find out how this cold tale ends. This is something we both will get to learn about in the coming winter weeks.

TTFN readers TTFN

Shall we start with a summary? I think so:

Drove 5 hours.
Crashed a wedding.
Had a female fall in love with me.
Drove an hour to a party that was 80% lesbian.
Got into a fight.
Blacked-out.

Yes ladies and gentlemen. This guy had an amazing break.

Let us start at the beginning. Always a good place to start. It was a Friday night. A certain lady friend suggested I stay with her. After having a mild panic attack I accepted the idea and promptly took off the next day at noon. After five hours and driving through numerous towns I arrive in one that is full of farms and slightly larger than the one I hail from. On arrival I am promptly told to exit my vehicle and enter this unknown SUV. I did as I was told and made small talk for the first time in my life. I was feeling good.

After 40 minutes we arrive in a suburb of Milwaukee. Not only marking my first time there but also the first time I’ve been that far east. We arrive at an unknown destination next to a bowling ally. Classy I think to myself. Upon entering I find out it is a wedding reception. Doubly classy I think. I wait my turn for some polish sausage. Fuck yeah polish sausage I think to myself. After waiting hours and noticing a female eye me all night I decide to hit the dance floor. Things go as expected. I don’t leave my comfort zone until. Well let’s just say they played some Bee Gee’s; and well you know the final dance John Travolta did in Saturday Night Fever? Let’s just say I have it memorized and that there was a crowd watching. Naturally My hip gyrations caused envy from the males and mad lust from the females. There was one, as previously mentioned, that was eyeing me even before my sliding display on the dance floor. So of course in full Bee Gee glory I asked her to dance as soon as I could.

(Visual Approximation)

“You think you can get away that fast?”
“What? Are you asking me do to dance?”

That’s where I point at the dance floor and put on my best Chuck Bass face. Works like a charm. She smiles coyly. We dance. She offers her number. I pretend to take it down and don’t offer mine. I tell her I’ll see her next wedding. She looks back twice as she walks away. She walks up to me as we are leaving and informs me that she had a great time thanks to me. I smile and tell her to have a nice night. Silky Johnson smooth.

We drive back 40 minutes and instantly leave for an hour-long voyage to a party. I start partaking in the classy activity of drinking whiskey coke’s in the back seat. We arrive at the party instantly I notice two chicks making out. And at least one who is completely androgynous. So naturally I grab my cup and start to dance. After getting bored of the mildly attractive lesbian sandwich I’m in I move to the kitchen with the three other guys in the building. I comment on a guys leather jacket. Which naturally leads to a conversation about how to avoid getting stabbed, and many greaser references. At which point he pulls a mouth guard and challenges me to a faux boxing match, one where no head shots are allowed. I refuse profusely… initially… Somehow this leads to me chugging some mysterious brown liquid from a simply orange bottle, while the guys chant “INJUN TOM INJUN TOM.” And even more mysteriously I agree to said boxing match. As expected my tummy gets pummeled as that was the only available target for him to aim at. So now we drive back after I take it easy for the rest of the night. As expected that mystery binge drinking does not sit well with me and I end up passed out in the bathroom… Or so I’m told… Any way I wake up on the couch getting my Kevin Spacey smile on.

That’s where I’m going to leave you my friends. Enjoy your evening. Hopefully this weekend brings shenanigans on the same level as that wonderful Saturday night.

Nadya’s Nights: Road to Vengeance

Night Four: Revelations

Chapter Forty-One: Orphaned

by Indy McDaniel

Copyright © 2009 Indy McDaniel

Nadya hated the bed.

It was flat, hard, and uncomfortable as hell.

Other eight-year-old girls might have complained about the fact that it was flat out ugly.  Nadya didn’t much care for the aesthetics of the bed, one way or the other.  The comfort level of it, on the other hand, was much more important to her.

After all, how could you get a decent night’s rest when you were essentially lying on a plank of wood?

The pillow was filled with lumps and the blanket, if it could actually be called that, had more than a couple holes in it and – even without them – was so thin that keeping the night chills at bay wasn’t something it was capable of doing.

If asked about how her experience was going at Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children was going, Nadya would have responded with, “Shitty.”

‘Shitty’ may not have been a traditional response for an eight-year-old girl to respond with but the sleeping arrangements weren’t the only thing not up to par at Nikolaevna’s.

The orphanage was under-funded and over-crowded.  There were five adults working there and an estimated fifty or more children of varying ages.  The kids picked up the curses from the over-worked adults and then they spread through the group like wildfire.  The excessive amount of cursing may have been one of the reasons why the adoption rate at Nikolaevna’s was so low.

Not too many prospective parents wanted a child to tell them that someone was acting like a ‘cunt-licking ass-fucker’.

Nadya had been at the orphanage since she was four.  She couldn’t remember much of anything before coming to Nikolaevna’s.  She’d been told by Olga, the woman in charge of the orphanage, that she was in a better place.

Nadya found that hard to believe.

Despite her lack of age, she was quite the cynic.  Not that the other children at the orphanage were much better.

Nikolaevna’s was like a crash course in the cold, hard reality of life, the world and everything.  The lessons taught were that life sucked, people sucked even harder and if you wanted something, you’d best learn to fight for it, otherwise you wouldn’t get it and, even worse, you’d have what little you had taken from you by someone bigger and stronger.

The plan of action Nadya had found best to stick to was to keep as low a profile as possible.  It wasn’t hard since she wasn’t a very noticeable figure.  She was small enough, even for her age, that she managed to slink around and not get spotted.  There were altercations, still, but not nearly as bad as some of the other kids got.

Lying on the uncomfortable bed, Nadya found sleep hard to come by.  It usually was, but this night was even worse.  There was more on her mind than just discomfort and colorful new words to describe her shitty living arrangements.

A new boy had arrived at the orphanage earlier that day, which meant that the grand total of children was probably now closer to sixty than fifty.  Normally, every new face that arrived was enough to send all the kids into similar grimaces and low-volumed cursings – Nadya included.  More children meant less food and space to go around.
Instead of calling the boy a ‘limp-dicked cocksucker’ and wanting to push him into something sharp, Nadya instead found herself thinking about him in much kinder ways.  Despite what his presence meant for her and the rest of the children, she couldn’t help liking him.  She’d never had a crush before, but she knew about them.  They were quite frequent in the orphanage, really.

Some of the older children at the orphanage, in their teens, were definitely having sex.  That was a concept Nadya wasn’t entirely clear on but supposedly it was something fun to do with someone you had a crush on.

If there was one cardinal rule at the orphanage amongst the kids, though, it was that, nobody got to have a crush on the new kid.  It didn’t matter who they were, what they looked like, how nice they were.  New kid meant more hardship for everyone else, which in turn meant that the rest of them gave the new kid even worse hardships to deal with.

The hazings were brutal at best.

A number of new arrivals hadn’t lasted through them, running away or, in at least two instances that Nadya had been witness to, suicide.

Nadya had a seven-inch scar that stretched down the left side of her ribcage.  A large, older girl had taken a sharp piece of stone and attempted to ‘cut her fucking flat tits off’.  Being just over four years old, Nadya hadn’t been quite clear as to what exactly ‘tits’ were or why the other girl wanted to cut hers off, but she did know it hurt badly and bled a lot.

One of the adults had luckily found her before the offending girl had finished her cutting and Nadya had been treated to a lot of stitches and several weeks apart from the rest of the children.  Luckily, in that time, two new arrivals had come to the orphanage, so Nadya had moved further down the hit list.

The new boy – his name was Pavel – had arrived late that day, just before bedtime, so none of the other kids had a chance to terrorize him yet.  Nadya was dreading the next day probably more than Pavel was.  After all, the boy didn’t know what was in store for him.

Nadya did.

Normally, she was content to just stepping aside and letting the others do what they did.  She didn’t get involved for the most part.  If a new kid approached her and there were others looking, she’d be forced to do something mean, just to avoid getting anything done to her, but she didn’t really take much pleasure in it, like some of the others.

Nadya stared up at the dark ceiling above her head, feeling exhausted but unable to get her mind to shut off.  For the first time in the four years she’d been at the orphanage, she actually felt bad about what was going to happen to one of the new arrivals.

One of the discussions a group of the kids had had a while back was about love, mainly to criticize and mock it.  The concept of ‘love at first sight’ had come up briefly.  It was generally agreed by all involved in the conversation that the idea was bullshit.  One of the older kids had remarked that all it meant was that you wanted to fuck the shit out of the person.

Personally, Nadya wasn’t sure why anyone would actually want to fuck someone to the point of having them shit but there were a lot of things the older kids said that she didn’t quite understand.

She was positive she did not, in fact, want to fuck the shit out of Pavel.  But that love at first sight thing, she wasn’t too certain one way or the other.

She let out a long sigh and tried rolling over in the bed to find a more comfortable position.  All she succeeded in doing was making the bed creak loudly and another girl lying somewhere else in the room told her to ‘stick a fork up her cunt’.

Nadya considered getting up to smother the girl with her lumpy pillow.  Her exhaustion convinced her that it’d be best to just remain in bed.

Her anger at the foul-mouthed bitch faded as her thoughts turned back to Pavel.  Whether or not she was actually in love with him or not, which she did admit was pretty ridiculous to think that she could be in love with a boy she’d only seen for a grand total of maybe a minute before getting shuffled off to the sleeping quarters, she wanted to somehow keep him from getting tortured and humiliated for however long it took the rest of the children to more or less accept his presence at the orphanage.

Well, there is one way, Nadya thought to herself, finally feeling sleep start to creep up on her.

There’d be hell to pay, but what the hell?

Lesson Number One at Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children was Life Is Hell.  If not for you, then for the other person.

And who’s to say Nadya couldn’t bring a little hell to the others in turn?

A light smile formed on her face as her eyes drifted closed and she fell into a sleep far more restful than she’d managed to obtain in four years.

*    *    *    *

The next morning, Nadya awoke before the rest of the children.  It hadn’t been planned.  Her eyes just snapped open and even though she was pretty sure she’d only been asleep for a few hours, she felt fully rested.  Her dreams, which were usually filled with random visions of things that weren’t very pleasant, this time didn’t haunt her.
There was a fleeting image but it was hard to focus on and was gone before she could trace it back to the rest of the dream she’d been having.  She did know it wasn’t a bad dream, and that Pavel had been there.

As she sat up in bed, Nadya found herself of the opinion that love at first sight involved more than just wanting to fuck fecal matter out of a person.

Aside from another brief creaking, which this time didn’t manage to stir any of the other girls in the room, Nadya was silent as she got up and slipped her worn shoes on before moving across the room and exiting.  The sun was just barely creeping through the windows, which meant that she was probably the only one up.

Now she just had to find Pavel.

He’d looked about her age, maybe a year or two older, so that meant he was probably in the communal sleeping area for boys aged five to ten.  Nadya’s plan of staying unnoticed and away from as many of the other children as possible had allowed her to explore most of the orphanage and find out where all the rooms were, so she didn’t have much trouble finding the one she was after.

Peeking into the room, she confirmed that none of the boys were awake yet.  She crept in and started to look from bed to bed, searching out Pavel.  She found him towards the back of the room and for several long moments, she stood over him, looking down at his sleeping form.

He was lying on his back, mouth half open and head tilted to the side a bit.  His chest rose and fell slowly.  He looked so peaceful.  Despite the various curse words that were frequently used to describe the various things in the orphanage, Nadya found herself thinking of another word to describe Pavel that very rarely, if ever, came up.

Beautiful.

Without realizing it, Nadya’s hand had reached out for the boy’s face.  She caught herself before stroking her fingers along his cheek and instead lowered her hand to his shoulder, giving him a soft shake.  He woke suddenly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and trying to focus them on Nadya.

She put a finger to her lips, signaling him to remain quiet and crouched down next to the bed.  “I’m Nadya,” she said, keeping her voice as low as possible so not to wake any of the other boys.  “I want to help you.”

Pavel’s expression was one of confusion.  His mouth was open, trying to form a response, but Nadya continued before he could.  “You don’t know about this place, do you?”

He closed his mouth and shook his head.

Nadya’s jaw tightened.  He looked so innocent.  She didn’t know where he’d come from or why he was here, but she knew he didn’t deserve what fate had in store for him.

“The others.  They’re going to hate you.  Probably for a while.  They’ll hurt you.  I don’t want that.”

“What are you going to do?” he asked, and she finally got to hear his voice.  Another word unfamiliar to her surroundings came to her.

Angelic.

And before she could stop herself, her hand did move up and touch his cheek gently.

“I’m going to help,” she said.  “I’m going to keep them from hurting you.”  Nadya glanced around.  A few of the other boys in the room were starting to stir.  “C’mon.  We’re going outside.”

She watched him sit up and fumble with his shoes, her eyes shifting from him to the other boys.  Once he was ready, she took hold of his hand and led him out of the room quickly.

*    *    *    *

The orphanage was a large, square-shaped building with an inner courtyard.  The inner courtyard was what was technically referred to as the ‘playground’, although not much playing went on out there.  There were some wooden picnic tables set up that weren’t exactly the safest places to sit, for fear of splinters, rusty nails or, better yet, the entire thing collapsing due to rotten wood.  A swing set with only one functional swing was off in one corner, along with a rusted metal slide that deposited the slider into a pit of dirt and rocks.

There were several trees, all of them dead.

The only plant-life was a few weeds that had sprouted up along the edges of the courtyard near the walls of the orphanage.

The courtyard was where the children spent most of their time.  The adults would have claimed it was because it gave the kids more time to play, but really it was more likely that the courtyard was the most secure area of the orphanage.  It made it more difficult for children to run away and easier for the single supervisor on duty to keep an eye on any scuffles.

Although that wasn’t always a guarantee that the supervisor would come to the rescue of any child in need of it.

Despite all that, there was enough open space in the courtyard that Nadya wouldn’t have to worry about getting cornered.  It was about the best place she could think of to make a stand against the ranks of other children in the orphanage.

Fighting through almost sixty other children, most of them older and bigger than her, probably wasn’t the most brilliant of plans but she was running on instinct and young love.

She stood in front of Pavel, between him and the doors leading into the courtyard, as the first of the others started to file out.

From the looks on their faces, the boys that came out first had been curious as to where the new arrival had gotten to.  They were already annoyed at having their fresh meat escape them and when they found him in the courtyard with the scrawny blonde girl in their way, their annoyance quickly turned to anger and, in some cases, amusement.

None of them approached her though.  Not yet.  More and more of the children piled out into the courtyard.

Finally, it was the larger girl who’d taken the piece of stone to Nadya’s chest who approached.  Since then, Nadya had learned her name was Inga.  She wore an ugly sneer on her face and pointed a thick finger over Nadya’s shoulder to Pavel.

“It’s time to pay for the fucking food you’re stealing from the rest of us.”  Her finger shifted to aim at Nadya.  “And you, worthless cunt, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Nadya stayed firm, tensing herself.  “Leave him alone.”

The large girl laughed – more of a cackle really – and lowered her finger.  A few of the other children joined in.  “Or what?  Is the worthless cunt going to defend her cocktoy?”

Nadya’s hands clenched into tight fists.  Over the four years she’d spent at the orphanage, she’d only been in two fights.  One she’d won, the other she hadn’t.  Neither time, though, had she been so determined to win.

Odds be damned.

“I said… leave… him… alone…”

Inga glared at Nadya for a moment then let out a loud, angry bellow and charged the smaller girl.  Nadya firmed herself up as Inga closed the distance between them.  Part of her mind told her to turn and run.  The girl had age, experience and weight advantages over her and suddenly her plan of beating every single opponent who came up against her didn’t seem all that feasible.

She managed a quick glance behind her and spotted Pavel, still standing behind her and looking a bit worried.  All thoughts of running away fled her mind.

Nadya turned back to face Inga as the girl was just about to finish closing the distance between them.  The larger girl had one fist cocked back, ready to smash into Nadya’s face.

With a speed she wasn’t even sure she was capable of, Nadya’s own fist shot up from her side, straight at Inga’s face.  There was an audible crunching as her fist collided with the bottom of Inga’s nose and blood was already starting to squirt outwards as the larger girl’s forward momentum become more uncoordinated.

Inga collided with Nadya, knocking her backwards and landing on top of the smaller girl.  Nadya felt her ribs creak from the pressure and her air was forced from her lungs, but more than that, she found herself confused.

Why wasn’t Inga swinging or kicking or biting at her?

Instead, she was just limp and the overwhelming smell of blood and something more reminiscent of the odor that came emanating from the bathrooms of the orphanage filled Nadya’s nostrils.

She scrambled out from under Inga, shoving her off and onto her back before jumping to her feet and looking down at the girl.

Inga’s nose now resembled a pig’s, flattened upwards.  Blood covered her face and her eyes were staring blankly back up at her.  A wet patch was darkening the crotch of her pants.

It was the first time Nadya had ever seen a dead body so close.  Her fist was smeared with blood and throbbing.  She stared in shock down at Inga’s corpse, unsure of what exactly she’d done or how.  Then she looked to the large group of orphans standing before her, all of them just as stunned as she was.

Although she wasn’t sure how she’d done it, Nadya thought she’d just won the battle with a single punch.

None of the others seemed interested in attacking her or Pavel.  Her shock turned into elation.

She’d won.

Suddenly, sharp pain streaked through the back of her head and she found herself stumbling forward, tripping over Inga’s body and falling face first into the dirt.  Cringing, she started to push herself up and looked back, feeling her shock return just as quickly as it had faded.

There was Pavel, where he’d been all along.

Only now he was holding a large rock, the edge of which was darkened with blood.

Nadya’s blood.

She opened her mouth, unsure of what he’d done or why and intending to ask.  Her words were instead drowned out by the cheer of the rest of the orphans and the ground started to rumble as the group charged en masse towards Nadya.  The sight of Pavel was obstructed as the group swarmed around her.

Feet began to kick at her hard.  She brought her arms and legs up around her, trying to shield herself from the blows as best as possible.

The physical pain grew stronger with each blow, but even as she took another hit to her head that knocked her into blackness, it never came close to the pain that was streaking through her heart.  It felt as if it had been ripped in half.  Her last thought before being knocked unconscious was:

Is this heartbreak?

*    *    *    *

When Nadya woke up, she found herself in a bed that was not her bed, but it definitely wasn’t any more comfortable.  The fact that her entire body was throbbing with pain didn’t help matters.  She recognized the room she was in from the time Inga had carved her up.

Apparently, one of the adults had rescued her before the rest of the kids had beaten her to death.  The thought of the beating immediately led to one of Pavel.

Why had he done it?

The cynical side of her mind, which was getting louder each year, immediately fired up a response.

To get accepted.

Even if, by some miracle, Nadya had managed to keep him from getting beaten that day, the others wouldn’t just leave him alone.  They’d have come back for both of them and probably have given them even worse treatment than usual for a longer period of time.

So he’d made a decision.

Help take down the troublemaker who was putting a kink in the usual way things went in the orphanage.

By slamming a fucking rock into the back of her head.

The cynical side tried to make the argument that had been ingrained in her since day one at Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children.

Life sucked.

People sucked even harder.

It didn’t matter if it was a fat, pig-faced bitch lying dead in the dirt, or the new boy who seemed like a beautiful angel upon first assessment.

Despite the rationalizations, Nadya’s heart still felt like it had taken the brunt of the beating.

The room was empty aside from her.  She wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was dark once more.  Getting out of the bed was a bit problematic with the amount of damage she’d taken from all the kicking but she managed.  She limped her way to the window and shimmied it open, sliding out of it slowly and dropping to the ground outside.  The night air chilled her, but she didn’t notice much.

Last night, she’d fallen asleep with a plan firmly set in her mind.  Now that plan had blown up in her face and she had another.

Putting as much distance as possible between herself and Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children and – more specifically – Pavel the Double-Crossing Shit-Eater as possible.

So, I am finally back. I spent a week in the field on an exercise. Most of it was spent being incredibly nasty and eating MREs. I went out to there hopeful that I could stick to my diet. Unfortunately, I was entirely wrong.

There is absolutely no way you can eat MREs and call it healthy. It is a paleo nightmare. Everything in a Meal-Ready-to Eat is processed and scientifically engineered. They follow the usual government food diet pyramid. A rough breakdown of the maconutrients inside would be about 80% carbohydrate, 10% protein, and 10% fat. Wheat bread, crackers, pound cake, and candy do not exactly round out the healthiest meals, but they are all a big part of field rations. Surprisingly, the 2000+  calorie meal in a bag has instructions that say that food gives you energy and you need to eat all of it.

No. No no no no!

I threw most of the stuff out, but even eating protein is hard, because they will usually put carbs in with it in the main meal. The bottom line is that if you are trying to eat healthy/paleo, an MRE is impossible to stomach.

That being said, I came back and checked out Melissa Urban’s blog and saw that she was donating Paleo Kits (with your help) to Soldiers in Afghanistan. An amazing and worthy cause and I wish her the best.

Workouts

I didn’t do too many workouts while I was there, but the ones that I did do involved my 24 kilogram kettlebell, which I brought with me. I know that Pavel would be proud of these fine workouts:

21-18-15-12-9-6-3 reps for time, of:

Walking lunge steps

Kettlebell swings

My time: 5:00

150 kettlebell swings

Every minute that passes, stop and do 5 burpees

My time: 6:34

3 rounds for time:

10 air squat

10 burpees

10 kettlebell clean & press (right)

10 kettlebell clean & press (left)

My time: 6:50

Another Great Article from Precision Nutrition

The At-Home Test For Gluten Sensitivity
by Bryan Walsh, November 18th, 2009.

Everywhere you look, there’s a ton of discussion about gluten and gluten sensitivity. In fact, PN’s very own Ryan Andrews wrote a great article – All About Gluten – just a few weeks back.

But is gluten sensitivity really something you need to be concerned with? Or is it merely a “Hollywood fad” that’ll disappear as quickly as it came?

Well, a host of new research studies suggest that this whole gluten thing can be a pretty big deal. In fact, emerging research on gluten and its negative impacts on health, including brain function, is starting to look kinda scary.

Quick Gluten Review

Gluten is a sticky protein found in a number of grains that helps bind things together. Basically, it’s the “glue” that helps bread hold its shape, stops sauces from curdling, and gives cheese spreads, canned meats and many condiments their smooth texture.

Gluten is ubiquitous in our food supply today and is found in everything from oats, bran and cereal – to the not so obvious – ketchup, soy sauce, chewing gum and salad dressing. Truthfully, if you eat any type of processed food, you’re likely eating gluten.

For more on what gluten is and where it’s found, check out Ryan’s article here.

Interestingly, gluten-free foods are one of the fastest growing sectors in the nutritional world today – and with good reason. If you’re sensitive to gluten, yet continue to consume products that contain it, there is a strong likelihood that some aspect of your health will suffer.

Celiac Disease vs. Gluten Sensitivity

Before discussing gluten sensitivity in depth, some distinction should be made between it and its cousin, Celiac disease. Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition affecting numerous systems in the body. But its main target is the digestive tract.

Gluten sensitivity on the other hand simply implies that there is some type of immune reaction occurring to gluten in the diet. For you clinical types, this immune reaction can be detected by anti-gliadin antibodies in the serum, stool or saliva.

In the end, the primary difference between the two is whether or not there is intestinal damage.

Gluten sensitivity + Intestinal damage = Celiac Disease

Gluten sensitivity + No intestinal damage = Gluten Sensitivity

Now, you might think that gluten sensitivity only occurs in a small percentage of the population, just like with Celiac Disease. If so, you might be surprised to learn that in non-celiac disease patients, anti-gliadin antibodies can be found in as high as 35 percent of the population.

Gluten and Your Health

The seriousness of gluten sensitivity – with respect to everyday health concerns, as well as some atypical health issues issues – can’t be overstated. Really, it’s a big deal. But instead of taking my word for it, let’s take a look at some of the research.

Gluten and Women
Women with gluten sensitivity were found to have a higher incidence of stillbirths, spontaneous and repeated abortions, late onset of menarche, amenhorhea (no menses), anemia, and early menopause.

Because of the potentially negative impact of gluten on women’s hormone and reproductive system, one study recommended “celiac disease should be included in the screening of reproductive disorders.”

Gluten and Mood Disorders
Schizophrenia and depression have been linked to gluten sensitivity. In fact, gluten sensitivity seems to be a causative factor for schizophrenia in patients genetically susceptible to the condition.

In one study, “A drastic reduction, if not full remission, of schizophrenic symptoms after initiation of gluten withdrawal has been noted in a variety of studies.”

Gluten and Your Brain
Gluten has particular reactivity to our nervous system and is no longer considered to be a gut issue. Our brain and nervous system governs our perception, mood and quality of life. When our nervous system deteriorates, our life deteriorates.

Research has correlated gluten sensitivity to seizures, neuropathies, ADHD, Alzheimer’s, MS, migraines and even EEG anomalies (brain wave abnormalities).

One study concluded, “Gluten sensitivity can be primarily, and at times exclusively, a neurological disease.”

Gluten and Metabolism
Gluten sensitivity has been correlated with decreased absorption of critical minerals, such as zinc.

Zinc absorption occurs in the small intestines (duodenum and jejunum), the two areas most affected by celiac disease lesions. Researchers conclude, “These observations indicate that trace metal deficiency is another common nutrition complication of adult celiac disease.

Zinc has an important role in a variety of functions including our immune system, hormone production, brain function, taste, smell and our digestive function.

Gluten and Bone
There are numerous studies showing a link between gluten sensitivity and bone loss. Numerous mechanism have been proposed, including decreased calcium absorption. Researchers determined “Continuing long-term benefit of gluten withdrawal on bone metabolism in celiac patients.”

Gluten, Blood Sugar and Diabetes
Both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes have been linked to gluten. “This population-based study showed the highest reported prevalence of celiac disease in Type 1 diabetes in Europe. Patients with celiac disease showed clinical improvements with a gluten-free diet (GFD). We recommend screening for celiac disease in all children with type 1 diabetes.”

Gluten and Behavior Disorders
Partial peptide digests of gluten, called “exomorphins” have been shown to have psychoactive properties that have morphine-like properties in the body and brain. Studies have shown abnormal blood flow patterns in the brain in celiac patients at rates similar to ADHD children. Also, celiac disease has been found more frequently in children with dyslexia.

There are literally hundreds more studies demonstrating the negative impacts of gluten in susceptible individuals to virtually every aspect of their physiology.

That’s right, this isn’t some fly-by-night, tree-hugging, tie-dye T-shirt wearing hippy craze. Gluten sensitivity is very real and causing major health issues for a growing number of people, even if they don’t have symptoms – yet.

At Home Gluten Testing
As highlighted above – gluten isn’t something we should all be frightened of. After all, only about 35-40% of the population may experience gluten sensitivity. So please don’t get the idea here that I’m suggesting we all start on 100% gluten-free diets immediately.

However, and here’s the crux of the issue, many of us simply don’t know whether we fall into the 60-65% of the population that can tolerate gluten or into the 35-40% of the population that can’t. So it’s important that we find out.

Fortunately, there are numerous ways of getting tested, the best of which (at least, at the present) seems to be a combination of stool and saliva testing through a company called EnteroLab (www.enterolab.com).

And here’s the cool part. You can actually do the test yourself. You simple order a test kit through the company’s website, perform the tests yourself at home, send the kit back to the lab, and receive the results a few weeks later.

Of course, it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into interpreting the test here, but should you look into this kind of testing, the tech support available at Enterolab will be able to help you with your results.

The Gluten-Free Lifestyle

So let’s say you do the test and determine that you’re sensitive. What’s next? Well, you’ll have to cut all gluten out of your diet.

But deciding to go gluten-free isn’t a simple lifestyle change. It is more akin to a meat-eater deciding to become vegetarian. Gluten is so pervasive in our society, it takes a conscious effort to avoid it. And, because many of our comfort foods are full of gluten, it requires a change in perspective as well.

When many of my patients are reluctant to go off gluten – they just don’t want to give up some of the foods they love – I simply ask them, “Your bagel or your brain?” It’s that simple.

If you have a proven gluten sensitivity, it IS destroying some part of your body every time you eat it. Your thyroid, your brain, your joints – it could be any or all of these. And you must avoid gluten permanently.

This doesn’t mean being gluten-free most of the time, or “I’m gluten-free all week except for my one Ms. Fields chocolate chip cookie.” There is evidence that gluten can stay in your system for up to 8 months making every exposure a long-term thing. Does that sound too doom and gloom? Totally, and it sucks, but it’s the reality.

In many ways, gluten sensitivity is akin to peanut allergy. Any little bit of gluten can be cause for some real problems. So again I ask – your brain or your bagel?

Additional Support
Once you’ve decided to avoid gluten, there are other things you can do to protect yourself.

Besides avoiding it everywhere you can, there have been a couple of novel enzymes found to help break down accidental exposure to gluten. However, it is not a license to eat gluten. Rather, if you know you are sensitive to gluten, you can take these enzymes on a daily basis to help avoid any gluten that may have snuck into your diet.

Research has shown that the digestion of proteins found in gluten requires an enzyme known as DPP IV (dipeptyl dipeptidase IV). This enzyme is normally found in intestinal cells and is known to be deficient in celiac patients. In non-Celiac patients, if there is any damage to the intestinal wall, DPP IV will be decreased, causing an increases susceptibility to gluten and therefore damage.

In gluten sensitive individuals following a gluten-free diet, it is recommended to take a few capsules of a supplement containing DPP IV daily to prevent damage from accidental exposure.

Summary
Gluten sensitivity is a very real condition. And if you test positive for gluten sensitivity, and you continue to eat gluten-containing foods, your health and performance are at risk.

Fortunately, we don’t have to employ any guesswork or speculate about gluten sensitivity. With the genetic testing available today, we can be sure about gluten problems.

If you’re are interested in optimizing your performance and preventing future health issues, get tested and find out.

References

Sher, KS, Mayberry, JF. Female fertility, obstetric and gynaecological history in coeliac disease. Digestion. 1994;55(4):243-6.

Kotze, LM. Gynecologic and obstetric findings related to nutritional status and adherence to a gluten-free diet in Brazilian patients with celiac disease. J Clin Gastroenterol.2004 Aug;38(7):567-74

Molteni N, Bardella MT, Bianchi, PA. Obstetric and Gynecological Problems in Women with Untreated Celiac Sprue. J Clin Gastroenterol.1990 Feb;12(1):37-9.

Hadjvassioulu M, et al. Headaches and CNS white matter abnormalities associated with gluten sensitivity. Neurology 56:385-388; Feb, 2001.

Neuromuscular disorder as a presenting feature of Celiac disease. J Neurol neurosurg psychiatry. 1997;63:770-775

Paul V, Henkerr J, Todt H, Eysold R. EEG Research Findings in Children with Celiac Disease According to Dietary Variations. Z.Klin.Med., 1985; 40: 707-709.

Hadjivassiliou M et al 2003. Gluten ataxia in perspective: epidemiology, genetic susceptibility and clinical characteristics. Brain 126: 685-91.

Tengah D et al 2002. neurological complications of coeliac disease. Postgrad Med J 78: 393-98.

Hadjivassiliou, et al. 2002. Gluten sensitivity as a neurological illness. J Neurol Neurosurg Psychiatry 72: 560-3

Volta U, et al. 2002. Clinical findings and anti-neuronal antibodies in coeliac disease with neurological disorders. Scand J Gastroenterol 37: 1276-81.

Tursi A et al 2001. Low prevalence of antigliadin and anti-endomysium antibodies in subclinical/silent celiac disease. Am J Gastroenterol 96: 1507-1510.

Hadjivassiliou M, et al. 2003. Dietary treatment of gluten ataxia. J Neurol Neurosurg Psychiatry 74: 1221-24.

Will AJ. 2000. The neurology and neuropathy of coeliac disease. Neuropathy and Applied Neurobio 226: 493-96.

Cross A, and Golumbek, P. 2003. Neurologic manifestations of celiac disease. Neurology 60: 1566-1568.

Hadjivassiliou M, et al. 2002. The humoral response in the pathogenesis of gluten ataxia. Neurology 58: 1221-26.

Marsh M. Gluten, Major Histocompatbilty Complex and the small intestine. Gastroenterology 1992; 102:330-354.

Kalaydijian AE, et al. The gluten connection: the association between schizophrenia and celiac disease. Acta Psychiatr Scand. 2006 Feb;113(2):82-90.

Solomons NW, et al. Zinc nutrition in celiac sprue. Am J Clin Nutr. 1976 Apr;29(4):371-5.

Pazianas M, et al. Calcium absorption and bone mineral density in celiac after long term treatment with gluten-free die and adequate calcium intake. Osteoporos Int. 2005 Jan;16(1):56-63.

Spiekerkoetter U, et al. General screening for celiac disease is advisable in children with type 1 diabetes. Horm Metab Res. 2002 Apr;34(4):192-5.

Hansen D, et al. Clinical benefit of a gluten-free diet in type 1 diabetic children with screening-detected celiac disease: a population-based screening study with 2 years’ follow-up. Diabetes Care. 2006 Nov;29(11):2452-6.

Zioudrou, C., Streaty, R., Klee, W. (1979). Opioid Peptides Derived from Food Proteins. The Journal of Biological Chemistry 254(7), 2446-2449.

Usai P, Serra A, Marini B, Mariotti S, Satta L, Boi MF, Spanu A, Loi G, Piga M. (2004). Frontal cortical perfusion abnormalities related to gluten intake and associated autoimmune disease in adult coeliac disease: 99mTc-ECD brain SPECT study.Dig Liver Dis. Aug;36(8):513-8.

Paul, K., Todt, J., Eysold, R. (1985). EEG Research Findings in Children with Celiac Disease According to Dietary Variations. Zeitschrift der Klinische Medizin. 40, 707-709.

Kozlowska, Z: (1991). Results of investigation on children with coeliakia treated many years with glutethen free diet Psychiatria Polska. 25(2), 130-134.

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Greetings citizens.

It’s been a long ten days since the last post. A very long ten days. Two weekends so crazy they cannot even be put exaggerated and blogged about. Some good, some fun, and some that are just batshit insane. To make a point about how crazy things have been, and also as an excuse why I have not brought you down lately, I have acquired a lady friend. Yeah, insane right? Things are well here in point place. Morrison has few things in the pipe line to satisfy your urges. This is all for now.

Știm atât de puține lucruri despre dragoste, dar vorbim atât de mult despre ea. Culmea e că nimeni nu o poate „prinde” într-o definiție sau înțelege în totalitate, dar nu cunosc nici o persoană care să îi nege existența. Există sentimente pe care le negăm pentru că nu le putem cunoaște rațional, dar acest sentiment încă mai ocupă un loc privilegiat în lume.
O mare problemă care cred eu că apare în toate cuplurile este iluzia autostrăzii complete. Ceață totală până acum, nu?. Să mă explic. Știm cu toții că dragostea e un drum cu dublu sens. Dai și primești. Foarte adevărat. Ce e mai greu de priceput este că datoria noastră este doar una: aceea de a construi UN SINGUR sens al acestei străzi. ATÂT! E greu, dar repet: UN SINGUR SENS. Asta înseamnă că de noi depinde doar partea noastră, doar ce ne privește pe noi și ATÂT. Nu e problema noastră să consemnăm lipsurile celuilalt, nu trebuie să încercăm să-l motivăm să facă mai multe compleșindu-l cu mii de semne de iubire, ci trebuie să dăm atât cât trebuie și să construim partea noastră de stradă. Dacă celălalt nu construiește la fel de mult, NU E PROBLEMA TA. Nu ai ce face, nu ai ce spune. Poate genera frustrare, ohoho, și încă cum… Dar totuși, nu e problema ta.

Dragostea e un drum cu dublu sens pe care fiecare construiește propria lui parte de drum (adică sensul lui).

Majoritatea conflictelor apar din iluzia autostrăzii complete. În mintea noastră noi construim partea noastră, banda noastră, și virtual după imaginea acesteia o creăm și pe a celuilalt. Calitatea celeilalte benzi de multe ori o supraevaluăm virtual sau o considerăm cel puțin pe măsura celei construite de noi. Aici apar problemele. Neancorată în realitate, concepția din mintea noastră duce la tot felul de frustrări care macină încetul cu încetul relația, ca un virus, distrugând-o în final fără ca cei doi să conștientizeze acest lucru. Există și cazuri în care cei doi conștientizează și… cam atât. Soluțiile lipsind ei decid să-și ia tălpășița.

Fiți realiști ! Lăsați-l pe celălalt să-și facă partea lui, aveți răbdare cu el/ea, nu îl/o presați. Nu toți se dezvoltă la fel iar răbdarea e de aur. Pentru cine încă n-a citit 1 Corinteni 13 i-l recomand. Acolo Pavel nu vorbește deloc despre cum ar trebui să primești, cât să aștepți, ci DOAR SĂ DAI. Asta înseamnă a iubi. A da din toată inima necondiționat și a nu aștepta mai mult decât celălalt are să dea.

P.S.:  Lucrurile ar sta mult mai bine dacă noi am avea grijă exclusiv de partea noastră. Problema e că noi suntem mult mai atenți la cum „construiește” celălalt, la ce face el și la cât de mult se implică decât la ce facem noi efectiv. Avem tendința să spunem că e normal, dar nu este. Noi numim acum normale multe lucruri despre care ar trebui să spunem mai degrabă curente. Ele se întâmplă în lume, dar asta nu este un argument pentru normalitatea lor.

A doua parte a emisiunii despre Pavel a fost și mai antrenantă decât prima. Am rămas cu o idee pe care n-am rostit-o până la sfârșit și parcă mi-a rămas în gât. Cei care știu senzația înțeleg despre ce vorbesc.

Ideea era că pasajul din Faptele Apostolilor în care se regăsește relatarea convertirii lui Pavel și începutul misiunii lui pot lăsa senzația că a fost ceva rapid, fulgerător și într-o succesiune neîntreruptă de evenimente. Trebuie să ținem cont de originea scriitorului Faptelor Apostolilor, și anume Luca. El era medic și la fel ca Evanghelia lui pe care o începe explicând că nu a fost martor al evenimentelor ci a făcut muncă de istoric, am putea spune. La fel și Faptele. Ele reprezintă consemnări fără comentarii teologice. Singurul scop al lor era să relateze evenimente întâmplate aidoma, asupra cărora nu exista urmă de îndoială. Riscăm să pierdem din înțelesul multor pasaje dacă le citim fugitiv, fără să medităm puțin asupra lor, fără să le percepem profunzimile. Unul dintre aceste pasaje este cel din Fapte capitolul 9. Omul modern nu mai pierde timpul să dezvolte ideile în mintea lui sau să le patrundă. El ia totul așa cum îi este dat și consideră totul ca fiind așa cum îl vede.

Să ne luăm ceva timp să medităm la ce a însemnat cu adevărat și ce s-a întâmplat de fapt în Fapte 9.

De la inceput precizez ca nu sunt disperata dupa manifestari, nu ele sunt motivul cautarilor mele spirituale,  Il caut pe Dumnezeu si in rest El hotaraste cum si ce, iar in cazul in care apar si manifestari foarte bine. Vreau sa disec subiectul asta cu manifestarile pentru ca mi se par incredibile argumentele contra acestora.

Voi cum credeti ca a cazut Pavel cand Dumnezeu I s-a revelat. A cazut in genunchi, in fata, in spate, pe partea dreapta, pe partea stanga, dezordonat, ordonat? Oare a cazut in atitudine de inchinare, sau a cazut ca traznit, a avut el chef la ora aia sa se inchine sau nici nu a mai stiut de el, doar s-a trezit ca s-a prabusit. Oare cum arata un om care cade asa surprinzator? Pavel nici nu stia cine ii vorbeste, asa ca nu a avut cum sa cada in semn de reverenta si inchinare, omul a cazut fiind coplesit de situatie. Ma intreb daca a fost pe cal sau magar, cum o fi aterizat la pamant, in ce pozitie, oare a aterizat in cap? Si dupa ce a cazut a ramas nemiscat, sau a dat din picioare , din maini, oare o fi tremurat, oare nu o fi tremurat, oare tremuratul a fost doar la maini sau intreg corpul?

Voi cum credeti ca a aratat Pavel cand a fost rapit in cer, el ne marturiseste ca nu stia exact daca rapirea a fost doar in duhul sau a fost plecat cu trupul. Sa presupunem ca a fost rapit doar in duhul, oare cum a aratat trupul lui atunci, o fi stat in pozitie perfect ordonata, o fi stat intins pe spate, sau pe burta, sau in genunchi, sau o fi fost asa ca si cum ceva l-ar fi traznit, dezordonat, fara putere si vlaga, probabil fara puls.

Oare cum credeti voi ca a aratat Ioan care a cazut ca mort? Cum cade un om cand moare, oare cade asa ordonat, in pozitie de inchinare, sau imprastiat, cum apuca saracul, doar moare? Intreb pentru ca sunt curioasa si eu care cadere e autentica, in fata, in spate, pe margine, in cap, oblic, incovoiat, si daca incovoiat la ce unghi.

Fleacurile, astea ne intereseaza pe noi, ca sa ne dam seama daca rapirea a fost de la Dumnezeu si nu de la diavolul va trebui in prima instanta sa aflam sigur sigur, daca fizic oamenii astia erau cazuti in fata sau pe spate, sau in cine stie ce alta pozitie dezordonata, si in functie de aceasta, calculat cumva matematic, putem spune cu siguranta ca Duhul Sfant sau un duh rau a facut toata lucrarea respectiva.

Daniel in timp ce ii vorbea Dumnezeu a cazut lesinat cu fata la pamant, si nu numai odata, se pare ca Daniel lesina cam des atunci cand ii vorbea Dumnezeu. Aici ni se spune ca a cazut cu fata la pamant, dar atunci cand lesini indiferent daca lesini pe spate, in fata sau in alta directie tot lesin se numeste, sunt sigura ca pt Dumnezeu lesinul in fata nu e diferit de lesinul pe spate si nici de lesinul intr-o parte, noi insa avem impresia ca a lesina in fata e muuult mai cool si spiritual decat lesinul pe spate sau lesinul pe o parte. Oricum omul a lesinat, spune clar, nu s-a inchinat, a lesinat, repet pentru ca unii confunda lesinul cu inchinarea, iar mie mi se par doua chestii diferite, poate gresesc eu. Si culmea dupa ce si-a revenit din lesin, Daniel tremura. Cum arata omul cand tremura, oare? Sta asa nemiscat, fara sa schiteze nici un gest, sau chiar tremura ca bagat la curent? Intreb pentru ca am vazut ca sunt foarte multi experti care explica in fel si chip si lesinul si rapirea in duhul si tremuratul, si sunt curioasa si eu.

Dumnezeu nu vorbeste oamenilor si ei lesina, Dumnezeu e un Dumnezeu al ordinii si disciplinei, a lesina nu se include in ordine, a lesina e haos, El nu face haos. Ups, dar tocmai in Biblie vedem ca unii au lesinat, au cazut in diverse pozitii, ba la Rusalii au aratat ca niste oameni beti. Dumnezeu nu vrea sa aratam ca niste beti, El e ordonat, totul e pace, fara zgomot si asa in pozitie stat pe scaun, picior peste picior. Ori noi nu am inteles Biblia si nu am inteles nimic, ori Biblia a deformat adevarul despre experientele unora dintre personaje, si atunci noi avem dreptate.

Din cate stiu eu Dumnezeu nu se manifesta cu forta acolo unde nu e lasat, nu ii pocaieste cu forta pe cei care nu vor sa creada in El, nu se revarsa cu putere peste cei care nu vor asta, asa ca faptul ca la noi nu se intampla ca oamenii sa cada de pe picioare in prezenta lui Dumnezeu nu inseamna decat ca noi nu Il lasam sa se manifeste asa cum vrea. punct. Pentru ca daca L-am lasa sa faca asta cu siguranta ca nu multi ar fi in stare sa stea in picioiare cand s-ar cobora puterea si prezenta Lui. Probabil ca multi destepti care mai de care mai destepti, de fapt cei mai destepti dintre destepti m-ar contrazice, ei ar putea sta in picioare in fata revelatiei puterii, prezentei si maretiei lui Dumnezeu, un pumn de tarana, un fir de praf,  pe care daca ii loveste o masina nu mai ramane nimic intreg in ei, ar putea cu siguranta sa stea neclintiti in fata imensitatii lui Dumnezeu. Ma gandesc ca in cer nu o sa mai avem trupuri de carne pentru simplul motiv ca trupurile acestea de carne sunt atat de limitate, si neputincioase, nu ar rezista in prezenta lui Dumnezue, ar exploda, si de aceea o sa avem un alt fel de trupuri care sa fie in stare sa faca fata atmosferei din cer.

Imi imaginez putin faza cu umbra lui Petru care vindeca. Oare cum s-a intamplat practic. Imi imaginez ca oamenii dupa ce s-au prins ca umbra lui Petru vindeca, au insirat bolnavii exact pe partea drumului pe care urma sa bata umbra lui Petru. Deci Petru umbla si umbra vindeca. Ce se intampla oare cand umbra aceea atingea oamenii? Banuiesc ca unii erau vindecati fara sa simta nimic, altii banuiesc ca simteau cum puterea lui Dumnezeu trece prin ei mai mult sau mai putin iar cei care simteau ca ii loveste pur si simplu puterea lui Dumnezeu banuiesc eu ca se clatinau pe picioare ba chiar cadeau acolo sub puterea lui Dumnezeu.

Imi permit sa imi imaginez asta pentru simplul motiv ca nu pot sa cred cum cred foarte multi ca a face cunostinta cu revelatia si atingerea lui Dumnezeu e ceva banal la care reactia e cel mult cazutul in genunchi in semn de reverenta. In umblarea mea cu Dumnezeu au fost situatii in care fizic nu m-am putut tine pe picioare, acasa singura in camera de rugaciune, pentru ca am simtit ca sunt coplesita, ca prezenta lui Dumnezeu e ceva imens. Cum poti sa minimalizezi asa ceva, cum poti sa spui ca e o bazaconie asta, cum poti sa crezi ca Dumnezeu e banal, ca e ceva asa minuscul care cel mult te va gadila in rest nimic deosebit? Trebuie sa fi cel putin lipsit de intelepciune sa consideri imensitatea si maretia lui Dumnezeu ca pe ceva la care tu sigur poti rezista fara sa schitezi nici o reactie. Dumnezeu e real si cand te atinge o sa simti.

Manifestarile ciudate de care noi abia acum auzim, ele se intampla de mult la cei care Il lasa pe Dumnezeu sa lucreze asa cum vrea, chiar de la  Rusalii, noi abia acuma am fost izbiti de realitatea lor si din pacate in loc sa gandim logic lucrurile si bineinteles Biblic, le catalogam imediat ca fiind de la diavolul. Si in felul acesta avem pretentia ca Dumnezeu sa lucreze din moment ce noi punem lucrarea Lui pe seama diavolului. Nu am nici o reputatie de aparat, nici o imagine de pastrat, asa ca in continuare o sa spun pe sleau ceea ce cred, nu ma tem ca imi pierd admiratori scriind ce scriu, nu mi-e teama ca voi fi categorisita intr-un fel sau altul, ba chiar mi se pare extraordinar cum cei care vor sa umble intocmai dupa urmele lui Isus, au parte de aceleasi categorisiri ca si Isus.

Sper ca cei care privesc critic acest articol isi dau seama ca stiu si eu ca diavolul la randul lui se manifesta in fel si chip, ca da nastere la manifestari tare ciudate si stranii, dar eu vorbesc aici strict de manifestarea Duhului Sfant.

Hello!
Great Article about the importance of Protein — take the time to read!

My diet of choice is the Warrior Diet, this diet focuses a lot on protien intake during evening meals and post workout meals. Often times I do not think people realize how little protein they are actually eating, therefore do not get the benfits of of this great nutrient! I was a little leary in reading the beginning part of this article as, I though it would challenge my views on eating large quantities of protien. John Bernardi could not have said it better when he states “Is building muscle the ONLY reason we eat protein?” My faith is restored….Thanks for the rebutal of the recent studies!

Limit Protein to 20g Per Meal?
by John M Berardi, November 4th, 2009.

Ingested protein dose response of muscle and albumin protein synthesis after resistance exercise in young men. Am J Clin Nutr. 2009.

A moderate serving of high-quality protein maximally stimulates skeletal muscle protein synthesis in young and elderly subjects. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 2009.

So, what did these landmark studies show?

Well, the first study showed that when college-aged weight-trainers drink 0g, 5g, 10g, 20g, or 40g of protein after a weight training session, muscle protein synthesis is stimulated maximally at the 20g dose. Interestingly, there were no further increases in muscle protein synthesis at the 40g dose.

Similarly, in the second study, when young and elderly volunteers were given 30 or 90g of dietary protein in a single meal, the 30g dose maximally stimulated muscle protein synthesis. Again, there were no further increases in muscle protein synthesis at the 90g dose.

20-30 Grams and No More
Oddly, since the publication of these two studies, I’ve read no less than 2 dozen articles and blog posts suggesting that these two studies definitively close the case on protein intake. Indeed, some authors have even suggested that we’re ignorant wastrels if we dare eat more than 20-30g of protein in a single sitting.

Milk? This is the best you can do? Maybe you should read PN’s All About Milk article.
Here are a few quotes:

“So basically what you’re saying is that we don’t need to consume any more than 20g of high quality protein after exercise. You could get that in a 500ml serving of milk…This info is really going to piss off a bunch of internet keyboard jockeys.”

“I’ve cut back on the amount of protein I eat during most meals…No more slogging down 50-60g in a sitting. “

“Looks like 3 eggs post workout is just as effective as drinking a protein shake. Plus all that extra shake will be wasted.”

And so on…

Is Muscle The Only Reason We Eat Protein?
Now, while I can always appreciate a good muscle protein synthesis study, I sorta wonder if all the hoopla regarding these two studies is doing healthy eaters a service or not.

I mean, it’s definitely a good thing to discover that 30g of protein provides the upper limit of amino acids necessary for maximal protein synthesis at a particular point in time. However, the important, big-picture question is this one…is building muscle the only reason we eat protein?

I think not.

Challenging the notion that eating more than 30g in a sitting is wasteful, here are a few thoughts I sent to a group of colleagues:

1) What Else Will You Eat?
Let’s say you’re on a high calorie diet. Maybe you’re into bodybuilding or you’re training for an athletic event. And now you limit your protein intake to 20-30g per meal. What else do you fill up with? Carbs or fats?

Let’s take an example. Say you’re eating 4000-4500kcal per day for competition, which many larger lifers and athletes will need to do. And let’s say, because of these studies, you limit your protein intake to 5 meals of 20g each. In the end you’ll be getting 100g and 400kcal from protein.

Well, that’s 8% of your diet. What makes up the other 92%? If you’re loading up with that many carbs or fats, body comp can suffer. Remember, the protein is being replaced by macronutrients with lower thermic effects (more on this below).

2) What About The Other Benefits?
Muscle protein synthesis isn’t the only reason to eat more protein. There’s satiety, the thermogenic effects, the impact on the immune system, and more (see below).

Plus, there are probably a few benefits science can’t measure yet. I say the last part because there’s so much experiential evidence suggesting that when you’re training hard and you up your protein, you do better. So maybe we just haven’t looked in the right places to notice the real benefits.

Other Protein Benefits
In an article I wrote a few years back, I listed some of the benefits of eating more protein. And although the article is a few years old, nothing’s really changed since then. Here’s the list:

Increased Thermic Effect of Feeding — While all macronutrients require metabolic processing for digestion, absorption, and storage or oxidation, the thermic effect of protein is roughly double that of carbohydrates and fat. Therefore, eating protein is actually thermogenic and can lead to a higher metabolic rate. This means greater fat loss when dieting and less fat gain during overfeeding/muscle building.

Increased Glucagon — Protein consumption increases plasma concentrations of the hormone glucagon. Glucagon is responsible for antagonizing the effects of insulin in adipose tissue, leading to greater fat mobilization. In addition, glucagon also decreases the amounts and activities of the enzymes responsible for making and storing fat in adipose and liver cells. Again, this leads to greater fat loss during dieting and less fat gain during overfeeding.

Metabolic Pathway Adjustment – When a higher protein (20-50% of intake) is followed, a host of metabolic adjustments occur. These include: a down regulation of glycolysis, a reduction in fatty acid synthesis enzymes, increase in gluconeogenesis, a carbohydrate “draining” effect where carbons necessary for ridding the body of amino nitrogen is drawn from glucose.

Increased IGF-1 — Protein and amino-acid supplementation has been shown to increase the IGF-1 response to both exercise and feeding. Since IGF-1 is an anabolic hormone that’s related to muscle growth, another advantage associated with consuming more protein is more muscle growth when overfeeding and/or muscle sparing when dieting.

Reduction in Cardiovascular Risk — Several studies have shown that increasing the percentage of protein in the diet (from 11% to 23%) while decreasing the percentage of carbohydrate (from 63% to 48%) lowers LDL cholesterol and triglyceride concentrations with concomitant increases in HDL cholesterol concentrations.

Improved Weight-Loss Profile —Research by Layman and colleagues has demonstrated that reducing the carbohydrate ratio from 3.5 – 1 to 1.4 – 1 increases body fat loss, spares muscle mass, reduces triglyceride concentrations, improves satiety, and improves blood glucose management (Layman et al 2003 — If you’re at all interested in protein intake, you’ve gotta go read the January and February issues of the Journal of Nutrition. Layman has three interesting articles in the two journals).

Increased Protein Turnover — All tissues of the body, including muscle, go through a regular program of turnover. Since the balance between protein breakdown and protein synthesis governs muscle protein turnover, you need to increase your protein turnover rates in order to best improve your muscle quality. A high protein diet does just this. By increasing both protein synthesis and protein breakdown, a high protein diet helps you get rid of the old muscle more quickly and build up new, more functional muscle to take its place.

Increased Nitrogen Status — Earlier I indicated that a positive nitrogen status means that more protein is entering the body than is leaving the body. High protein diets cause a strong positive protein status and when this increased protein availability is coupled with an exercise program that increases the body’s anabolic efficiency, the growth process may be accelerated.

Increased Provision of Auxiliary Nutrients — Although the benefits mentioned above have related specifically to protein and amino acids, it’s important to recognize that we don’t just eat protein and amino acids — we eat food. Therefore, high protein diets often provide auxiliary nutrients that could enhance performance and/or muscle growth. These nutrients include creatine, branched chain amino acids, conjugated linoleic acids, and/or additional nutrients that are important but remain to be discovered. And don’t forget the vitamins and minerals we get from protein rich foods. (And lest anyone think I’m a shill for the protein powder industry, this last point clearly illustrates the need to get most of your protein from food, rather than supplements.)

Looking over this list of benefits, it’s hard to ignore the fact that we don’t just eat protein for its muscle synthetic effect. We eat protein for a bunch of other reasons too. And since a higher protein diet can lead to a better health profile, an increased metabolism, improved body composition, and an improved training response, why would anyone ever try to limit their protein intake to the bare minimum?

Take-Home Message
It seems to me that whether someone’s on a hypoenergetic diet (low calorie) or a hyperenergetic diet (high calorie), the one macronutrient they would want to be sure to “overeat” (relatively speaking) would be protein.

But that’s not what people do, is it? Instead, their protein prejudice often leads them to look for what they consider the bare minimum of protein (whether it’s 20-30g/meal or 0.8g/kg/day), and then overeat carbohydrates and fats instead. That could prove to be a performance – and body composition – mistake.

To this end, my advice is the same as I’ve outlined in the Precision Nutrition System.

Women – 1 serving of lean, complete protein (20-30g) with each meal, every 3 hours or so

Men – 2 servings of lean, complete protein (40-60g) with each meal, every 3 hours or so

This pattern of intake will make sure you’re getting enough protein to reap all the benefits that this macronutrient has to offer. Not just the protein synthetic benefits.

You can take it in stride
Or you can take it right between the eyes
Suck up, suck up
And take your medicine
It’s a good day, it’s a good day
To face the hard things
- Cloud Cult

November. Finally, the hellish hell, hell hell that is October is done for. October starts warm and ends up damn cold. It also ends with easily the worst holiday, halloween. (the second worst is the fourth of july. Which I refuse to capitalize due to pure spite.) But now it is November; the time for the second rebirth of the year. Since the year goes downhill fast after the best month of the year. August. I can honestly sit here and tell you I have never had a bad August. Seriously August 1st through the 21st of September is and always will be the best time of the year. ( Do you remember the 21st night of September? I do.)  It doesn’t get any better. Simple as that. Time for new beginnings after the early fall death. Time to turn everything around. November is my annual stop being a dickhead and let’s do this shit time. I’ve had my fun now it’s time to stop playing games and get to work. Whether it is school, life, or just getting back to being “myself.”

Don’t wanna go out and be on my own
You know they’re starting something I can’t stand
You leave for the city, well count me out
Cause all this time is wasted on everything I’ve done
- The Format

How many times have you asked a question that you did not want to know the answer to? It seems to be a damn common occurence for me. You ask a question, immediately you start to fantasize about the answer you want the most. You start planning your life around the answer you want. I had a red puma day this last week, despite it being October, just because I had this silly question in my head and could only think of the benefits of the perfect answer. And right now you’re gasping. OPTIMISM?!? I know, I know, strange for me. Damn strange. But as only reality could bring; even eternal optimism could not keep this going very long. Naturally I learned the truth. Which was not even close to what I imagined for myself. What I saw was a perfect life that involved no change in where mine is now. Meanwhile, in the real world the answer that was presented put me into a position I’ve been in before. However, the motives are different and actually I’m not buying it anymore. The major life change I need to undergo to attain my dreams would come at a price far higher than I am willing to pay. At this juncture my “dreams” have been so long gone that I can do nothing but reminisce of Augusts past. Chasing the ghost of a good thing is not on my to do list. Obviously nothing is for certain; undoubtably I will question my decision. How many times have I identified something in my life that was a positive influence? So for now I have decided not to chase anything. I’m accepting defeat and telling myself it’s time to get up, out, and, over it. Now to the obligatory Dashboard lyric.

Well you’d like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren’t we all once
before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

While guys like Pavel will claim that “strength is a skill” – it’s true only to a point, and I think that the point is largely misunderstood or misinterpreted nowadays.

Doing strength-building movements – especially and particularly the classic lifts: deadlift, squat, overhead press, clean, chins (weighted), dips (weighted), bench, maybe row – require some “skill,” but I wouldn’t classify them as “motor skills” in the typical sense.

Those are “strength skills.”  They are practiced in a certain way (with ever increasing load/intensity) in order to disrupt homeostasis and create adaptations in the body.

That is, simply repeating the movements involved in strength exercises will not get you stronger.  Practice the movement all you want, but if you don’t add weight (progressively over time), you won’t get any stronger.  You might, however, get more skilled.

The first example that comes to mind that allows for a nice comparison of these two types of “skill” development is the sport of Olympic weightlifting.

In the Soviet Union, and I think in many Eastern Bloc countries with state-funded Olympic training programs, children would be chosen to begin training for their sport at a very young age…perhaps around 5 years old.

For the first three to five years of the child’s training career, they would never touch a real barbell, let alone a weighted barbell.  Instead, they’d practice with a towel, or a wooden dowel.

They’d practice the motor skill of the Olympic lifts – which is a very very specific motor skill (hence those lifts being a sport unto themselves).

Around the age of 10, the child might be allowed to begin practicing with a lightweight barbell, and from there, ever so gradually, progressively add weight – always making sure that they maintained the highest level of motor skill in the execution of the movement.

While a lot of this has to do with children simply being ill-suited for progressive weight training, because they’re still growing at a rapid rate, much of it also has to do with getting a person at a young enough age that they can accumulate 10,000 hours of practice at the skill before they achieve full developmental maturity.

This hearkens back to my old blog posts on skill and skill development.  Skill is problem solving.  It’s the ability to creatively solve problems given the resources available.  “Talent” is what we call “inborn skill.”  And, it seems, that it doesn’t really exist.

While some people may be more uniquely suited for expertise at certain skills (say, because of limb/torso ratios, etc.), the expression of that “talent” is all that really matters.

So, it’s impossible for us to know how real, frequent, or infrequent “inborn” talent is or is not – that is, until every child is given equal access to every musical instrument, athletic sport, computer program, or whatever other skill you want to measure, from the age of 2 on.  Not only that, but they need also be given the freedom, time, money, and emotional support to continue.  Got that?  Great, now tell me how “talented” someone is.

But this post isn’t about talent.  It’s about STRENGTH and SKILL.

The truth is, we all need both.

It’s just that I see so little focus on the real training of EITHER these days.

Most folks in the gym go in and pump some iron to look good.  They don’t try to lift heavy poundages.  They don’t do the classic lifts at all.

They also do bizarre skill-based workouts…things you might do for fun if you were a little kid, but that are treated with unsettling seriousness in an “adult” gym.  Things like balancing on a stability ball on your knees while you move the medicine balls you’re holding in each hand in strange patterns, or while catching and throwing a medicine ball.  Not a lot of laughter…a lot of grimacing.

But what’s the point of that?  I mean what’s the point both of the seriousness with which it’s undertaken, and of the “exercise” itself.  It doesn’t build strength.  There’s no progressing it.  There’s no overload to it.  The body is in too unstable a position to overload.  And it only builds the strangest type of “skill” possible…one divorced from anything you might encounter in life at all.

If you’re going to be performing that trick on a stage, or a streetcorner, for your paycheck, it’s important to practice that.

But if not – what the hell are you doing?

The saddest thing of all is that the trainers aren’t even laughing.  I mean, not the ones who are making the people do it.

Take a look at your programming, ye trainers and trainees.  Return to the basics.

Train STRENGTH with heavy stuff, progressively made heavier, and predominantly with “traditional” (bilateral, barbell) movements.

Train SKILL outside, or wherever you exercise that skill, and try to make it as absolutely perfect as possible…

D052825020.JPG

Originally uploaded by gatorc4

Bonus points if he discusses dangling every time. Hes starting to finally get the national recognition that we here in Hockeytown know he deserves, and that will only increase with time. You can almost count on him challenging for the Selke and Lady Byng once again, and quite possibly the Hart. This season, Im looking for Datsyuk to finally reach that elusive 100 point mark. Despite his lack of production, he created tons of scoring chances, and there were times when it seemed like he couldnt have bought a goal at the Dollar Store. I dont believe that the team ever said exactly when he developed his charley horse, but I choose to believe that it played a factor from early on. Oh, and he posted a team-high 97 points and +34, all while taking fewer penalties than any full-season Wing but Brian Rafalski. Season Lowlight: Missing 7 games during the last two rounds of the playoffs. Theyre simply my thoughts on each players performances last season, and my hopes and expectations for them this time around.

I want to make it very clear that these are not predictions, because I do not, under any circumstance, make predictions. By my count, there are 21 days remaining before the Wings kick off their season in Sweden. Hockeys so close that you can almost taste it. The league reviewed Brian Rafalski ’s empty-net goal from Thursday night’s game and changed it from an unassisted one to one with assists from Zetterberg and Jonathan Ericsson. Franzen is expected to miss four to six months. William Clancy performed the surgery in Birmingham, Ala. Forward Johan Franzen had successful surgery Friday to repair his torn left anterior cruciate ligament , the team announced. Babcock said Jimmy Howard would play on the upcoming, five-game West Coast trip. Chris Osgood will make his fifth consecutive start today, against Colorado. He was thrilled to be part of Lidstrom’s milestone.

Babcock said Zetterberg’s skating suffered because he missed the entire exhibition season with a groin injury. Last season through six games, he had four goals and three assists and was plus-2. Henrik Zetterberg ’s first goal of the season. Datsyuk had an MRI Wednesday, which revealed no significant injury.

Datsyuk has an upper-body injury that he suffered in Tuesday’s game against Buffalo. Datsyuk practiced Friday but coach Mike Babcock said he would not play today against the Colorado Avalanche.

Those of you who know me know that I am about more than kettlebells. The same thing goes for the Hardstyle system propagated by Pavel Tsatsouline and Dragondoor Publications.

Here is a great summary of the Hardstyle method:

If you are interested in learning more about the hardstyle method I highly recommend the following books and DVDs:

“Power to the People” – Barbell strength
“Naked Warrior” – Maximum strength with bodyweight exercises
“Russian Kettlebell Challenge” – The original kettlebell book
“Enter the Kettlebell” – Hardstyle Kettlebell Training, level I
“Return of the Kettlebell” – Hardstyle Kettlebell Training, level II
“Viking Warrior Conditioning” – Progressions for cardio with kettlebells
“Fast and Loose” – Russian methods for speed and movement
“Relax into Stretch” – learn true flexibility
“Super Joints” – Intro to joint mobility
“Strength stretching”
“Martial Power” – Encyclopedia of hardstyle tips and tricks
“Loaded Stretching”
“Kettlebells from the Ground up” – Corrective training strategies with kettlebells

Warm up:
Z-health
Breathing techniques
FMS drills

Light day:
3 x Snatch-press combo (2×24kg):
1 snatch – 1 press
1 pullup (bw+16kg)
1 snatch – 2 press
2 pullups (bw+16kg)
1 snatch – 3 press
3 pullups (bw+16kg)

Double Kettlebell Deadlift:
20 reps x 2 x 32kg
20 reps x 2 x 24kg

Just a light day to get a feel for the approach Pavel describes in Return of the Kettlebell.

Afterwards I did some bodyweight get ups, light windmills and bent presses.

Nu fi trista domnisoara
Hai alunga amintirea
Care iti zambeste fruntea
Si iti intuneca privirea
As vrea sa uti ce a fost
sa te intorci cu gandul catre ieri
Nu are nici un rost

Nu lasa singuratatea
Sa vina langa tine
sa iti fure stralucirea
Sa iti ia zilele senine
Daca tu ai vrea
Lumea intreaga poate fi numai a ta

Sti si tu ca soarele
Se ascunde dupa nori
Fericirea e atat de aproape uneori

Nu fi trista domnisoara
Hai zambeste esti frumoasa
Sterge lacrima si vino
Nu te las sa stai in casa

Nopatea asta fii numai a mea
Vom dansa si paote vei uita
Si tristetea va ramana in urma ta

Nu fi trista domnisoara
Hai zambeste esti frumoasa
Sterge lacrima si vino
Nu te las sa stai in casa

Nopatea asta fii numai a mea
Vom dansa si paote vei uita
Stai cu mine in asta seara
Nu fi trista domnisoara

Nu lasa singuratatea
Sa vina langa tine
sa iti fure stralucirea
Sa iti ia zilele senine
Daca tu ai vrea
Lumea intreaga poate fi numai a ta

Sti si tu ca soarele
Se ascunde dupa nori
Fericirea e atat de aproape uneori

Nu fi trista domnisoara
Hai zambeste esti frumoasa
Sterge lacrima si vino
Nu te las sa stai in casa

Nopatea asta fii numai a mea
Vom dansa si paote vei uita
Si tristetea va ramana in urma ta

Nu fi trista domnisoara
Hai zambeste esti frumoasa
Sterge lacrima si vino
Nu te las sa stai in casa

Nopatea asta fii numai a mea
Vom dansa si paote vei uita
Stai cu mine in asta seara
Nu fi trista domnisoara

Fericirea e atat de aproape uneori
Dar nu o vezi cand ai plans iar pana in zori

Nu fi trista domnisoara
Hai zambeste esti frumoasa
Sterge lacrima si vino
Nu te las sa stai in casa

Nopatea asta fii numai a mea
Vom dansa si paote vei uita
Si tristetea va ramana in urma ta

Yohare Hai Yohare
Vom dansa o noapte
Yohare Hai Yohare
Vei uïta de toate…